ALRIGHT. I'm gonna try my best to actually get some questions in for this chapter xD (I was updating these things fast, wth, me?)
Dib sat waiting patiently at the lunch table as Zim got his plate of food that he never ate. 'Why does he bother?' Dib wondered. He saved the question as a possibility to ask later on. When Zim sat down, he eyed the laptop Dib had set up on the table with a questioning glance.
"Why does the Dib-stink have a computer device at lunch?" Zim asked, starting to mess with the food as usual. Dib took a bite of his apple.
"So I don't have to remember everything said when I ask you questions. This is so I can just type it out on the spot."
"It won't work."
"Why not?"
"You can't type as fast as you talk, I know this already. It is simpler if you record the conversation, and then type it out at a later time," Zim explained, as if Dib should've already known the fact. Dib sighed and shut the laptop, slipping it back into his back pack and taking out the recorder.
"You know a lot of the students haven't stopped looking at you since you punched Chunk?" Dib asked. Zim took a quick sweep of the cafeteria and saw nearly half the room's heads turn sharply around to try and not get caught.
"I am aware. I can hear them as well," Zim confessed.
"Really? I can't hear what they're saying. Just the normal talking in this loud place," Dib said. Zim looked up at him as if he was an idiot. "Right. Your hearing. What are they saying?"
"Hold on. … 'He could've killed him', 'How do you know he didn't', 'He was weird before, but now he's even scarier'. Hmm, I rather like that comment. I put fear into them now."
"That's not necessarily a good thing, Zim."
".. They are also acknowledging that we 'are friends now since you are sitting with me and we aren't trying to beat each other to a bloody pulp'," Zim recited.
"Who said that?" Dib asked, setting up the specifics for his recorder.
"Farthest table to the right," Zim said. Dib looked from the corner of his eye. Zim clarified for him. "The cheerleaders, I believe. One just switched the conversation to their practice."
"You can hear them all the way over there?!" Dib asked. Zim nodded nonchalantly as if it was nothing special. Dib sighed, it may have not been anything special to the Irken, but it was definitely something special to him.
"So, can I ask more questions, or are you sick of it yet?" he asked, hoping it wouldn't end up the latter.
"Ask away, human, they are starting to entertain me now," Zim admitted. He pushed away the food and rested his head in his palms. Dib smiled and put the recorder in the side of his jack, positioned so that it would pick up the conversation, but not be too noticeable.
"Great! Well, I did have other questions, but for now I'm more interested in how you had always put up with the bullies before I asked you fight back."
"Zim's patience is slim, but the importance of keeping my identity a secret helped the tolerance. Although Zim admits he has planned numerous ways of killing and disposing of the cretins," Zim said. Dib pursed his lips and looked to the side for a moment.
"Oh. Well, I'm sure your way of dealing with them is not only more possible than my ways, but a lot deadlier," Dib stated. Zim smirked, giving Dib his answer without having to say a word. "Uh huh."
"Zim suggests you begin to ask another question before the thought of them angers him again," Zim said. Dib straightened his back.
"Okay, then. Those teeth of yours. If Irkens don't eat because of your PAKS, then why do you still have those… zipper teeth? I assume they're sharp?"
"Yes, they are quite sharp," Zim said proudly. "Irkens used to be carnivorous, before our PAKs enabled us to survive without food. We have yet to evolve without growing the teeth; of course they still hold a purpose. They are very useful in battle."
"Uh-huh. Well what about your tongue? I noticed it's serpentine, but also segmented."
"Zim does not care for why it is segmented, so I won't bother looking that bit of information up," he said. Dib's shoulders sagged. "Although, as you said before we Irkens apparently resemble reptiles to your eyes. I suppose the tongue is another factor of those genes. If Irkens did not possess this unique tongue, we could not speak our language effectively."
"What does Irken sound like, anyway?" Dib asked. "I never bothered to listen that much when you, I assume, swore at me."
"Heheh, Dib-stink is smart," Zim said. Before Dib could object to the insult and purposeful bad grammar Zim continued by speaking what Dib could only assume was several sentences in Irken. Dib sat dumbfounded at the nonsense that was so foreign to his ears. All he was clearly able to pick up were some sounds, and that most of them seemed similar to S's and T's and perhaps a C stuck in there somewhere. …And their names.
"What?" he asked, suspecting it had been a long insult.
"I simply stated that 'Irken is hard to learn for other species, and that you, Dib-stink would not be able to speak it if you tried. Even if you happened to get me to try and teach it to you, Zim would not very much like it for I do not feel like hearing my native tongue SLAUGHTERED by your incompetence'. That is what I said."
"I knew it was some form of an insult when I heard my name," Dib complained. "Well, I'll just have to prove you wrong one day."
Zim scoffed at the notion. "Zim would actually enjoy the numerous failures you are bound to endure in that little endeavor of yours."
Dib glared at him for a moment before deciding to continue on to the next question he had. "Whatever, you'll teach me eventually. So, do Irkens at least know what a kiss is?"
"That term is not in our vocabulary, we perhaps call it something else. Describe it," Zim demanded. Dib sighed.
"Well.. it's a show of affection-" the bell to end lunch cut Dib off and he looked as everyone started to leave. "I'll tell you later, want to come to my house after school this time? Gaz has a club meeting after school for that video game she's obsessed with, so we'd at least get an hour or two of peace."
"Gir would annoy us most of the time, so yes," Zim said, getting up to leave.
~(*)~
"Finally here," Dib stated, letting his bag drop by the door and making his way to his room. "I think this is the first time you've been here and NOT snuck in."
"You are correct," Zim said. When they had reached Dib's room Zim stood by the bed as Dib fell onto it.
"I still ache from Chunk's beating," he mumbled. Zim looked to the side, waiting. "Oh, right. Well, anyway, a kiss is a show of affection humans use to… well.. show affection. To show we like the other."
"What is the point of that, can you not just say your feelings?" Zim asked, confused.
"It's more complicated than that," Dib stated. "Saying it isn't enough for us. Humans like to physically show that we like one another. That's another reason we have.. natural reproduction, I guess."
"What does this… kiss, look like?" Zim asked. Dib gave him a look.
"I'm not showing you!"
"It is a simple enough question, Dib-stink. Zim does not show affection, he merely does not know what this.. kiss is."
"It's basically two people putting their lips together. It can be for a moment, or for a while. Lip moving is optional if you want to show a lot more affection than usual. I explained it to you, but there is no way I'm actually gonna show you."
"Zim understands enough, Dib-stink. Irkens do not do this action. There is no need since we are forbidden to show any affection toward one another."
"Then why did I have to explain it to you?!"
"Zim saw that it made the Dib-stink uncomfortable," Zim said, smirking.
"You're an ass," Dib whispered.
"Whispering does no good, Earth-monkey," Zim stated, taking his wig off and shutting the door. Dib watched him take the contacts out as well and saw mechanical arms take them and store the disguise in his PAK. He sat at the end of Dib's bed, shoving his legs behind him.
Like I said, just ZADF. Sorry to any ZADR fans reading this and getting THAT thrown at them xD I just figured Zim would ask something like that since I assume Irkens never kiss either, haha. Gonna leave it off like that, it was getting long. but don't worry, I'll continue it where it left off.