A/N: Thanks to those readers who have taken the time to review or subscribe to the story! It keeps encouraging me to continue...a "lighter" chapter ahead...

Chapter 9:

"There is nothing to fear," Jamie said, extending his hand in his wife's direction. "I have been around the horses all my life. I willna let ye hurt yerself. Come now."

Eleanor shook her head swiftly, "I really don't think this is necessary."

"Now, lassie, ye really need to learn how to ride," Jamie countered. "It is important." He looked at her pale face,

"Are ye really that skittish?" he asked, patting the horse, while Ellie stood steps away from him.

"I just...I'm not graceful...or coordinated...I'll fall off." She backed up again. "If I can even get up there on my own."

"I'll help ye on. And no, ye won't fall," Jamie said, "because I'll be right here." he turned his head towards her, "Come and pet her. She is a beauty."

"Jamie, I can't do this," Ellie said, "I'm afraid of falling."

"Even we lads and lassies can learn how to ride, Ellie" Murtagh said, chewing on a blade of grass, watching the two of them with amusement. "Jamie has been around the horses for years now. He kens the beasts well."

"See, beasts..." Ellie said, giving Murtagh a pleading look, "That's exactly what I mean. They are unpredictable!"

"Do ye always like to be in control, lassie?" Murtagh asked, eyebrows raised, his eyes twinkling.

Jamie snorted and Ellie rolled her eyes.

"God help me, you two!" she groaned.

Jamie gestured to Murtagh and he went to go take hold of the reigns for Jamie, not able to hide his mirth at Eleanor's disgruntled state.

"Now," Jamie took her arm, "It is important that ye learn how to ride, Eleanor. For yer own safety. And we ken how seriously I take that. Are ye going to continue to offer excuses or trust that if I taught a wee lad of four to ride that I can teach a wee lassie of thirty-three?"

She bit her lip. "I am about as graceful as lump on a log," she said, her face flushing as Murtagh threw back his head and laughed.

"Lassie has a point there," he wheezed.

Jamie titled his head in his godfather's direction, "Dinnae embarrass the lass further, Murtagh or we'll never get her on the horse." He put his arm around Eleanor, "Now mo ghraidh, I ken yer may not be the most graceful, but that is no reason not to try. And ye make up for it in other ways."

"Lad is right, Eleanor," Murtagh offered,trying to sober up, "Ye are the most canny, funny lass I ken."

"I'm glad I can humor you, Murtagh, glad I'm good for something," Eleanor retorted, but allowed Jamie to guide her towards the horse.

"Go ahead, she is a sweet un," Jamie said.

"Not unlike yerself," Murtagh offered and reached out and gave her an affectionate pat.

"Well, thank you," Eleanor gave him a smirk and then began to pet the horse, who responded to her well. "I can pet them just fine, I just have trouble getting on and off."

"Not enough practice, I suspect," Murtagh drawled and Jamie's jaw twitched, the only sign he allowed that he appreciated his godfather's dry wit.

Eleanor paused and then said rather sassily, "For your information, Jamie is the one who likes to be in control, Murtagh."

The two men looked at each other and then burst out with laughter.

"Eleanor Fraser," Jamie tried to look stern, "I thank ye not to talk about our private life."

"Murtagh started it," Eleanor tossed her head, giving Murtagh a mock glare, which caused him to throw back his head and laugh more.

Jamie swatted at her backside playfully, "Enough distraction, Mistress Fraser, get yerself up on that horse."

Eleanor frowned and looked between Jamie and Murtagh. "Still not sure I can do it myself," she said, quietly.

"Have ye tried?" Murtagh asked, "in yer time?"

"Well," Eleanor patted the horse, "when I was a child at birthday parties, they sometimes would have pony rides. And then, just in general, any sort of sport, I am awful at."

"Will ye no try?" Jamie asked.

"If you promise not to laugh at my clumsiness...the both of you!"

Murtagh gave her a small smile, "I think I will leave ye and Jamie to it, Ellie."

"Scared that you will laugh?" Eleanor poked at Murtagh and he chuckled,

"Aye, ye ken me well, lassie." He leaned to whisper affectionately in her ear, "Good luck to ye."

"Maybe you should be wishing Jamie luck. He has to teach me."

"Nah, the lad has it well in hand," Murtagh said and whistled as he left them to it.

"Now," Jamie's voice was measured, "are ye ready?"

Eleanor swallowed hard, "I suppose. Claire was a natural, wasn't she?"

Jamie covered the hand that she was using to pet the horse, "She learned in her own time. That canna be what is bothering ye."

"Jamie," Eleanor turned her head towards him, "I want you to..." she paused. "No bother. I shouldn't feel it anyway."

"Tell me anyway," his voice was low.

There was a long pause, the tension heavy in the moment. "I want you to think I am lovely," the words rushed out. "it's such vanity. I was never like that with Will. No make up. I was more the shower and fluff out and air dry type of girl...and I'm here and often grimy and I'm sure smelly at times..."

Jamie's neck bobbed, "I think ye are lovely," he said, his voice low as he reached to put an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. "Dinnae ye ken that when I was in Ireland with Lord John, I met a priest who said it would be advisable to marry when I was ready...so I wouldna be tempted to sin, ye ken, but I wasna ready at the time...and then I met ye and I thought I wasn't, but I am. Murtagh is right, ye are sweet, canny and witty. Ye are givin me a gift, Eleanor. And I do think ye are lovely." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away, "But if ye dinane get on that damn horse, Eleanor, I'll throw ye up there myself."

She laughed. "I supposed you aren't a saint."

"No one could ever accuse me of that," Jamie quipped. "Foot in the stirrup. That's a good lass," He coaxed. "Hand here. There's you are. Put your weight on this leg and fling this leg over." He patted the leg she was supposed to move.

"Oh good God," Eleanor managed to get herself on, with a push from Jamie when he realized it wasn't going as planned. "It's like I can't get my body to do what my brain is saying."

"Ye just need practice," Jamie frowned, rubbing his chin.

"Shouldn't I ride side-saddle?"

"Aye, but I dinnae trust ye to," Jamie said, "How are ye feeling? Ye look skittish again."

Ellie managed to give him a weary smile, "Still think this is a good idea?"

Jamie nodded, "Aye. We'll take it in steps."

"Alright then," Ellie retorted. "Tell me what to do."

Eleanor collapsed in the grassy shade, allowing herself to finally relax. Every muscle felt tense from her riding lesson. Jamie tied the horse on a nearby stump and then went to plop down on the grass next to his wife. They both were lying on their backs in the grassy area, looking up the grey sky.

"I bet you didn't think i would be as bad as I am at riding," Eleanor commented.

"Weel no," Jamie said. "To tell ye the truth, I dinnae think so, but ye are."

"Thanks," Eleanor groaned. She turned on her side to lay her head against Jamie's chest. "i once had a date with a boy that I had been chatting with for a while. we went skating and I was so bad that he told me that we should just be friends. I should have never tried to begin with."

"Hum," Jamie lifted his arm to begin stroking her hair, soothingly, "that's foolish, lassie. Of course ye should try and if it is with an honorable man, they willna care if ye canna do these things easily. They may find it amusing, but never off-putting. And they'll make it their duty to assist ye in trying."

"Well, I just ended up choosing a nerdy man, just similar to me."

"I dinnae ken what ye mean."

"Bookish."

"Ah," Jamie's hand moved to her arm, stroking it. "I can see that. A meeting of the minds. Ye need someone who can match yer ability to think and learn."

He sat up, gently pushing her up with him. He looked into her eyes and smoothed down her hair. Lifting her chin, he said, lightly, "Do ye think of me as a honorable man?"

"Of course," Eleanor said, studying him.

"I'm going to teach ye how to ride for yer safety and protection. And thank ye for being willing to try even if it damages yer pride to do so." He put both hands on her shoulders, "I need somethin else from ye though."

"You look serious," Ellie commented, with a worry frown. "Is it something I can do?"

"Aye, I think ye can," Jamie said. "The truth is, I will always love Claire and long for her, I canna change that."

"She is a part of your soul, Jamie. I know that," Eleanor's voice was gentle. "I would not want that to change."

"Aye, and I will always pray for her safety and that of my child as I suspect ye will for Will and for yer sweet bairns, but ye are teaching me how to live again. I need ye to stop worrying about being less than Claire, but focus on being yerself. Because being yerself is a fine thing, mo ghraidh. I wouldna want ye to be different than who ye are."

Her heart stirred. "I can try."

"Verra gut," Jamie kissed her deeply before plopping them back on the ground, "now tell me more about this other boy. Ye said ye chatted with him. What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you about that if you'll tell me about your adventure in Ireland with Lord John," Eleanor said.

"Ah, I see how it is. Verra well. Ye first," Jamie poked her side.

"First, I have to tell you about the internet." Eleanor said, with a smile. She began to describe the internet, email, and online dating to Jamie.

Jamie took it all in before sitting up again with her and scowling.

"What is it?" Eleanor asked, surprised at the shift in mood, "I thought you would be amused by it, not annoyed."

"Dinnae mean to tell me that ye met boys ye dinna ken, dinna ken their family or his character and ye put yerself in that situation time and time again?" he asked, his voice serious.

"Everyone did it," Eleanor defended.

"If everyone is fool-heided, that dinna mean that ye should be fool-headed too. Ye could have been raped or killed."

"We met in public places, Jamie. I was fine."

"Ye were lucky. I dinnae think lads are all that different from one time to another."

"In a way you are right," Eleanor titled her head, "And I was also lucky when it came to you because I literally married the first man I met in Scotland. At least I had a conversation with the other boys, sometimes for weeks before we would meet. I married you without barely saying two words to you besides our handfasting vows and you made me go to your bed, that first night. And if I recalled, it was more of the lie back and think of England and hope it didn't hurt too badly, which by the way, it did hurt since you did nothing to make sure that it wouldn't." It was the first time Eleanor spoke so bluntly of their first night.

"I said I was sorry for that," Jamie retorted. "But to be fair, ye wouldna have let me if I tried to help ye be ready for me to take ye."

"You are so much bigger than me, Jamie," She winced at the memory, "I was frightened of you. You were moody and sulky that night. And Will was the only man I had ever done that with and to do that with you after I traveled hundreds of years through time, I was a mess. Online dating holds nothing to that. Stop acting so superior." She grumped, "Oh, for Christ's sake. This was over 10 years ago. Call it foolishness of youth, something I think you might know quite well. Tell me about Ireland. It's your turn."

Jamie glared at her for another moment, "One more thing."

"What is it?" Eleanor crossed her arms, but looked at him expectantly.

"Does it still hurt when ye take me inside ye?" he asked, meeting her eyes steadily.

She was taken aback. "Not usually," she assured him.

"But sometimes?" he frowned deeply.

"Jamie," Eleanor protested. "Come on."

"Answer me, Eleanor."

She exhaled. "Yes, sometimes."

"I dinna realize," Jamie look perturbed. "How?" he demanded, his eyes clouded with concern. "How does it hurt?"

"Pinches a little," she admitted, flushing. "I think it is hormonal at times. Or a bad angle."

"For Christ sake," Jamie groaned, "If ye ever feel uncomfortable in my bed, ye will tell me. I am not that much of a brute."

She softened, "Of course you are not, Jamie. And I should tell you. That's more my fault as yours. It's only happened a handful of times. I'm just not good at communicating in that way. Please forgive me."

"Of course," His expression shifted suddenly, "If ye don't like anything, ye will say that as well, aye? I canna read yer mind, ye ken."

"I ken and yes, I will tell you," Eleanor leaned in to kiss him gently, "Ireland, Mr. Fraser. Your turn. And you better have been safe the entire time or you are nothing but a hypocrite."

"Well," Jamie looked sheepish, "I canna say I was, lassie, but it does make for an interesting story."

Jamie was correct in that assessment. Eleanor was enthralled by the story, enjoying the intrigue and Jamie's company. Jamie was able to relate a story in a way that she could almost feel like she was there. And the revelation of his time in Ireland and his involvement in thwarting an Irish Jacobite rebellion at the expense of so much only served to remind her of the complexity of this time and of the man that lay beside her.

"I'm surprised that you and Lord John had so much tension between the two of you on that trip considering how obvious your strong friendship is now. Why was that?"

"I can't rightly give away a man's secret, lass, even to my wife."

"Of course not, what friend could?" She paused, deep in thought. Her mind kept going back to the minute she told him that she was Jamie's wife. There was a hesitation. It wasn't until she admitted that she could never live up to Claire that he really warmed up to her. it was almost as if he was jealous and then relaxed when she admitted she wasn't much of a competition. And considering Jamie's history that would have caused tension if he had acted on those persuasions.

"Ye willna figure it out," Jamie said, "Dinnae even try."

She shrugged, "I already have. You should tell him about Randall. I think it would put things in perspective for him."

He rolled over on his side, "Ye canna have puzzled that out in the afternoon of company you had with him."

"He feels a kinship with me because we both know we can never have you."

"Oh, is that what ye think?" Jamie said, his voice light. "That's more a blot on yer character than his at the moment."

"And why is that?"

"Because ye have given up when we are just getting started," Jamie said, matter of factually. "As for Randall, I dinnae make a habit of taking about that time. It's painful and horrific."

"And if he was your friend, he wouldn't see you as anything less, but then he would be able to understand if you react violently to his advances."

Jamie gave a snort, "Good lord, you are sure of yerself at times and then other times, so unsure that i dinnae ken what to do."

"Am I wrong?"

"it isna fer me to say." he retorted, easily, "Only lass, it is a capital offense in these times so be mindful of that. John is a good friend and he is raising my lad. We have settled the issues that lay between us on that trip."

"Of course," Eleanor said. "I would never say anything."

"I ken ye wouldna," Jamie said, taking her hand, squeezing it and then kissing it, sweetly. "Ready to try to ride home?"

"I thought you had forgotten!"

He chuckled and stood. "No, it's not that easy. Ye will learn this. I am quite determined."

"Very well, Mr. Fraser," Eleanor took his hand and he pulled her off the ground. "Thanks for the chat."

"Better than the internet?"

"Oh much," Ellie retorted, with a wry smile, "As in person, I get your funny expressions and your glares."

He poked at her, "Ye glare back, lassie of mine."

"Only when greatly deserved," Eleanor said, poking back at him. "I also get to snuggle with you, which is infinitely better than chatting on the internet."

Jamie leaned down for a kiss. "Aye, I agree."

"What does Lord John say?" Eleanor asked, later that night, coming up beside Jamie, who was reading the letter in the chair in the solitude and privacy of their room.

Jamie gave her a small package. Eleanor unwrapped the package.

"Oh, it's a book!" she smiled, widely. "That was so thoughtful of him!"

"Aye, let me read ye the part he wrote to you." Jamie said, "Please give my warmest regards to Madam Fraser. Eleanor, I trust that the ordeal with the school master is well past and that you are recovering nicely from any ill effect you may have gotten from that incident." Jamie cleared his throat and glanced at her out of the side of his eye.

Eleanor pursed her lip in response and Jamie stifled a laugh at her expression. He continued, "Enclosed is a novel I believe you will enjoy. I look forward to discussing it with you one day when we meet again which I do hope is soon. In the meantime, continued best wishes for good health and happiness. Your humble servant, Lord John Grey."

Eleanor laughed, delighted. "I really do love his properness. He is just like characters in novels I would read set during this time."

"Oh," Jamie set the letter aside and then reached to pull her down onto his lap. "How is that?"

"Dashing yet gentle mannered. Strong when need be," Eleanor said. "Isobel is lucky- even knowing what we do."

"What ye think ye do," Jamie poked at her nose.

"Do you think it is a marriage of convenience?" Eleanor asked, curiously.

"I think it is no our business," Jamie said, but his mind couldn't help going back to the day John told him he was marrying Isobel. He had worried about both of them entering into that union.

"Well, there is something to be said about those marriages," Ellie offered, jokingly.

"Enough," Jamie patted her hips. He reached for the book that John sent Ellie. "Want to read it together?"

"I'd love to," Eleanor nodded. "Do you want me to start?"

"Aye," Jamie retorted, "but let's retire to bed and do so."

After they had undressed and stretched out, Eleanor began the tale by lamplight. When she tired, Jamie put on his spectacles and continued. When Eleanor began to yawn, Jamie put the book aside and reached to pull his wife into his side.

He began to kiss her and caress her, coaxing her to passion. After a while, he gripped her hips and plopped her on top of him.

"I dinna ken that ye wanted control, Eleanor," Jamie murmured to her. "But I am more than happy to oblige ye."

Her response was inaudible.

Afterwards, Jamie was asleep but Eleanor was wide awake and suddenly famished. She snuck around for her shift and pulled a blanket Jamie wasn't using to wrap it around her shoulders as she went down to the kitchens to rummage for some food.

"Couldna sleep?" Jenny asked, from her spot in the kitchen.

"No," Eleanor said. "You?"

Jenny shook her head. "Have some tea, sister."

She poured into a cup and pushed it towards Eleanor, who sat beside Jenny at the table.

"What is fretting ye?" Jenny asked.

She took a sip of the warm liquid, "Jamie wants me to stop comparing myself to Claire."

"Ah," Jenny stood and went to find the bread that was wrapped in a towel. She unwrapped it, reached for the knife and cut Eleanor and herself a piece. She handed it to her and then sat back down. "Having trouble with that?"

"Sometimes," Eleanor said, "And then other times, I feel guilty that Jamie is so important to me, when it has not been that long since my husband and little ones ...he has that way about him that just draws me to him, but I know he isn't drawn to me."

Jenny frowned, "He is drawn to ye, Ellie. Claire was a rare soul, but ye are too, just in a different way. But ye are both far from common. Have ye ever noticed that my brother seeks ye out when in a room?"

"He is just being kind."

"Or ye wants to be near ye- that he draws comfort from yer company as much as ye does from his." Jenny took another sip of tea, "To hear him laugh again," she paused, "It's a wonder what ye are doing fer him." she said, adamantly. "Dinnae put yerself low, sister. My brother thinks so highly of ye. And his passion for ye will grow, I can see it is already started."

"It's...oka...acceptable to want that?"

"Aye, it's verra gut to want that," Jenny nodded.

"Can you teach me how to...do things?" Eleanor asked, "like cook and take care of the home? I was never good with that...my first husband was quite understanding, and things were different. I want to learn."

"Aye," Jenny smiled at her, "I'd be pleased to."

"Thank you, Jenny."

"Yer quite welcome."

They drank the rest of their tea in easy companionship, Eleanor then listening to what was on Jenny's heart, each revealing in their sisterly bond that was forming in those wee hours of the night.