By far, the most exclusive place in Gamindustri was one of the more coveted titles for every club owner, restaurant, apartment block, and store. It was THE title: Just like on Earth, everyone would know you were exclusive, reserved only for the elite of the elite with pockets deeper than Dark Souls lore.
Now, one would be forgiven for assuming that title was held by some Lastationese apartment block for Avenir executives, or a Planeptunian nightclub frequented by the likes of Dengekiko and various other celebrities. Or perhaps, even, the section of R-18 Island that caters to (as it declares) "true degeneracy".
However, this was not the case.
The single most exclusive area in Gamindustri was Nin-Ten Dōji Palace, Lady Sixtia's private fortress at the throat of the world. However, the most exclusive location within there was not, in fact, the throne room: Instead, it was a bamboo-fenced area within the Palace walls, half-covered by a thatched roof and surrounded by large stones that marked the edge of the final peak of the mountain.
And as London entered this coveted location, once more donning his normal clothes in the place of robes, he came to a realisation.
'The only place that could possibly be more exclusive than God's house,' he thought, as a wave of warm humidity hit his face, 'Is where God has a bath.'
Indeed, as London took his careful steps into the stoney area, he found himself within possibly the most pristinehot spring he had ever seen. Even the professionally maintained one in Planeptune hadn't been this obscenely tidy. Dust likely couldn't settle because of how damp it was; The floor had a perfectly clean, smooth finish, yet didn't feel slippery; And the water was undoubtedly the most crystal clear that London had ever seen in his life.
He stood marvelling for a moment, hand on his hip...then raised a single brow.
"...a...hot spring…?"
His answer came in the form of a large hand being gently placed on his shoulder - a feeling of being utterly dwarfed that he hadn't experienced since he was barely half the height of his parents as a young boy. Not even Sigrun was able to do that to him so casually, and she had a whole two and a half feet of height over him.
"Indeed," came the almost silk-like voice from behind (and above). "T'was in these holy waters that we rested once we had toiled for a week; Crafting our perfect world had taken a toll. We needed to bathe ourselves."
"That's...pretty amazing," London replied, nodding approvingly. "And this is the spring you bathed in?"
"These very waters." Sixtia's hand moved from his shoulder, and there came soft rustling behind him, barely audible over the sound of a deer scare and trickling water. "Thou'rt to join us, in soothing frayed nerves in these waters. In here, we shall drink sakē, bathe, and discuss the differences of our world, to thy own."
London didn't look back at her, instead continuing to silently marvel at how pristine everything was. Of course, this lasted right up until there came the sound of fabric landing on the ground behind him. He paused.
'Oh no.'
Without even needing to look - or particularly wanting to look - London knew that behind him, Sixtia was ready to bathe, and had simply stripped herself of all clothing. Probably for the best that he didn't look. It might be blasphemy. Probably.
"Pray, shed thy garments, Jack London," Sixtia said, in a gentle voice that carried a thick air of authority. When she began to pass his right side, he decided to look left, burning crimson and feigning that he was undoing a buckle of some kind. "We shall acquaint ourselves with the water in the meantime."
London swallowed hard before speaking again. "Uh...y-yeah, I'll...I'll do that."
The response came in the form of water resisting and lightly splashing against a pair of doll-like legs, as Sixtia gently stepped into the waters, the same way as she had done since the very dawn of the land. By the time London had seen fit to look over, finally managing to take his jacket off, Sixtia was situated on the other side of the waters, eyes locked on him, legs apart, and her arms spread across the rocks behind her, lounging.
Her face was stoic, as she finally spoke.
"Dost thou plan to undress, or nay?" the Eldest Goddess asked, head tilting ever so slightly with not even a tinge of emotion on her face. "Surely thou'rt not disturbed by our gaze?"
"Um…"
"Unusual."
"W-Well, uh…"
"Thou'rt distressed?"
London paused. Then, he took a slight breath, and cleared his throat.
"...yes. Yes, I'm...distressed, by it, Lady Sixtia."
"We see."
Another moment of silence.
"Wouldst thou be more comfortable if we were to aid in the shedding of thine garments?"
"The, um, opposite, I-I'm afraid."
"Hm. Thou'rt reserved in thy modesty, even before an Elder Goddess. Very well; We shall look away, should it be a comfort to thee."
As requested, with what did seem like a mild amount of annoyance, Sixtia looked to her right, closing her eyes.
London had to be quick. He was already pushing her generosity by not doing as she asked. With another awkward swallow, he set about quickly disrobing; He undid his boots, took off his empty holsters, and finally, he dropped his clothes to the floor with a heavy clank.
At the last note, Sixtia did almost seem to shift slightly, as though tempted to look, but held her curiosity with the expected composure. And as the waters finally splashed - with London's hand covering the important thing between his legs - Sixtia finally looked at him with calm yet obviously curious eyes.
London was sat on the opposite side of the hot spring's waters, legs together and hands on his lap, staring into the water before him with an almost fearful expression across his features. His attitude since arriving had been one of amazement, yet still had a sense of authority and confidence. His body, being covered in more scars than she could count with a simple gaze and muscles that were more chiselled than some legendary warriors she'd seen in her time, told a tale of violence, both given and received.
And yet, as he sat opposite a woman who was the very epitome of Gamindustrian beauty, London was shrivelled like a schoolboy, except his features carried a certain hint of genuine fear.
Sixtia tilted her head, and her face took on a slightly more judgemental expression as she assessed the man before her; A long, slender leg came out of the water, crossing its' opposite, and after about a minute, she spoke once more.
"Thou'rt afraid."
London didn't respond verbally. Instead, after a pause, he gave a slight nod. Sixtia decided to press a little harder, face unchanging.
"Why?"
The man swallowed, and seemed taken aback.
"...u-um…why?"
"Yes. Why art thou frightened of displaying thy nude form?"
"...w-well, uh…that's…that's just…"
"Personal?"
"...y-yeah. Um, you…you understand, right, Lady Sixti -?"
"No."
"...o-oh."
The silence afterwards was deafening, only occasionally broken by the sound of a Dogoo scare tapping alongside the running water. Sixtia stared at him with a flat expression, elbows resting on the rocks behind her. London observed the water in front of him, unblinking and slightly pale.
"...thou'rt not intending to explain thyself?"
"Um…I'm, um, I'm afraid not."
"...hm."
"...s-sorry."
"Thou'rt in no need to supply an apology. Our curiosity appears to have caused discomfort to thee. If custom is to be judged, surely we are the one to owe apology."
London swallowed nervously. "Look, um, y-you don't need to apologise, it's fine, I, um, it's…it's fine."
"All beings have their secrets; From the mightiest Elder Goddess, to the smallest of Vaders. Thou'rt just as welcome to keep thy secrets as we are our own."
He nodded quietly, flicking his eyes up at her, then back down.
If the silence wasn't bad before, it certainly was now. The only noise came from trickling water, and the light sounds of monks moving through the palace over the wall.
"...thou'rt…amusing, Jack London."
London blinked.
"...uh…thank you?"
"Ye require explanation."
"It would be nice. Um, Lady Sixtia."
The giant woman nods slowly, then looks up to the sky.
"Since the dawn of life in Gamindustri, we have…thought about thy kind. Extra-Gamindustrian beings. When they first came in the form of Vaders, we were ecstatic - life, from beyond. Until they saw fit to rear heads as our adversaries"
"Wait, um…can I ask a question?"
"Thou'rt welcome to."
"Monsters."
"That is not a question. 'Tis a word."
London went red.
"I-I know, um…so, monsters, right? You…made them?"
"No."
London shifted a bit on the rock under the Goddess' flat gaze. Maybe if he just got talking, it could distract him. His gaze returned to the Elder Goddess before him - the Elder Goddess of Gamindustri - and he cleared his throat once more.
"You…didn't make them?"
"We did no such thing, correct." As she spoke, she investigated her nails casually. "Perhaps a leftover, from raw data, once we had constructed the lands and seas. Perhaps we made errors when constructing life. We are...unlikely to ever find out."
Keeping his eyes on her, London made a few attempts to get more comfortable. Rock against his bare ass was pretty odd, all things considered. He'd never been to a hot springs until coming to Gamindustri. Even then, his first time in one ended because he met Cave and decided to leave. Sure, saunas existed - not like he'd never been in one of those - but at least that was wood seating…
"So, uh…they're kind of like aliens, then?"
"...aliens?"
"...y-y'know, um, like…from space. Not from Gamindustri."
At that, Sixtia seemed to pause in thought, taking a long breath…then nodded, and let out a 'Hm.' of satisfaction at the thought. "Thy judgement appears sound to us. This 'space' location remains elusive to us, but we shall make the assumption thou'rt referring to what might be called 'The Above'."
The man on the other side of the hot springs nodded in reply. "If you mean what's above the clouds and sky, then, um, yes, Lady Sixtia."
"Was there 'The Above' in thy homeworld, Jack London?" Sixtia tilted her head at him slightly. Frankly, her body language suggested that she was probably far more interested in Earth than she was letting on with her aloof personality. "Do enlighten us."
London looked at her…then smiled, and nodded. "Sure. Back home, what was…above the world, we called 'Space'. Earth was one planet amongst…uh, I dunno, millions? Billions, maybe? All so far apart that it would take months just to reach the nearest ones. And even from the earliest days of civilization, humans on Earth have just…always been curious about the stars, the sky, and…"
He glanced up at the most astonishingly clear night sky he'd ever seen.
"...well. Whether we were alone."
"...alone?"
"The only life like ours - humans, and animals, I mean - had appeared on Earth. No matter how much lookin' around we did, there wasn't anythin' to suggest that life was anywhere else, beyond…like, y'know. Microbes, bacteria, just stuff that was too small to really count for much beyond scientific curiosity. As far as we could gather, we were probably the only sentient life in the entire galaxy, seein' as there was no evidence to the contrary."
London reached up to scratch his stubble for a moment, thinking, then sighed a bit through his nose.
"...maybe one of those lights up there is my world's sun."
Sixtia observed him for a moment, then spoke plainly. "No."
"...no? Um, what do you mean, Lady Sixtia?"
"Art thou able to hold thy tongue and keep secrecy?" Her gaze on him was pretty piercing as she asked that question. London shifted almost uncomfortably, then nodded. After a moment, Sixtia…smiled?
"The sky is not real."
He blinked, and stared back at her, somewhat confused.
"...n-not, um, not real?"
"Indeed. 'Tis but an illusion we created."
Sixtia reared her head gracefully, looking upwards with a small smirk. "We were…dissatisfied, with the void above. Early iterations of Gamindustri bore this odd sky; Black, with but only the sun or the moon for light. We soon decided to adorn the sky with something beautiful."
She raised a slender arm upwards, exposing her chest a bit to London as she gestured widely to the air. He opted not to look at all and made sure he was simply keeping eyes on her hand as it swept the air at a steady pace, fingertips sparkling slightly.
"Surrounding Gamindustri, we created a box. Within this box, there is art. False constellations; Bright blemishes; The sun, and the moon. And as the days go by in our beloved world, the box simply turns. One side of the world sees our moonlight and stars; The other sees our sunshine and blue skies. The box changes as it sees fit, matching weather, but nevertheless, it provides a much desired array of light and colour to what was once a frighteningly drab sky."
It was such an odd revelation. London had absolutely no idea how to respond to it.
Just…imagine, if you will, that God himself called you for a meeting. And in this meeting, he decided to start telling you how he did everything, like a game developer casually explaining how he let players seamlessly transition between areas, or how he made some places look gigantic despite them being only ten feet from the player character.
At this, London cleared his throat, and awkwardly smiled, chuckling.
"That's…uh, that's pretty smart, actually, Lady Sixtia."
The woman puffed her chest out, resting her arms on the rocks behind her, and closed her eyes smugly. "T'was a stroke of intense genius that has captivated our people for millennia. Few in Gamindustri are privy to such secrets, Jack London - those who produced some of Lowee's finest games in history, spreading our culture to the cultureless."
London nodded slowly, smiling.
"I get the concept. They used to do it on Earth, with our video games."
Sixtia's eyes shot open, and she looked almost excitedly at him, still very obviously quite smug. "Thy world mirrored our techniques?"
"O-Only, uh, more recently. Video games on Earth have only, um, existed for maybe about…um, 40, 50 years, maybe? And I think the idea of, uh, a…a 'skybox', I guess, it must only be in the last 20…"
The Elder Goddess' smile did not fade at all. "Once more, we skip past millions of years of thy evolution to prelude thy techniques with our own.~" For a moment, she gasps, and raises a reassuring hand, very clearly trying not to laugh. "'T-'Tis not a jibe, we assure you."
He chuckled in reply, waving a hand back. "No, no, you're all good, Lady Sixtia, I-I get it. You seem pretty ahead of the curve, on a couple things. Nailed down what humans looked like, then figured out how to make skies easily."
"T'would be even finer, were thou and thine allies not the only visitors our world has had."
At that, London thought for a moment. Then he looked at the sky. Then, he squinted.
"...maybe it's the box?"
"...we beg thy pardon?"
He looked down at her again, and pointed to the sky.
"You, um, you said you wrapped Gamindustri in a big box."
"Yes."
"Doesn't that mean nobody can visit because Gamindustri is in a big box?"
Considering the almost glazed look Sixtia gave him, London developed the odd feeling that, um, nobody had ever pointed that out to her before. Probably best to damage control. He raised both hands from the water, reassuringly, and nervously laughed.
"I-It's OK! I mean, I made it here, right? And that, uh, just means that the sky box is even more worth appreciatin'. It's, uh, really beautiful, Lady Sixtia. Honest."
And as much as he wasn't keen on that stunned stare, London did not like the smile she gave him after his attempt to soothe her nerves.
"Thank you, Jack London. Thy input - and flattery - is much appreciated."
He swallowed nervously.
The Dogoo scare made the same noise as before.
This was going to be a long evening.
THE NEXT MORNING…(?)
Soft.
Soft?
Why was…?
London felt very odd. His back was…kind of sore. The rest of him felt fresh.
Something was covering him.
It was soft.
'...where the Hell am I…?'
His eyes gently fluttered open, attempting to gauge his surroundings.
The light flooded in slowly, with a mild blur punctuated with some movement. Slowly, but surely, he was able to figure out where he was.
A bed? But he thought Nin-Ten Dōji was all futons and bunks.
The light fluttering seemed to be coming from a curtain. And there was…
…what was that smell? It was nice.
London clenched his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, to try and restore vision. His head felt a little bit mushy, but not painful. He must have fallen asleep at some point. Probably best to go and tell Lady Sixtia that -
Something was pinning his right arm down.
Out of sheer confusion, he stopped trying to get up, and stared at it.
A pink blob was taking shape. It wasn't hard to figure out what it was, especially when the pink blob decided to shimmy up to him and let out a soft breath of contentment on his chest. It was a familiar softness, and the reason that he knew the smell suddenly became crystal clear.
'...IF's gonna fucking kill me.'
London swallowed hard, still pretty confused, with worry etching his oddly exhausted face.
"M…Miss Compa…?"
His reponse came in the form of a very sweet little 'Mngh…~', as Compa blearily scrunched up her face for a moment, and then rubbed her eyes sleepily, glancing up dazedly. Then, slowly, she smiled.
"Oh…! Hey..." She paused, to stifle an incredibly cute yawn. "...Mr….Mr. Lunnydunny…!~ Did y'sleep OK…?" London could only stare at her, watching in bewilderment, confusion, and…well, mild endearment as the woman pulled herself back against his chest in a hug.
"I…uh, I don't…?"
Compa giggled slightly, closing her eyes. "Miss Cave brought you in. You were sleeping really heavily and wearing these really weird clothes, so I put you in your normal clothes and tucked you in. I…I figured you wouldn't mind sharing, since I've still not got the apartment heating fixed, and you were in Lowee a few days ago, so you were probably pretty cold."
He furrowed his brow slightly, idly fluffing her hair. "Lowee? Yeah, I…I was in Lowee, on top of Nin-Ten Dōji mountain. And…I vaguely remember…"
Nin-Ten Dōji Palace. Last night. (?)
"Thou'rt welcome to indulge in the sake. 'Tis brewed only for our followers."
"I've, uh, never had any, before."
"We are sure thou shall remain conscious. Thou appear to be of a sturdy build, Jack London."
"That's…reassurin', Lady Sixtia. OK, so it's…I drink from the little bowl, right?"
"Indeed. We shall indulge in perhaps a cup or two, and then ritual shall continue."
"Alright. Um…"
"Kanpai."
"Oh, uh, can pie."
…
"J-Jesus, tha's…that's…wow, I…tha'sh shtr…shtrong, I…I feel…fu…"
"Art thou…? Ah. T'would seem the sake is a slight too strong. Perhaps we should have used only a 4,000-aged bottle, rather than 10,000…"
Darkness.
Compa's apartment. Now.
"...I…I tried some sake with Lady Sixtia. And then I passed out."
Compa gasped slightly, opening her eyes in amazement. "You met Lady Sixtia? Wow! What was she like?" The nurse bristled almost excitedly, shifting against London.
"Uh…!" London blinked a couple of times, rubbing his eyes, then relaxed onto the bed a bit, sighing through his nose. "...tall. Very tall. Probably the, uh, prettiest woman I've ever seen, too. Spoke like a Shakespeare character. I…had a drink with her, and then I passed out, and now I'm in your arms the day after, so…I don't know what happened."
Compa tilted her head. "The day after?" She shifted a little bit, looking at him with worried eyes. "Miss Cave says you went to Nin-Ten Dōji four days ago, and then the ferry here was about two days." The nurse gasped, and smiled sweetly. "Mr. Glovebox, did you really sleep for four days?~ You must've been super-duper sleepy!~"
London blinked a couple of times, and a look of concern crossed his face. "F-Four days…?! I-I was passed out for four days…?!"
Compa awkwardly chuckled, scratching her cheek slightly. "A-Actually, if you wanna be meta, Mr. Lovebun, i-it was kinda more like nine months, eheh…~"
He gave a concerned stare…then sighed, rubbing his eyes, and freeing himself from the comfortable cuddle of Compa. "Christ, I…I dunno what happened. I gotta…I should go do summat." As London sat up, freeing himself from the soft blankets and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to stretch a bit, the odd ache on his back continued. Grimacing a bit, he reached back…then sucked air through his teeth.
'Sunburn? What?'
"Ow…?" London patted at his back. The skin felt…painful. Had he fallen, on something? Maybe something whilst he was unconscious? What…happened? Compa cleared her throat a bit, bundling the blankets up to her own chest, and sitting up.
"Um…can I ask a teeny question, Mr. Loondumb?"
He rolled his neck a bit, clicking it, then nodded, licking his lips slightly. "Uh…yeah, sure, go ahead, Miss Compa."
"Where did you get the Planeptunian tattoo from?"
London furrowed his brow, pausing.
"...tattoo?"
"Mm. The one on your back. Did, um, you get it in Leanbox, maybe?"
"I never got a tattoo. I've…" His eyes slowly widened, and he stood up, walking over to the mirror on the other side of the room. "No way."
Well, sure enough, he looked physically fine. Quite scarred, as ever, but as he turned on the spot to look at his back…there it was. In big, bold and black characters, starting between his shoulder blades and finishing in the crook of his back: 塔の惨劇.
Touno Sangeki: The Scourge of the Tower.
He gasped, and let out a quiet whimpering noise. "A-A tattoo…?! I-I didn't want a tattoo, when did I…?! Who…?!" After staring at it, he looked back at Compa, slightly pale. "When did this happen?!"
The nurse yelped a little bit, nervously lifting the sheets to cover half of her face. "I-I dunno, you came in with it…! Miss Cave, um, brought you here, and we've been hanging out a little for the last couple of days, looking after you, s-so maybe she knows…?" She watched London for a moment or two, as he just gawped at his new body decoration in the mirror. Finally, he groaned.
"...where's Cave? I'll have to ask her."
"She was sleeping on the couch. She wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, but said she didn't wanna make me uncomfortable." Compa tilted her head a little, slightly lowering the blankets. "Do, um, do you two cuddle up at night?"
"We…!" London turned with some haste, then stopped himself, clearing his throat, and going a tad red. "...w-we, um…do. Sometimes."
'Most nights.'
"I-It's the same as it is here. It's…it's just easier to sleep."
'Woman practically knocks me out by huggin' me. Dunno how well she sleeps…'
"Purely platonic."
'I hope.'
The pink-haired girl observed him talking, then offered her usual, pleasant smile, nodding a little. "That's great!" Compa beamed. "I'm glad you're sleeping better, Mr. Glovebox. It's a big step for you to get a normal sleeping pattern! Now all we gotta do is stop you from always hurting yourself when you go do quests and stuff, and we'll be all peachy.~"
London honestly couldn't help but chuckle as he began getting dressed.
"Wish I had your optimism, Miss Compa. Thanks."
Frankly, putting his clothes on with a fresh tattoo was more painful than he'd expected. When Luke had gotten that stupid tattoo of the word 'TOMBSTONE' on his forearm, London remembered that Luke hadn't been able to wear a long-sleeved shirt for days afterwards. Then again, it was kind of like having sunburn and someone just pushing on it. Painful but survivable, obviously. Not preferable, but he supposed this was just gonna have to be 'it' for a couple of days.
By the time he was dressed, with the clock reaching about 8:00AM, Compa had hopped into the shower to get ready for work. Given that she had said she'd washed her 'patient' herself ("Just like in hospital!~ I hope you don't mind!"), London's internal shrieking about what she'd touched took second fiddle to him simply deciding it was appreciated, and instead headed into the living room of the apartment to see Cave.
Sure enough, the redhead was there, and as he expected from her - given what he sometimes woke up to - she was doing exercises.
Cave's expression radiated a pretty intense focus as she cranked out a whole bunch of perfect-form pushups, alternating every ten to one-handed pushups, then back to normal. The woman was really going for it, and London was, despite already knowing about it, now very understanding as to how she had the physique that she did; Abs to cut diamond and arms that could headlock him into unconsciousness.
"Mornin'."
Aaand the rhythm was gone.
Cave double-took at the voice, letting out a 'H-Huh…?!' of surprise, and faltering in one-handed pushups, accidentally shoving herself onto her side, wherein she looked at London in surprise and shock…before rolling her eyes, and smiling with a sigh.
"Good grief, look who finally decided to wake up," Cave chuckled, propping herself up on one side. "Enjoy your sleep?"
"Whether I wanted to or not?" London groaned, sitting on the couch. Cave continued her exercises, moving on to air-pedalling. "I…I dunno what happened."
"What happened, London, is that you were as drunk as a Wyrm," she replied, barely even vocalizing any exertion from her exercises, propping her bum up and legs cycling in the air. "You appeared in the Loweean Basilicom with all of your equipment in a flash of light, fast asleep, and when the Basilicom doctor was checking you over, you had a blood-alcohol content of 0.500%."
He listened, then blinked.
"That's…um, high."
"0.400% is lethal."
"Ah."
Cave offered him a worried, yet clearly relieved smile. "I'm glad you survived. What the Hell did you drink, up there?" London thought for a moment at the question, scraping his brain for the answer.
"...well…I can vaguely remember that, uh…Lady Sixtia gave me some of that Japanese wine stuff."
"Jap…?" Cave trailed off a little, leg raised above her head, then gave an understanding nod. "Ah. You mean Planeptunian? That would beeeee…saké. Rice wine."
"Yeah, that stuff. Sake."
"Saké."
"Sake."
"It's pronounced 'saké'. There's an accent above the 'e'."
"Like cafe?"
"You mean like café, right?"
"...yes? If I say yes, will that stop you havin' an aneurysm?"
"Probably not. Face another direction for a moment."
"What?"
"I'm doing glute stretches and I don't want you staring, if such a risk exists."
"Wh…oh. OK."
London did turn on the couch, lying on his back to face upwards, Cave out of view. He wouldn't do that anyway, but whatever made her feel more comfortable.
"So, um…I have a question." London's eyes remained glued to the ceiling, legs crossed and hands behind his head.
"Go ahead." Cave's butt was in the air, fingertips touching her toes.
"Where'd the tattoo come from?"
"Probably Lady Sixtia."
"W…What?"
Cave adjusts her stance, taking a steadying breath as the burn begins in her legs. "A-Ah…well, I looked it up. A-Apparently she sometimes pens tattoos on very trusted visitors or guests who interest her."
"...without asking?"
"Are you to complain about a tattoo from the Eldest Goddess herself?"
London furrowed his brow, giving the 'Really?' gesture with a hand. "...yes? I didn't want a tattoo."
"Hm. I would personally consider it an honour to receive such personal attention from Lady Sixtia, but…I…also suppose you're not keen on such extremely intimate interactions."
London sighed through his nose, as Cave briefly stopped stretching to look at him.
"...I'm sorry. I should have considered how you would feel about it."
"It's fine, Cave. Don't worry. Just…don't worry."
"...if you're sure."
The silence wasn't exactly comforting to either of them. Only natural that it was broken by London clearing his throat, as ever.
"...so, uh…what're we doin', today?"
Cave continued her routine, shifting to abdominal exercises, and began grunting a little bit, as she pondered his question whilst carrying out sit-ups. "H-Hmm...well, you c-could…visit Miss Histo-a-ah-re…?"
At the grunting, London smirked in confusion, and looked at her quizzically. "You alright there? Sounded like you were halfway through forcin' a dump." At the apex of her sit-up, Cave offered a strained smile, frowning and turning a bit red as sweat dripped from her forehead.
"A-And you sound like you're halfway to an accident involving my foot and your groin, London."
"Ha."
Cave simply clucked her tongue, and sucked air through her teeth, continuing the sit-ups at a steady rate, hands behind her head.
"If you insist. S-Sleep with an eye open, then."
Despite the obviously friendly banter, London's threat detecting instincts went absolutely batshit. Undoubtedly an alarming moment for the man, who opted to get straight to cooking breakfast for Cave and Compa.
Planeptune Basilicom. Probably about two hours later.
Considering the time of day, transit to the Planeptune Basilicom was pretty much painless, beyond people stopping London to get his autograph. Naturally, he didn't mind, and Cave was at least happy if he was happy, but damn, if it didn't add some extra minutes to the travel time. That said, by the time they'd reached the building and were walking onto the elevator platform, the two were pretty engrossed in a casual argument.
The topic: Whether they made the right choice with Daisy. Not with getting her, oh no, Cave had already run through that with London several times, but lost her edge when Daisy fell asleep on her lap. This time, it was about…
"I don't think it was a good idea." Cave spoke plainly, eyes ahead as the elevator raised up steadily, hands behind her back. London just rolled his eyes, sighing through his nose, but faced the same direction as his bodyguard.
"Cave, she'll be fine with her."
She offered him a pretty incredulous look. "You left a baby bunny in the hands of a woman who spends a lot of time fawning over you. Will she even remember to look after Daisy?"
"Look, Lady Sigrun said she'd look after Daisy. I don't think she'd lie about that. She doesn't seem like a liar."
"Oh, by no means, am I calling Lady Sigrun a liar. All I'm suggesting is that perhaps she's a little too friendly with you to remember to focus on looking after Daisy." Naturally, London furrowed his brow as Cave explained her side. "I'm certain that even Chika would have been a better choice. Or perhaps Lady Blanc, or the Loweean Candidates."
"...I am not givin' summat so precious and squishy to Chika. And Rom and Ram - sweet as they are - are probably too young to look after a baby rabbit." Cave raised her brow a little, but gave a small nod of understanding. "Daisy'll be fine, Cave. Lady Sigrun promised to look after her, and was carryin' her everywhere before we left. She was nice to me, so I figure she'll be nice to Daisy, too."
The woman looked up at him with a fairly flat expression, then finally sighed through her nose. "If you insist."
"...Cave?"
"Yes?"
"Do…uh, do you have a problem with Lady Sigrun?"
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. It's of no real concern to you, though. You have plenty to worry about, at the moment. I'll not shovel my woes onto your plate." The fact Cave wore her usual, stoic expression wasn't really helping London determine how much she was downplaying it.
'I'll just guess.'
"...is it a jealousy thing?"
"What, no." Cave's gaze very sharply shifted up to him, prompting London to jump a little bit. Realizing that she may have just given herself away, the redhead paused, sighed, and looked ahead again. "...hmph. You got me."
London just straightened up slightly, and tilted his head at her. "What's to, uh, be jealous about? She's really nice."
"You spent a lot of time with her, in Leanbox. Certainly warmed up to Lady Sigrun faster than you did to me, and she warmed up to you faster than I did to you." She chuckled a little bit as the elevator neared the top. "And she didn't even need to enter a life-or-death gunfight by your side, to do it."
Her taller, male companion certainly looked a couple of feet less confident than he did before, not quite carrying himself the same as she said that. London pursed his lips for a moment in thought. "Well…look, I, uh, I'm sorry. I guess she, uh…"
Cave simply smiled, waving a hand as the elevator came to a halt in front of the Basilicom's living quarter doors. "It's fine, London. Please, don't worry about it. Just the moodiness of this old fool, is all." He gave a mildly disheartened look to Cave as she did her usual, unfazed expression, waiting for the doors to be opened.
"...you're not old, Cave."
"Eh?"
"You're not old. You're thirty-two. That's not even middle-aged."
At this, the woman's facade broke a little, and she looked at him in…what, confusion? Amazement? London, meanwhile, just offered a pretty normal gaze at her.
"Why would I ever think you're old? Older than me, sure, but…like, that's just a thing. I could look on the street and see like a hundred people who're only a few years older than me. You're not old." He tilted his head a bit. "Don't put yourself down like that."
Cave looked pretty bewildered, flushing slightly red as she stared up at his eyes, trying to seek out that normal glimmer of wickedness whenever he was teasing. But…it wasn't there. "I…I don't understand. I have the beginnings of Phoenix's Feet around my eyes, surely that's a sign that I'm getting too old."
He shrugged in reply. "I think they're cute. It makes your eyes look friendly when you're not doin' your normal hard squint."
Frankly, London wasn't really sure he'd ever seen Cave turn the same shade of red as her hair. That said, it certainly wasn't an unwelcome sight, as Cave seemed to stammer something in response, trying to search for a good comeback or answer, then sort of just gripped her hands tightly behind her back and looked straight down, in silence.
All in all? Cause for a smile.
London chuckled, patting her on the shoulder as he walked past, the doors sliding open as he went. "I ain't teasin'. Calm down, just a compliment, Cave." The woman kept a few paces behind him, still blushing pretty furiously as they headed into the Planeptune Basilicom's CPU living area.
Honestly, now that London had a moment or two to look at it? Pretty nice. Plush purple carpeting, and walls that were an odd mix of mauve and heather paint, occasionally broken up by wine-red doorframes, and sometimes even metal sliding doors that simply weren't really even painted, just slightly tinted pink-ish.
Unlike the interior decorating of the other Basilicoms, it was less…classical. Rather than ornate furnishings, big roof murals and extravagant marble in places, the Planeptunian Basilicom was very much the modern place you'd expect, especially when compared to the rest of the building. Metal plating on some furniture, high-end appliances, each door with a digital lock, and a huge glass window that spanned the entire outside of the main living space that accommodated a dining area, living area, and the modest kitchen.
Personally, not quite to London's taste, but then again, it wasn't his place to say anything. Apparently, this Basilicom had looked that modern since the time Japan had managed to figure out how to grow rice in 1,000BC, back on Earth.
So, y'know. It's, uh, pretty old.
Nevertheless, it felt just as lived-in as any fancy apartment did. London was sure to enter politely, calling out as he entered the living room with Cave in tow, as something rolled along on the huge TV. "Miss Histoire? Lady Neptune, Lady Nepgear? We're, uh, we're here! It's London and Miss Cave!"
The response was reasonably quick, coming in the form of Neptune popping her head up from the couch, waving at them with her usual indifferent beaming smile. "Yo! There he is, the old man and his bodyguard!~ How ya doin', big guy?"
London chuckled, and raised a hand in a wave, which Neptune just decided to high-five, instead. He looked at it in brief confusion, then lowered it. "Uh…we're doin' good, Lady Neptune. All good. You?" The girl just cheerfully folded her arms on the back of the couch, resting on it.
"We're all gucci in here! Nep Jr.'s in her room and Histy's in the office. I dunno what those two're doin', but I'm grindin' out some Triumph Sovereigns on Bunkerdusk!~"
The two people staring at her blinked in unison.
"...pardon, Lady Neptune?" Cave finally said, cautiously.
"You hurt your what, sorry?" London asked, squinting.
Neptune just snorted, pointing at the TV. Sure enough, the cartoonishly big text 'TRIUMPH SOVEREIGN!' was plastered on the screen, with what appeared to be a cartoonish rendition of Purple Heart doing a suspiciously familiar dance. London wasn't sure why, but he hated what he was seeing, deciding not to vocalize it.
"...that's, uh, you, on the screen?"
"Yep!~" Neptune span on the couch, plopping back onto the cushions and picking up her controller again to navigate the menus as her match presumably ended. "Best part of being a CPU is that you get all these sweet license deals for nothin', and it raises Shares! Pretty neat, huh?"
London nodded, watching as she joined a lobby with some people with weird usernames. One of them appeared to be using a character that looked like Noire; One was decked out in armour that looked like those PERSIANs from Leanbox; The other was some lady with a Horsebird mask on her head and a bikini marked with the Planeptune emblem.
'What the Hell are those skins, man…? Isn't this a shooter?'
"I, uh…yeah, I guess it -"
Neptune wasted no time.
"Wanna hop on the sticks for a match?" She looked back up at him, eagerly. "Promise I'll go easy on ya, old man.~" He raised a brow in response, Cave also looking slightly unimpressed by the Planeptunian CPU's comment.
'I will never believe any rumour that this girl almost managed to destroy the 343rd.'
"Uh…no thanks, Lady Neptune," London replied, shaking his head. "I'm, uh, I'm actually here about work." The CPU's shoulders fell a little, and she rolled her eyes, facing the screen again. "What?"
"Never thought you were all that much of a workaholic, Loondumb," Neptune whistled, beginning to load into a match and crossing her legs on the couch. "Thought ya'd tone it down a lil', after you busted your foot on those bad guys' keisters a little while ago." The man behind her folded his arms, looking down at her.
Really, it never stopped surprising him: This girl was in charge of a nation that was on a tech level the entirety of Earth wouldn't reach for maybe another few thousand years. Frankly, he didn't quite feel as surprised to know that the people bickering over British leadership when he left Earth stood a chance at being in charge.
At least Neptune had probably never even been near a pig…
"Mr. Loondumb?"
The voice rang out from the other side of the room, getting the interest of both Cave and London. Neptune - as ever - had managed to tune it out. The unmistakable tone and tome of Planeptune's Oracle appeared from the office attached to the side of the living area, and Histoire offered the two a calm smile, which was returned in kind.
"Hey there, Miss Histoire," London chuckled, waving and moving to approach her. "Been a little bit, hasn't it?" The small woman nodded, and extended both hands to shake his finger in their usual greeting.
"It certainly has," the fairy replied, before extending her hands towards Cave, as though expecting a hug. "And Miss Cave; Always a pleasure." She looked…briefly confused, but decided to follow London's example, rather than her immediate and odd instinct to pick Histoire up for a hug. Cave's hand was considerably smaller than London's, making it much easier to shake Histoire's tiny little ones
"I-Indeed, Oracle Histoire," she said with a mild stiffness. "I apologize for bringing work at this hour."
"Oh, nonsense," Histoire beamed, clasping her hands in her lap and smiling. The fairy kept her elevation at roughly between their head heights. "I'd almost argue that with Mr. Loondumb's good track record, I'm about to have some work resolved." He nodded, smirking.
"Right you are. I'm here in the country. Is there stuff, needs doin'?"
She nodded in reply. "There certainly is, if you had nothing else planned."
Cave raised a hand slightly in reply. "I'd argue that London plans his visits around work, and himself second."
"Hey, come on!" he laughed defensively, "It's what I agreed on with the CPUs, ain't it? I do work for 'em until the treaty?" Histoire giggled a bit, and nodded again.
"That's correct, but I'd like to think you overpaid your side of the deal with the Tower Incident. I think they owe you a fair bit more than you'd like to think." London just waved a hand dismissively, and Cave - as ever - rolled her eyes, smiling at the fact he was either being selfless, or intentionally downplaying his role for ego reasons.
'I've begun to have doubts it's for ego.'
"Nah, a deal's a deal. I can chase up rebates later. For now? All yours. What's the situation?" London clapped his hands, rubbing them together and rolling his shoulders a little bit. Histoire smirked, and gestured for them to follow into the office.
It was a pretty interesting affair; A desk atop a desk. Where Neptune's (very clearly unused) desk sat with dust on it and a work PC that had likely not been turned on in quite some time, Histoire had her own arrangement: A small desk of her own, in the same wood as the one it rested on, and had an N-Gear arranged as though it were a laptop. There were normal sized pens in a pot next to it - a myriad of what London assumed to be pens that Neptune must have gathered in her myriad appearances around Gamindustri - and some sheets of full-sized paper next to a comically small notepad that must have been specifically designed for Histoire herself.
Moving her tome up to the desk, Histoire began typing on the N-Gear, and then pointed to the screen as London and Cave hovered behind her. "Here," she began, "The Guild recently messaged me to ask if I had contact with you. When I said 'yes', they asked if you could do a quest with some other people at the Guild; Get them enthused about the idea of progressing in the ranks. Apparently, they're all very fond of you over there, Mr. Loondumb."
Cave glanced at London as they looked at the screen. "Entry-level quests seem fine. I'm sure I can leave you to those."
"Actually, Miss Cave, they were requesting something a little more intense, specifically. It's…" Histoire seemed to search for the words, then scrolled up the document a little, looking concerned. "...ahem. 'We've been seeing a lot of our more seasoned members and 'weekenders' turning up less and less, and doing less quests. We're not quite sure why, but maybe the recent spate of terrorist incidents has dissuaded them due to the risk. Perhaps having Mr. London show off a little might encourage some of them that progress is really worth it'."
London furrowed his brow as she read, stroking his beard. "Well, at least they spelled my name right, and you said it right…"
"Hm?" Histoire turned at his voice. "What was that, Mr. Loondumb?"
"Never mind."
The woman next to him folded her arms, raising a brow. "But London isn't even that high in the Guild, anyway. How many stars are you on, London?" To reply, he withdrew his Guild I.D, looking at it.
It was a simple affair, not unlike a passport or driving licence. Across the top, it read 'GAMINDUSTRI ADVENTURERS' GUILD' in bold text. On the left, a photo of him before he looked like he'd been thrown through the woodchipper that was the Tower Incident; On the right, his name, age (listed as 'N/A', apparently since the date he was born on Earth didn't make sense in Gamindustri), residence (again, 'N/A'), his 'specialty' (listed as 'Combat (All Types Except Magic)'), and - most relevant - his 'Experience'.
'Experience' in the Guild was measured in a simple way: Stars. When you took on a quest, the quest had a 'Star' rating, used to measure difficulty. 1-Star quests were usually either menial collection quests or very minor pest control; 10-Star quests were possibly society-threatening dangers that needed equally dangerous people to kick their ass and save the day.
London had found his preference in the 5 - 8 Star region, occasionally dabbling in 9-Star quests whenever he felt like it, much to Cave's irritation. That said, couldn't complain about the pay, and he certainly couldn't complain about the fact he just felt cool as Hell by doing really dangerous quests, throwing out one-liners, and teaming up with equally danger-blind strangers with wild skillsets to kick some serious ass together.
At that point, London was sat at a fairly impressive…um, 1,534 stars.
"Only 1,534."
Cave blinked.
"What?"
"...1,534? Says here, look."
He showed her his Guild I.D, and she stared in disbelief, refraining from swiping it as she studied it. Histoire offered a somewhat incredulous look, not quite believing him.
"...Goddess above, you're not even lying. How have you done that, may I ask? Within these four or five months?" London shrugged in reply.
"Well…y'know, I just kinda pick up a bunch of quests I can do on the go. Pick stuff up, send people's parcels, kill the Dragon wanderin' about on their lawn…that kinda stuff. I've my day to day routines, and I do quests as I see a chance to. I take it that's a lot?"
Cave raised a brow in bemusement, smirking as she handed the little pass back to him. "Well, it's certainly more than most people do. I was a member of the Guild on the side whilst I was in the infantry. On and off, over about six years, I managed maybe about 500 or so."
"...ah."
A pause.
London finally sniffed, and gave a smug grin.
"Guess I'm just on that big ol' grind, ain't I?"
Histoire giggled again. "Were you perhaps doing quests in the 9 months it took you to get here?"
"I'm afraid I refuse to dignify that with a reply, Miss Histoire."
The Oracle and Cave simply chuckled at the response.
Planeptune Guild. That afternoon.
With Cave placated by an offer from Nepgear to go shopping - apparently an effort to thank her for selflessly protecting her in the Tower - London headed to the Guild alone. It was certainly less fancy than Leanbox's Guild building; The almost train station-like aesthetic was gone, instead replaced by an almost Star Trek-like building with holographic screens, displays, and glass galore. The people coming in and out of here looked very much different to the adventurers of Leanbox, often packing swords and other practically fantasy-esque weapons instead of the mighty guns of a Leanboxian adventurer, but all were more than happy to see London as he passed them by.
Smiles and waves all the way, as London headed to a terminal. Apparently, the quest was 'loaded' onto his I.D already, meaning he just had to tap it on the usual little contactless reader. His first visit here, no doubt, had been somewhat annoying, since this kind of technology hadn't even existed on Earth, so it took some time to figure out.
This time? Smooth sailing, he just tapped his I.D on the card reader and -
ALERT: Quest requires group (x4 Party Members)
"...eh?"
He tried again.
ALERT: Quest requires group (x4 Party Members)
London frowned.
"This is new…"
He tried again.
ALERT: What Did I Just Say, Dumbass?
The man sighed, and shrugged, raising both hands in mild irritation. "Fine, fine…" he muttered, glancing around. "Party, huh? Right, let's see…"
His immediate response was quite simple: Call his friends. Taking out his N-Gear, and not wanting to bother Cave, he slipped into the group chat on FaceBlanc.
Lucas Black: so i'm meant to be seeing her tomorrow night but she's like
Lucas Black: y'know
James Hillman: clapped as fuck?
Lucas Black: yeah lol, i don't know HOW fuckin drunk i was but jesus christ on a bike
James Hillman: LMAO
Joshua Monoplie: Well, at least you're having fun.
Jack London: Lucas Black James Hillman Joshua Monoplie Chaz (Pilot) Gents
Lucas Black: fucker
James Hillman: ye?
Joshua Monoplie: Yes?
Chaz (Pilot): ye?
Jack London: So I'm at the Guild
Jack London: And I am informed in no uncertain terms that I need a party for a quest
Jack London: Any of you lads fancy helping?
Chaz (Pilot): can't, i'm training LS pilots
Joshua Monoplie: I can't, sorry. I'm giving a talk at the Lastationese College of Fashion later.
James Hillman: nah pal i cant, busy wi mina and the twins
James Hillman: wait hold the fuck on why are you givin talks to fashionistas
Lucas Black: phwoooooar go on, in there my son, find a handsome twink who has a sewing machine to make you a dress
Jack London: LMAO he only went and found the BIGGEST place to find a boyfriend
Joshua Monoplie: Uh, I have one already? Have none of you even been checking my Nepchat?
Lucas Black: nah mate, i dont wanna see ur dick lol
James Hillman: sorry daddy i missed some uploads :3
Jack London: James never say that again, Josh stop being so hilariously stereotypical, also congrats
Joshua Monoplie: It was last month. But thanks.
Lucas Black: do you want me to speak with my accent
Jack London: Speak however you want, I just need someone to help with this quest, we'll need two more people
Joshua Monoplie: Ask your MILF friend.
James Hillman: LMAO gottem
Lucas Black: done you there jack lmao
Jack London: Hardy-har. I'll be sure to pass her your message and provide her a bucket to throw up in. Just come to the Planeptune Guild.
Lucas Black: ez, see you there and i'll bring my proper accent this time
Jack London: What the fuck do you mean?
James Hillman: he's meant to be irish and i'm meant to be welsh, but neither of us speak like we're meant to speak
James Hillman: the author could at LEAST type with the fucking accents
Jack London: Oh, fuck off, not you, too
Joshua Monoplie: I'm alright. I just speak without abbreviating every letter '-ing' I say at the end of words, unlike your dialogue.
Jack London: Don't you start
Jack London: Luke how long will you be? Aren't you in Leanbox?
Lucas Black: is alright, i'll use the guild teleporter, there in like 15 boyo
London frowned at the last comment.
"Guild…teleporter?"
He looked up, and around. Truth be told, he'd never really bothered looking around these Guild buildings, beyond surface-level details and finding the bathrooms. Apparently, some of them had coffee shops, weapon stores, blacksmiths, first aid bays, potion stores…
…all stuff he would probably use, if he bothered to look for them.
And apparently, according to Luke, they had teleporters; Something he was doubtful of. Luke was probably in Planeptune already, the cheeky fucker, and just wanted to fuck with him.
Nevertheless, London continued scrolling…until another ping came up.
'A text?'
Hot Tomboy: look up
Ah.
Smirking, London flicked his eyes up across the room, from where he was currently sitting at one of the many chairs and tables in the lobby area. Sure enough, striding confidently towards him, breaking off from a group that she was with, Falcom approached, guitar case slung across her back as ever, and wearing that familiar, confident smirk. Dumping the case on the table as London stood up, she opened her arms, chuckling.
"Briiiing it in, ya big lug!~"
He laughed, returning the hug and once more pouring fucking petrol on the rumours already circulating the Guild. "Ahhh, Falc, it's been a bit, ain't it?"
"Hey, only 9 months, right?" she smiled, ruffling the back of his hair, finishing the hug, then leaning on the edge of the table as he sat back down. "Whatcha doin' here, then? Work?"
"Work as ever," London replied, sighing. "Need a party of four for a quest."
"Huh, fair enough," Falcom whistled, checking her nails. "Beats me, where you're gonna find your designated swordsperson who you can back-and-forth with."
"..."
"..."
"...are…are you sayin' you wanna join -"
"Yep. What's the quest?"
Internally, London laughed.
'Easy enough. I like Falcom. Don't think she turns down Guild work.'
"Well, apparently," he began, as the young woman sat down opposite him, "The Guild saw a bunch of monsters congregating next to a construction site that was tied to a motorway tunnel downtown."
"Motorway tunnel?" Falcom asked, raising a brow.
"...highway. Forgot you're all Americans."
"What?"
"Never mind. Anyway, they said they saw monsters, and some people wanderin' around with them, actin' sketchy. Quest is to go nosey, kill the monsters, see if we can find any of the people. Six stars." Falcom listened intently, rubbing her chin, then finally shrugged, nodding approvingly.
"Hey, sounds easy. Not like we haven't dealt with monsters before, right? Besides, if those people are hanging around with monsters, we can just assume they're bad guys."
London smiled. "True. People don't tame monsters?"
"Sometimes they do. But it's complicated. I think the Guild trainer for Lowee does it, but she's, like…y'know, SUPER into it. I hear she has a pet Fenrir."
"Jesus. I've only ever had to beat the shit out of those things. How can you keep them as pets?" The tomboy's response was to simply go 'Pfffffft' and shrug, grinning.
"Beats the snot outta me, I just swing a sword, guy."
"True. So that makes three of us; I've Luke involved, too."
Falcom pursed her lips in thought. "Is…uh, was he one of those guys from back in the Forza Region?"
"Yeah. He, uh…you remember the guy with the C4?"
"Oh. OH, that guy?" The woman's expression turned to one of moderate - severe disgust. "He stank of cigarettes and talked weird."
"Well…y'know, uh, get used to it, unfortunately. He's one of the best I know for crowd clearance and explosives." Falcom raised a brow in reply, leaning on the table and idly scratching at a small chip on it with one of her fingernails. London watched her for a moment, then gave a short gesture to her. "Besides, did you have anyone in mind?"
"Well…no. Not really," she sighed, watching her usual group begin heading to the locker rooms. "Just got back from a quest. My guys were pretty pooped afterwards, so I don't think any of them would be up for round two." Idly, Falcom unclipped the guitar case, with the glistening steel of the sword becoming visible to London. She removed a rag from her short jacket's top pocket, and began to wipe some visible blue gunk off the sword. "Bunch of Dogoos. All the colours. Mindy got turned into one, Kuba threw up a bunch because a Yellow one jumped on his face, green one melted Steph's favourite hat, so they're all pretty exhausted and upset."
London furrowed his brow.
Dogoos.
From all he knew? Blue and slimy. He never really came across them that much, come to think of it. Maybe the places he normally did quests just…didn't have them? Or other monsters killed them? He wasn't sure. Either way, being turned into one didn't sound ideal.
"Is, uh, Mindy alright?"
"Oh? Oh, sure. Cure Potion, she was right as rain, once we got our pictures to laugh at later."
He rolled his eyes, smiling. "Ever the saint, Falc."
The response was her usual, somewhat indifferent, 'genki' smirk, and an innocent shrug. "Hey! Take smiles where ya can, right? Besides, they're pretty amateur. I like working with you, you picked up your stuff pretty fast, and you can handle yourself."
London shrugged himself, leaning back in the seat a bit and offering a small wave and thumbs up to a group that were leaving for a quest, then looking back to Falcom. "Well, y'know. The better I do, the less hassle it is for anyone I'm with. Besides, Luke's pretty good, too. I can handle long - short range shootin' and help you with up-close filth, he can handle bombs and mid - long shootin', you can do a little bit of magic and swing that sword like a champ…"
He paused. Falcom drummed a finger a little, then a knowing smile crossed her face.
"...you're trying to figure out what we're missing?"
"...well, yeah. Good to think on these things. You got any ideas?"
The woman took a long, thoughtful breath, clipping her sword case shut and resting both elbows on the table. "Mmmm…well, I…guess most parties have healers, sometimes? A paramedic'd be good, or anyone who knows how to make potions." London almost mirrored her pose, raising a brow.
"What about a mage?"
"A mage? Pfft. Good luck. They're hot property, or fly solo. Not too many of them, really."
"Really?"
"Mmhmm. Nobody's sure why, but I guess people just got bored of magic, or something."
"Then why do you know it?"
Falcom grinned, raising her left hand, and a small light flickered in it, dancing between her fingers.
"Saves my phone battery for when I need a flashlight. Also gets me drinks at bars."
London laughed heartily in response, watching the small white orb flip between her fingertips as a few people glanced over to see why he was chortling. "Is that it?"
"No, by no means, 'is that it'!" Falcom replied, beaming with smugness, and raising her other hand. "I can do it with my left hand, too."
He simply laughed even harder.
Ten minutes later…
By the time Luke showed up, Falcom had decided to show London that yes - indeed - there was a teleporter system. He was already gawping at it as Luke simply emerged, dusting some datadust off himself as he noticed them, walking over.
"For fuck's sake, this was here the whole time?!" London cried. "Do you know how many boat and train journeys I would've saved myself with this bloody thing?" Falcom, in her truly understanding way, was leaning on a pillar, absolutely killing herself with laughter at London's genuine rage.
"I-I just thought you were really into your…! Your fucking scenic train rides and shit!" she wheezed, doubled over. As Luke approached, she wiped some tears away, and gestured to London, looking at him. "Hey, hey Black, this guy's been taking boats and trains and shit the whole time he's been here!"
As a few people nearby conceal their own laughter, Luke simply joined in without any reservation.
"Aw, ye feckin' idiot!" he snorted, slapping London on the shoulder. "What've ye been feckin' doin' that for, ya thicko?!"
London groaned, squinting in irritation at Luke. "Oh, don't fuckin' tell me that's how you're gonna speak from now on…"
"It is how oi speak, fer yer information! Oi figure t' author's just been forgettin', t'lazy fucker!" The Irishman - in his full, text-accented glory - points at the author in the sky. "Get yer act t'gether, ya fucken' bell-end, oi've been arsin' about fer noine feckin' months!"
As Luke got the horrible, overbearing feeling that insulting the being dictating his reality wasn't a good idea, London groaned, rubbing his face. "Why…when did this exist? Why?"
"It's existed the entire time," Falcom sighed, still wiping away tears and straightening up. "The Guild's had a teleporter system for a long time. Same as the Basilicoms. Congrats, dumbass, you just unlocked fast travel."
His eyes widened. "Are you fuckin' with me?! The BASILICOMS have teleporters, too?!"
The laughter in the room returned once more, but much louder, this time.
Five minutes later…
"OK, so, whilst we wait for a third, let's figure out our route," Falcom began, looking at the map on the table they were at earlier. Before she continued, she smirked at London, and seemed to be about to say something…then just had to try and stop herself from laughing, sighing and looking back down at the paper with a grin on her lips, clearly straining not to start laughing again.
London drummed a finger in irritation. "What?"
"Oh…nothing."
"It was summat. What was it?"
"Well…p-pfft." Falcom swallowed, sharing a look with Luke. "I-I was, uh, gonna ask i-if you wanted the scenic route, because you -"
"Fuck off," he said bluntly, rubbing his eyes as the two others at the table started laughing again. "Just figure out the easiest route. I'm gonna go buy potions." As he got up, and started following the signage for the on-site shop, Luke called out after him.
"Make sure ye buy a disposable camera, ye feckin' tourist!"
People laughed, again, as the large man disappeared around the corner.
The Guild had a good few corridors and hallways; Basically, leaving the lobby was almost like heading into one of those single-story shopping malls, where there were shops and stalls either side. London had never actually been out of the lobby, since he'd normally just grab his quests, take a piss in the toilets, then leave. To know there were actually shops and stuff?
Convenient.
His pace slowed a little as he explored, walking forwards down the futuristic-looking arcade of shops, and eyes wandering the myriad of shops Planeptune's Guild had to offer. They really did cover all disciplines; There was a small shop selling magical items for just exorbitant prices, a larger unit selling guns and parts, and another that looked like a boutique, but all the mannequins were wearing body armour and weird clothes. At the back of that one, however, there was a single desk, with a bunch of glass bottles behind it, and text above it reading 'PAULIE'S POTIONS'.
'Oh. Perfect.'
London broke off from his trudge along the main parade of shops, heading into the boutique and passing through it. Nothing really caught his eye, beyond the fact things seemed to be very neatly organized into preferred aesthetics. He had more than enough tactical gear, and he'd really look a bit daft in spandex and leather, so he moved through without much further thought on the clothes.
However, it was as he neared the back, he came across a very…interesting sight.
A black-haired girl - probably only about his age, maybe a little younger - was standing in a black vest, with an orange industrial jumpsuit tied around her waist. She seemed deep in thought about one of the mannequins standing on a podium, which bore a VERY large wizard hat, and nothing else. Her purple-eyed gaze appeared locked on it, very obviously thinking about it.
But that wasn't the thing he was interested in. What really caught him was the fact this girl was probably even more fucking jacked than some of the PERSIANs back in Leanbox. Like, an ungodly level of muscle, beyond even Cave's athleticism. Clearly, the girl was some kind of bodybuilder.
Whilst he didn't plan to say anything as he passed, she glanced at him, and…well, that was it.
The girl's eyes widened, and she double-taked at the man near her. "S-Shit, Jack London?" she gasped, chuckling a bit. "No freakin' way. Never thought I'd see you in person." London smirked, snorting through his nose and stopped to look at her, extending a hand.
"In the flesh," he replied casually. The girl responded enthusiastically to the handshake, gripping it with some force.
'Jesus. Leanboxian accent, too. And that's some grip…'
"You're taller than I thought," she smiled. "Stephanie; Stephanie Buraez. You can call me Steph, if you want."
"Sure." He paused as the handshake finished. "Wait…Steph?"
"Yeah. Short for Stephanie. It's what my friends call me." Stephanie tilted her head, almost confused. "Is that, uh, weird, or…?"
"No, not at all. You're…one of Falcom's friends, right?"
Stephanie blinked in surprise, looking up at him. "Oh? Uh…yeah, I am. I was just on a quest with her. She still around?" He nodded.
"Yeah, I was actually about to head out on a quest with her."
"Oh. Well, uh…I missed that boat, I guess," Steph sighed, rubbing her neck. "Green Dogoo melted my good hat. I was gonna call it quits for the day after that, but I figured I'd see if a temporary replacement was around." Her eyes drifted back to the hat on the mannequin, and so did London's.
"...wizard hat?"
"Yeah," she replied. "I figured if I was going into the whole 'mage' thing, I should look the part." London blinked in surprise, looking back at her.
"W-Wait, mage? You're a mage?"
He stared in mild disbelief at the muscles, which prompted Steph to roll her eyes, folding her arms.
"What, a girl can't be a mage? Only weird old guys?" she pouted.
"No, not that, just…you're…uh, pretty fuckin' jacked?" London replied, before he could actually formulate a good response. "I mean, Jesus, those're some guns."
'Well, there we go, might as well find someone else, Mr. Creep.'
Rather the opposite, actually.
Stephanie's brow raised, and so did the corner of her mouth. "Oh, you noticed? Thanks."
"...eh?"
The girl grinned, and flexed her right arm. She was almost as fucking built as he was. Patting the muscle, she looked very proud. "Got told to focus one, I focused two: STR, and MAG. I bodybuild and learn magic where I can. Strongest mage in Gamindustri, or so I like to think."
London stared, and then chuckled, raising both brows appreciatively. He folded his arms, scratching his chin. "No shit, huh? What's your bench record?"
"231 kilos." Her voice dripped with pride, as she continued flexing a little. "I do martial arts, too; Mostly boxing and MMA. I've decked guys twice my size. Probably not quite as much as some of your on-the-fly records in the field, since you killed that Merger? But I'm in the top 5 strongest women at the Guild. So, y'know. I like to think I'm a big deal."
"Very nice. Well done." London paused…then wagged a finger, putting his other hand on his hip. "What…kind of magic do you know?"
"Oh? Well, at least someone cares. Uh, a lot of offensive magic with fire, some standard spells, and I've started poking at healing. If I focus, I can kinda outdo some healing potions." Once more, Stephanie looked pretty smug. "Biggest fireball explosion was half a kiloton."
London's eyes widened a bit more. "Jesus Christ. That's 500 kilos of TNT…!"
The girl's confident expression continued as long as London's amazement did.
"Well, that Vader nest waaas being pretty troublesome…~"
He slicked his hair back…then looked at the hat.
"...I've an offer."
"Oh?"
"If I…buy you that hat…will you come with me, Falcom, and my friend on a quest? It's local."
Stephanie folded her arms, looking at the hat with a small smile, and flicked her eyes between it, and London. "...what's the quest…?"
"Bunch of monsters in a highway tunnel, plus some sketchy blokes wanderin' about with them. Kill all the monsters, and beat up the people hangin' out with the monsters." He folded his arms, and then pointed to the hat. "We get a mage, muscle, and fire support; You get paid, and a new hat."
Steph thought for a moment…then chuckled, and nodded.
"Alright. Paid, a hat, and I get to see if you're really as good as they say you are."
A few minutes later, with no potions bought, London and Stephanie left the shop. His hand flashed, bringing the new hat from the disposable Disc that it came in, and flopping it onto Steph's head. She laughed a bit, adjusting it, and rolling her shoulders.
"There we go, that feels better."
London smiled, extending his hand.
"Welcome to the party, Steph."
She clapped her hand into his, shaking it firmly with a confident smirk.
"Glad to be here, London. Don't you disappoint me."
'Oh, girl, you have no fuckin' idea of how disappointin' I can be.'