A/N: Thank you all so much for you patience; I know it's been a month and a half since the last update, and I appreciate that I haven't gotten even a single "when is the next update?" message or comment. You are all really the best.

This chapter isn't what I was expecting it to be, and I got a bit carried away with it while I was writing (sometimes the boys just say or do things and I feel like I have no say in the matter lol), but I think I'm happy with where it went, and I hope you are too.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looks up from where he lays on his stomach, sprawled across his bed, nose buried in a magazine. "Yeah?"

He swallows, feels the panic start to well inside him, his stomach churning uneasily and, actually, this would be a mistake, there's no sense in asking because Kurt will just laugh and tell him it's a mistake, tell him there's no point, there's nothing to actually be done and Sebastian doesn't even know that he wants anything done, anyway, so what's the point?

"Never mind," he says quickly, looking back down at his laptop and pretending to focus on whatever is on his screen.

He hears Kurt shifting on the bed, the pages of the magazine falling shut. "Seb, what is it?"

"Nothing," he says, still not looking up, hoping that maybe if he seems enthralled enough with whatever he's supposedly reading his boyfriend will drop it.

"Seb, come on. What's going on?"

Sebastian finally looks up again, sees Kurt sitting cross-legged on the bed, magazine discarded, looking intently at Sebastian.

"Seriously, Kurt, it's nothing. Just forget it," he tries again, looking back down at his screen.

After a few beats, Kurt finally agrees with a soft, "Okay," and Sebastian hears him pick up his magazine again.

They sit there in silence for a while longer, Sebastian listening to the occasional flip of a page as he tries and fails to focus on the article he'd been reading. He just can't stop thinking. And he feels stupid for it, so stupid, because why does it even matter? If he told his parents about what happened it would just upset them. He's not even sure if there's anything that could be done at this point, and even if there was, he's not sure he wants anything done, so why does he want to tell them so badly? It's stupid, he feels stupid, but since he told Kurt he can't stop thinking about it and it's killing him.

But Kurt... Kurt wouldn't think it's stupid. That's just him, him thinking of the worst-case scenario, that's not what Kurt would say and he knows it. He feels bad for having even thought it, really, because when has Kurt ever laughed at him about this? Kurt has been nothing but considerate and compassionate and even if he doesn't think Sebastian should tell his parents then he still wouldn't make him feel like shit about it.

"Do you think I should tell my parents?" he blurts out, before he can talk himself out of it again.

He hears the pages of the magazine rustle, but he doesn't look up to meet Kurt's gaze.

"Tell them what?" Kurt asks.

"About... um. You know."

He hears the magazine flop down onto the bed. "Seb, I don't know what you're talking about."

"About what happened when I was a kid," he says quietly.

"Oh," Kurt breathes, but doesn't say anything else.

"Never mind, it's stupid," he says, still not looking up. "I'm being stupid, just forget it."

"Hey, no, you're not being stupid," Kurt reassures quickly. "I just... you surprised me, that's all."

Sebastian's eyes flick up to look at Kurt – he can't help it – and he sees his boyfriend staring back at him, head tipped slightly to the side. He looks back at the screen, doesn't want to hold Kurt's gaze.

"I think... if you want to, yeah. It's your call."

"I just– I can't stop thinking about it."

"Alright. If you think it would help, then you should tell them."

"You don't think it's stupid?" Sebastian asks, and he feels even more relieved than he'd expected.

"Seb, no, of course I don't," Kurt reassures, voice soft and warm and so sure. "Why would I think it's stupid?"

"It's just... what's the point? It's not like anybody can do anything now."

Kurt purses his lips before he speaks. "I'm not sure," he says, "but we could look into it. I'm not sure what the statute of limitations is, but if that's something you want to do, we can figure it out."

"And what if I don't?" he asks quietly, before he can lose his nerve.

Kurt's face softens. "Then you don't have to," he says simply. "Nobody would judge you for that."

"Then what's the point?" he asks, frustrated, voice louder than he intended. "Why does it matter if I don't want to do anything? It's stupid!"

"Hey, stop that," Kurt says, voice soothing, "it's not stupid. If this is something you need to do, then it's something you need to do."

Sebastian just groans, runs a hand through his hair and stares up at the ceiling, because why is this so hard?

"Look, you don't have to do it if you don't want to," Kurt starts again. "But if you think it would help, I think you should do it. Even if all that comes from it is that they know. Sometimes even that means a lot, you know?"

Sebastian looks back over at Kurt, sees his lips quirked into a small smile, and he huffs a laugh somewhere between frustration with himself and thankfulness for Kurt's patience. "Yeah, I know," he agrees.

They've talked about it a few times since then, and... he wants this. He wants to tell them. He wasn't sure if he could, wasn't sure how to say it because how do you say that?

Kurt had agreed to be there with him; he figures the moral support will help him not chicken out. He's not sure how his mom will react when he tells her – another thing he decided, to tell his mom alone, let her tell his dad.

"So, Sebby, what's going on?" his mother asks as she sits down in their living room.

Sebastian takes a seat on the couch across from her chair, and Kurt sits by his side, not quite touching him but close enough that Sebastian knows he's there and, god, how did he get so lucky to have Kurt for a boyfriend?

"There, um, there's something I need to tell you, mom," he says, trying to steady his voice but not quite succeeding.

"Seb," she says, frowning, "is everything okay? You're worrying me. What is it?"

"It's, um... I don't know how to...," he starts, trails off, because as many times as he's tried to think this through in his head, he still isn't sure how he's supposed to say this.

"I'm sure whatever it is can't be that bad, Seb," his mom says, voice soft. "It's not like you went and got some girl pregnant," she adds, smiling a little, clearly trying to ease his obvious discomfort.

"No, of course not," he says, returning a tight smile, "it's nothing like that. It's... something happened."

"What happened? Are you okay? Did someone do something to you? When did it–" his mother starts, speaking quickly, but he cuts her off.

"No mom, it's not– I'm fine. I mean, I'm...," he trails off, looks to Kurt who gives him a reassuring nod, and then he presses on. "It's not... recent," he finally decides on.

His mother frowns again in confusion. "I'm confused, honey. What are you talking about?"

"When I was I kid," he says quietly, staring down at his hands in his lap, "I um... I was...," he trails off, again, looking for the right words.

"Oh, honey," his mother says, sympathetic, "when you were a kid? I'm sure whatever it was can't be that bad. That was so long ago, you don't really think I'll be upset about something you did as a kid, do you?"

"No, I didn't– it's not like that. I didn't do anything, it wasn't– that's not–" he cuts himself off with a groan. "Fuck."

"Language, Sebastian," she scolds, though there's no heat behind it.

"Sorry," he sighs.

"It's okay," Kurt says soothingly, "take your time."

"Yeah," Sebastian sighs, runs a hand through his hair trying to calm himself. "Yeah, okay."

"Whatever it is, sweetheart, it's okay. You can tell me," his mother reassures.

"No it's not," he mumbles quietly to himself, though apparently not quietly enough.

"What?" she asks.

"It's not okay," he says, a little louder, because... it's not. He's okay – relatively speaking, of course – but what happened... what happened is not okay.

"Honey, please, just tell me what's wrong."

"It's... Ezra," he manages, and the name feels wrong passing his lips.

His mother frowns again. "Ezra?"

"He, um... he touched... me..." he says, more whispers, voice strained as he tries to force the words from his mouth.

"He..." his mother starts, trails off in thought, like she's trying to process what he might mean.

"And I didn't say anything because I... I was scared, and he said it was our secret, and I just– I needed to tell you," he says, voice breaking as he feels the tears welling in his eyes. "Mom, I'm so sorry."

"No. Oh, honey, no, don't be sorry," his mother reassures quickly, moving to the couch and wrapping him in her arms.

He stiffens instantly at her touch, feels trapped, he doesn't want to be touched he needs space it's too much.

"Stop," he breathes, barely able to get the word out, but he feels her loosen her hold on him at the word and he finds the breath to continue, "let go, I just– I need space–"

Her arms fall away from him, but she stays seated beside him, watching him with wide, worried eyes.

"Sebastian," she says, his name sounds broken from her lips, "I'm so sorry. I didn't– we didn't know. I am so, so sorry, honey, I..." she trails off again, voice watery as tears streak down her cheeks, and this is not what he wanted.

"It's not your fault," he says quietly.

"It's not yours, either," she says, brushing a stray piece of hair from his face and resting her hand on his cheek. "You know that, right?"

He nods his head, but can't bring himself to look back at her as he does; can't bring himself to say, I know.

"Do you want to go to the police?" she asks cautiously. "We can go down to the station and file a report, and–"

"No," Sebastian interrupts quickly. "No, I don't want– it's probably too late for that, and I don't... I just don't want to be around him anymore."

"Okay," his mother says, nodding, looking a bit unsure, a little lost. "Okay, that's fine. And of course you don't have to see him anymore. I'm so sorry, I wish you had told me sooner, honey, if I'd known then you never would have–"

"Stop, please, can you just stop it," he cuts her off, "stop apologizing, this isn't about you, just stop."

She blinks, looks at him with wide eyes. "Of course it's not, I just wish I knew so I could have done something, if you had told me then–"

"I can't do this," he mutters to himself, then a little louder, "I can't do this."

It's too much. Her reaction is better than he'd expected, if he's being honest with himself, but it's still just too much; too much about what she wishes he'd done, too much about how if he'd only done things differently, if he'd only been stronger or braver or more then this wouldn't have happened, too much of this being his fault and he just can't.

"Sebastian, where are you going?" she asks worriedly as he stands and walks quickly across the room.

"I just– I need some space," he grits out, hopes it's enough to get her to leave him alone because he doesn't want to say something he'll regret but he's not sure he can stop himself if she pushes any further.

He hears her start to speak, but then Kurt speaks, cutting her off gently. He doesn't stick around to hear what he says, just needs to get away, makes his way to his room and slams the door behind him, paces the floor anxiously and tries to not feel like this is all his fault, tries not to feel like this was all a mistake, like he could have just kept his mouth shut and forgot about it, why can't he just forget about it?

Eventually, there's a soft knock on his door, followed by Kurt's equally soft, "Seb?"

"What?" he snaps, harsher than he intends.

He's still pacing, but he hears the door push open and Kurt pads into the room, pulling it closed again behind him. "Are you okay?"

"I just– this was so stupid. Why did I tell her? I should have just kept my mouth shut, this is stupid."

"It's not stupid. She's just upset, Seb, you know she didn't mean anything by it."

"But she's right," he says, exasperated, pacing faster. "If I had just told them back then, it wouldn't be a problem now, it's like there's not even a point anymore, why did I think I needed to do this? It's so fucking stupid I should have just kept my mouth shut, I made it this far it's not like it matters."

"Of course it matters. This isn't your fault, nobody thinks this is your fault."

"She does," he spits out.

"No, she doesn't. I talked to her, Seb, she feels like it's her fault."

"What? Why?" he asks, bewildered.

"She thinks she should have noticed," he explains, taking a seat on Sebastian's bed and watching him closely. "Trust me, if she's blaming anyone, it's herself, not you. I promise."

Sebastian eyes Kurt warily, not quite sure he believes him, but god, he wants to believe him.

"But she said it herself," he says quietly. "If I had said something sooner, then–"

"It still would have happened," Kurt cuts him off softly. "Not all of it, but... you couldn't have known. You were a kid, Seb, this isn't your fault."

"So there's nothing I can do, then? Ever? Things will just happen and I don't get a say in it? What's the fucking point? I'm not some pathetic victim, Kurt." His voice is angrier than he'd meant it to be, angrier than he'd expected but he's just all of a sudden angry. "Everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault, how am I supposed to accept that? If I was older, would it be my fault then?"

"No, of course not!"

"So then I'm just helpless?" he asks plainly.

"No, of course you're not –"

"So then which is it?" he snaps. "Either nothing is ever my fault and I'm helpless because anybody can just do whatever they want, or it is my fault and I'm just too fucking scared to do anything about it. Either way it's pathetic. I'm pathetic."

"You're not pathetic," Kurt says, "you are one of the strongest people I know. And this is not your fault but that doesn't mean you're helpless, Seb, it's just... you can't blame yourself for this."

"I'm just so sick of feeling this way," he says, frustrated, looking desperately at Kurt. "I want it to stop," he adds, voice breaking.

"I know," Kurt nods, "I know. I'm sorry. But... I think this is a start, right?"

"It doesn't feel like it," Sebastian mumbles, moving to take a seat on the bed beside Kurt.

"Well, they always say it has to get worse before it gets better, right?" Kurt asks, a rueful smile on his face.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Whatever," he mutters.

"I love you," Kurt says softly, and Sebastian turns to look at him, Kurt looking back, watching him with kind eyes. "And I'm so proud of you."

"I love you, too," Sebastian says, leaning in and giving Kurt a soft kiss. "Thank you."