Chapter 12

"I'm sorry."

My words bounce around the quiet room echoing back to me, small and apologetic as I turn to watch Ulquiorra. He watches me back, leaning against his dresser as he does, hands loosely tucked into the pockets of his Hakama as he waits for me to say more. But I don't have anything else to say. I have no words to explain how much I get it because I do, with a fierceness that makes my heart stings and, yet…not even then will I be able to stop myself.

Not even with his words laid out before me, a gentle warning, am I going to stop. Not when sitting here, doing nothing, would hurt more. When watching him turn to dust would shatter my already broken heart.

Evil or not.

Demons or Angels. It never mattered. Not to me. So I will not let them fall. I won't stand by and watch them all die even if they would sooner kill me themselves than accept my help. So my apology, quiet and underwhelming as it is, is for more than picking another fight. It's for this. For my willingness to give my life for him when he's already warned me to look after my own safety first.

For valuing myself so little that I would willingly give my life for creatures that would see me dead. And for not having much to give even then. Other than pitiful life and knowledge of the sad fates that await them.

I'm sorry for not being more.

If Ulquiorra understands the depths of my apology, he never gets to say. Whatever reply he has to that is cut off, taken from him as something heavy and stifling settles over us. Something overpowering. Unsettling. So much so that it bears down on us, like a heavyweight that would have brought me to my knees if I had been standing.

"He's here."

Because of course, he is. Just as the clock strikes midnight, like some backward version of Cinderella, Ichigo is here! And Ulquiorra, emotionless Ulquiorra turns to me with blank eyes, something stifled in them because I had said Ichigo would. In my half-drunk stupor, I'd promised Ichigo would make his way here and he finally has.

And I'm almost out of time.

Whatever I've been planning, however I'm going to save them, it has to start now, before Ichigo makes his way past the walls and into Las Noches proper. Before Ulquiorra can get to him and cut him down only for Grimmjow to bring Orihime to him and piece him together again only for Grimmjow to be cut down instead. And Nnoitra too, who will face his end at the hands of Kenpachi, along with Tesra—too loyal to run when Kenpachi turns his blade his way. And there's Szayel too, who I'll have to find a way to keep away from Renji and Ishida and Mayuri, and then there's Aaroniero and Zommari and Yammy and, and, everyone.

But I'll never be able to save them all.

I know that with a certainty that hurts. It Burns like a failure I never had the chance to win but lost through my never-ending inadequacy anyways. But there's nothing I can do about that, not when there'll be so much going on, so many fights happening at once, so I cut my losses now. I go about picking out the easiest ones to save now even though doing so feels like a betrayal to everyone.

"We must go," Ulquiorra says then, pulling me from my frantic planning as he pushes off his dresser and stands. He holds a hand out to me then, waiting for me to take it instead of just yanking me to my feet.

I slip my hand into his slowly, confused, but grateful enough that at least so of the manhandling has tampered down. Already I can feel the beginning of a bruise forming around my upper arm, the skin tender even if it still hasn't blossomed into an actual bruise. One I'm beginning to realize might become a permanent marking on my skin, what with Ulquiorra's habit of dragging me everywhere.

"I have to talk to Aizen," I tell him then, as I twine my fingers with his before he can pull his hand away. The way I see it, if I keep a hold of them, there's less chance of him latching onto my arm again. "I've waited too long."

And it's true. There's a very significant conversation waiting to happen between Aizen and me. One we've put off way too long already, for all that I need it to happen if I have any chance of saving anyone, myself included. Though I know I've put it off in a desperate bid to avoid any unnecessary pain, I'm honestly surprised Aizen forced the conversation already or had Ulquiorra drag me, kicking and screaming for some form of interrogation. But whatever reasons Aizen can have for delaying this talk, it needs to happen.

Now.

Before any of the fighting happens and I lose one of the few I've decided to save.

"Aizen has called a meeting," Ulquiorra says, eyes locked on the hand in mine, watching it with his ever-blank gaze before he tugs. Gently, slowly like he can't figure out how to untwine our hands, he twists his fingers out from in between mine. "You can attempt to talk to him then."

"I guess it's too much to ask for a private audience with the king, then?" I joke, letting Ulquiorra's finger go as soon as I realize what he's trying to do. Hands parted he waste no time scooping me up in his arms, cradling me close to his chest seconds before the world spins and we're flashing down the halls of Las Noches.

"Aizen is a busy man," Ulquiorra says when we finally stop, the words almost whispered into my ear from how close we are. Pressed against his chest, he would only need to dip his head a bit to truly whisper them into my ear.

"I don't doubt that," I agree, sliding from his arms when he goes to lower me back to the ground. Though, when his hand comes up I take it into mine before it can latch on to my arm yet again. "All that crazy tends to keep a person busy."

He's like an octopus, one dead set on keeping a grip on me whenever we're out in that open. And I'd be lying if I said It wasn't getting old and fast. A hand in mine I can take, encourage even if it's someone I particularly like, but all the manhandling is starting to wear thin. Love of my life or not, so I easily intercept his hand as it goes to grab my arm, twining our fingers together before he can pull away.

Ulquiorra fights my returned grip for a second, just a shallow pull that seems to be more from surprise that I would grab his hand so aggressively than to actually separate us. When he realizes I have no intention of letting go though, he allows the grip even as his fingers tighten just a little too much on mine as he begins to lead me forward.

"I believe we have some intruders," someone says just as we turn a corner, appearing before the rest of the gathered Espadas just as the doors to the throne room open and everyone begins to file inside.

"Intruders?"

"Underground path Twenty-Two collapsed," Zommari says from the front of the crowd, answering Barragan's question. Having arrived behind everyone else, Ulquiorra and I are the last to come in, trailing behind everyone.

"Twenty-Two?" Baraggan asks as he nears the table, eyes coming our way when he finally reaches his seat. Even being one of the last to arrive doesn't mean I manage to escape the looks once again thrown my way as I follow Ulquiorra to the very front of the table. "That's pretty far from here, isn't it?"

"Indeed," Szayel says, as he sits, one of the few not bothering to turn our way as we walk past them. If only because we pass behind him, making it difficult for him to trace our path without turning more than can be comfortable. "It would have been interesting if they had just burst right into the throne room."

"Yeah!" Nnoitra agrees, his cry startling in the otherwise quiet room. So much so that I can't hide my flinch. Or the way I pull closer to Ulquiorra afterward, hiding as much as I can behind him from the gazes that trail after us. "That would be great."

"Shut up," Starrk snaps out then, a glare on his face as he shoots his eyes Nnoitra's way. Not that Nnoitra minds the glare all that much as he leads back carelessly in his seat. Still, he quiets at Starrk's order. "I'm tired so don't talk so loudly."

And that's all it takes to end the conversation. One order from Starrk and everyone goes quiet, the rest of them taking their seats without a peep even though silence isn't something you would think them too capable of. But that's the power of Starrk, Primera Espada, leader of this seriously dysfunctional crew so they all go quiet as all but Ulquiorra and I take our seats.

Though it's not from lack of wanting to. Not wanting to keep standing and drawing more gazes, I'd much rather take a seat, but I can't. There's only one chair left, Ulquiorra's chair to be exact, and while propriety would dictate that a woman should have first rights to the last seat, I'm under no delusions that propriety is something anyone here would even think to follow.

So instead I stay standing even as Ulquiorra doesn't take the seat himself. Instead, he watches me, something about the way he says nothing but keeps his eyes trained on me reading as curious for all that he gives no actual life to the emotion. An uncomfortable silence settles over us then as I look from Ulquiorra to the chair and wonder why he hasn't sat in the damn thing yet. All while Ulquiorra stands as still as a statue, watching me like I'm about to do something he can't afford to miss, like I'm going to pull a chair from thin air or something else equally unbelievable.

All while the few eyes that weren't on us finally turn our way as we just keep standing there like a couple of idiots, both unsure who should take the chair even though it's so obvious, I feel like an idiot just waiting for him to move. Because really, why would a human sit before a high-ranking Espada, female or not. So the longer he stands there watching me, the more my nerves prickle, annoyance only growing when he ignores the tug I give his hand to urge him into sitting.

Someone gives a quiet snicker and I hear it crystal clear, muffled though it is so I can't help it as I snap.

"Just take the god damn seat already," I grind out as quietly as I can, letting my fingers go lax in his so that I can slip them away. Not that he even gives me the chance. His fingers only tighten more, squeezing to the point that one of my knuckles gives a quiet 'pop', the joint cracking under the pressure. "Asshole."

He lets go of my hand then, releasing it when I flinch away to shake out the tingle that swarms up my arm, warm and sharp. Another snicker sounds and I turn to find a grin, dangerous and smug, on Grimmjow's lips as he leans back in his seat.

"I have a seat for you," he says, smirk only deepening when I glare at him. I contemplate flipping him the bird only for a bit before I do it. It's not like we're on good terms as it is, so without even looking his way, I flip him off, ignoring the way he chortles at that. Laughs like I've just told the best joke of his life.

"What is this?"

And of course, that's when Aizen makes his appearance. When I have one middle finger aimed Grimmjow's way, the lunatic laughing his ass off, and glaring at Ulquiorra because this is all his fault. Only just managing to bite off another curse, I jerk my hand back to my side, hiding it behind my back as I turn to Aizen with a smile as innocent as I can make it.

"Good morning, Espada," Aizen greets, voice warm even as he shoots me a warning look, a dark promise in them that has me scurrying to push Ulquiorra into his seat. "We are under attack."

Ulquiorra folds into it at my insistence, taking the chair as I move to stand behind his chair, if only to hide behind the tall back of it as best as I can. It offers an adequate amount of protection from curious eyes, so I don't have to look Aizen's way if I don't want to. He can't really see me hiding behind Ulquiorra's chair well enough to make eye contact. At least not without lean back in his chair and craning to see around Ulquiorra's so I figure I'm as safe as I'll be getting for now.

"But first how about some tea?"

Or at least I think I am until I spot bright red eyes, peeking out from behind long sliver lashes and slitted eyes, that I realize I'm nowhere near safe. Not when that smile, thin and cruel, curls at the edges, deepening in something that looks as dangerous as the glint in those eyes for all that he looks pleased. Excited about something I can only guess at, as he brings one long pale finger to his lips and slips his eyes close again.

'Be quiet.'

The command is silent but no less deadly as he lowers his hand again, crossing his arms behind his back as he does. But it's not a command, it's a threat. One he loads by turning red eyes Ulquiorra's way just before they slide fully closed. As he makes it clear just what is at stake if I don't keep my mouth shut.

I take the threat to heart with an intensity that sends my heart racing. Agreeing with a slight incline of my head, I turn my own gaze to the back of Ulquiorra's chair, more than a little stunned at the threat. Not that I ever had any intentions of exposing him, but I know better than to go against him.

Gin Ichimaru is not someone to be fucked with

Look at all he's done just because Aizen messed with Rangiku once upon a time ago and Rangiku doesn't even remember it. Gin does though, with an intensity that will get him killed…maybe I should talk to him too, warn him at least, that Aizen suspects, if not outright knows that Gin will betray him. Even if he did just threaten Ulquiorra, I can't just leave him to his death, especially since he's fighting for the good side—in his own messed up way.

So yes, definitely need to get Gin alone and fast, because things are truly in motion no, gearing up for the big show and I've wasted too much time already. More than I could afford to waste, if I'm being honest.

So, turning my gaze back to Gin, I wait until his eyes slither open, the red just peeking behind his pale lashes, before I slowly drift my gaze Aizen's way and back to him. I do it a few more times, just until Gin follows my gaze to Aizen and trains his eyes ever so slowly back to me.

'He knows.'

I shape the two words carefully, making sure I'm hidden from both Aizen's and Tōsen's by Ulquiorra's chair as I do. When Gin stills, muscles tensing for a second before he melts back into his relaxed stance just as quickly, I know he's understood at least enough of my warning to be cautious around Aizen. Still, warning delivered or not, I know there's going to be a private meeting with Gin in store for my future.

I just hope he plans it for before I'm half-way across Los Noches trying to keep as many of these idiots from rushing to their deaths as possible. Also, it would preferably be before I paint a huge target on my back via my much-needed talk with Aizen, but I only have so much time left before it'll be too late to do anything entirely.

So, while I really would like to give Gin the full informed warning he deserves, this may be the best I get to do. It's better than nothing, but I hope it does enough to at least give Gin a fighting chance.

Aizen had cut him down so quickly, so efficiently, that there's no way he hadn't seen Gin's betrayal coming, hadn't planned for it from the start. So, with this, I hope it's enough to give Gin some kind of boost. If not enough to beat Aizen, then enough to save his life because, just like all the Espada's gathered around me, Gin deserved better too.

More so, even, because Gin had done it for Rangiku.

For love.

And I would never forgive myself if I didn't give him the fighting chance I'm already giving Espada's who would see me dead the second Aizen's protection is lifted. Because Gin deserves it more, for all that he's a little twisted, a bit crazy with a splash of burning vengeance that points at more than a few hidden anger issues. And, while the Soul Society may still consider him a criminal when everything is said and done, at least Rangiku would know. Would understand, that he'd one it for her, for love.

And maybe that would be enough.

Just enough to quell the vengeance in his heart and the anger in his soul.

When he nods, just the small dip of his chin as his usual smile graces his lips again, I know he's understood enough. Just enough to change the course of his life, and hopefully for the best, but it's all I can do. The least I can offer him because this is it.

The war has begun.

And I'm out of time.