Passion For Life
By Laurielu, aka ForeverWanderer
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings clearly owns me 3
The sundering of Frodo and Sam, and their reunion. An exploration of life and love in the Undying Lands.
Prelude
My dearest Sam,
I cannot dare to hope that you will ever read this letter. But I must- I must write to you, the way the cold ripples of summer streams must be touched- the way blackbirds must land on the scarecrow. If I must keep breathing, then I must write to you. I don't know what else to do with this love.
It's evening here, and a warm breeze is drifting in from the balcony, gently lifting gauzy curtains, fine and white as snow. The delicate touch of Elven hands is on every detail of this city, and these Halls of Healing that have become my home. You would be greatly heartened, if you saw this place, and knew the care that I am given. I wish you could see it, see me- I wish- I wish a lot of things. I miss you… how much I miss you, I don't have words for.
I often wonder what you think of, when you think of me, these days, so many years after we have parted. I fear that you must think of the Mountain, and the year and a half following. It grieves my heart that you might most recall me when I was most diminished. I've grappled a great deal with my sorrow from that time, ever since I came to this side of the sea… but these days, when I think of you, Samwise Gamgee- earlier memories have started to come to mind, like another life I'd forgotten I lived. Do you remember when we first met, that burning summer that dried up the pond? How Bilbo saw how well you took to tales and stories- and how I took to you- and started to teach you your letters in the evenings; how the Gaffer grumbled you'd ruin your eyes in that candlelight, and so we gathered every candle in Bag End and stacked them so close together on the desk they started melting each other? I remember the snails you befriended in the garden, how they seemed to unfurl just for you, and how the daffodils were like faces looking up at you. You always laughed at the ink stains on my hands, and saw trolls, dragons and oliphaunts in them, as though Bilbo's tales were coming to life in my palms.
I remember when we were older, on those days when you knew the Gaffer was away, and wouldn't catch you if you went climbing trees with me in East Farthing- I was too reckless a tween, convincing you to steal into the abandoned mill with me at Bywater, or go running in the Meadows to the west, so far from home
Do you remember the stone steps at the stream that ran along the path towards North Farthing, and the little pools of water that collected in those woods, after the summer storms? How bright the moss would get! Brighter than our leaf brooches! Do you remember that time we got lost in Rushock Bog and ended up at Needlehole, and snuck into a stranger's stables to sleep on the haystacks? Or the ravine in the woods to the north, where we saw that giant Hart- how he circled around us, then circled back, reared once with a snort, and galloped off into the shadows? It was fall, and the scent of the moist leaves rotting comes to mind so strong and so sweet I can taste it, even now, in this city that has for so long scorned autumn.
Sam… my Sam… remembering you- you and me together in those innocent days- remembering you has saved the Shire for me. When I think of you, and me, and the land we called home, I'm no longer bitter at its loss. I'm so grateful for that place, I'm breathless.
For you, however, I'm sorry to say… at the loss of you, my grief knows no end.
Author's Notes:
I hope to post a chapter at least every other week!
This story is dedicated to my childhood friends, and to Heidi Gamgee. More on that later. ;)