20th November 2020: Inside Out
None of them could hold each other's gaze, none of them could believe the events fo the day. Peter ending up in a hospital, Carla sleeping with his nephew, that would be enough to finish him off if he knew the truth but it was just a wreckless mistake a stupid let alone dangerous. Harsh words were thrown around this room too often, the way he was talking about their daughter, the daughter she carried for that short time whilst he was having it off with the babysitter, it hurt to think about how much she didn't mean to him, how much something they created out of love, so she thought, was no longer here and was dead and he just couldn't care about it.
He found out about her mistake, the infidelity and the lies, the only problem is she didn't feel free from them because she didn't say who she slept with only that it was some random bloke, not his nephew, she really didn't want to have to tell him, she cared so much about him and in this moment he was vulnerable and she didn't want to finish him off like that, he wouldn't survive this and that's what she hated how this little thing could jeopardise his health as well as the entirety of their relationship. She was stupid and she knew it.
She watched as he took another couple of his pills from the prescription which he got from the hospital unable to dring herself to speak about the current situation without herself ending up in tears. She watched him flick the kettle on and watched him grab some mugs from the cupboard, he soon placed a mug down in front of her both of them unable to figure out where they went from here.
"You didn't have to-"
"I wanted to" he smiles lopsidedly gesturing for her to stand up which she does, he grabs her waist and pulls her onto his lap "I just want you close to me"
"I really am sorry" she gulps still unable to look at him in the eye knowing how much her deceit was eating them both up "I can still go-"
"Don't" he kisses her on the forehead, she begins to cry again and so does he "Don't blame yourself, blame me-"
"That's not fair, I should have just realised that you were lashing out, I did...sorry I just don't know anymore" she pinches the bridge of her nose and hums slightly "Look I'm going to go for a lie-down, I have a splitting headache"
"Yeah you look tired, I should probably sleep as well" he smiles watching her get off his lap, he glances to the whiskey on the side table and sighs slightly, Carla bites her lip and bends down in front of him offering a small smile
"You can do this" she smiles taking his hands, he nods sadly causing her to pull him up gently into her arms "I have so much faith in you baby and whatever happens then...we'll get through it"
"You're amazing you know that?" he smiles standing up and taking her hand, he leads her up the stairs into the bedroom she begins to undress, she gingerly swipes one of Peter's old t-shirts and chucks it over her body before reaching up under the t-shirt and taking her bra off "Come here" he beckons her over, she bites her lip and folds her arms across her body insecurely but she eventually walks into his body breathing in the scent of his bare skin
"I'm so sorry" she whimpers as the tears start again, he cups her face in his hands and wipes her tears with the pads of his thumbs
"You're beautiful Carla, I love you so much I'm not going to let some stupid mistake ruin us, I'm not because when I think about the mistakes I made...last time... I was so much worse, I've done so much worse than you baby, don't blame yourself blame me"
"Well you don't control me Peter" she replies quietly "It was my choice to sleep with...him"
"I know but please, after all the things I said to you, after all the times I hurt you with those words I said, I'm so sorry for making you feel like you had to get back at me, but I deserved it didn't i-"
"No stop, this...we're both to blame, I just want to move on" she whispers, he tilts her face up so that their eyes can meet, he leans in to kiss her she reciprocates and their lips massage each other, she pulls him into her body before pulling away "We shouldn't, it's too soon, I want to but...I don't want to make mistakes"
"Let's just get into bed" he suggests, she nods slowly sliding under the covers on her side of the bed, Peter gets in as well they both lie on their backs staring at the ceiling, she feels him take her hand "I love you, you know that right?"
"I know, I love you too. How have we got here? I feel like we've changed"
"Me too" he admits glancing to her briefly before staring at the ceiling again "I don't know how we got here love, I just want to try and fix us, we're meant to be together you and me and no ones going to tear us apart, not a stupid mistake"
"Why didn't you speak to me then?"
"Pride" he admits, she bites her lip forcing her eyes shut as she tries to control her emotions "Not wanting to seem weak in front of you, I should have spoken to you, I know that now"
"We're meant to be at that meeting" she states glancing to Peter who glances back at her, he shakes his head the fear very prevalent in his eyes "Oh baby, I'm sorry, I just...come here" she whispers bringing him into her body and cradling his head against her chest and hushing him gently as he sobs "It's ok to show emotions, you're not weak, never in my eyes, never"
"I feel it though"
"It's just a bump in the road" she reassures him breathing in the scent of his hair raking her fingers through it gently to calm him "We'll get through it together, look at me," she says and he looks up at her "I love you more than the world, more than I love myself most of the time"
"I don't know how" he admits "All I seem to do is drain you, hurt you when I lash out the way you couldn't look at me back then, I never ever want to make you feel like that again"
"Peter I understand" she smiles at him, he leans up to kiss her cupping the back of her head as they kiss, she pulls away "It was a mistake lets just start again ok, we can do this, I love you so much and I'm not throwing this away, you're going to get better, we're going to learn to trust each other as well as ourselves again then we will be happy, together" she states firmly as his lips mould onto hers she reciprocates with equal passion, both of them moaning into their kiss, she rolls on top of him
They continue to kiss, his hands skimming up the old shirt she had on which was covering her body, they trail up her back and back down again gripping the fabric, she pulls away to allow him to remove it from her body. Their mouths reunite and they moan together making sure that they both give out on the passion, they both craved the love, they had both been craving it for so long, to feel loved by one another. He rolls her over onto her back and she removes his boxers which he had on. Carla throws her legs around his middle, their lips still connecting in a passionate dance none of them could comprehend, she feels him rub his length against her knickers until he takes the opportunity to remove them.
She cups his face in her hands for confirmation and he pushes into her causing a loud moan. He begins to thrust into her, kissing her chest, kissing her neck, and making her feel the love he should have provided her with all this time. Her hands were raking through his hair tugging at it to spur him on, to make him do something, to make him make her release.
Peter was whispering in her ear, feeling her back arch as his fingers skim up her sides, her body pressing into his, he doesn't lose his rhythm wanting to prolong it as long as possible even though the both of them should be resting. He hears her whimper which meant she was lost and that she was about to lose her bearings. Her knuckles were white as they gripped onto the bedsheets, she felt her stomach tense and her back arch more prominently. He heard her let out a loud moan as she released, her body weakening ever so slightly as she mumbles something causing him to capture her lips in his; his thighs shuddered and he released as well, collapsing onto her sweaty body, he cups her right jaw and looks up at her whilst he slides out of her.
"I'm sorry" she lets out a strained sob, he hushes her gently and finds the strength to shuffle up the bed and hold her close to him
"Don't" he whispers kissing her on the forehead, she grasps his body and holds him as he holds her as well "Let's not talk about it anymore, let's move on now"