Ares never would have dreamed, that his family would be so happy to see him, that they would throw such a huge party to celebrate his homecoming.
And never would he have dreamed, that he would be so happy to be here with all of his stuck-up relatives, that he would be glad to have them and their oh-so-civilised lifestyle again.
But here he was, among his loved ones after mortal centuries of being so far away.
He was in the arms of his little sisters and brother, surrounded by the sound of his half-siblings' laughter, their music and singing, the sweet and etheric scents of home, the sight of his smiling parents, the beauty of home.
And Aphrodite, his beloved Aphrodite, his life, heart and soul, tamer of his wrath, soother of his inner demons, mother of his dear divine children, and he was holding her in his arms, kissing her, smelling her tantalising scent, looking into her pink eyes, feeling her joyful tears seep through his chiton and thought that, right there and right now, he was the happiest god in the world and oh, how he loved her so!
Of course he had missed them all, but he hadn't known just how much, until now.
The happiness was so overwhelming that he almost started bawling in front of everyone. But his pride kept him from doing so, he had a reputation to uphold after all.
Instead he announced, that he had something to say.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked over to listen.
"I'll make it short", he spoke. "When I left here, I was really eager to leave and glad to get away from y'all, because in the years before you'd been even more dickish than usual."
There were a few agitated murmurs here and there and Hera glared at him. Ah, his mother dearest hadn't changed at all).
Ares ignored it and continued: "But you're my family and at the end of the day I love you all more than I hate you sometimes. Bein' away for a few months to cool off is one thing, but after spendin' several centuries away from Olympos, it's really a whole different experience to come home again. It was fun to travel the world, but still, it's good to be back. Guess there really is no place like home. Bottom line is, I missed you all. I'll soon be back to my usual business again, but for now I just wanna be happy to be home and that you're receivin' me so well. Never thought I'd see the day when you're all happy to see me – yeah, even you, Daddy's Owl! Don't think I didn't notice!", he added playfully and everyone laughed.
Athena huffed and looked away.
Ares laughed, but decided not to tease her further for now.
"That's it!", he closed his speech and threw his arms up. "Time to let the party commence!"
These words were met with cheers.
...
It really was the party of millennia, just like Dionysos had promised.
Everyone had fun, there was laughter, the food and drinks were even better than Ares remembered, he was the centre of attention in a positive way and he savoured it all, because today he could pretend that he wasn't one of the most unpopular deities in the pantheon.
Just for this night, they seemed like a normal rich family.
He was laughing, smiling and dancing with Aphrodite, Artemis and his mother, joking with Dionysos and Hermes and playfully bickering with Apollon and Hephaistos.
However, after he had danced with Aphrodite for the third time, he noticed that one goddess was sitting in a corner, moping and looking down.
"'Scuse me, love", he told the love goddess and danced his way through the crowd to where Athena was sitting.
...
Athena groaned in frustration, when Ares came over and sat next to her.
"Oi, Daddy's Owl! What's with that's face? C'mon, I know you're not into this, but this is still a party! And you're sulkin' in a corner?"
She glared at him. "Well, maybe I want to sulk! Leave me be and go dance with Aphrodite or Artemis!"
"Aphrodite is dancin' with Dionysos", Ares replied and pointed to where the goddess of love was dancing with the god of drag queens so wildly, that the other dancers kept a save distance.
"And Artemis with Hermes." There was the huntress merrily dancing with the messenger.
"And I'm not gonna dance with my little brother, that's gay."
"Hephaistos is paraplegic", Athena pointed out.
Ares grinned: "So? That's never stopped Aglaia. Oh look, Dite's dancin' with him now!"
Indeed she was, pushing his wheelchair along to the rhythm, while Hephaistos was laughing and holding on to the arm rests.
"As you see, Daddy's Owl-"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Nah. As you see, everyone's hitched, so you're not gonna get rid of me for now."
She groaned: "Oh for the love of Khaos, Ares! What part of 'leave me be' do you not understand?!"
Ares only rolled his eyes. "Come on, don't be like that! I just saw you being all depressed and stuff and I want to know what the matter is. Just tell me and I'll leave you alone! Now spill it, because hanging out with you isn't any less dull than it was forty Olympian years ago!"
"I see, you're still a tactless prick."
"Owl, I haven't changed for many thousand years, so why would I now?"
Athena sighed: "Well, as humans say, hope dies last."
"Cute. Still not going away."
"If I tell you, will you really leave me alone?"
"Cross my heart."
The war goddess rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine. I'm angry at myself. That incident with the Roman gods … I can't believe this happened! How could I have made a diplomatic blunder like that! Our pantheon got into trouble, because of my careless assumption that the Romans are like us and think the same way we do. I didn't even bother to fact check that assumption and with that I endangered us all. This is unforgivable. And the one to resolve the issue was you! You, of all the people! How? How did you, the god of terrible war and bloodshed, ace this situation and appease those foreigners, while I, the goddess of wisdom and good counsel made this fatal mistake?! How?!"
Ares smiled lopsidedly. "Well, what can I say? I can be really diplomatic if I wanna be. Remember what I told y'all forty Olympian years ago, during the Sack of Troy? Since I'm Dad's only legitimate son, that makes me the crown prince. And as such, I bear high responsibilities. I've been doin' his correspondence, ever since I grew to age. Dad would take me to international meetings to meet gods from other places, so I'd get to know them, learn how they roll – ya know, the works. I had to grow into it too, but I've had ten thousands of years to figure it all out. I just have that much practise. How long have you been doin' my paper work?"
Athena scratched the back of her neck. "Since shortly after you left. I offered father to help him with the paper work in exchange for a favour and he was all too happy to oblige."
Ares chuckled: "Yeah, reckon he was. Bet he has forgotten just how much of his paper stuff I actually do, when I'm not bein' the black sheep of the family an' makin' mortals killin' each other for sports. Did he think you could handle it without so much as a briefing? I mean, don't get me wrong-"
"We both thought so", Athena admitted quietly.
The older god shook his head. "Yeah, suspected as much. Sorry, Owl, but ya overestimated yerself there. Complaints an' revenge prayers of mortals an' minor gods to Zeus are easy to get rid of. International affairs are a whole different matter. As I told the Roman gods earlier, you're so introverted, ya don't talk to foreigners enough. If ya don't get out and meet people, you'll remain completely clueless about the rest of the world. These people don't think like we do. Trust me, no one knows that better than I. Happens more than often, that I make mistakes when I interact with foreigners people for the first time. I mean, you've read my letters from abroad. Cultural misunderstandings, losses in translation and what not."
She didn't answer.
She was too busy grappling with the humiliation of getting a lecture on diplomacy from Ares of all gods.
The war god pat her shoulder in sympathy. "Hey now. Don't beat yourself up over it. Shit happens. Besides, how could you predict that the Romans would be offended over such a stupid little thing? It's as I told them, there was no way you could've known. Just give those duties back to me, now that I'm back. And maybe spend your free time hanging out with others more. Make some new friends, especially abroad. You always liked to learn new stuff, didn't ya? Trust me, it'll do ya a world of good. An' you know what? Let's forget, that I just gave you a talk on communication with outsiders too. We'll never speak of it again. Promise."
Athena gave him a suspicious look. But his expression was genuine and so she nodded.
"Yes, for that I would be quite thankful indeed."
Ares laughed: "Awesome! Hey, how about a dance?"
She stared at him. "I don't dance, Ares. Also, you promised you would leave me alone, after talking to you about my problem."
The war god shrugged. "Guess I did. Still a shame though. Dancing is one of those things you gotta try out at least once. Oh well, suit yourself."
Within a moment's notice he was back on the dance floor and dancing with his sister Hebe.
Athena stayed in her corner, albeit with her mood significantly improved.