At breakfast the next day, in the rather small living quarter area of the Lastation basilicom, Jack was unusually quiet as he entered, which was earning him bemused looks from Noire and Cave. Uni was almost used to it, by this point, and quietly chewed her own toast. Cave, still dressed in her casual clothes, silently ate some fruit, judging everyone else at the table.
After about five minutes of total silence between the four, Noire finally cleared her throat, watching him finally get a plate and look at what there was in the middle of the small dining table.
"So...any plans for today?" she asked, trying to begin a conversation. Jack just shrugged.
"Well, I'll just go with whatever," he replied calmly, putting some sausages and bacon onto his plate. "For once, I really don't have anythin' to do but look after Uni." As he picked his knife and fork up before immediately putting them down in favour of his hands, he glanced at Cave. "Did you have anythin' you wanted doin', later?"
The redhead leaned her weight onto one elbow, idly flicking at her new hairstyle. It was finally starting to come back from her forced haircut at the tower, at least, so Cave just had her hair down for the time being. "I did only arrive yesterday evening," she noted. "I didn't particularly plan to come over here – rather, I was going to wait for you in Leanbox. However, the SMD put me on forced leave after the debriefing."
Jack raised a brow at the comment. Noire peeked over the table and also raised a brow, noticing how in the space of six seconds, the man had somehow managed to eat five sausages, three hash browns, a glass of apple juice, and eight rashers of bacon. She hadn't even noticed him eating anything, and Uni didn't seem surprised at all.
'How hard did he hit me in the head with that yarn ball, last night?'
"Forced leave?" Jack asked, resting his elbows on the table and templing his fingers. "I thought you were on constant bodyguard duty." Cave shook her head, swallowing the rather small bite of sausage she'd taken.
"They want to make sure I've recovered from that attack," she sighed, scratching the back of her head. "Broadly speaking, that means they'll usually wait for any hair I've lost to grow back completely before they put me back in active service." Jack nodded understandingly, smirking.
"What, you ain't gonna start rockin' a buzz cut, Miss Cave?" he chuckled. "I reckon you'd look good with a lesbian hairstyle." Noire rolled her eyes.
"Mr. Loondumb, there's no way to tell what sexuality someone has by looking at their hair," she groaned. Uni raised a hand.
"I...dunno, sis," she began steadily. "I mean, Mr. Monoplie's haircut makes him look like an Ancient Loweean Nobleman from one of Yübi Soft's movies. He's...flamboyant." Jack paused briefly.
"...Ubisoft...?" he murmured, almost tempted to inquire and figure out why Uni knew the name of a game developer from Earth. He decided not to chase it up, though.
Noire chewed her lip. "That's...a...very good point..." she mused, before looking at Jack again. "That's something else I never thought to ask you. Your friends...team. Whatever you wanna call them. You knew them on Earth, too?" Jack gave a nod, reclining in the chair again slightly.
"Aye," he replied calmly, glancing out of the window. "Knew all of them from school, then we met as mates, then we all signed up for the project as a laugh." Noire nodded.
"I believe you mentioned that," Cave noted, sitting up straight, leaning back, and folding her arms. "At the very least, it must have been nice knowing your friends were with you." Jack stuck out his lip.
"Mm. I mean, Lady Noire saw how excited I was when I first bumped into James," he said calmly. Noire raised a brow.
"You two kept hugging and high fiving. Are you sure you don't need a new haircut?" Jack waved a dismissive hand.
"Ach, it ain't always a romance thing, huggin'...it's a thing you just do with your mates. If I'm glad to see someone, I generally give them a hug and a handshake or summat." He checked his nails. "Hell, seems universal, here. I do it to Uni whenever I rock up over here, except she kind of tackles me, as opposed to just a hug."
Uni gave a beaming smile. "Well, I always look forward to playing with you, Mr. Loondumb!" she giggled. "You're like the coolest babysitter ever! Way better than the ones Noire hired when I was younger." The CPU just let out an offended gasp and folded her arms.
"I'll have you know that they were highly recommended babysitters. They just...weren't used to someone who was so...shooty." Jack chuckled at the comment.
"Hey, good thing for you that I am, eh?" he grinned. "I'm great at lookin' after kids and teens and stuff." Noire raised a brow at his claim, resting her chin in her hand.
"Mr. Loondumb, you're basically a teen," she replied, unamused. "How old did you tell Histoire you were?" Now it was Cave and Uni's turn to be interested as the behemoth before them went slightly flustered.
"U-Uh...like, nineteen, twenty something, maybe?" he replied awkwardly. Uni nearly dropped her fork, a stunned expression crossing her face.
"...y-y-y-y-you're...you're what...?" she stuttered. Jack forced a smile.
"Aaaaahhh...ha-ha. Should have mentioned this," he said nervously. "I'm...uh, about two or three years older than you at most, Uni." The poor girl still seemed stunned.
"...b-but you're so big and old looking."
Jack kept his forced grin, but inside, being called old by someone he saw as a little sister really did hurt him in ways he couldn't explain.
Cave raised both brows.
"That...is certainly younger than I expected," the woman said, briefly licking her lips. "By that logic..."
Her mind whirred for a moment, and finally her eyes went slightly wide.
"Oh, Goddess, you're technically young enough to be my son." Now Jack was confused.
"Jesus, Cave, when'd you be having the bloody baby? Your eleventh birthday?" She shrugged, seemingly untroubled.
"I hit puberty very early," she replied calmly. "Most Gamindustrian women are fertile by the age of fourteen." Jack went slightly pale.
"Good Christ, you'd get shot in my country for that, and not by the government." Noire was confused.
"Wait, what's the legal age in your world?"
"It varied," Jack sighed, rubbing his forehead. "In most countries, it was eighteen. In mine, it was sixteen. In one country, it was predominantly fourteen but varied from area to area. In some backwards shitholes, there was none." He glanced to Cave. "Remember what I was sayin' to that massive bastard in armour that nearly killed me?" She thought for a second, then nodded.
"You called him a 'child rapist' multiple times," Cave replied. "Legal ages not considered, I'm fairly certain that accusation would make any sane person angry."
"Well, South Africa's not a nice place," Jack said dismissively. "It's like GTA Online, but real life. Fairly certain the police might try carjackin' you, there." He paused. "I'm off-topic again. Anyway, point bein', Cave, you're not old enough to be my Mum." The woman seemed briefly disappointed for a second.
"I'm not?" she asked, thinking. "Oh. My apologies." Jack stared at her for a moment.
"...why're you apologisin'?" he finally asked. Cave shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
"I...I don't know. What are you doing this evening?" she asked suddenly. Jack blinked, and Noire raised a brow again, looking unamused. Uni just idly swung her legs back and forth under the table, holding the sides of the chair and looking between the three older people...or slightly older, if she counted Jack.
"Well, lookin' after Uni, I suppose, 'til whenever that's done with," Jack mused, scratching his chin. "Uh...then I think I've nothin' else." He glanced towards Noire. "You need me for summat, at all?" The CPU thought for a second, then pouted her bottom lip out slightly, slowly shaking her head.
"Nothing that I can think of right now," she said slowly. "I've booked you and Miss Cave in for a meeting with Kei about the tower incident later. Apparently, she wanted to speak with you about that. Otherwise, I think you two have a free day." She paused, before flicking her eyes to Uni and rolling her eyes. "Well, 'free' as in 'looking after Uni free', but you know what I mean." Cave nodded. Just as she was about to speak, her phone buzzed. Taking it out and glancing at it, her eyes went slightly wide, before she stood up.
"I beg all of your pardons, but I may have to leave for a few hours," she declared. "One of my old teammates just showed up in Lastation, and wants to see me." Cave looked towards the other three at the table. "Apologies, Lady Noire, Lady Uni, Mr. Lovebun, but it is a personal matter." Jack waved a dismissive hand.
"Hey, I can look after Uni, you head off," he replied calmly, Noire nodding in agreement. "Just drop me a line if you wanna meet up later." Cave gave an appreciative bob of the head, before walking out of the door. As soon as it shut, Noire breathed a sigh of what seemed to be relief, before she spoke again.
"Mr. Loondumb, I'll look after Uni for today. Meanwhile, I have a serious request for you."
Jack finished the sausage he had somehow eaten within the space of half a second, swallowed, then slowly nodded. "Rrrrright then..." he replied slowly, nodding. "What is it?"
Later...
Despite being allowed some of the contents of his disk back – 'some' being a nice way of saying 'a bowie knife and the .44 Revolver' – Jack was absolutely unsatisfied with the state of affairs that Noire had dealt him.
Proclaiming that he was 'fit for duty' again, she decided to drop a bomb on him: She asked him to hand deliver an invitation to the treaty proceedings to her mother. Apparently due to workloads, Noire was 'too busy' to head out there, and Noire's mother 'rarely ever bothered with the internet', and didn't answer the phone very often.
So, the next best thing was a letter.
The question was, of course, 'why not just send the postman'?
Noire claimed it was due to 'secrecy' of her mother's location, and the 'risk' of an old Goddess' location being revealed.
That being said, her first instinct was apparently to send a six-foot-tall, revolver-wielding, silly-accented English bulldog to deliver a small invitation note to her, sealed with wax. He was rather curious as to why she waited until Cave had gone out to give him the task: Perhaps she just didn't think two people needed to go.
Whatever her reasoning, Jack was chopping through rather overgrown plants that covered a well-concealed trail through Duashok Forest; A smaller, less populated dungeon that was relatively close to the northern land border with Leanbox. Heck, Noire had given him permission to head over to Leanbox to visit Vert, if it took long enough. All he had to do was call her before he left the country.
Some vines in the Duashok Forest were as thick as a man's arm, stretching from tree to tree and sometimes blocking the path outright. Of course, that meant Jack had a job ahead of him to keep slicing away at them; The arm metaphor was as accurate as he could get, considering his vivid memories of what it felt like to chop a man's arm off with a knife.
Well, the word 'knife' was quite an understatement. Uni had been able to wield his Bowie knife almost like a shortsword, considering how big it was and how small she was. Cave had even commented that his weapon was "rather big" and "would probably need all night to polish, and two hands to handle".
It was only after a few minutes of awkward explaining that Noire finally managed to tell him what exactly that joke was, considering that it somehow flew over his head. By the time she was done, both he and for some reason Cave were just as red as her hair, since she had failed to understand her joke by making it accidentally, with Uni deciding to put her fingers in her ears because it was actually slightly disgusting to think about.
The sun had disappeared behind the canopy of the disturbingly empty dungeon, leaving the near soulless place plunged into darkness. Around him, he could hear the usual insects, and what almost sounded like ambient music, but it all set a nice rhythm of its own as it was punctuated with the sound of a heavy steel blade biting into plant-matter.
As he hacked away, Jack did briefly mull on the thought of asking Cave where she got her menacing-looking scissor thingies from. They seemed fairly sharp; No doubt would they make short work of the foliage he was blocked by.
That, and they glowed. That'd be a blessing, too, because he could barely see in the darkness. He found himself squinting, cursing himself for not ingesting 100,000 carrots before he came along in order to aid his night vision, barely keeping onto the path. Looking behind him, he could clearly see patches of sunlight lining the path he'd carved, the sun becoming brighter and more frequent as it got closer to the exit of the dungeon's dark point.
What was unnerving to Jack, though, was the lack of enemies. He'd killed a few Dogoos on the way in, and broken one of Avenir's ROAMER-4 drones that had been drifting about near the entrance, seemingly stuck on a tree...but that was it. For some reason, Jack felt...somewhat disappointed.
Why the Hell wasn't this place crawling with monsters and demons?
He didn't like it. He wished something was trying to kill him.
Nevertheless, it had been roughly two hours of near non-stop cutting when he finally managed to reach the area Noire had told him about, and sure enough, there it was; one corner bathed in sunlight from a gap in the canopy, there was a reasonably large building, with a sleek silver design and an upper floor that poked out from above the ground floor quite greatly, like a balcony.
Jack stood for a moment, slowly approaching it. "Looks like a giant PS2..." he murmured, scratching his chin slightly. "Someone's got a weird likin' for architecture." It was then that he grimaced.
Where was the front door?
Either to his right or left...foliage.
He'd have to go around the whole thing.
Jack sighed, and wiped his bowie knife clean, briefly pulling out a cheap whetstone and grinding the blade up again.
At least he knew his right arm would be stronger than his left afterwards.
Half an hour later...
The front door design was...bizarre. It was an apartment-style gate on the bottom floor, after which there was a set of stairs running up the inside of one end of the building. Upon reaching the top, he was greeted with the sight of a great, 30 degree plain of roofing, with what looked like some kind of garden or courtyard underneath.
A rather grand design: He was sure they'd be able to make an episode of RomTV Cribs on this.
Cautiously moving forward, he made sure to put his knife away, and put Noire's letter in his hand. At least that way, he wouldn't screw up first meeting with Noire's mum. Jack carefully descended the stairs that lead to the courtyard, then did a 180 degree turn and saw a front door on the opposite end.
As he approached, a curtain flickered, and Jack reached towards the waist holster that had come with the new outfit.
She wouldn't dare shooting at him.
Instead, quite the opposite, he was surprised when she opened the door, and began walking towards him.
He definitely saw where Noire got her looks from: Her mother was a dead ringer for her, save for a more casual outfit and shorter twintails. On one arm, she had some kind of armguard, and on her waist, she had a...samurai sword.
Jack eyed it cautiously as they moved to meet in the center of the courtyard, shaded by the massive roof.
Then, with ten feet between each other, they stopped.
Noire's mother was shorter than Noire. By a LOT. Whereas Noire was about 5'5, her mother couldn't have even been 4'11. In heels.
Nevertheless, Jack remained stoic as she glared up at him.
"Af'ernoon, ma'am," he began slowly, watching her twitch slightly at his voice. "My name's Jack London. I've got a letter from your daughter." He raised the letter up, shaking it slightly. She briefly mulled on this.
"And she sent a giant with a shotgun to give it to me?" she asked coldly. Her voice sounded more like a depressed Black Heart than it did Noire. "She could have e-mailed." The man before her decided to withhold a sarcastic 'And good day, to you, too'.
"Apparently, she wanted you to personally have it, ma'am," Jack replied casually, handing her the letter and overlooking the fact that everyone in Lastation kept calling him a 'giant with a shotgun'. He didn't even have his shotgun on his person. How did she know?
She took the envelope swiftly from his hands, and with only the precision that a trained politician could have, tore open the wax seal without breaking it properly, and began reading through the letter with barely the sunlight to read by.
He was almost impressed; Jack folded his arms and raised a brow, shifting his weight to one side. Considering how blunt she'd been and how...well, rude she was, it was definitely Noire's mum. At least if she didn't comply he could just pick her up and carry her like a little baby.
Finally – after the exceptional length of time of six and a half seconds – she folded the letter one-handedly and put it into her pocket. "I'll prepare for the treaty and be there on the day," she said flatly. "I also trust you'll have my mirror back, by then."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Respectfully, ma'am, I was undergoin' a difficult time-"
"The terrorist attack you famously halted was over. You were apparently just upset over grey hairs. You're middle-aged: You should have expected it."
"I'm actually not even twenty, yet."
"Oh. Then you have my condolences." Silently, the tiny woman just turned and began walking back into her house. "I may have a solution for your greying hair. Get me the mirror back, and I shall tell you when we next meet. Good day, Mr. LANdumb."
With that, the door shut behind her, and that was it.
London now stood in an empty courtyard.
Noire had told him she'd take some convincing. That was piss-easy.
She didn't have to just outright fucking insult him, though.
Raising a brow as he turned to leave, he reached for his constantly present phone and speed-dialled Noire.
"Oh, hello. You've gotten lost pretty fast. I was expecting you to call a bit later."
"Actually," he began, simply jumping off the side of the building's top floor into the forest below, "I've just persuaded her. Says she'll be there on the day." Noire sputtered down the phone.
"Y-Y-You...?! How?! She barely knows you! How did you convince her?"
"I'm very charismatic," Jack grinned.
"...I swear, if you just had sex with my mom to convince her, I'm going to castrate you."
Jack was stunned. "What?! Why do you think I had sex with your mum?! Where the absolute fuck did you get that idea?!"
"She's stubborn as Hell! My whole FAMILY is stubborn as Hell! I get it from her! Uni gets it from her, and Uni's never even MET my mom! We all take a LOT of convincing to do anything, so for you to convince her to do something in such a short space of time, you MUST have stuck something, somewhere!"
Jack was absolutely bewildered. "First of all, I'm not that charmin'. Second, I just handed her that letter you wrote and it did the trick. Thirdly, is that why you were askin' me to 'convince you' to let me have a rocket launcher to hand? I dunno how good we both are at convincin', but you seem like you've never done it to anyone else."
There was a brief pause. "...you take that back right now."
Jack smirked as he began making his way back down the path he'd carved through the forest. "Alright, I take it back. I'm very charmin'. Back in a few hours."
"Hey, don't you-DON'T HANG UP ON ME! You're telling me EVERYTHING my mother said when you get back here!"
"Eh, that'll take some convincin'."
As Noire began screaming at him down the phone, Jack hung up and threw it into the bushes, leaving a rabbit to inspect the device in confusion, listening to the ranting voice on the other side. Being a small animal, it didn't speak English, but 'dickhead' didn't seem like a normal human greeting.
That evening...
Dinner was served as usual, only this time, it was just Jack and Uni. Cave had retired to her bed for the night, citing 'tiredness', and Noire was still in her office. Her meal had been sent there.
The dinner, which was an entire small roasted Horsebird, sat in the middle of the table between the two, with a large portion of it already cut off and sent to Noire's office. Jack had already managed to carve off an entire breast, and was chewing it like a dog would. Uni, however, slowly chewed it, resting her hand on her forehead as if either deep in thought, or upset.
Jack had a mouth full of meat when she finally spoke. "Mr. Lovebun?" she asked.
Jack immediately swallowed the meat without chewing, somehow not choking. "Aye?"
"How come you're the same age as me but seem to act like you're...about Miss Cave's age?" She looked up at him. "I get told I'm pretty mature, but you're...on another level."
He scratched his chin, sighing. "I dunno," he replied, placing down his knife and fork and leaning on the table, clasping his hands. "I guess I've always just been...hmm. 'Mature' isn't a word I'd describe myself with. Sure, I look it, but personality and humour-wise..." Uni giggled slightly.
"Yeah, I get what you mean, there," she laughed, before sighing and shaking her head a bit. "Jeez, it freaked me out a lot more than it should've that you're only a couple years older than me. Maybe I'm just used to seeing Gamindustrian guys with dark blue hair and no personality, like all those animes." Jack just raised a brow.
"Not really watched much anime over here," he noted. "I watched some anime where a bunch of dead kids fight Jesus or summat. Watched it with Chika, one evenin'. She cried at it." Uni perked up at the name.
"Oh, yeah. Miss Chika said she wanted to take you out for celebratory drinks," she said suddenly, before winding down slightly. "I...uh, can't go. I'm too young." Jack just chuckled.
"You're the second Goddess of this country," he replied casually. "Just threaten to smite them if they don't serve you, it'll be fine." Uni still shook her head.
"Nah, that wouldn't work," she sighed. "I've...never tried drinking alcohol, anyway. My sister's usually either a really sad drunk or a really brave drunk in the few events she's had anything to drink, so it kind of put me off it." Jack just shrugged.
"I've never had any, either." He thought for a moment. "Kind of weird for someone like me, really. Josh and Luke and James were huge drinkers before all this. Not a great example, really. You can see why I don't bring 'em here to hang with us."
Uni just folded her arms, adopting a more indifferent expression. "I really couldn't care," she said flatly, scratching the side of her head. "I'm not trying to be mean, but they're all kinda...weird. Like, Mr. Black, the soldier guy. He smokes a lot." Jack nodded.
"Didn't smoke for two years, now he's makin' up for lost time, or so he says."
"Well, where's he getting them all from? He must go through...what, twenty cigarettes per day?"
Jack did raise a brow at that, contemplating it.
"And Mr. Hillman. He looks really old...no offense, not as old as you."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Cheers."
"But you get what I mean, right?" the Candidate cried suddenly. "They're just...they're weird, OK? It's not like I hate them, or anything, but they're...just...they're super weird. Promise me you won't leave me alone with more than one of them, OK? If you do, I'll be really mad at you." Jack nodded, chuckling and raising a hand defensively.
"I'll do my best, Uni," he smiled. "Lookin' after you is what I do best." The Candidate smirked, and reclined in her chair, looking at the much taller man. The nightlife outside came from below, but was just noticeable enough for them to have it as a nice backdrop. After a minute or two, Uni spoke again.
"So...what're they like?"
Jack stopped idly glancing around. "Who're we talkin' about?"
"Neptune and Blanc's little sisters. Nepgear, and Rom and Ram. Are they like me?" Jack sat back a little, and thought for a moment.
"Weeeell...in terms of Rom and Ram, not much like you, I'm afraid. They're probably about seven...eight years old. Polar opposites; Rom's the quiet one, Ram's the loud one. They like Mr. Hillman, too. He is to them what I am to you: A babysitter." Uni let out a 'pch' at the comment, looking away. "What's up?"
"You keep using the word 'babysitter'. I'm not much younger than you, if you're not lying about your age," she replied, raising a brow. "I don't know what you wanna to call what you do, but 'babysitting' is what Mr. Hillman is apparently doing to Rom and Ram. They're too young to be left alone. I'm old enough...Heck, I'm almost the same age as you." She paused. "Just...happens that you're an interdimensional terrorist hunter who looks and acts older than he is..."
"And you're a potentially immortal Goddess," Jack smirked, waving a dismissive hand as he reclined in his chair, rocking it slightly. "You think this is a conventional friendship between people?" Uni rolled her eyes, smiling.
"Alright, fine. What about that Nepgear girl?" she continued, drumming on the table. "Neptune's sister. What does she do?"
"Not much," Jack said calmly, briefly biting off a jagged fingernail. "Kind of just stays in the basilicom. Got that 'girl next door' vibe goin' for her, I guess, but it means she's kind of awkward. I think she's probably about your age?" Uni just shrugged.
"Probably," she replied. "I remember reading Planeptune was celebrating her appearance at about the same time I was celebrating mine. She might be a few days or weeks younger. What does she do around the basilicom?"
Jack thought back to the points where he'd sat and observed the Planeptune basilicom's daily life. Histoire kept getting angry, Neptune just sat around eating pudding – sometimes in her underpants or pyjamas, if she got up late - IF and Compa would occasionally drop by, and Nepgear...
...she did always look lost.
Hell, she even seemed to admit she was usually quite out of place: She'd told him that during the tower assault, Kashuba didn't figure out how relevant to his plan she was until five seconds before Jack decided to question his music tastes.
Was she honestly that boring?
Jack scrunched his face for a second. "She…doesn't do much, actually," he mused, thumbing at his chin. "All I saw her doin' in the basilicom was standin' around and sayin' 'Um' if anyone ever asked her to do summat." Uni raised a brow at this.
"That's pretty boring."
"Honestly, she's a lovely girl, though. Probably the politest person I've met in Gamindustri. I reckon you'd get on with her." Jack paused, before smiling. "Hell, you'll be meetin' her at the big treaty celebration, eh? Her and Lady Blanc's sisters. You four can play together, then." Uni nodded, stretching out slightly.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," she sighed, slowly stretching herself out. "Soooo…what's on your agenda for the celebration? You had a lot to do with the treaty, apparently. So are you gonna like give a big speech or something?"
Jack widened his eyes briefly, sucking air through his teeth. "Jesus, bloody hope not," he whistled. "Fuck me. I'm the least motivational person you could imagine." Uni shrugged at his deprecation, rolling her eyes.
"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Mr. Loondumb," she groaned. "You're a lot better at things than you say you are. Remember when you told me you weren't very good at making jokes?"
"But you agreed I'm shite at makin' jokes."
The Candidate raised a finger to protest, but then realized…
…yeah, he wasn't wrong, his jokes were terrible.
She frowned, thumbing her chin, contemplating what else he'd said. Then, her eyes lit up. "You said you were terrible at fighting, early on, when you first got here!" she smirked. Jack raised a brow, prompting Uni to fold her arms. "Miss Cave told me that's what you said to her when you were both naked in a public bath."
Jack went pale for the briefest moment at the memory.
"You told her you weren't great at fighting. Mr. Loondumb, just just shot up a skyscraper full of terrorists and bad guys and took them ALL out. Why don't you ever bring me to these things? We fight together really well."
Now it was Jack's turn to roll his eyes. "Look, I'm not about to bring you along to somewhere that dangerous. Monsters are one thing, but terrorists are another." Uni folded her arms in mock huffiness, pouting.
"Aw, c'mon, you know me," she whined. "I'm too cute for them to kill me."
Jack gave a flat nod. "Yes, you're incredibly cute, Uni."
He was originally planning to continue with a "Which is why they would try to catch you alive", but decided against it.
"Doubt they'd even point a gun at you: You're probably one of, if not the cutest in Gamindustri."
He then realized that he'd dug himself into another hole: Uni was now going quite red, her face a mess of embarrassed emotion.
"E-Eh?!" she yelped, seemingly confused as to what to do with herself. "I-I…! Uh, th-thanks, Mr. Lovebun! O-Oh! D-Do I call you 'Mr.'? We're the same age! W-Wait, u-uh, n-not exactly the same, but about the same…I'm younger than you, r-right?"
Jack shrugged, still confused why she was so embarrassed by his compliment. "You might be," he replied callously, watching as Uni continued to try correcting herself. "I stopped keepin' track and celebratin' mine. Parents never celebrated mine and always forgot, so I just…stopped. I was about 17, 18 years old when I left for training. So I dunno how old I am, exactly."
At this point, Uni had wiped a bead of sweat from her head, and seated herself properly in her chair. She cleared her throat. "S-So…do you remember your birthday?" Jack nodded, resting his elbows on the table.
"August the 11th."
"What year?"
"Every year."
Uni was about to tell him to get out, when the door to the room quietly creaked open across the reasonably small dining room, and in strolled Noire. "Ah, good evening, you two," she began, walking in to pull up a chair at the table. "I trust dinner was good?"
Uni eagerly nodded, and Jack gave a thumbs up. "Solid meal," he replied calmly. "You girls dine like gods, up here." Noire chuckled.
"Ah, Mr. Loondumb, we are Goddesses," she said mockingly, crossing her legs as she sat down. "And your Goddesses, specifically. Need I remind you that you're my citizen?" Jack smirked.
"Not at all, you've got me there. So, you get all your work done?"
Uni, on Noire's behalf, shook her head. "Nope, big sis always has some work," the Candidate said, slightly saddened. "Up at six, asleep at two, most days." Jack raised a brow as Noire sheepishly scratched her head. He folded his massive arms.
"Lady Noire, you had a go at me for my dodgy sleep patterns," he began, almost sternly. "Four hours' sleep daily still ain't good for you." The CPU just cast him a glare.
"It's not my fault that I have to sort through so much paperwork!" she snapped, crossing her arms. "Besides, this is coming from someone who slept so little that he went slightly crazy. I don't think you're in a position to insult my sleep cycle, Mr. Loondumb." He rolled his eyes, but Uni just gave her sister a worried look.
"Sis…he's kinda right," began the Candidate, prompting surprise from both other parties at the table. "A longer lie-in might do you some good. It did Mr. Lovebun a world of good. I think it even helped him discover a way to actually sleep."
The hulking, armoured man with the shrapnel-flecked skin raised his scarred hand. "Turns out I sleep better if I'm huggin' summat," he noted, before moving his raised hand to scratch his chin. "Gamindustri girls are super soft, and apparently I'm really warm, so it works out both ways."
"Exactly," Uni cut in, "I can agree with all of that." Noire groaned loudly.
"In honesty, I kind of wish that you couldn't," she grumbled. Jack smirked.
"Hey, my bedsheets're always open, Lady Noire," he chuckled.
"And so is the door, if you wanna get the Hell out," the Goddess spat. "Anyway, I came here to discuss my mother…actually, several." Uni perked up at this.
"Wait, Mr. Loondumb met Mom?" she asked, before frowning. "How come I didn't get to go see Mom?" Noire shook her head.
"She sent an e-mail, earlier. She'll be staying in the Planeptune basilicom for the treaty signing, then coming to stay here for a week or two." The CPU seemed troubled for a moment. "But there's something I'm slightly worried about." Jack didn't change expression.
"She seemed pretty strict when I met her," he noted. "Are you worried that she might not like how you run things?" Noire paused, staring ahead for a moment, then slowly shook her head.
"Well…no, but thanks for putting that thought in my head," she sighed, reaching up to adjust her twintails. "What I'm worried about is the other CPUs' mothers." Uni just scratched her head.
"I thought Blanc and Neptune's Moms were dead," she said, rather bluntly. "Besides, I know that Vert's Mom was apparently about as peaceful as Vert is."
"She is," Noire replied. "But the issue is that I don't know how Mom is going to react to meeting Blanc's Mom and Neptune's Mom, again." She looked to Jack. "These peace talks have been the first attempt at any kind of treaty, Mr. Loondumb. Ever. Our Mom fought the other nations' leaders for Shares, and so did Grandma."
"Talk about a fuckin' family feud," Jack whistled. "So your concern is how they'll respond to all this?"
She nodded again, rubbing her face. "Yep."
"I see…" London trailed off. Then, he perked up again, tapping the table with a smirk. "Well, if my charm worked on you and the girls, it might work on your Mums." Noire and Uni both raised a disapproving brow, in sync.
"Please don't try to charm my mother," groaned the older sister. "You've already got enough older girls pursuing you."
As if on some plot-convenient cue, Jack's phone suddenly buzzed. Deep inside, he figured he knew who it was going to be, and it was confirmed as he pulled it out. Hold on…
"Oracle Hakozaki?" he muttered, staring at the screen. Noire craned her neck slightly to see the screen, though she didn't exactly know why. "Wonder why she's textin' me…" The CPU in front of him just let out a 'pfft'.
"What'd I just say?" she sniggered. "All these girls that're older than you, and that's not even a hard thing to do."
However, Jack was ready for an age-related insult, and had prepared his own for this moment.
"Aye? Not like you're gonna find a bloke your age, is it?" he shot back. "You'll get a boyfriend and he'll die of old age, you fuckin'…immortal…cocksleeve." Noire seemed genuinely hurt by that.
"H-Hey, that was kind of a low blow," she whined. "I really don't like thinking about that." Jack sighed, flipping his phone shut.
"…alright, sorry, Lady Noire."
There was a brief pause as Jack sorted himself out, seating himself comfortably again.
Uni turned towards her sister, offering a slightly blank stare as her tiny legs swung under the table. "Noire, what's a 'cocksleeve'?" she asked innocently. The girl beside her went pale, but Jack simply smirked.
"You gonna tell her, or shall I?" he chuckled, staring into Noire's eyes.
One of her eyes twitched.
Five minutes later…
"And then she kicked you out?" Cave asked, pouring some tea into both cups that sat on a small table in her room. Jack was sat on one of the chairs nearby, which was dwarfed by his massive stature, and in as relaxed a pose as he could get into without breaking the chair.
"Oh, aye," he replied calmly, watching as the woman before him sat down opposite. "She was pissed."
Cave slowly nodded, taking her cup with two hands and gently sipping it. "Hmm." She was wearing one of the guest room's dressing gowns, but her hair was still done up in ribbons. Jack was quite surprised by how fast it grew back. "In fairness to her, I suppose that I, too, would kick you out if you revealed to my fragile younger sibling the definition of 'cocksleeve', including hand gestures."
Jack shrugged, taking his teacup in one hand. "It was educational." After a brief moment where in the two did nothing but stare ahead of themselves, Jack spoke again. "Sorry for wakin' you up," he began. "Just felt I needed to let you know I wouldn't be in my room, tomorrow mornin'." Cave waved a hand dismissively.
"It's no trouble," she replied calmly. "Did she lock you out of your room, too?"
Jack shook his head. "Technically my fault. My room key was on the table in there, and Noire kicked me out and probably won't want to see me until the mornin'." Cave nodded appreciatively.
"Understandable," she mused. "What do you plan to do for the night, then?"
"Not too fussed," Jack sighed, scratching his head. "I can probably sleep in a corridor, or summat." Cave raised a brow at the comment.
"At the very least, you've been sleeping better," she noted, sipping her tea again. "Trying to fix your sleep schedule?"
"Unfortunate side effect of trying to recover from all these wounds," he grunted, gesturing to parts of his body that Cave knew had been damaged. "I need even more sleep to make sure my body repairs itself. That sleep schedule I had got chucked out of the window. I mean, I don't get tired, if that makes sense. Just that I've found out that sleepin' is super nice."
The redhead smiled at his words. "I'm glad to hear you've started looking after yourself. Goddesses forbid you actually do more things to yourself. And I understand from Lady Noire that you've taken to hugging with Miss Compa at night in Planeptune?" The man in front of her suddenly tensed.
"W-What?" he stuttered, before clearing his throat, "U-Uh, well, y-yeah…kind of, yeah. Just…the, uh, heatin' in her apartment reboots at midnight. S-So it would get cold. And I didn't have a bed. So…she offered me to share hers. A-And we snuggled." Cave was both entertained by his nervousness, and confused.
"Snuggle?" she asked. "What's snuggling?"
"See, I asked the same thing to Uni when-"
"Yes, I saw that Neppit post, you big softy."
"Sh-Shut up. Anyway, snugglin' is where you go into like a warm blanket, or summat, and then two people basically just cuddle." Jack paused, as Cave mulled on the description. "Apparently, anyway. Also apparently it's not lewd." That seemed to work for the older woman in front of him.
"Oh, it isn't?" she asked, stroking her chin, before looking down in thought. "I would have guessed that doing something like that would be considered quite intimate." Jack pouted a lip out slightly, shrugging and shaking his head.
"Hell, don't look at me," he whistled. "I've snuggled with Uni and Compa and IIIIIIIIIIIII-"
'If I tell anyone she'll probably kill me.'
"-IIIIIII rather enjoyed it." Cave flicked her eyes up to him.
"I can understand how that might be pleasant," she mused. "But then the issue in my view is that it can easily be misconstrued by people."
A slight pang of pain arose on Jack's forehead, where Iffy threw that orthopedics book at his face.
"Tell me about it…" he muttered. Cave promptly smirked slightly.
"It also does very little for public image," she continued. "I distinctly remember the public's reaction of adoration at how you looked when you were cuddling Lady Uni." Jack rolled his eyes.
"What, a guy's not allowed to snuggle someone without an immortal Goddess postin' a picture on Neppit?" he groaned. "C'mon. It was the first proper sleep I'd had in about a year. Cut me some slack." The woman chuckled lightly at his defensiveness, crossing her legs in her seat.
"Alright, alright, calm down," came her gentle reply. "Though as I say, I'm very glad that you're sleeping more than you used to. You almost seem marginally normal, now that you have a proper sleep schedule." Jack just smirked.
"Well, I dunno if I'm happy there, Cave," he laughed, scratching his head. "It's one step to bein' normal, then from there it's a house, a wife, kids, and a borin' life." The woman just raised a brow.
"I was always under the impression that something along those lines would be a pleasant life plan," she noted. "Is it not yours?"
Her answer was a simple shrug.
"I see…" she murmured. "That in mind, I met with my old comrade, today." Jack sat up slightly.
"Oh? They just like you remember 'em?" he asked. Cave stared ahead for a moment, then finally closed her eyes and sighed, placing her teacup down on the table and putting her hands in her lap, hanging her head.
"They…started a family," she sighed. "Their marriage was the reason they left the SMD. Two children. Both five, and seven." Jack nodded slowly.
"Huh. Fair enough. I guess you wouldn't want to hurt them if summat happened at work. Makes sense that they'd leave a dangerous job for their kids."
"Indeed. Though…I did tell you in the tower my thoughts on that kind of thing," Cave continued, quietening down slightly. "I…missed my younger years. I'm far too old to start a family, and I don't know if I'd even care for it."
"Too old?" Jack asked. "Aren't you like 32? That'd be pretty much normal family-startin' age, where I'm from. My mum was about 30, when she had me, and probably around 28 when she had my brother. I think she was married at about 24…"
"Mr. Glovebox, this isn't making me feel any better," Cave said bluntly. "I'm older than your mother was when both you and your brother were born, and I'm still unmarried."
"Right…sorry. But Cave, you forget, I missed my youth. Miss Histoire said it best: When I was 16, I was meant to be out partyin' and enjoyin' the finer things of teenage life. Instead, I was thrown onto a whetstone and sharpened for two years. I took a different kind of shots, and for food, I went a whole different kind of clubbin'." Cave grimaced at the thought as Jack licked his lips for a moment. "Damn, seal meat was actually alright."
"I still can't get over you being effectively a child soldier," she sighed, before picking her tea up again. "For a 'child', you certainly don't act like one, or look like one. I mean, you panicked over grey hair." Jack pouted slightly.
"I don't wanna go grey…" he whined. Cave shook her head quickly.
"I think it would look nice," she said politely. "Perhaps whilst it's greying, head to a salon to get it dyed a darker color so that the grey stands out more." Jack raised a brow, opening one eye but still scrunching his face up.
"And why'd I wanna do that?" he asked.
"If you look older than you are, you may as well go all the way. I think the 'rugged middle-aged man' look would suit you fairly nicely."
Jack blinked, briefly considering how he'd look with a beard, moustache, and salt-and-pepper hair…
…nowhere near as bad as he'd first imagined.
He slowly nodded, staring ahead. "That…might just work…" he mused, before sitting up. "Alright, maybe I'll do that."
"I do hope so," Cave giggled. "Perhaps then you won't look as if you're a teenager that's hanging out with one of your mother's friends, if we head out together." Jack smirked at the comment as Cave sipped on her tea once more, shifting on the small cushioned chair.
"Ah, don't drop yourself like that, Cave," he replied. "My mum's mates were nowhere near as cool as you are. Besides, now that you mention it, I think I might look alright with older-lookin' hair. Be a bit of a shame that I'll look older than you, but it ain't that bad." Cave just rolled her eyes, smiling.
"As I say, I'm only 32. There's at most a 13 year difference between us, so you keep those 'old' comments to yourself, if you don't mind. That said, I think I've 'still got it', as they say."
Jack was briefly confused. "In regards to?"
"My youthful looks and vigor, of course," Cave replied. Even her usually flat demeanor couldn't hide the sense of smug pride that she felt in declaring herself to be good-looking. "Why, were it not for the fact that my existence is not allowed to ever be in full public knowledge, my mother had wanted to apply me as a supermodel, until I joined the SMD." She briefly chuckled as Jack almost skeptically raised a brow, folding his arms. "First scar I received on my back – between my shoulders – was the injury which left such a modelling career in tatters. I had applied when open-backed dresses had become 'the thing' to wear. As such, nobody wanted a model who had a large slash mark across her back."
Jack furrowed his brow in thought. "I mean…when I saw you at the public baths, I didn't see any."
"My hitbox is my torso," Cave declared. "Wounds to my arms and legs usually mean nothing and heal faster."
"And your face?"
Cave paused.
"P-Pardon?"
"Your face," Jack repeated, gesturing a line between his left eye and jaw. "You've a scar there, right?" The woman swallowed.
"It's…nothing."
"Cave, it's not nothin'. It's had me worried. You didn't have it before I went unconscious, did you?"
"No, I didn't. It came after you went down. When you went…berserk, the Killachine's head was smashed in half. At the same time, the body must have operated some degree of sentience, since it began swiping towards you. By the time you'd taken its' head off, the STR boosters must have finally taken their toll on you, and I watched your eyes start fluttering and your body go limp. So I acted."
"You saved me?"
"I took the hit for you," she corrected. "It was a backhand like no other. We both went flying, and both ended up in hospital. I just woke up much sooner than you did." Cave paused, then sighed. "I…apologize, for not letting you know sooner."
"Aw, c'mon, Cave, you know I'd get worried about somethin' like that," Jack replied, almost exasperatedly. "Why didn't you let me know?"
"I…didn't want to worry you. It would just be more stress for us both. We are both trying to recover, remember." She chewed her lip, then spoke again. "You…are aware that I only want the best for you, Mr. Glovebox?"
Jack sighed, and nodded. "Yeah. I'm only alive because of you, Cave," he muttered, scratching his chin and letting his hand rest on the table between them. "I…I really don't know how I'm ever gonna repay you for all of this." Cave just smiled, and leaned back in her chair.
Her own hand finally landed on Jack's. "Mr. Glovebox, we've been over my terms many times before," she smiled. "You know what I'd like you to do." Jack looked into her green eyes, then, slowly but surely, a smile crept onto his own face.
"Alright," he said finally. "Let's see if I'm any good as a masseuse."
The woman to his right gave a gentle nod, then stood up, walking towards the bed. Then, without a word, she undid her dressing gown, and dropped it on the floor without hesitation.
At this point, Jack's confidence suddenly disappeared: His face paled at the sight of the woman's white underwear and porcelain-like skin, and he immediately tensed, turning away. "C-C-C-C-Cave…!" came his terrified yet quiet cry.
She turned at his voice, and realized her mistake.
'Of course,' she thought, a mix of exasperation and worry in her inner monologue, 'He didn't react well to this sort of thing in the tower.'
Cautiously, she approached. "Mr. Glovebox, are you OK?" she asked, hands behind her back. "Shall I replace my dressing gown?" Jack shook his head, scrunching his face.
"N-No, no, I-I'm…I'm just tryin' to…to get over myself, 's all…" he whimpered. "Y-You go l-lie down, a-and I'll…I'll steel myself." Cave almost reached out to him, but decided against it. Instead, she moved herself over to the large postered double-bed that was central to the dark-purple room's gothic furnishings, and gently clambered onto it.
She lay her semi-nude form down onto the top of the blankets, made sure she was comfortable, and waited, eyes resting on London. He seemed to be silently talking himself into it, but the look of fear on his face was certainly noticeable.
Cave was now definitely concerned. Histoire had missed something very serious in her psychological exam. The long-term memory disc that Cave had given to the Oracle would likely shed light on the situation, however the two had agreed that they would watch it with him for on-the-spot diagnosis.
Cave's look of worry didn't relent, even when he shakily got out of the chair, removed his jacket, boots, and bandoliers, and made his way over to the bed. The large man got onto it, kneeling down next to Cave.
Then, he did nothing, staring at her near naked body.
"Mr. Glovebox, if this makes you uncomfortable, you know I am fine with you not doing it," Cave said softly. Jack cleared his throat, clearly shaking slightly.
"N-No, I made you a promise, and I wanna carry it out," he replied. Then he hesitated. "S-So…so where do you…want me to start?" Cave exhaled slowly. She really couldn't snap at him for trying to be nice…but she was worried.
"Just…gently, place your hands on my back."
After a few seconds, she felt two large objects plant themselves onto her lower back and left shoulder blade.
"Very good. Now, apply a slight amount of pressure, and move them slowly, in circles."
"Like…like kneading dough?" the voice behind her asked, carefully. Cave nodded slowly.
"Yes, in the way you would knead bread dough."
Slowly, but surely, the man's shaking hands began to move on her back. Cautious, at first, with uneven pressures, but after about 10 seconds, Jack shifted slightly to what seemed like a more stable position, and Cave felt the difference.
Oh, Goddesses, she felt the difference.
His larger hands were no less agile than those of her SMD-issue masseuse, the tips of his (admittedly very rough) fingertips moving her muscles around with ease. The metaphor of 'she could feel her stress melting away' was an understatement; Cave couldn't help but roll her eyes slightly in bliss, a smile coming across her face as Jack gave her one of the best massages she'd had in a long time.
She decided to close her eyes as she shifted in the bed under his hand movements. The risk of falling asleep was…quite frankly, huge, but she'd just have to try her best not pass out.
After a few minutes, in which Cave actually felt a few knots in her back being smoothed out, Jack spoke again. "I take it from the quiet moanin' that I'm doin' this just the way you like it?" he chuckled quietly. Cave just sighed, letting out a contented 'Mmhmm…' as a response.
"Mr. Glovebox, are you certain you haven't done this before?" she murmured, lightly turning her head to glance at him. "For someone so concerned with intimacy, you seem very capable wioh, Goddess, yes, that's the spot…" Her face pressed into the bed slightly as Jack's fingertips reached the point at the base of her neck, his hand gently placed on her collarbone as his thumb worked the spine.
Cave felt deliciously faint. There was absolutely no way that she wasn't either blushing, or pulling some kind of embarrassing face over this. She didn't care.
This felt exceptionally good.
Was this an Earth-style massage?
She wasn't sure she'd ever been this relaxed in her whole life.
She gently shifted on the bed, head resting on her two hands in the 'sunlounging' pose, and simply enjoyed having her muscles refreshed in the most intoxicating way.
This went on for about ten minutes. Her eyes lazily drifted open, and she glanced at the alarm clock beside the bed.
12:30PM
When…when had this started? Her head felt slightly fuzzy.
He'd…come into her room at…about 10:00PM.
They'd spoken for about 20 minutes.
He…he hadn't been massaging her for 2 hours, had he?
"Alright," Jack said quietly. "Anywhere else you want massaged?"
Cave sighed, thinking he would stop massaging so that she could think properly.
He didn't.
Her answer was too fast for her spinning mind to stop, but was thankfully not as bad as she'd expected.
"My…my shoulders," Cave mumbled. "My shoulders, if you please." Jack nodded, and then began looking around, almost confused as his hands left her back. She blinked a few times, trying to regain enough of her senses so that she could look at him.
"Uh…where do I sit to do your shoulders?" Jack asked. Cave rolled her eyes, smirking at his apparent innocence on the topic of massages. Yet, as she sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, she couldn't help but feel like he'd done it before.
She flicked away her now ruffled left twintail, and swung her muscular legs down so that she was seated comfortably. "Just cross-legged behind me will do fine," Cave whispered. Behind her, Jack nodded, swallowing in concentration as he did as asked. Once he'd positioned himself, he carefully put his hands back onto her body, this time planting them on both shoulders.
Cave briefly tensed. She was almost certain that she'd seen him pull someone out of the Planeptune Market Tower by grabbing them like this.
If she was remembering the man's face correctly, the look of absolute horror when Jack's hands landed on his shoulders unexpectedly was probably reason enough for her to have chills…
'Don't think about that, Cave,' she thought, 'Just don't think about what these hands have done, and you'll be fine.'
It only took a second until the thoughts of what Jack's hands had done switched to what his hands were doing: Slowly starting to rub her shoulders. Once more, she released a contented sigh, closing her eyes and looking up as his hand movements caused her whole body to lightly sway backwards and forwards.
She was almost tempted to move her hands and place them onto his to guide them, but not only did she discover he seemed pre-capable of finding where the knots in her muscles had formed, but that she was unable to find the strength to move her arms beyond slowly dragging them to the side of her body. She struggled against the feeling of mind-numbing tranquility for a moment, then finally decided to release a contented sigh, letting her head droop downwards.
"Good Goddess…" she murmured breathlessly. "I…I may have to request you as an officially recognized masseuse by the SMD…" Jack lightly chuckled behind her again.
"Aye, well, Chika said the same thing," he whispered. "Apparently she wasn't lyin' that I'm good with these." There was a slight pause before he spoke again. "Y'know…this…kinda helps with my fear." Cave closed her eyes, nodding.
"So I gather…" she sighed. "I would love for you to tell me about this fear of yours, one day. If you give massages this well and save me…well, helping you there is the very least I can do." All of a sudden, Jack moved his hands further down the front of her body, moving his fingertips to the muscles around her collarbones. Cave yelped suddenly, tensing slightly at the shift, before realizing just how tense the area around her neck had been.
Slowly, but surely, the older lady let out another gentle moan of relaxation, and leaned herself back, carefully reclining into London's lap, head resting on his abdominal muscles. She could now stare up into his face, but chose not to; instead, she kept her eyes closed. Everything felt like a surprise, that way.
She normally hated surprises.
Then again, she normally hated physical contact, too, but that was currently out the window in favor of the most dizzyingly relaxing massage she had ever received.
"So," Jack began finally, moving his fingers slowly towards the base of her neck, "I take it this is evenin' out what I owe you?" Cave blearily opened her eyes, and looked up.
The fairly heavy scarring on the man, with his black undershirt and rippling muscles, made him look like the very opposite of a gentle giant. However, as she lay there with her head spinning at his almost sinfully good massage, she decided to reach a hand up and lightly stroke his cheek.
"I could say it's possibly so good, I might have to call in my favours more often," she giggled quietly, running her thumb across his cheekwow, that was a rather big scar she'd just traced by accident.
Jack didn't seem too bothered, instead choosing to reach a free hand up to hold Cave's, before moving both to the side of her head. "Honestly, this might be a decent skill for me to sharpen," he replied calmly, smirking down at her. "I ever decide to practice, you'll be the test dummy." Cave closed her eyes again, shifting her head to rest more comfortably in his lap.
"Oh, my, however will I cope?" she murmured, smiling. "I don't know if I would be able to deal with such intimacy on a regular basis. Perhaps I might have to apply to be tested on, more often."
"Maybe, maybe." Jack chewed his lip briefly. "Y'know, I'm…I'm always in your debt, Cave," he said finally. "Start as my body guard, fight with me as a partner...I don't think I'd be this close with James, even if he was a woman."
Cave just offered her smile again to him, and once more caressed his face. "And I, in yours, Mr. Glovebox," she whispered. "I used to protect politicians and carry out unspeakable jobs for thr government. It grew old, fast. Following you, however, I couldn't possibly ask for a greater adventure. For that? Thank you."
There was once more silence between the two.
"Want me to do somewhere else?"
Cave admittedly had a rather high number of dirty thoughts flood her usually maiden mind, but threw them away fast.
"Um…n-no, I…I think I've pushed you to the edge of your comfort zone enough, tonight," she sighed, finally clearing her throat. "I believe I'd be taking advantage if I requested anything more."
"Like I said, this helps me deal with my fear," Jack replied, continuing to knead her shoulders. "I'm happy to massage whatever you want. I'm payin' your debt, remember." At this, Cave thought for a moment.
'Would it be too much?'
Mentally, she furrowed her brow, not letting emotions display across her characteristic stoic face.
'Only one way to find out.'
"Then…yes, Mr. Glovebox, I have a request," she began steadily. Jack nodded, continuing to massage her shoulders.
"Alright, what am I massagin'?" he asked calmly. Cave gently moved her hands to take his fingers off her, then struggled to sit herself up on the edge of the bed. Jack watched her with a neutral expression, still cross-legged as the woman before him at stood up, turning to face him. From where he was sat, she almost looked tall, and the fact she was wearing nothing but a set of white underwear had stopped bothering him.
She cleared her throat. "Next, I'd like you to help massage my worries."
Jack did his usual, and raised a brow. "How'm I meant to do that?"
Cave now said nothing, instead deciding to slowly clamber onto the bed on all-fours, and crawl towards the much larger man. Jack began going slightly pale, quietly stuttering a 'W-What?' as the woman – with very little effort – shoved him backwards from his sitting position, forcing his head to land on one of the pillows at the top of the bed.
Cave simply continued crawling over him, practically straddling him, before she took her hands and grabbed his wrists, pinning them down.
If there was one thing Jack knew for certain, it was that Cave was physically stronger than him, somehow. Like the time she'd headlocked him into unconsciousness in Leanbox, he was now unable to get out of her grasp.
So, he simply lay there, staring up at her like a frightened animal.
For a moment, all Cave did was look down on him from her elevated position, staring into his eyes with a relatively flat expression, seemingly judging him.
Finally, she sighed, and slowly lowered herself to the left of him, releasing her grip. Jack immediately recoiled his hands to his chest, curling up slightly and rolling onto his side so that he could face Cave. Whilst for some reason, he expected her to be smiling, she actually kept her stony expression.
Finally, after about half a minute, she spoke quietly to him. "From…how you reacted just now," she began softly, "I can only gather you have very negative experiences with that kind of thing."
Shakily, the man beside her gave a quick nod.
Once again, Cave just sighed. "I see."
The two of them stared at each other for a while, after that. Neither of them wanted to be the one to grab the sheets and pull them over; Admittedly, Cave was kind of wishing that Jack would do it, because she was lying there in her underwear and it was damned cold at night.
Eventually, Jack awkwardly cleared his throat. "There's…summat…I've wanted to try," he said flatly. Cave raised a brow.
"Bear in mind that we are both lying in a bed, one of us is nearly naked, and I am old enough to be one of your mother's friends," she replied. "The opening 'there's something I have wanted to try' suddenly becomes more awkward, Mr. Glovebox."
Jack couldn't help but laugh slightly. "No, no, not that," he mirthed, before pausing. "Well, maybe that. Depends how drunk we both are."
The crimson-haired soldier in front of him immediately went the same shade as her hair, which made Jack laugh again.
"There we go!" he announced victoriously. "I've finally managed to make you get embarrassed! God, that was reasonably difficult. You're a tough one to crack, Cave." After a moment of comprehension, in which Cave managed to eventually determine that he was joking, she slowly smiled herself.
"Hmmph. You almost got excited, there, Mr. Glovebox. And here I was, thinking you were afraid of intimacy."
Jack just smirked, adjusting himself on the bed to better support himself on his side. "Cave, I just gave you a fairly personal massage, and I've snuggled with quite a few people in the past few weeks," he replied smartly. "As of right now, I just need to get over the cripplin' embarrassment of bein' seen or seein' people with less clothes than usual, bein' flirted with, and the very premise of intimacy."
Cave mulled on this for a second, then rolled her eyes and gestured to herself. "Here, allow me to help with some of that." Jack's eyes wandered down slightly.
God, Cave was muscular. No wonder she could outperform him physically; Her muscles had been shaped over God-knows-how-long of beating the living shit out of Leanbox's problems. Hell, hers were more practical than his. Sure, he may have had biceps the size of Bristol, but Cave's muscles were trained with actual use in mind.
He distinctly remembered in training when they fed them nothing but protein for half a year, then forced them to spend hours upon hours of their days on gym equipment. It seemed more like an intimidation tool, than anything.
Looking between Cave and London, most people would be more scared of London, in consideration that he was about a head and a half taller than her, and built like the T-800 from the original Terminator.
That would undoubtedly be one of their last mistakes, especially when you kept in mind that Cave had done an absolute Hell of a lot during the tower siege, usually when London was elsewhere.
But now that London had to look at Cave, he finally saw what she'd meant earlier by 'scars'. Whilst there weren't too many on her broad back, he now saw the volume of scars on the front of her abdomen. He wasn't particularly sure what he was more impressed by: That the lack of scars on her back indicated the fact she never fled, or the volume of scars on her front which indicated just how fucking difficult it was to kill her.
Knife wounds, claw marks, bullet wounds, shrapnel wounds, burning; All had made their mark on Cave. And without doing anything to her seemingly genetic good looks; Scars or not, Cave would have made it big as a supermodel, back on Earth. A large bosom, hourglass figure, and extremely toned body, coupled with the 'cool older lady' aesthetic that most women would kill for, and an absolutely stunning ability to kill literally anybody.
Jack had seen Zoolander: Sexy assassins were what catwalks wanted.
"Do you see this, Mr. Glovebox?" Cave continued. "This is nothing to be afraid of, nor embarrassed over. Everyone has one. There are undoubtedly millions of people who would trade everything to be as strong and well-built as you."
Jack inhaled slowly, nodding. "Aye…I-I suppose you have a poin-"
"With a body like yours, undoubtedly, were I you, I would be in my undergarments almost all day!" Cave ranted. "I've felt your chest and abs, Mr. Glovebox, and they were magnificent! You should be truly flaunting them, as a demonstration of what men should aspire to become!"
Jack swallowed slightly. "O-OK, Cave, I think I get i-"
"I remember seeing Mr. Black and Mr. Monoplie washing near the river in Planeptune! Good Goddess, they were scrawny. Their bodies were like beef jerky, in comparison to your hearty steak dinner of a form. And always bear in mind how many screaming female followers you have around Gamindustri; Would they be as interested if you weren't – as the tabloids say – 'hotter than the fires of Hell'?"
"Uh…n-no."
"Exactly!" Cave cried.
Jack licked his lips slightly, watching as Cave became more excited by her own words.
"And then you tell me that you're embarrassed over your body?" she asked him.
"I-I used to get called 'tubby' in high school, by the other lads-"
"You would snap those men, Mr. Glovebox!" she nearly yelled excitedly. "You would be able to take them all on with just one arm! Have they faced gunfire? Slain a dragon? Halted monsters almost five times their size?"
Jack thought about that.
He remembered Crimmins. Three years ago, he'd pulled Jack's trousers down in front of everyone, revealing his underpants and overhanging gut, with a few other guys rushing up to slap his stomach and call him 'lardo".
The incident was…disturbingly fresh.
And during training…
Just the thought prompted him to pale.
"I…I get your point, Cave, but I…I really don't think words will do much."
The woman paused, looked at him, and sighed dejectedly, her energy gone in an instant. "…I…I see…" she murmured. After a hesitation, Jack rolled onto his back.
"I've…I've promised I'll tell you about the fear, one day, Cave," he muttered. "I just don't know when I'll find a way." The woman just stayed silent.
That was one way to kill the mood.
After another silence in the dark room, she spoke again.
"You never told me what you wanted to try."
Jack perked up at it slightly, then deflated after a second. "A-Actually, never mind, it's…it's embarrassin'."
"I'll be the one to judge if it's in any way embarrassing. Even then, I am in no position to judge."
Jack closed his eyes, and sighed.
"Fine. I'm taller than everyone, so it's…kinda been impossible and I've not been able to ask, since it's…kinda the opposite to what you'd expect from me." He rolled over to face Cave once more, his own face now a light shade of crimson. "I…I wanna try bein' the little spoon."
Cave blinked.
Oh, now that was slightly embarrassing for him.
"The little spoon?" she repeated.
"Y-Yeah. I…I wanna see what it's like for someone else to be dominant in the hug."
Cave couldn't help but crack a smile, which made Jack's expression fall.
"Oh, Christ, now you're gonna laugh at me," he groaned, rolling onto his back and shielding his face with both hands. Cave just concealed her gentle giggling and placed a hand on his bicep.
"No, no, I think it's rather brave for you to admit that," she relied gently. "Also rather in your favour, considering I'm slightly stronger than you." Cave shifted up the bed slightly, and patted the area in front of her. "Come closer."
Smiling slightly, Jack did as she asked, shimmying himself over to close the two foot gap between them. "Now, just relax, and I shall see what I can do."
As she gently reached forward to pull the larger man closer to her, Cave pushed her right arm beneath his armpit to come out behind him, and loosely placed her left arm over his back – no easy feat, considering he was way bigger than her. Then, pushing her legs between his, she grabbed the bed sheet behind him and gave one flick of her wrist, freeing it from the edge of the bed and pulling it towards the two.
With her left hand, all that was left to do was pull it over the two of them, and move her right hand to scratch the back of his head as the warm blanket cocooned them both. She smiled again as the man in her arms let out a contented sigh of his own.
"There," she whispered gently, beginning to stroke the back of his hair, "Is this what you wanted?"
It was almost funny to see him like this: He looked like a child being comforted….until he spoke.
"Oh, this is fuckin' lovely," he murmured, face planted into her shoulder. "Your perfume smells of cherries and you're really warm. You give some fuckin' ace cuddles, Cave." She smiled at his commentary.
"Ah, cuddling compliments," she said quietly, "You really are one of the last people I would expect to want this. Rather a shift from your public image, is it not? You say you want nothing more than killing monsters, but behind closed doors, you just want someone to hold you close and stroke your head, hmm?"
She could feel his face heating up. "S-S-Shut up…I just wanted to try this."
Cave put on her most condescending look, moving her whole hand to rub the side of his face. "Aww, Oracle Hakozaki was right: You really are just a big softy, aren't you?" she cooed mockingly. Jack offered nothing but a grumble, promoting a light chuckle from Cave as she rested her head on the top of his with a sigh. "Good Goddess. If you're this good at massages and this good at hugging, we really might have to share a bed in that house of yours."
Jack let out a puff of air from his nostrils, nuzzling into her chest slightly. "One step at a time, Cave," he yawned. "One step at a time."
Cave continuing rubbing the back of his head, and was about to ask why his face seemed to be buried in her chest, but before she could speak, there came a light, sporadic rumbling. It took her a moment to gauge whether or not this was some low-key attempt by Lastation security to take her out at midnight, but then paused, and glanced down.
"…you really are getting good at this 'sleeping' thing, aren't you, Mr. Glovebox?" she mused, brushing a stray piece of fringe out of his eyes before adjusting herself comfortably onto Jack.
She lay awake for a moment, questioning why the author had detailed over several chapters what seemed to be the Cuddle Crusade of someone who – mere chapters before – had been dismembering people in hails of gun fire.
She decided not to ask.
"Maybe there'll be some plot development, soon," she mumbled, before gently drifting off to sleep.