Chapter 5 This is NOT a movie
The next day, the boys are relaxing in the pool and talking about what happened yesterday.
[Stewie's interview]
"What happened the other day was insane, but I hope today doesn't get any worse."
"Guys, I don't think Riley and Rallo meant to drug us." Said Bart.
"Of course they did, they didn't tell me it was lean. Cartman replied. "Eddy, did they told you it was lean before you taste it?" He asked
"Yeah, but they didn't say it was a drug." Eddy answered.
"See? He didn't know either, they drugged us without us knowing. I rest my case." Said Cartman.
[Cartman's interview]
"Bart needs to understand that those guys he's best friends with are drug dealers, gang bangers and liars. They are bad people and I don't feel safe living under one roof with them."
The phone rang in the phone room and Stewie answered it.
"Hello? Bad Kids residence." He answered.
Louise Belcher on the phone: "What's up, bad kids? This is Louise Belcher from bob's burgers."
"Oh hello, Louise."
Louise Belcher on the phone: "I'm just calling y'all to tell invite you baddies to see my movie the bob's burgers movie tomorrow night at eight o'clock. It at the dome pacific cinema."
"Of course, we would love to see your movie tomorrow."
Louise Belcher on the phone: "Cool, see ya baddies tomorrow."
"K see ya." He hangs up the phone and tells the guys.
"Guys, I just got off the phone, it was Louise Belcher from bob's burgers and she inviting us to see her movie tomorrow night at eight." Stewie said in excitement.
"Which theater?" Bart asked.
"She said it's at the dome pacific cinema." He answered.
"Cool, we're invited to see a movie." Bart said in excitement.
"Wait, is it just the four of us? Should we tell the guys upstairs?" Eddy asked.
"Fuck no, they don't deserve to go." Said Cartman.
Little do they know, Rallo was overhearing their conversation while getting some orange juice for Riley and Huey.
[Rallo's interview]
"They got invited to see a movie, but not us? That's bullshit."
He went to the arcade room to tell Huey and Riley.
" Guys, I heard the guys talking outside about them being invited to see a movie, except us." Rallo explained.
Huey raised his eyebrow. "Who's not inviting us to see a movie?" He asked.
"Eric fat ass Cartman." Rallo answered.
"The hell we're not. I got a little trick up my sleeve." Said Riley.
"What kind of trick, Riley?" Huey asked.
"Ok guys huddle up, here's the plan." He, Huey and Rallo huddled up to hear his plan.
The next morning, Stewie was getting something to eat when he saw Riley and Rallo sitting in the kitchen eating cereal. He ignored them and got a pop tart from the cabinet, when he was about to walk out, he smells an unbearable smell, like someone farted.
"Ugh, really? In the kitchen?" Stewie asked in disgust and covering his nose.
"Whachu talking about?" Riley asked.
"Do you have to fart in the kitchen?" He asked again.
"Nigga, why are you worried about what I'm doing in the kitchen? My farts are my business." Said Riley
"Well it's unsanitary to fart in the kitchen, we all eat in there too." He said.
[Rallo's interview]
"Reezy is my home boy no matter what, if he needs to let out a fart, so be it."
"Man shut the fuck up, mind your god damn business. Everybody farts, why are you making a big deal out of it?" Rallo asked, defending Riley.
"You're eating while he's passing gas, does that bother you at all?" Stewie asked.
"Not if he fans away the smell it won't bother me. Now go away." Rallo replied.
"Well both of y'all make me sick." He said walking out of the kitchen.
"Ok, ok, ok, do you know what?" He leans to the side and cut a loud fart. "That's what!" He said while him and Rallo are cracking up.
"Ugh, nasty basterds." He said in disgust.
"At least we're potty trained." Rallo replied. Riley high fived him.
[Stewie in the confessional room]
"I'm in a house full of thugs with no manners. I'm one years old and I'm the youngest most matured baby in this house."
Later that night, the boys are getting ready to go to the movies. They go downstairs and saw Huey, Riley and Rallo standing by the door.
"Are you guys trying to stop us from going to the movies?" Cartman asked.
"No, we're going to, we're just gonna sit somewhere where you won't be bothered by us." Said Huey.
"Oh ok, that's fair for us." He said.
[Riley's interview]
"Me, Rallo and Huey are always the last kids to get ready, but not this time, we have a little trick up our sleeve."
Riley saw the limo pulled and him Rallo and Huey quickly got inside, locked the doors and lied to the driver that everybody is in the limo. The limo drives off before either Bart, Stewie, Cartman and Eddy can get in.
The guys are standing outside, they are more than shocked and confused, they are super mad.
"Whatever, that's fine, I didn't want to ride with these douche bags anyways. I'll call the cab." Said Stewie. Him, Eddy and Bart walked back in the house really upset, Cartman stood outside for a few seconds fuming and then walked in the house plotting.
In the limo, Riley and Rallo are laughing hysterically.
"Who's uninvited now dumb asses?!" Said Rallo.
"Exactly, nigga." Riley said, high fiving Rallo.
"Eddy and Bart could've roll with us if they had a chance." Said Huey.
"Oh well, fuck them." Said Rallo.
[Huey's interview]
"We tried to tell Eddy and Bart that we don't fuck with Eric and Stewie. But if they wanna keep hanging out with the enemies, then they are the enemies too."
Back at the house, Stewie was about to call a cab when Cartman stopped him.
"Stop Stewie, we don't need a cab, it's time for war." Said Cartman.
"But what about the movie? We were supposed to look like celebrities walking on the red carpet into a dome pacific theater to watch the bob's burgers movie." Eddy complained.
"Oh, so we're just gonna go to the movies, meet them there and say "ha ha, thanks for leaving us, that's a good one" and just brush it off? They're gonna laugh at us, steal our shine, and think we're a bunch of weak saps." Said Cartman
Eddy started fuming after listening to what Cartman said.
[Eddy's interview]
"There's no way in hell that I will leave out of this house as a god damn weak sap. I was always better than that on my show."
"So what's the plan?" He asked.
"We're giving them war, we're gonna take their precious items and cut em up, burn them, pour bleach on them, and put mustard and ketchup on them, and leave em outside for them to see." Said Cartman.
"I love that plan." Said Stewie.
Bart thought about it, but is unsure if he wants to participate in their revenge.
"You still care about them, do you Bart? If these guys cared about you, they wouldn't have abandoned you here. So they obviously betrayed you." Said Cartman.
"You're right, I'm in." Bart said, agreeing with Eric.
[Bart, Cartman, Stewie, and Eddy in the confessional room]
"This is the straw that broke the camels back. We are extremely over you guys pulling petty shit like that and be untouchable." Cartman said fuming.
"It's war time, they want war? Well we'll give it to em a trillion times harder." Said Bart.
Huey, Riley and Rallo arrived at the dome pacific cinema and meets Louise Belcher.
"What's up guys, it's just the three of y'all, where's the others?" Louise asked.
"They all got covid." Said Rallo. Riley snickered after what Rallo said.
"Wow that's sucks. C'mon, I want you to meet my family." She said, introducing them to her family.
Back at the house, the boys grabbed Huey, Riley and Rallo's belongings, clothes and shoes, they cut em up, they burn them and pour bleach on em, they put mustard, ketchup and hot sauce on them, they poke a hole on Riley's basketball and broke his chain. Stewie draw penises on their pictures and wrote "suck it!" on it.
"Wow, look how pretty it is outside you guys." Cartman said, looking at the destroyed clothes.
The guys went upstairs for preparation, they put black lines on their cheeks, Stewie went to his bedroom to talk to his teddy bear Rupert.
"Alright Rupert, I'm going to war tonight, so pray for me. If I don't survive this, take care of my family, meg, and my three new friends Eric Cartman, Eddy, and Bart Simpson." Stewie said as he hugged Rupert.
"Stewie are you ready?" Eddy asked.
"Coming." He said as he put Rupert under his bed. "You'll be safe under the bed, Rupert."
After enjoying the movie, Huey, Riley and Rallo got in the limo to go back to the mansion.
Bart went outside to keep an eye out for the guy's limo. After thirty five minuets, he saw their limousine pull up and quickly ran in the house.
"They're here." He said
"Ok guys, everyone line up." Said Cartman. Everyone lined up to prepared to fight.
The limo door opens and Huey, Riley and Rallo are beyond shocked to see their clothes all over the ground and destroyed.
"What the...who's clothes is that?" Rallo asked, shocked.
"Wait a minute, that's our clothes." Huey replied.
[Huey's Interview]
"So we got out of the limo and we found all our stuff on the ground, damaged beyond repair."
"You're kidding me, right?" Riley asked.
"Yo, they fuckin bleached my shit." Rallo said, looking at Riley. They both walked towards the door to find the guys standing in line prepared to fight.
"So this is how it is? This is how y'all feel?" Rallo asked.
"Mother fuckers ain't got nuttin better to do but touch our shit." Said Riley.
They both go upstairs, Stewie decided to follow them.
Huey is outside looking for his karate headband, he puts it on and walked in the house. "Oh, you guys ready? Let's take it upstairs." He said as he's going upstairs.
"Yeah, wassup bruh? C'mon, let's go." Cartman said, acting tough. He, Bart and Eddy went upstairs.
Stewie tries to jump Rallo, but Riley bucked at him.
"BACK OFF NIGGA, GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Riley shouted through his gritted teeth, defending Rallo.
"Bring it on bitch, give me your best shot." Stewie said standing up to Riley.
"Ok!" Riley said as he grabbed Stewie's head, put his face against his rear end and let out a massive fart on his face.
"OH GOD!" Stewie shouted as he fell backwards and projectile vomits.
Rallo started cracking up. "That's what you get, football head"
Huey walked pass Stewie and prepared to fight and protecting Rallo and his brother. Eddy ran up to Huey and grabbed his hair and started pulling, Riley and Rallo jump in to help, Bart tries to jump in but a bodyguard grabbed him, and another bodyguard tries to separate Eddy and Huey.
[Riley's interview]
"Maybe these niggas forgot something. Don't. Fuck. With. Young. Reezy. Because if you do, young reezy will make your life hell."
"We're the real baddest cartoon kids, you guys are just saps." Said Eddy.
"If you're a real bad nigga, get down here and fight me. Real niggas don't fuck up people's shit while they're not here." Riley shouted.
"Yeah bitch, all y'all are weak ass, punk ass, cowered ass niggas. You're so lucky you didn't destroyed the rest of our stuff." Rallo replied.
"Oh really? Go check the bathroom, we got a surprise for you." Cartman said smiling.
"What surprise?" Rallo asked.
"You'll see." Stewie replied.
[Cartman's interview]
"Yes, this is the best revenge we've ever got. Our job is to hit these guys where it'll hurt them the most and it worked. I let my housemates did my dirty work and now I'm a sit there and let those gangsters self destruct."
Riley and Rallo went to the bathroom and saw Riley's broken chain and all their shoes in the bathtub covered in paint, condiments and human bodily fluids and waste. They became more angry than ever.
"AAAAGHHHHHHH! NOOOO, NO, FUCK NO, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS DESTROYED MY SHIT!" Rallo screamed.
Rallo is in disbelief, he started taking his shoes, iPod, earphones, Riley's broken chain and Riley's popped basketball out of the soiled water. Riley just stood there, fuming in rage with his fists balled up, he ran out of the bathroom, and this time, he doesn't want to fight them, he's out for blood. The security guard grabbed Riley before he could charged at the boys.
"LET ME GO, LET ME THE FUCK GO BITCH. I WANNA KILL EM!" He shouted in anger.
Meanwhile, Huey is in the phone room calling his grandad about the situation.
Grandad: "hello?"
"Grandad, we have a huge problem, these guys destroyed everything that I owned, and everything that Riley owned and everything that our friend Rallo owned. And the security guards won't let us fight those guys."
Grandad: man I should've let one of y'all use my belt and bring it with y'all...just in case.
"We'll get em grandad, if not now, we'll get em at the reunion. We'll probably get em at their hometowns, hopefully."
Grandad: if you do, use your badass martial arts techniques or the kumite kirate whatever it called.
Meanwhile outside, the production crew tries to calm Riley and Rallo down, but Riley is in rage mode and Rallo is destroying property out of his frustration.
"I WILL FUCK ALL Y'ALL BITCHES UP! I SWEAR TO GOD! STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!" Riley shouted in frustration.
Rallo was lighting the bushes on fire with matches, the production crew stopped him before he could light the whole house on fire.
"Rallo, put that down right now before you burn yourself." Said the producer.
"NO, FUCK Y'ALL! IS IT WORTH HAVING MY SHIT DESTROYED? HUH, IS IT?" He shouted in anger.
Back at the phone room...
"I'm telling you grandad, all of our stuff got ruined."
Grandad: that's fucked up, their white parents are probably so poor that they couldn't afford good clothes and shoes. They couldn't go to church or a funeral because they wouldn't have anything nice to wear.
"Exactly. Even if I wanted to go to church on a Sunday morning, matter of fact, if I go to someone's funeral, it will be their funeral, you know why grandad, BECAUSE IM GONNA FUCKING MURDER THE FUCK OUT THESE WHITE MOTHER FUCKERS! CHICAGO STYLE!" Huey shouted in furious anger. He threw the phone across the room.
Riley is in the kitchen breaking almost all dishes and Rallo tipped over the whole refrigerator with his feet, and Huey smashed the tv screen with a baseball bat in the arcade room.
Cartman, Bart, Stewie and Eddy are in Bart's and Cartman's bedroom, the production crew won't let them get out due to their safety.
[Bart's Interview]
"The security guards won't let us leave my bedroom, but we can hear all the glass and items breaking and screaming and cursing from these guys downstairs."
[Cartman's interview]
"Dude, this is NOT a movie, these guys are mad as hell. We learned that they are the type of bad boys that you do not want to piss off or fuck with." He said, worried.
"Ok guys, we have to put y'all in a hotel tonight for your safety." Said Sarah the producer.
"Wait, Rupert is still in my room under my bed. I have to get him." Stewie panicked.
"Ok, hold on, we'll get your teddy bear, Stewie." The security guard said as they try to get Rupert, but to their surprise, Huey is holding Stewie's teddy bear and holding a knife to its neck.
"Huey, give me the bear, it's not worth it." Said the security guard.
"Oh really? What about our stuff they destroyed? Was that worth it?" He asked angrily.
"No, but..."
"RUPERT!!! Put him down you psychopath." Stewie shouted.
"Give me a reason why I should, Stewie." Said Huey.
"Umm, oh, we'll buy you new clothes, right guys?" Stewie asked Eddy, Bart and Cartman.
"What are you, nuts? We don't have that kind of..." before Eddy could finish what he's about to say, Bart quickly covered his mouth.
"Yeah, of course. We feel so bad for what we did to your stuff. We're sorry Huey." Bart agreed.
Cartman is standing behind them with his arms crossed and rolling his eyes.
Huey thought about it for one second and then he looked at Riley and Rallo to see what they think, they both slightly shook their heads.
"You know what...sorry, does not cut it." Huey said as he sliced off Rupert's head.
Note: this scene is in slow motion.
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stewie shouted in slow motion. Bart and Eddy are holding Stewie back.
Riley and Rallo decided to sacrifice Rupert by tearing him up into pieces.
"YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING MURDERERS!" Stewie screamed while in tears.
"C'mon guys, let's get the hell out of here, these guys are dangerous." Cartman said, grabbing his things. The boys grab what they need and went to a hotel for the night.
A while later, Huey, Riley and Rallo just finished explaining to the police officers about what happened.
"Damage timberlands cost me twenty five dollars, and I gotta get a new chain from thugnificent." Said Riley.
"Ok guys listen, because of the destruction of the house, and threatening the kids and the production crew, you guys have to leave the show. So we need y'all to pack your belongings and go home." Said the police officer.
"Aight, whatever, that's coo." Said Riley and Rallo.
"Whatever, that's fine with me." Huey said, not surprised.
[Huey's interview]
"Being in the bad kids house with my brother and five other cartoon kids was insane, would I do it again? Hell no. Eric Cartman was a fat, racist, narcissistic, self-centered, manipulative, sociopath, Eddy was irrelevant, Stewie Griffin was a hater and Bart Simpson..., I never had a problem with him, until he flipflopped and followed Eric Cartman to do his dirty work. I made the viewers learn that being a bad kid don't always mean you're mischievous, you can also be smart, be a revolutionary, always speak your mind, and don't take shit from nobody."
[Rallo's interview]
"I'm so glad I came on this show and being myself again. Would I do it again? Hell Yeah, but only with my boy Riley. When I first met him and his brother, we immediately clicked, they were like brothers to me, especially him. When you see us again, remember us as Team Rillo. Aight I'm out, peace out bad kids show."
[Riley's interview]
"I walked in that bitch not giving a fuck, and now I'm leaving out this bitch still not giving a fuck. Rallo, I love you, you were like a little brother to me, but not in a homo way though. The rest of those fags can suck my dick, and Rallo, don't let that football headed faggot walk all over you back at Qaohog. Aight, young reezy is out that bitch."
The view of Huey, Riley and Rallo's final moments in the house.
This is probably the longest chapter I've ever written. Next chapter will get two Cartoon bad kid replacements and one more to Cartman's surprise. Stay tuned y'all.
Ps. Team Rillo is the pronunciation is teem•rylow.