Originally Published: April 1, 2021
Last Edited: April 5, 2022
Chapter 12
Regret
Monday, August 7, 1911
"I'm so glad you made it, Roy! If you couldn't be here, I don't know what I'd do with myself! You know how gorgeous Gracia is? Well, our darling little girl is just as stunning!"
Roy cringed as Hughes' arm swung around his shoulders, the taller man leaning on him with an excited energy, despite the bags under his eyes. Accepting his fate, Roy grumbled, "You'd think being up all night would wear you out, not give you more energy."
"Oh, I'm at least five cups of coffee in. Hello, Lieutenant Hawkeye! I'm glad you could make it too," Maes grinned, waving at Riza.
She blinked, holding a wrapped gift box in her hands. She stood several feet back, dressed in her civvies like Roy was. "Thank you, Major Hughes," she offered formally. Roy could sense her hesitance and discomfort, Riza having only come along because he'd invited her. Beyond enjoying her company, he'd given the invitation as a buffer for the excitement Hughes had displayed over the phone at three in the morning when giving Roy the news of his daughter's birth.
Taking the first train after Roy had called off of work (it was Riza's day off anyways), they'd reached Central around noon. If Riza hadn't remembered and reminded him of bringing a gift, they both would have come empty handed to the hospital. While Riza had gotten some more practical items from a baby shop (or whatever the hell it was called), Roy had visited a florist for a congratulatory bouquet of pink and white with roses, carnations, and daisies. The florist had seemed surprised and impressed as Roy listed the reasons for each flower: Pink Roses representing grace in honor of Gracia. Daisies as a celebration of new life and purity of the baby. Pink carnations for the mother's love. White carnations for good luck.
And a single Amaryllis for Riza.
"What's this for?" she'd asked as he'd offered it over to her, the petals matching the bouquet, a blend of pink and white.
"Thanks- for dropping everything today and coming with me. I know you probably had things to do, and you don't exactly feel comfortable around Hughes, but I appreciate it- Lieutenant."
She hesitantly took the flower, a gentleness to her expression as she brushed the petals with her fingertips. "Thank you, Sir. And- I don't mind Major Hughes. He's a good man."
"But- you always seem uncomfortable around him?"
Riza met his gaze, honey brown eyes catching his breath for a brief second. "The same way you're uncomfortable around Rebecca?"
Her words hit him, making more sense than he'd like to admit. "I see your point," he mumbled.
The single flower poked out of Riza's purse now, petals decorating the brown bag simply.
"Of course, it's always a delight to see you," Hughes offered Riza a smile, squeezing Roy's shoulders. "Well, don't just stand there! I have to introduce you to my little girl," he urged as he steered Roy physically, guiding them with quick steps down the hospital halls.
Riza followed a few steps behind them as Maes leaned down to whisper in Roy's ear. "You sure are a glutton for punishment, inviting her here. Any luck?"
Roy forced Hughes away, careful with the bouquet as he straightened his collar. "I don't know what you're talking about. Now just show me your baby so I can go back home already."
Despite his denial, Roy knew exactly what Hughes had meant. Maes had made the suggestion that Roy should try to convince Riza to retire so he could marry her like he'd wanted to years ago. Roy wasn't one to trample her own choices though- and that night still stood between them like an abyss. Mostly ignored, but ever present.
Hughes laughed with Roy's response, head knocking back. "Same as ever, I see. How do you deal with him, Lieutenant? I hope he wasn't too unpleasant on the train ride here."
"Not at all, Sir," Riza answered simply.
"Well, that's good to hear. Roy, I forgot to tell you, the baby is six pounds eleven ounces. That's nearly seven pounds of complete perfection! I can't wait for you to meet her!"
Roy grimaced, wondering why that mattered. A baby was a baby, who cared how many ounces it weighed?
"I assume both mother and baby are doing well?" Riza asked.
"Oh, yes! The Doctor says they're doing wonderful. The baby stopped crying when they let Gracia hold her, and after feeding, she fell asleep almost right away. She's been sleeping a lot since then, and Gracia's been resting too."
Riza hesitated, steps slowing behind them. Maes turned himself and Roy around to look back at her, "What is it Lieutenant?" Maes chirped.
"If they're both resting, perhaps we shouldn't interrupt them."
"Nonsense! Gracia has been looking forward to your visit and she'd be devastated if you didn't after traveling so far."
"We won't be long, Lieutenant. Ten minutes or so," Roy promised, hoping it would satisfy both of his dearest friends.
"Ten minutes?" Maes choked, "You came all this way for ten minutes?"
"We both have work tomorrow, Hughes. We need to be back on the train in an hour or two," Roy replied flatly.
"Then stay an hour! I haven't seen you properly in months!"
Roy sighed, glancing back at Riza to see that familiar, stoic mask covering her expression. Though he found her beauty constant, he wasn't very fond of that look- it usually meant she was hiding unpleasant feelings.
"Thirty minutes max, Hughes. Lieutenant Hawkeye is right. Gracia and the baby likely need their rest."
"Well, then stop wasting our time in the hall. I need to introduce you to my daughter," Hughes snapped, his glasses flashing as he let go of Roy, marching down the hall at a quick pace. Roy glanced back at Riza again before following after his friend, Riza naturally falling into place two steps behind and to his left. It didn't take them long to reach a cracked open door, the temporary name plaque labeled 'Hughes'.
"Give me a second to check in on them," Hughes whispered, slipping inside and easing the door mostly shut again.
Left alone in the hall with Riza, Roy softly cleared his throat, reaching up to check his collar and pull the top button away from his neck. Riza gave a quiet chuckle, drawing his eyes. Her lengthening hair was now long enough to curl at her jaw, framing her face in a strange mix of attractive yet awkward length. He hadn't ever dared to ask her why she'd decided to start growing it out over the last few months. He didn't want to bring unnecessary attention to her physical appearance.
"What is it?"
"She's an infant, Sir. I don't think she'll remember how you look."
"My aunt always told me first impressions mattered. Besides, I'll likely be seeing her on and off throughout her entire life. I'd like to make it a good one."
"If you insist, Sir. I won't tell Major Hughes you're trying to impress his daughter."
Roy scowled with that, "You make that sound perverted. I'm not trying to 'impress' his infant daughter, Lieutenant."
"Then the nurses?" there was a touch too much bite to her words, making the tease more into an accusation.
His eyes widened, shock coursing through him. "You sure are a glutton for punishment, inviting her here." Hughes' words echoed back to him.
He opened his mouth to respond as the door suddenly opened, Maes stepping out with a broad grin, "Come in! Come in!"
Confrontation left unresolved, Hughes grabbed both of them by the arms, pulling them into the small hospital room. Gracia's bed was lifted up, leaving her in a reclined position with an infant (swaddled in a fluffy pink blanket) held to her plunging neckline.
"Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Hawkeye, it's lovely to see you both," Gracia greeted. If Hughes looked tired, his wife looked exhausted, skin paler than usual, bags under her eyes, and hair plastered to her forehead from now dried sweat. Somehow she managed a worn smile, eyes beaming at the sight of them.
"Mrs. Hughes," Roy greeted awkwardly.
"Please, it's just Gracia. Come in. Are those flowers and that gift for us?"
Roy stepped forward, lifting the bouquet for her viewing. She brightened further at the sight of the arrangement. "Oh, they're lovely. You got the roses for me, I see. Please, put them there, I'll ask one of the nurses for a vase," she nodded towards a nightstand cluttered with cards and opened gifts, likely from local family and friends who'd come by that morning.
Roy carefully arranged the clutter so the flowers wouldn't knock anything over, sensing Gracia's gaze leaving him. "Miss Riza, please come in. I'm so glad you could make it. When Maes told me he forgot to invite you, I was so disappointed. Thank you, Roy, for bringing her along."
Roy glanced towards the new mother, her expression genuine and warm as she shifted the infant on her bosom, causing the pink lump of a baby to coo softly.
"Thank you- Gracia," Riza answered, stepping further in.
"Oh, Maes, could you bother the nurses for more chairs so you can all sit down?" Gracia broached, her smile weary.
"What? They stole them again!" Hughes exclaimed, lifting a hand to the back of his neck.
"I'm afraid so. Riza, come sit down while he gets the other seats back."
"I'll go with you," Roy offered, following Maes quickly back into the hall, grateful to be free from the awkward tension between him and his subordinate.
"What happened? I left you two alone for less than a minute?" Hughes demanded in a whisper, leading the way.
"I'm not sure. This happens sometimes. What did you mean when you said I was a glutton for punishment? Gracia seems happy she's here."
"Well," Hughes hesitated, glancing back over his shoulder as he paused in the hall. "Lieutenant Hawkeye just- strikes me as a- woman who wanted something different in her life. Between her connection with you and some of the things she said back when- well, the Kimblee incident... She might not thank you for bringing her here."
With the reminder of that night, Roy stiffened, anger towards the insane, murderous alchemist now locked behind bars suddenly refreshed in his mind. Imprisonment was better than that scum deserved, but at least he couldn't hurt Riza there.
He heard his knuckles crack as his fists subconsciously tightened, his eyes not leaving Maes. "Different how?"
Hughes shrugged nonchalantly, continuing toward the nearby nurses' desk. "I don't know. Maybe you should get yourself a wife, Roy. Have a kid of your own. Hey, could we get two extra chairs again? We just keep getting visitors today! Everyone wants to see my precious daughter and perfect wife! I can't say I blame them!"
Roy glanced down at Maes' not so subtle suggestion. Yes, he had wanted a family with Riza, but the idea that she might want one herself had never crossed his mind before.
"We have to talk."
"Talk? You want to talk? Alright Riza, here's what I have to say: This didn't happen."
"Yo, Roy! Are you carrying this other chair?" Maes called, drawing his attention back to the present.
Taking the chair, he followed Hughes back to the room, stepping in mid conversation. "... Come on, Riza. You won't break her. Everyone deserves to know what it's like to hold a baby."
Gracia held the pink baby and blanket out to Riza, the other woman looking hesitant at the offer. "I-if you're sure..." Riza carefully reached out, Gracia easing her burden into Riza's arms.
Roy froze in the doorway, an electric tingle running through his spine and down to his fingers, toes, and up to the crown of his head. Riza settled back in her seat, cradling the bundle in her arms, bangs falling into her eye as she eased the blanket away from the baby's face. A gentle look flooded her expression as she pulled the baby to her breasts, her pink lips parting ever so slightly in subtle awe.
"Make sure you support her neck," Gracia reminded gently.
"Isn't she perfect, Lieutenant!" Maes interrupted, abandoning his chair and rushing to her side. "Is she awake? Hi darling, your daddy's here. This is your Auntie Riza. She's a very sweet lady. A perfect role model for my sweet, independent, little miss."
"Auntie? Oh, no, I couldn't, Sir," Riza denied, instantly trying to pass the baby off to Maes.
He took it in turn, sweeping the baby from Riza's arms and holding her close. Roy didn't miss the brief flash of regret in Riza's eyes, her expression quickly clearing as she turned her face away.
"Maes, gently. You might squish her," Gracia reminded, the Hugheses clearly missing Riza's reaction.
"Roy," Hughes spun towards him, walking over briskly and practically shoving the infant into his arms. He scrambled to hold the bundle, clumsily mimicking the way everyone else had cradled her. "Meet my daughter. Gracia and I agreed, we'd like to ask you to be her godfather."
Fumbling to hold the baby correctly, a surprised, "What!" came from his lips unbidden. "I don't know the first thing about kids. Why me?"
Maes' face flooded with chagrin, his nose dipping so he could look at Roy over the rim of his glasses. "You're my best friend, Roy. And as much as I don't want anything bad to happen to me, after Ishval, I can't just ignore the fact that, in our line of work, I might find an early grave."
Roy blinked, Maes devotion to living for his wife returning to his mind. He glanced towards the two women, Gracia giving a sympathetic smile, pain in her eyes, Riza's expression grave.
"If that were to happen, I want you to teach her why I did it. I want you to tell her I did it for her. She'll believe it from another Military Officer. Roy, this- this is what I ask for- in return for my support."
Roy turned his focus back to Maes, his words sinking in. He grimaced, settling into the inevitable. "Well, can I at least know my goddaughter's name? You haven't told me yet."
Maes smiled, turning back to his wife. "Have you decided which, yet?"
Gracia's expression warmed, "Well, I'd better do so before they leave. Perhaps you can help me decide, Riza?"
"Me?" Riza visibly started, chestnut eyes wide.
"We've narrowed it down to two names. Just give your opinion, that's all. We're trying to decide between Claire and Elicia."
Riza turned her attention to Roy, or more appropriately, the baby held awkwardly in his arms. She stood, coming over to look back down at the infant, her proximity making his skin tingle.
"I think Elicia Hughes sounds better. Don't you, Sir?" she glanced up at him, her big, hazel eyes taking far too much of his attention.
Dumbly, he nodded, "Right. It sounds great."
"I think so too. How about it, Maes? Should we tell the Doctor so he can sign the birth certificate?" Gracia smiled.
Roy turned his gaze to his friend, finding tears welling up in his olive eyes. "Right... Elicia."
Sunday, September 15, 1918
"We forgot the condom."
Her words hung in the air, fear prickling across his skin, his heart racing against his ribs. He'd realized the mistake back in the bathroom, but now it was out in the air, adrenaline rushed through his veins.
Without thought, he crossed over to her, pulling her tightly into his arms. She was stiff in his embrace, but she clung to him in return, a tense silence between them.
"Roy," her voice cracked slightly, her face right next to his ear. "Did you..."
He closed his eyes tightly, squeezing her harder. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" her voice sounded like she was unraveling, clearly unnerved. "What do you mean, maybe?"
He pulled away, holding her at arms length as he caught her gaze, her wide, amber eyes seeking answers. "I didn't climax, but that doesn't mean I didn't... I don't know."
She exhaled, shoulders sagging as she looked away, worry creasing her face. Her eyes began to flicker, like she was reading some unseen page. "The second... It's the fifteenth. I'm probably ovulating," she pulled away, visibly wincing as she moved.
"Riza..." Roy began, a crushing weight added to him with her words.
"Does your aunt know of any contraceptives? She runs a brothel, surely this is a normal problem for her," she settled on the edge of the bed, her legs noticeably apart; she usually sat with her knees together, ever prim and proper as Ms. Kent had taught her in their youth.
"I- she says the best contraceptive is a condom..."
A nerve near her temple spasmed with his words, her expression clearly turning pissed. "You think I don't know that, Roy Mustang?" she snapped. "Of course a damn condom is the best form of birth control, but it's a bit late for that, don't you think?"
She pushed herself up to her feet, snatching her robe from the bed and shrugging it back on. "Riza, I'm sorry. I had a condom in my flannels' pocket. With Jean and Rebecca I didn't think to move it."
She paused halfway through tying her robe, looking up at him again. "Why are you apologizing? We both forgot about it."
He gently took a hold of her elbow, stepping closer. "But it was my responsibility."
"And how many years have I kept you in line?" He had no answer to that. It was wrong and he knew it, but Riza clearly didn't want to see it that way. "I'm going to call Chris," she announced, attention turning back to tying her robe.
"No," his voice cracked, mind racing with the thought of his aunt knowing what he'd done. How he'd already fucked this up- again. "No, this isn't a conversation for the phone, especially my line. I haven't had Fuery check to see if I'm bugged yet. Go take a bath and have some breakfast. I'll go to the Bar and talk with her."
And by 'her', he meant Vanessa or Madeline. If he could keep this from Madame Christmas, it was more likely that he'd be able to keep his balls.
"I should go with you," she determined.
"And if you're seen with me?" His question visibly crumpled her resolve, her expression faltering as she looked away. "Besides, I'd rather know you're resting. If you aren't feeling better by tomorrow, someone might notice..."
"Notice what?" she snapped.
"I don't know, you sitting gingerly or wincing," he tried disarmingly.
"Fine," she pulled from his grasp again, "but this problem belongs to both of us. You don't get to decide what I try, we do. Just come back with my options and we'll discuss them."
She left him there, heading into the bathroom. The door shut, Roy sighing in her absence. Running a hand through his hair, he collected his clothes from the bed, swiftly fixing the sheets to avoid any further ire from his adjunct.
He crossed the hall to his own room, tossing his laundry in the hamper before getting dressed for the day. Dress slacks and shirt almost felt like coming home to himself, more comfortable than his uniform. Buttoning up his shirt, he realized he hadn't had the chance to shave, stubble scratching at his collar and making him itch. He grimaced, not wanting to interrupt Riza as he'd clearly been uninvited from the bathroom when she'd shut the door. He could go a day without shaving. The irritation could certainly be a form of self punishment for his brazen mistake.
Collecting his pocket assortments, he hesitated on his ignition gloves, his focus turning to the twin scars on both of his hands. He couldn't see a need for them today, but if Riza found out he went around without some form of defense, she'd likely be even more angry.
The sound of the tub draining spurred him into a decision. He grabbed them, pulling them on as he swiftly descended the stairs.
Hayate sat near the front door, dark eyes wide as his attention turned to Roy. He paused, a flash of insecurity hitting him. They'd had sex with the door open- and Hayate downstairs. What if he'd come to investigate? No, it wouldn't have been the worst case scenario, but Roy made a mental note to be more careful in the future. Wear a condom, close the door. Simple things, really, and he kept fucking them up today.
Hayate whined, shifting his muzzle towards the door. "Fine, you can come with me. But we're skipping breakfast," Roy moved to grab Hayate's leash, the Second Lieutenant being perfectly behaved as he stayed sitting near the door, waiting for Roy to clip the leash on.
Upstairs, the bathroom door opened, Riza's steps moving across the floorboards. Frowning, he hesitated. Why wasn't she bathing?
Shaking his head dismissively, he turned and opened the door, he and Hayate stepping out into the light drizzle falling from the overcast sky. Cringing slightly, Roy swiftly pulled off his gloves as he instantly turned back inside, shoulders hunched. Hayate resisted the change in direction, tugging on the leash briefly before following Roy back in. Roy moved to the mud closet, hastily taking out his trench coat and pulling it on, grumbling under his breath. It hadn't been raining when Havoc and Catalina had shown up, why was it now?
Tucking his ignition gloves into his coat pockets, he pulled out a blank pair, slipping them on and grabbing an umbrella before heading back out. Locking the door, Roy climbed down the porch stairs behind Hayate, who swiftly sidestepped, lifting his leg over a bush. Sighing, he waited for him to take care of his business, noting a couple huddled under an umbrella walking by.
He watched them, arm in arm, whispering conspiratorially with warm smiles. Regret washed over him at the sight. This should be a happy morning. He should be doting on his lover, not frantically hurrying through the rain to see if his aunt had some form of miracle contraceptive to undo his mistake. Damn Riza, it was his mistake. His responsibility. She wasn't completely responsible for him. Never had been. Never could be.
The door opened behind him, Roy turning to find Riza tugging her coat on, locking the door behind her. She stepped down from the porch, joining him and Hayate. Roy instinctively held the umbrella out to cover her.
"Good, I didn't miss you," her eyes flickered up to the umbrella, silently acknowledging it.
"We talked about this," he reproached cautiously.
"I'm coming, Sir. Would you like me to drive?" her tone was practical and stiff, leaving no room for disagreement.
"I've got it," he reassured, pulling out his keys and beginning to move towards his car in the driveway. He opened Riza's door, glancing around cautiously for any observers as he passed Hayate's leash over. With his passengers inside, he quickly rounded to the driver's side and climbed in, pausing to close his umbrella before snapping the door shut. Silently he started the car, pulling out of his driveway.
The drizzle outside began coming faster, Roy turning on his windshield wipers, the methodical sound of rubber against glass filling the space between them.
"I'm not mad at you," Riza finally announced.
"What makes you think I believed you were?" he asked cautiously, feeling like he was walking barefoot on broken eggshells.
"You made the guest bed," she replied. He glanced left towards her, her arms folded under her breasts, her legs apart under the fabric of her flowy skirt.
"You're not the only one who went through the Academy, Captain," he reminded, turning his focus back to the road.
"You didn't make the master bed," she added to her argument.
Roy didn't bother refuting her claim further. "So why aren't you mad? I fucked up again, just like ten years ago."
"What does this have in common with then?"
"Everything."
"I don't see how it does. We're being open about our feelings. We had sex. Are you- are you planning to push me away again?" the sudden insecurity in her voice was plain.
"No! Hell no! I- I couldn't do that. Nor do I want to. I've worked too hard to get here," he smacked the steering wheel in frustration.
"Then what do you mean?"
"I- I know I said I didn't know if I came, but- I think I did. I haven't had sex in years, Riza, and when it comes to you, I lose control. That's what I meant about that night."
"I'm not following."
He exhaled in a huff, an embarrassed heat creeping up his cheeks. He hadn't told anyone about it, not his aunt, not Hughes (not that he'd told Hughes about that night at all). To admit it to Riza after all these years sent anxiety through his veins, his grip tightening on the wheel.
"Roy?"
"The reason I stopped kissing you that night... I came early, Ri. No penetration, no skin contact, and I came in my pants because I was too damn excited about what was happening." He tensed, half expecting her to laugh at him, half expecting her to scoff at how pathetic he'd been.
She did neither. Instead her hand gently rested in his knee. He jerked the steering wheel with her touch, spinning to look at her.
"Roy, the road!"
Swerving, he focused back ahead of him, returning to his lane as another car honked at him and his wild driving. Her grip on his knee had tightened, Hayate whining at the unexpected action.
"Maybe it's best if you don't touch me while driving," he suggested. He regretted it the moment she let go, hand pulling back.
"I climaxed too, Roy."
He twitched, struggling to not turn and gape at her. "What?"
"On the couch. Right before you got off of me, I orgasmed. No skin, no penetration."
"You- were capable of that?"
"Why wouldn't I have been?"
"Because I'd just burned half of your back!" he barked.
She chuckled, the sound unexpected and beautiful, though Roy had no clue what had humored her. "So you think you ejaculated?" she asked, voice growing sober.
"I don't know. There was a high, but- really, it might have just been pre-cum. Not that that's exactly safe either."
"We should talk about what we'll do if..."
"Riza- can we leave that conversation to 'if'? If it happens, of course we'll talk about it, but right now isn't the time." She gave no answer to that, Roy glancing over to see her stroking Hayate behind the ears, her expression muted. "Ri?"
"Your aunt will probably want to know. I'm just trying to prepare us. You."
His grip tightened on the steering wheel, bracing himself for the uncomfortable conversation ahead. "Do you want kids? With me," he asked, voice straining.
"Do we even deserve that?" she countered, her voice passionless.
"That's not what I asked. I want to know if you want them."
"I- I don't let myself want things, Roy. I don't deserve that luxury."
He glanced back at her, hand still resting on Hayate's head, but her face turned away from him. "Riza..."
"Maybe you're right. We should save this conversation for later. If."
He turned his eyes back to the road, silence returning between them. Did she want children? What about himself? Admittedly, he hadn't dwelled on the concept much before. Sure, when he'd first been thinking about courting her while he was in the Academy, the idea had been there, but it had seemed more like a given at the time. Get married in their early twenties, have kids, raise their family as Roy followed the footsteps of his own father.
There was so much more at stake now. Reaching full rank before he turned thirty-three had been quite an achievement, certainly. But Ishval had happened. Riza's question about deserving kids felt valid. He'd killed so many. Men, women, children, families. It didn't matter that the Ishvalan Council had formally absolved both of them of their war crimes. No. They'd still murdered innocents. He had murdered.
Amestris had come first ever since. The Fuhrer's chair was just a tool to make things right in the future. To prevent further tragedy.
But what did he want?
The memory of Riza holding an infant Elicia came floating to his mind. Her tender expression directed to the babe in her arms, pressed caringly to her bosom. The brief flash of awe and the following hint of regret when Hughes had taken his daughter back so abruptly.
Roy had held Elicia longer than Riza had, an honor as a godfather. A deep part of him wished he'd had longer to see Riza with her.
"I need to call Gracia," he murmured, guilt tumbling in his chest. He'd been shirking on his duties as her godfather. He would send Elicia presents on her birthday and for Winter Solstice, and call every few months. But the pain of loss overwhelmed him every time he was around his best friend's family. He needed to do better. For them. For Hughes.
"When was the last time you did?"
Roy felt a grim weight pressing in on him with the question. "The anniversary," he whispered roughly.
Four years. He avoided dwelling on it. Avoided thinking about that night.
"Permission to hold your hand, Sir?"
He inhaled sharply, removing a hand from the steering wheel and reaching for her. She grabbed it instantly, easing his blank glove off and entwining her chilled fingers with his warmer ones, her thumb softly caressing his scar.
He tightened his grip on her, giving his grief a moment to be felt and processed. Just a moment.
Then he let it go, exhaling heavily as his aunt's bar came into sight. He squeezed her hand once more before pulling away, putting both hands on the wheel as he parked. Cutting the engine, he glanced over, accepting his glove back from her.
"Thanks," he murmured, grabbing the umbrella again.
"I'm just- glad I can," she answered. He glanced up to see a shy blush on her cheeks as she averted her gaze.
A soft smile touched his lips, the desire to kiss her cheek flooding him. He resisted as a woman walked in front of the car on the sidewalk. Now wasn't the time nor place, though he made a mental note to follow through at the first opportunity.
He climbed out of the car, hiding from the rain under the umbrella as he rounded the car to get the door for Riza. He caught a wince crossing her face as she climbed out, keeping a respectful distance from him while still seeking shelter under the umbrella. Hayate on the other hand panted happily as he walked under the rain, tail wagging as they quickly crossed the sidewalk and reached the door. He pulled it open for her, letting her step in first before following. He shook and closed the umbrella, the familiar scent of alcohol and Chris' favorite cigarettes replacing the rain instantly.
It smelled like home.
A single woman stood behind the bar, cigarette between her lips as she slowly pushed herself up from leaning on the counter. Her green eyes narrowed at the sight of Riza, her golden curls framing her face and figure halfway down her back.
"Roy. Who's this? Another girl for the Bar?" Annette asked, her lips turned slightly downward.
"Two peppermint whiskeys, if you please," Roy requested cordially, putting his umbrella in the stand before shrugging off his coat to hang on a peg.
"Sorry, we're fresh out," Annette clipped.
Roy glanced back at her as Riza took off her own coat. Scanning the room, he allowed a scowl to cross his face when he saw they were alone. "When will she be back?"
"Next week."
"Week?" Roy hissed, halfway crossing the room towards the bar, "Where is she?"
She pouted at his harsh tone, green eyes widening as she popped her hip to one side, "The Madame runs and manages two locations, Handsome. She switches off every week, staff rotations and the likes. You don't honestly expect her to close down her Central City location after you so generously donated the funds for the rebuilding."
He grew silent. Already tense, he felt himself grow more so. "Who's managing this bar this week?"
She sighed, "You never want to talk to just me. I take offense, Handsome. Do you not like me? The way you looked at me when we first met made me think you might actually like a bite."
He felt his face heat, growing much too aware of Riza standing behind him. "I've told you before, I'll tell you again: I. Was. Drunk. Now, please tell me who's managing this week."
She turned her green eyes to Riza, critically looking her up and down. She gave an unimpressed 'tch' before turning her focus back to Roy. "Come on, Charming. If you'll sleep with this minger, surely you can give me the time of day."
He stiffened, white hot furry flashing through him. Minger? Riza Hawkeye was naturally fifty times the beauty that Annette had to try so hard to pull off.
"Roy? Elizabeth?" Roy pivoted to find Vanessa descending the stairs, barefooted and her make-up only half done. "What are you doing here?" her gaze flickered to Riza with the question.
"We need to talk with you- in private," Roy snapped, abandoning Annette and moving towards the stairs.
"Elizabeth...?" Annette murmured, her face darkening.
Roy instantly diverted his steps to join Riza, who was watching Annette and her growing hostility with a tense caution. He took her hand, squeezing it as he guided her swiftly to the stairs. Vanessa's stormy blue eyes glanced between them and the woman at the bar, a worried pinch between her brows before she spun on the stairs, holding her skirt up as she rushed up the steps.
He felt Riza look back, her arm twisting slightly until they leveled out on the landing. Vanessa pulled out a key to unlock his aunt's private room before leading the way inside. She snapped the door shut behind them, fastening the lock swiftly.
"You're supposed to call ahead," Vanessa scolded, turning on him. "You know how possessive she gets. Especially now she knows who she is," she nodded towards Riza briskly.
"Who was that?" Riza asked stiffly, her eyes narrowing.
"Annette. Unfortunately she's our only informant who specializes in Aurego, or we would have gotten rid of her the moment she started stalking Roy nine years ago."
"Stalking?" Riza's intelligent hazel gaze shifted to Roy. "And you didn't think it important to inform your bodyguard about that?"
He cringed slightly, "I didn't want to bring it up. Our relationship was so strained at the time, I was afraid it would only make things worse."
"Once the Madame opened her second location, she made it a point to keep Annette assigned to the city Roy wasn't in. She currently has an active client in East City, which is why she hasn't been transferred yet. Once their business is done, she'll be back out of your hair again, Roy."
"The sooner the better," Roy growled.
"Putting that aside, what can I do for you? Sorry the Madame isn't here, she left for Central about two hours ago."
They both grew quiet, Roy glancing at Riza, silently deferring to her. She finally pulled her hand from Roy's, taking Hayate's leash in both hands as she looked away from him, her gaze glancing around the expensive décor of his aunt's bedroom.
"Is this one of..." her gaze focused on the plush, four poster, king sized bed.
"Here? Oh, no, this is Chris' room, and she hasn't entertained anyone like that in close to twenty years. Says she outgrew it," Vanessa reassured, moving over to an oversized armchair and sitting gracefully.
"Are you alright with Vanessa knowing? She can likely help us just as well as my aunt could."
Riza pursed her lips ever so slightly, evaluating Vanessa with a brief once over. "Alright," she relented, moving to the bed and gingerly sitting down on the edge, legs slightly parted.
Vanessa sat up instantly, looking between them with quick eyes. "You- you did it. After all of these years, you finally..." The glare from Riza cut her off, her fingers curling into the sheets. A smile grew across Vanessa's face, bright and joyful. "Oh, Roy, I'm so happy for you! Both of you. Really, Chris will be thrilled to find out you decided to stay, Elizabeth."
"Vanessa," Roy prodded, bringing her words to a halt. He slipped his hands into his pockets, eyeing her carefully. "We need some advice."
"Advice? What kind of advice?"
"Contraceptive advice," Roy answered carefully.
"Oh," she stood up instantly, moving over to the dresser and opening a top drawer. "Of course, you know about condoms, but if those cause skin irritation or we have clients who aren't too eager to play it safe, we of course have other options."
She pulled out a box with several miscellaneous items. She took them over to the bed for Riza to mainly look at, a chipper smile on her face. "There's the cervical cap, and the sponge, and then there's spermicide... Most clients don't like that option, but Roy's no coward. If you want something more continuous, there's various styles of IUD's, but where you just lost your virginity, I think that would be really hard on your body. When I started wearing mine, I ached for a while."
"An- IUD?"
"Vanessa, condoms work fine. We're asking about- post sex," Roy corrected, an awkwardness creeping over him as he told her.
Vanessa looked back at him, visibly processing his words for a few seconds. She scowled as realization settled in, marching over to him. "You IDIOT!" She smacked his arm sharply, Roy instinctively pulling back as she kept harmlessly, but quite viciously, smacking at his torso and arms. "Ten fucking years of all of us trying to get you to Fuhrer, and when you get this fucking close, you go and fuck your subordinate without a fucking condom! I know you know how to use one! I know you understand how important protection is! You grew up in a fucking brothel!"
"Nessie, stop. I know. It was an accident. I'll never do it again!" he protested weakly over her shouted scolding, hardly giving it his all because he knew he deserved it.
"I can't believe you! Thinking with your dick instead of your brain. You'll ruin everything!"
"Vanessa, stop!" Riza broke in, suddenly there as she pulled them apart, stepping between Roy and his assailant. "Don't you think we've already beaten ourselves up over it? Don't you think we'll keep doing so until we know if I'm pregnant or not?"
Vanessa huffed, stray, wavy strands of her hair sitting awkwardly on her head. Her furry seemed to subside though, her focus turning properly towards Riza. "Of course you both will," she conceded with a surprising gentleness to her voice.
"Look, we're here to see what can be done about it now. Please- surely you know of something we can use."
Vanessa sighed with Riza's placating words, the fire in her eyes dimming as she brushed a hand through her hair. "I- right. But I'll warn you, it's easier to prevent than undo."
She moved back to the same drawer she'd pulled the birth control tools out of, this time grabbing a smaller box. Her expression was stoic as she guided Riza back to the bed, cleaning up the other box before turning to the new one.
"Madame Christmas doesn't put much stock towards most of these and I have to agree with her." Roy brushed his shirt flat, moving to join them just to receive a stink eye from Vanessa. "Can I kick him out?"
Riza glanced at Roy then back to Vanessa. "I want him here," she whispered, unexpectedly reaching out for him. Hardly one to protest, he closed the distance, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her close, feeling her body relax against him.
Vanessa sighed, "Your prospects aren't pretty. You have two options right now, speculation or overkill."
She pulled out a box of tea bags, some crushed herbs, and some bottles of oil. "Some people swear by these, others believe they only 'work' if the woman was never pregnant to begin with. Supposedly ingesting these herbs, tea, or applying these oils to your cervix will help prevent pregnancy. They're terribly unreliable but they might work."
She reached into the box for a strange looking device. Black metal with two antennae coming off of the base. "This- is your other option. I wouldn't use this unless you miss a period, but you can only use it the first month or two after conception."
"What is it?" Riza murmured.
"It's meant to scrape the lining of your uterus and dislodge anything implanted. I-it can cause infertility. In fact, most of the time it does. So- you have to take that into consideration before resorting to it. The other option is seeing a Doctor about an abortion- which can also lead to infertility."
Riza stiffened more the longer Vanessa spoke, her head turning ever so slightly, cheek pressing against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. There isn't some magic pill to make it go away. I don't know if there's some sort of Alchemy trick you could try," Vanessa suggested, looking at Roy.
He shook his head firmly, squeezing Riza closer. "No, I won't do it. I'm no Medical Alchemist, and this borders too closely to human transmutation."
"You could ask Dr. Marcoh- if you trust him with this," Vanessa suggested, her expression grave.
"Thank you, Vanessa. I'll take the tea," Riza whispered, glancing back up at Roy, "If- that's alright?"
"Riza, it's your body. You try whatever you're comfortable with," he reassured, squeezing her closer. Why she was asking for his permission was beyond him.
"Right," Vanessa whispered, packing up the box again. "I'll get you an unopened box and write down the brewing instructions."
She left the room, closing the door softly behind her and leaving them alone. "Riza, I am so sorry..."
She gasped, turning and pressing her face against his chest, her fists curling into the fabric of his shirt. He clutched to her, holding her close.
It was so- unfair. He was the one at fault and it left her in such a difficult predicament. Abortion, infertility, uncertainty... She didn't need any of those things. He swallowed hard, cradling the back of her head as he gently began rocking her back and forth.
"I won't leave you. No matter what happens, I won't ever leave you again."
"Roy," came from her as a muffled sob. "I-I don't want... I..."
"Shhh, breathe," he whispered, caressing her golden tresses. "I've got you. I've got you."
They stayed like that until the door eased open, Riza instinctively pulling away as Vanessa stepped in, holding a box tied shut with some twine.
"Sorry to interrupt," she murmured, passing the box to Riza.
"Is it- too much to ask that you not mention this to my aunt?" Roy asked.
Vanessa gave him a hesitant look, glancing at Riza then back to him. "You're really asking me to put my neck on the line for that?"
"If Riza does end up pregnant, I want to tell her myself. Just give us a few weeks to find out if."
"Where are you in your cycle?" Vanessa asked Riza, concern in her big eyes.
"I'm ovulating," Riza whispered, brushing her cheek lightly, checking that there were no tear stains.
Vanessa nodded, "I expect to hear in four weeks- if you're late. If you're not, please let me know. If I don't hear anything," she looked back at Roy, expression tinged with a threat. "I will tell Chris."
He gave a humorless chuckle, "Blackmail, Nessie?"
"I'm an informant, Roy. I have my price.
"In the meantime, you should know that your aunt is planning your birthday party. Wednesdays are slow anyways, so we're closing the Bar that night for a private party. If there's anyone in particular you want invited, let me or the Madame know. We of course were already planning for the usual guests."
Roy blinked, blindsided by the change in topic. His birthday? Right, it was September.
A/N: As fantastic as the morning-after pill is, the first ones weren't invented until 1970s. For the purposes of trying to maintain technology accuracy in the world Arakawa created, I've limited myself to technology that existed in the 1920s and 30s. I believe I've made a few exceptions for 1940s technology, but I'm really hesitant to do so. That being said, hormonal contraceptives and the morning-after pill do not exist in this fanfiction. As Vanessa says: "I'm sorry. There isn't some magic pill to make it go away..."
I tried finding information on birth control methods from that time period, and I couldn't find any emergency contraceptive information. I know there was something, reliable or not, so I used a little bit of imagination.
But fun fact: automatic windshield wipers were invented in 1917!
Thank you all for reading!