Prologue

"No!"

My cry is loud. Desperate and filled with so much pain that it's the only thing I can hear as everything else goes silent. The rubble shifts beneath my feet, ever-changing as I stumble over it. Not stopping even as something sharp snags at my skin, tearing and harsh.

The blood that bubbles on my skin is easily ignored.

"Don't die. Oh god, please don't die."

I don't know if anyone can hear my prayers as debris continues to fall around us. The ruined remains of buildings fall to the ground, fast and heavy. How none of it hits me is a miracle enough, but even the raining debris doesn't stop me from rushing across the ruins.

It doesn't stop me from praying against the inevitable.

"Please, please."

My words are mumbles. Nothing but nonsense that tumbled out almost without my notice. The only reason I'm even aware of them is that it's the only thing I can hear. Even as the world crashes down around me, only my jumbled words reach my ears.

Only me desperate prayers make any sense as I rush over broken glass and crushed cement and twisted steel. Never stopping even as more and more cuts and scrapes blossom across my skin. I won't stop.

Not until I reach him.

He stands amongst the ruins, surrounded by them, unmoving. As if in a dazed, he lifts one hand, as pale as death and just as white, and watches as it dissolves. As it is blown away like ashes in the wind, gone and drifting away to fast to stop.

"No, no, no, no."

How is this happening?

I tired; I promise I did. With everything in me, I tried to stop this. I did everything I could. Given everything, endless tears and sweat and my own blood to stop it. So why.

Why?

Why is this playing out like my worst nightmare? Why is it still happening? Why couldn't I stop it? I thought I did everything right. Knowing the future events to come means that there's no way you can mess things up, right?

Maybe I'm always destined to fail?

There's irony in here somewhere. I know there is but, as I watch the person I love—the only one I've ever loved—dying in front of me, I can't find it. As I watch yet another person about to disappear from my life, I can't savor it. Not when the only thing I can even feel is panic and despair.

This is why people promise never to love. Why so many promise never to need anyone else in their lives.

For fear of losing them.

Ah, there's the irony. I'm one of those people. The very one who had promised to spend the rest of her life alone rather than watch yet another person walk out of her life. Losing all of your family does that to you, after all.

Jilted, I've promised never to need anyone ever again.

Yet here we are.

Literal dimensions away from that promise and my old life.

"It's okay."

His whisper is soft, almost inaudible as I finally reach him. I cling to him when I do, fingers tangling in the ruined remains of his top like it'll be enough. Like, if I hold to him tight enough, he won't disappear."

"Please, Please," I whisper into his chest, begging someone—anyone to listen. Be it the god of this world or the one from my own. No one is listening though, at least no one who can help as the last of the shattered remains of the building falls and the dust clears. "Someone, please."

There's nothing I can do. No way I can fix this. Despite everything I've already done. All the changes I've already made, this is the one event the story refuses to relinquish. The one event I haven't been able to avoid and something in me will die with him.

A hand cradles my cheek then, lifting it from his chest so that he can look at me. His eyes are calm, resigned when they meet mine. They're emerald green pools of calm and it only hurts worse to know that he's accepting it. That he knows there's no going back, no fixing it.

That there's no forever for us.

That there never was.

"Don't do this to me," I beg him even though I know this isn't his fault. That he can't stop it any more than I can. That no one who cares can stop it. "Don't do this to us."

Because it's not just me. I'm not the only one who needs him. We all do. Every single one of us if we want to survive. If we want to come out of the war alive, we need him, if only to help us escape. I've changed too much to hope of escaping this war with all of us alive.

Aizen doesn't take kindly to traitors.

"Go," he says instead, gaze leaving mine to look at the others. They're gathered around us now, watching and as helpless as I am. He nudges me away then, uses the last of his strength to pull my fingers from his clothes. "Get her out of here."

"No," I tell him, fingers digging back into his clothes to the point that it tears. No one rushes to my side, no one tries to pull me away from, not when it'll be the last time I'll ever be able to hold. Not when this is the end.

No!

I won't let it.

Pulling my gaze from him, I search for her. For the girl that got us into this mess in the first place. Intentionally or not, this really is because of her. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her.

"You can save him," I tell her when I finally lock on doe gray eyes. She doesn't budge at my words. Doesn't move to help even as tears gather in her eyes with something like regret. "Only you can, Orihime. Please."

The desperation is still in my voice, the tears are still falling from my eyes but she won't help. And I can't even blame her because I know why she won't.

We're the enemy.

The evildoers.

Aizen's men, even though I've managed to get them all to betray him. Even though I've promised to help them win this war. And it's all because we're different. We are different beings with different desires.

And the Shinigami hate different; they fear it.

Because different can be dangerous and dangerous is not acceptable.

We never stood a chance.

"It's okay," he shushes, hand coming out to cradle my cheek again. He turns me towards him, eyes still calm even when that hand starts to disappear. Even as it shatters faster than the first and drifts away just as quickly.

Even as this really is the end.

No, no, no, no, no.

"Ulquiorra!"