Thanks to all of you who took the time to review my story!

AN: Happy new year everyone! Let it be full of joy, love, health, happiness and beautiful surprises for all of us :)
AN-2022-01-11: chapter betaed by Miette and dstone12 who are still loyal to this story, thank you so much!

I close the door of the bathroom stall and turn the lock with a sigh of relief. I need some time alone to process everything I've just learnt. It's been an awful day. Night. Month.
I should be feeling happy right now or at least relieved. Moody's alive despite being made to play prey for Death Eaters. He lost part of his leg but he doesn't seem to care. After what he just survived, I would be hiding under my blanket, cradling Lily and Harry against me to forget the horrors of the outside world. But not him. He's already planning our next steps. He doesn't seem worried about not being able to use Magic as he's used to. To think I fancied myself a hero when I fought against Death Eaters to interrupt their raids…

I've been debriefed under an unbreakable Oath. Something else I still have trouble to admit to myself. They think some of us are Lord Voldemort's followers. Death Eaters. They are officially the same now, but when were there any doubts?

Of the one hundred and twenty Aurors of the department, only Scrimgeour, Prewett, Frank, Sirius and I were present for Moody's debrief. The only non-Auror present was Albus. Aside from Scrimgeour who was present as the Head of the Auror department, we all are members of the Order of the Phoenix, the only ones ready to do what we must against the Death Eaters' threats. I don't understand why we can't just check everyone's arm for the presence of his tattoo. Scrimgeour said those among us would have it hidden. Frank said that only bearing his tattoo could not be considered a crime. Sirius said it should. Prewett shrugged. I… don't know what to think.
For the first time in my life, I'm scared. They kidnapped Moody. Famous Auror Moody. Pureblood Alastor Moody, nephew of the Head of Ogden House. They could have killed him if they had not been too greedy and decided to play with him. To make him a lesson for all of us. They almost succeeded.

I still cannot believe how everything went downhill since Councillor Baxter's murder. Funny how I now realise that the previous attacks from the Death Eaters that had seemed so violent and wrong to my inexperienced eyes were only skirmishes. Now, the Death Eaters are truly fighting, harming people instead of only humiliating and roughing them up a bit. There had been a few uses of torture before, but the reports had been that one of the Death Eaters usually stepped in to stop it after a few spells. Now they don't stop. And they use so many Dark spells. I had not realised they were restraining themselves before. I thought they only cast one once in a while because they were not capable of more. Because while they could easily subdue mere Muggles, they were no match for Aurors. How naive of me.

I shudder as I think of Moody's report. Can we expect the Death Eaters to regularly kidnap people to practice their Dark and ugly spells? Even the one who saved him used those. Well, that's what Moody thinks. I don't understand how he deduced that the one who cut his leg was also his saviour, but he was really sure of himself. That might have been the painkilling potions working.
To think that Moody is alive because in the same way as we may have traitors on our side, they have their own. How disturbing is that? And how much can we count on them to help us again? What if they only helped Moody escape to scare us about what is yet to come?

I need to be prepared. Moody's abduction is proof that they are ahead of us in what they are willing to do for their cause. I cannot allow it. I must be as ruthless as they are. I must learn to think as they do. It's the only way to save Harry. My little boy. The most perfect thing I did in my entire life.

I know Lily agrees. She has been researching ways to protect Harry beyond what Albus already proposed from the start. I thought she was being paranoid, not trusting his solution to be enough. But I was the one who was too trusting. I should have seen it when Sirius and Petunia both agreed with her. The only time the two of them have ever agreed on something.

I wish we were still back in Hogwarts. The world was simpler then. Slytherins were the bad guys, and we were the good guys. Today, the only way to distinguish Death Eaters is to look for their ugly tattoo. Too bad we are not allowed to just ask some of those slytherin Purebloods to put up their sleeve, no matter what Frank says. But contrary to Hogwarts, all our enemies are not Slytherins, something I still have trouble believing. We arrested a Hufflepuff during a fight last week. He wore his Mark as proudly as the other Death Eaters. How can a Hufflepuff be proud to follow a Slytherin like Lord Voldemort?
Yes, I wish I was back in Hogwarts. Sirius sometimes was a bit more bloodthirsty than I was comfortable with, like with the Werewolf prank, but I'd take such behaviour anytime against his prolonged silences. I'm still unsure those Goblins truly are helping him. But Father is pleased. He assured me he could see that Sirius was getting better. He said I was just too close to see the changes.
Well, there was one big change. For the first time since he officially became a Potter, he spoke of Regulus aloud. He suggested contacting him to collect information on the Death Eaters. How can he believe that any information his ex-brother would give him would not come straight from Lord Voldemort's orders? How can he think that Regulus would choose him over the Death Eaters? No matter how confusing the world has become, no matter that there may be traitors among Voldemort's followers, Slytherins remain Dark.

But even this is not as clear these days. Look at Father, singing the praise of Caspian after their first and only meeting. I remember how he told me time and time again to be wary of Slytherins because they were manipulative, with plans within plans, never straightforward about anything. I remember all the horrors he told me about Grindelwald, the most Slytherin of them all as he is a Dark Lord. And yet, when I reminded Father of this, he laughed as if I had made the biggest joke in the world. He told me that it was not because all Slytherins were bad that we had to be wary of them. No, it was because their twisty ways were alien to us Gryffindors, and as such, it was really easy for them to blindside us, be it in politics or in business.
But that's not what Albus says. It's confusing. And things are tense between the two of them after Lily told Father about the Prophecy. He was very angry with Albus for hiding it for such a long time. I don't understand why, Albus had good reasons not to tell us at first. Prophecies are so tricky. But Father kept on ranting on Albus reverting to his worst behaviours. I know they had a huge row, though they were careful to have it in private.
I don't understand why Father is fighting with Albus on this, it's not important, and now is really not the time to be divided. And I don't understand how Father cannot agree that all Slytherins are bad. They are the ones who hurt harmless Muggles for fun.

But I can't really say that all Muggles are harmless. Another line that's quite blurred these days. I always thought that the Wizards that had once been burnt on stakes had been either stupid or betrayed by their family, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've seen Petunia defend herself using both muggle and magical means. Her stone gives her quite the advantage, but it's not the only reason. She actually managed to put Sirius to sleep several times without raising his suspicions.
It made me realise that a clever Muggle with access to a Muggleborn could build a trap and kill many Wizards. Just look at Abraxas Malfoy. Killed by Muggles. Father assured me that he was noble for a Slytherin. That he had truly been trying to help those Muggleborn kids when he had been killed. It was the first time that I realised that some Muggles were not nice, and that they could even be a threat to me. Petunia is the one who definitely brought home that Muggles could harm me. The second time she managed to put Sirius to sleep, I was truly afraid of a Muggle for the first time.
Before, I thought that Muggleborns and their family could only be amazed and enthralled at Magic. Lily's parents had reinforced my convictions. Lord Malfoy's death showed that it was only one of the possibilities. It took me a long time to admit that while it makes me sick to agree on anything with him, Lord Voldemort may have had a… small point when he claimed that not all muggle families gladly accept that their child was magical. That they do not all consider it the benediction it is.

That's not to say that it excuses the Death Eaters' current actions, threatening, terrorizing, hurting and even killing those who disagree with them. Yet, if Sna— Caspian's family had been one of those… But he is a Halfblood, surely his muggle parent loves Magic to have married a Wizard or a Witch. Look at Andromeda and Nymphadora. Ted loves them so much.

Andromeda. Why did she refuse to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix only to become a member of Caspian House instead? She was a Black. Sirius' favourite Black. She is no fool. Why doesn't she think that Albus is the right answer to this mess? Why has she gone to this one particular man?
I still can't understand Caspian. At Hogwarts, he was brilliant but so weak in his fifth year. And then, at the beginning of my sixth year, I learnt that he had passed his OWLs and NEWTs with impressive scores, only for him to disappear for four years and come back with four masteries and a Thestral Familiar. How is it even possible without using a Dark ritual?
Yet Moody does not think that Caspian is in the same league as the Lestranges or the Mulcibers. He even had Sirius and I on "spelled muggle objects" duty after the failed search at Caspian's home. It was so boring. I still don't know how the git managed to hide his Dark dealings. I won't believe a Slytherin, follower of Lord Voldemort, is not using every advantage available—especially Dark Magic.

"Oy, Prongs! You there?"

I can't help but smile. Of course Sirius is the one to come and rescue me from my dark headache-inducing thoughts.

"Yes, I'm here. Can't a man go to the loo in peace?"

"You've been gone for ages, man. Are you trying to drown yourself in the bowl?"

I laugh at his disgusted tone.

"Nah, just…" I trail off, not knowing what to say. We've always shared a lot, Sirius and I, but he doesn't need my insecurities to burden him. Not now.

"I know, that meeting was rough."

I open the door of the stall, and sure enough, my brother is looking at me with soft understanding in his eyes. He extends an arm and I willingly accept his half-hug. The contact grounds me. I'm not alone in this.

"We'll protect our family, James. No matter what."

I look up to meet his eyes, and I read the same determination I feel in my heart. We'll protect Lily and Harry, no matter what.

"Albus called for an Order meeting in one hour," explains Sirius. "I think we should have a Marauders meeting afterwards."

I smirk.
"You'd better be including Lily and Petunia in that meeting."

Sirius grimaces.
"Lily obviously. Her sister, however…"

"She wants to protect Harry as much as you do. And she thinks outside the box."

He sighs.
"I know. I just…"

"Did not appreciate being bested by a Muggle?"

He shrugs but doesn't answer. I don't know if he just doesn't appreciate Petunia or if he has guessed that we have not been entirely truthful with him. I almost regret not telling him about Caspian's stone, except I cannot be certain that he would not destroy it, no matter its usefulness. And now, I can't because of the Oath. Lily was very skilled and thorough in her wording.
I know that Albus is still frustrated that Petunia refused to show him her new stone. She is awfully wary of him, when she is far too trusting of Caspian.

I shook my head. I'm still so confused. I admire and trust Albus as much as Father. He has always encouraged me against Slytherins, and Caspian in particular. Yet, Moody seems more ambivalent than him on Caspian's subject, even more so since that fruitless search in his home. Lily and Petunia are huge fans, and it cannot be for his looks. Can he really be the one who helped Moody escape? I can't imagine him taking such a risk. He's such a Slytherin, how could he be so brave?

"Prongs?"

I realise I've been lost in my thoughts for far too long as Sirius looks at me with concern.

"Sorry Padfoot, I was thinking about everything we need to prepare for."

He nods, looking suddenly very serious and far older than he is.
"I began a list, with the possible protections of course, but other things too. Want to look at it until it's time to go to the meeting?"

I smile at him gratefully as I nod and let him guide me toward the office we share with Frank and Prewett. He's already way ahead of me. What would I do without him?

People often think that Sirius is impetuous, but in truth, he always takes the time to think and plan. The first time I told him so, he called it his hereditary Slytherin affliction that he was trying to erase. I told him it was a "Sirius" asset he needed to cultivate.
He's the one who realised that Caspian did not owe me a life debt, contrary to what Albus had once implied. I can't blame the old man as I was not completely honest about the circumstances of my rescue of Caspian. Sirius researched life debts with the hope of using it against Voldemort before I ever thought of it.
After he found out about the non-life debt, Sirius theorised that Caspian might be able to break the Silencing Oath Albus had made us take. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I try very hard not to think about that night, how it could have gone very wrong if we had been less lucky. It had been a harsh lesson for Sirius, a reminder that planning went beyond successfully tricking your target, and that you had to examine all the possible consequences of your trick.
Sometimes, I feel like Lily knows about that night. The way she sometimes makes sharp comments at Sirius. But if Caspian had told her, Sirius and I would have already felt her fury.

Yes, Sirius is a planner, but sometimes, his temper gets the better of him, despite all his careful planning. Though his temper has been better lately. Father may have a point about the Goblins.
Sirius' temper certainly put us in enough troubles, especially with Caspian. I have never felt as guilty as that day when Father told us of the punishment the Goblins had issued for our attack on Caspian. He was so disappointed to learn we had broken the rules of Kyirong. It was even worse when we learnt about the ban.
Taking refuge in Kyirong or another one of the Sanctuaries was never my favourite option as I would have had to leave my Auror job and stop fighting for the Order, but it's not even a possibility today.
I can't believe Sirius and I won't be accepted in any Sanctuaries until Caspian formally agrees that we can. Lily made me sleep on the couch for a week when she came back from Kyirong. The only reason it did not last longer was because she and Harry could still take refuge there. Caspian is such a pain.
I have to admit that as an Auror, I would not trust myself on Sanctuary's grounds either.

I'm still shocked that Caspian proposed to solve the problem of the Goblins' punishment by nominating Lily Head of House after Father.
Sirius thinks it's a ploy so that Caspian can try to manipulate her to gain access to the Potters' connections. I think he simply enjoys playing games with us, as a revenge for our days in Hogwarts. But he has a point in that Lily does possess many qualities befitting a Head of House, though I already hear the uproar if my muggleborn wife were to become Head of House instead of myself. And she lacks the understanding of many of our customs, traditions and laws, though Sirius and I could teach her. Father has already asked for her assistance in a few matters. I don't know if he is really considering the possibility of making her his heir.

It stung at first, the idea of never becoming the Head of House Potter. Yet, I really enjoy being an Auror, and I would be loath to give up my job for boring House meetings and business. I know the Head of House is the protector of the House, but I've never seen Father fight. He has never needed to do so, and I know it's a good thing. But I would rather pursue Dark Wizards and help keep the peace in our world. How Frank manages both his Auror job and his Head of House business is a mystery.

Anyway, even if Lily never becomes the heiress of House Potter, she is still ignorant of too many vital rules that I can teach her. It would also be the occasion to spend more time with Moony and Wormtail. The both of them have complained they don't know as much as Sirius and I do about Wizarding laws and Oaths. I just need to find time when all of us are free. It's not easy with all our different work assignments for the Order. Peter and Remus are both working on countering the Death Eaters' outreach to the various magical creatures. We have come into the fight late, but even if they are not gaining allies, they say they have found informants, though some of them don't seem trustworthy.
Remus has made new friends in Kyirong. They came there after their Pack's leader disappeared. Rumour is that their leader was killed after an encounter with Lord Voldemort. From what Remus told me, the guy was bad news so Voldemort actually did us a favour for once. However, it makes it harder to make that slimy Slytherin the bad guy in the eyes of the other Werewolves.

I'm glad Peter is staying with Remus. I worried that Moony would start identifying too much with the other Werewolves and that he would decide to remain with one of the Packs, or worse, that he would change sides and support Lord Voldemort. But he keeps telling us that we are his Pack and I believe him. I wonder if I should speak with Father about the possibility of making Moony and Peter official allies, or even adopting them into House Potter. It's only logical for our strong friendship Bond to be reflected by a magical one as well.
I'm so grateful the Marauders are stronger than ever. I know we will need each other to win this fight.

PS: I think you all recognised him, POV James Potter