Note:

A few answers to guest reviews that I can't directly respond to: Lily's hair is black at the moment. She doesn't know what happened to her wand. The Nazgûl is dead; for non-book readers, I'll explain. In the books, the Nazgûl never die and come back to life. This is a movie invention. Another thing to add, for those doubtful that Lily could have killed one, the Nazgûls' power is tied to their master, Sauron. When he is diminished, so are they. When his strength grows, so does theirs.

Chapter Three

Like a Wounded Animal

Lily whispered the incantation into her hands, gently, as if magic would fail her if she was too harsh with it. Water rose from her palms swiftly, like it had been trapped beneath her skin, eager to escape at last. Then she turned it to ice, and with another spell, "Episkey," it became something more. Or so she hoped.

A few years ago, before her fifth year at Hogwarts, she wouldn't have thought to use a healing charm in such an unconventional manner; but the threat of Voldemort had pushed her into new understandings of magic, of how it worked, of just how flexible and versatile each and every spell could be, if only applied right.

The ice had a better chance of tempering her magic, uncontrollable and wild as it may be without a focus, such as a wand; and even with wands, certain spells often worked much better if applied to an object first rather than directly (flying brooms, Time-Turners, invisibility cloaks). She feared she might make the old man explode if she were to try it directly on his hands. She had already set him on fire when she had only meant to Stun him.

"Here," she said, holding the ice out to him. "Just... let it melt a little in your hands."

"Ah, thank you, thank you," he said softly, leaning forward and cupping the ice. He sat back on his boulder and sighed with relief. "Wonderful... oh, yes, it soothes the skin rather nicely."

Lily grimaced apologetically. "I'm sorry again. These past few weeks — or months, I don't know — they've reduced to me to — to like a wounded animal, I guess. I can barely think straight sometimes. I didn't mean to cast fire at you."

"No worries, my dear, no worries at all. I'm quite fond of animals. Taking care of them, making sure they recover nice and easy should injury or illness befall them..." His words were gentle and light, as though she were his precious granddaughter, as though she hadn't just lit him on fire, as though she really were a wounded animal.

A full recovery was probably a little beyond her, though... Her mind and soul felt too defiled to ever put back together. But his hands were not, and the least she could do was better them.

"Well," she said, "if I did the spell properly, the ice should at least partially heal your burns. Give it a few minutes."

"Quite curious," he murmured, "quite curious..." He rolled the ice over in his hands. "Strange magic it is. Few I know could heal so swiftly an injury... and then even athelas or some other such herb might be needed."

Lily wondered how powerful his magic was if he couldn't heal a simple burn even with a staff — for wizard he was. Their magic had clashed in their quick duel. Having been woken from her dreams of dead things, Lily had attempted to send a Stunner after the wizard almost instinctively. Yet only fire had burst forth. Her experiences thus far in this cruel world were that of evil, and only evil. Careful consideration could have cost her life, and so she had attacked rashly.

Their fight was short-lived indeed. Strange words had spilled from his lips the moment her hand had ignited; too late to stop the first bout of flames, but the rest had waned halfway the distance, setting the area between them alight, soon diminishing altogether. Lily had scrambled quite a distance away from him — like a frightened cat, slinking back into the shadows of Mirkwood. And he coaxed her out as if she were one, with patience and gentle words. And food.

And now they were here, the two of them sitting on boulders near the edge of Mirkwood. The sun was climbing to its peak in the blue sky, but it was not strong, and the wind was pleasantly cool, especially after the unmoving thick air of the forest. Lily ate (some vegetarian meal wrapped in a large leaf) while he talked.

He explained himself: apparently, while she was making a ruckus running through Mirkwood, he had heard her and come to investigate. He had been what had followed her in the woods, and what had scared away the lurking critters in the dark. But he had been cautious, and waited until dawn to introduce himself.

"You haven't introduced yourself," she said, finally speaking up. "Not yet."

"Radagast," the wizard said. "Radagast the Brown."

"Radagast the Brown," Lily repeated.

What an unusual world this was, evil and corrupted but also strange; from her time with the orcs and here now, it was clear this world's inhabitants talked a bit odd, like she might expect out of someone still living in the nineteenth century, at times more archaic than Dumbledore's speech, and it was clear their customs were different too. Radagast the Brown... Lilith the Black... and there were similar names too somewhere deep in her forgotten memories.

Never once had she heard Dumbledore call himself Dumbledore the White, for his hair and beard, or Dumbledore the Purple, for those absurd robes he liked to wear.

(And oh how her heart ached now for Dumbledore's company.)

"And you, my dear?" said Radagast.

"Lily," she said absently, but Radagast continued to stare expectantly at her, as though expecting her to continue. "Calla Lily Potter?" she added, maybe hoping it would spark recognition in his eyes.

"Calla Lily Potter?" said Radagast. "Well, it is a long name. And indeed your features are regal. Are you of royalty? Or of a pottery profession?"

Lily nearly laughed, and said, "No, that's just my surname. I just — I didn't like Calla growing up, and then the name became too well-known for my comfort, so I just went with Lily." She shrugged. "Made me feel more connected to my mother too, I suppose. She died young, so I've tried to do right by her. I don't know if it makes sense, but it just stuck. I'm not any sort of royalty. Though I had hoped you'd have heard of me, at least."

"Indeed? Are you of great renown?"

She gave a thin, false smile and said, "Somewhere far away, yeah, you could say that."

Radagast said nothing, only staring at her but with unfocused eyes and in some kind of thought. She went back to her food to finish it. Then he said, "Your business may be your own, but do not deny you are lost and confused. It is clear in your eyes. So what may you tell me? Where do you wish to go?"

Lily licked the remaining crumbs off her fingers, eyed him, then rose to her feet. She looked around, as though there'd be signposts to guide her home. "I don't know. North... West... Maybe back to Dol Guldur..." She looked to the distant west. Against the sky were the faint outlines of tall mountains. Her eyes were sharper now than they were back when she still wore glasses, and they also caught a faraway river.

Radagast's eyes were still on her, the concern tripled in force. "Dol Guldur?" he said quietly. "By the — there are no curses for such foolishness! What could you possibly find in that dark fortress?"

"I don't know," said Lily again. "Answers?"

"Answers for what?" said Radagast. "What questions does one such as yourself have that Dol Guldur of all places damned and defiled is the place to answer them?"

"I didn't have time to really search the place," she continued, not really sure what her questions were either. "Those Nazgûl came, and I —"

"Nazgûl." It was more a statement than a question. Radagast's calm demeanor had disappeared, replaced by fear and a sudden lunge for his staff.

"You know them?"

Radagast stood and looked around, as though the wraiths would burst from the trees at any moment.

"Radagast!" said Lily, bringing his attention back to her. "They're not here. I can feel them when they're near, and —"

"Aye, their mere presence is terrible," said Radagast, eyes wide, "and all those around the Nazgûl will feel their evil. But do I feel it now from their presence or from your frightful words, I do not know."

"I don't feel them now." Lily glanced back at the forest. "But we should move anyway. They're probably on my trail, or trying to find it at least."

"The Nine follow you?" said Radagast, his fear growing.

"Eight."

"What?"

"Eight," repeated Lily. "There's eight now. Well, there were four at Dol Guldur, but who knows where the others are. I had to kill one to flee. At least I think I killed it. I tried to Apparate out of Dol Guldur, but that put me somewhere... somewhere different." She fought back a shiver. "Apparating back, I fell right into one of them, and — well, he's dead now..." She trailed off, seeing Radagast's expression.

His fear had been tempered with surprise and awe, and some confusion too, and he stared at her for a moment longer than Lily was comfortable with.

"You slew a Nazgûl?" he said in an odd, disbelieving sort of voice.

Lily felt another sudden urge to light Radagast on fire again, but she squashed it, worrying that perhaps these momentary surges of fury were Lilith attempting to rise again. Or had she been so thoroughly broken in Dol Guldur that the anger she had once tempered was reborn?

"Not without great difficulty," she said slowly, keeping her tone as calm and collected as she could, and she showed him her hands, which were still healing from the frostbite-like injuries they gained from touching the Nazgûl. "I had a bunch of other bruises from falling down the hill, but they're gone now. I kind of heal fast."

Radagast shuffled forward, taking one of her hands into his. "You do not use athelas?"

"I've no idea what that is."

"Kingsfoil."

"Still don't know."

He blinked, then slowly looked up toward her eyes. "Your magic is strange, yet powerful; you seem educated, yet you lack much knowledge; you appear young, so young, as if only sixteen, and yet your eyes carry a heavy weight to them." Radagast's eyes felt as though they were staring into her soul, then they sparked with realization, and then again with sorrow. "From the West you may have come, then, but swiftly imprisoned. Oh, what evils must have befallen you."

"I'm eighteen," was all Lily said, and even it was spoken halfheartedly.

"You do not deny the rest."

Though it was still morning, Lily wished to close her eyes and go to sleep, a dreamless slumber in which she could rest from this conversation. It wasn't a particularly emotional discussion, not something that should drain her energy — and yet it did. She sat back down, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she looked up at the wizard.

"Radagast... I don't know where I am. I'm not from Middle-earth, but I know I've spent some time here. Maybe I'm not even eighteen anymore. I don't know if I've come from this West of yours. I can't remember anything of this world but my time in Dol Guldur's dungeons, if there even is anything else. But I remember before Dol Guldur, though it all seems so far away now."

For a long moment Radagast just stared, his expression intense and emotional. Then he nodded, and a moment later a brown elk with enormous antlers burst from the forest, startling Lily into a defensive position as it bound over to Radagast, who held out a palm to her.

"Panic not, for this is a friend. An elven elk." It was an elk indeed, though its antlers looked as if they belonged to a moose, and she had never seen an elk so large and majestic. "Perhaps you have slain a Nazgûl, but perhaps you have not, for such evil has a way of deceiving its enemies. And whether it be Eight or Nine, the Nazgûl remain treacherous."

"Are you leaving?" said Lily, disheartened. "I mean, I get it — I'm dangerous —"

Radagast gave her another one of his kind smiles. "We are leaving, my dear. Come, there is room enough for the both of us. I will take us to safer lands." He patted the elk, and it crouched down to allow Radagast to throw himself on top. After a bit of a struggle, silly enough to make Lily really smile for the first time in months, he reached out a hand for her.

She walked over and grabbed it, allowing him to pull her up. What choice did she have? It was either this or walk on foot with the Nazgûl surely on her trail, and Radagast seemed a good man. Maybe he could have used a bath or two, but his earthy scent wasn't unpleasant. It was certainly preferable to the stench of orcs.

"Might I ask you a question?" said Radagast as the elk began moving them westward. "Where is it you think you are? And where do you wish to be?"

"I wish to be in Britain, but you don't know where that is," said Lily, and Radagast shook his head in agreement. "Or Europe? The United Kingdom?"

"No, the names are unfamiliar to me," said Radagast. "But much of the West is now forgotten to me, so long has it been..."

"You think it's this West that I'm from?" asked Lily, wrapping her cloak cozily around her as she leaned into Radagast's back.

"Where else? I believe you were sent here as I was, an Istar, to help Middle-earth against the dark forces. And perhaps you were taken on the voyage by the Necromancer, for she is known to sail the seas. And then trapped inside Dol Guldur, where your memories were further stripped of you."

"What's an Istar?" said Lily, her voice slightly muffled.

"A wizard," said Radagast. "There were five of us, but now there are six. Some call us the Istari."

"There are only five wizards?" said Lily, her hope once again deflating.

"Six now," said Radagast, a smile in his voice. "I thought perhaps you were just a human sorceress, but now I think not. A mastery of death hangs about you like a cloak."

Lily wasn't sure what to say or think. A mastery of death — could he be referring to the Deathly Hallows? She had become the Master of Death, though she had not believed it had meant anything. Had it? Could they be the reason she was sent here, to a place where such a thing was recognizable? How could Radagast even tell? Or were his words mere coincidence? And could there truly be only five other wizards in Middle-earth? And what good would they be, if Radagast was a standard?

But no, that wasn't fair. Radagast had watched over her, had given her something to eat, was protecting her now, was answering her questions as she, a stranger to him, rested further on his back. She could have used a few more hours of sleep. Maybe more than a few.

"As for where I think I am," she said, "that would be Middle-earth, right?"

"Indeed it would."

"And what's Middle-earth? Is it the world in its entirety?"

"Middle-earth is a continent, which lies on the world of Arda."

Lily nodded. It was hitting her once again that she was quite literally on another planet. Probably another universe entirely, as it was impossible there was another planet in her universe where humans existed and also spoke her tongue. "And the other continents?"

"You do not remember any?" said Radagast, sounding somewhat surprised.

"No," said Lily, deciding it was simpler to lie about amnesia than explain she was from another dimension. He seemed comforted and reassured that she was from this West, so she let him believe it for now.

Radagast nodded grimly. "Dol Guldur must have —"

"The other continents, Radagast," she said tiredly.

"Of course," he said. "There is Middle-earth. To the south of Middle-earth, the Dark Land; to the east, the Land of the Sun; there is nothing to the north but frozen waste."

"And where are we going now?"

"To find some answers from a friend. It is some twenty leagues from here. Sixty miles, if that is your measurement."

That meant hours of riding, probably. They were in for a good bit of conversation. Lily didn't mind. It would give her time to get as much information out of him as possible.

"What kind of answers?" she asked.

Radagast appeared to think for a moment before coming to a decision. "I suppose it's of no harm telling you what I know. You are from the West. One of us now, I should think, and as I am not considered one of the Wise then I cannot tell you what you ought not to know anyway. And this is the reason I have traveled south from my home, Rhosgobel, some fifty leagues north from here, right on the edge of Mirkwood."

Lily appreciated that he expanded on things he said without her having to ask. It was another kind gesture, his willingness to explain and his patience with her apparent amnesia.

"And what is this West?" said Lily before he could continue. "You said that's where I'm from."

"To the west now lies the New Lands," said Radagast, "but that is not of what I speak."

"Middle-earth, Dark Land, Land of the Sun, New Lands..." Lily gave a faint snort. "Creative."

Radagast hummed. "Yes, I suppose they are unimaginative... Though to the west there was once another, before the New Lands..."

"Oh?" What did that even mean? Before the New Lands?

"Aman," said Radagast, and there was a kind of nostalgia in his voice. "It was called Aman."

"It sounds nice."

"I would not know. I did once, but that knowledge is now lost to me... as it is to you. But my forgetfulness comes from very long years. Though your eighteen of torment must have seemed longer."

"Is it gone now?" said Lily.

"Gone?" said Radagast. "No, not gone, not entirely. It has merely left Arda in its way... And now the New Lands lie west, though some may sail west still to reach Aman, the home of the Valar."

Lily had no idea what any of that meant. "The Valar?"

"The Powers of Arda," said Radagast, looking back at her. "Those who shaped the world and created the land which you sit, stand, and ride upon."

It sounded a lot like religious nonsense to Lily. She gave an unconvincing smile and nodded.

Radagast smiled too, but genuinely. "You do not believe me. Your loss of memory must be deep if you do not recall even the Valar. I do not begrudge you for it, though I am curious on how it is you experienced the Nazgûl and all their horror yet still do not believe in the existence of the Ainur?"

"I've dealt with things like the Nazgûl back home," said Lily. "But I've never seen any evidence of actual gods or disappearing continents. Disappearing cities or even islands, sure, but entire continents vanishing and new ones taking their place?" She shook her head. "Should I be trusting anything that comes out of your mouth, Radagast?"

"I speak only the truth!" said Radagast in good humour. "Indeed, we ourselves are kin to the Valar. Though perhaps they have distanced themselves further from us now... We are the Maiar, those of the Ainur created by Eru before the Years of the Lamps. And it seems you do remember some of it, if you remember things like the Nazgûl and disappearing islands. The Downfall of Númenor, perhaps?"

"I only understood half of those words," said Lily, a laugh in her voice.

He hummed in amusement. "It is good to see you still capable of laughter. In truth, I'm not so sure myself. Long has it been since those days, and perhaps my memory has faded to the point of utter inaccuracy. Think of it as nothing but the ramblings of an old man."

"Oh, I'm already ahead of you," said Lily, gazing at the view. It really was beautiful, the plains and the far distant river and the mountains beyond it, all untouched by industry and pollution. Not even the land around Hogwarts had been so pure and fresh in air. Even the birds and wildlife were more alive out here, now that they were farther away from Mirkwood. "So what of our immediate surroundings? What's around us?"

"You've experienced Mirkwood," said Radagast. "That forest is all there will be to the east for our entire journey, so vast and deep it is. And you see the Misty Mountains. They are all there will be to the west for our entire journey."

"So vast and tall they are," said Lily in acknowledgement.

"And hazardous," said Radagast. "There are few safe passages through them. And they reach farther north and south than Mirkwood."

"What's south from here?"

Radagast gave a slightly sorrowful sigh. "Rohan," he said. "Plagued by the harsh winter they now struggle through. From the west it came, the bitter winds and icy storms. From north, truly, descending down upon Arnor like a creeping doom. And now it spreads slowly through the Gap of Rohan, a land between the Misty and White Mountains. The winter even kisses the western lands of Gondor, south of those White Mountains."

Lily really needed a map. She told him so.

"Oh, I have one," said Radagast, reaching into his robes.

"You've had one this whole time?" said Lily, swatting his arm lightly. "Why didn't you say so?"

"Well, why didn't you ask?" said Radagast indignantly, and he handed her a rolled up piece of parchment.

Lily smiled, because of their comfortable banter and because the parchment was familiar. Opening the map up, she let her eyes roam over it almost hungrily, drinking in every bit of information like Hermione would. Radagast stayed quiet, and for at least an hour she memorized all she could.

Everything he had said was true. And when she saw some of the names, they sparked some kind of memory at the back of her head, something not easily grasped. The forest named Lothlórien gave her that same forbidding feeling when she had previously thought of the west. Or was that unease Lilith's?

"What's in Lothlórien?" she said, and when she looked back up, she was startled to discover the elk was cantering, nearly galloping. It was so smooth she could barely feel it.

Radagast startled too, as though he had forgotten she was there. "What?"

"Lothlórien," said Lily again. "What's in it?"

"Oh," said Radagast, slowing the elk. "Elves. And a friend."

Was that where they were heading then? West to Lothlórien? And house-elves?

But then that same subconscious, mnemonic part of her brain told her she had it wrong, and that the Elves were not at all like the ones she knew. She tried desperately to capture those fleeting and tantalizing fragments of memory hanging at the edges of her mind, but simply could not manage it. All she knew was that Lilith was afraid of Lothlórien.

Did that mean it was a place of good, one that had been opposed to Lilith's evils? It had to be if Radagast was heading there. Unless he believed his friend was captured in Lothlórien. It wasn't as though evil couldn't be afraid of other evil. Death Eaters had been afraid of Voldemort, and she was rather sure Voldemort would have been at least slightly frightened by Sauron.

Sauron.

There it was again, the sudden and random appearance of relevant information. The Shadow had been called Sauron by Lilith. And the name carried with it a hint of fear, just as Lothlórien did. But no deeper details presented themselves. She hated this, how scrambled her thoughts were.

"Who's Sauron?" she asked.

Radagast stiffened. "You remember that name?"

"It just came to me."

For a moment, Radagast said nothing. But then he shook himself and spoke. "Sauron is the Dark Lord, an ancient Maia who has been on Middle-earth longer than all the Istari combined. He was originally thought to be the Necromancer, before it was learned it was in fact Lilith the Black." Now Lily stiffened, and he felt it. "Ah. I will not ask you to elaborate, for she puts fear into my heart as well. You must know. And terrible more is that now there is her and Sauron as well to deal with... Middle-earth is not prepared for such evils. Though we do not know where Sauron is or has been for many years now."

"What do you know of her?" said Lily quietly.

"The Necromancer has been our greatest foe in these recent years," said Radagast, and he lowered his voice too, as if Lilith could be listening. "Some did not believe it to be a woman at first, but the White Council knew better, and the rest learned soon enough. That is the 'we' I spoke of; a gathering of the wisest loremasters of Middle-earth. Though my place in it is contested... Hm...

"She is Lilith the Black, the Necromancer, the Witch-Queen, a sorceress far mightier than Radagast the Brown. I saw her only once, from afar, amongst dead trees in the night. Her mere presence was horrible to behold. Eerily she stood still, as if she were a spectre from a cruel nightmare. I could not move. I do not know what came over me, but my throat closed and my eyes burned and my ears rang. She did not look at me, but I believe she knew I was there."

Lily felt her own throat tighten. He was describing exactly what Sauron felt like. Had she truly become so evil? Before Sauron she would have assumed he was exaggerating, because surely merely seeing someone from afar couldn't produce such results of fear; not even dementors could do that; but she had met Sauron, or at least a shadow of him, and that unseen shade was enough to do to her as Lilith had done to Radagast.

"Alas for Mirkwood," he said. "The only good thing to come from it is that she seemed to not like the spiders. And thus, none have seen them in the woods for years."

Lily's throat became even more dry. "Years? So she's been around for a while?"

"Oh yes," said Radagast. "She and the White Council are why I am so far south. Ah! I have not told you that tale, have I?"

"No, I interrupted you."

"I do not know all the details," said Radagast, "but I will tell you what I have been told: for many years the Witch-Queen has been a deadly danger to Middle-earth, but especially Rhovanion. That is the entire region that takes up —"

"Yeah, I know," said Lily, looking at the map. "It covers all of Mirkwood and the land surrounding it."

"And all the lands were in danger," continued Radagast. "And the White Council was against her from the start, though Gandalf the Grey believed the Necromancer to be Sauron at first. But it wasn't until the Witch-Queen extended her evil reach to all of Middle-earth, from Lindor to Harad, that she was more fiercely opposed.

"The White Council traveled to Dol Guldur to confront her just two days past. And so they did. Though I do not know what has happened. Down south I saw many lights flashing, and I assume a great battle happened. I went to Dol Guldur, but it was abandoned; though perhaps I had missed you, for there was much rubble and dust. But now I have come across you. Now we ride to Lothlórien, so that I may see about the fate of the battle. And to tell that Gandalf was not completely incorrect; for if the Nazgûl are about, then the Enemy is indeed growing stronger, as Gandalf feared..."

Lily tried not to panic at his words. Had Lilith killed his friends? She hadn't seen any human bodies, but it was as Radagast had said: there was much rubble and dust.

"— then the terrible winter came across much of Arnor," said Radagast, and Lily realized he was still talking.

"The winter? In Rohan?" she said.

"Yes, and west of Rohan in Arnor. Saruman believes it is the Witch-Queen's doing. It is an unnatural winter."

Her doing? Lily wondered. Could she have done such a thing? Maybe the likes of Dumbledore could bring a winter over a whole land, but surely she wasn't capable of it. But then again, this wasn't Lily. It was Lilith who had done so.

"Who's Saruman?"

And so they rode, Radagast answering every question he could. About Saruman, about the five Istari and the White Council, about Mirkwood and Lothlórien, about the Elves and the Dwarves and everything else she was curious about. Radagast's knowledge did not extend to all of Middle-earth, however, as he spent most of his time here in the Vales of Anduin, the long valley which the nearing river ran through.

At times Lilith's memories would surface and she would finish Radagast's sentence for him. So Radagast rambled on, telling her all sorts of things in hopes it would help her memory. Or rather, Lilith's memory, but Radagast didn't need to know that.

"Hm. Odd that I cannot see them as of late," said Radagast as he gazed off into the distance after telling her of the Great Eagles. "They are often seen flying about the peaks of the Misty Mountains. Yet on my journey southward I did not see one of them, and now there is no sign of them also..."

Lily remembered her dreams. Of the cries of eagles, of what she thought were balls of flame coming down from the stars above. She felt her stomach twist, and so she changed the subject, asking him if he had anything she could pour water into.

Radagast had water, but Lily conjured her own and poured it into a spare canteen of the wizard's. Finding some meat to eat was out of the question. Radagast had a very deep love for animals indeed, and he scowled something fierce when she asked if she could kill and roast a squirrel.

"The squirrel has done you no ill! How would you feel if someone plucked you from your habitat for their own desires?" he said pointedly.

"What Sauron did is a little different, I think," she said, annoyed.

"Don't say his name!"

"Oh, not this again. Would you like me to call him You-Know-Who?"

"I'm afraid I don't know who," said Radagast, handing her some berries.

She took them grumpily. And after she tried them, she took more gratefully, and then magically doubled them. For all his outlandishness, Radagast was enjoyable to spend time with. She couldn't quite connect to him personally, for they had almost nothing but magic in common, but his kindness and love for life was unmatched by anyone she had ever met. He reminded her somewhat of Hagrid. It was comforting.

Some time later, when the sun was setting, they stopped and found a place to rest for the night. Lily gave the elk a berry she had enlarged to absurd size. Or rather, Radagast had given it to the elk after he had stopped examining it with great interest. But then his mood became somber as they readied for sleep.

"Be alert even in your slumber," he said, "for the Nazgûl are most powerful when the sun is gone. Then the terror which comes over others in their presence is increased greatly."

"I know," said Lily, staring into the dark blue fire she had made.

"Unfortunate that you do," said Radagast. "I will sleep with my eyes open."

And indeed he did. He fell asleep before she did, though his eyes remained wide. It would have been amusing, perhaps, had not his words placed an unease over her heart. Nothing came in the night, though.

The next day was more of the same: hours of riding across the lands, which were mostly flat with nothing but scattered trees and tall grass, which grew taller the more they traveled, eventually reaching all the way to their waists. This didn't stop the elk from galloping, however.

"Shouldn't the elk slow down a bit?" said Lily. "There might be a hole or rock or something up ahead that —"

"This is an elven elk," said Radagast. "It will know."

"If you say so."

"I do. As a matter of fact, here, I will show you."

"Is it easy to ride?" asked Lily.

"Say not it, nor ride," said Radagast, "for we do not ride elven elk; instead they allow us to be carried by them. We may merely guide them in our preferred direction."

The two of them switched positions then, so that she directed the elk instead. It was easier than she expected. It certainly felt as though the elk was giving her the privilege of travelling on top of it. They rode this way for the rest of the day, and again slept when night came, this time in the comfort and privacy of the tall grass.

Finally on the third day, they neared the Great River, Anduin. And across the rushing water, in the distance, was Lothlórien. Even from miles away Lily was taken aback by how otherworldly it looked.

The trees were of mighty girth, though Lily could not guess their height, only that they were taller than any trees she had ever seen before; some as tall and nearly as thick as the towers of Hogwarts, perhaps. Their bark was grey, and with the reflecting sunlight the outer trees held a sort of pale glow.

Most of the leaves were pale green, but some were golden, and when the wind shifted them they glinted in the sun the same way the silver bark did, as if there were lights hidden amongst the leaves. In an odd sort of way she rather thought she was witnessing these colors for the first time, such was the beauty of the so-called Golden Wood.

"In a few weeks the leaves will turn all golden," said Radagast, gazing at the forest too. "And they will stay so all throughout winter, falling only in the spring. Then green leaves will sprout again, but not before the forest is carpeted and roofed in gold, and the grey bark in golden flowers. Now come, there is a bridge that will take us across the water."

Over his shoulder Lily looked up and down the river in confusion, for she could see no bridge at all. "Are you sure —?"

"The Elves have cleverly disguised it," said Radagast, getting off the elk and walking over to the cliff which directly overlooked the river. Lily followed, but no matter how closely she looked, she could not see anything. Not even some thin piece of rope that the likes of Radagast would have called a bridge.

"Do they have magic?" said Lily.

"Magic?" said Radagast. "Yes, I suppose it is in its way a spell of concealment, though the Elves would not call it so. For it is not magic to them, but just their way of doing things."

Lily frowned. "What does that mean? I've done magic for half my life but I still view it as magic."

"Ah, but you are young and the Elves are old." Radagast looked up in thought. "Such things to them are as... as crafting fires are to animals. It is mundane and methodical to us, but our elk here would view it as magic, for how else could one strike wood and create blistering heat capable of death and destruction yet life and healing?"

"But that comes only from the elk's incapability to understand such things," said Lily.

"Could Men understand all of your magic? For not even I do, and I am a wizard."

No, they couldn't. They might be able to learn much of the magical theory behind many spells, but some things were still beyond their reach no matter how hard they tried. Sensing magic, for example, or Muggle-Repelling Charms; they would twist a non-magical person's mind in a way that they would not even notice. They'd be simply incapable of conceiving the truth of the matter.

"I suppose not," she said eventually. "So where's this bridge?"

Radagast lifted his staff. "We shall see. Cennada i iant an i elvellyn eb-dhir!"

And he brought the staff down on the ground hard. Some kind of magic was clearly unleashed. Lily felt it. But nothing revealed itself. Radagast himself seemed confused, and he took a step forward to look down below into the river before he gave a soft cry. Lily peeked over the edge of the cliff too, and she could see among both banks of the river the remnants of a bridge.

"It is broken," said Radagast, as if she were blind. "This is most worrying. Not many could so easily find this bridge, much less break it."

"The Witch-Queen..."

"Yes, likely," said Radagast grimly. "And if it was not her, then she was the reason for it. Though surely the Elves would have known the river would not stop her. I don't believe it would even hinder her. Unsurprised would I be if she simply leapt over it."

"Well, I can't jump over the river," said Lily, "but I think I can get us across."

Great curiosity sparked in Radagast's eyes. "Indeed. I would be most interested to see you perform more of your magic, fruitful as it is. What will you do?"

Lily wasn't sure. "I could maybe slowly freeze the river if the current wasn't as strong as it is."

"Then we will have to simply calm the river, won't we?" said Radagast, already moving to make his way down to the river-bank. When they were there, he stood holding his staff close and began muttering words of an unknown language. "Sîdh am sin nîn," he repeated, or something of the like.

And slowly, to Lily's surprise, the waters began to calm. The current hadn't been fierce before, but still strong enough that she feared it would disrupt any wandless Freezing Spell she attempted. But now the water was slowing, and in time it barely moved. She was actually impressed.

"Do it swiftly," said Radagast, his tone suggesting he'd have to stay focused to keep the river as it was.

Lily plunged her hands into the water, and had to stop herself from recoiling. The cold was already biting. It would make it easier for her, she hoped. First she cast the Freezing Charm (not to be confused with the Freezing Spell, which would turn things to ice while the Charm would immobilize targets). In doing so, the water near her became completely still.

In the reflection of the water she saw herself. Her green eyes, thankfully unchanged, and her black hair, once a coppery-red, an orange slightly darker than the Weasleys'. Everybody had always told her she looked just like her mother, except perhaps her cheekbones, which were more prominent like her father's. Sirius had once joked it was the only good feature James had, and that she had the best of both worlds.

No longer wanting to look or think about those times, Lily cast the Freezing Spell.

Ice formed immediately around her arms, spreading quickly for a few meters in front of her. She repeated the spell. "Glacius. Glacius. Glacius." In the end the spell would reach no farther than about a third of the width of the river. And what was worse, her hands were stuck in the ice.

Radagast saw her struggle and laughed. "Didn't quite think that through, did you?"

Lily glared at him, then at the ice. "Reducto!"

The ice broke apart. Too well. Cracks appeared throughout the entirety of the ice she had made, and the blocks began separating. She cursed and refroze it all, and then magically heated her hands until she was able to slip them out. Magic was rather irritating when she didn't have a wand.

"Not even half of it is yet frozen!" said Radagast.

"Yeah, yeah," said Lily, getting up and taking a careful step onto the ice. It held her, and she rushed to its edge, nearly slipping into the water. Throwing her arms into the cold river again, she repeated her actions, and then again and again until the entire width of this part of the river was frozen.

"Very well done," said Radagast, walking slowly over while examining the ice. His elk followed him not too far behind. "Now we do not need to wet and chill ourselves!"

"To Lothlórien, then?" said Lily.

"Now to Lothlórien." Radagast got back onto the elk and helped her up again. "We will be at the edge in a few hours."

"Finally."

"You weary already of the journey?" said Radagast. "But it is not quite so lengthy. It will take three times as long for me to reach my home, Rhosgobel."

Lily grumbled under her breath.

"Cheer up, Lily!" he said. "We near Lothlórien, and there we will see about the battle of the Witch-Queen and her dark fortress, and mayhaps more answers will be revealed to you."

But Lothlórien only gave new questions to both her and Radagast, for when they reached it at last they found it was wholly barred to them, and that there were no Elves to answer Radagast's calls from where they remained outside its borders.

"Fair Elves of Lothlórien!" he called. "It is I, Radagast the Brown, with a companion by the name of Calla Lily! Lily the Green as might be fitting! For her eyes are greener than the fair leaves of your trees, and she may be another of the Istari. We wish to speak with the Lady of the Golden Wood!"

There was no answer. And when Radagast tried to walk the elk into the forest, the elk was unable to do so. Indeed, both she and Radagast could not find it within themselves to step into the trees even on their own feet. It was as though some other will was set against them.

"That is likely exactly what it is," said Radagast when Lily told him this.

"I don't like this," she said. Was this what muggles felt when they came across a Muggle-Repelling Charm? Her body simply refused to walk into the forest.

"Nor do I. I have never been an enemy of the Lady of Lothlórien." He looked deeply troubled. "What reason does she have to hinder me so? What have I done, O Lady of Lórien, to anger you such?"

"Maybe it's me," said Lily. "She knows you, but she doesn't know me."

"But I know you," said Radagast, frustrated, "and that ought to be enough!" He yelled this at the trees, but still there was no response. "Alas, dark is the day where Lothlórien is so cold to outsiders. Something evil must have befallen the White Council in Dol Guldur."

"You think Galadriel is scared?" said Lily. "Isn't she meant to be thousands of years old?" Though she didn't really believe such a thing.

"Even if so, she has not spent all those years in battle nor learning. Mistake me not, she is still of great power, but the Witch-Queen may be powerful beyond even her. If the White Council has lost the battle, then Lady Galadriel would have retreated here, yes, and she would have disallowed access to any."

"Even you?"

Radagast sighed. "Yes. And I cannot say I blame her. The Witch-Queen has many abilities. From rising the dead to controlling the living, it is understandable that not even I should be trusted any longer. For perhaps I have been bewitched. Would I even know?"

Lily looked from him to the forest and back again. "What now, then?"

"We could travel farther south to Saruman the White, and hope he is in Isengard. But the winter there is strong, and Saruman does not like to be disturbed often. I may take us to Rhosgobel, and then through Mirkwood to the other side."

"What?" said Lily, alarmed. "Why would we do that?"

"Because we may find Gandalf there," said Radagast. "He had said he wished to check upon those who lived on the other side of Mirkwood, such as those in Esgaroth, and the Iron Hills, and the Elvenking's Halls. And maybe see about the dragon that has taken a home in the Lonely Mountain recently..."

"A dragon?" said Lily, thinking of dragon heartstrings and a new wand.

"Yes, a dragon. Gandalf would not mind the extra help, I think. Though your path is your own, my friend. You may leave me now if you wish, and I will let you take this elk even, if he should let you. Though I would greatly prefer your company."

Lily probably didn't have the skill to create a wand, not yet, but she had learned a little of wandlore from her gathering of information for the Elder Wand, and also from Ollivander. A wand with a dragon heartstring core wouldn't work best with her, but it had to be better than nothing.

"I'd like to stay with you," she said to Radagast.

"Then let us go," he said, mounting the elk again and holding out his hand for her. She took it and pulled herself up, and they turned to go. Radagast turned his head and looked to the trees once more, their leaves vivid in the sunlight and swaying in the breeze.

But Lothlórien was silent.