The Beagle Birthday Massacre!
It was sunset at the beach, as the kids prepared for a trip in a small wooden boat the boys have used for a while. Now, they were joined by Webby and Rebecca.
Huey was currently listing off supplies. "Compass, CB radio, sunscreen."
"Hot dog costumes." Webby says as she puts life jackets with hot dogs attached to them in the canoe.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Louie, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Louie hates hot dogs so he probably won't eat us."
"Are you saying that Louie would rather eat us than hot dogs?"
"I do hate hot dogs." Louie confesses with a smug grin.
Rebecca gives Louie a look of 'if you even TRY to eat us, I will kill you, I have my sword with me this time'.
Huey blinks. "I think we'll be good."
"So what do you need Rebecca and me to do?" Webby asks.
"I think that's everything. Louie's got the canteens. Dewey's got the paddles."
"Nautical leap. YAR. Nailed it." Dewey says as he screws around.
"Relax, we've taken this old kayak out dozens of times." Huey assures
"Even though it is more of a canoe." Rebecca corrects.
"Anywho, we got this." Huey assures.
"Maybe I can be in charge of the map?" Webby asks.
"Oh Huey always handles the map, thanks to ol' Captain Lost, here." Dewey states.
"Hey! That's 'Captain Lost, sir' to you." Louie corrects.
"Captain Lost. Captain Lost." Dewey and Huey chant, after which everyone, bar Rebecca, laugh.
"I don't know why we're laughing." Webby says.
"Yeah I don't get it." Rebecca says, deadpan.
"Oh this whole crazy story where we all went kayaking, and Louie..." Huey explains
"...Got lost?" Webby and Rebecca ask.
"Yeah, sort of had to be there I guess." Louie shrugs.
"But now you will be. Onward to adventure!" Dewey exclaims.
Everyone then gets into the boat at once. That was a mistake.
"Pardon me." Webby apologizes.
"Why aren't we 'to adventuring?'" Dewey asks.
"Louie get your tail out of my face!" Rebecca demands.
Webby then falls out of the overcrowded boat, which is just able to hold the four siblings.
"I guess we never had to stick five people on this thing." Louie acknowledges.
"I'm surprised four can fit in here, what with Louie here." Rebecca says.
"Excuse me I am not fat!" He scoffs.
"Never said you were. I was referring to your ego so big it has its own gravitational field." She remarks.
"Anyways... here Webby, you can take my spot." Huey offers.
"No, no, it's okay." Webby waves off
"Are you sure?" Dewey asks.
"Yeah, you four need to spend time as siblings. I'll just go when you guys get back."
"Unless Captain Lost gets us lost again." Huey says as he and Dewey start chanting 'Captain Lost' again
"It's just so fun to chant." Louie groans.
"I still don't get it!" Rebecca complains as the boat sets off.
Later on...
"Seriously Lou how are you so hopeless with directions?" Rebecca asks, a tad pissed.
"It wasn't that bad." Louie tries to wave off.
"You nearly drove us into a whirlpool!" Huey argues.
"Shh! Quiet! I think I hear someone." Dewey says as the ground nears an old, abandoned playground.
The boys walk through some bushes they are between then and the playground. Then, Rebecca hears what sounds like a scuffle.
"Lena, no. These are the guys I was talking about." Webby can be heard saying.
"Oh." A new voice says, one Rebecca had never heard.
Rebecca walks through the bushes, and sees a girl who seems to be about a teen, taller than any of them, and dressed in green sneakers, grey striped sweater, and a blue shirt.
"Lena this is Rebecca, Huey, Dewey, and Louie." Webby says.
"Webby, we've been looking for you everywhere." Dewey says.
Lena just smirks at the boys. "Cute, the names and the color coded outfits, was that like your thing, you're all exactly the same?"
"Hah, no way, we're all unique snowflakes. Well this usually never happens. This is really weird, okay, stop talking. Antidisestablishmentarism. Seriously? Gahh." The three brothers say in unison, causing Rebecca to back up, freaked out.
"Seriously, Webby. where have you been? We've been worried out of our minds." Huey says.
"Well uh Lena and I..." Webby starts.
"Right, you were so worried that you left her on a beach and didn't show up for four hours?" Lena accuses.
"What?!" Rebecca snaps at the slander. Webby had stayed behind then wandered off. How? How were they in the wrong? Her brain cannot comprehend it! So much so, that she zones out to the discussion, glaring at Lena. Who was this girl trying to take Webby, HER best friend, from her?
And then, it is broken when they all hear... whistling.
"What was that?" Huey asks.
"Shh..." Lena says as they all hide.
"Ma to the Tumblebums, the rugrats have been spotted in your turf. Make 'em sorry they crashed our party." Ma Beagle says over the radio.
"The Tumblebums? They sound adorable." Huey says, when the Tumblebums appear. "Never mind."
"Oh no. Not clowns, not clowns!" Rebecca starts to panic as Huey and Louie start to bicker. "I hate clowns. And these are Beagle Boys?" She is too freaked out to hear anything else by anyone, zoning out.
Then, eventually, the Tumblebums slip on some banana peels, incapacitating them and allowing the kids to flee.
Rebecca catches her breath and calms down. She was safe, and the clowns were gone.
...
Back at the boat, Rebecca is watching as a group of seagulls abduct Louie, which she saw as karma. Meanwhile, Huey and Webby are talking, Webby seeming upset her friend left her. She hears Webby mention how she thought her and this 'Lena' could have the same thing the guys have. Rebecca is confused, as didn't her and Webby have that? They were effective sisters, weren't they? Webby wasn't going to replace her, was she? Then, she is told something about Lena needing help. Guess McDucks never get a break, huh?
...
One mission to save Lena, getting caught, then escaping by causing the Beagles to fight later, the kids return home, Lena heading off. Rebecca and Webby stuck together as they guys head on in.
"Webby? Why did you run off from the beach?" Rebecca asks.
"Oh, uh, Lena was leaving messages in bottles with fake calls for help." Webby answers.
"Oh. And, you followed them to her?"
"Yep. We had an adventure of our own! Snuck into Ma Beagle's birthday party, almost got caught, Lena pushed Ma Beagle's face into her cake, we ran..." Webby continues, knowing Rebecca has a tendency to zone out and not pay attention at points, so she was in need of informing.
"That was one heck of an adventure you guys had. Sounds like one you and I might have had."
"Yeah. It was great! Sorry you missed out on it. How was your trip with the guys?"
"Well, Louie got ahold of the map and nearly directed us into a whirlpool. Now I get the whole 'Captain Lost' bit."
"Well, you seem to have had an adventure all your own."
"Yeah." Rebecca says. "So, Lena's your new best friend?"
"Yep! She's great."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Something wrong Becca?"
"No, not really, just... It's always been you and me for ten years. Then the guys show up and, well, I couldn't be happier. I've been spending so much time with them. But... I now realize you've kinda been left out. In, more ways than one. I forget the last time you and I did something together, just you and I."
"What are you getting at?"
"It's just, I thought we would always be best friends." Rebecca says, looking down.
"Rebecca, you aren't my best friend." Rebecca looks up at Webby at that. "You are my sister." Webby assures, hand on the purple duckling's shoulder. "Always have, and always will be."
Rebecca smiles as the two girls hug. "Thanks Webby. You're the best sister a girl can ask for. And I know, in time, the guys will accept you as such as well."
The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!
In the underwater lab at the McDuck money bin...
Ian was bringing Gyro a cup of coffee and some food for lunch, Gyro looking on a tablet at something.
"Ugh, Beaks is at it, again."
"What cheap gimmick is he trying this time, Dr. Gearloose?" He asks, Lil' Bulb taking the coffee and carrying it to Gyro.
"An absolute act of fraud called Project Ta-Da." Gyro clarifies as he takes the coffee and takes a sip.
"What makes you call it fraud?"
"Zero details on it."
"How long has it been out?"
"Few months."
"Oh yeah no, that is a fraud. Probably using hype to trick people into investing, and when it is too late to do anything he's taken the money and run."
"Oh no doubt. If he was smart he'd hire someone to 'steal' it, so he can say that and have plausible deniability.
"Please, you give him too much credit, sir. Credit he doesn't deserve."
"Thank you, assistant. At least you are smart enough to realize the charlatans in this modern world of technological innovation, which can't be said for much of your generation."
"Right." Ian takes a sip of his soda, not one for coffee.
Meanwhile...
Rebecca is scrolling through social media, looking at Project Ta-Da. She'd gotten interested in following potentially big, profitable projects a year or two back, at Scrooge's behest. She'd even taken to mock investing, seeing how good the return would be. Results? ...Not, that great. She was a tad oblivious to trends and even warning signs of scams. She'd lost several million in hypothetical money. She was hopeless. She really, really needed help. But who, who could possibly be a master that could guide her? Then, as she passes the tv room, she answers her own question as she hears Ottoman Empire playing, meaning... "Louie!"
"Huh? Oh, hey sis." Louie says, attention not exact on her.
"Hey baby bro, whatcha doin'?" She asks sweetly.
"Uh, watching Ottoman Empire?"
"Oh, cool. Cool. Say, uh, can I ask you something?"
"Can is wait? Kinda busy."
Rebecca then grabs the remotes and pauses the show, then throws the remote across the room. "How about now?"
Louie groans, knows she did that because he is too lazy to get a remote 2 feet from him, let alone across the room. "What?"
"I, need some advice on investing, and figured you'd be a good choice since Uncle Scrooge is out."
"Wait, you need me to help you with investing?"
"Well, mock-investing. I don't wanna risk real money yet. Been doing it for a few years."
"Oh. What luck?
"..." Rebecca is just silent.
"Not good?"
"I'd be several million in debt."
"Ouch. Well, you came to the right place. So, what do you nee help with?"
"Well, how about my latest target?"
"And that is?"
"Waddle's Project Ta-Da. Should I 'invest'? And if so, how much?"
"Huh. Can I take a look?"
"Sure." Rebecca hands Louie her phone, and he looks. Not even a minute later, he hands it back. "Well?"
"No investing in that, it is a scam."
"Wha- you can tell that fast?"
"Oh yeah. Look, it's been public for several months, and yet no info on the details. Just look at the phrase he uses: It's everything you think it is, and nothing you're expecting. That is so vague!"
"So, what is it?"
"In my opinion? It is a hype trap. He's about to become a billionaire, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, what better way to earn that than to say you are creating something with massive hype, having people invest, and stay vague."
"That does make sene, but wouldn't it be clear it is fraud, which is a federal crime, mind you?"
"Not if someone 'steals' it."
"Huh?"
"If he says someone stole it, with nothing existing to begin with, then no one will question that claim." Louie explains when, as if on queue, Beaks' social media updates to claim Project 'Ta-Da!' was, indeed, stolen.
"Woah. That was scary on point."
"What can I say? It takes a con artist to know a con."
"..."
"What?"
"Llewellyn..." Rebecca is going to need to have a long, long talk with her youngest brother about morality. She'd also need to see what he had been up to the past ten years. Maybe Webby could help with interrogation?
The Terror of the Terra-firmians!
It was night at the movie theater, and the group consisting of the quadruplets, Webby, Lena, Mrs. Beakley, Launchpad, and Ian were leaving, having just watched a movie. Specifically, a clearly R-rated monster movie. Each came out with a slightly different reaction. Dewey, Webby, and Lena seemed to love it, the latter two discussing it. Beakley was upset Lena had lied to her about the appropriateness, nature, and content of the film, scolding the teen, which she countered with nonsense. Louie was disappointed by the lack of drama, heart, and car crashes while eating his popcorn. Huey was talking about the scientific improbability of it, not amused, getting into a slight debate with Webby. Launchpad was terrified to the point of destroying the poster. Ian and Rebecca though?
"That was the fakest thing I've ever seen. The CG was terrible!" Rebecca rants, still munching on her jumbo chocolate bar.
"Yeah. I could do better, and I suck at CG! And the acting? Blegh! Teens played by adults twice their age, with dialogue written by balding middle-aged men? Knew it'd be cringey." Ian says, annoyed by cash-grab films like that with zero attention to reality, and zero care for the art form.
"Why did you even come if you wouldn't like it?" Dewey asks.
"Rebecca convinced me to see if I'd get scared."
"Did you?" Huey prods.
"Startled at the jumps scares, but no genuine fear, terror, horror. Monsters do nothing for me." Ian says, sipping the XL soda he got. No ice, of course.
"Yeah because your response would be to shoot anything like that." Louie counters.
"Well of course. This is America after all. But at least I'm not katana-crazy Rebecca."
"Excuse me! Katanas are awesome!" Rebecca states, almost offended.
"They are over-hyped! And claims are either exaggerated or not unique to the sword. A European longsword can do just as much damage as a katana, without the risk of snapping in two." Ian says as he and Rebecca start to go back and forth about medieval weaponry, of European vs Japanese, zoned out to, well, everything else going on.
"Uh, should we do something?" Dewey asks.
"No way! This is better than the movie." Louie starts to stuff his beak with popcorn, grinning at the argument. He didn't understand half the things they were saying, but it was entertaining.
...
A bit later, Rebecca and Ian don't notice the others left to find Huey, Webby, and Lena, still too into their debate.
"At least you never have to sharpen a samurai sword!" Rebecca argues.
"And that is a good thing? It is so hard it is near impossible to sharpen or repair if damaged. That is a bad thing! Never use bog iron for your swords! Only use the purest steel." Ian counters.
Suddenly, the ground shakes under them, nearly throwing them off balance.
"What was that?" Rebecca asks.
"Felt like an earthquake." Ian says.
"You think the others are okay?"
"Eh, probably fine."
"Yeah. Back to arguing?"
"Yes. I believe it was your turn, m'lady." Ian says as the two get back to arguing.
...
Even later still, when the others return to the surface and to the remaining two, Rebecca and Ian were STILL bickering over weapons, but were clearly exhausted and at the end of that by now.
"So, what next, mister, expert?" Rebecca asks panting.
"What do, you have? Weeb?" Ian counters, also panting.
"I... am... not..." Rebecca then passes out, too exhausted to continue.
Ian puts a fist up in victory. "I... Win..."
"Congratulations, you've exhausted a child into unconsciousness. Are you proud of yourself?" Beakley asks half-scolding as she picks up Rebecca.
"She... Started it."
"You called her katana-obsessed." Louie points out.
"And she, took, offense. She's, better, than... that." Ian says as he struggles to stand, lightheaded from nonstop talking and arguing.
"Hmm... Well, we are headed back to the mansion for pancakes, if you'd like to join us." Beakley offers.
"Did someone say pancakes?!" Rebecca says as she revives, lifting her head up at near light speed. "I'll have a dozen chocolate chip!"
Ian grins. "See? She's, fine..." He pants.
"Launchpad? Please help Mr. Boone." Beakley requests.
"Sure thing Mrs. B!" Launchpad says as he half-carries Ian as they all return to the manor.