Zeus was doing his correspondence.
He was also mentally cursing himself for allowing Ares to go on his world trip.
The war god, who was always written off as stupid and incompetent had been a big help with the mail, but now Zeus was submerging in a sea of prayers, letters from both his own pantheon and from abroad, and complaints. Complaints en masse.
"'You won't be needing me', he said, 'That stuff is really easy', he said!", Zeus grumbled irritably.
Then there was a knock on the door.
"Enter!"
It was Athena, who came in.
Zeus stood up. "My little Owl-Eye! So good to see you!"
Athena looked around, assessed the situation in one glance and grinned: "Too much paper stuff?"
"Too much paper stuff", he confirmed.
"If I help you with all of that, will you let Odysseus finally return home?"
Zeus laughed heartily: "I was going to do that anyway! But how could I possibly refuse that offer?"
Athena beamed at him.
Cute.
...
After doing the majority of her father's paper stuff and questioning how Ares with his lack of tact had done this all those millennia, Athena wasted no time in descending down to earth and onto Ithaka.
She had to take a look at the situation there – and to see, if the son of Odysseus was any good.
In the shape of an old friend of Odysseus' she went up to the palace.
Even from the outside, she could hear a lot of noise.
What the Tartaros is going on in there?
As she came into the yard, she saw strangers – probably the suitors of Penelope – playing boardgames to waste their time, sitting on the skins of bovines they had slaughtered and generally living the high life consuming the wealth of another, like parasites.
Soon she was noticed and approached by a young man with chestnut brown hair.
The sharp green eyes, so much like those of Odysseus, gave away who he was.
"Welcome, welcome!", Telemakhos exclaimed, "Do come in, our respected guest! We shall give you the best we have to offer! And after you have eaten and refreshed yourself, tell us what brings you here."
Athena could tell, that the young man was miserable at the situation, but he didn't show it.
He was nothing but polite and respectful towards his guest and readied her a place apart from all the insolent suitors.
"I don't assume you want to eat with this noisy crew", he commented.
"No, I prefer to eat and drink in peace."
Just a few moments later, the suitors came in, rude and hubristic as they apparently always were.
They were served and then forced a musician to sing for them. The man glared at them hatefully, but began to sing beautifully.
Telemakhos looked pained and murmured to the disguised Athena: "Would you lend me your ear?"
"Of course."
"I hate this. I hate how these people consume the goods of another without care or compensation, while my mother and I mourn my dear father, who is most likely dead, even though some say that he'll come back one day. But our hope is dwindling from day to day. And we can't even give him an honourable burial, because his bones are probably lying on the bottom of the sea, where the salt water washes and bleaches them. But tell me, stranger, who are you, which family and what home do you come from?"
"My name is Mentor, son of Anchialos and Lord of Taphos. I'm a good friend of your father's and our fathers were friends before us (you can ask Laertes, I heard he lives away from here out of shame). I'm on my way to Temesa to trade precious metals and tissue. I wanted to pay you a visit, because I heard that your father was home. But apparently he's not. But I'm certain he's not dead either; perhaps some brutal and savage tribe is holding him captive and keeping him from coming home. Now I'm not a prophet, but I know for certain, that the Deathless Ones will grant him a safe homecoming soon. He won't stay away from home for much longer, I'm sure. But what about you? Are you really his son? You have his eyes, you do. I may not have seen him in over twenty years, but his face was hardly one I could forget!"
"He is my father", Telemakhos sighed, "But I wish that rather instead of such an unfortunate man it was one, who could be here with his family, growing old in peace in his own land."
Athena pitied the young man, but had to keep her act up.
"Now, now. Your family was made for glory and you're no different, I can tell. But tell me, what is this celebration here for? Those men there certainly don't obey the laws of hospitality, uncouth and shamefully as they're acting. Any sensible man would be ashamed."
Telemakhos frowned – just the way his father always did.
"I'm not going to lie: there must have been a time, when this was an honest household, wealthy and abundant, while its master was still here. But just a few years ago, the entire noble population of this one and the surrounding islands have come to woo my mother and now they're feeding off our property. We can't get rid of them, they won't leave until my mother marries one of them. She loathes the idea, but she can't offend them by refusing outright, so she's putting them off for as long as she can. Meanwhile these parasites are eating my reserves and sooner or later they will surely kill me."
"Mentor" was indignant. "By the gods, you really need Odysseus back home! Would he come through this door in full armour and make short work of them! Oh, for them to be taken by dark Soteira¹ and rot in the underworld!"
"I wish", the young man muttered.
But the disguised goddess continued: "But it's all in the hand of the gods, whether he will come home and have bloody revenge. For now, this is my counsel, from an old friend to a young one: summon the council of the island, tell the suitors to leave and your mother, if she chooses to marry, to return to the home of her father, for a dower to be prepared. As for yourself, prepare a good ship with twenty rowers and travel abroad to inquire about the whereabouts of your glorious father. First travel to Pylos and ask Nestor and if he can't help you out, move on to Sparta, to the court of Menélaos – he came home last, as far as I know. Should they give you hope, that your father is still alive, hang in there for another year. Should you hear, that he's dead, make a burial mount for him, with many gifts, as is appropriate. Then eliminate all those insolent suitors. Haven't you heard of how Orestes gained glory by slaying the murderer of his father Agamemnon? You're no longer a child, you're a grown handsome man. Hesitate not. Defend your honour, so that future generations may speak well of you. But I must leave now – surely my crew is getting impatient down at the harbour!"
Telemakhos smiled warmly (that was his mother's smile): "Thank you for your advice, kind old man. But won't you stay just a little longer? You're my guest, how could I possibly let you go without a gift? A precious and pretty one-"
"I'm afraid I really have no time", she chuckled, "But I will come back and till then chose a really beautiful guest gift! It will be returned with one of equal worth."
Then she turned into a small owl and flew out of the window, leaving behind a stunned Telemakhos.
...
Meanwhile Hermes had made his way to Ogygia, the island of Kalypso.
The nymph welcomed him and served him nectar and ambrosia and wanted to know, what he was here for.
Hermes, now refreshed, briefed her on the situation: "The King of the Gods has sent me to let you know his will. We happen to know, that you're keeping a poor man, who has been away from home for twenty years. Ten years he spent in the land of the Trojans, three lost at sea and seven years he has been languishing here, pining for home. This is the will of His Majesty: for this mortal to finally get home to his family, to reclaim his home and embrace his wife and son again. That is his lot, not to vegetate here, far away from his loved ones."
Kalypso blanched and her eyes filled with tears.
"This … this is not fair! Why won't the gods allow, that a goddess may be happy with a mortal? Êôs loved Orion, only for him to die by the hands of golden-throned Artemis! Demeter loved Iasion, only for him to be hit by the Thunderer's lightning bolts! I saved this man, hosted and fed him, offered him immortality, so he would never grow old and die-"
"Êôs and Demeter were loved back", Hermes countered, "Odysseus isn't happy with you. We see this man weeping on the strand day after da. Not every mortal wants immortality, Kalypso. Immortality is no blessing for a mortal, even though a lot of people think that. Odysseus needs his family and they need him. Let him go. Don't risk the anger of the King of the Gods."
The nymph choked back a sob, but nodded.
...
Poseidon was returning from a party in Ethiopia, when he spotted something he did not like: his nemesi- er, the mortal he hated, merrily rowing on the surface of his sea on a raft with provisions.
Within seconds he put two and two together: the other gods must have decided for Odysseus to be allowed to go home, while he had been away.
"Well, I'm not letting him off easy", Poseidon grumbled and unleashed a mighty storm, house-high waves, deadly currents and all.
...
Odysseus clung to his raft, as it was thrown back and forth by the waves and realised, that he was likely going to drown.
"Aw, shit!", he muttered and held on tighter, because there was no way he would accept a death as inglorious as drowning.
But as he was clinging to his wooden raft, he soon saw the foam on one of the waves shift into the shape of a woman.
That was Leukothea, formerly Ino, the daughter of Kadmos and Harmonia and aunt of Dionysos, who had been deified by Poseidon, many centuries ago.
She pitied the struggling mortal thrown around by the raging sea.
"Poor man" she spoke, "What have you done to provoke the merciless wrath of Poseidon, that he wants to drown you so badly? But fear not, I'm here to help you. Listen: take off your clothes and everything that drags you down, then tie my scarf around your chest – it will save you from drowning. Once you have reached dry land, give it back to me."
She handed him a silken scarf and dived back into the waves.
Odysseus frowned. Why would I need this, when I have a raft?
Right in that moment, said raft was torn apart by a particularly huge wave.
Never mind.
He did as the marine goddess had told him and took to swimming.
In the meantime Poseidon retired to his crystal palace on the bottom of the sea.
Odysseus spent the next two days fighting against the raging sea, trying to finally reach the shore.
All the while, Athena was with him, never once taking her protection away.
She stilled the winds and gave him the strength to swim long enough to reach the shore of the land of the Phaiakoi.
The long-suffering hero finally found a piece of strand, crawled onto the shore and fainted.
When he came to himself, he took off the anti-drowning-scarf and threw it back into the sea, back to its owner.
Then he turned his back onto the water, stumbled further inland and crawled under a bush.
Exhausted, hurting everywhere and too tired to do anything, he fell into a healing, restful slumber.
...
Athena meanwhile entered the sleep of Nausikaa, the princess of this land, disguised as one of her friends. She inspired her to go out in the morning to do her laundry with her maids and maybe play at ball and Nausikaa woke up, resolved to do just that.
...
Odysseus woke up to women's screaming.
He crawled out from under this bush, covered his private parts with a leafy branch and went to investigate.
Soon he came across a group of ladies, apparently looking for something.
When they saw him, they screamed and fled, all except for one.
She didn't seem to be afraid at all.
And perhaps she could help him.
So the former hero cleared his throat and with many a flattery asked her for help.
The lady introduced herself as princess Nausikaa of the Phaiakoi and gave him some of her father's clothes she and her maids had been washing earlier.
Once washed and finally dressed, he could feel a divine presence cast a spell on him.
When he stepped back in front of Nausikaa, he guessed that Athena had made him look younger and more stately than he actually was, because the princess proclaimed her hope to have a bridegroom as regal and handsome as himself.
Then she pointed him a way to the city, while she left for some place else.
One of her maids guided him and instructed him on how he should come to the king and queen to plead for hospitality.
He did as told and they received him kindly.
...
Next morning, king Alkinoos called an assembly of the local nobility, introduced them to this stranger and informed him of his request.
They marvelled at the newcomer, whom Athena had given godlike beauty, so that he would find approval and be liked by the people here.
"This stranger – I don't know who he is – has been stranded here and beseeches me for help to return to his homeland", Alkinoos explained. "No supplicant has ever asked us in vain for safe transport. So let's ready a ship and rowers and let him go where he wishes to, as soon as possible. But first we should host him according to the laws of hospitality. Let a great feast be prepared and summon our best musician."
This was done and not much later, the entire nobility was gathered in his hall to feast.
Demodokon, the blind singer, entertained them with his beautiful music and sung of the glory of the Achaeans in the Trojan War.
The musical reminder of the events made Odysseus upset and he pulled the cloak he was wearing over his face, so no one saw him cry.
...
Next was a small tournament.
The young Phaiakoi competed in all kinds of sports.
Odysseus was feeling too gloomy to participate in discus throwing, but when one of the young men provoked him and questioned his masculinity, he got so angry that he grabbed the biggest, heaviest discus at hand and threw it much farther than all the others.
"As you can see", he turned to the stunned Phaiakoi, "I'm more than adept in the art of war and battle. If any of you wants to challenge me in another discipline, I'm more than confident, that I can best them. Except when it comes to running, as my leg muscles are out of shape."
Alkinoos quickly pacified his guest and called to music and dance.
Odysseus marvelled at the dancing skills of the Phaiakoi, at the gracefulness of their movements and how their feet practically flew across the dance floor.
The singer Demodokon sang about the love of Ares and Aphrodite and of how her then husband Hephaistos had caught them in his golden net.
A pair of dancers performed a rhythmic ball play and everyone clapped along to the beat.
Odysseus turned to Alkinoos: "You praised your people as the best of dancers and it's really true! The sight astonishes me."
That pleased the king and he ordered for rich guest presents to be given to the flatterer.
The man, who had provoked Odysseus earlier, gave him a reconciliatory gift (an iron sword² with a silver handle and ivory sheath) and an apology, which the older man gladly accepted and wished him, that he would never regret having given his sword away.
Evening came and after a nice bath Odysseus went to join another banquet, which was about to take place.
On the way he met Nausikaa and they bid each other farewell, as only men were allowed at the Symposion.³
As all men sat down to eat, Odysseus cut off a good piece of his meat and offered it to the grateful singer as a token of appreciation.
Demodokon continued his earlier song about the heroic deeds of the Achaeans in the Trojan War. Odysseus requested: "You sing so beautifully and accurately of those events! But now sing of the wooden horse! Sing of the thing that Epeios built with Athena's aid and which was brought to Troy, filled by Odysseus with warriors to raze Troy to the ground! If you can do that, I would be forever grateful!"
The singer did so and everyone was captivated.
But the memory made the war veteran weep bitterly.
When Alkinoos saw this, he ordered Demodokon to stop and asked Odysseus what the matter was.
"Also", he added, "I still don't know who you are. What's your name, your family and the name of your home? Were you there in Troas or did you lose someone dear to you in this terrible war? A family member, a comrade or a friend?"
The other man wiped his tears away and stood up.
"I am Odysseus, son of Laertes, who beguiles men with cunning and beautiful words, whose fame reaches to the skies. I come from the bountiful island of Ithaka and I couldn't possibly think of a sweeter sight than my own home."
The whole room was silent, as everyone stared at him.
1) Soteira: "Saviour", an epithet to many goddesses. In this case a euphemistic epithet of Persephone.
2) The Trojan War is supposed to have taken place in about the 13th or 12th century BC, which was still in the bronze age. So an iron weapon was something special. Iron was hard to forge, because it requires a higher temperature than copper and tin (the components of bronze), but it's also tougher than bronze. Therefore it was in high demand and it would stay that way, during the iron age and beyond. But because it was harder to work with and for other reasons, it was a lot more expensive than bronze.
3) The Symposion (a banquet with music, dance and philosophical discussions) was for men only. Ancient Greek misogyny, everyone. -_-