Trigger Warning: As stated in previous chapters, please do not read this chapter if you are affected by rape or violence! This, and upcoming chapters will be discussing rape and violence! As a writer/editor, I DO NOT WANT TO TRIGGER MY READERS. So, please proceed with caution! Also, please remember that I was asked to edit this, so if if you have issues with the story, please don't read it! DON'T ATTACK ME! Try reading my other stories that do not address these topics!

Chapter 17: Utopia

Patient: Grey, Meredith E, 12/12/99
Address: 308-56 Elsmere Blvd. WA
Home #: 786-908-7634
SSN#: 675-98-0997
Sex: F
Mobile #: 897-897-0990
Marital Status: Single
Pt ID: 43

Allergies: Codeine, Peanets
Other sensitivities: None
Social HX: None
Insurance: No insurance info

Chart Note: Dr. Shepherd's VIPatient.

Patient: Sloan, Parker L 11/19/95
Address: 815- 90 Willmer Street, WA
Home #: 908-099-0098
SSN#: 576-87-1123
Sex: M
Mobile #: 897-098-8762
Marital Status: Single
Pt ID: 44

Allergies: Insullin
Other sensitivities: None
Social HX: None
Insurance: No insurance info

Chart Note: Dr. Shepherd's VIPatient.

Meredith was safe in Derek's arms, although her shaking and sobs that were smothers against his shoulder stated otherwise. The bedspread was still around her, covering her injured body. He had requested a patient room farther down the hall where there wouldn't be too much chaos, far from the nurses station where heads were already turning while his girlfriend was brought in on a stretcher by the paramedics clinging onto him.

He held onto her twice as hard not letting go even if the halls were far too narrow to his body right next to the gurney. He didn't let go.

Now, they were in the privacy of a room, closed shut while she still clung to his arms crying, murmuring some kind of help. She was broken, only holding on by a thread. He needed to be strong for her, hold back the tears that threatened to fall down from his eyes.

He wanted to push his face into her hair and cry with her. But she didn't need that. Not right now.

"Shh, Mer. I'm here, I'm never going to leave you okay." he whispered against her slowly removing the blanket from her body. She started fighting him, she didn't want him to see her body after what had happened.

She wanted to hide, she cried louder.

"Mer, look at me." he commanded gently. She shook her head. "Meredith, look at me. Everything is going to be okay." Her eyes reluctantly obeying him, so teary and hurt, dampening her face with the salty trails mixed with her blood. "Just keep your eyes on me." he cooed softly removing her blanket tossing it to the side and inching the thin patients gown closer to him with one hand, not looking away from his girlfriend.

Finally his hand grasped the flimsy material in his hand putting it onto her body.

"Mer. Shhhh, I'm here baby. I'm here, no need to cry." he whispered against her face, kissing her ever so gently. Bailey had already done a rape kit on her which took longer than initially expected. Meredith was fragile in better words, very cautious and scared for anybody else other than Derek or Aaron to touch her.

She would cry and call out for him in pain, a wounded animal left at the side of the street to die all alone. She would beg for him to hold her, be near her and whisper the soft words he had done for the past few hours, every little gesture thought out by each one of them if directed towards her. After seeing what had happened in the other room, she was startled as hell, feeling as if the whole world was ready to swallow her tiny body.

"Der..." she whispered, clinging onto his shirt.

"Everything will be okay baby. I'm going to make sure he pays for what he did to you." he assured her, continuing the rocking, her in his lap while he sat on the bed. She had been x-rayed a few minutes ago, only having a few fractures here and there that would likely heal itself, and bruises that could only fade in a matter of weeks still sore and painful none the less. "You're going to feel better soon, I know it's hard, but I promise you. You will get better."

"Yeah?" she whispered, the last few tears falling from her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Yeah." he smiled, happy that she was talking now, not just his name crying out from her lips in pure fear. "And when you're ready you need to talk to the police." he sighed, her face hiding in the crook of his neck as soon as he told her. "Mer..."

"No..." she sobbed.

"I can be there right with you holding your hand. It doesn't have to be now."

"I don't want to remember!" she cried.

"Oh sweetie, I know you don't. It's even harder for me to think about the things he did to you, but in order to make him pay you have to give your statement.

"Please, I don't...I..do..don't want to." she begged. He sighed once again, repositioning her body closer to his, pulling up the blanket feeling her shiver every once in a while by the cool temperature of the room. "I'm...I'm sorry." she whispered, surprising Derek as he pulled back trying to meet her eyes that were currently casted downwards.

"Sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for." he replied, strongly as she grimaced in his arms.

"Yes I do." her meek voice barely heard while she was just inches away.

"No you don't." his voice firm as he shook his head. "You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. Understand?"

She shook her head.

"Mer..."

"Utopia." she whispered.

"What? Mer, what are you talking about?" he asked in panic, a sudden change of subject.

"Utopia." she replied, again not willing to answer her question.

"You're scaring me baby." she whispered, pushing back the strands of hair covering her bandaged cheek. "I don't understand."

Utopia

What do you think Meredith means by "utopia?"