Oh boy.

OOOHHH BOY.

It was ten to eight.

If it weren't for the fact that his time-keeping device was made of glass, he would've thrown it against his wall in shock. Better yet, he would've got an analogue clock. You know, the ones that actually make a noise when it's time to wake you up, instead of just vibrating.

MC cursed his co-worker for texting him so late at night while clumsily dressing himself with articles of clothing. Oh, the things he would do to him for making him turn his phone on silent so he could watch the frickin movie with his wife.

Did he regret it though? Of course not. Well worth it to watch Yuri's reaction to The Conjuring.

"Honey?! Have you seen my-wha-STOP FILMING!," he exclaimed, noticing the purple rectangle in her hand. It certainly was an interesting start to her day.

Keys? Check. Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Get out, before your boss says 'everything's okay, you're not that late, it's fine' in a completely sincere tone, making you feel bad.

"Bye Hon! Love you! You better delete that video or I'll-"

MC swung open the front door only to be greeted by a sheepish Sayori looking up at him.

"Mornin' MC! Or you'll what?," she chirped.

"Sorry Say-running reaal late!," he exclaimed. "We have leftover thai food in the fridge and a whole sleeve of oreos for you to inhale okay bye!"

"Bye! Don't overwork yourself!"

Sayori skipped inside like she owned the place and didn't think twice to wrap herself around the half-asleep Yuri in her bed.

"S-S-S-Sayori...!," she stuttered, arms locked to her side. "I'm not r-r-ready!"

"Ready? For what?," Sayori asked, looking up at her.

"(I'm k-kinda n-n-naked.)"

A thin, see-through fabric and a bra was all that was between the two girls.

"Nuh uh!," she sang. "I warned you! Eight-o-clock! On the dot! Be there or beware!"

"I-I didn't actually expect you to arrive at eight-o-clock."

"Hmmmm. I'm a changed woman now missy. I have a schedule. How do you like your coffee?"

As hyper as ever. But she does seem like she's changed. More deliberate. Ooh...I would like to have her in my novel.

When Yuri stepped out of the bathroom after her morning shower, Sayori had laid out several plates of Instagram-ready foods on the kitchen counter. There was perfectly toasted French toast, coffee with cocoa powder sprinkled on top, and crisp bacon and steaming scrambled eggs and dear God Yuri was hungry.

It was a sight to see. Sayori's radiant closed-lip smile grew even wider when Yuri's eyes lit up after the first bite of scrambled eggs with toasted mushrooms. She was as proud as a peacock. It was hard to believe she was a honours student.

"Ha ha! Judging by your reaction, I'm guessin' this old girl can cook!," Sayori triumphantly announced, blowing the non-existent smoke off her non-existent finger gun.

"Looks like you've been real busy..!," Yuri laughed through mouthfuls of food. "Now I need to go to your apartment so I can show you my skills."

"Puh-lease. Dinner? Fine, I'll give you that. But no-one can beat me at breakfast-I am the queen of breakfast."

The company was pleasing, to say the least. After they finished their breakfast with a conversation that flowed smoother than the melting butter on Yuri's French toast, they plopped themselves on the couch and began playing a video game together.

"How's your psychology course going Sayori?," Yuri asked, fiddling with her controller. She tried to ignore Sayori laughing when she looked down at the controller to see which buttons to press.

I'm a writer goddamn it.

"Umm...that button over there. Yeah! It's going great! I thought the whole reading assignments would be pretty boring but when you get into it, oh boy. It gets reaaal interesting. I'm reading Nietzsche's 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra' right now and my professors explain it to me like you wouldn't believe."

"Nietzsche?," Yuri repeated back in disbelief. She had tried to read his works but just ended up scratching her head. She didn't want to admit that she felt slightly jealous of the girl. "That's...quite an accomplishment."

"Are you proud of me momma? Maybe I'll read more books than you one day!"

"Uh...you probably already have and will. Considering how dense those books are. I read that it takes an hour to dissect one sentence from his books."

"Definitely feels like it. How's your writing? Can I be a character? Can I get a signed hardcover edition that I definitely won't sell on eBay for a hundred bucks?"

Little sister energy.

"Yeah, if I can even finish it before I turn fifty," Yuri mumbled. From where Sayori was sitting, the woman next to her already looked like a professional writer. Her silky long hair, her glasses, her calm and quiet demeanour. The only thing she was missing was a thin cigarette on the end of a quellazaire. Better get an autograph and a picture quick.

"I'm sure you can!," Sayori encouraged. "After all, you've got MC!"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You don't have to worry about rent!"

Yuri shot her a semi-serious 'are you serious' look. Soon she would be the bread-winner of this household.

"A-And, he rubs your back when you've been sitting for too long...he cooks you delicious food...whispers encouraging words in your ear like its personalized ASMR!"

"Mhm," Yuri playfully hummed, sniffing the air. "Is that...jealously I smell?"

"Of the ASMR? Yes! But of MC? Eww! No way!," she yelped. "No...yeah! No way!"

"I sense hesitance."

"Save it miss writer lady. There's a practicing psychologist sitting right next to you."

"Practicing?"

"Huh? Oh, heh heh...does interning count?," she asked sheepishly.

"What's the difference?," Yuri responded.

"Umm...you don't get to wear a fancy white coat?"

"Right. Then I guess you're qualified to answer some questions about...marriage?"

Sayori paused the game and grabbed both of Yuri's hands. "Yuri...are things not going well?"

"...yeah."

"Oh..it's okay. Most times, if both parties wish to stay together, and devote enough time and effort then-"

"I'm a terrible wife for MC."

Yuri was met with deadpan eyes. "Is. That. So?," Sayori asked suspiciously.

"I didn't realize it until I was in bed, but I...I ate his food-the food that he oh so lovingly made for me...at my desk whilst writing. I should've ate with him. A-And he seemed really excited about bathing me but I didn't even shower that night because I was writing. Although we did watch a movie together but I don't think...I don't think it...I mean he said he was happy that I was writing but...I should've been a better wife."

"Try not to facepalm. Try not to facepalm. Try not to- okay you're facepalming," Sayori thought.

"I mean I tried to be a perfect wife but when I do I end up writing really late into the night and then my drafts end up with incoherent plots and a lot of typos and-"

"...Yuri...," Sayori muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Slap me in the face, would ya'?"

"W-Wha...?"

"Do it. As hard as you can."

"I-I'm not...why? I would hurt you."

"Okay. I'll do it then."

A slap and a half later, Sayori went from one to a hundred.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WOMAN?!," she yelled. "YOU TOLD HIM YOU WERE GOING TO BE A WRITER! HE SAID HE WAS HAPPY YOU WERE WORKING TOWARDS YOUR DREAMS! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN LANGUAGE?! YOU'RE LEGIT ALREADY PERFECT AND THIS ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!"

"G-Guhwa...Sayori I-"

"The clients I see, the ones with actual marriage problems?! They can't stand each other! They could be ten metres apart and they would still be pissy! Do you understand what it would take for them to watch a movie together, let alone sleep in the same bed, cook for each other, and all this other lovey-dovey shit you take granted for?!," Sayori spouted at a rate that would make Eminem jealous.

Yuri bit her tongue, waiting for the storm to die down. Is this what the teenagers she read about experience when they come home at two am?

Sayori sighed like her entire torso was nothing but lungs. "Look. I'm not saying it's wrong to want to improve yourself. That's good. You should keep that mentality until the day you die."

"...I-I feel insufficient."

"Compared to your theoretical housewife / pro-writer who can somehow function without sleep? Sure. But compared to the average married couple? No. No, right now you're doing better than better. Especially considering how happy you make MC, that's for sure," Sayori explained, taking a sip of her coffee.

"He does smile a lot. Cute...," Yuri mumbled.

"You should discuss this with him," Sayori added. "I bet he'll tell you the exact same thing. That you can't be a perfect housewife and a perfect writer and a perfect student at the same time. Why don't you try scheduling if you're so worried?"

"Huh?"

"Scheduling. On Monday, you do your university. On Tuesday, you cook and clean and other wife business. On Wednesday you write, et cetera."

"I'll give it a shot," Yuri nodded. "Considering how its one of the ways it kept you so straight-laced..."

"I know right! I have so much more free time now! And it's not guilty free time too! It's scheduled free time!"

"Oh boy...can you help me set it up?," Yuri asked, standing up to walk towards her computer.

"Can I? Sounds like fun! We'll add mandatory Sayori + MC meetups in there as well!," she chirped, skipping into Yuri's room.

AN: mandatory sayorio chapter nice very well done