24th February 2021: You Belong With Me

Deceit was something that always made a relationship suffer as well as trust. Having the ability to trust someone after an act of deceit would always be difficult but they really had managed to get past it so they thought. Trust was another thing, neither of them could bring each other to trust one another and as a result, the relationship crumbled right there and then with both parties trying not to be suspicious or paranoid of each other. It was Peter with the bottle and Carla with Lucas, that was the basis of this entire operation and neither of them knew how to make the situation believable to one another that nothing was going on in both respects.

If he had the energy he would have punched Lucas' smug face but the reality was energy was so hard to find nowadays. His body was deteriorating and that was something that couldnt be changed right now. Yes, he was getting better but there was upset and heartache which he was inflicting onto Carla. Why wouldn't she swap him out for Lucas when he was literally at death's door, have someone who appreciates her and worships the ground hse walks on. He felt bad as he couldnt provide that for her now as his life had become a self-pity loathing mess. He should have forgiven her for Adam soon then maybe, just maybe, he wouldnt be in this position now fighting for a life which he wanted to spend with her.

He had to question whether he wanted to spend it with her though because when it was good there was nothing comparable. Yes, they were going through a rough patch but he wanted her because he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her no matter how long or short that was. He wanted her there by his side through the ups and the downs, through the good times and bad, he wanted her to be his one and only but he couldnt help let the doubt seep into his body and that made him scared. The fear of having to go through the future alone without her there was too scary to even think about.

Peter decided to leave her to it, she wanted to continue the conversation later but he was unsure especially with the uncertainty it held. The uncertainty of her relationship with him looming over them both especially with Lucas lurking around trying to get into her head. If he was strong enough he would have fought to keep her but all of a sudden he felt so weak a shadow of his former self.

Peter heard the door go and the anxiety crept in, Carla entered the room slinging her bag down on the ground, he got up to leave the room and go upstairs causing her to jump up and stand in front of him as if to say he wasnt going anywhere.

"What happened to speaking?"

"Fine" he huffs sitting down in his das armchair determined to sulk about the entire thing, she raises her eyebrows and leans forward

"What did you hear then?"

"I know exactly what you said"

"All of it because I dont think you did" she chuckles slightly shaking her head knowing he wouldn't have this reaction if he heard everything that was said "This is what happens when you dont trust me, Peter. Lucas wanted me to go with him back then and I didnt, I stayed with you because I love you because this felt right. Yesterday, I wasnt at the hotel I was with Jenny-"

"Were you though, Lucas seemed rather keen-"

"Go and ask her, or Daisy, go on go and ask her see what she says because she will back me up" Carla states "And the reason I was weird on the phone was because I was drunk ok and I didnt want to throw temptation in your way. Admittedly I was wrong in doing that and I should have been honest but with everything that was going on with you and...I was trying to protect you"

"By making me suspicious?"

"I'm sorry for that, Daisy made me speak to you, she answered my call I was going to ignore it but I was forced into it as she chucked the phone my way"

"And the conversation you had with Lucas...?"

"I said that you were my soul mate, yes we've had our tough times, our ups and downs, one minute we're together and the next we're not but the love I have for you and the love you have for me is something I want and need for the future Peter, I know you love me and I love you with all of my heart and I dont want anything to get in the way of that because I want that so much. I denied Lucas because I love you, twice he's tried to get me to see sense about my relationship with you, twice, but I wasnt interested do you want to know why? Because I love you, Peter, so much and I want to help you get better so we can live our future together, the future we should have had all those years ago and if you had stuck around long enough to hear all that then maybe you would think the same"

"Instead I pushed you away and blamed you" he whispers in realisation, Carla nods sadly

"And you're allowed to because I understand that you dont trust me with what happened with Adam but I want to earn that trust back just like you earned your trust with me back when you saved me, Peter, I want to do the same and I want to help you through whatever happens. I want to be there for you, please let me be there for you"

"I want you here" he smiles as she nods in response "I'm sorry I didnt trust you"

"I understand," she says as Peter nods in response gesturing for her to come and sit on his lap which she does wrapping her arms around his neck "We need to start communicating otherwise this is going to fail again and I can't let that happen, I really cant"

"Me neither, I love you so much Carla, I really do and I want this to work," he says nuzzling his face into her neck, she kisses him on the top of the head

"I'm sorry, for everything," she says cradling his head in her hands, he smiles slightly knowing that she was really sorry about the whole thing "I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could spend some time together?"

"Dont you have to work?"

"No I have the day off, Sarah's going to take over tomorrow" she smiles slightly as Peter nods eagerly "I love you, Peter, I really do and I dont want anything or anyone else apart from you. You're my future thats if you want me to be"

"I want you in my life baby, I want you so much and I think that this would be a good time to reconnect and ground ourselves...you know just be us, let's get away from the street, let's go somewhere I dont care where but just anywhere away from here, just you and me, just us..."

"That sounds perfect" she whispers resting her forehead against his, he gently kisses her on the lips "It'll get you away from that jigsaw-"

"Oi!" he chastises, she grins cheekily "Enough with the judgement, it's something fun to do whilst I'm in here and you're out there slaving away"

"I know you do, it's just I never thought I'd see the day you would be sitting down and doing a puzzle"

"We could always do it together tomorrow" he smirks knowing the reaction he would get, she just wrinkles her nose before biting her lip

"We can if you want, your decision and whatever you want I will go along with" she smiles resting her head on his shoulder, "I think we'll be just fine from now on you know"

"Me too love, me too"