We're just trucking right along, aren't we? I should work out a posting schedule but that's just not how my brain works. Hope you like the new chapter. Let me know what you think. ;)
Also, this is my convoluted version of canon. I kind of picked what I wanted and created my own little universe.
Thanks for reading!
Late afternoon showers used to be one of Beth's favorite luxuries. Long and leisurely, as hot as the water could go.
These showers were unnecessary and wasteful now. She only felt a little guilty as she washed her long hair. Twice. Scrubbed head to toe with the soap Maggie had given her. The scent of lavender floated in the air along with the steam. Lavender always reminded her of Maggie, she loved the scent and grew it in their garden growing up.
Beth dressed in a clean form-fitting shirt Maggie had given her stating she'd never fit into again. Beth laughed, assuring her it would fit again. Maggie felt big and cumbersome. Beth saw her as nothing but beautiful. She was carrying her niece or nephew and that was important work, who cares if she didn't fit in a t-shirt?
She ran a brush through her damp hair and began to tie it back in her usual braid then decided against it. The braid served functionally to keep her hair out of her face while she worked throughout the day. Here, tonight for dinner, it wasn't needed. So she left it down, flowing long down her back. Attaching her knife to her belt and slipping on her boots she left the house. Daryl had disappeared again. It was anyone's guess if he'd show up for dinner or not.
Maggie and Glenn were already seated. Dwight, next to Glenn. He was dressed in a nice button-up western shirt. Worn out, like everything else. But clean. His long hair was clean and combed back off his face. Beth sighed. Shit. He was waiting for her.
She didn't want to hurt anyone. That had never been her style. She was one of the few people that was actually able to remain friends with an ex-boyfriend or the boys that she didn't like in return. It is a bit more difficult now. Men outnumbered women. Emotions ran high. Tempers were generally short.
Not to mention Beth was planning on leaving in a few days. Leaving Maggie was going to be even harder this time around with her expecting. She didn't want to upset her before going by rebuffing Dwight. Still, she wasn't going to string him along.
She sat across the table in front of Maggie, two seats away from Dwight. Smiled politely and said hello to him, turning her attention to Maggie, asking her how she was feeling.
Of course he'd go. Beth wanted him to and suddenly he was the type of guy that went to a community dinner because his woman wanted him to. He wasn't sure what to call Beth. His woman? Wasnt that misogynistic? His girlfriend? That felt too juvenile. His wife? Maybe, one day. Did people even get married anymore? So many questions that hadn't even occurred to him months ago.
He was in over his head and had no idea what to do about it. His immediate plan was to stick with Beth. If she wanted him to go to dinner, he would go. An hour at most and he'd leave but he'd do it - for Beth.
That wasn't to say he wasn't tempted to bail. He could always jump the wall again and find his own dinner there. What did they have at the dining hall that was a whole lot better anyway?
The room was large with concrete walls, and a cement floor the gray color of dirt. Voices bounced loudly off the walls. Instantly a headache began to pound behind his eyes. This was giving him school cafeteria vibes and he did not like it. People sat around six large tables in metal folding chairs. Some had plates filled with food, ready to eat.
Food had become important in a way it hadn't been before for most people. Unless you had experienced food insecurity in the past, it took a long time for folks to adjust to the idea that they couldn't just go to the nearest grocery store anymore. They had to work at it. Foraging, growing, hunting, butchering. Daryl never thought he'd be thankful for being poor until everything went to shit and he had a lifetime of experience to keep him alive.
Beta and Lydia sat at a table with a couple he didn't recognize. Chubs was asleep on his mother's shoulder and she spoke with a woman with dark hair who also held a baby in her arms. Lydia saw him and lifted her hand in a little wave. He nodded in return. Whereas the large group made him weary he knew this was the right place for her. Beta appeared happy as well, talking with the man next to the dark haired woman.
His eyes landed on Beth next. She sat with Maggie and Glenn and a few other people. One, in particular, was way too interested in what she was saying. He was leaning over the table, eyes glued on her. Nodding his head enthusiastically as she talked.
More people were still filing in, making their way through a line at a large passthrough in the wall that opened to a kitchen on the other side, gathering trays with plates of food, then finding a seat. Deanna stood at the end of the line, greeting each person personally. She really was a politician. Maybe a good one. She seemed to actually care for her people.
Beth suddenly appeared next to him. Smiling big like she'd won an argument. In a way, he guessed she had. When he'd seen her earlier that day he told her he wasn't coming to dinner. Except now, here he was. "Hey! You came."
"I did," he agreed. He resisted the urge to run a hand over her long silky hair. She wore it loose and it was almost to her waist, parted down the middle, framing her face in wavy tendrils. God help him, she was beautiful. An open flannel over a tight newer looking shirt. Yellow. The color suited her he decided.
"Hungry?" She asked then waved his answer away. "Too bad if you're not. You're gonna eat." She pulled him to the line where they waited for their turn. It struck him as odd that everyone was so damn friendly.
A handful of people worked in the kitchen. A man at the stove, a woman with her back to them at the sink. A young man and another woman assembled plates on trays. A man with dark hair and a trim beard was scooping food from a large pot onto plates. It resembled spaghetti. Daryl didn't remember feeling any certain way about spaghetti before and he'd eat it no matter what it tasted like. He couldn't be picky. No one could.
The man spooning up the dinner was missing an arm. It had been replaced with a metal hand made contraption of sorts. Daryl would be fucking pissed if he was missing an arm. This man, however, smiled at him and said, "Welcome."
"Aaron, this is Daryl," Beth introduced. How he wished she'd stop doing that. He didn't know how to be friendly.
"Nice to meet you, Daryl." He said with a wide smile in a way that made Daryl believe him. Like it was actually nice to meet him.
Taken aback by his friendliness, he nodded and said," You too." What else could he say? Back the fuck off? That probably wouldn't go over well.
They gathered his food and soon they were standing in front of Deanna. She wore a Cheshire Cat grin. One that said she knew their secrets. Which, he supposed, she did. "Mr. Dixon," she greeted. "And hello again to you Beth. I see you were able to convince him to join us."
She'll be paying for it later, he joked to himself, hiding his slick smile.
"Yep! Miracles still exist," she proclaimed cheerfully.
Maggie and Glenn greeted him just as everyone else had. As though they were actually happy he was there. He was introduced to the man he'd seen Beth speaking to earlier. Dwight. He was only slightly less friendly.
Daryl hadn't been around this many people since high school and even then he'd cut out because it was too much for him. Too many people. Too much noise. Something akin to anxiety stirred in his gut and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to eat. As though reading him, Beth squeezed his thigh under the table and smiled at him. He relaxed. Marginally.
Deanna clapped her hands together to gain everyone's attention. As she began speaking, the group quieted down. Daryl only half listened, twirling a fork in between his thumb and forefinger. She said something about being grateful to everyone that comes to their community. For everyone already there that lends a hand in keeping things running smoothly.
She stopped mid-speech as the door opened, a loud creak echoing in the large cement room. "Ah, there's the rest of our group," Deanna said good-humoredly.
Uninterested, Daryl glanced over his shoulder and looked back toward his plate, freezing midway as something nagged in the back of his mind. A man's voice boomed out, "Sorry Deanna." He spoke with a deep southern drawl. It was as familiar to Daryl as his own voice.
Daryl turned again, actually looking at the group as they made their way to the alcove and got their food, and then made their way to a table.
As he stared, he held his breath. It couldn't be. No way. He had to be dreaming, fucking hallucinating. Something… because what he was seeing couldn't actually be real.
Beth noticed his change in demeanor and placed her hand on his bicep. "Daryl? You okay?" She asked. Her voice was far off and echoey in his ringing ears. His heart beat so hard against his rib cage that it actually ached. Emotion thickened his throat. Something had to be wrong with him. Something was wrong… he looked at Beth, then back to the group.
"Do you know them?" Beth asked, looking over her shoulder at the people that caught his attention.
"No," he managed. "I mean, yes. It can't be…"
Just as the man was about to take his seat, they made eye contact. He stalled, a hand on the back of the chair, knees bent to sit. Frozen in place. Seeming to be just as shocked to see Daryl as Daryl was to see him.
Daryl stood slowly, the scrape of the chair against the concrete floor. As the others realized something, they weren't sure what, but something, was happening, the room grew even quieter. Deanna too. You could hear a pin drop. Everyone watched, Beth and Maggie included, sharing a brief look before focusing back on Daryl and this other man.
Finally, Daryl took a step as did the man, closing the distance in what felt like slow motion. Soon they were standing in front of each other. Actual tears pooled in each man's eyes, neither caring who saw or who might judge them for it.
"Rick?" Daryl asked, his voice a hoarse whisper, still not believing what he was seeing even though the man was standing right in front of him.
Rick nodded, his tears unabashedly falling down his bearded face. "It's me, Daryl. What the hell? I can't..." he stumbled over his words, too overcome to speak.
He placed his hand around the back of Daryl's neck, something no one except a small number of people would be allowed to do, then placed his brow to his. Seconds crept by then they embraced wordlessly. Nothing was to be said. Words lacked severely.
It was a moment none of the bystanders understood, still they grasped the depth of it as they watched the scene play out before them. This sort of thing doesn't happen enough.
"This is the last place I'd expect to find you," Rick finally said when they pulled apart, gesturing to the room, wiping at his face with the back of his hand. "I mean, I hoped you were here. I hoped."
"This is the last place I'd expect to be too," Daryl replied, surprised when a chuckle bubbled up from his chest.
Before either could say anything more, they were interrupted by the scrape of another chair. "Uncle Daryl?" A small voice quacked.
Daryl looked past Rick who stepped to the side. A flash of dark blonde hair, the click of cowboy boots sprinting through the obstacle of tables. Daryl kneeled as she picked up speed and flung herself into his arms, her hand-me-down sheriff's hat falling off her head.
No one knew their story but everyone was moved. Some were in tears, including Beth and Maggie who started, dumbfounded. Sobbing.
He held the girl back by her shoulders, looking over her. "When did you," he began then having to regain his composure before repeating, "When did you get so tall?"
She tried to speak, the words were overtaken by more tears and he embraced her again. "You're not so little anymore, asskicker." Daryl's big hand splayed over her small back, trying so hard to be stoic, to hold back the tears. It was useless though, he had it in his mind he'd never see Judith again. Here she was, halfway to adulthood.
Soon, the rest from the table joined them in the center of the room. Beth watched as everything unfolded in front of her. She'd met them that morning, not knowing the significance until that very moment. All day she'd known they were there, not putting two and two together. Not knowing that this was the Rick that Daryl had spoken of. He talked about him in the past tense. She thought he was dead.
They were new since the last time she'd been there and she'd never met them before. Except for the boy. He'd come through and stayed a few days with his girlfriend, the pretty, young girl with a shy smile. Enid. His name was Carl.
He hugged Daryl and Daryl looked at him like he did Judith, with astonishment. He lightly grasped his chin with his fingertips, turning the boy's face to view his patched eye. He shook his head mournfully. Carl said, "I'm fine now, it's okay." Daryl nodded, hugging him again.
A woman with long dreads and a perfectly round, pregnant belly was last. Daryl smiled broadly. "Holy shit, Michonne."
The woman stood in front of him, her hands on her hips like she had a thing or two to say to him. Her disgruntled expression hardly hid her joy. "You," she said. "You didn't have to go." At that, her face fell and a sob hiccuped and tears flowed.
Daryl grabbed her up into his arms, hugging her awkwardly so as not to crush her protruding belly.
Beth couldn't hear the words but could read his lips saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." His gaze went to Rick briefly who smiled. Still crying. Still not caring who saw.
When she pulled back, his hands went to her belly, staring at it in unbelief. She nodded at him as if she too could not believe it. "Six months," she proclaimed.
And finally, as if this was an encore, there was Carol. Beth knew her from the days she spent at the cabin. She came out of the kitchen to see what the sudden hush was about. Unbelievably she too apparently knew Daryl and walked silently up to him, tapping him on the shoulder. He was hesitant, not wanting to turn away from Michonne.
Carol said, "Remember, I liked you first."
Daryl froze then slowly spun on his heel. He shook his head as though he didn't believe it. Reaching for her, he cupped her face affectionately, warmly saying her name.
Rick joined them, putting his arms around them. Then Michonne. Then Carl and Judith and Enid. Forming a solid group no one could penetrate.
Beth wanted to go to him. Find out what exactly their story was. Be a part of their merriment, their reunion. It wasn't her place, she knew. He looked over at her and she gave a curt nod conveying what, she wasn't sure of.
She didn't blame Daryl when he left with the group to be alone. To talk and discuss. They probably had a lot to say. So she stayed with Maggie and Glenn, drying her eyes. Trying to force herself to eat because you do not waste food nowadays. Carol alone would reem her if she returned her dish with uneaten food.
Reunions were rare. Whole family, whether it be by blood or by heart, reunions were almost unheard of. She could almost guarantee everyone in that room was happy for them but also a little sad for themselves.
Emotionally drained from the evening Beth went home with Maggie. Glenn stayed behind at the kitchen to help clean up. Maggie was sent home with direct orders from Denise to put her feet up. By the end of the day, her ankles and feet usually swelled. This day was no different.
Beth fussed over her. Taking off her shoes for her, placing a pillow under her feet. Getting her water. Now she was laying next to her, waiting for the baby to move again. She'd be leaving soon so she wanted to absorb as much baby-ness as she could. Her heart was heavy, for leaving Maggie and also for leaving Chubs behind.
As sad as she was to leave she couldn't put off leaving much longer if she wanted to get her garden started in time for the summer. She was tempted to stay but she did not want to abandon the cabin, not after lighting a match to the farm. If she left the cabin it'd be like leaving her father behind all over again. The cabin was here home, not this place.
"You're quiet," Maggie said around a yawn. "You hardly spoke to Dwight."
"Just tired I guess," she answered, rubbing her hand over Maggie's belly.
Maggie sat up and grabbed the extra blanket that was at the end of the bed and covered Beth. "You can sleep here. Glenn can camp out in the spare room or on the couch."
"Oh, I don't want to put him out," she said, resting her cheek in her hand on the pillow, stretching her legs.
"You know he won't care. He'll probably be happy to not sleep in the same bed as me tossing and turning all night. "
Beth laughed. "What makes you think I would want to then?"
"Cause I'm your sister and you miss me," Maggie sassed.
Maggie was never shy about bringing up the fact that Beth didn't live at the community with her. This was the first visit where there was zero tension between them. Beth had been hurt that Maggie left the cabin and Maggie had been hurt that Beth refused to stay with her. They both had their reasons, both tried to understand. She was usually ready to leave after a few days here. Not this time. The baby changed everything, opened her eyes to what she'd be missing.
"Or, you could just stay," Maggie spoke lightly. Beth saw the earnest hopefulness in her eyes and her stomach tightened. "You and Dwight can get together and have lots of babies and we can raise them together."
That had been their plan when they were younger. To live near each other and have Saturday morning coffee and sit out on the porch in the evening. Except Maggie had planned on being the cool aunt and Beth would be the mom with a gaggle of kids.
"Maggie," Beth sighed. She wanted so badly to tell her about Daryl. She wondered, though, if there was anything to tell. Everything changed that afternoon. Didn't it? "I'll make an effort to visit more often." She had already decided that when she saw Maggie was pregnant.
Maggie smiled. "You better. Who else is gonna show this boy how to climb trees if not you?"
Beth tried to sleep. She was the one that ended up tossing and turning. The scene at dinner played over and over again in her mind, a lump of emotion lodged in her throat. She figured she'd get no sleep unless she was able to talk to Daryl and figure out why this insistent uneasy feeling nagged at her.
Well, she knew what caused the uneasy feeling. Daryl will most likely want to stay on or go wherever his group was going. Just like with Maggie, she didn't blame him. It was obvious the group shared an incredible bond.
She slid out of bed and snuck out of the bedroom, leaving Maggie sound asleep. She walked down the hall, past the room Glenn was sleeping in, and down the stairs. The floorboards were cool under her bare feet and she tried to avoid the spots that might be creeky.
Next to the door, she gathered her boots, socks stuck inside, and quietly unlatched the door stepping out into the cool night air. She sat on the stairs to put on her socks and boots before making her way five houses down.
"I can't fucking believe this," Rick said when he and Daryl were finally alone. "I really can't." His southern boy twang changed the word can't to cain't.
Rick was on the floor leaning against the upright chair facing the fireplace, the window cracked allowing a breeze to follow through. Daryl was kicked back on the sofa. It was late. He didn't know how late because time didn't really exist anymore, he just knew it was well past dark. He and Rick and Michonne, Carl and Enid, and Judith and Carol spent hours talking and catching up. And then Judith went to bed, followed by Carl and Enid. Carol left to go to her house about an hour ago. Shortly after Michonne gave up and went to bed.
In spurts and stops and starts and everyone talking over everyone else, they tried to explain to Daryl what had happened. He still wasn't sure he understood. Obviously, Rick hadn't died after all. A part of Daryl knew it all along. He didn't feel the finality of him being gone. Deep in his bones, he had known his brother was still alive. He'd never forgive himself for not searching harder.
"Don't do it, man," Rick told him. "I know you. I know you'll blame yourself. Michonne said you 'bout killed yourself lookin' for me."
Daryl chuckled. Rolled his eyes. "Didn't almost kill myself."
Though it was probably true. He went days without eating or sleeping those first few weeks after the bridge blew up. Devastation mixed with desperation, he searched for any sign of him to no avail. Eventually, Carol left, then Carl and Enid. Then Michone started talking about moving, taking Judith with her out east. He knew it was something she felt she needed to do and wouldn't do if Daryl was still around so he left too.
Not a star was to be spotted in the sky. The moon was hidden behind the velvety black sky. She followed the path leading to the left, counting the doors as she went. Each house was dark and quiet except for the fifth one. A light glowed behind the window in what she knew to be the living room. Behind the glass, two figures were silhouetted against the fire. She climbed the steps of the porch and rose her hand to knock quietly. The murmured words through the open front window stalled her.
"When I woke up I didn't know where I was. Jadis said we were miles away, that she had fuckin' medivac-ed me out of there. She saved my life," Rick paused as though he was still astonished.
"As soon as I was better I made my way here. Prayed like I ain't never prayed before that you all would be here. That was our plan, wasn't it? To find a place. "A community"," he said using air quotes around the words.
Daryl nodded, fidgeting with the loose strings of his jeans. That was what they had planned. To start something, a palace they could call home.
"I don't even know how long it took me. Months, hell maybe a year? Felt like a year but it couldn't have been. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes when I got here. My family," his voice wavered, emotion thick. "They were here." Tears burned in his eyes.
Daryl leaned forward, listened to him intently. Letting him talk.
"Michonne got pregnant about two seconds later," he smiled through his tears. "We had everything. "'Cept you."
Daryl wasn't sure what to say. His time spent with them was the happiest he'd ever been, other than these last few months with Beth. They showed him who he was capable of being. A brother. An uncle. A contributing member to a family.
Beth had shown him he was capable of a different kind of love.
"You gotta stay. Now that we're all back together, you haveta' stay. We can really build something here. I know it," he spoke with such earnest that Daryl believed him.