XLVIII

It was sunny all day. Lingering around the outskirts of Hogsmeade, Sirius had watched the students come and go.

Halloween. Today, twelve years ago, everything had changed.

Twelve years ago, if he had made different choices… But he had twelve years to lament over such What If's. Today, he had a new decision to make.

Halloween. In Hogwarts, there would be the great feast in the evening. The Common Rooms would be deserted, the corridors too. Just about everybody would come together in the Great Hall: the students, the staff, even the ghosts. Sirius knew he wouldn't have such an opportunity again, not until the winter holidays.

It was time… He had laid in waiting, recuperating his strength for this day. Days ago, he had decided, that this would be his opportunity, and now that the time had come…

Sirius was afraid.

All-day, he watched students come and go to and from Hogsmeade. If he failed today—if he was caught, he wouldn't live to see the next sunrise, he was certain of that. Just once, he wanted to see Harry before. He wanted to know he was fine, alive, and healthy, and happy. As happy as he could be.

But he didn't see Harry. He either missed him, or Harry looked very different to his parents, or he didn't come to Hogsmeade. In any case, he didn't find Harry, even though he waited for hours, just outside Hogsmeade.

He only followed the last group of students back to the castle. One paw in front of the other, Sirius kept a safe distance, without losing them out of sight. Not that he didn't think he could find the way without them—he was fairly certain, he still knew the castle and surrounding area better than most—but the dementors…

As a dog, they wouldn't even acknowledge him, he knew from experience, and still, the vicinity to the students gave him courage. If the wraiths noticed him after all, hopefully, they'd think he was just a part of the student group.

One step in front of the other.

One step…and another.

He could feel the cold soil under his paws, scented the autumn in the air. There were dry red leaves under his claws, crunching together and breaking with deafening noise. So much so, he feared the teenagers would hear it.

They didn't. Or if they did, they never turned around to look what it was. Instead, they were chatting with each other, laughing and fooling around. And Sirius remembered well the times when he had been in their position.

With the Marauders, he had always enjoyed the Hogsmeade weekends. And the Halloween feast.

But this wasn't 20 years ago with his friends. Sirius was alone, the teens were total strangers and Hogwarts had changed.

There was that moment when the laughter in front of him stopped—when the ground under his paws turned hard and frozen—when the leaves on the trees looked just that bit deader.

For a moment instead of the autumn air, he smelled Azkaban. As if he was back in his cell, where he spent the last twelve years of his life.

"Padfoot!"

I know.

"Padfoot!"

I know, Prongs…I know.

"You killed us all. We died because of—"

The voices stopped, when Sirius stepped past the circle of Dementors, the ghost-like creatures hovering over his head with fluttering dark cloaks, too far away for his dog psyche to hear their whispers, anymore.

Whenever he dreamed of Hogwarts in his cell, he had never imagined it like this. This wasn't the homecoming he had expected…

Then they got closer to the castle. With the Dementors and the terrible fear of being detected before ever reaching the castle in his back, it was the first time that Sirius had the unobstructed view of Hogwarts. Warm light came pouring out of high windows. The way up to the castle was swept, leaves piling along the sides, and the great front gate was polished and shiny.

He didn't enter right after the students. He had to wait for the small window after the feast started, and before Filch—if Filch was still the janitor—would close the doors for the night. He went back to the edge of the forbidden forest, to make sure, he wouldn't be seen until sunset.

In the silence of the evening, he paced, feeling both his natural anxiety due to the plan he had committed to and the sense of melancholy that came with the vicinity of the Dementors.

Hagrid was already in the castle, he thought when he closed in on the gamekeeper's hut. There was no sign of life apart from a big hippogriff chained to a post. After the harvest, the pumpkin field looked sad and chaotic, Hagrid's heavy footprints all over the cut greenery.

There was something shiny in the mud, and circling around the hippogriff, Sirius could see what it was. A sharp carving knife, still smelling of raw pumpkin.

When the dog inside the hut started barking, Sirius jumped. He didn't think much about it, but he took the knife between his teeth and ran.

He ran all the way back to the castle, to the front gate, and through the open doors.

And like that…he was home.

For a moment, the realization was so overwhelming he almost stopped in the middle of the Entry Hall, to appreciate it all. It would be stupid, he knew. Despite the feast, that must have already started, people could come out any minute. And Filch would come soon, too, if the gates were still closed at the same time as when he was still in school.

So, Sirius quickly slunk into the shadow of the stairs down to the dungeons, behind a great armor.

There, he waited, until he could be sure, that everybody was at the feast and the Common Rooms and dorms were empty. He waited even beyond that, out of nervousness and…admittedly, nostalgia.

Having reached here, he hid in the darkness. Waited, until he could hear the noises of the yearly Halloween show of the ghosts late into the night. That way, he could avoid the ghosts too, he hoped. His body felt shaky with anxiety and giddy happiness.

Home.

Home.

After all these years.

Inside, very little had changed. As always on Halloween, there were huge pumpkins decorating the place. Close to Sirius, just next to the door to the Great Hall, there was a big orange one, with the grimace of an animal. A wolf maybe, or a fox. It looked fierce and powerful. And frightening. A beast, that could rip him apart.

He had to take some of the beast's fierceness and push himself, to move. He had to move.

Though fear was shaking him, nostalgia was freezing him to the spot, and grief was choking him, he had to push past that.

Just across the Entry Hall, and halfway up the stairs, there would be a secret passage that would lead him almost all the way to the Gryffindor Common Room, without being seen by any of the big portraits in the upper corridors.

He just had to move!

MOVE!

He did. Suddenly, Sirius stood out in the open, before he could even comprehend, that he had done that most difficult step. There he stood, at the top of the stairs to the dungeons, stupidly waiting for nothing at all, before he realized what he was doing.

Run! Up the stairs. Behind the Armor.

Password: … Fuck what was the password?

Sirius turned into his human form. He caught the knife as it fell from his mouth. "Pot, meet kettle."

The armor didn't move.

"Pot, meet kettle! Pot meets kettle?"

Impatiently, he started shoving against the armor. It gave a horrible, loud Clank when the helmet cluttered to the ground.

He felt like somebody had drenched him in icy water. The passage was closed. Filch or one of the teachers must have found it.

He felt his throat constrict in panic. Breathing was suddenly painful. He held onto the armor for dear life, willing the wall behind to reveal a passage, a hole, anything. In his desperation, he clutched the knife so hard, it cut into his palm. His body was trembling so hard, that the armor screeched and clanked in a shrill metallic cacophony. It made Sirius' ears ring. He shrieked back, almost lost his footing, then quickly transformed.

The sudden noise had reminded him of where he was, and what to do. There was a second entry into the passage, just up the stairs, and at least this time, he found his way there without any added clamor.

Only when he reached the dark passage, no light falling into the narrow corridor, he felt safe again. He felt his heart race, his lungs quivering. Slowly, he waited, until his body and mind could settle into at least manageable stress levels. Still, when he finally continued his journey through the castle, his body felt weak and every step as if it might be his last.

He had to pull all the strength from his body, just to keep moving forward.

By Melin's Beard! He was a Gryffindor! Such cowardice was unbecoming of his house. He needed more courage, more strength. He needed to be fierce.

Growling, baring his fangs, he mimicked the way the pumpkin beast had snarled. He didn't have those fiery, glowing eyes, but he could snarl just like it. Although Sirius knew, that making such noises—no matter how quiet, no matter that everybody was at the feast—would increase the risk of being found, he growled all the way to the exit that should land him right in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. It gave him strength.

Sirius wasn't the Dementors' prey.

He was the predator. A predator hunting a traitorous rat.

He had no reason to be afraid. Fear would only keep him from doing what he had to do.

And Sirius knew what he had to do. He had known for years. Ever since going to Azkaban, really, he had known, this day would come. The day that might be his last day, or Peter's.

There was a sad sense of grief at the thought, but not enough to make him stop and reconsider. His decision was set in stone. He knew what he had to do.

So, he took a calming inhale of air. In this old, unused passageway, the air tasted of old dust and earthy stone. Then he pushed the secret exit open—just a finger's width, so he could peer outside and check that the corridor was indeed empty.

He turned human before he left the passage. There was no point revealing his Animagus form to the portraits and ghosts if they saw him.

It was only a few more steps to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Here, so close to the Common Room, he knew every painting, every nook in the walls. Nothing had changed. It was as if he had stepped into a time capsule. His graduation was fifteen years in the past, the last time he'd been here, and yet, it could've been yesterday. It still looked the way it had back then as if no time had passed at all. The Fat Lady was still the same.

"Password?" the portrait asked, without even really looking at him.

Sirius could almost forget the fact that he was a thirty-three-year-old adult, wearing prison garbs, a stolen cloak, and stolen boots. For a moment, he remembered the old times, when he stood here as a student.

"I don't have the password," Sirius admitted, feeling disappointment drop heavily in his stomach. He had forgotten about that part.

Unimpressed, the Fat Lady looked up from her nails, appraised him with a slight frown.

"Let me in, please," Sirius asked.

"Password?" She repeated. "I can't let you in without a password."

Sirius took one step forward. "Don't you remember me? I'm a Gryffindor. You know me, right?"

"I know who you are, Sirius Black," she looked entirely unconcerned.

"I'm a Gryffindor. Let me in! This is important." He was nervous. He hadn't planned for this. Losing so much time in front of the portrait, he could be found any minute.

"I know that they are searching for you," she shuddered, "the Dementors."

Sirius trembled at the mention of the soul-sucking creatures. "I beg of you! Please! It's to protect one of your kids; you're responsible for them, aren't you?"

But she didn't budge. "You're wasting my time. Nobody gets inside without the password. And you? I wouldn't let you in, even with the password."

"Let me in!"

There was no point arguing with her, though. She averted her eyes, as if totally unconcerned by his presence. His hands shook… As he looked down, there was the carving knife in his hand.

"Let me through!" he ordered and raised the knife, threateningly.

Now, the Fat Lady at least looked at him, as if she finally took him seriously. She stared at the knife. Her jaw quivered slightly. Then she shrieked and—ran.

"Ah! Sirius Black!" she wailed.

He should run, but instead, he jumped at the empty portrait, cutting the canvas.

"Stop! Stop!" the Fat Lady screeched from another painting, horrified and pale in the face as she watched him destroy her world. "Stop, Black!"

"Let me in!" he wailed in panic. "Let me through."

With her screaming, it was only a matter of time, until somebody heard.

"AAAAAAH!" Wailing loudly, the Fat Lady fled out of his sight. He could hear her scream and cry all the way down the corridor, but he didn't care. His knife cut deeper, even through the wood of the frame, and then hit solid stone underneath. There was no getting through.

Shit!

"What's going on here? I heard the madam wailing." Peeves' loud cackling brought him to his senses. Alerting the Fat Lady would be one thing. As a portrait, her movement through the castle was limited. If Peeves caught him, he'd never be able to shake him off.

And Sirius' attempts had failed, anyway.

Whirling around, he checked that Peeves hadn't come around the corner yet, and quickly hurried back to his secret passage.

"Sirius Black!" the Fat Lady wailed somewhere far away.

"Sirius Black?" Peeves asked. "Uh-huh? Did Blacky finally make it?"

It was the last thing, Sirius could hear before he turned back into his Animagus form and hurried down the secret passageways. In the Entry Hall, there was a short moment of panic. The gates were closed, and he feared, any minute the feast would end, and hundreds of students would come pouring out from the Great Hall.

Searching for a different exit, he found an open window in the next room over. Jumping through, it was a bit higher, than he had expected. His body dropped six feet, fell aching on hard grovel underneath. Sirius was immediately back on all fours, bounding towards the forbidden forest.

And there he stayed. He didn't dare move away from his hiding place between bushes and trees. With Peeves clamoring around, it wouldn't be long until the castle's inhabitants figured out what had happened. They'd call the dementors then to search the castle and the premises. He had to prepare for that.

A sudden noise pulled him from his panicky spiraling thoughts.

"Aawoooh!"

The howling of a wolf, from the castle. At first, he thought, he must have imagined it. Then, there it was again. He found solace in it.

A familiar sense of peace.

It allowed the panic to ebb away and the realization to settle in. He had failed. It would be more difficult now, that they knew he was there—and Peter was warned too. That would make it harder, and he could bite himself in frustration that he hadn't planned for the Fat Lady. And yet…He hadn't been caught. There would be a second chance.

Sirius had thought this would be the day to decide Peter's fate, or his own, maybe both. In the end, the day hadn't decided anything. He'd get another attempt, and the next time, he would prepare more thoroughly.

This failed attempt, it wasn't even a complete waste. As he felt the Dementors pass over his head, he shivered and cowered deeper into the bushes. Today, he had made it onto school grounds. He had made it past the patrolling Dementors. He could once again find security in the knowledge that they couldn't see past his Animagus transformation. He was safe.

Sirius was still safe.

He was still the predator, hunting the rat.

He could still reach his goal. He just had to believe that because what else was there?

Kakashi thought he heard somebody scream.

"What was that?" But none of his classmates seemed to know what he was talking about. "You didn't hear it?"

There was more noise from upstairs, where the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students had disappeared to after the feast. He stood from his bed, certain that he hadn't imagined it.

"Didn't hear anything," Ernie shrugged. He stood in the bathroom, a toothbrush in his mouth.

But Kakashi was certain he heard feet trampling down the stairs over their heads. The Hufflepuff Common Room was right next to the kitchens on the ground floor, so normally down here he wouldn't hear anything the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were doing up in their towers. Now, however, he was certain, that he could hear dozens of feet coming down the stairs.

"Go to sleep," Ernie said when Kakashi began pacing to the door to poke his head out, then to the window. "I'm tired, and we have classes tomorrow."

Kakashi was certain, that something wasn't as it should be. His instincts told him so.

There was a wolf crying outside. Or inside? For Kakashi, it was hard to say where exactly the noise came from.

"Scary," Nitin mumbled, hiding under his blanket. "It's a full moon. I bet there are werewolves out there. Close the window."

Kakashi looked up at the full moon that stood big and round over the trees of the Forbidden Forest. He didn't think it was werewolves putting his nerves on edge. There was a ruckus out there, just a bit too far away for him to figure out what it was.

He closed the window again, opened the door, and stepped out on the corridor. Behind him, Ernie put his toothbrush away, shoved his feet into wooly slippers and shuffled after Kakashi. "Where are you going, Charlie?"

"I just want to—" There was noise coming from the Common Room. Kakashi quieted moving down the hall.

"You want to what?" Ernie put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "It's past curfew."

"I'm just going to the Common Room," he said. He was certain, that somebody had just entered. Somebody, who he could ask for more information. So, Kakashi shrugged Ernie's hand off to walk past the dorms of the second- and first-year boys.

The Hufflepuff Common Room was a warm and inviting place. The walls were paneled in oak wood. The couches and chairs were cushioned in bright yellow and black, and many shades of brown. The badger, that was their sigil was proudly displayed above the chimney. There was still a fire going, despite the late night, and the Common Room being essentially empty.

Essentially.

Two people—or rather a person and a ghost had just entered the Common Room.

The Fat Friar was the house ghost of Hufflepuff. He was, as Kakashi had learned, a tenth-century monk with a rotund body wrapped into a grey cowl. He and Professor Sprout next to him were quite similar in body type.

"Mr. Major? Mr. Macmillan? Did something happen?" Professor Sprout asked worriedly. "Did something wake you up?"

"Charlie said he heard some noise," Ernie answered.

"Noise?" Professor Sprout looked concerned.

"A ruckus somewhere above us," Kakashi explained.

"Ah, right." The teacher looked uncomfortable. She leaned towards the ghost. "Will you wake the boys, please?"

"Of course," the Fat Friar replied in a slow and drawling voice and flew around the two students into the corridor for the boys' dormitories.

"Please wait here," Sprout instructed the teenagers. "I'll quickly wake the Prefects, then I'll explain."

Ernie looked confused. "So, something happened?"

"We'll talk about it in a minute."

Kakashi looked after her with a concerned frown, as she vanished into the corridor for the girls' rooms. Ernie and he looked at each other, then settled into one of the sofas.

"What do you think happened?" Ernie asked, and then for the first time genuinely interested he added, "What did you hear?"

"Nothing specific," Kakashi shrugged. "Just feet trampling."

"Hm…"

They ended up having to wait for much longer than just one minute. Kakashi felt restless. He was about to leave and search the castle himself when his other classmates came trudging into the Common Room. They looked tired and confused.

"What's going on?" Justin asked with a yawn, as he wrenched himself into the narrow space on the sofa between Kakashi and Ernie. Kakashi shuffled aside, then stood.

The Common Room was filling up until, finally, Sprout came back. She raised her hands, though it took a moment for the low chatter to stop.

"Please be quiet for a moment. I need to tell you something," she announced. She sighed. "I don't know how best to tell you. I fear, there is no way to trivialize this… Today, during the feast, there was an attack. Sirius Black—" At the mention of the name, a loud buzz rose from the children. Sprout waited for the noise to settle. "Black managed to infiltrate the castle. He attempted to force access into the Gryffindor Common Room." Immediately she raised her hands, placatingly. "Please, don't worry. Nobody was injured and the school staff and ghosts are currently searching the castle. You are perfectly safe, but for the duration of the night, the headmaster suggested to come together into the Great Hall."

"They want us to sleep in the Great Hall?" Ernie asked confused, loud enough for Professor Sprout to hear.

"Yes. Don't worry. It will just be for the night. So please, get what you need, and come back here, so we can walk to the Great Hall together."

So much about there being no danger, Kakashi thought. He recognized an evacuation order when he heard one. They hadn't found Sirius and didn't know if he might not attempt to break into any of the other Common Rooms. It was unlikely, Kakashi thought. And the teachers would think so either. As far as they knew, Sirius was after Harry, so breaking into the other Common Rooms would be nonsensical unless they feared he would want to take hostages.

While everybody went to get their things for the night, Kakashi remained where he was.

Sirius was here.

He had finally arrived, and Kakashi had missed him. He was angry with himself, but not too surprised. After all, he had expected Sirius around this time, and it made sense for Sirius to infiltrate the castle at a time, that the students would be occupied with the feast. Still, Kakashi should've been better prepared, to help him. Or to stop him from doing something stupid. The realization, that if Sirius had been caught, it might already be too late, struck him hard.

Professor Sprout hadn't given them much information, but it seemed that this botched attempt had been crudely planned at best. The next time, Kakashi told himself, would be better.

The next time, Sirius would have his support, whether he wanted it or not.

For now, he had to find him first.

So, when the students marched to the Great Hall, Kakashi used a clone to stand in for himself, while he slunk away, through a window and out on the school grounds.

Happy Holidays!