L groaned as he woke up. His wrist hurt like hell, and his stomach felt like it was trying to eat itself. L just opened his eyes and pushed the uncomfortable feeling away. He was a slave; he was not supposed to complain. He got what he got, and he was grateful for it. L stretched the sleep out of his muscles and relaxed against the pillows. He looked at his master, who was still asleep.
His new master was strange, L thought. He did so many things that Beyond (and L assumed other masters) would never do. He held L and fed him. He took L to the doctor, L convinced himself that it was because no one wanted a broken toy. But, his master was not treating him like a toy. L had expected to be used before going to the doctor. Then he expected it before dinner, then after. But it never happened; L had a hard time trying to discern the reason. Master seemed more concerned about his health than using him, which was ridiculous. That's why Light bought him. 10,000,000 yen, that was a lot of money. More than L was worth. Light also helped him rock. L admitted; it was nice, and he needed it after everything that happened the previous day. He might need it after today, and in the back of his mind hoped that his Master would do it again. But it was just strange; L was used to being called crazy for those behaviors, and he was used to being punished for them.
Light also did little things that were strange to L. His Master squeezed his hand when he got nervous in the dining room. He rubbed his back, ran his fingers through his hair to get him to relax. He smiled at him. He asked his opinion on things and gave him choices.
God, how was he going to get used to all of this? What if all of this was a one-time thing? In a way, L hoped that it was and that Light was going to chain him up somewhere like a dog. At least that was familiar, not strange, like sleeping on a bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets and his master sleeping beside him. If it was not a one-time thing, L hoped that Light would explain how this was supposed to work. He might not be here long, but he wanted to be good while he was.
"Good morning, Sweetheart," L startled at the voice of his master and looked down on instinct. There was another thing, all the cute pet names. L was not used to Sweetheart, Sweetie, Darling. He was used to Bitch, Whore, Chit, Slave. Words that used to make him cry before Beyond had to find more creative ways to see his tears. L shivered
L felt a hand touch his hair before smoothing it back. It was sheer will that he did not lean into the touch.
"What are you thinking about, Darling?" Light asked, concerned when L looked troubled.
"Nothing, Master," L said, still not looking at Light.
Light frowned. L was lying to him, and Light hated it when people lied to him. He decided to let that go; he knew the type of environment L came from, and lying was the way of survival.
"How are you this morning?" Light asked next, sitting up in the bed and noticed L's casted arm on the pillow. "How's your wrist?"
"Fine," L said, "sore."
Another lie. The stress lines on L's face told Light that he was in pain. This time, Light could not let the lie go. This was about L's health. Light needed L to tell him if he was hurt or not feeling okay.
"Don't lie to me, Sweetie," Light said gently, hoping the small reprimand was all his slave needed to tell him the truth.
"I'm not," L denied, and he wanted to kick himself, especially at the look on his master's face. He looked angry. L should have kept his mouth shut.
L was about to stutter out an apology, but his master beat him, "over my lap."
L froze as his eyes widened. His heartbeat spiked and his breathing became quick. He started shaking.
Light moved to sit down so that his legs dangled off the side of the bed. He looked back at L, who had not moved, but stared ahead with fear filled eyes. He hated that L was so scared right now, but he had to get his point across. So, keeping up the stern master act, he reached for L and grasped his uninjered hand and said, "don't make me move you," in a low, serious voice.
L was on the move in an instant. He stood before dropping himself on Light's lap in a quick, practiced movement. L shook harder as he remembered all the spankings Beyond gave him. They were unbearable, and more than once left his ass looking black and blue instead of pale, then Beyond would use him. L stuttered.
"Shh," Light cooed, rubbing L's back in an attempt to calm him, his other traveling to cup L's ass. His slave whimpered as if Light had smacked him. Light frowned, he was not really planning on spanking L, he knew the threat of a spanking would more than likely be enough to get his point across. With how L was reacting now, Light knew that he would have to use this punishment sparingly.
"Hush, L," Light began patting L's bottom gently, causing L to jump and whimper again, "take a deep breath, I need you to listen."
L forced himself to take a deep breath, even though every small pat on his bottom was making his chest tighter in anticipation. Why didn't Light pull down his pants and start hitting? The waiting for pain was almost worse than the pain itself.
"Are you listening, L?" Light asked when he noticed that L had forced himself to relax.
L nodded, "yes, Master," L whispered. Anything to make Light speak so that they could get on with it. Based on how Light was treating him so far, L could assume that the punishment would not be as harsh as Beyond's, thought L could not help but fear that he was wrong.
"Good," Light whispered, rubbing his hand up his slave's back and to his hair.
"I do not want you lying to me," Light began and L knew that, that's why he was over his master's lap to begin with.
"When I ask you a question, it's not because I wanna hear myself speak. It's because I truly do want your opinion on something, or I want to know the truth, especially when it comes to your health. Understood?"
L nodded.
"Use your words," Light said, voice still stern.
"Yes, Master," L whispered, voice quivering, "I understand."
"No more lying?"
"No more, Master," L whispered, and he would not. Anything to avoid this type of bone crushing anxiety.
Light took pity on L. It sounded like his slave was about to start crying. L had obviously learnt his lesson, so after patting his bottom a few more times Light said, "okay, all done, Sweetie," in his normal, kind voice.
That made L freeze again. All done? What the hell? Light hadn't hit him once. This had to be a trick. Once he moved, Light would use that as an excuse to punish him further. He might tie L down and leave him with a gag and a blindfold, for days. L shivered and did not dare move. There was no way the punishment was over.
Light noticed the way that L froze and tensed at his words. Beyond played mind games, Light remembered. L must not think that Light is telling the truth. Light wished that he could read L's mind so he could soothe his slave's fears.
"Up we go, Sweet Boy," Light said, helping L stand. L stood in front of his master with his head down and shaking like a leaf.
"C'mere, L," Light ordered in a gentle tone. L whimpered. What had he done now? He was listening to Light. L tried to drape himself over Light's lap again, but his master stopped him. L rubbed his cast to try and regulate his emotions. He was so confused. What did his master want him to do?
"Gimme a hug, Sweetie," Light said, opening up his arms. L dropped and sat on his master's lap. He brought his arms to his chest and resisted the urge to rock. He still did not understand. The punishment was over for now, L knew that now, but why? Punishments were never that easy. Punishments were supposed to hurt, either physically or emotionally or both. The punishment could not be over. Light was going to make him wait and hit him when he least expected it. L felt tears burn the back of his eyes at that thought. Beyond did that all the time. He made L wait for hours (even days) for a punishment, making L terrified for those hours or days. On multiple occasions, L broke and begged for the punishment because he could not handle the fear anymore.
Light frowned when L's shakes did not die down and he felt tears soak into his shirt. "Shh, Sweet Boy," Light cooed in L's ear, rubbing his back and playing with his hair, "it's all done. All is forgiven. I promise," Light kissed L's forehead and gently began rocking back and forth to soothe L.
L whimpered again as Light started to rock. He really needed it, but he was still not convinced that this was not a trick, so he did not allow himself to relax.
"Do you wanna go rock?" Light asked after a few minutes and L did not relax. Light knew that L did not believe him when he said the punishment was over, and Light did not know what to say to get that across, but he was going to try. He could not leave L to deal with his emotional state alone.
L simply nodded because lying is what caused this whole situation to begin with.
"Okay, Sweet Boy," Light said, standing with L in his arms. He was not going to make L stand and walk just to have him sit in his lap again. He was not going to risk another miscommunication.
Once they were in the rocking chair, Light started rocking him and L back and forth just like the night before, "hush, Darling," Light said when L whimpered again, "I know you do not believe me, but everything is okay, I'm not going to hurt you," and that was not just a promise that the punishment was over. Light knew that he would have to punish L in the future, but he would never be overly cruel.
After a few minutes of simply rocking and Light cooing comforting nothings into his ear, L relaxed into his master. He could not help it. Emotionally, L was done and he was in pain and the comforting rocking and the embrace of his master were too much.
"I don't understand," L whispered into Light's shoulder. His voice sounded so small and broken and Light hated it.
Light held L a little tighter and asked, "what don't you understand, Sweetheart?"
A lot of things, L thought. The way Light holds him, talks to him, comforts him, the way he had not used him yet, everything. He did not understand his new master. He really did not understand his old master, but at least he knew what to do to keep him happy. L had no idea how he could keep Light happy.
"The punishment," L said, deciding to start with what was bothering him now.
"It's all over," Light promised again, and he was going to keep saying it until L got the message, "I got my point across and you learned your lesson," Light continued, deciding L might need a little more explanation to fully believe him, "to keep going would be cruel, no?"
"I-I suppose," L said. But masters are supposed to be cruel, L thought, being kind was a show of weakness.
"So calm, Sweet Boy," Light said, "It's all over."
"Yes, Master," L whispered, deciding that he was finally going to believe his master for now.
"Good boy," Light praised, smiling as he felt L relax in his arms.
"I'm good?" L asked with disbelief in his tone. The only time Beyond called him good was after using him and that was only if L was perfect and followed all of his orders.
"You are very good, L," Light declared, knowing his slave needed to hear the praise.
After a moment's silence, Light asked, "so, how is your wrist."
L gulped at the question and said, "hurts pretty bad," it was still an understatement, but Light did not have to know that.
"How about I order breakfast in here so you can take your pill?" Light asked, "I was going to show you around the castle, but I think relaxing in here sounds better now, don't you think?"
"Yes, Master," L nodded, agreeing with his master on everything.
Breakfast was served fast and L ate quick (as quick as his master was feeding him, that is) wanting to take the pain meds so his wrist would stop hurting. He knew that the pill would make him tired, but L was not entirely opposed to that. A nap sounded great after his emotional morning.
"Here you go, Sweet Boy," Light said, helping L take his medicine.
There was still a burning question in the back of his mind. One that L could not ignore. So, L said, "Master," in a quiet, almost timid tone.
Picking up on his slave's distress, Light was quick to answer, "yes, Darling."
"May I ask a question?"
"Go on."
"Why haven't you used me yet, Master?" L asked, confusion clear in his tone.
Light paused. 'Used him,' Light knew what he meant by those words, but he thought that it was obvious. Apparently not.
"What do you mean, Sweetie?" Light asked, wanting to know if he was correct in his assumption.
"S-sex," L said, forcing the warmth in his cheeks to retreat. He was a whore. He was not supposed to be embarrassed about this.
After a moment, Light whispered, "on the bed," in L's ear. He was planning on having sex with L. Light simply wanted to see L's reaction to some things, and hoped that it would not cause another near meltdown. "On you back."
L's eyes widened, but he obeyed his master. Stupid, L scolded himself, he knew he should not say anything. But this part was easy, all L had to do was go limp and let his master do whatever he wanted and he would be fine. Most of the time.
Once L was on the bed, Light walked over and climbed on the bed so that he was on top of L. His arms held him up and his knees were on either side of L's hips. Light forced his dick to behave as he leaned down a kissed L on the lips. They were not doing that now, not yet. Soon, maybe, but not now.
L went limp as his master's lips touched him. He had to admit that he liked the feeling of Light's lips, they were gentle and soft, not harsh, painful, and cracked.
Light hummed when he felt L go limp. He did not like that, he wanted L to enjoy sex too.
So, Light leaned his head down so that his lips were right next to L's ear and whispered, "not yet," Light moved off of L and sat up, waiting for L.
It took a second for L to process, when he did L sat up on his elbows and looked at his master, "what?"
"I don't want to have sex with a dead body," Light explained, but L just looked more confused.
"I'm not dead," L said, unless his master saw something that he did not. L knew that he was underweight (malnourished according to Yamamoto), but he was not that bad to be compared to a dead body, was he?
"You know what I mean," Light said.
"I-I'm sorry, I really don't, Master," L said, looking down.
Right, Light thought. During his research on autism, he learned that people with the condition tended to take things too literally. L probably thought that Light just admitted to not being into necrophilia. Light had to hold back a snort.
"Okay, let me try that again," Light said and L nodded, "you went limp as soon as I kissed you."
L nodded, that was what he was supposed to do. At least he thought he was supposed to do.
"I don't want you to do that, Sweetie," Light explained, stroking L's cheek, "I want you to enjoy what we do as much as I do. I don't want you to just sit there and take it."
L looked at Light like he grew a second head. That did not make any sense to L.
"It's okay that you are not ready for that yet," Light continued, not wanting L to blame himself. It was not L's fault, it was Beyond's. God, Light wished that the bastard would do something illegal so he could kill him. Light would enjoy that. "We can take things slow."
"Not to mention, your wrist is broken. I don't think you can physically handle sex," at the worried look on his slave's face, Light said, "and that's okay too. We will take things slow."
"What does that mean?" L could not help but ask.
"I'll get you used to platonic touch first," Light said, running his hand from L's cheek to his hair, smoothing it back, smiling as his slave leaned into the touch, "then kissing," here, Light leaned forward and kissed L's lips again. L did not kiss back, and that is what Light wanted, for L to kiss back.
"Then we will go from there," Light looked into L's eyes, looking for understanding, "understood?"
"Yes, Master. I understand," L said, understanding the fact that they were going to go slow, but not understanding the reasoning behind it, "we will take things slow."
"Good boy," Light praised.