A/N: I know the last chapter was quite the event, so I didn't want to take too long to give you all the next part. Updates may be a bit slow from here on out, but I do have some already written and the rest outlined, so I'm hoping I'll have the motivation to finish it quickly. Thank you all for your patience with my highly irregular upload schedule, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

He's walked about fifteen minutes in the cold winter air before he realizes that he has no idea where he is or where he's going. He contemplates turning around, going back the way he came and back into the house with Kurt, but he just can't face the other boy right now.

Not after this.

He knows he went too far. Knows he said things he shouldn't have said, knows Kurt is right when he said that Sebastian had no right to say what he's said. And he hadn't meant to, it had just sort of slipped out, the alcohol in his system and the heat of the moment creating just a perfect storm, and he knows Kurt is right. Of course they won't know everything, but they'll know enough. Enough to know something happened. Enough to ask questions, if they're bold enough, and while Sebastian doesn't know Kurt's friends all that well he does know most of them have no problem sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. He knows that he himself would have no problem, either, if it were anybody else.

Which is why he has no right to be mad at Kurt right now. Because Kurt was right about that, too. He's right about everything. This isn't about Kurt, not really. Of course Sebastian hates Blaine for how he's treated Kurt, and of course Sebastian hates that Kurt has been through what's been done to him, but really... this isn't about Kurt. This is about Sebastian. Because Sebastian hasn't told anyone, Sebastian hasn't told a single soul. He's kept it all locked away, so long now that it's like he doesn't know how to do anything other than keep it locked away, pushed far below the surface where it can't hurt him. But that doesn't really work, does it? It still hurts him. It still hurts him, it's a part of him now in so many ways he's lost count, so much of who he is is because of what was done to him, because nobody was there when he needed them. And he'll be damned if he lets anyone else be changed the same way he was.

But Kurt is right. Sebastian doesn't get to make those decisions for Kurt, it's not his place. It's no wonder Kurt got so mad, because every time this comes up Sebastian tries to tell him what to think, doesn't he? And he's never had anyone to talk to, so he doesn't know what that's like, but he can imagine, and what he imagines is that it's awful, and that's what he's been doing to his boyfriend. He can't bring himself to talk about what he's dealt with to anyone, not even Kurt, and he can't imagine how he'd feel if he tried and Kurt did... well, did what Sebastian has done every single time.

So, suffice it to say, Sebastian feels like shit. And there's no way he can go back to that house.

He pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts. He's not sure who he should call; anyone he's at all close to would understandably have questions if he called them to pick him up on the side of the road in the middle of Lima, and he's not in a place to deal with questions right now. He could just call a cab, but he still needs to go somewhere, can't go to his room at Dalton because it's closed for the holidays, can't just show up at home because he'd be met with the same questions, and besides, home is a long way from here.

What he needs is another drink.

He calls a cab. It's so easy to fall back into old habits when things get hard.

By the time the taxi drops him off at Scandals, he's thinking less about how upset Kurt is at him, and more about how many drinks it will take to push back his own memories trying to make their way to the surface. He's glad for the familiar building; he feels an odd sense of comfort almost enveloping him even as he steps through the door.

It's just as dingy as ever; it never really changes. He makes his way to the bar and orders himself a rum and coke, since beer doesn't seem quite strong enough tonight. The bartender gives him a smile and a "Haven't seen you 'round lately," and Sebastian just shrugs and hands over some cash. He's not in the mood to talk.

He's nearly finished his drink before someone approaches him.

"Hey baby, haven't seen you around lately. If I didn't know any better I'd have started thinking you were getting out of the scene."

He looks up to see a man standing and leaning against the bar beside him; Malcolm, he's pretty sure. They've hooked up a few times, and if he's honest, Malcolm is one of the best he's had. Not that that means he's interested in the other man tonight.

"I'm not interested, Mal," Sebastian sighs, looking away and taking another drink from his glass.

Malcolm smirks down at him. "Bullshit," he says, reaching a hand out to Sebastian's chin and turning his face up to look at him again.

Sebastian swats the hand away and shoots the man a glare. "Fuck off."

"Woah, someone's in a bad mood," Malcolm says, holding his hands up in surrender.

"I'm not in the mood."

Malcolm actually laughs beside him. "Since when are you not in the mood?"

"Since now," Sebastian snaps, "go away."

"Oh come on, don't be like that," Malcolm says, taking a seat on the stool beside Sebastian now, clearly choosing to ignore his request. "Let me cheer you up," he leers, moving a hand to Sebastian's thigh.

"Mal, I said I'm not interested."

"Give me a chance," the man says, leaning in close to Sebastian's ear, "I bet I can change your mind."

Sebastian grabs Malcolm's wrist and pulls the hand off his thigh, shoving it away.

"Go. Away."

Malcolm sits there for a moment, and Sebastian can feel the eyes on him, studying him, until another laugh bubbles out of the other man. "Holy shit. You have settled down, haven't you?"

He hadn't been planning to say it; it's not that he's ashamed of having a boyfriend, or even ashamed of Kurt specifically, he just knows the guys around here don't really care if you're single or not. If anything, it makes them try harder, because you're more of a challenge if you're already taken.

Maybe he should have taken that into account.

"Yeah, actually, I have a boyfriend now, so if you'd kindly fuck off and leave me to my rum and coke, I'd appreciate it, thanks," he snaps.

A grin spreads across Malcolm's face at that. "A boyfriend. Really, Sebastian? I never pegged you as the type. Is he meeting you here then?"

It's Sebastian's turn to laugh, though it comes out humourless. "As if I'd take a guy here."

Malcolm laughs again. "Very true," he agrees, and then he's asking the bartender for a couple more drinks and sliding one across to Sebastian. "If you're here alone even with a boyfriend back home, you probably need this," the man says with a wicked grin.

Sebastian doesn't see the harm in accepting the drink. Just one more mistake to add to the long list of other mistakes he's made this night.

"So what brings you out here all alone?" Malcolm asks, taking a sip of his own drink. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Something like that," Sebastian mumbles. He'd much rather Malcolm leave him alone, but at least he's not being actively hit on by the other man now. Small victories.

"Can't imagine what kind of guy would be stupid enough to get you pissed off enough to walk out on him," Malcolm remarks, then takes a sip of his drink.

"I'm the one who pissed him off, actually," Sebastian says with a sigh, and takes what is definitively more than a sip of his own drink.

"That so?" the man asks, raising an eyebrow at him. "And you decided the best way to un-piss him off was to come out here on your own?"

Sebastian glares at Malcolm. "I'm just giving him some space. He wasn't exactly in a talking mood. Not that it's any of your business."

"Oh come on, lighten up," he says, nudging Sebastian in the side with an elbow. "If you're just letting the guy cool down you might as well enjoy yourself while you're at it," Malcolm adds with a sly smile.

"I'm not here to have fun, Mal."

"Then why are you here?"

The question stops Sebastian in his tracks, because he doesn't actually have a good answer. He came here on instinct, hadn't given it any real thought, just did it because this is where he comes when he feels like he's losing control. But he can't be that guy any more. Because that guy comes here to drink and fuck away his problems, and he might not have cared when it was just himself he was hurting, but he can't hurt Kurt; or, at least, he can't hurt Kurt more than he already has. And if he stays here, if he runs from his problems – from Kurt – that's exactly what's going to happen.

"Hey, where are you going?" Malcolm asks as Sebastian pushes his still half-full glass away and stands up from the bar.

Sebastian doesn't bother responding to the other man, just brushes past and makes his way toward the exit.

"Good idea, make up sex is always the best sex!" the man calls out to his back with a chuckle, but Sebastian barely registers the words as he pushes through the door and approaches one of the taxis parked outside. He climbs in the back and gives the driver Rachel's address, and hopes Kurt is still there when he gets back.

"What do you want?" Rachel asks, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, blocking Sebastian's path.

"I just want to talk to him, Rachel. Let me in."

"I think you've said quite enough," she says, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Rachel, I'm his boyfriend, you can't not let me talk to him."

"Watch me," she says, not moving from her place in the doorway.

Sebastian sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Just let me in so I can talk to him."

"Not a chance," she says. "Goodbye, Sebastian." She moves from the doorway to close the door then, but Sebastian steps forward to block it with his foot.

"Rachel, please let me talk to him," Sebastian asks again. He doesn't understand why Kurt is friends with this girl, he can barely stand her, but right now she's the person standing between him and his boyfriend so he has no choice but to play nice.

"Sebastian Smythe you had better get off my property right now or I am going to call the police and have you escorted away," she snaps, and if she wasn't so infuriating he might actually be impressed with her nerve.

"Rachel, it's fine. Let him in."

It's Kurt's voice, coming from the other side of the door Rachel is still trying to close on Sebastian's foot.

"Kurt, you don't have to talk to him. He's an idiot and he was just leaving," she says, emphasizing the last word with another shove against the door, squashing his foot slightly and he exhales sharply at the pain.

"I want to talk to him," Kurt says.

There's a moment of silence before Rachel speaks again.

"Are you sure? Because I am not afraid to call the police on him if that's what it takes to make him leave."

"I'm sure, Rachel," Kurt says, and Sebastian can hear the sigh that he must be holding in.

Another moment of silence, before she says, "Fine," and lets the door swing open again. "But no funny business. I have bear spray, and I will use it," she warns with a finger pointed toward Sebastian. "I'll just be downstairs," she says to Kurt quietly as she passes him.

"Thanks, Rach," Kurt murmurs, letting her kiss him on the cheek before she disappears down the hallway toward the basement stairs.

And then, finally, he looks over to meet Sebastian's eyes.

Sebastian can tell he's been crying, Kurt's eyes are still red and his cheeks are still flushed, and he feels a pang of guilt because this is his fault, he caused this.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," he says, because he's never really had to do this before, isn't exactly sure what he needs to say, but he knows he needs to say that, at least.

Kurt stands there and stares back at him, wraps his arms around himself. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have said some of the things I said."

"You weren't wrong, though," Sebastian says quietly, breaking eye contact and looking down at the ground.

"I still shouldn't have–" Kurt starts, but Sebastian cuts him off.

"No, wait, let me... Let me talk. Okay?"

Kurt nods.

"I've been... I know I've pushed you, and I shouldn't have. And I can't... I'm not... I don't think I can... talk about, um...," he tries, not quite sure how he can say this without saying too much, because he really isn't ready to talk about this yet, not even to Kurt. "You were right. It's not about me, it's about you," he says, starting over. "And I had no right to say that in front of everyone. And I had no right to try to tell you how you should feel about... everything. That's... that's up to you. So, I'm sorry."

He keeps his eyes on the floor as he speaks, because he's sure that if he looks up at Kurt he'll lose his nerve. He doesn't do this, doesn't talk about feelings, doesn't apologize because he doesn't care if he hurts people, but... he cares if he hurts Kurt. Kurt, who has given him so much that he could use to hurt, but trusted him not to. And then he went and hurt him anyway. So, Kurt deserves an apology, deserves more than an apology, really, but this is the best Sebastian can do now.

Kurt isn't saying anything, and he doesn't know why Kurt isn't saying anything, and it's starting to make him nervous, so, finally, he looks up again. Kurt is just looking at him, lips pursed in consideration, and that doesn't do much to help Sebastian's nerves. But then, finally, Kurt speaks.

"When you left earlier, I was sure you weren't coming back," Kurt starts, and there's something in his voice that Sebastian can't quite place. "I didn't know where you were going, and I didn't really expect to ever find out. I figured you'd disappear for... well, I don't know how long, actually, but a while. Like that fight we had before we were together." Kurt pulls his arms tighter around himself. "I wasn't sure if you would ever come back," he admits quietly.

It hits him then, like a ton of bricks, that Kurt thought Sebastian would leave. Just like that. And of course he thought that, Sebastian can't really blame him, because Sebastian has left, just like he did tonight. He's left and he hasn't come back. And he knows he doesn't handle his emotions as well as he could, knows he could hurt Kurt, but he hadn't realized how much he already has hurt the other boy; because right now, Kurt should be pissed at him for what he said, but what Kurt is really upset about is that Sebastian left.

"Kurt...," he starts, but trails off, because what can he say to that?

"You can't do that again," Kurt continues. "I can't... I can't deal with that. Not knowing if you're coming back."

"I wouldn't leave you," Sebastian says weakly.

"You've done it before," Kurt points out, firmly but not unkindly, like it's just a fact of life, and it hurts. Because it's true.

"I wouldn't do it again."

"Rachel thought I should break up with you," Kurt says. "Well, assuming we were still together when you decided to speak to me again." The words sting, but he can't blame Kurt for them.

He hates to ask, it hurts to ask, but he has to. "Are you?"

"Am I what?" Kurt asks, confused.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"What? No!" Kurt says, giving him a look like he's crazy, and the certainty with which Kurt says it eases the uncomfortable feeling in his chest just a little. "Of course not. Rachel isn't exactly known for giving the best relationship advice."

"You don't say," Sebastian quips, earning a small smile from Kurt.

"She said I'm too forgiving, too, though," he continues seriously, "and I think she might have been right about that one, kind of."

"She is," Sebastian agrees quickly, and he can't believe he's so fast to agree with Rachel Berry of all people, but one thing that he's known about Kurt since before they were even friends is that Kurt is far too forgiving.

Kurt gives him a wry smile. "I think people deserve second chances. And sometimes third or fourth chances. But," he clarifies, "a second chance isn't any good if you don't know there was anything wrong in the first place. And I think that's the part I'm bad at... saying when something is wrong."

"So... what are you saying?" Sebastian asks carefully, because he's not quite sure he's following this train of thought.

"I'm saying," Kurt says, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips, "that this is your second chance."

"Just my second?" Sebastian hedges, fighting back his own smile.

Kurt does smile then, small but genuine. "Don't push your luck. Rachel wasn't kidding about the bear spray."

Sebastian actually laughs at that. There's still a tension in the air between them, but he can feel it easing now. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Maybe because you've met her?" Kurt says with a teasing grin.

"Right, I think that must be it," Sebastian agrees. "So... now what?"

Kurt sighs. "I still want to talk about this," he says, "but it's late, and I'm tired, and honestly I don't think I have the energy for it right now. So I think maybe... we should just go home. And we can talk in the morning."

"Okay," Sebastian agrees. He's pretty sure he can handle that.

"I'll go let Rachel know we're leaving."

"You sure she'll let you leave with me?" Sebastian teases.

Kurt smirks at him before turning and heading down the hallway toward the stairs. "We'll find out soon enough, won't we?"