"No! You just don't understand!" I yelled as raw emotion tore through me. I was angry. No, I was more than angry. I was furious. The world had taken everything from me, and I'd be damned if I spent another agonizing moment here.
"Then help me understand!" he pleaded as tears threatened to spill from his emerald green eyes.
"For what? Do you think I could just teach you what it felt like to lose someone? Imagine if you fucking lost Lisa!" He recoiled slightly. Perfect. I wanted him gone so I could go through with what I had planned. "That's right. You fucking can't! So, why don't you go on your little fancy date and leave me alone to fucking wallow in pity in peace!"
At first, I couldn't read his face, which came as a shock to me. Since middle school, we had been friends, and after spending so much time around each other, I figured I could read any emotion that crossed his face, but this was different. Slowly, it contorted into a rage that I had never seen.
"YOU KNOW WHAT?! GO FUCK YOURSELF!" he bellowed. His anger caught me by complete surprise. This was the one side of him that I never saw, and to be honest, it hurt that it was being levied against me, but I suppose I deserve it. I didn't want to stick around anymore, so I began to walk away. As I did, he continued his tirade.
"OH! SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO WALK AWAY! YOU ARE A FUCKING COWARD! GROW THE HELL UP!"
I ignored him as I entered my apartment complex. I took a sigh of relief as I entered my building. The worst part was over, and although it sucked having to do that to him, it was necessary. At least, that's what I told myself or what I had to tell myself. Regardless, it was time to get ready, and with that, I trudged up to my room on the third floor.
Upon entering my room, I went into my fridge, took out a beer, and sat on my couch. A belt noose hung off the hook where my TV used to be on the wall. Underneath that was a simple stool I had borrowed from a friend before I cut them off.
I cracked open the can and took a sip. I shivered as the liquid slid down my throat. I hated it, but it was one of the only things that could ease my mind. It was one thing to think about, but it was way different to be staring it in the face. Although, I always knew it would come to this. I didn't have many avenues in life. I was just an orphan no foster parent wanted, so the staff raised me. I loathed being there, but I hated every single potential foster parent who came in there and ignored me.
I took another sip.
After that, I wasted money at college, so I dropped out and worked at a backward gas station. Life was just a fucking bore until I met her. The crown jewel of my life and the thing that saved me from doing this earlier. She meant everything to me, but it seems that everyone has their demons. Maybe a month after we had gotten engaged, I came home from work and… and… I promised her…
I threw the can on the ground, letting its contents spill everywhere. I grabbed the stool, threw it against the wall, and screamed in agony. Anything I could pick up became a projectile as I trashed my room. I calmed down after a few minutes and collapsed to my knees.
It looked as if a tornado had torn through my apartment. Furniture was overturned, papers were scattered, and anything of value was smashed. A foot in front of me, a broken painting laid in ruin. It was a painting I had made with her, and it was one of my last connections to her. I had just ruined it. What has become of me? I curled up in a ball on the floor and began to cry.
I had broken many promises. Too many in the last few weeks. What's one more promise broken? I'm sure she could forgive me when we are back together, right? Would she even accept me anymore? I guess I'll figure that out when I get there.
Wiping tears from my cheek, I stood up and grabbed the stool. I set it up underneath the belt noose and stepped onto the stool. I put my head through the noose and took a deep breath. With one kick, it should be over. Then, there was nothing.
One who is lost shall always be found again.
I could hear my heart thumping in my ear. It was a soft and hypnotizing rhythm that brung me some measure of peace. Behind that thumping, I could faintly hear… talking? I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded by some intense white light.
"Where am I?" I questioned.
"Someplace safe," a voice responded. It was hard to describe the voice. It sounded like a singular voice, but simultaneously, it sounded like every single voice I had ever heard combined into one.
"Who are you?" I demanded.
"I am Arceus, creator of this world," it responded. I nearly burst out laughing until my eyes had finished adjusting. In front of me was the deerlike visage that I recognized as Arceus. I must be dead, and if that is the case, why pokémon?
"Because I chose you," Arceus responded, seemingly reading my thoughts.
"You chose me?"
"Yes indeed. You are important to me. Far more important than you realize."
"Why?" I asked.
"Allow me to show you," Arceus said. The room shifted and changed, molding itself into what looked to be an old castle corridor. It wasn't abandoned as there were torches that lit the wall, but at the same time, there was nobody else there. It was rather uncanny.
"Follow me," Arceus commanded. It led me down the corridor and to what looked like a mural. It had text in a language I couldn't read, but something seemed… off. Some words began to morph and change into things I could understand. I could read destiny, balance, and guardian. I was fixated on the word guardian.
"Guardian?" I spoke aloud as if testing the word.
"That is who you are to be."
"What does that mean?"
"That is for you to discover," it responded.
"And what about everything else? Like, the world and stuff?" I questioned. Arceus simply laughed in response. The world rapidly changed around. Nauseatingly so, to the point where I couldn't stand. I fell over and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I was once again blinded by lights.
"God fucking damn it," I muttered, holding my hand over my eyes, "This needs to stop."
"Are… you okay?" a feminine voice said.
"You're not Arceus," I remarked.
"I sure hope I'm not. I'd make a terrible god," she chuckled.
After my eyes adjusted, I was in a medical room that looked pretty dull. It was the other person who caught my attention. A human woman had jet black hair and some animalistic features. The thing that caught my attention the most was her violet eyes. She wore… very generic clothes that looked to be a size too big. I must've survived then, and I must admit, I am a bit relieved.
"Who are you?"
"Oh, my name is Violet," she smiled.
"That's… fitting," I smiled back. Why did I do that? I don't even know this person.
"Yeah, I guess, but it wouldn't have been my first choice. It's just a stupid family name."
"I still think it fits," I exclaimed again, surprised. What the hell is happening?
To save me from whatever the hell was happening, a serperior slithered into the room. She looked at Violet as if she was surprised to see her. After a short inaudible conversation between the two, the serperior rolled its eyes. It turned its attention to me and studied me. I couldn't help but feel intimidated by its gaze.
"How are you feeling?" It asked in a feminine voice.
"What the hell is actually happening? You're a pokémon! I must be dead. There is absolutely no way I'm alive right now."
They looked at each other and blinked, "Is he alright?" asked Violet.
"I don't think he's exactly come to reality," the serperior remarked.
"Reality? I'm supposed to be dead!" I just about yelled. I wanted to claw myself out of this place. I desperately wanted someone to tell me that this was just a trick of my mind and that I was passing on, but part of me knew that this was real. Perhaps part of me wanted it to be real.
"Alright! Alright! Take a breather! It's going to be okay!" Violet tried to console.
I tried to respond to her, but I couldn't. My lungs just couldn't get enough air. I couldn't string together coherent thoughts either. The booming sound of my heart saw to that. I reached for my pocket and found that I wasn't wearing the same clothing I…
"This… is real… isn't it?" I muttered. "I'm… not… home…."
A pang of guilt tore through me, and it evolved into a rage as it crashed through me. Why didn't she get a second chance? She deserved more than I ever did! Then, that wave finally dissipated, leaving nothing in its wake but emptiness and resignation. Violet went to place a hand on my shoulder, but I gently pushed it away.
"So… what now?" I sighed, keeping firm eye contact with the floor.
"A psych evaluation," the serperior responded. "But, if you need some time, I understand."
"No, I'll be fine," I muttered as I got off the medical table. "Lead the way."
Leaving Violet behind, the serperior led me into a hall dotted with rooms. Medical staff ran in and out of these rooms. Each staff member had a different degree of panic as they rushed from room to room. One doctor, in particular, looked especially ghastly as he walked up to the serperior.
He leaned close to her and whispered, "We've done everything possible, but he's lost too much blood. The best thing to do would be to gather everyone together and… say a few words."
"How much time does he have left?" the serperior asked.
"Maybe a day. Two if we're lucky."
The serperior nodded grimly and then gestured to me to continue following her. I noticed that she had a hollow and guilty look in her eyes. Part of me wanted to press her on it, as I had done for my friends before. Still, I was brought back to reality shortly after that by the crushing reminder that they weren't here and she wasn't my friend.
She led me into another bland room reminiscent of an interrogation room. It had one lone table but lacked the one-way glass wall. Sitting on one side of the table on a bench were two lucario who looked at me expectantly and in wonder.
I took a seat across from them. There was very little that differentiated the two from each other. The only difference I noticed was a streak of silver that ran down the one on the right's snout. Everything else was nearly identical, aside from one being a bit larger than the other, which was something I couldn't say for sure.
"Good evening," the one on the left began. Its voice was deep and gruff, and as far as I could tell, it was a he. "My name is Lucas, and this is my sister Aurora," he gestured to the other lucario.
"Lucas is an odd name for a lucario," I remarked.
Lucas frowned, "I don't think it's odd."
"We weren't old enough for our clan to give us proper names before…." Aurora trailed off. "Well, all you really need to know is that we got it from some helpful humans who took care of us before we ended up here," she said, awkwardly laughing. I made a mental note of that and then tucked it into the back corner of my mind. It's there if I ever need it.
"You have a clan?" I asked.
"Why yes. Most pokémon, at one point in history, belonged to a clan, tribe, or village. We are very proud of that fact," Lucas and Aurora explained.
"Well, that makes the idea of a pokéball much more horrifying," I chuckled. I was hoping that they'd laugh along or show any other emotion. I got a blank stare broken by the occasional look of confusion.
"What's a… pokéball?" Aurora asked.
I sighed, "Well, a pokéball is something humans use to capture pokémon to have as… friends, I guess, and to train them so that they can compete in a league for fame, money, and everything in between." Their looks of horror told me everything that I needed to know about that topic.
"That sounds awful! Who would think of such a thing?" Lucas asked incredulously.
I shrugged, "That's just how they were portrayed back home."
"Ah! That's right! You're from another world! Tell me, what was it like!" Aurora excitedly said. Lucas gave her a chastising look, which caused that excitement to retreat back into her.
"We can handle that later. For now, I'd like to get through our usual band of questions," he spoke in a rather monotone way. "Now, let's begin with your full name."
"My name is Nathan Miller."
"Age?"
"I'm twenty-one."
"Where did you live?"
I paused for a moment, carefully considering how I'd describe home to someone who knows nothing about it. Maybe that would be too complicated. They already know I come from another world, so I'm sure Lucas wouldn't mind if I just avoided the question altogether.
"I come from another world."
Lucas raised a metaphorical eyebrow, "Describe it for us."
"Well, I guess home wasn't too bad. I didn't experience much of it for financial reasons, but the things I saw were… nice… I suppose," I remarked, struggling to recall anything outside the small bubble that had trapped me.
"Financial troubles? Care to elaborate on that?"
"Well, I never had a lot of money, to begin with. Never knew my parents, lived in an orphanage for most of my life, and did a real shit job trying to keep up good grades and maintain a job. I guess I was just dealt an awful hand," I carefully worded things to avoid mentioning… her.
"How did that all make you feel?" Aurora chimed in.
"I guess real shitty. No one wants to worry about food every night before bed or if you can even afford basic amenities," Aurora leaned over to Lucas and whispered a few things to him. He nodded, and they turned their attention back to me.
"How was the last week in your world like?"
I instinctively rubbed my neck, and much to my surprise, there were no signs of damage. Apparently, they noted my surprise and decided to press the case.
"When we first found you, there were some signs of damage to your neck. We already know what happened, so if you feel comfortable, talk to us about it," Aurora said softly.
It suddenly felt like the room had shrunk several sizes. The walls felt oppressive, and the two lucarios had become fantastic beasts. Any thought I tried to conjure quickly fell apart before the words reached my lips. Oh, God. If they knew, then that serperior and Violet knew as well. There goes any fucking chance of a change of image if I wanted one.
"We can come back to that later," Aurora smiled. She leaned over to Lucas again, and after another whispered conversation, he stood up and left the room. "Now, are there any questions you have for me while we wait for Lucas to return?
I stayed silent for a moment, just trying desperately to collect myself. I needed something to draw my attention away from what happened, which came in the form of a rather obvious question. I took a deep breath, shaking away any vestiges of my panic, and rattled off one of the first things that came to mind.
"How am I able to understand you?" My voice was still a bit shaky, but the question got out all the same.
"Oh! Did no one explain it to you when you woke up?" She asked to which I shook my head. "Well, while you were out, we performed a surgery that inserted a small chip into your ear canal that assists in translating pokémon languages."
I felt behind my ears, and surely enough, I felt the stitches. A slight shiver went down my spine, and I quickly pulled my hands away. As helpful as the procedure is, it made me slightly uncomfortable that it happened when I was unaware. Did they do anything else to me?
"Did… anything else like that happen while I was out?" I asked, barely hiding my nervousness.
"Nope! We just thought it was a necessary procedure before we could properly gauge what your medical history is."
"Great. I have that to look forward to next," I muttered.
"That won't be until tomorrow. Today, I believe it's more of an introduction to how life works here."
"Where is here exactly?" I questioned.
"A place called the Pokémon Liberation Front. You'll learn more about it in a bit," she said.
Right on cue, Lucas returned with the serperior. He gestured for Aurora to step out into the hallway with them, to which she complied. Well, this was a nice fucking mess. I'm still conflicted over the fact that I exist. On one side, it's a second chance at life. On the other hand, is it a second chance I really want? The door swung open again, and the serperior popped her head in the door.
"Come with me," she ordered. With a long sigh, I stood from my chair and followed her. "Sorry about the tone. It's just a habit with people outside my usual group."
"Don't worry about it," I muttered. "What now?"
"Now, you meet with the leader of the Pokémon Liberation Front,"
"Isn't that a security risk?" I asked.
The serperior chuckled, "Clearly, you've never seen how quickly fights end between humans and pokémon."
It was said as a joke, but I couldn't help but take it as a veiled threat. I shivered slightly as I imagined how a fight like that would go down. Using what I know from my childhood, I guess it would be a rather brutal ordeal and something that I'd like to avoid.
In utter silence, she led me out of what I assumed to be the medical wing of this… complex? Honestly, this place confused me. There were winding corridors upon winding corridors that led to. How anyone could find their way here was beyond me, yet the serperior seemed to do it masterfully.
Eventually, the crowds we passed in the hallways began to thin out and were replaced with somewhat intimidating guards. They seemed to have an implicit trust for the serperior but eyed me like hungry wolves. They would be all over me if I made one wrong move here. For the duration of our journey, I walked just a little closer to the serperior.
We stopped in front of a rather bland-looking set of doors. One guard was standing in front of it. He eyed me over, scoffed, and then opened the door for us. The serperior snaked into the room, and I timidly followed. The inside of this room was much different from everything else I had seen. Up until this room, everything was bland and monotonous, but this room… had some life to it.
The room was illuminated almost entirely by candlelight which made the room very cozy. Through the brief flicker of light, I could see that the room's perimeter was made up of bookshelves. Behind them, the walls were painted a calming deep blue. In the center of the room sat an absol, who stared at me with keen interest.
"It's a relief to see you finally awake," she smiled. It was a genuine and calming smile. Almost the one a mother would give her child. "My name is Mystic. No doubt you have many questions."
"What is this place? Like the building specifically?"
"Ah, this is a large underground complex funded by the government. There's a lot more to it, but I don't want to bore you. If you are interested in learning more, I'd happily allow you access to the books or perhaps some history lessons."
"All of that for me? Why?" I questioned.
"Because you are of great importance to the world. It is my responsibility to account for all your needs while you are here," she responded, still holding that smile.
"But why? There's nothing special about me besides some title I don't even know the meaning of."
"That precisely is what makes you special. All living things have a purpose, and they are aware of it. You are the only thing with a purpose that you can mold any way you'd like."
"So what? I'm special because I have no sense of direction? Yeah, right," I chucked dismissively. "I went ALL my fucking life without one, and you know what? It sucked! So, forgive me for not being stoked about this new job that no one asked me if I fucking wanted!" A deep rage began to take over. That very same rage that tore apart my room and destroyed my friendships. The serperior had sensed it as well. Before I could do anything, I was already restrained by vines and pulled to the ground.
"That's unnecessary, Basilisk," the absol chided.
The serperior opened her mouth to respond but closed it and instead bowed, "As you wish, Mystic."
I pushed myself off the ground and rose to my feet. That fury was still there but had subsided enough to fall under my control. I felt slightly ashamed about the outburst. Maybe I was right in saying that I was never asked if I wanted this, but this is still a second chance, and that's not something everyone gets.
"Sorry about that, Mystic," I said shamefully. I then gestured to Basilisk. "She was right to keep me restrained. The last time I had an outburst like that… well… it didn't go too well."
Mystic simply smiled, "There's no need to apologize. I understand how difficult this situation is. That's why I wanted to bring you here. Admittingly, it will be a long process for you to get acclimatized here. Still, I am here to ensure that process goes as smoothly as possible. That is why I am assigning you under the command of Basilisk. I feel that she and those under her command will be best suited to assist you."
Basilisk's eyes widened, "I appreciate the offer, but I must protest. We just lost a member of my team. Some people won't take that well if we replace him so soon and with him especially."
"This time, Basilisk, it wasn't a request. That was an order," Mystic spoke, still holding that gentle smile, yet with a very authoritative voice. I found the ability very uncanny.
"I- I understand. I'll have him go through orientation after we hold a ceremony," Basilisk responded, sounding like a mix between defeated and intimidated.
"Good. While you and your team mourn, have Violet give him a brief tour," Mystic turned her attention back to me. "Know that you are welcome to come by at any time. I will let my guards know to let you through."
Basilisk led me away from Mystic's, for lack of a better word, chamber and back through the winding labyrinth of this facility. We entered what looked like a residential place. I use residential very loosely as it lacked that warm feeling that such places usually had. Instead, that same bland feeling stuck to the walls of this place like moss to a tree.
We stopped at a door that was locked by a keypad. Right above the keypad was a plaque that read Team A. She quickly punched in a code and ushered me through the door. It led into another, but much shorter, hallway. On each side of the hallway, there were three doors.
Already, the feeling here was drastically different than on the outside. The walls were painted with various depictions of humans and pokémon, each in heroic poses. Some looked to be professionally drawn, and others seemed lifeless.
Basilisk opened another door to a room that looked like a conference room. Around the table in the center of the room were people and pokémon. I recognized Violet, Aurora, and Lucas out of the bunch. The rest looked at me with looks of pure curiosity or glowering hatred.
"Stand next to Violet," Basilisk ordered. Violet leaned against a wall where she was far from everyone else. The only person who lingered near her was a grovyle.
I happily complied with Basilisk's order and sat against the wall next to Violet. So far, she was the only one who showed me any modicum of kindness that I knew for sure was genuine. Okay, maybe it wasn't, but something convinced me otherwise. Something that I couldn't quite put my finger on still.
"Now, let's quickly get introductions out of the way. Everyone, this is Nathan Miller. He will be the newest addition to our team," Basilisk announced. There was a mixed reaction all around. Some people seemed okayish with the news. Others groaned. "That's enough of that! Now, let's begin with brief introductions starting with Thomas over here, and Nathan, please stand for this."
I sighed and rose to my feet. Thomas stood up from his seat as well. He looked maybe a few years older than me. He had brown slicked back hair, and his face was dotted with stubble. By the way, he looked at me. I could tell he didn't like me.
"My name is Thomas Palmer, but I prefer to be called Tommy if you don't mind. I'm the squad medic," he said, his voice laced with a hatred that I recognized. It was the kind of anger that comes with loss, and while he didn't like me, it was something I could emphasize with him about.
The next to stand up was a blaziken who looked indifferent to my presence, which brought little comfort to me. That was until she looked at me. It felt like she was studying me for weaknesses, making me very uncomfortable.
"My name is Hailfire, and I'm the second-in-command," she briefly said, maintaining eye contact. When she finally sat down, I felt safe enough to breathe again.
Up next was a rather aged-looking man compared to the other humans here. He was pushing into his forties, which didn't seem right. His face may have looked aged, but he still gave the impression that he could beat the living hell out of you if he chose to. Even with his intimidating looks, he flashed me a warm smile as he stood.
"Hello! My name is Richard Evans, and I'm… well, I suppose I don't have an official title," he chuckled as he went to sit down.
"Richard is our resident military and heavy weapons expert due to his experience in the war," Basilisk chimed in.
"Bah! I'm no more of an expert than our new friend here," he responded.
"Friend in heavy quotation marks," Tommy sighed.
After that, a rather shifty-looking grovyle stood up. Her eyes flicked over to me and just silently watched me. She seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and nodded to herself. Whatever decision she came to worried me. It didn't help that I couldn't read any emotion besides a blank look of curiosity.
"My name is Ghost, and I suppose I am the resident… stealth expert," she said before quickly sitting down.
"Pfft. Yeah, right!" Tommy laughed. "Like you have any sort of subtlety!"
The final person to stand was a human woman. I couldn't quite read anything from her regarding me, but I could tell she was mourning just by looking into her eyes. Before she spoke, I noticed she was playing around with a ring on her finger.
"My name is Charlotte… Palmer… and while I'm here, I might as well apologize for Tommy. He doesn't mean it," she murmured. Tommy scoffed at her in response, which got him a nice glare from Hailfire.
"Great! Now that we have that over and done with, can we please discuss what we gathered here for?" I loudly asked.
"In a moment," Basilisk responded, shooting him a quick glare of her own. "Violet? Would you mind giving Nathan the quick rundown of everything?"
"Me? I'd be more than happy to, but are you sure you don't have anyone else who's more qualified than I am?"
"I hate that I'm saying this," Tommy began. "But I agree. Are you sure that's the best idea? Violet has been here for just as long as he has! We don't even know if we can trust her yet!"
"Yes, but Violet was awake at that time, Tommy. Every time I've passed her, she is hard at work, presumably familiarizing herself with everything here. She'd be the perfect one to give him a tour," Richard spoke up.
"Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine and optimism, old man," Tommy spat back.
"That's enough!" Basilisk barked. "My decision is final. Violet will be in charge of him."
Without further argument, I walked out of the room with Violet in tow. As soon as the door shut, arguing erupted. Much to my surprise, it was all directed towards Violet. Glancing over at Violet, I could tell she realized it as well, and as much as she tried to ignore it, it affected her.
"Did you piss in their cereal this morning?" I joked, hoping that she would also make light of the situation. Much to my delight, she lightly chuckled.
"I should be asking you that. Tommy really hates you."
"Maybe he does, but it's something that I can ignore. On the other hand, you look like it really does grind on you."
Taken aback, she asked, "Why do you say that?"
"Well, for one, it's written all over your face, but most of it comes from your eyes. You can read a lot from a person just by looking into their eyes," I responded. After the sentence left my mouth, I realized it sounded smug. Guess that's what I get for not trying to brush up on my people skills.
She sighed, "Yeah, it does bother me. I know they don't owe me anything, but what I did to end up here was big for me. I guess I just want them to accept me."
"I know this may not seem like much since I am the new guy and I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, but I accept you," I said with a smile. Violet stood absolutely still before abruptly pulling me into a hug. It was a very awkward hug, but I returned it nonetheless.
"Thank you," she whispered. "You have no idea how much that means to me."
"It's the least I can do," I smiled. It was also a very awkward smile, but it was a genuine one for the first time in a long time. Maybe having this second chance won't be so terrible after all.
"Now, for that tour," Violet happily declared as she began to lead me away from the Team A rooms. There was even a little skip in her step. I know I couldn't take full credit for that, but knowing I could make someone just a bit happier was enough for me. I don't think this will be as bad as I thought.