Unto the Universe
Chapter Thirty-Five: The Fires of Karn: The Other
By Lumendea
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any spinoff material, and I gain no income from this story, just the satisfaction of playing with the characters.
AN: There will be another chapter after this. So much talking and introspection in this episode. We didn't even get back to the Sisterhood and Jack yet. I had to split things up when this chapter reached 6,000 words and still wasn't done.
….
True to their name, the Sisterhood of the Sacred Fire brought out braziers and lit them to illuminate the evening. One of the suns had set, and the sky was deep red with stars glittering overhead. It wouldn't be long until the other sunset and the chill of Karn returned with force. The Doctor chuckled as he looked over to find Jack dancing with some of the priestesses. Despite the revelry, he noted that Jack kept glancing up to the top of the hill where Rose was still speaking the Guardians.
She'd been with them for a few hours now. His fingers itched to grab her hand and pull her away, but the Doctor was very aware of how foolish an idea that was. He could barely make out Rose's face, and her expression was lost in shadows, but every so often, he reached out telepathically. Time Lords were, in general, touch telepaths, but his connection with Rose was strong thanks to their training. Her mood was calm though he had the sense that she was tired.
Pulling out the sonic screwdriver, the Doctor pointed it in Rose's direction, trying to manage a quick scan. It wasn't the ideal tool for the job, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get Rose back to the TARDIS. There were so many questions. Some many things he wanted, needed to know.
"Dare I ask what you are doing?" Ohila asked him, joining the Doctor at the edge of the firelight.
The Doctor checked the screwdriver. "She's still human," the Doctor said, confusion filling his features.
"Of course, she is," Ohila laughed. When he scowled, she only smiled. "Being a Guardian isn't physical, Doctor; it's metaphysical. She will always remain human and yet, always be more than human. I wouldn't worry. Guardians are all but immortal." She gave him a look. "So, you might want to be more careful with your regenerations."
He didn't like the soft and pleased way Ohila was looking at him. Yes, they'd been something like friends a long, long time ago before the Schism had changed everyone and everything he knew. She'd never made Time Lady, dropped out of the Academy and come to Karn. Yet… she was still here on a thriving planet that was now so much like Gallifrey, and she had the answers.
"Come and visit," Ohila said gently, as if reading his mind. "Hopefully, we can manage a social visit without incident."
"Are you planning to leave the caves?" he asked.
"Seems reasonable; I do rather like the idea of a hut where I can watch the sunrises." Ohila looked around, inhaling the smell of the plants. "The old scriptures spoke of this day; I am glad it has come. Life restored where it was stolen." She looked back at him. "You are welcome here, Doctor. Truly. When you need to see these trees… they will be here."
"This isn't Gallifrey."
"No, it is not. It never will be, but it also doesn't have that dark history," Ohila reminded him. "And it has life, and where there is life, there is hope. We are not Time Lords, never shall be, but who knows what might be possible here." Then she laughed softly, the sound warmer than any he thought he'd ever heard from her.
"What's so funny?"
"It just occurred to me, your last body, that poor version of you burdened with the War of Heaven and the Last Great Time War, he was Life's Champion."
"So, I was told," the Doctor muttered.
"And before that, you served as Time's Champion. Both Eternals claimed false glory only to flee when the Universe needed aid the most." The Doctor shifted, uncomfortable with the reminder of the Eternals who had tugged him around. "Now it seems you are Life and Time's Champion, again. Only now in the service of the true Guardian of Life and Time."
The words startled the Doctor. He almost laughed himself. It was hard not to. Ohila had a point. He couldn't even say that he didn't serve Rose since… he wasn't exactly known for telling her no. Without any force or tricks, she'd made him more loyal to her than he'd ever been to anything else.
"We'll see," he replied instead. "Haven't been able to talk with her yet."
"Yes, well, I imagine the Guardians have much to tell her." Ohila hummed softly and studied the three figures. Despite her outward calm, the Doctor caught a hint of exhaustion and worry in her as well. He wasn't sure if it was directed at Rose, him, or the greater Universe.
But then the Black and the White Guardians bowed to Rose and vanished in flashes of light, leaving Rose alone at the top of the hill. Ohila reached over and pushed him forward. Glaring back at her, the Doctor nonetheless started to move. The red grasses brushed his boots and jeans as he walked towards Rose. She was staring at the horizon and had yet to look at him.
The Doctor lingered in the shade of the tree, trying to gather his courage. It wasn't fair that she didn't know. Rose needed to know. Had they been… well, if they hadn't been lovers, then maybe he could have convinced himself that omission was okay. But as it was, she needed to know, even if it would horrify her. Even if she left him. But the Doctor held out some hope. This was Rose Tyler, the woman who had thanked him for ending the Time War, who loved him despite his long and complicated past. It was hard to hope for another miracle, but maybe he could have just one more with her.
And Ohila had asked him about bonding with her. The High Priestess did not understand the weight of the history at play here. If she did, truly did, then she wouldn't have asked that question. Besides, even if Rose didn't leave him today, eventually, she would want to go. The TARDIS, as marvellous as the ship was, wouldn't be needed by a Guardian. And she might love him now, but that wouldn't last forever. He might be a coward, but he'd try to let her go gracefully when she decided to go. No plot.
"What's wrong, Doctor?" Rose asked, turning to look at him.
The Doctor was grateful it was so dark over here. Rose wouldn't be able to see his face clearly, though apparently, she'd seen enough to tell he was worried. Or his silence and lack of hugging gave him away.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, settling on the most basic question.
"Tired," Rose admitted. "And not from draining the Eternals. Black and White lecturing you for a few hours on the history and role of the Guardians is a lot." She sighed and leaned back against the tree. "But it's nothing that can't wait. At least for now."
'What's next then?" the Doctor asked.
"That's up to me. They wanted me to come with them, but I'm not interested in just watching the Universe." She smiled at him, and the Doctor was grateful for his superior eyesight. "Honestly, I'm not totally sure what to expect next. I've been bracing for this event for years, and now it's passed." Rose shrugged and shifted closer to the Doctor. Without a word, she leaned against him and snuggled into his chest.
"Was this… was this what you were expecting?"
"Yeah," Rose answered. It was more a sigh than anything. The Doctor studied her. There was a patch of drying mud on her red shirt. Rose wore a lot of red rather than gold. Rose didn't seem to stick to one colour like the other Guardians, but her hair certainly counted as gold. "I have for a while, but…" Trailing off, Rose shook her head and chuckled. "Never voiced it and tried not to think about it. A bit arrogant, don't you think, assuming you're going to become the Gold Guardian." The Doctor didn't know what to say. Rose looked up at him, offered him a soft but unsure smile and looked to Ohila. "I had heard Lekinaveria's name before. It confused me, but things make more sense now."
Rose rubbed her arms absentmindedly, and the Doctor frowned. It was growing colder, and her tunic didn't look that warm. If she was cold, that was at least something he could fix.
"Are you cold?"
"No," Rose said. "Tired of standing, though. Thought about sitting down with White and Black, but… well didn't like the idea of them standing over me and the idea of Black sitting in the grass seems silly."
A chuckle escaped the Doctor. But he agreed, the Black Guardian didn't seem the type to go on picnics. The Doctor brought his arms up around Rose, embracing her warm body before he started to sit down. In his arms, Rose made a happy noise, and a few moments later, he was sitting in the long reddish grasses with his back against a tree and Rose in his arms. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent that was mixing with the flora around them. It was perfect. So perfect that he nearly forgot the source of the worry still weighing on his shoulders.
"Doctor? Something is bothering you," Rose said. "I know what happened was a lot, and I'm sorry-"
"Don't," the Doctor cut her off. He kissed her forehead. "You have nothing to apologise for. We're still here, and the Eternals are defeated."
"Okay." Rose paused, and he could feel her hesitation. "You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here if you'd like to."
"It concerns you," the Doctor admitted.
Rose tensed in his arms. "Me?"
"Well-"
Movement and light to his left made the Doctor pull Rose closer and look up. One of the priestesses was approaching up the hill. She bowed to Rose and set an ornate golden lantern on the ground that spilled light around them. Rose grinned in response.
"Thank you," she said. "It was getting a bit dark."
"Of course, Your Grace. Ohila thought you might prefer light in privacy." She bowed once again and backed away.
"I really hope the bowing doesn't become a thing," Rose sighed as the priestess vanished into the shadows.
The Doctor assumed she was rejoining her fellows and Jack. He didn't know if the Sisterhood had any thoughts or vows regarding chastity. If they didn't, then he didn't want to think about what Jack was getting up to.
"You're the leader of the Guardians."
"And a girl from Earth who grew up with a single mum dancing on the poverty line," Rose replied.
"You've always been brilliant," the Doctor corrected. "And brave and compassionate. You were born for a life of adventure and helping others. I've travelled with a lot of people, but you took to it in a way I'd never seen before."
"Thank you." Rose's tone was soft. One of her hands came up to rest between his hearts. He looked down and studied her. The angle wasn't perfect, but he wanted to make sure he remembered her features. "Doctor?"
"There's something you should know about me before you decide what to do next," the Doctor said. "About, well, me and the prior Gold Guardian."
"She lived a billion years ago."
"Yes, she did. But so did I. In a way, at least. It's complicated."
"Okay," Rose said. She didn't move. "Take your time."
"I- he- I," the Doctor stumbled.
"You can use he," Rose offered. "Or change around." She squeezed his arm where she could reach it, sending warmth up the Doctor's arm. "I understand what it's like to have a life attached to who you are that doesn't fit comfortably." She shrugged a little, and the Doctor was startled to realise that, yes, Rose did know that very well. "Even though I accept most of my main counterpart's memories and skills from that rewritten timeline, it doesn't always feel like me," Rose explained. "And then there's all my other counterparts whose memories I try to only look at when they're useful. But they still influence me, still have an impact. So, I understand the pronouns not being a good fit."
"Thank you." The Doctor meant the words. "I've never discussed this with anyone. Ever."
"I'm honoured."
"Don't be," the Doctor huffed. Anger brewed under his skin. This might cost him, Rose. "Not until you know the story. It isn't a nice one."
"Today hasn't been one for nice stories." Rose rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. "Take your time."
He stared out at the red grasses and flowers around them. The moons were starting to rise and cast silvery light across the landscape of Karn. Soon, the lantern wouldn't be necessary. Far in the distance, he could see the sharp mountains of Karn and wondered if there was a desert beyond them. Much of Gallifrey had been deserts, leading to his people evolving lower body temperatures to cope. A soft breeze rustled the leaves of the trees. He both loved and hated Karn now.
"On Ancient Gallifrey, during the era known as the Old Time, the Pythia ruled Gallifrey on behalf of the Gold Guardian. They were essentially her priestesses. Three young men, well young at being in their 60s, were working together to expand their scientific knowledge and, if I'm honest, their personal power.
"Rassilon and Omega," Rose guessed.
"Yes," the Doctor agreed. "And another. His name was burned out of history. By my time, he was only known as the Other. He was the third of that triumvirate. And well, I know history isn't your strong point, but triumvirates rarely work long term. One of the people ends up wanting all of the power. Same thing with them."
"So, Rassilon sabotaged Omega? Caused him to be lost in that Anti-Matter dimension."
"Pretty sure he did," the Doctor admitted. "Omega was honoured, but Rassilon was able to dominate the Time Lord society as it developed."
"Okay, what has this to do with you?"
The Doctor was surprised. On some level, he'd expected either the White or Black Guardians to tell her what had happened. Maybe they planned on it if he didn't tell her. That he could imagine, if he kept something like this a secret, he was sure that the Black Guardian would be all too happy to rat him out.
"My people, well, most of us, were made using looms," the Doctor said. "In theory, we were sterile for millions of years, but I'm not sure if that was actually true. Anyway, the looms used genetic information and rewove it to make new Time Lords, but, well, in my case, I was a genetic reoccurrence of the Other's genetics. Only took almost a billion years to happen, but it did."
"So, you have the same genes as him. That doesn't make you the same person, Doctor."
"Except on Gallifrey, you have the complication of the Matrix and the Untempered Schism. The Matrix was a supercomputer, a micro-universe used by the High Council of the Time Lords as a storehouse of knowledge to predict future events. It was built by the Other, one of the last things he ever built though Rassilon took credit for it. And the Other's memories were within it. I don't need to tell you what the Untempered Schism was. I'm not sure which one triggered the memories, but either one or the other or hell, maybe both made sure that even as a child, I was… aware of things I shouldn't have been. The Matrix assigned my name. It was given as an important possibility to my parents."
"Was it the same name?"
"Yeah," the Doctor laughed bitterly. "So, a couple of years later, when I looked into the Schism, I saw myself destroying Gallifrey and a lot about the Other. Scared me, I took off running. With the help of my brother, despite my young age, I underwent a process called Elective Semantectomy to remove the name from time again. My hope was that no one would ever discover who or what I was."
"I'm so sorry," Rose whispered. "That sounds like a very lonely childhood."
"In general, I tried not to let it affect me, but sometimes things bled through or were potentially dangerous. In my efforts to, well, maybe not blend in, but at least not be seen as a potential threat, I married and had children like I was expected to. But then, when Susan was in the Academy, her genetics were found to have an odd anomaly. She was incompatible with the process of having regeneration bestowed on her. This worried people frightened her and made me concerned that if the Time Lords poked too much at her genetics, they'd discover the link between me and the Other. A lot of ancient Time Lord technology was based on genetics and the mind of the Other who built it. There were a lot of things that the Other experimented with in the early days of Gallifrey that I didn't want to be used again. So, I stole a couple of them, grabbed Susan and left Gallifrey to keep us both safe."
The Doctor wasn't looking at Rose. He didn't want to see her reaction for the next part. "But the thing is, the Other, while not as bad as Rassilon in the end, was still a part of setting up the systems that destroyed the Gold Guardian. He was the one who first invented regeneration. He powered it with small life engines, giving himself, Rassilon, and Omega more time."
"And Rassilon wanted more," Rose said softly. She still hadn't pulled away. She was still curled up in his lap and leaning against his chest.
"Yeah. And the Other didn't intervene." The Doctor's free hand tightened into a fist as the old rage, and self-loathing bubbled up. "I'll admit, he didn't understand the ramifications of what Rassilon would do and what the results would be. He warned the Gold Guardian face to face but refused to take any part in plans to stop Rassilon. And afterwards… well, he felt guilty but still didn't try to stop Rassilon. The regeneration system suddenly had more power than he'd ever imagined it could, and the power of the Pythia was crumbling, giving him, Rassilon and Omega more power over Gallifrey! Even later, when he saw the ramifications, he still didn't ask what had happened, still ignored it. Today, today, I finally learned the reality of what he turned away from! What he should have-"
Rose squeezed his arms and made a soft, soothing sound. Her mind reached for his, compassion and love radiating into him, even though his shields... He still didn't look at her. Rose's actions were gentle and compassionate. He was confessing crimes, and she was still… that was almost worse.
"He stayed, he kept working on the Matrix, and time travel and all those other projects, telling himself that it was done and couldn't be changed, so making sure that the Time Lords were in a position to help mitigate the damage was the best he could do. He helped establish the Web of Time to stitch the Universe back together when cracks started appearing."
"Oh, could those cracks we've seen be the aftereffects now that the Web of Time is so weak?" Rose asked.
The Doctor paused, surprised that Rose was thinking of that right now, given the crimes he was confessing. "Maybe," he admitted. "They are very similar."
"Sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted," Rose said. "So, he made a bad mistake and didn't know how to fix it."
"Bit worse than a bad mistake."
"Sounds like he was close to Rassilon. Going against him would have been hard," Rose pointed out. "And… that guilt you said he had, seems to have helped shape you. He was the man who didn't intervene; you're the man who doesn't know how to not intervene. He didn't want to go against Rassilon while you went against all of the Time Lords." Her expression was painfully soft. "Standing up and making the decision when no one else will."
"That…" the Doctor swallowed. His hearts beat out of time, and tears stung his eyes. "That doesn't make it alright, Rose."
"No, but the memory of it doesn't make it your crime," Rose replied. "And the memory helped shape you into the man I love. I'd never blame you for that."
"Rose, it's more than that. I'm not as good as you think I am."
"What? You're telling me you aren't perfect?" Rose raised an eyebrow. "That is not news to me, Doctor. You're short-tempered; in your arrogance, you sometimes bite off more than you can chew, you can't always control your mouth, you assume everything is your fault even when it really isn't, and you snore."
"I do not." He could only really argue with the last one. And even his mind was struggling to keep up with the sharp turn Rose had just taken them on.
"We literally share a bed," Rose pointed out. "You snore. Not often, but you snore." She gave him a tongue touched smile. "I'll admit that the cold feet aren't your fault. That's just our biological differences. And I do enjoy warming you up."
"Cheeky," the Doctor huffed. But he was smiling again. Still, there was one more question. He thought- he hoped he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it. "Rose, how can you- I mean, are you really okay with this?" The Doctor swallowed. "Do you want to stay with me? Keep, uh, courting? Still travel with me?"
He blushed at the last word, but he had no idea how to describe what they were. In the end, he was an old man desperately in love with someone so much more vibrant and now, apparently, much more important than him and trying to keep her with him as long as possible.
"I love you," Rose said firmly. She adjusted her position, so they were face to face. Between the moonlight and the lantern, the Doctor could see her so clearly and drank her in. Rose's fingers traced his cheek softly. "And I know you well enough to know that you were probably tempted not to tell me all that."
"The White and Black Guardian probably know," he muttered. "Ohila knows, so I doubt they don't. They would have told you. They already hate our relationship."
"Black hates our relationship," Rose agreed. "He's convinced that I have horrible taste in men and can't be trusted with that decision." The Doctor really hated that he agreed. He was not who he would have chosen for Rose Tyler. "And White isn't crazy about it, but he's Order. I'm the Gold Guardian. I'm the leader of the Guardians, so he won't go against what I decide." Rose grinned at him, looking adorably pleased with herself. "So, good news, Black won't attack you. Even he knows better than attacking the boss's boyfriend. I've also informed him that Turlough is off-limits any point in his personal timeline after that Enlightenment business."
"You're protecting me?" The concept still surprised him despite Rose's long history of doing just that.
"Of course, you may be a Time Lord, but you're MY Time Lord."
The Doctor found that he sort of liked that claim. It brought back memories of Bad Wolf and her determination to protect him. Another question burned on his tongue, but the Doctor didn't ask it. He focused on the words Rose had used: boyfriend and my. It didn't sound like she was planning to leave. But she hadn't answered the question.
"Rose, are you staying?"
She blinked at him, and then her cheeks coloured as her gaze softened. For a moment, she seemed sad at his question. Then, leaning forward, she kissed him again.
"Yes, Doctor, I want to stay with you," she answered clearly.
He could breathe again. There were more questions, more things they needed to consider. If she was going to stay with him, then he needed to know the extent of her abilities. Her safety would be on him. The man he'd been so long ago had failed to keep the Gold Guardian safe, but the Doctor couldn't make that mistake. For so many reasons.
"Are you sure?" The Doctor's hearts jumped, and he felt dizzy. "Aren't there things you need to do?"
"Going around the universe protecting life, trying to stop bad things and ensure open possibilities for species," Rose said. She was smiling warmly up at him, and it was the best thing in the Universe. "That's basically my job description, and wait- I know just how to do that. There's this beautiful, marvellous ship called the TARDIS who has a knack for knowing where help is needed. Are you willing to be my designated driver? Though, mind you, I will argue with you from time to time."
Relief was too light a word for what crashed over the Doctor's body. The Doctor grinned. This would take a bit of time to wrap his mind around, but Rose… Rose was a Guardian with a life span that would almost certainly eclipse him, and she still wanted to come with him, wanted to be with him. A soft exhale escaped him, and the Doctor leaned forward, cupping Rose's face with both hands. He kissed her softly, their teeth clanking together as they both grinned like idiots. It was perfect. He wasn't glad that Gallifrey was gone, but it was a bit easier to accept now.
"Where to, darling?" he asked.
She beamed at him. "Have I told you that I like darling almost as much as Jeopardy Friendly?"
Laughing, the Doctor grinned at her so widely as his face ached, but he didn't care. "Well, both are accurate." He could barely believe the sappy words coming from his mouth.
But how could he not be happy? What was happening to Rose, while a bit terrifying, wasn't necessarily bad. It would make her target like the first Gold Guardian had been for Rassilon, but he would protect her. And her lifespan… the Doctor shivered as he held her close. For once, thinking of the future with Rose didn't fill him with fear and borrowed grief.
"I love you," he whispered, grateful that he'd learned how to say the words. "I love you, Rose Tyler." He kissed her forehead. "My hearts," he breathed, adding yet another endearment to the list.
"I love you too." Rose leaned up and pressed her lips against his again. This time, he managed not to grin like an idiot and actually kiss her back.
The wind blew through the leaves of one of the newly grown trees, producing a brilliant, almost metallic rustling sound. Pulling back from Rose, the Doctor brushed his thumb over her cheek and looked around once again. The vegetation of his homeworld surrounded him, and with the once stormy skies of Karn had fully cleared with two moons reflecting light down on them. Not Gallifrey, but he could see so much of the natural beauty of his homeworld here. The world that the first Gold Guardian had known and loved before Rassilon changed it.
"We'll stay for tomorrow at least," the Doctor said. "I'd… I'd like to show the plants and animals to you."
"I'd like that too."
Growing near the tree, to the Doctor's great delight, was a large group of arkytior flowers. "This is the arkytior flower," the Doctor said. He gently picked on and handed Rose the bloom, watching the smile spread over her face, and her eyes gleam. The Doctor realised with surprise that he'd just given his lover a flower. "Similar to the Earth rose." Rose looked up at him with soft eyes. "In High Gallifreyan, arkytior would translate to rose." He turned the flower, smiling at the pink and yellow petals. "No thorns, but similar in appearance."
"It's beautiful," Rose said.
"Susan's Gallifreyan name was arkytior," the Doctor confessed. The words slipped out before he considered that they might not be appropriate.
Rose nodded and tucked the flower into her braid before taking his hand. "I'd love to hear more about her from you. If you'd ever like to tell me."
"I will," the Doctor agreed. But then he pulled Rose closer and rested his chin on the top of his head. She had a soft happy sound in his arms that he very much agreed with. "Later." For now, he was going to hold onto this calm moment. Sooner or later, they'd need to speak with Ohila and the sisters and Jack, and he'd have to share Rose with the whole Universe. But like this, in the shade of a silver-leafed tree with two moons above them, Rose was happy with him.