The next week passed in a blur as Sydney and Dimitri kept me locked down on house arrest. Sydney seemed constantly stressed out, and I couldn't blame her. She had explained to me just what reeducation meant, and I couldn't imagine her having to go through that. I promised myself I would protect her from that fate, which is why I hadn't tried out any escape plans. I needed to heal, so I could be prepared for anything.

Dimitri had been, well, Dimitri. After our kiss, he carried me back to the motel room. He had been the perfect gentleman, tucking me into bed before crawling into the other one. Since then, things had been strained. He was still attentive and caring towards me, but there was a caution there that hadn't been present before. It was like the kiss knocked him back to his senses.

It made me feel stupid for thinking he may have still had feelings for me. It was hard not to convince myself when he looked at me the way he had done in the hospital room, but it was clear now that it had been a lapse in judgment. He was now back to the reserved guardian I always knew him to be.

At the end of the week, I decided I was sick of needing his help and took off my braces. It made me thankful for my dhampir genes. I knew I wouldn't have lasted another minute of him doting on me out of some twisted sense of duty. All of the bruising had gone away, and the scars on my back had even healed better than I thought possible. They were still present, but they weren't extremely prominent.

The first thing I'd done was go for a quick run. Dimitri insisted on coming with me, and despite my protests I finally relented. We only ran about four miles, doing laps around the motel at his suggestion. I had wanted to see something other than the parking lot, but he didn't leave much room for argument.

"What's wrong?" He asked me as we did our cool down stretches.

"Nothing," I lied, letting my arms reach high above my head. I saw his eyes flicker to where my shirt rode up on my hips before settling back on my face. He was absolutely infuriating me.

"Rose..."

"When are you going to find Sonya Karp for me?"

He hesitated for a moment, and I knew he had information he hadn't shared with me. I narrowed my eyes at him, standing up fully to meet his gaze. He held it for a second before moving his body away from mine.

"Is that really important right now?"

"Well, it's not like we're doing anything else. I want to do something useful," I complained.

"There's something you're not telling me. I don't even know the reason you want to find her," he said.

"It's none of your business, Comrade. I just need you to tell me where she is. I have the rest under control."

"I won't tell you where she is until I know why you need to find her," he said with full confidence.

"I can't live with the fact that I let a strigoi escape. Not after what happened before..." I said. I felt a little guilty as I delivered my lines, but I couldn't tell him the truth. He would either try to stop me, or worse, help me.

He kept his mask up, though I could tell from his eyes that my words had hurt. I didn't need to explain what "before" meant. I'm sure we both spent many nights awake thinking about what had happened in Las Vegas after we met.

"I can tell when you're lying, you know," he responded simply.

I groaned and turned my body away from his. Of course he knew I was lying. He could read me like no one else. He also knew just how to leverage his information. I knew he wouldn't allow me to go alone if he knew what I was planning. I also knew he was serious when he said he wouldn't tell me where she was. I was, for lack of a better term, completely fucked.

Neither of us said anything after that, effectively ending the conversation. I didn't look back as I left him alone in the parking lot to try and figure out my plan. He wouldn't possibly guess what I wanted to do, even though he had been through it himself.

I made my way to Sydney's room and pounded on the door. She let me in and I collapsed on her bed, trying to leave my frustration outside with Dimitri. I had enough of him for the time being, and I knew "alone time" wasn't really an option. Plus, I made a point to check in on Sydney every day. Our friendship was growing slowly but surely.

"So when are you going to tell me what's going on between you two?" She asked, typing on a brand new laptop Abe had overnighted to her. He had sent us a sort of "care package" earlier in the week, letting us know not to call home in case they were monitoring my friends at Court. It made being here more difficult. I hadn't even received any spirit dreams.

"Absolutely nothing," I explained. She raised her head from her work, giving me a scathing look.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yup." I said, popping the 'p' loudly into the room.

"You seem upset about that," she looked back at her computer, but she was smirking the whole time. I wanted to smack it off her face, but instead I turned and screamed into her pillow. I heard her laugh in response, and I chucked the pillow at her face. She caught it and scolded me for being so careless around her electronics, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"I don't see why I can't stay here with you. It makes more sense for us girls to stick together, anyway," I complained.

"Dimitri insisted you be roomed together so he could look after you. I couldn't convince him otherwise," she explained.

"I'm all better now, so can I move my stuff in?" I pleaded with her.

"I think 'look after you' roughly translates to 'make sure you don't run away' in this scenario," she said, speaking in a light tone. It was so close to a joke I let out a little laugh.

"I just... can't take him being so stiff and proper around me. It's like nothing ever happened between us. It's killing me," I confessed.

"That's what's killing you? You almost died for real two weeks ago, or did you forget that?" Sydney asked me incredulously.

"I sound really fucking dramatic, don't I?" I laughed out loud, Sydney joining in.

"I don't know. I've never really dated, so I can't really give you any advice," she said.

"Thanks, Syd. You always know how to make me feel better," I joked, and we laughed together once more. It was nice, feeling like I had a friend. It almost let me forget the ones I had left behind at Court. Almost.

I let Sydney get back to her work while I rested on her bed. The sound of her typing lulled me into a trance like state, and for the first time in the last two weeks I was able to fall asleep undisturbed.

When I woke, Sydney was in the bed next to me and I realized she had actually let me stay with her for the night. I briefly wondered how she managed to convince Dimitri, but I shook the thought off quickly as a plan started forming in my mind.

I slipped quietly out of the bed and to the other side of the room. I silently rummaged through the drawers, collecting the few things I would take with me. Some cash, a fake ID courtesy of Abe, and Sydney's car keys. I couldn't risk going to the other room and waking Dimitri, so I was only taking what would fit in my pockets.

The air was crisp and quiet when I stepped outside. I made my footsteps as light as possible in the gravel of the parking lot. I held my breath as I walked, only exhaling once I was behind the wheel with the door locked. Not even the knock on my window could bring me down.

I didn't need to look to know who would be on the other side of the glass. I cracked the window slightly after turning on the car. I let my foot rest heavily on the brakes, ready to shift gears the second I sensed trouble.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked calmly.

"Leaving," I responded simply, adjusting the mirrors as I did so.

"Why?"

"I need to find Sonya Karp."

"And how are you going to do that? I haven't told you where she is..." he answered triumphantly.

"You won't tell me. So I'm going to have to find her myself. I'm done waiting around."

I could see the blood drain from his face as mine set with determination. I felt a little smug at still being able to surprise him, but that feeling was wiped away once he started speaking back.

"Rose, haven't you learned by now not to rush into things? You haven't changed at all."

Those words felt like a shock to my system. Dimitri had no idea what I had been through, what I had done, and what those things had done to me in return. I had been breaking and putting myself back together for months, trying to find ways to keep living. And he hadn't even noticed.

"Is that what you really think? That I haven't changed at all?" I asked, voice shaking, through the crack in the window.

He went silent, staring at me like he knew he made a mistake. But he wasn't able to voice it. Instead he just kept staring, eyes burning into mine. I took a deep breath and turned fully to face him.

"You decided when you came back that you didn't want to be a part of me anymore. You don't have any idea how much I've changed. Forgive me for ignoring your status report," I rolled my eyes and sat back, letting the sting of his words fully bloom in my mind.

I expected him to give up on the conversation and fight his way into the car. Instead, he took in a breath before his face softened, leaning in closer to the door to respond.

"I do want to be a part of you, Roza. I just don't know how. I don't know how to live with myself, after everything... But I don't know how to live without you, either," he said, barely above a whisper.

I was stunned, and unsure if I heard him correctly at first. This was what I wanted, wasn't it? I wanted him to want me. I spent nights awake wishing he would come back to me. Now, it seemed like he was. All I had to do was meet him there.

I wasn't sure if I could.

"How can I trust you won't run away when I need you? Like I need you now, to help me find Sonya?" I questioned.

Dimitri took a deep breath and hooked his fingers in the cracked window, the tips barely curling over the glass. I looked at those hands, strength and grace pulsed from his fingers into his palms and down his wrists. I knew how they could strike out against an enemy, and how they could tangle into my hair and pull me closer, tenderly.

"We'll need Sydney's help if we're really going to do this," he answered.

"Go get her. I'll wait," I replied.

He held my gaze for several long seconds before nodding, unlatching his fingers from the window and walking back to the hotel door Sydney was sleeping behind. He trusted that his words would keep me here in the parking lot while his back was turned.

It wasn't his statement that kept me here, though. It was his hands, still by his side as he walked away from me. His hands, balled into a fist as he rapped on Sydney's door, tense as they returned back to his side. His fingers flexing as she threw the door open, eyes wild in search of me.

It was those hands, and the promise that they long to hold my body against his, that kept the car here, headlights turned off as I waited for them to join me.

Let me know what you guys think of this chapter! Also, I've posted the first chapter of another VA fic and would love it if you guys went to check it out!