A/N hey guys. Here's the next chapter. Hope yall enjoy. Now we really get into the story. It'll be less dramatic for a while but please, to those of you who read this keep reading. If anyone is wondering why Amanda is struggling more it's because this is added on to the trauma shes been dealing with from the first story. Emotionally she's all over the place right now, and her father kidnapping her and Liv didn't help matters. Liv is also struggling, but not nearly to the degree Amanda is. She will also have therapy though so don't worry. I'll also be working on life of an autistic svu detective and possibly rewriting that but I'll keep every one updated on what I decide. I haven't abandoned this series. I got to writing several general hospital stories as well as being back in my certification course so I've been pretty busy. I apologize for the delay. I'm also on tumblr as ghfan so feel free to send me requests. Entering Alex's house, Olivia guided Amanda to the sofa before placing their bags in the spare room and beginning to unpack. A few minutes later Olivia glanced up to see the blonde detective in the doorway watching her. "I can feel you watching me." She said with a chuckle and Amanda's eyes lit up, a smile taking over her face. "Wanted to be near you but didn't wanna bother you." She whispered, coming further into the room and looking around. "You're never bothering me, sweetie. You know that." Olivia responded softly, watching as Amanda rummaged around in a suitcase before pulling out some sleep clothes.
"Baby, we need to talk. It's about what you're going to do." The brunette said and Amanda let out a sad sigh, eyes filling with tears which she quickly blinked away. "You think I'm weak now. You're right." She admitted, rocking back and forth slightly. "No, Amanda. I most certainly do not." Olivia disagreed, reaching over an taking the blonde's hand gently in her own. "You're in no way weak.
I want to make that clear. You leaving SVU doesn't make you weak if that's in fact what you do decide." She explained, knowing this wouldn't be an easy conversation. "Everything feels wrong. I want my job back, but I don't know if I can still do it after-" She started, going silent at Olivia's nod, knowing they were on the same page. "We need to talk to Susan, both of us. We need to work through what your father did to us and your feelings about your mom." Olivia explained, quickly taking charge and giving Amanda a laid out plan, knowing it helps with her autism.
"It's my fault. He hurt you and mama because of me depending on you." She said, a loud wail bouncing off the walls of the small room and Olivia immediately gathered her in her arms, rocking back and forth slowly. "Baby, no. This is not on you. Do you hear me?" She asked, knowing she herself would need therapy with Susan and Amanda just cried harder. "Shhh. It's ok, baby. Come on. Let's get you into a warm bath and into bed." Olivia coaxed gently, extending a hand which Amanda immediately took and followed the brunette into the bathroom.
As soon as Olivia turned on the tub however, all hell broke loose. The flashbacks of her father waterboarding her boss and friend suddenly began playing on a loop in her head without warning.
"No. Stop, please. No water. No water." She screamed, backing away from the tub and Olivia immediately turned off the faucet, a look of concern taking over her face before she leaped into action, making a note to discuss this latest trigger with Susan. "Amanda, sweetheart. It's ok. I'm ok. See? I'm right here." She whispered, dropping to her knees in front of her friend. "No water. Daddy, please. Don't hurt her." She cried desperately, opening her eyes and upon seeing the brunette she hesitated only a moment before shifting closer, the flashback continuing with no signs of letting up any time soon. .
"Please. Don't hurt her. I'm begging you." She continued pleating, now sobbing hysterically into Olivia's chest. "Sweetheart, look at me. I promise you I'm ok.
It's just a bath, honey. Is washing your hair whats scaring you?" She questioned, not sure if she would receive an answer and was surprised when Amanda nodded into her neck.
"Oh, baby. It's ok. I bet Alex has a cup around here somewhere." She whispered, tenderly stroking her blonde hair while she waited for Amanda to completely come back to her.
"Liv? Is everything ok?" Came the voice of the blonde ADA and Olivia glanced up to see Alex in the doorway with a concerned expression on her face. "I think so. She panicked when I turned on the tub." She explained, not needing to continue as Alex shuttered, clearly knowing why.
"I wanna kill him." She growled, beginning to pace before stopping, realizing that would only scare Amanda. "Did I hear something about a cup?" "Yeah. I figured that would be the best way to wash her hair." Liv answered and the blonde was immediately out of the room, returning moments later with a plastic cup and placing it on the counter.
"Thanks. I appreciate it." She said and Alex nodded. "I'm gonna leave you guys to do your thing, but if you need anything just let me know." She said before exiting the bathroom. "Ok, sweetie. You wanna try again?" "N-no. No water." She said, beginning to shake. "Hey look at me. It'll be ok. We'll go nice and slow and I promise you'll be totally safe." The brunette said, turning the faucet
back on to fill the tub.
"Olivia. It's so good to see you." Susan said as she ushered the two women into her office. "You to, Susan. We have a lot to talk about." She said and Susan nodded in agreement. "Hello, Amanda. How are you?" She asked kindly but Amanda didn't respond, instead tugging at Olivia's pant leg with a whine. "What is it, baby?" "Up." Amanda requested, lifting her arms and the brunette carefully lifted her on to her lap. "Better now, sweetheart?" "Uh-huh." She said before going silent once more, lying her head on Olivia's shoulder. "Sorry. She's been going through periods where she doesn't talk. I'm not sure if she's totally regressed or if it's just a shut down." She explained and the therapist just waved it off with a dismissive hand. "No worries. I'd like to focus on you today." She said and Olivia nodded.
"I should've protected her." "You do, Olivia. It's not on you that he got in." She said, glancing at Amanda who had closed her eyes and appeared to have drifted off to sleep. "He hurt me and she had to watch. She can't even shower or take a bath now without panicking." She said and Susan frowned.
"I think I can help with that. You also said she's not sure about working in SVU?" "Yeah." Olivia responded before gently shaking the blonde's shoulder. "Amanda, baby, wake up." She said softly. "What." She whispered, carefully sitting up and shifting into another chair next to Olivia. "Olivia tells me you may not want to work in SVU anymore." Susan said and Amanda nodded.
"I don't know what I want. I'd love to have my job back, but now, I am unable to mask my autism." She said and her therapist nodded. "Are you prone to more meltdowns?" "Yes, and I have severe separation anxiety." She whispered. "I see. Olivia? What are your thoughts." Susan questioned.
"I am concerned, but I know she's been through a lot." "She has indeed." Susan said before Amanda's phone rang. "Sorry. Liv. It's Kim." She said. "Kim? Is mama ok?" "Manda. You need to get down here. It-it's not good." Kim said and Amanda began crying and reaching for Olivia who took the phone and held Amanda with the other arm. "Kim? What's happened." "It's mama. They say she isn't gonna make it. I don't believe it, but yall still need to get down here." She said. "We will be right there." Olivia said before hanging up the phone, just praying they got there in time.