Sorry for the delay.

XIV

What was Sirius doing? Kakashi felt despair, as he felt his life drain out of him. Not because he was afraid for himself. He was a shinobi raised in war, and any shinobi like him expected to die in the most violent way. Of course, he hadn't expected to die in a country far away, a whole different world where they didn't even speak his language, on a mission that he set himself, rather than Konoha giving it to him. But it was still the kind of death, he had long accepted. Cleaved almost in half, and still, his injury was less severe—he was sure—than Obito's had been.

Though, it seemed that he lost blood much quicker. Even Sirius' teary-eyed attempts to stop the blood flow with frantic Episkeys, didn't seem to help much.

"Episkey! Episkey!"

The long black hair formed a veil dropping down on Kakashi's belly, making it impossible to see Sirius' face.

"Episkey!"

He didn't think he ever heard Sirius quite so desperate and afraid, not even in the cells of the Ministry of Magic, nor when he tried to strangle Kakashi after he first found out who the shaggy dog that he found at the coast really was.

What are you so afraid of? Kakashi wondered. Why are you so desperate?

Kakashi wasn't afraid. He was prepared to die, and there were much worse ways to die, he thought. Though he wasn't sure if there were more painful ones. Even having his eye transplanted without any anesthetic hadn't been this painful. Yet, Kakashi didn't cry. Shinobi didn't cry, and there was nothing to cry about anyway.

"Episkey." Sirius' whole frame was shaking.

Why are you trying so hard?

Sirius was breathing so fast and loud, Kakashi feared he'd hyperventilate. That couldn't happen. Though he didn't understand how the Patronus charm worked, yet, he had figured out that Sirius used it to call for help. It was only a matter of time until they wouldn't be alone anymore. Sirius had to be gone by then.

With flimsy, cold hands, Kakashi reached for Sirius' hand, clamped around the wand. He put shaking fingers around an emaciated wrist. It was only when they touched, that Sirius noticed him and looked up.

Those eyes…

Kakashi was stunned as he recognized the way Sirius' grey eyes burned into him, misty with tears.

Eyes like mine.

Those were the same eyes as the ones in the mirror every time he woke up from the terrors of the night. That was guilt.

The guilt of killing a friend.

Had Rin seen the same despair on his face in the last few seconds of her life when she whispered his name?

"Sirius…"

"Don't talk," Sirius cried. "D—Don't talk. Keep y-your strength."

"You have to run," Kakashi told him, trying to stay his voice, keeping the pain out. "You need to be gone be—before help arrives." He was reasonably sure that he wouldn't survive long enough for help to come, but he could die alone, if necessary, if that was needed to protect Sirius.

"I won't leave you." Sirius shook his head. His whole frame shook from suppressed sobs. "You won't die. Pl—Please don't die!"

"I'm sorry," Kakashi whispered. If this was their last chance, he wanted to say at least that much. "I didn't want to hurt your cousin—or—or your friend." Or Harry…what happened to Harry? Was that my fault too?

"You have nothing to apologize for," Sirius whispered. "I—I—" with soft power he pulled his wrist free of Kakashi's flimsy grip. "Episkey…" He shook his head in despair. "You were—You are the on—the only one—"

But he didn't finish the sentence. Instead, with a loud sniff he wiped tears and snot from his face, shoulders trembling.

Kakashi had never been on this side before. On the side of the comrade dying. But he'd been on Sirius' side often. For that matter, though he was initially okay with dying to protect him, he realized suddenly, that it would be a cruel thing for him to die here. He wanted Sirius to be happy, to have a bright future with Harry and whatever other friends he might find, not to be forever haunted by the death of some worthless scum.

He wasn't worth such tears, he thought. He didn't want Sirius to cry. So, he found some of the last chakra he had and formed a well-known sign. Sirius retreated in shock, when lightning danced over Kakashi's skin, as the bright light flickered over the open wound.

The stench of his own burnt flesh was disgusting and the agony of burning bone and organs was worse than the cut itself. Kakashi grunted and moaned, unable to suppress the sounds completely. The way Sirius held a sleeve up to his nose, he too could smell it. The whole area would reek of Kakashi's burnt skin. But at least the blood flow finally seized.

Kakashi knew it would only be a flimsy patch. He was still very much dying, but at least that way he had a bit more time.

"Please, go," he begged. "Sirius, go!"

"What did you do?" Sirius came closer again, eyeing the ugly edges of the wound. "You burnt it. It stopped bleeding. Merlin!" When he looked at Kakashi there was both fragile hope and shocked horror on his face.

"Go!"

But Sirius didn't move. He remained at Kakashi's side all the way until there was the telltale sign of another Apparition. Kakashi wouldn't give up so easily though. If Sirius didn't want to go, Kakashi would vanish him himself. No way would he allow a friend to get captured to protect him.

"Please go…" he whispered one last time, when a familiar silhouette appeared next to him, feeling the last of his chakra drain out at the activation of a Genjutsu.

Sirius didn't remember feeling so afraid ever in his life. He had found his best friends' bodies in their own home, and yet even then, even that worst of all pains was something else entirely to watching the boy die in front of him because of a mistake Sirius made, fleeing from Dementors that were only there in the first place because of him.

The boy…a teenager who had given him as close to a home as he had in so many years, who had fed him and believed in his innocence without demanding proof that Sirius couldn't supply… The first human who had given Sirius a shred of his own dignity back, a dream of what life might have been. He couldn't let him die.

Truthfully, he couldn't even move. Even when Kakashi begged him to, and when Sirius knew that nothing, he could do would still do him any good, Sirius couldn't move. The moment the bleeding finally stopped—burnt away by cruel white lightning—relief made Sirius' knees weak, even as fear still constricted his throat.

For a few terrible, endlessly long minutes, he had regretted it all. Fleeing from Azkaban, meeting Kakashi in the first place, surviving his way here. None of it was worth Kakashi's life. If he had died long ago on the road, none of this would've happened…If the boy ratted him out to the authorities as they first met, if he let him starve from the start or if they never met in the first place…if he drowned in the North Sea or never made it through the bars… If he could, Sirius would go back in time and change it all, so that they could change fate, to a different outcome. Any outcome which meant, that Kakashi could live. If it meant that Sirius would be dead having never met him, it was a prize he was happy to pay.

Instead, here he sat. Useless, weak, and trembling like a leaf, about to fall apart completely. He knew, even with the wounds closed, for now, Kakashi would still die, but there was nothing he could think of doing. Useless…useless! He never felt so useless.

For twelve years he had blamed himself for James and Lily's death by virtue of being the one to put Peter into the position to commit his betrayal. But when they died, Sirius had been many miles away, not knowing a thing.

But this…this was entirely his fault. This guilt was on him alone. And if the Dementors caught him again, he knew he wouldn't get away from them a second time. Because whatever he was, he wasn't innocent anymore. He had killed the boy. As good as killed the boy.

He had to survive.

Please! Please!

Bang!

Sirius' head snapped up.

So much time had passed, it felt like an eternity, as if he sent his Patronus hours ago, and yet it could've only been minutes, or Kakashi would already be dead by the time Moony appeared.

He had changed in twelve years. The last time Sirius saw him was long before he went to Azkaban when James and Lily were still alive, and Sirius silently suspected him of being the traitor. How stupid he had been…

Moony was older now. Somehow, though Sirius had aged thirty years during his time in Azkaban, in his mind, Moony hadn't aged. But this man wasn't the same war-weary, tired 20-year-old man he remembered. Even as children, Moony always looked older than the rest of them, more tired of the world. He looked at least forty now. Still, he would seem younger than Sirius.

Pale skin with lines on his face. He seemed sicker than he usually did a week after a full moon, from what Sirius remembered. His light brown hair was peppered with silvery grey. Though there were bags under his eyes, he held his shoulders tense, wary distrust in the pinch of his lips.

"Moony," Sirius whispered. There was no reaction. "Thank Merlin, you came! Kakashi—the boy. You have to help the boy."

Moony didn't even look at him. With waving robes, he marched the few steps that separated him from Kakashi, glaring down at the injured body.

"Where is he?" The glowing tip of a wand pointed at Kakashi.

Sirius flinched. "What are you doing? You need to help him, please!" He stretched his hands out. "Take me in if you need to. Just please—"

"Where is Black?" The wand trembled slightly as Moony's eyes for the first time traveled down the injured child, widening a little at the rugged edges of the splinching. "I know he's here. That was his voice I heard through the Patronus!" He turned back to Kakashi's face, wand still not moving away, but he seemed more uncertain now.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius yelled. "I'm here!" But Moony never looked at him.

"He's gone," Kakashi whispered.

It was only then, that Sirius understood. This was some deception. One of Kakashi's techniques, that made Moony unable to see him. "What did you do?"

"He ran away a while ago, I doubt you'll find him," Kakashi lied through clenched teeth. The effort of speaking made him cough up blood.

Moony's resolve to question him, wavered a bit. "Hominem Revelio!" His brows furrowed. "What trickery is this? I know he's here. What Dark Magic is this?"

"Remus!" Sirius screamed. Why wasn't he helping? Was Sirius not the only one who had fallen to madness in these last years? The Moony he remembered wouldn't hesitate to help a child.

"Gah!" Kakashi coughed up blood. When he spoke, it gurgled in the back of his throat. "You won't find him. He's gone."

Moony looked angry, rage burning in dark green eyes. Sirius never saw him so angry, hateful even. "I know he's here!" But Moony's voice was doubtful. "It's Dark Magic. It has to be, right? That's how he got away, that's how he got into Hogwarts!" Finally…Finally, his wand shifted away from Kakashi's face. Remus whispered a series of spells under his breath. With burning relief, Sirius watched some of the blood wash away, some of the jagged edges of the wound smooth and stitch together, but it was a terribly slow process. "How are you connected to him?" Remus asked as he put another spell on top of his first.

Kakashi didn't answer. For a fearful moment, Sirius feared he might have died. Crawling on his hands and knees, he settled next to Kakashi's head. The boy was breathing so shallowly, that it was a surprise to find him still awake. Yet, when a single tired grey eye settled on Sirius, it seemed completely clear. There was pain there, in the tightness of his jaw, but the eye was bright and wise beyond his years.

When lips moved, no sound came out, but Sirius didn't need to hear his voice to be able to read his lips. The same words he'd said before, so many times. Please go. Run!

"I'm sorry," Sirius cried. "I'm so sorry! Don't die. Please, you can't die." But he knew, there was no point lingering around, with Moony already helping. In fact, Sirius made it worse, as Kakashi was clearly wasting energy on protecting him. Even after the way he had treated him in London... Even after almost ripping him in half through his uncontrolled magic… Even still, Kakashi protected him. Sirius only made it harder on him, lingering around, and there was no way he could make Kakashi stop.

It was a frightening realization, that this boy would die protecting him, hiding his presence even with his last breath. It was something Sirius had always believed he'd be willing to do for his friends, too, but it was quite something else to watch it happen.

Trembling, feeling weak and helpless, he staggered to his feet.

"You tried to apparate from school grounds?" Moony asked just as Sirius turned and stumbled away. Behind him, Remus lifted Kakashi with a levitation spell and sent him hurriedly down the hill towards the houses of Hogsmeade.

Knowing, that he'd left Kakashi like that, that even after everything, he turned his back on him, made Sirius feel like the worst coward, though he knew it was Kakashi's wish.

And then, just before he turned into his Animagus to run before Moony could send a search party for him, he realized, that he still had Kakashi's wand.

Remus was furious when he arrived at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade. As any late Saturday evening, the pub was filled with the people of the village, witches and wizards sitting on round tables eating and drinking, singing and some dancing. The chatter was so loud, he could hear it out on the streets. Remus was used to visiting this pub on Hogwarts' Hogsmeade weekends when most guests would be students filling it to the last seat. This crowd wasn't quite so familiar, but there was still the same woman at the bar, taking orders.

Many heads turned to him, when he kicked the door open, to levitate the unconscious boy inside. "I need to use your chimney," he called out as soon as he was inside, for the first time cursing the wards that prevented him from apparating with the boy right to the Hospital Wing.

It was probably better that way. Kakashi had splinched badly. There was no telling if he'd survive a second Apparition. At first sight, Remus hadn't seen how bad the wound was. The bleeding had mostly seized by the time he arrived, it had been very dark, and Kakashi had both hands over his abdomen, covering the wound edges. If Remus had seen right away, he wouldn't have hesitated so long to help him.

At least, that's what he told himself. A student's health would always be more important than recapturing a killer, he knew, and yet, when he arrived, his thoughts were fully focused on the first chance he'd seen at capturing Black.

Though he hadn't recognized the Patronus, nor the hoarse, aged voice that had spoken to him through the spell, there was only one person still alive who knew his nickname: Moony. How dare Black still call him that! But that way, Remus had recognized him immediately.

"Help me, Moony. Please! Save the boy!"

Panicked, Remus of course thought, he was talking about Harry. Some nefarious game, that Black was playing. A cruel joke, asking Remus to try and save the boy from him. The fact that he was able to use a Patronus spell meant he had a wand, so when Remus followed it out of school grounds and then apparated to the small hill behind Hogsmeade, Remus had been prepared to face off against Black, wand at the ready to duel his old friend for Harry's safety.

He ended up finding neither Black nor Harry, but instead a gravely injured Kakashi. And to his own shame, at that moment, helping Kakashi had been the least of his concerns. Now, he was mortified by the realization that his hesitation might have well led to Kakashi's death. Whether he had fallen for Black's false charm or had been forced to work with him, or was even manipulated by Voldemort himself years ago, in any case, Kakashi was just a child who didn't deserve such a fate.

And yet, knowing that Black was still close, hiding under some dark magical spell, Remus had wasted vital seconds before helping Kakashi.

"What happened?" A man exclaimed when he ducked so Remus could levitate the boy over his head and settle the blood-soaked figure on one of the tables. "Is that a Hogwarts student!?"

Somebody screamed in shock at the horrific injury.

"Somebody call Madam Pomfrey in Hogwarts!" Remus bellowed into the cacophony of questions and screams of shock. "Please hurry!"

Madam Rosmerta had already worked here when Remus was still a student. Even fifteen years later, she still looked the same. At once, when Remus gave his command, she threw a hand full of flu powder into her chimney. The inside of the pub was illuminated by surging green flames, then they went back to orange, light dimming, fire calming back to a glowing simmer. It was that flash of green light which seemed to call the other witches and wizards to order. Two of the people who'd been sitting on the table where he put Kakashi down, and who had only jumped up in shock so far, now ran to the bar to get big cups of water to clean the blood away from the open edges of the gaping wound. Somebody else checked Kakashi's pulse and a short and stout witch with a pointy hat almost as tall as her, shoved everybody else aside, proclaiming she knew a bit about healing magic.

Remus didn't know her and had no idea if he could trust her, but if she knew the first thing about proper healing, she'd be better suited to help Kakashi than he himself, so he let her do her thing, even as he had no idea what she was doing.

He sighed in relief when the green flames flared up again, and Madam Pomfrey practically jumped over the counter to get to her patient. She had a small chest with her, plopped it on the table next to Kakashi's head, and then she practically kicked everybody else out of the room. Remus was only too happy to leave.

While most of the patrons just walked home, he stayed just outside the bar, walking tight circles into the mud covering the street, rain drizzling cold on his uncovered head. Finally, the door opened again, the light fell outside, and Remus ducked back into the Three Broomsticks where only Madams Pomfrey and Rosmerta sat, quietly sharing a hot cup of tea before Rosmerta offered him one as well.

Kakashi was resting on the same table, where Remus had left him. His shirt and cloak were stripped off him, leaving his torso bare, giving the full gruesome sight of the healing wound. With Madam Pomfrey's expertise, the injury quickly stitched itself back together, right in front of his eyes, leaving a dark red cut on pallid skin.

"How is he doing?" he asked as he accepted his tea.

"He has lost a lot of blood," Madam Pomfrey answered in a dreadfully quiet tone. "Even with my blood-replenishing potions, he will be out for a while. Splinchings are a serious matter," she added, "especially in such bad cases. He'll suffer extreme pain for a few more days, so it's probably for the better if he remains unconscious a bit longer. If possible, I want to send him to St. Mungos."

Even though her diagnosis seemed hopeful, almost certain that Kakashi would make a full recovery, her tone was enough for Remus to take the message with a grain of salt. Madam Pomfrey sounded both exhausted and subdued as if she just came terribly close to losing one of her proteges.

"Would you tell us what happened?" she asked.

Remus nodded. He sat close to Kakashi, where he could have an eye on his steadily rising and falling chest. Curiously, he wondered, why Madam Pomfrey had come alone. Surely, with a student so badly injured, it would be best to call at least his head of house if not the headmaster himself. But neither Professor Sprout nor Dumbledore was here.

"A splinching," Remus said uselessly. His eyes found a red mark on Kakashi's upper arm. He thought it was blood at first, then realized that it was a tattoo. A spiraling red line, that drew him in, entrancing and calming him down. Madam Pomfrey raised both brows at him. "I found him—"

He hesitated. It was now or never. He hadn't told anybody about what he knew about Black's Animagus, even when Black invaded the castle. He kept the knowledge to himself, because he'd been too ashamed, and because he didn't want him to suffer the Dementor's Kiss. But now…

Black had called him. He could already hear Snape's accusations. "See! He and Black still work together. He covered for him all that time and Black called him when he was in need." The fact that Remus had saved Kakashi wouldn't be a deterrent for Snape. The Potions Master already believed Kakashi to be Black's accomplice. "The werewolf can't be trusted."

"I found him that way," Remus said, feeling his throat constrict in shame. He was incredibly glad that Dumbledore wasn't here now. It was easier lying to the nurse than it would be to his old friend. A man who trusted him, who gave him a job when nobody would.

Madam Pomfrey looked suspicious. "You just found him this way? Where?"

"Up the hill," Remus said, "behind the village." He knew his story wasn't believable. Madam Pomfrey knew as well as him, that he'd spent most of the week rolled up in his bed, recovering from the last full moon. Maybe he could convince her that he went on an evening stroll…But the weather wasn't the most inviting for such a trip and the coincidence at finding Kakashi would be too big. "He sent out a distress signal," he added quickly, "red sparks." Red sparks were a universal SOS signal. He didn't know if Kakashi knew that or knew how to produce such sparks after only a few months in Hogwarts, but he was a smart boy, and he thought the lie was believable.

"I see," Madam Pomfrey drained the last of her tea before she stood to check on her patient again.

Glad she didn't question his story further, Remus tried to change the topic. "Why haven't you called Professor Sprout yet? Or the headmaster?" They should be informed, Remus thought.

"They have their hands full," Madam Pomfrey sighed. "In fact, I need to get back to the castle soon, as well. You haven't heard about the Dementors yet?"

Remus paled. "Dementors?" On his way out of the castle, he'd seen them but hadn't paid much attention to them.

"Something attracted them to the game." She shook her head with a disapproving furrow between her brows. "I told Albus for weeks, that Dementors have no place in a school. I have dozens of shocked patients that need my attention, and now this…" She waved at Kakashi. "He must have run away from those creatures," she reasoned. "Tried to apparate out of the wards, that would explain these injuries. I haven't seen such a bad splinching all my life. He's lucky you found him so fast." She frowned. "And that he was still able to send out those sparks. Was he conscious when you found him?"

Remus wanted to lie at first, but then he figured that at least regarding Kakashi's physical state he should be honest. The information might be important for healing him effectively. "Yes. Just barely."

"Did you start healing his wound?"

Remus swallowed. "Yes." He wanted to leave it at that, but she waited patiently for more information. "I used some rudimentary healing spells that I could think of," he shrugged, "and a stasis spell."

"And you cauterized his wound with fire?"

Remus shrugged. He didn't think he'd done that, but truthfully, he didn't completely remember what he'd used to help Kakashi. "I think, when I arrived, the worst of his bleeding had already stopped."

Madam Pomfrey looked doubtful. "In any case, the boy's lucky you were there. He would've died a long time ago if it weren't for that fast help. Some immediate Episkeys to close the open arteries and a rather crude cauterization." She plopped with her lips, then she sent him a genuine smile. "I normally preach that people wait for me to help them, but in this case, your quick thinking was vital. Well done!"

When Remus smiled back, it felt wobbly and dishonest on his lips. He didn't remember cauterizing any wounds nor using any number or Episkeys. Black must have done that. It was curious. Remus thought Black was using Kakashi the way a Death Eater would use a helpless teenage boy to get to Harry. But what Madam Pomfrey said and the fact that Black had called for help, running at least a small risk at getting captured, suggested that he genuinely cared for Kakashi. Who were they to each other? Or did Black simply act out of convenience? Maybe Kakashi was the only ally he had, and as such, important to Black. Remus couldn't believe that a person such as Black, who had betrayed all his friends, killed those closest to him, would care so much for a boy he could've only known for a few months at best. Then again, he had left Kakashi alone. If he truly cared, Remus was sure, he would've stuck around.

"I need your help to get him to Hogwarts." Madam Pomfrey checked Kakashi's heartbeat again. "He's stable, but I don't trust the wound not to break open with any attempt at magical travel. Could you levitate him to Hogwarts for me?" She pulled her own wand. "I will use some spells myself, to keep him stabilized for the transport."

"Of course, Poppy."