XXIV

It was the First of September, Sirius thought, though he wasn't sure. Every now and then, he'd find old newspapers, though he could never be certain if they were from the day when he found them, or the day before. Sometimes he overheard muggles talking and mentioning the date… But still, he wasn't completely certain.

Time was a useless construct to him. Every day he was on the road, every day he walked from morning to night, every day he would fish his food out of some garbage or catch a rat. Sometimes he would steal a chicken from a farm. (Though not too many. Sirius didn't want to kickstart a hunt for the chicken thief.) He never turned into his human form when he didn't need to. He never paused in any of the towns and villages to gather information if he didn't need to.

So ultimately, it was of little consequence to him, if it was still August or already September if it was Monday or already Thursday. The days turned one into the other, as he slowly made his way north.

One paw in front of the other. A well-known, exhausting routine on endless repeat. One step at a time… Sirius didn't think about the goal anymore, just about the next step. He hadn't even reached York, yet. Scotland and Hogwarts seemed so far away.

Part of him feared, he would never reach it.

Part of him feared, he would never find it.

So, he kept focusing on the next step. On one paw in front of the other.

The soles under his feet were burning. His whole body aching. He was tired. At times, he couldn't see straight, and he didn't know if it was hunger or exhaustion. But he kept going.

One step at a time.

It was the only mantra that drove him forward.

If he didn't make it to Hogwarts, what even was the point of escaping Azkaban. He knew he had nothing else… Nothing else to lose, nothing else to do, nothing else to wait for. In Hogwarts, he would kill Peter. And then…?

On the First of September, the students would return to Hogwarts. Harry Potter in their midst…and the traitorous rat. Sirius was certain…If he was wrong…if Peter wasn't there…

What would've been the point?

For Sirius, this was a trip with no alternative and no way back. Turning back, all that awaited him would be the dementor's kiss. A fate worse than death.

And in front of him, was the murder he had to commit. His first…And then—

He didn't know. And he stopped his spiraling thoughts at that moment because there was no 'then'. In his mind, there was no 'afterward'. How had Kakashi called it? Sirius had a mission. The mission was all he had. And after that, there was nothing waiting for him.

He knew that, so he refused to think about it. About a theoretical afterward that still seemed so far away—More than 300 miles and a dead rat away.

One step at a time.

He felt his body's weakness drain him, tire him. His paws stumbled over the grovel. There was blood between his claws from where he had carelessly scraped his skin against the rough ground, too tired to lift his legs. The ache was already numbing his entire body.

He lost consciousness in a ditch long before the night fell upon him.

Kakashi woke up to the horrific memory of Obito's crushed body stuck under the bolder. He woke up with the unsettling feeling of being in strange territory, surrounded by enemies.

Breathing calmly, he didn't move a muscle, assessing his situation. His memories only slowly sorted themselves. Not enemy territory, but a train full of children traveling to Hogwarts. Obito's death was over a year in the past.

He vividly remembered the wraith-like creature. He must have lost consciousness after they left.

He stretched his body a little, opening his eyes and sitting straight up. "How long was I—" He started to ask, but at that moment, the cabin door slid open. Neville stood there with a flushed red face.

"You're alright!" He sounded relieved. "That was scary. I made it back as fast as I could."

"How long?" Kakashi asked looking at the girls.

Mary looked at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

They hadn't noticed. Kakashi looked from her to her friend, but neither seemed to know what he meant. They hadn't seen him fall unconscious. Had it only been a few short minutes?

"I wasn't gone long," Neville said, thinking the question was meant for him. "Maybe fifteen minutes. Why? Is something—"

At that moment the Hogwarts Expressed lurched and set into motion again. Distractedly, Kakashi looked out of the window. The fog was gone. It was already late evening and the sun had started to set.

"What was that?" He turned to Neville. "These creatures. Did you find somebody who could tell you?"

Neville slumped heavily on the bench. "Uh-huh," he nodded paling a little. "Yes, I met…Apparently, Harry, Ron, and Hermione share a compartment with a teacher, he…uh, when the Dementors came, he woke up and stopped it from…" he shrugged. "I mean I don't know what it was doing really. I felt really bad, but then Harry passed out."

"Harry passed out?" Kakashi repeated. The way Kakashi had? It clearly hadn't only affected him.

"He was still out of it, when I left," Neville admitted. "I don't know why. I mean, I didn't like it either, but I didn't pass out. Normally Harry's much braver than me…" He shook his head.

Kakashi considered this bit of information. What was it about Harry that the Dementors affected him more than Neville? Especially, if Neville was right, and Harry was the braver of the two and would normally deal better with stressful situations. And why had it affected Kakashi similarly to Harry?

Of course, Kakashi could make his own assumptions. He was in tune with reality enough, to know that the voices had only been in his head. He had seen and heard distinct memories from his past. Some of the most horrific events of his life crashing down on him. He knew that hadn't been real. The wraith had dragged the memories out of his mind and made him re-experience his trauma. Was this it then? Creatures that could make you relive the worst times of your life?

Harry was an orphan. That would explain, why he had been affected more than others if the creatures had turned that against him. It was Kakashi's best guess.

"What happened?" Neville asked after taking in a deep shaky breath. When Kakashi didn't answer immediately, he indicated Kakashi's cheek. "These scratches. You didn't have them earlier."

"The thing," it was Mary who answered. "When it came in, Charlie tried to jump it, but it caught him in the neck and then hit him in the face." She didn't look at Kakashi as she spoke, instead she hunched into the protective warmth of her robes. "I was scared."

"A dementor attacked you?" Neville stared at him with big and round eyes. "Does it hurt? You should get that treated. Maybe I can go bring that teacher from Harry's compartment. He can help."

Kakashi waved him off. These scratches were no problem and would heal just fine. He barely even felt them. No point in making a mountain out of a molehill. "It will heal," he said. "What were these things?" Neville had used a word for them. He remembered hearing the same mentioned in the ministry. "Dementors? What did they want?"

Neville grimaced. "The professor said they were looking for Black." He huffed. "As if he'd be hiding in here…"

Kakashi felt a lump in his throat. He tried to clear it with a cough. "Black," he choked, dreading what he was about to find out. "Why would they be looking for Black?"

Neville frowned at him, then his worried expression cleared. "Oh, of course, you wouldn't know. I'm sorry. Dementors are the Azkaban guards."

Kakashi felt like choking. The Azkaban guards. He had wondered about them since everybody had only mentioned them with pale, fearful faces and quiet voices. Naturally, he had assumed them to be humans – maybe sadistic torturers – but still human. There had been nothing human about these creatures. They seemed dead, dreadful, barely even corporal. He had felt almost helpless against the creature in a way he hadn't felt for years.

The dementor hadn't been incredibly strong, yet still, Kakashi didn't know how to fight it. It didn't seem to care about its own injury when Kakashi cut it and in the meantime, it had tortured Kakashi with his worst memories…

And Sirius, if he remembered correctly, hadn't he just lost his best friends before first being thrown into that wretched prison? Surrounded by these torturous, dreadful creatures. Kakashi wouldn't want to spend a whole day in their presence…never mind twelve years.

He felt incredibly childish, as he heard himself repeating Neville's words, in a desperate hope that it wasn't true after all, and just a joke. "They are guarding Azkaban? The prison?" He shook his head. He felt sick, just imagining it.

Neville nodded. "Yes. I don't know much about them. My grandmother always said that they're the most wretched creatures to guard the most wretched people. It's thanks to them that there wasn't a single Azkaban break out since…well, until this summer."

Kakashi stared at Neville, then he turned his head to look outside. The Hogwarts Express was moving north again, towards Hogwarts. Outside the day was steadily becoming night.

He knew now…That was the torture of this prison. When he first arrived here, it had seemed like a Utopia, and in a way, it still was, as the country was at peace…But behind that glamorous façade, there was an ugly truth… Increasingly, he had felt as if nothing in this world could harm him, though he had to find ways to navigate around his lack of magical talent. Now, however, he knew. There was darkness here.

Kakashi was certain he wouldn't survive the Dementors for any extended period. He had only faced one of them and only for a short while. Yet, he knew already, that he would not survive a year, never mind twelve, with these Dementors. Even without them, it was hard enough surviving in his own head.

"We should arrive soon," Neville said eventually.

Sirius woke to a painfully sharp poking into his side. Growling and still half asleep, he hid his snout under his paws. A sharp intake of air made him jump to his feet, now wide awake.

"It's alive!" a boy's voice screeched.

Kakashi? Sirius thought automatically, though the boy sounded nothing like Kakashi. The voice was a lot younger.

The first thing Sirius could see in the dimming light of the evening was a head of tightly curled red hair. Freckles. The boy was gracelessly sitting on his bum. In his left hand, he held the stick with which he had poked into Sirius' side. Sirius still felt the ache in his ribs.

"You're alive!" The boy grinned, scrambling to his knees and into a crouching position next to Sirius. Tentatively he reached out with his fingers to awkwardly pat Sirius' head.

Not knowing what to do, Sirius stood. He enjoyed the human contact, but the rudeness of his awakening was still lingering. He was also still tired. The bone-deep exhaustion was still there. He couldn't have slept for long. Dirt crusted in his fur. He had lain just at the side of the road.

"Tammy, Tammy!" The boy yelled over his shoulder. "He's alive! I told you he's alive. You said it looked dead!"

As he looked over the boy's shoulder, he noted that he wasn't far from a small house. A girl poked her head over the garden fence, then she pushed the gate open and ran to the boy. She wasn't much older than the boy. He was maybe 9, Sirius guessed. She looked like 11. Just barely reaching Hogwarts-age.

"Mom said, you should stay away!" the girl warned. "Who knows? It might be sick." She had the same curly red hair as her brother but far fewer freckles.

"He's hungry!" The boy exclaimed, still awkwardly patting Sirius. "You're hungry, right boy?"

Sirius barked in agreement. If the kids were willing to feed him, he wouldn't complain. He hadn't resorted to begging for scraps yet. Not because it was beneath him, but because he avoided people. With those two kids already there, he wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Yes," the girl agreed with a worried frown on her face. "It looks hungry…" She now stood just a step away from Sirius, but unlike her brother, she didn't reach out for him. Watching him suspiciously as if thinking he might transmit a sickness, she had her arms folded in front of her. Then she sighed. "I'll go get something!"

And with that, she ran back to the house. Happily, Sirius barked after her.

"Yeah, you're hungry," the boy chuckled. "Good boy!"

But as the girl came back, a bag of something in her hand, there was a woman following hot on her heels. She suddenly and quite rudely grabbed her daughter's shoulder and pulled her back into the garden. Then she came rushing at Sirius and the boy with a broom in her hand.

"Kevin, get away from that mutt!" she ordered waving with the broom. "Shoo, shoo!"

"Mom, stop!" The girl cried out, running after her mother.

The boy jumped from shock, staring at his mom. "Mummy, he's a good boy!" he tried to explain.

The woman listened to neither of her kids. "What did I tell you about wild animals and mongrels, Kevin? It could bite you. Get away from it!" She basically threw her broom at Sirius, who jumped out of the way.

Sirius barked loudly at the woman, feeling grief over the missed meal.

"Shoo!" Again, she waved at him with the end of her broomstick. This time, she hit him against the snout. She looked almost apologetic as he ducked his head with a painful whine as if she hadn't tried to hit him.

"Stop it, Mummy!" the boy cried.

Barking one final time, Sirius fled without further hesitation.

Kakashi had a strong urge to turn around. First, he thought it was his instincts warning him of any sort of danger, but as he stepped out of the train, he couldn't detect any danger. None of the students around him seemed to sense anything either. Wearily, he pushed it to the back of his mind, deciding to stay alert if anything happened.

It was pouring icy rain on Kakashi. Annoyed, he pulled up the collar of his robes. The school uniform was made of heavy cotton and wool that soaked wet so quickly, that the robe soon weighed double its original weight. Several of the kids around him complained about the weather.

"First years this way!" a booming voice called out over their heads. As Kakashi turned there was a big man, towering over the crowd of students, taller than any adult Kakashi knew. He was double Kakashi's size, but as he smiled at the comparatively tiny first years that were quickly assembling around him with big and curious eyes, his lips spread into a kind smile. Rain was glistening on pinkish cheeks.

"That's Hagrid," Neville whispered to him, "the gamekeeper." His eyes were following the two girls who quickly ran to Hagrid.

Kakashi remembered that name. Harry had mentioned it before. The man who had first told him about the wizarding world. Before Kakashi could ask anything else about him – for example why he was so huge – Neville steered him in a different direction.

They followed the big crowd of students from the station platform to a few carriages. Kakashi's feet made squishy noises every time he pulled the soles out of the mud.

As Kakashi raised his head to look for the horses, he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Uh…" Neville stood next to him, wringing his hands nervously as if waiting for Kakashi to say something. "What is it?"

"What are those?" Kakashi asked with big round eyes.

There in front of the carriages were creatures the like Kakashi had never seen before. He had by now seen his fair share of magical creatures and races – A few of these oddities were sold in the shops in Diagon Alley, and he had read about some of them in his Care for Magical Creatures book, and of course, there were even magical humanoid beings like the goblins of Gringotts. But these horses…They were the most unique creatures he had seen yet.

They had skeletal bodies with almost translucent skin, reminding him uncomfortably of the Dementors. If he'd been told, those were the wraiths' mounts, he would have easily believed it, but that was where the similarities ended. Their heads looked reptilian-like that of a dragon. Then one of them chomped at the bit, shook its head, and spread a set of wide bat-like wings.

Was it dangerous? For a moment he considered if that was why he felt that strong urge to flee, but as he continued scrutinizing the winged horses, he felt no danger from them.

"You can see them?" Neville whispered with big eyes. He was a little pale around the nose, as he was clearly trying to avoid looking at the horses.

Kakashi glanced at him. "Of course, I can see them." His brows furrowed suspiciously. "You can't?"

"No, I can see them too," Neville started, "but—"

"Charlie!"

Kakashi was pushed half a step forward, when Ron shoved into him from behind, putting a hand around his shoulders. "Is it true you fought the Dementor?" he asked leaning on Kakashi.

"News spread quickly I see," Kakashi grumbled looking one last time at Neville but the boy was clearly not going to talk now. Then he turned to the redhead. "Who told you?"

"Two first years," Ron waved behind himself towards the station. "That cut looks nasty. You should have that checked out."

Kakashi didn't see what the fuzz was about. It barely even bled. It was long, reaching from his ear almost to his chin, but it was just a scratch.

"That was pretty cool," Ron grinned. "Harry said, you're a Hufflepuff, but they should've put you into Gryffindor."

"How did you do it?" Harry stood behind Ron, Hermione at his side. He looked ruffled and pale. His hands were in his pockets and he was slouching. It was supposedly meant to look casual, but it was clear that the Dementors had left Harry a bit frazzled. "How did you fight them?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I tried to stab one of them, but I can't recommend that. It didn't do anything." He tried not to remember the helpless feeling of his knife cutting through wispy cloth and dead skin, while screams of the past terrorized his mind. He shook his head. "Neville said you had a teacher protecting you. How did he do it?"

Harry shrugged, embarrassedly avoiding Kakashi's gaze. Right, he'd fallen unconscious, and likely not seen it. Kakashi glanced at Hermione, who was already preparing to answer.

"He used a spell called Expecto Patronum." Her brows furrowed skeptically. "But I've never heard of it. It must be very advanced. He produced a sort of silver haze that repelled the dementor." She shuddered as she called the creature by name.

Kakashi nodded, even though her explanation didn't really help him.

"Should we get on?" Ron asked, apparently getting impatient. He opened the door to the closest carriage. At least it had a roof that would protect them from the rain. "Come on, I'm hungry, and I don't want to miss the sorting ceremony again."

"We're not going to miss the sorting ceremony," Hermione argued, as she climbed into the carriage. "And you just care for the food anyway."

"So, what about the horses?" Kakashi turned back to Neville following after him into the carriage.

"What horses?" Harry asked, who followed after Kakashi.

Ron who came in last demonstratively turned toward the horses. "There are no horses," he said with certainty, looking right at them, then he pulled the door shut.

Kakashi looked at him in confusion. As he glanced at Neville, the boy shrugged.

"I'm the only one who can see them. I thought I just imagined it…"

Kakashi didn't ask again. Evidently, Neville couldn't answer his many unspoken questions. As the stagecoach started moving, Kakashi scooted a bit to the side, so Ron could sit next to him. The boy didn't have his rat with him. He still smelled a bit of it, but the scent wasn't very strong, and the rain had mostly washed it away. Hermione didn't have her tomcat either.

"Where is your cat?" he asked the girl.

"Ahm…" she looked a little embarrassed. "I don't actually know. But the staff is taking care of it. They bring the pets right to the dorms. Can't bring them to the feast, after all."

The rat would be in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory then. If they weren't supposed to bring their pets to the Great Hall or to class, the rat would likely spend most of its time in the Gryffindor tower. Kakashi had read a bit about the castle. That made his task a bit more complicated. He was a Hufflepuff after all, and from what he had read, pupils weren't allowed into the dormitories and common rooms of the other houses.

His thoughts ground to a sudden halt, as he felt a familiar cold. Leaning over Ron, he looked out of the window. It was dark by now, and he couldn't see much outside.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked annoyed, pushing him away though he wasn't rude about it.

"It's getting colder again," Kakashi replied.

Ron scowled. "What do you mean? Then stay away from the door. There's a draft."

"He means the Dementors, Ron," Hermione explained to her friend, "but I don't feel anything."

Harry had visibly paled at the mention of the wraiths. He leaned into his seat, refusing to look out of the window. He wouldn't have seen anything anyway. Ron was now pressing his nose against it, making it impossible to see past his ginger head.

"You're right," Ron finally announced. "There! They are patrolling at the gate."

Kakashi heard whispers in his head again. He heard Rin's screams, and Obito's final words and the villagers insulting his father. The voices were oddly muffled, though. He could barely make sense of the words. Barely recognized the voices. It was different from before. In the train, he had heard the words crystal clear, now it was more like an afterthought.

He pulled Ron back by his shoulder. The boy complained with a groan but didn't struggle against Kakashi.

There they were. As Ron had said. Two Dementors floated on both sides of the gate they were about to enter through. They didn't seem to care for the carriages rolling past them. Kakashi felt a little sick as he watched them.

Azkaban's guards…patrolling the school grounds. He had known of course. The ministry expected Sirius to hunt for Harry. They were expecting him here, so of course, they had prepared… It still hadn't quite clicked in Kakashi until now. These wretched creatures would be patrolling the school grounds. He felt suddenly faint at the idea, that he'd have to tolerate them so close for more than just a few days. They would likely stay until they had caught the escaped convict…And Sirius was running right into them. Only that he wouldn't be protected by castle walls. Did he even stand a chance?

Distracted by his own thoughts, there was something else he noticed only a while later. The gates… Ron had called them that, but they were hardly deserving of the name. It was barely more than a hole in an old and ruined wall, half fenced off. Big yellow and orange signs stood crookedly around the road warning of danger and risk of collapse. A big red round sign said stop in bold letters.

What was going on? But as he turned around, none of the other teenagers noticed anything. Or at least they didn't react to the signs.

Kakashi had enough experience that he noticed a genjutsu, even if it wasn't created by chakra. This was an illusion, nonetheless. He just knew it. As his gaze traveled up the path further ahead past the Dementors and the other carriages in front of them, he could barely make out the castle against the dark and cloudy sky and the heavy rain.

He had read about Hogwarts…He had even seen images in his books, but what he now saw before him wasn't the magnificent castle he had expected. It was a ruin. Old stone walls and collapsed towers, nature already taking over the premises and the building.

His short burst of chakra to dispel the genjutsu didn't work. So, he closed his right eye and opened the Sharingan. Obito's eye could see through illusions. As he looked at the ruin again, it didn't quite work. What he saw was still the same ruin. His Sharingan wasn't able to recognize magical illusions, but the eye was already used to detecting the odd transient energy that he had started to associate with magic. And so, behind the image of the ruin, he could clearly see the shape of the castle outlined in magical energy. It was buzzing with magic. So much so, it was almost blinding to the Sharingan.

It had to be a ward or a barrier, he realized. Something to keep muggles away. His strong urge to turn around likely resulted from the same, as he hadn't found anything else that might have set his instincts off.

Lost in his own calculating thoughts, Kakashi almost missed as they left the gate and the Dementors behind. Kakashi only push away from the window and settled back into his seat, when the Dementors were already so far away, that Harry breathed a sigh of relief.