Unto the Universe

Chapter Fifty-Two: Torn in Twain: Farewells

By Lumendea

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any spinoff material, and I gain no income from this story, just the satisfaction of playing with the characters.

….

The Doctor didn't have long to ponder what they'd learned and debate it before Alistair found him. No surprise that. He was poking around the room that had once been his lab, eying the younger TARDIS of his younger self with both nostalgia and nervousness. Even a year ago, he might have slipped inside to grab repair parts, but thankfully his Old Girl was starting to properly recover from the Time War.

"Doctor," Alistair greeted calmly. "Taylor briefed me on what you found."

"Unpleasant, isn't it."

"Indeed." Alistair sighed and wandered closer to his TARDIS, eying the box with more fondness than Alistair would likely ever admit to. "So this source of these rips is in our era?" Alistair was frowning darkly and did not look impressed. "How soon?"

"Couldn't get that good a reading. There's a window within the next year," the Doctor answered. "And I can't say what will trigger it."

"Is there any good news?" Alistair rubbed his eyes. "Anything that we can do?"

The Doctor considered that question for a moment, trying the options over in his head. Whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be simple or pleasant. He held back a shiver. Dread welled up in him, almost as bad as it had been during the Time War. A desperate fear of something happening to Earth taunted him. Gallifrey, for all of his mixed feelings and poor history on the planet, had been agony, and Earth would likely hurt just as much if not more if he lost it before its time.

"I don't think so, Alistair," the Doctor finally said. "Time is being ripped. There are very few forces that could manage something of that scale." The words were ash on his tongue as he considered the options. "Best not to have UNIT trying to be in the middle."

"Then what? We just wait?" Frustration rolled off Alistair. "Will you stay on Earth to watch for it?"

"No." The Doctor shook his head. "Eye of the storm principal. Staying on Earth would put me too close. I'm more likely to have luck detecting it from off-world."

"I don't like this." Alistair paced across his office. "You have theories, Doctor. I can tell."

He did, but none of it made sense. "I'm not sure. It's dangerous. Having the TARDIS close by whenever it happens could make everything worse, but as soon as we can make it, we'll be back," he promised.

Alistair didn't look very reassured. The Doctor didn't blame him. Part of him wanted to stay on Earth and keep an eye out, but that would dull his senses as part of events. And depending on what was causing it, the TARDIS could be damaged and make it even worse. He was missing something. This was probably the work of Eternals, or the Monk, or the Master.

"The Master is alive," he offered. "New body, but same attitude."

"Oh, that's just…." Alistair groaned. "This might be his fault then."

"Might be. Might be other things. I don't like it either, Alistair, but all we can do is wait and see what happens."

"Lovely," Alistair replied drily. But he nodded his understanding to the Doctor. "I'll hold you to your promise to return."

"Don't I always?"

"No, you don't." Alistair shook his head. "But usually."

That was fair if one took into account fixed points, but the Doctor wasn't going to bring those up. Instead, he shrugged and nodded. Still, there were a couple of things he could do.

"Come inside the TARDIS," the Doctor said. "The Master and another rogue called the Monk were close to the TARDIS, so I have visuals. Might as well put those cameras you humans fill the planet with to good use."

"I don't need to step inside your crazy machine for that."

The Doctor rolled his eyes but opened the TARDIS and stepped inside. Alistair lingered in the doorway as the Doctor activated the archive system. It only took a couple of moments for the TARDIS to download short videos of the Monk and the Master to Alistair's phone. He knew Alistair had it when the man huffed and grumbled about the Master and that 'foul beard' of his.

"Wouldn't shock me at all if he's behind it," Alistair muttered. "Usually was."

"He does have a nasty tendency to cause trouble."

Alistair paused and studied the Doctor. "How are you doing, Doctor? With him being alive still?"

"It's… something." The Doctor shrugged. "Rose helped the loneliness after. Can't rely on him, or the Monk for that matter, for anything. It's nice to not be the only one left, but depending on what they do…" the Doctor trailed off.

He didn't want to have them dead. He hated the idea of being the only Time Lord again, but depending on what was going to happen, there might not be many options. Both were insane and destructive. And the Doctor didn't like that they knew about who Rose was, both to him and to the universe.

"I see," Alistair replied gently. "If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me."

The Doctor acknowledged the offer with a nod. He might manage to take him up on that. Rose was wonderful. He loved her, but Rose had never been through a war. There were some things that couldn't be understood outside of that context.

"Well, I best call Geneva," Alistair sighed. "You take care of yourself and Rose in the meantime."

"No concerns about Jack?"

Alistair paused, a ghost of a smile on his face. "My experience with Jack Harkness, past, present, and future, is that he is a cat with nine lives. Maybe even more so than you."

The Doctor held back a sigh. Why were his current companions so complicated? Then again, it made sense that Alistair had met Jack if Jack was going to someday spend time in this era protecting Rose when she was young. The Doctor and his friend both chuckled and exchanged goodbyes, with Alistair already studying the footage on his phone. The Doctor wasn't really a fan of the surveillance levels of this era, but if it allowed UNIT to find the Master or Monk whenever things started going bad, then it would be worth it.

Jack entered the TARDIS just after Alistair left, leading the Doctor to suspect that he'd been lingering outside. The Doctor immediately noted that Rose wasn't with him. She was probably with his past self, and the Doctor was definitely not jealous of that.

"This is a mess," Jack murmured. "Within a year?"

"Provided the readings were correct, yes."

"I could stay on Earth," Jack offered seriously. "Be ready to help UNIT and alert you." Jack's expression was very serious. "You're worried about having Rose here when whatever is going to happen happens, aren't you?"

"She's a Guardian. There's no telling what her being injured in a temporal tearing could lead to." The Doctor rubbed his eyes tiredly. "And the TARDIS connects to the Time Vortex, so her being damaged is dangerous too. I know when something is going to happen, but not what is going to happen. I don't know if it's the other Time Lords, the Eternals or something else. So much has shifted in the universe after the Time War. And there's now a Gold Guardian again."

"The fact that it's in this era on Earth makes me wonder if they're after Rose," Jack confessed. "I know she's the best at fighting the neverweres, but there's a limit."

"Maybe." The Doctor didn't like that idea, but Jack had a point. The Eternals had done a lot of damage trying to prevent Rose from rising to her current rank. "She's the Guardian now, but Rose doesn't have control over her powers. I suppose someone still might want to try against her." The Doctor shook his head. "And no, you'll stay with us. If this is an attack on Rose, then it's best that you're with her."

Jack nodded seriously. The Doctor hated that. Jack couldn't die and knew it, so the Doctor was certain that Jack would throw himself in front of Rose if needed. Worse yet, the Doctor was grateful for that. Holding back a sigh, he headed for the TARDIS to wait for Rose. Then again, Sharon and Shareen had established their claim on her evening. He might be serving as a taxi back to London. Jack clapped him on the shoulder for a moment and headed deeper into the TARDIS, muttering something about a shower while the Doctor listened to his fading footfalls.

…..

The younger Doctor's nose wrinkled as he stepped into the TARDIS console room of his personal future, but he stayed silent. This was… well, he didn't like it, but he had more pressing concerns. Alistair had met him in the hallway and said his goodbye for now with his usual amusement. It really was a shame that he couldn't be allowed to remember these events. Today had certainly been interesting, and now here was his beloved TARDIS looking very worse for wear.

"Don't start," his elder self said sharply. "What are you doing here? Situation resolved."

"Oh, Peri and I will be departing soon," the younger Doctor promised. He frowned. "Rose is speaking with her friends and Malcolm. I believe trying to reassure them that she'll be alright." He paused and released a sigh. "It doesn't look good for your future, our future. Can you keep her safe?" he asked.

His older counterpart gave him a withering look. "Rose doesn't worry about staying safe. She tends to run towards trouble." He huffed, the sound a mixture of fondness, worry, and exasperation. "I'll do everything I can to keep her safe, though. You… well, you know what she is to me."

"Indeed." He walked forward, weighing all the questions on his mind.

"Don't ask," came the sharp warning of his older self.

"You can hardly blame me for being curious," the Doctor scolded his elder self. "It's hardly a secret here at UNIT that you're involved with a human. I simply wanted to know what sort of human would bring us to such a point."

"Such a point-"

"I'm not seeking to insult her!" The Doctor snapped quickly, feeling the fight brewing. For once, he just wasn't interested in it. Not with the knowledge that the crack they'd only just closed was only one of many, and something horrible was coming. And, oddly, he couldn't help but remember Rose's understanding of his fighting and how it bothered her. Maybe, just maybe, this once, he could try to be a bit more… kind to himself. That was an unsettling idea, and that probably said a lot about him. Things that he wasn't going to try to unpack today. That could be a project for a future self. "She's very lovely," he added. "I may not understand it being where we are right now, but… she is lovely."

It was true. Her affection, her love for the Doctor, was so honest and real that he felt… well, this was different, and he knew it. That scared him, but the Doctor could admit that this relationship with Rose was clearly something special to them. They'd had brief affairs a few times over the centuries but always maintained some level of distance and kept their secrets. And never with someone, they travelled with full time. He had the distressing feeling that his future self didn't have much in the way of secrets to Rose. And that bothered him on another level. Who were they that the idea of letting someone in was so terrifying?

Then again, it was so easy to imagine the future of this relationship. Rose would grow old and pass on, leaving him alone. He hoped that was how it would end rather than with her running out of the TARDIS traumatized or dying in an adventure gone wrong. Alistair said there were children. He wasn't sure how that was possible, but at least there would still be something of her in their lives after her. That would be something. Hopefully, it would be enough. Because he'd only just met her or met her properly at least, and he disliked the knowledge that he'd need to forget about her. She was lovely, and he would have liked to be able to remember her on their worst days.

"She's lovely," he repeated. "But I'm worried about what's coming. And that you don't truly seem surprised."

"A lot has happened."

That told him nothing and far too much. Shaking his head, he nodded. "Very well. Goodbye, Doctor."

"Goodbye, Doctor," his future self echoed.

He stepped back out of the TARDIS and shut the door behind him. Shaking his head, the Doctor headed for his own TARDIS. His mind was spinning, and a sick feeling was brewing in his stomach. How much had happened to put that dark look in his future self's eyes, even as the man seemed truly happy with Rose Tyler? His ninth body while he was the sixth. That certainly left time for a great deal to change.

"Heading off?"

It was Rose. The Doctor immediately turned and found his future wife leaning against the doorframe.

"I thought you were with your friends?"

"I was, but they knew I wanted to check in with you." She nodded towards the older TARDIS. "Both of you. Today has been a lot."

The Doctor studied her. Despite the strangeness of the day, she didn't seem very tired or worn down. A little perhaps, but her eyes were still bright, and a small smile brightened her features. Rose was watching him with thoughtful and kind eyes. It was a wonder that his future self didn't simply want to stare into them all the time. Their amber shade was very interesting with all those flecks of gold.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked softly. "And please don't just say you're always fine."

"Is that something I'll do?"

"I'm fairly certain that it's already something you do." Rose walked closer, tilting her head as she inspected him. "You're upset."

"I can't help but be very concerned about your safety," the Doctor admitted. "Something is coming, and it seems to me that I should report this to Gallifrey."

Rose grimaced. "It's not that simple, I'm afraid." She inhaled slowly and braced herself. "I'm the Gold Guardian," Rose explained softly. "One more reason why you need to forget. I don't think I'd ever be safe if the Time Lords learned about me in your time."

For an instant, everything and nothing made sense. The gold in her eyes glittered in the artificial lights. She said it, well, not easily, but without fear. The Doctor certainly believed her, even if the notion of it left him in shock. Still, he nodded at her words and did his best to process them quickly. Today, time was not on his side, and he couldn't linger much longer.

Old memories clanged at the back of his mind, but he kept them locked up. He wished his older counterpart was with them so he could receive verification, but the Doctor was very sure that one of them would finally have to deal with those memories. At least it wasn't him. He certainly wasn't ready to confront that.

Though, a Guardian… that was a ridiculous thing. When Braxtiel found out that he was involved with a Guardian, he would be utterly shocked and might even show it. His family would gleefully approve of such a match, and wasn't that a terrible thought. But it also meant that Rose Tyler wasn't going to wither and die as he'd feared. She'd exist longer than they would. He tried to think of something to say, but his blasted brain just didn't want to function properly. The Doctor opened his mouth, trying to form some kind of response. It didn't work. Struck silent twice in one day.

"It was very nice to spend some time with this you," Rose said gently, mercifully changing the subject.

Yes, that was safe. Safe, but also painful in an unexpected way. The Doctor did tend to become fond of people fast. He studied her face, the curve of her cheek, the tilt of her smile, and the spark in her eyes. The Doctor held back a sigh. There was no point in mulling it over. He'd meet her one day.

"I look forward to meeting you," the Doctor said gently, smiling at the woman before him. "And telling you my true name."

"Doctor is your truest name," Rose answered, and her words pleased him. She offered him a brief tongue-touched smile that brightened his mood. "But I am honoured to know the first name you carried."

The Doctor fought to keep his features neutral. His eyes stung, and he dropped his mental shield a little more so he could bask in the affection pouring out of Rose. Already he hated the notion of locking up these memories, but it was safest. They still had a way to go before they would meet Rose Tyler. Then she leaned forward and kissed his cheek again.

"Take care of yourself," Rose said.

She started to step back, and the Doctor made an impulsive decision. Pressing his lips against hers, the Doctor embraced the sheer warmth flooding his system. It would be over in moments, and he'd forget. But eventually, he'd remember. Better to give that grim man something to be jealous about. Such thoughts faded for the few glorious moments that he was kissing Rose Tyler and feeling his future with her echo back to him. He'd be very happy. Suspiciously so, but he'd be happy. Stepping back, he was pleased to note a slight flush on the face of his future wife.

"I love you," Rose murmured softly. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Until next time, Doctor." Her smile widened as she said the words, and the Doctor had the impression it was some sort of inside joke. He'd understand it one day.

"Be careful," he pleaded. "I don't think he can lose you."

A shadow passed over her face, and Rose shook her head. Stepping over to the older TARDIS, she pulled out a key on a chain around her neck. The Doctor remained where he was, watching her vanish into the ship while trying not to think about her reaction to his last words. Opening the door to his own TARDIS, he noted that Peri had yet to return. He really should go and find her, but right now, he just wanted to think.

….

Rose was greeted with a soft hum as she entered the TARDIS. Raising her hand, she brushed the fingers of her right hand over the coral wall in return, but most of her focus was on the Doctor. He was leaning against the console with his brooding face on. Worry clung to his shoulders, and Rose quickly approached him.

"Hey," Rose greeted softly.

"Thought you were heading off with your friends," the Doctor said. His tone was neutral. "I don't want to see what Sharon and Shareen might come up with if they think I'm denying them a visit."

Rose's lips twitched into a smile, but she moved closer to him. Jack wasn't in the console room, and Rose was unbearably grateful for that. Leaning against the Doctor's arm, Rose breathed in the smell of leather, grease and time. She loved that smile. His younger self had smelled of Time, but each time he regenerated, the scent he carried changed. Then the Doctor shifted his arm and wrapped it around her instead, drawing her against his chest.

"It'll be okay," he whispered. Lips pressed to the top of her head. "Whatever is coming, we'll deal with it."

But Rose could hear the worry and fear in his voice. He couldn't hide it. Rose wanted to ask if he had suspicions on what it might be. She wasn't sure. An anxious feeling had settled in her stomach, and Rose doubted she'd shake it any time soon. It was definitely bad, whatever it was.

Would he regenerate? Rose closed her eyes tightly and pressed herself closer to the Doctor. She loved him so much. Had for a long time and would for however long she did end up living. And Rose knew that she'd love his next self. That had been the first incarnation that she'd properly accepted loving and told that she loved. But she didn't want to give up this Doctor yet. They'd come so far, and we're happy now. They were together and happy. And the moment he regenerated into his next body, the countdown would start. The moment he was in that body, Rose would have the looming threat of whatever was going to happen to her that much closer. She'd go missing at some point, and he'd turn to her younger self. Eventually, she'd return, but Rose had no idea how long it would take. He'd never told her that, and Rose had known better than to ask. She was scared in a way she hadn't been in a long time. The evitable was creeping forward one way or another.

"Love you," the Doctor murmured into her hair.

"I love you," Rose promised. "Always."

"Even when I wear a technicolour coat?"

She chuckled. "Always."

…..

The door of the TARDIS opened, and the Doctor looked up quickly. He wilted a little when Peri stepped inside and smiled at him. He'd hoped that it was Rose. But they'd said goodbye. She likely was speaking to his future self, or she might already be making plans with her friends. His companion was smiling a little, but it was a warm sort of smile. She was happy for him, and that pleased the Doctor tremendously. But it also presented a danger that needed to be addressed.

"Quite the day, huh, Doctor?" Peri exhaled and shook her head. "Doctor Taylor says that there isn't anything on their instruments to show that rip was ever there."

"No," the Doctor agreed. "There wouldn't be." He paused. "You're alright, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I just tried to stay out of the way," Peri admitted. "And everyone was very nice. I'm just glad no one was hurt."

"Yes, that's nearly a miracle given what we were facing."

"That sword of Rose's helped a lot." Peri was studying him now, and he could see the amusement in her eyes. "Bit weird to think of you as having a girlfriend."

"Well… maybe." The Doctor wasn't sure how to take that. His companions usually seemed to decide that he didn't work that way. And in truth, he usually didn't. He wasn't the sort to be turned by a pretty face, but the Doctor was certainly capable of affection and suspected that his future marriage would develop out of that.

"Are you alright?" Peri asked gently. "You seem… distressed."

"No, Peri, I'm fine. Just thoughtful, not distressed." Straightening up, he offered Peri a small smile. "Due to the strain of this day on the timelines, I won't remember what happened. I'll be aware that I crossed my own timeline, but that's it." He sighed and looked towards the door of the TARDIS. "You must not discuss this with me. Nothing that you saw or heard. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Doctor." Peri nodded. The Doctor doubted that she really understood the situation, but he was grateful for her promise. If nothing else, Peri had picked up how important this was. A good friend indeed, despite what he'd put her through. "You really liked her, didn't you?"

"Rose?" the Doctor's expression softened, and Peri almost laughed. She'd never seen him like that, not even in his last incarnation. "Well, yes, I suppose I did. Do. Will."

"Then I'm happy for you," Peri said. "I won't say anything, Doctor."

"Thank you, Peri."

The Doctor smiled, and as Peri headed off to her room, he started arranging the fresh memories for storage. He wouldn't erase them. Probably should, but even subconscious memories could be valuable. Adjusting the controls of the TARDIS, he said a silent farewell to his future and took his ship into the Time Vortex. Nothing for it but to keep on living.