"So, Lady Blanc," Jack began, stretching his back out whilst he wandered behind the much smaller girl. "What's on the agenda for this meetin'?" Whilst Chaz, Luke, and Josh were ordered into the science labs for inspection (As though any of them weren't basically the same), Jack and James had been told that they would be attending the next summit, which was once again being held in Lowee. Blanc, being Blanc, didn't turn to look at him, and simply carried on shuffling along with her absolutely adorable look of disinterest.
"I think this meeting regards the terms of military usage," she responded quietly, "And whether or not we share technology to ensure an even playing field in the event that the treaty is broken." Momentarily, she stopped, turning to look up at Jack and James as they looked down at her. "As far as military equipment standards go in Lowee, you two are carrying small artillery pieces. Depending on how this meeting goes, you may end up needing to share the technology."
"Try Luke and Josh," Jack whistled, hands in his pockets. "Regardless of what they say, you still have their guns, which are effectively the same as ours."
"Yours are more powerful," Blanc replied. Jack shook his head.
"I'm assumin' it's got summat to do with my level. Last I checked, I was level...?"
"One hundred and eighty three."
"Ah, right. Gone up a bit, then."
James raised his brows in surprise, looking at Jack, who nodded in understanding. "Fuckin' hell, lad, you been grindin'?" His partner just shrugged.
"A bit, maybe. Apparently yellin' at the CPUs when I first arrived raised my level to summat ridiculous."
"Bollocks, I got some catchin' up to do, then..." James trailed off. After a moment, he looked at Blanc. "Lady Blanc, wha-?"
"Fifty seven."
"DAMMIT!" James yelled angrily, stomping his foot slightly as Jack threw his head back and started laughing. "This is bullshit, how many enemies do I need to kill to reach Jack's level?!" Blanc thought for a moment.
"About nineteen thousand, six hundred and thirty eight of the Dogoos you'd find in a low-threat area of a dungeon." Jack was laughing even harder, now, whilst James struggled to find words, instead opting to stare at Blanc in absolute shock. It took a moment for Jack to stop laughing, by which point he had genuine tears in his eyes. He stood up from leaning on the wall, then stumbled over to James, holding his side.
"Hooo...ohhhh...fuckin' hell. Christ, that killed me..." The taller man wagged a finger towards Blanc. "You...you're a right fuckin' comedian, Lady Blanc. You know that, don't ya?" The CPU offered her usual Blanc (Geddit? Blanc? Blank? Christ, you people are fucking impossible) stare back up at him, looking as bored as ever.
"I'm not joking, though," she replied quietly, turning and beginning to shuffle away. "Mr. Loondumb is the fifth highest-level individual in the country that I know of." As she said this, a massive, shit-eating grin appeared as Jack leaned towards James with his usual look of smug cunt-ishness that appeared on his face whenever he did something better than someone. James folded his arms huffily whilst the two trailed along behind. Jack opened his mouth to speak.
"Aaaaaayyyyy-"
"Shut your fuckin' mouth, you over-levelled dickhead."
"Awww, it's OK, James," Jack laughed, taking on a rather mocking voice. "Love you, be mine. Love you, James, be miiine." A smile broke out on James' face.
"Oh, don't start that shit again. Fuckin' trainin', man."
"Be miiine..." Jack laughed, walking straight once again. James sighed, smiling.
"Bollocks to that," he replied casually, "Don't think we've got anythin' to grow up to be. Not even in our twenties, and already out of options."
"Dunno about you, but I bloody well feel old. Look at all the bastards here: Mincin' about with their fancy lasers and magic powers and all that shite. You don't need that; You just need a good, high-power gun." To punctuate, Jack withdrew the .44 Magnum revolver as they followed behind Blanc towards the meeting room, idly spinning the non-metaphorical handcannon around his index finger on the approach. James glanced nervously at it.
"That's...got a safety, ha'n't it?" he asked cautiously, raising a brow. "Wouldn't do any good for the meetin' if you accidentally blew a hole in the wall the size of my dick." Jack grinned at him.
"You'd be surprised to know how small a bullet hole is, then," he responded with his usual smart-arse grin. "Says a lot about your life if your dick's that fuckin' tiny." Blanc let out a 'pfffft' up front, desperately trying to conceal a grin with her hand as she walked. James frowned, and rolled his eyes, whilst Jack whistled, throwing his revolver away and watching it disintegrate into purple energy as it returned to his disk.
The trio entered the room as expected; Already present were Noire, Vert, and Neptune, all sat around the walnut table with the fire roaring behind them. The empty seat at the head of the table had a few books stacked on it, so Blanc could reach a similar height to the rest of the CPUs. With the air of quiet confidence she normally held, Blanc entered the room, greeted the other CPUs, and then clambered onto her pile of books. The brief pleasantries subsided, and the meeting began. Noire went first.
"If you girls don't mind, I'd like to begin with a glaring issue." she said calmly, adjusting her papers by tapping them on the table. Then, she suddenly slammed them down on the desk with the force of a million angry wanks and slammed a finger towards Jack, who recoiled slightly. "WHAT IN THE LIVING SHIT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SISTER?!" Immediately, the air in the room turned hostile, with Jack raising his hands and making an 'Ohhhh!' gesture as Blanc and Vert rolled their eyes. Neptune continued idly swinging her legs with a pleasant expression, having no clue what was going on outside of the fact Noire was yelling again.
"This bullshit? Already?" Jack retorted, glaring back at her. "I've already told you, Lady Noire, your sister's-"
"In your hands! And that's why I'm pissed!"
"Sorry, but is she doin' fine? She's probably had a better time these past few days than she's had in months of your care!" Noire gasped.
"You're in NO position to tell me how happy my sister is!" She stood up circling around the table and standing in front of Jack aggressively. James backed the fuck up as the two narrowed their eyes at each other.
"Yeah?" Jack snapped. "Well, I damn-well think I am!"
"Then let's see your evidence! Prove that she's enjoyed herself! Prove that she enjoyed being kidnapped by some asshole who does nothing for society but swear and shoot things! Did you even do anything with her except things to indulge in your own little vendetta against me?"
"I don't have a fuckin' vendetta against you!" Jack shouted back, jabbing a finger at her. "If I did, your sister'd be fuckin' well DEAD. But she's not, and you know why? Because I actually give a shit about her, unlike you!" Noire was taken aback.
"...H-How...how DARE you!" she screeched. The room's other occupants cast each other a look of concern, before deciding not to intervene. Instead, Vert, Neptune, Blanc, and James all stood and left the room, closing the door behind them and leaving the two bitter parties to yell at each other. "You've come from another universe! You're just some low-class, gun-toting jerk-off that doesn't achieve anything here, didn't achieve anything back home, and is only gonna cause problems for everyone by not achieving anything else whilst he's here!" The CPU stepped forward, shoving Jack's chest. "All you did was blackmail us into sorting out a 'peace treaty', then started mooching off of the CPUs because you think you're some kind of hero!" Jack grit his teeth, and carried on glaring at her.
She had a point.
He did rely on the CPUs too much.
"You're acting like you've got some divine right to just waltz into other people's affairs and take as you please! First, you shot me in the back and Green Heart in the stomach! You think that's justifiable? You gave me a bruise that lasted a month, you prick! And what about Green Heart? You think she's just accepted that you shot her in the gut?"
"She hasn't brought it up since-"
"That's because she's so damn polite!" Noire yelled, cutting him off. "She's not the type of person to just start arguments for the sake of it! She's not an arrogant sack of scum like you! And you feel you've got some right to just mooch off of her hospitality?" Jack remained silent. Noire just made a 'hmm' noise, arms folded. "That's what I thought. And that's just the start of the list. You've caused thousands of credits worth of agricultural damages to Lastation, verbally assaulted me on countless occasions, and now you steal my SISTER?!" Jack grit his teeth, clenching his fists. "It's no wonder your world sent you away! Even they have standards!" Seeing his reaction, Noire hesitated, and folded her arms, a victorious smirk on her face. "In fact, I'd bet good money that even your parents were-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU SELF-ENTITLED LITTLE CUNT!" Jack roared, before suddenly delivering an open-handed slap so hard that the sound seemed almost fake. Noire could only gasp in surprise as her face jolted right, stinging badly whilst her vision started swirling. Her arms dropped, and she felt her cheek with her right hand, eyes wide and mind still reeling from the impact.
He...he'd actually...actually hit her...and...and drawn blood...wh-what...?
Before she could even think up a counter, or even consider HDD'ing up, she felt her left twin-tail being tugged on, forcing her to look back at her taller counterpart as he lifted her off the ground by her hair almost effortlessly. Through her own, watering eyes, she could see something she hadn't ever seen in Mr. Lovebun's eyes.
Pure, unfiltered, burning hot hatred, directed towards her.
"You know what I fuckin' well think I did?!" Jack yelled, coming within a few inches of her face. Noire could only struggle against the hand that gripped her hair, desperately trying to escape. "I helped your sister get away from YOU! You're a fuckin' work-obsessed, spiteful, self-righteous piece of shit! You're EVERYTHING that I hated back home, and everything I NEVER should have been! I worked too hard, hated everyone that was around me, and as far as I was concerned, I was always the fuckin' one in the right! Well, you know what, you arrogant bitch? That shitty little existence ended the moment I lost MY siblin'!" Noire stared back at him, shocked and confused.
"Y-Y-You l-lost a s-sibling...?" she sputtered, trying to force his thumb off her hair.
"Yeah, MY younger sister: The one who'd ALWAYS given a FUCK about me, always tried greetin' me with a smile, always tried wakin' me in the mornin's, and always - ALWAYS - told me that she loved her older brother. But you know what I did?" For a moment, Noire remained silent, swallowing away some of the dryness from her throat. She thought he was going to hit her again.
Instead, his grip relaxed, and she dropped to the floor, gripping the side of her head. Quickly, Noire shuffled away from him, gazing up at him with...what? Fear? Confusion? Sympathy? She wasn't even sure...
Jack stopped glaring at her, sighed, and walked over to a chair, dropping himself into it carefully, so as not to break it. After a moment of staring ahead, he cleared his throat, and closed his eyes. "Back home, we had some real arseholes runnin' around. Gangs everywhere. Fights were floodin' the streets, violence broke out all the time. Immigrants, some blamed. I didn't. I blamed the media for makin' them think a life like that was cool." He paused, rubbing his eyes. Noire was beginning to stop having head pain, and staggered to her feet, moving over to another chair. "Anyway, one night, my Mum asked me if I wanted to go with her, my Dad, and my sister on a family trip to London. We weren't the kind of family to just...hide, because of some terror alerts. Me bein' me, I...I said no. I wanted to speak to my online friends. I was going out with other friends the day after. I'd chosen friends over family, and my Mum was alright with that. I just didn't want to be lookin' after my sister for a day. She said it was alright, said bye, and then the next day, I woke up to find they'd already gone."
Silently, he withdrew his revolver and began field-stripping it on the table beside him, as Noire pulled a chair up in front of him, shakily sitting down. Her eyes flicked between his unnaturally fast hand movements, and his stone-cold, serious expression. "I thought nothin' had gone wrong and it was a normal day out." The sound of the clicking metal parts stopped momentarily, as Jack looked up slightly. He chuckled, rubbing his forehead, before continuing. "Boy, was I wrong...anyway, accordin' to what I was told, some gang members were lookin' for a fight with some other crew they had a problem with, and the car they knew to look for was a Ford Mondeo with blacked out windows. Similar license to our family's car, and the same make." Noire stared at him as he fell silent again. Then, after staring at the revolver for a few seconds, he continued. "My family was goin' through Hoxton, and they passed the gang that was lookin' out for the similar car. No hesitation, they opened fire. First, they got my Mum. Right in the chest, and she drove the car down into the square when she died. My Dad died on impact when the car flipped." Noire's jaw fell open as Jack carried on. "Then, the gang in the pickup drove straight over and emptied their mags into our car. Only one of those bullets hit my sister, and it hit her straight inbetween the eyes."
"I only found out when my friend linked it over Skype. News story: 'Innocent family of three shot dead in East London durin' gang attack', it said. I was thinkin' up jokes when I read the article, and then...then I saw the pictures of my Mum, Dad, and sister lyin' dead in the car wreck." Jack gave the cylinder of his revolver a spin, emotionless as he watched the six chambers steadily rotate. Suddenly, he stopped it with his thumb, and looked at Noire. "That's when I stopped thinkin' of jokes. The funeral wasn't good, either. I had to pass myself off as the kind of person who was a great brother; Who gave a shit about his younger sister. And I did. People believed I'd made her life happy, when all I'd done was make all the years of it a fuckin' misery."
Finally, he glared back at Noire, snapping the revolver closed with the rounds chambered. "And when I think signin' up to go somewhere else so that I could escape all that and die alone somewhere would be a good idea, you show up. You're the physical fuckin' embodiment of who I used to be. You just act like your sister's just some kind of fuckin' obstruction to your day-to-day life of doin' nothin' but fuckin' work. That's all Uni is to you. A fucking obstacle. When I showed up the other day, you practically bit her head off for just comin' in and sayin' hi. What if she'd've gone out alone, tried to fight a monster, then been killed? What'd you do then? Your last words to her would have been tellin' her you're fuckin' busy, as if some sheets of paper and corporate bullshit matter more than your own flesh-and-fuckin'-blood." He paused, reclining in the chair as it creaked loudly. "Don't make the mistake I did."
The CPU stared back at the proud warrior. He had emotions. He actually cared. "So...y-you're being the sibling you wish you had been, and that I'm not...?" she asked cautiously, wiping her eyes. Jack paused, then silently nodded. Noire looked blankly at him. "...it...wasn't a kidnapping...she actually went with you." Another silent nod, and Noire looked down at the floor. The medium-sized living space was silent for a while, the only sounds being the fire crackling gently on the other side of the room, and the metallic snaps of Jack field-stripping his weapons. They hadn't needed cleaning, no matter how much he fired them, but he just needed something to do. Noire remained looking at the ground, thinking over everything he had just laid onto her.
He hadn't killed his family. Someone else did that.
He did care about Uni. Uni cared about him.
He didn't have a vendetta against her. She had one against him through her own jealousy.
He didn't like her because she didn't care about Uni...
...did he actually like her at all?
For a moment, Noire gathered up some courage, and opened her mouth to speak. Before she could, though, Jack wet his lips and swallowed slightly, sighing. "Listen...Lady Noire...you're...you're incredible, OK?" he began, sitting up. "You...you run a country, you've got thousands of people who look up to you, you get things done faster than anyone I've ever known...you're amazin'. I...I just want you to know that." Noire's jaw fell open slightly. "But...I just can't hold that much respect for you if you can't even respect your own little sister." Jack paused, and looked at the CPU. "She practically idolizes you. You know that...right?"
Noire blinked, and nodded. "She does visit my office a lot..."
"Exactly. And what do you do when she shows up?"
"Most days..." Noire trailed off, thinking. "...most days, I tell her I'm busy."
"And what about those days where you lock yourself in your office?" Noire froze, and locked her eyes dead ahead.
"I-I..." She was stuttering. Oh God, her face was going red, she was too obvious. How could she get out of that question?! "...I-I'm doing n-nothing...n-nothing at all." Jack narrowed his eyes at her.
"Bullshit," he snapped, glaring towards the CPU. "I just revealed to you the very fuckin' reason I am like I am. Nobody else knows that now except you. Even the fuckin' odds, Noire: What do you do when you lock yourself in your office for half a fuckin' day?" Noire stared back at him worriedly, then finally clenched her fists, furrowed her brow, and sighed.
"Look." she began through gritted teeth. "What I am about to tell you. Is top secret. OK? Nobody else can know about this. Ever. We clear?" Jack nodded, and sat up straighter. After a moment of digging, Noire pulled out her phone, before hesitantly pressing a button, looking away, and ramming the device towards Jack. Hesitantly, he accepted it, and looked on the screen.
There, wearing what could only be described as the clothes that some Japanese computer idol singer thingumajigger would wear and posing cheerfully, was Noire. An entire album of pictures like this; Leather jackets, intricate dresses, costumes of all kinds. Jack swept through them, looking each one over with raised brows.
"You made all these outfits?" he asked. He couldn't see Noire's face, but he could tell it was burning crimson at that moment. She forcefully nodded, shrinking slightly in her seat.
"Ohhh...you're gonna mock me now..." she whined quietly, curling up into a ball on the chair. Jack said nothing whilst he cycled through the pictures. There had to have been at least six dozen outfits. That was as far as he got, at least, before he cleared his throat.
"I don't see a reason to mock you," he said flatly. Noire's ears pricked up slightly. "They're impressive. Especially since you made them all yourself." Slowly, the CPU turned around. Her eyes were red. She'd actually started crying.
"S-Stop lying..." she whimpered. Jack shook his head.
"I'm not lyin'," he replied, "They're really bloody good. Though I'd suggest makin' sure some of those stay off the internet, or people might start likin' you for the wrong reasons." Noire's blush returned, as she quickly snatched the phone away, locked it, and put it in...wherever she put it.
"You really liked them?" she asked cautiously. Jack nodded.
"Hell of a lot better than these duds," he whistled, gesturing to his clothes. "Pretty sure most of this blood ain't mine." The CPU looked him up and down, then they fell into silence again. The only sound was the door creaking open slightly due to what Jack figured was probably one of Lowee's über winds, and the fire crackling.
"...do..."
Jack looked at her.
"...do...do you think both of us should stop hating each other, now?" she asked. Jack's expression softened.
"Oh, come on, Lady Noire, you should know I've never hated you," he smiled as warmly as he could. "Just didn't like the way you dealt with some things, 's all. You're a good CPU. You gave me a chance, and you are my goddess, since I signed the citizenship papers." The red-eyed CPU smiled gently at him. "I can't exactly hate you, and seein' as how you know my secret, I'm gonna have to be extra nice to you, now."
"Thanks, Mr. Lovebun."
"No worries."
More silence.
"So..." Jack sighed, looking over at her again. "...we're good?" Noire giggled slightly.
"Yeah, I guess we're good. Thanks for slapping some sense into me."
"Ah, it's nothin'. Thanks for givin' me someone to vent all that shit onto." He paused, narrowed his eyes at her for a second. "Hold up, lean over here, Lady Noire. You've got summat on your face." The CPU let out an 'oh', and leaned towards Jack slowly so as not to fall off her chair. Jack, meanwhile, did the same thing, in order to better see what the hell the black smudge-thing was inbetween her eyes. Just as he was close enough to see it, which was when he was about two inches from her face...
"Are you guys recording this?" came a whisper from the doorway.
"You bet your arse I am," came another. "Solid blackmail material for the next few years."
"Aww...they're so cute!" came Neptune's undeniable voice.
"I think we should all be more quiet and just let it happen." Blanc suggested.
"Yes, we can't just ruin a romance subplot like this! I mean, did anyone here even see this coming?" Vert asked.
"Not a fuckin' chance. I was expectin' to come back and see Jack smashin' Noire's teeth in with the end of a shotgun."
"Mr. Hillman, don't get your hopes up. We all know Mr. Glovebox is tough, but he can't beat our Noire!"
Jack and Noire locked eyes, narrowing them. "What the fuck're they all whisperin' about?" Jack asked quietly, flicking his eyes back towards the door briefly. They thought for a minute, then almost simultaneously, both her eyes and Jack's went wide.
"Oh no," came their simultaneous groan of understanding.
For another five seconds, they remained still, absolutely shocked at the realization of what it looked like they were doing with their faces two inches apart.
Then Jack span in his seat, withdrew both Matebas from his disk, and began firing both revolvers at the door. "YOU NOSEY BASTARDS!" he yelled, as the sound of about thirty different people running away from the door rang out whilst the sound of about twelve shots hitting the door came mixed with the cartoonish running sound. Upon landing on his back, something soft landed on top of him.
"Ow!" cried Noire, her legs over his right shoulder. "Warn me next time you're gonna move like that!" Jack helped her to her feet as carefully as he could.
"Sorry, I really should've said summat," he whistled, rubbing the back of his head to sort his hair out. He glanced at the door, revolvers ready. "Was that unnecessary, you think?" Noire shrugged as she dusted herself off.
"Well, at least none of them found out about my cosplay habits..." she muttered, moving up beside Jack. The taller man waited a moment to ensure they'd all left, then sent his revolvers away. Sighing contentedly, he put his hands in his pockets and looked down at Noire.
"So we're officially friends now?" he asked. The CPU hesitated, then smiled, moving over and hugging him. It was slightly easier for Jack to reciprocate a hug with Noire than it was with Uni, since Noire was a good bit taller.
"Yeah, we're friends."
The hug continued.
"Your clothes smell like human blood."
Jack panicked slightly.
"N-No, they don't!" he sputtered. "Y-You know that fuckin' smell?!"
"I've smelled it before," Noire replied calmly. "And besides, I've already heard what you did in Leanbox. You're a-"
"Real human bean and a real hero, I know, let's not discuss that."
"R-Right." Noire nodded, brushing her head against him. "Family and murder are off the talk list with you, then..."
"And I won't talk to you about cosplay and conventions, unless we're in private and you want to discuss it...deal?"
"Deal."
"Right." They both paused. "Why are we still huggin'?"
"The author said so!" came Vert's sing-song voice from the doorway. Nonchalantly, the CPU walked into the room as if nothing had happened. "Though, I didn't expect you two, of all people, to be caught in a moment of passion with each other..."
"It wasn't a moment of fuckin' passion!" Jack snapped.
"Yeah!" Noire added. "I had something on my face and Mr. Lovebun was seeing what it was, that's all!" Vert stood in front of them, and raised a brow.
"Oh, so you're having a purely platonic hug, then?" Jack and Noire paused, then looked at each other. They were still hugging. They went silent.
"Uh...y...yeah, that," Noire stuttered. "We're...keeping warm. That's all."
"Y-Yeah," Jack nodded. Vert took on an unconvinced expression, glanced at the lit fireplace, and then back at them. For a moment, it seemed like she was going to mock them. Then, to their surprise, she smiled.
"So you wouldn't mind if I joined in, then?" she smirked predatorily. The CPU and gunman swallowed. "Or is this something special between you two?" They remained silent. Finally, Noire coughed.
"Uhhhh...you...can join us, I guess, maybe?" she said, blushing slightly. "The more the merrier, right?"
Five minutes later...
As it turned out, Chaz and Luke had a fair bit in common. Whilst neither were particularly fond of politics, which meant that they had opted to avoid the area where the treaty meeting was happening, the two had been enjoying a leisurely discussion about why British military equipment was so fucking great when James and Josh came running up to them with great urgency. Luke turned in surprise, almost reaching for his sawed-off when he realized he didn't have it. "Woah, what's up with you two?" he asked, grabbing Josh's shoulder. His blonde companion was catching his breath, so James (In a still out of breath voice) answered for him.
"You guys've GOTTA come see the biggest pile of bullshit ever," he wheezed, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. Luke and Chaz looked confused, then jogged along behind Josh and James as they headed towards the room where the meeting was supposedly happening. What kind of bullshit warranted that much running? A fight? Declaration of war?
Minutes later, they knew what James meant by 'bullshit'.
Dead center of the room, Jack was hugging Noire, she was actually reciprocating the hug, Vert was hugging Jack's back, Neptune was sitting on Jack's shoulders, Blanc was holding Jack's arm with a tiny hand because she couldn't hug anywhere else, Rom and Ram were hugging Blanc, and Uni was inbetween Noire and Jack with an adorable look of utter bliss on her face. Jack, meanwhile, had a blank expression suggesting he had no fucking clue what had happened or why it had escalated that far from him and Noire confirming that they no longer hated each other.
And yet, despite this, he found everyone's attention had lapsed for just long enough that he could shoot his four allies a smug grin and give them the finger.