Unto the Universe

Chapter Thirty-Four: The Fires of Karn: Old Memory

By Lumendea

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any spinoff material, and I gain no income from this story, just the satisfaction of playing with the characters.

AN: So now you know my explanation for the Time Lords existing in only one aspect of reality, can regenerate and why the Guardians didn't step in during the Time War. Obviously, it differs from the new Timeless Child history, but this is what I've been working towards for years. I hope you like it despite the strong turn we've taken from the show.

….

Ohila sat beside the Doctor on a set of rocks, folding the long sleeves of her red robe on her lap. She watched him with a soft, knowing smile that made him want to lash out. The Sisterhood of Karn had always bothered him. They bothered all of Gallifrey. They were the same basic species, but they had left long, long ago and followed a spiritual and mystical path rather than living in the structure created by Rassilon, Omega and the Other. As a rebel himself, he should have liked them, but he didn't. Never had, and they didn't like him either.

"What now?" the Doctor asked. His eyes were fixed on Rose with the Guardians. His itch to grab her and run was stronger than ever, but she didn't seem at all distressed.

"I suppose you need some explanations."

"That would be helpful."

"How much do you remember from the days before the Time Lords?"

He did not like the way Ohila phrased that question or how she was looking at him. "Rassilon overthrew the Pythia. That's where Time Lord history starts. Before that, we were time-sensitive thanks to the Untempered Schism being connected to Gallifrey. One of the oldest species in the universe."

"You're quoting books," Ohila scoffed. "That's not what I asked you. I asked what you remembered?"

"I wasn't alive-"

"Don't you dare lie," Ohila hissed. "Not today, not here and now." She gestured at the now vibrant and living planet around them. "Not the day that ancient truths are told."

"Why does it look so much like Gallifrey?" the Doctor asked, grabbing ahold of the distraction.

"Karn was created by the first Gold Guardian for the Sisterhood. All of the fauna and flora of Gallifrey were replicated here by her will. Rassilon later bombed the planet, leaving it what you saw before in his efforts to destroy us before recognizing that the Sacred Flame could be of use to Gallifrey. Remains and imprints of those creatures and plants were still here," Ohila explained, a hint of a smile in her voice. "But you still have a question to answer, Doctor."

"I don't remember much," the Doctor sighed. He didn't look at her, instead, he focused on watching some leaves sway in the breeze.

"You mean you've repressed most of it," Ohila groaned. "Again. Honestly, your seventh self, from what I've heard, wasn't your most pleasant, but at least you weren't deluding yourself in that incarnation, weren't running from yourself."

The Doctor didn't know how to respond to that. Ohila was wrong about that. Even his seventh self had been running; he'd just been trying to stack the deck while he did it. They'd always been aware that someday it would catch up to them. What that day would look like, they hadn't known, and his seventh self had wanted options. Escape routes and defences to buy them more time to run. Running was what he did. Running around the universe, trying to help keep the tattered and battered miracle that it was together. Running from the pain and problems and leaving them to his next self to try to sort through if he dared. Not that he ever did.

"I knew you when we were young," Ohila reminded him. "Before your name was locked away. And that was done just before you entered the Academy. What other reason would a child have to lock away their name and take up a nickname like Theta Sigma but that the name was dangerous?" Her voice was almost soft. "You knew even then. And I'm sorry. That must have made for a frightening and lonely childhood."

Those words, from someone who had known that scared and lonely boy hit harder than most. This was why Ohila was so dangerous; she knew too much and had the power of the Sisterhood behind her. The Doctor tried to pull his defences back into place. He wanted to run, but he couldn't leave without Rose.

"Ohila… I… he- he didn't act when he needed to."

"And you have always sought to never flinch from acting. No matter how difficult. No matter the personal cost."

The Doctor exhaled. He didn't want to talk about this. A tiny part of him, a part that sounded a bit like Rose, suggested that she was right. That the bad decision of his… whatever he was supposed to refer to Him as had made, had at least taught him in this life not to look away. The memories stirred in that deep dark part of himself that he'd fought to lock away the moment he ran from the Untempered Schism.

Memories of Gallifrey before the Time Lords. Memories of Rassilon before power became all he cared about and memories of Omega before he was lost to a dimension of Anti-Matter. Back when they'd simply been three inventors trying to stretch the limits of what was possible. Omega had built the stellar manipulator that powered Rassilon's first time travel experiments. And he had worked on the problem of lifespan, creating regeneration powered by a simple life engine. It worked; it had worked on himself several times as the experiments grew more dangerous. Creating the incarnations of himself that he would be forced to call upon while battling Morbius. But even that hadn't been enough. Not for Rassilon. And he had failed to act to stop Rassilon.

"Coward every time," the Doctor muttered. Then he laughed; it wasn't a nice sound. "No wonder the Guardians hate me."

"Yes, the first Gold Guardian created the White and Black Guardians. I'm not surprised that they are less than impressed with the new Gold Guardian's relationship with you."

"The Scrolls say that Rassilon created the White and Black Guardians," the Doctor said. "Always figured that for a lie."

"You always did have passable instincts," Ohila remarked with a hint of a smile. "No, Rassilon did his best to rewrite history, quite literally at times. Attempted to rewrite the history of Karn even. Tried to make the Sisterhood forget."

The Doctor hummed in agreement. He'd always known that one. Right now, he just felt so old and watching Rose with the Black and White Guardians in the distance wasn't helping. She wasn't looking at him. Rose seemed tired, but she was focused on the other Guardians. What were they talking about? What would it all mean? It was selfish for him to worry about their relationship right now, but he couldn't help it.

"So, what do I need to know?"

"I'm not sure what you do and don't know about the death of the first Gold Guardian, Doctor."

"Very little. We knew that Rassilon did something, but never the details. Omega shrugged it off."

"He paid for that," Ohila observed. She sighed and looked into the orange sky as the suns began to sink towards the horizon. "They all did."

…..

Folding her hands in front of her, Rose fought down the urge to fidget and pace. The energy had been spent. There was evidence all around her in the form of a vibrant and living Karn. Insects buzzed past her, and from their position on the hill, Rose could see the shapes of alien herd animals moving through the grasses. How it was possible, she didn't know. Everything was a bit hazy, but Rose was certain she hadn't known what the creatures of Karn looked like. Or… Gallifrey, she supposed. Her current Doctor hadn't talked about it much, but his next self had told her some about how it looked. This all seemed to match up.

"How are you feeling, Gold?" The White Guardian asked.

"Are you ever going to call me by my name again?" Rose asked softly. She couldn't help but smile at the Guardian. "Or is it Gold only now?"

"If you prefer, I may call you Rose outside of Guardian business," the White Guardian replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Rose admitted. "But also full of nervous energy. I'm tired, but I can't imagine falling asleep."

The Black Guardian nodded his understanding. "You must have questions." He was being oddly gentle, as if afraid that she'd bolt. Rose found that she didn't like that.

"Some, but…" Rose exhaled. "I think I get the gist of the story of the first Guardian."

"Not completely," the White Guardian replied. His eyes darkened, and he looked down the hill towards the Doctor. "There are things that the Doctor can tell you."

"If he can be trusted to speak on it," the Black Guardian grumbled. He met Rose's gaze. "Leave him behind and come to the Hall of the Universe with us, Gold. While you are the Gold Guardian, it will take centuries for you to fully master the power of your position. It will take time for your human form to fully adjust. You would be safe in the Hall of the Universe."

"What do you do there?" Rose asked.

"We watch N-Space, this universe, and the branching universes that I told you of," the White Guardian replied. "The branches allow us to foresee potential threats to the prime universe."

"That sounds…" Rose sighed. "Honestly, that sounds really boring." She looked up into the branches of the tree and smiled as the silvery leaves rustled in the breeze. "I don't want to just watch the universe."

"We expected that answer," the White Guardian admitted. "Lekinaveria never lived there either. She preferred to remain on Gallifrey."

"Which put her in Rassilon's sights," Black growled.

"Okay," Rose said. She held up her hands. "Stop. Let's go back. Tell me about her."

"Lekinaveria was a Gallifreyan. An early Gallifreyan," White explained. "She looked into the Untempered Schism and became the Gold Guardian, the first Guardian in fact. At that time, Gallifrey was the only planet with sentient life. She taught Gallifreyans the ways of the universe; they were the predecessors of the Sisterhood of Karn. Lekinaveria never left the planet. She considered herself tied to it even as life developed across the universe. As life spread, Lekinaveria created the two of us to help her look after the universe."

"And then came the Time Lords," the Black Guardian said.

"Yes," White agreed. "Lekinaveria did not reveal what she did or did not know to us. One day everything seemed to be in order, but then…."

"She was ripped apart," the Black Guardian hissed. "Her very power used by Rassilon to keep us away from Gallifrey."

"And worse, the Eternals picked up that something had changed though they did not know what," the White Guardian added. "We found ourselves scrambling in damage control."

"What about Blue, Violet and Red?" Rose asked.

"They had not yet ascended then," the White Guardian explained. "Red still has not woken. It had been Black, myself and Gold, and then Gold was gone."

Rose swallowed. Grief, true grief was clear in the faces of both Guardians. Despite their conflicting roles, they had shared a connection with the being that created them. Sympathy for their loss filled Rose's chest, but she kept herself from voicing it. Neither Black nor White would appreciate hearing it.

"I'm not Lekinaveria," Rose said softly. "I don't feel any connection to her."

"No, you are not connected to Lekinaveria," White agreed. "You are not a reoccurrence or anything of that nature. You, Rose Tyler, are a brave and caring young woman who we believed could take up the mantle of the Gold Guardian now that Gallifrey is gone. Ironically, the Silver Lord and Trickster's attempts to destroy you before you could finish your ascension resulted in you being a better candidate. You are her successor, not Lekinaveria."

That was a relief. Rose didn't like the notion that she'd been born for this or any nonsense like that. Her life had been a series of challenges and events that she'd dealt with as best as she could. And she had always accepted and dealt with the consequences of them. Still, it also meant that now she had to figure out what happened next with this new change.

…

Ohila did not let them remain in silence for long. "Do you remember Lekinaveria?"

The Doctor flinched at the question. "Only met her once," he answered honestly. The Doctor didn't offer any information beyond that.

"The scrolls describe Lekinaveria as powerful, wise, and unageing. Gallifreyans at the time were long-lived, but they died while she lived on. The High Priestess before me taught us that her rule was a Golden Age of peace as life spread through the universe."

"Until Rassilon," the Doctor said.

"That arrogant and greedy fool. Too brilliant and too hungry for power that did not belong to him. He had his own vision for the universe, and it didn't matter if the universe agreed or not."

The Doctor tensed, remembering his own encounters with Rassilon. So, power-hungry and dangerous that he'd been locked away by the Time Lords. Then restored near the end of the Time War when his brutality and brilliance would have meant the end of all other life.

"The power of the Gold Guardian was trapped by Rassilon within Gallifrey itself, within the Time Lords, and the Matrix and all of his wretched creations," Ohila continued. "Rassilon used the power of Possibility to bind the Gallifreyan's potential to one universe and only one path of reality, destroying all other possibilities and routes that our species may have taken out of fear of another Rassilon one day challenging him and keep dozens of species from ever existing. He used the power of Life to grant himself and his followers extra lives, extra time from the corpse of the Gold Guardian."

"That's not-"

"I'm aware that there had been experiments with regeneration before her murder," Ohila said. She was watching the Doctor with sharp eyes. "One of the Founders successfully regenerated several times using a life engine. But you already know that."

The Doctor didn't argue. The words were true. He'd had no idea that the Sisterhood knew that much about what he knew. Had they been aware when he'd been on the planet duelling Morbius or had that been what tipped them off? When his fourth self had called on those prior forms and their mental strength, had he alerted the Sisters as to who he used to be? That had been before the first he met the White Guardian, and now he wondered if that event on Karn had been a trigger for what followed.

"I am sorry. Having this in my mind as history, protected by the High Priestess, has been painful enough. For you…"

She didn't finish the thought. Just as well, the Doctor decided. He was already tense and ready to yell at her. His eyes jumped back to Rose and the Guardians. They were speaking, and Rose seemed animated, pacing a little as the Black and White Guardians watched her. Then Rose stopped and gathered up her long gold hair and started to braid it. The familiar sight might have been soothing any other day, but he couldn't help but worry it would be the last time he'd see it.

He'd been so angry at the Guardians after the Time War. It had ripped the universe apart and left him staring at a horrible choice. The Time Lords were corrupt, and he knew it, he'd known it for years, but Romana had tried. She'd tried so hard to change them. And she'd made progress only to have Rassilon sweep it all away. But that had proven, at least to him, that maybe there'd still been some hope for the Time Lord. And he'd had to tear Gallifrey and the Daleks out of the universe to save everything. He'd wanted to know why the Guardians hadn't helped.

"And so, the Guardians stayed out of the Time War," the Doctor said. "I'd never made that connection. Never considered closure or revenge. Or maybe it's justice." Honestly, he wasn't even sure. Justice, as harsh as it sounded, didn't seem far off.

"Repressing memories can have that impact," Ohila said drily. "For the Guardians, the Time War must have been the culmination of the Time Lord arrogance and the Dalek viciousness. I suppose for them; it was a good time to be rid of both." Ohila sounded weary and saddened. "And then when you used The Moment, the bindings were cut, and the power of the Gold Guardian was released. It was only a matter of the universe finding the right person."

The Doctor stared at her. He wanted to scoff, call her insane, mock her precious flame, but- but he'd seen it himself. And it made so much sense. Rose had looked into schisms and vortexes too many times over the years. Had Rose been taking on more and more of the power each time she looked into a schism? Had the universe been judging her? Had Bad Wolf been a final test? Here's absolute power; can you control it? Can you use it wisely? Now he was acting like the universe was a sentient force.

"What is Jack?" the Doctor heard himself ask. He turned to check on his companion. Jack was near the entrance to the cave, drinking and eating with a pair of priestesses who did not seem sure what to make of him. "He's not a fact; I would have felt that, but he came back from the dead even when Rose wasn't… glowing."

"I imagine that he is her disciple," Ohila answered with a shrug. "A trusted being holding a spark of the Guardian's power to assist them. After all, you can still regenerate. Very human of her to want to keep him safe and alive as well." Ohila laughed at the expression that must have appeared on his face. "She did the same for you after all. Your Eighth life was saved by the Sacred Flame, and you walked away without even needing to regenerate despite the fact that you died." Ohila sighed softly. "I was confused then, but the Sacred Flame is connected to the Gold Guardian, to your Rose. When she connected with the Heart of Karn, we saw a vision of your Eighth self, and I have no doubt that it was her that saved you in the past."

She was teasing him now, but the Doctor also believed that she was telling the truth. Such a human thing, very Rose. The Doctor hated it but had no idea of what to say. The memories of waking up on Karn with the Sisterhood standing over him and whispering amongst themselves replayed in his head. He'd avoided regeneration, wanting to die with the poor girl who wouldn't leave the ship only to wake up healed and still in his eighth body as a fire burned brightly behind Ohila.

"We had planned to use the Elixir of Life to help you, but the fire burst to life and enveloped you first," Ohila explained gently. "You didn't believe it then, so I kept my silence, but you are much loved by the Gold Guardian, Doctor. Be mindful of that."

That sounded a lot like a threat. This woman did not know Rose like he did. If he broke her heart, if he hurt her, he suspected it would be just the motivation that the Black Guardian needed to restart his revenge plotting. But Rose would deal with him first. She wasn't the type to wait for someone else to avenge her. But Rose also wasn't a proponent of revenge. Except all of that was moot if Rose left with the Guardians. And why wouldn't she? She was a Guardian now.

"Are you going to bond with her?" Ohila asked. He turned to stare at her, expecting a teasing look, but she was clearly serious. "With Rose?"

"That's not done," the Doctor replied.

Ohila rolled her eyes and sighed. "Doctor, you are one of the last Time Lords. You decide now what is or isn't done. Mental bonds were the way of our people long before Rassilon. They were natural to us but gave power where Rassilon didn't want it and turned the focus away from the society he wanted to build. You know of his crimes. I'd suggest you not allow his views to shape your life."

"She's a Guardian."

"Yes, she is."

The Doctor stayed quiet. There were too many thoughts going through his head. Rose had never been just a companion, always closer to a partner just by virtue of her experiences and skills. Now she was… something bigger than him. Something that made the Time Lords small in the scale of the damaged universe, a universe that his people had apparently set up for failure billions of years ago. He had a few names for Rassilon, much worse than "father of lies."

Strange, he'd been worried about outliving Rose by centuries, and now she would certainly outlive him by millions if not billions of years. And Ohila thought he should bond with her. Him, one of the last of the race that had destroyed and cannibalized her predecessor. Him, the reoccurrence of a being who had done far too little when it mattered the most.

Rose was the Gold Guardian of Life and Possibility. How long would she stay with him, or was this going to be goodbye as soon as she was done speaking with the White and Black Guardians? No wonder the Black Guardian hated him so much. Forget denying him the Key to Time; he'd been… dancing with the new Gold Guardian and trying to keep her for himself. Was it even possible for him to keep Rose? Everyone left in the end, and Rose had the whole universe at her fingertips without any help from him. And that wasn't even considering his ancient past.

"Doctor?" Ohila called.

"I… I owe you and the Sisterhood an apology," the Doctor sighed. He wanted to rub his eyes and look away from the old woman, but he didn't. "I was always dismissive of you and the Sacred Flame. I'm sorry for that."

Ohila smiled and nodded. "Yes, you were. For a man who fled Gallifrey and rejected so many of its tenants, you held on to more than a few of their prejudices." She bowed her head slightly to him. "But I hear and accept your apology, Doctor. There was much you, much no living Time Lords knew about Karn and us. We preferred it that way." Reaching out to touch his arm, Ohila simply stared at him for a few long moments. "And, Doctor, thank you for saving the universe. Truly, there is much life yet to come, and it will have the chance to be because you were brave. As an old friend, I now suggest that you try to be happy." He nodded even as she gave him a doubtful look. "Tell her what you need to tell her," Ohila encouraged.

"That's dangerous."

"And very necessary," Ohila said. "But, Doctor, I… felt what she feels for you. When she connected with the Sacred Flame, through time itself to save your Eighth self, it echoed through our connection to the Sacred Flame. I don't believe a fire like her feelings will be so easily extinguished."

The Doctor looked back to Rose. The surface was cooling quickly as the stars appeared while the light of one of the suns vanished behind the mountain. Enough light lingered that Rose seemed to glow once more against the horizon. Ohila's words gave him hope that he was terrified to entertain. It seemed that the Sisterhood knew far more about him than he'd ever imagined. And the Guardians surely did as well. He'd have to tell Rose. And most likely, he'd have to watch her leave with the White and the Black Guardians. But the Doctor was a fool and couldn't help but entertain a small spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, she could forgive him.