Chapter 4 Lean wit me
The next day, Riley and Rallo are listening to rap music with their earphones on, and Rallo heard the words "sipping on lean" and "my purple drank" in one of the songs he's listening to.
[Rallo's interview]
"Me and Riley are a fan of rap, gangsta rap, crunk rap, old school rap, etc, but I kept hearing rappers saying "lean" or "purple drank" and I wanna know what it is."
He took off his earphones to asked Riley.
"Hey Riley, what's lean?" Rallo asked.
"What? Lean? It's like laying down." Said Riley.
"No, not that lean, the other lean. Like in a rap song, they say "sipping on lean" like it's a drank." Said Rallo.
"I never heard of that." Riley replied.
"Damn, I show wish I can taste it though." Said Rallo.
"We can look it up on the computer." Said Riley.
"Ok let's do it." Said Rallo.
They go to the computer and search it up, it says...
Lean, also known as purple drank or sizzurp is a concoction of cough syrup, sprite and jolly ranchers typically served in a white Styrofoam cup.
It also shows what the ingredients of the purple drink looks like.
"Man, I don't mind drinking that, that looks good." Riley said with excitement.
"But do we have cough syrup?" Rallo asked.
"No, but we need some." Riley replied.
[Riley's interview]
"So me and my home boy ral decided to make sum sizzurp with sum sprite and sum jolly ranchers. We call room service and lied about being sick to to get some cough syrup."
They are in the kitchen mixing sprite and jolly ranchers with cough syrup in a pitcher. Bart and Eddy just walked in the kitchen.
"What is that?" Bart asked.
"Sizzurp." Rallo answered.
"Huh?" Bart and Eddy asked.
"The purple drank we're trying out." Riley replied.
"Is that jolly ranchers?" Bart asked.
"Yup." They both replied.
"Is it good?" Eddy asked again.
"We're about to try it, you ready, rile?" Rallo asked. They both took a sip from a white styrofoam cup.
"Wow, that is really good." Said Riley.
"Can I try it?" Bart asked.
"I want some!" Eddy said in excitement.
Eddy and Bart took a sip of lean from a styrofoam cup.
"Whoa!" They both said.
"Damn, it does taste good." Said Eddy.
Rallo started to feel weird, he looked at his hands and they looked weird and a different color. He looked around the kitchen and everything looked different to him, he's hallucinating.
"Hey Ral, are you ok? You look taller...and...blue." Riley said, feeling drunk.
"Am I?" He asked, looking at himself. "Whoa, why do you have so many eyes?" He asked again in a hallucinated state.
"What do you mean? How many eyes I got?" Riley asked.
"Uhhh, ten, eleventeen? I can't count." He said.
"What the hell is happening to us?" Bart asked, feeling dizzy.
"Man, seeing all the weird stuff is making me sick. Jesus, is it hot in here?" Eddy asked, taking off his shirt and sweating.
Cartman and Stewie walked in the kitchen and see Bart, Eddy, Riley and Rallo acting weird.
"Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you guys?" Stewie asked.
"Dude, you gotta try this purple drank, it taste...awesome." Bart said, feeling stoned.
Stewie and Cartman looked at the purple drank in the pitcher on the counter and thought it was purple kool aid.
"Well I'm thirsty anyway." Cartman said, brushing it off and not caring to realize it's not kool aid.
They get a styrofoam cup, pour the purple drank and drunk it.
"Whoa, what kind of drank is that?" Cartman asked, shocked.
"I don't know but I like it." Said Stewie. They continue drinking.
A while later, Huey comes down stairs to order food and was shocked and confused that the kids doing crazy shit, some are in their birthday suits. Bart, Stewie and Rallo are hanging on to each ceiling fan blade while being spinned around in the nude. Eddy is bubble bathing and relaxing in the kitchen sink overfilled with water. Riley is covered with feathers from the couch pillows he cut up and playing in it. And Cartman is outside peeing in their swimming pool thinking it's a toilet.
"What the hell is wrong with y'all?" Huey asked. Huey looked on the counter, he saw the purple drank in a pitcher, he also saw an empty cough syrup bottle and immediately realized what the boys had drank.
[Huey's interview]
"I try to find out what the hell is wrong with my housemates until I found an empty cough syrup bottle, an empty sprite bottle, and a bag of jolly ranchers next to the purple drank in a pitcher. And I thought to myself, who is responsible for this."
"Who the hell made that drank?" Huey asked Eddy. Eddy is so high that misheard Huey's question. "I didn't know we have a fish tank." He said in a drunken state.
"What? No, I didn't say..." Huey began to say when he saw Cartman walked inside and zipping up his pants. "Ahh, that's better." He said, still drunk.
Huey asked Cartman the same question but he misheard him. "It's was the iceberg." He said, in a stoned state.
"What are you talking about, Eric?" Huey asked.
"Wait...you asked me what made titanic sank, right?" Cartman asked.
"Naw I think he was asking me about Tom Hanks." Said Eddy.
"What about Tyra banks?" Cartman asked.
"Who?" Eddy asked.
"Oh, just forget it. Whatever made y'all so high, y'all need to sleep it off. I'm ordering something to eat." Huey said, as he went on with his business. He took the pitcher pore the purple drank in the toilet and flushed it so they won't drink anymore of it. He ordered Roman noodles and orange juice and went to his room. After he finished his meal he decided to take a nap.
Three hours later, he woke to went down stairs and saw the house is a mess and kids passed out on the couch and floor. Bart is laying on the couch and Stewie is laying behind the couch, they're both still naked. Riley is laying on that floor, Rallo is laying on top of him naked, both are covered in feathers. Eddy is still in the sink filled with water passed out, and Cartman is laying on the kitchen floor. Huey ignore them and decided to call his granddad, but the phone is not working, he became irritated.
"I can't take it anymore, god this house is crazy." He said to himself and face palmed. "I can't even call my granddad, the buttons don't even work, look." He try dialing again, but the phone won't work. He assume that the guys accidentally broke the phone without realizing. He became so furious and angrily hung up the phone and confront his housemates.
"ALRIGHT, WHO BROKE THE PHONE??" He shouted. "You know what, I'm so sick and tired of everyone in this house, y'all are making me lose my mind. Where's the damn pots at?
[Huey's interview]
"I'm the boss of the bad kids house now, if Eric or the others have a problem with that, that's too bad. I'm the head black kid in charge."
He grabbed two pots and started waking everyone up while hitting the pots together.
"ALRIGHT, GET UP, EVERYONE WAKE UP RIGHT NOW AND CLEAN THIS HOUSE UP." He shouted.
Bart was the first to wake up, he has a headache, but seeing Huey waking everyone up with pots was hilarious to him.
[Bart's interview]
"Waking up and seeing Huey waking everyone up with pots is the funniest thing I've ever seen." He said while laughing.
"This ain't over till the domestic terrorist sings. I can't concentrate cause of y'all, y'all can't get no sleep because of me. So wake the fuck up." Huey shouted.
Everyone woke up to figure out what happened.
"Eeww Rallo why are you naked on me? That's gay my nigga." Riley asked in disgust.
"Aye man where the fuck are my clothes?" Rallo asked while covering himself with feathers and looking for his clothes.
"AHH, why am I in a sink? And where are my clothes?" Eddy asked.
"What the hell happen to us?" Stewie asked, putting back on his diaper.
"This is what happened." Huey said, holding an empty cough syrup bottle.
"Who had a cold?" Cartman asked.
"Somebody in this house make a drug related "purple drank" and mixed it with sprite and jolly ranchers. Don't y'all know that drinking that much cough syrup can kill y'all?" Huey asked.
"Wait, I thought it was grape flavored kool aid." Stewie said, confused.
"Does this look like grape flavored kool aid to you, Stewie?" Huey asked.
"Who the hell would drug us?" Bart asked, confused.
Then It finally clicked in Rallo's head. "I made it." He said. Everyone looked at him.
"You BASTERD, you drugged us?" Stewie asked in frustration.
"Rallo, what where you thinking?" Huey asked.
"I didn't drug no body, me and ri... I mean...I made it cause I wanted to taste it." Rallo said, not wanting to snitch on Riley.
"Rallo, there's no way you made this drank by yourself. Someone had to help you, and it's not hard to figure out who." Huey said, glaring at Riley.
"Ok fine, I helped him to, but we didn't drug no body. Everybody wanted to taste it to." Said Riley.
"Oh no, no no no no, I didn't say I wanted to taste a drug related drank. I can't believe you two drugged all of us. You drug dealing assholes." Cartman said angrily.
"Y'all see what I mean? Rallo wanted to be like these guys so bad. He's such a follower and a huge boondocks rip-off. Like shark tales ripped off finding Nemo." Said Stewie.
Rallo simply had enough of Stewie calling him that, he charged at him and grabbed his neck tightly.
"LISTEN YOU FOOTBALL HEADED FAGGOT MOTHER FUCKER, I AM NOT A BOONDOCKS RIP-OFF. I AM NOT THEM. I AM RALLO MOTHER FUCKIN TUBBS FROM THE CLEVELAND SHOW. DO YOU HEAR ME??? AND IF YOU CALL ME THAT ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SNAP YOUR FUCKIN NECK WITH MY BARE HANDS." Rallo shouted in furious anger.
Stewie got really scared, Rallo let go of him and ran upstairs to his bedroom. Everyone was shocked, Huey glared at Stewie and went upstairs to check on Rallo.
"Thanks for pissing off my little brother, Stewie." Riley said sarcastically. He also went upstairs.
Huey and Riley went upstairs to their bedroom and find Rallo in his bed under the covers face down on his pillow, crying.
"Rallo, don't let what Stewie said get to you." Said Huey.
"Yeah, the nigga is just jealous because you're cooler than him." Said Riley.
"I know, but that's not why I'm upset. I'm upset because I miss my show, I miss my hometown in stoolbend Virginia, but most importantly, I miss my old friends. You guys wouldn't understand." Rallo said sadly.
"I do, Rallo, because I felt the same way." Said Huey.
Rallo took the covers off his head to look at Huey. "Really?" He asked.
"Yeah." Huey replied as he and Riley lay next to him. "Me and Riley are originally from Chicago, our grandad moved us to Woodcrest in an all white town."
"It sucked at first, until I made some cool friends, Ed and Rummy, Cindy aka C-murph, thugnificent and gangstalicious. Said Riley.
"I had a best friend named Cairo, we grew up together in Chicago, but we're not friends anymore because he thought I abandoned him and we fought. I tried to be the bigger person and apologize, but for his forgiveness, he head butted me and nearly broke my nose." Said Huey.
"Jesus man." Rallo said in shock.
"It was awesome though." Riley said, snickering.
Rallo looked at Riley in shock. "How can you say that, Riley? That's your brother, I would never think like that about my older stepbrother or sister. When Stewie punched you in your balls, I fought him for you because I had your back like a real brother." He said.
"Oh, I guess you're right." Riley said, looking down.
"This is why you're here for a reason, we all are. You're a cool kid, Rallo. Huey said, encouraging him.
"Yup. We never watched your show, but I bet it's ten times funnier than family guy." Riley assumed.
"It sure was, so many great memories." Rallo said in nostalgia.
"And ain't no faggy white kid like Stewie or fat ass is gonna kick us out of this house." Said Riley.
"Man, you guys are the best." Rallo said, smiling. Riley smiled back, Huey smiled a little bit.
Rallo all of a sudden unexpectedly burped.
"Pardon me y'all, that lean made me burp."
"Ooooh, I think that lean gave me gas." Riley said, holding his stomach.
"Riley, don't you dare." Huey scolded.
Riley didn't listen and he ripped a loud fart.
"Aww shit, damn Riley, what the fuck." Rallo said, laughing and covering his nose.
"Aahh, sorry not sorry. Man, that felt really good. Riley said, smirking and feeling relieved.
"Riley, you're disgusting." Huey said, face palmed.
"Thanks!" He said proudly.
Of all the chapters I written, this one is my favorite. :)