A/N: oh my goodness, thank you for the lovely reviews! I am so glad that people are enjoying this story. I'm sorry this update was slower, but I'm back at work and juggling crazy work/home. Writing is a great stress-relief though. I will try to update as I can. Another chapter, please let me know what you think!

Chapter 12:

Eleanor tipped toed back into the room, candle still in hand. She felt more settled after talking to John, but she was still out of sorts and would rather Jamie not know about it...not yet, at least.

She carefully extinguished the candle, placing it on the nightstand before very quietly sliding into bed. The bed creaked as she put her weight on it and heart beat quickly when Jamie made a guttural noise. She carefully turned onto her side, her back away from Jamie, but the bed squeaked again. She held her breath, waiting to see if Jamie actually woke up.

"Where were ye?" he asked, groggily.

"I was thirsty and we were out of water," Eleanor whispered, "I'm sorry, Jamie. Go back to sleep."

He turned in her direction, gathering her up and pulling her towards him until her back was against his chest, "I'm awake now."

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"Tis no matter," Jame said, tucking her head underneath his chin. She was silent and Jamie felt her tension in her body. He waited a few minutes to see if she would relax, but when he realized that she wasn't going to, he asked, "How are ye faring, Mistress Fraser?"

She paused, tensing even more. "I'm fine."

"Are ye now?" Jamie's tone was light, but clear that he didn't believe her feeble attempts to lie to him.

He reached for her hand, "What's this?" he asked, his voice low.

"Oh," Eleanor pulled away and turned around as Jamie tugged the handkerchief out of her hand. "I forgot I was holding it."

Jamie sat up and reached to light the lamp. He studied the handkerchief.

"JG," he frowned.

She sat up. "I ran into Lord John downstairs just now."

"But why would ye need his handkerchief?" Jamie asked.

She shrugged and hugged her arms against her, "Are you upset I ran into Lord John in the middle of the night?"

Jamie snorted, "No, if ye are implying I think anythin improper would occur between him and ye, I dinnae think it could."

She lifted her eyebrows, "So I was right about Lord John?"

"I dinna say that," He wagged her finger at her, "Dinnae distract me, mo ghraidh. I still require an answer."

She paused and sighed, "My emotions are all over the place. That's not the right way to say it...they are..." she paused, "Overwrought? Is that the appropriate sentiment?" she swallowed hard.

"Aye," He paused and studied her carefully, "I dinna scare ye, did I? I ken ye were not before..."

"I toying with you," Eleanor's voice was quiet. "I was practically asking for you to respond that way."

"Aye, ye did," he said and then fell silent, but his gaze remained intensely probing.

Unable to take his scrutiny, she blushed, "I don't know why I did. Please don't look at me like that. It's completely unnerving."

His expression immediately moderated. "Maybe ye did to see if ye could," Jamie suggested, simply.

"Perhaps," she coughed, her throat dry.

"I wasn't too hard on ye, was I?"

"I mean, I'm sore naturally, but no, I wouldn't say."

"And the babe?"

"Fine."

Jamie let out a breath at her noncommittal answers. Finally he said, bluntly, "If ye dinnae like it for whatever reason, we dinnae have to do it so rough again."

"I..." She was unsure of how to answer that. She swallowed hard, "Did you...I mean...were you happy with it?"

"Aye, I thought I had made that clear to ye," Jamie titled his head, the contemplative look returning. He sensed her withdrawing but he couldn't understand why. Maybe she was embarrassed by it...that could be it.

Sensing the distance between them was becoming greater with every question asked, he put his hand out to cup the side of her face, trying to bridge the gap between them. He knew his touch was comforting when she was feeling skittish, but he was surprised that his movement obviously startled her-her shoulder twitched, but she did not shrink way from him.

"I did," he answered calmly, a small smile forming at the memory, "Twas a joy for me to feel that rawness between us."

"I'm glad," she answered. "I wanted you to have that joy."

"But did ye like it?" he pressed, rubbing her cheek, "fer I desire yer joy as well."

"Yes," she nodded. "I should have thought that was rather clear as well."

He chuckled, "I was hoping I hadn't entirely misread the situation," he said, "Ye had me worrit."

"No, you didn't misread," Eleanor said and then closed her eyes, trying to get her emotions out of control.

He frowned when again saw her anguished look, "What's prattlin around in that bonny heid of yers?"

She closed her eyes, letting Jamie's hand on her face soothe her. "I don't like feeling out of control. I mean, I did at the time. I really did, but now...I just feel raw in my emotions and feelings. Like I'm still out of control of them," her voice caught, "I can't lose myself in you."

He tensed and breathed heavily for a few moments, his hand moving to rest on her shoulder. "Why can ye no?"

She took forever to answer. "Because it's fleeting, James."

He stared at her, his hand moving to the back of her head, underneath her hair. "I dinnae ken how ye can say that."

"Don't you?" she challenged, an obvious shift in demeanor.

"Do ye not see me as a man of honor?" he challenged back, but his hand was still cradling her head, refusing to take her bait.

"Of course, it's just" Eleanor swallowed, and then blurted out, "I think I have been here before."

"What do ye mean?"

"In this house. With Will and the children..."

He startled and dropped his hand. "Good Lord, mo ghraidh. Why did ye not say?"

She sniffed. "I did not realize it until downstairs. I do not understand how all of this is possible. I can't reason through this. It just seems cruel the connections. Knowing they are so close, yet so far away." The baby fluttered again and her hand moved to her stomach.

"I see Claire in different places," Jamie said, quietly, fisting his hands against the sheets, rubbing his knuckles in the bed in agitation. "But I ken those memories are in the proper time. More sensible that way."

"Yes," Eleanor took a breath. "the other way is inconceivable. A few months ago but years in the future."

"I ken ye miss him, lass," Jamie said. "And yer wee bairns. I wish I can give them back to ye."

"I do," Eleanor struggled, "especially the babies. Feeling this one's movements today, I love feeling it, and knowing he or she is well, but it hurts at the same time."

"Aye, I am sorry fer it, lass. And Will? Does that hurt ye as well?"

"Yes, but I'm finding...I mean that I will always love Will, but I'm finding..." she paused again and let out a long breath. "I'm finding...when I feel like this, when my heart hurts and feels like it will burst, I do not want Will's comfort, I want yours..." the words began to rush out, "beyond, the fact you are here and he is not. Oh God, I'm awful."

She began to pull away, her aim to get off the bed and away from these feelings which plagued her. But Jamie's hand shot out and grabbed hers, holding it tight, preventing her from drawing away. "Look at me."

She forced her eyes to him.

His eyes held hers. "This between us...it's special too...beyond the bairn that ye are carryin. Do ye feel it as well?"

She nodded, unable to say more.

"Dinna fear it, lass," Jamie's voice was gentle."Please, mo ghraidh. Dinna fear it."

The tears filled over, "You don't understand."

"Ye are goin to have to make me then," Jamie said, calmly. "By being honest. Ye have been skirting around it and I'm not the most patient man. I cannae read yer mind, especially as canny and complicated as yer mind tends to be." He squeezed her hand, "it will be fine, lassie, just say it."

She sniffed and took a breath, looking down at their joined hands, "I do not fear my feelings, Jamie, as much as I fear yours. I know you will only ever be able to give me so much and while that was okay at first, welcome even...I find that I don't want that at all anymore."

He was silent but did not draw away. She could tell that he was thinking of what best to say, but finally he just let out a guttural noise under his breath, murmured something in Gaelic and then reached to gather her up in his arms. He held her tight and she buried herself in him, reveling in his closeness. His arms were strong around her and she felt comforted by him and the quiet words he spoke in Gaelic to her, words that she could not understand, but soothed her all the same. When he sensed that she was settled, he pulled away.

"I wouldna fash, mo ghraidh. I do burn for ye somethin fierce..."

"Do you really?" Eleanor looked skeptical.

He laughed, "Do ye have no idea? I do not bed ye night after night because of habit or obligation. I do so because I want to. Badly." He leaned down to kiss her soundly. "I do burn for ye, but I ken ye realize it's different between us than it was with myself and Claire."

"I'm well aware," Eleanor said, dryly.

He gave her a stern look, "That's where ye go astray, wife. Ye make alot of assumptions that ye equate with the truth. When have I given ye cause to be concerned about our marriage bed?"

"You haven't," she let out her breath.

"Aye," Jamie nodded, "I haven't...now, if ye would just stop trying to provoke me, I can explain to ye what I mean."

"I'm not..." she paused at Jamie's eyebrow raised.

"ye are if only for the reason that ye can get out of this conversation instead of facing whatever is going on with ye."

"I'm sorry," she offered, wincing at his blunt assessment of things. "I'm being difficult."

"Aye, ye are, my wee besom," he squeezed her hand, "Just listen."

"I'll try."

He nodded his acceptance. "With Claire, she was the first woman I ever laid with. And we sparked somethin in each other. It was special, everything was heightened between us. We had to work on finding understanding in other ways, but the passion was no an issue. And I loved her from the very beginning. We were friends, confidantes before we marrit. There was a connection even before we wed. We did not have that, Eleanor, but what we do have..." he paused, trying to find his words, "I do burn for ye, but with ye, it's more of a..."

"Slow burn?" Eleanor offered.

"Aye," Jamie said, with a grin at her expression, "a sweet, slow burn...but dinna mistake me, it is there. And it's strong, my desire for ye. And before ye say," He gave her a knowing look and she closed her mouth, "it is not just because I want a woman in my bed. It is because I want ye there."

"I don't know why. I don't think I am very good at it."

He startled at that pronouncement and then threw back his head and laughed.

"Jamie, it's not..."

"I'm sorry, after four months, yer worrit about that?" He snorted, "Ye tell me where ye feel like ye are lacking and I'd be happy to help ye, mo ghraidh if ye want to improve."

She shot him a look, "Don't tease me. I shouldn't have said that."

"Aye, ye should have if ye feel that way, but I dinnae ken why ye are so hard on yerself all the time," he shook his head,, "I ken that I am different that what ye are used to and that has taken an adjustment, but if tonight is any indication, we are doin fine. "

"Maybe," she said, wearily. "But all of this is not really about sex, Jamie."

"I ken," Jamie nodded, "I dinna think it really was." He paused and then sighed, "I do care for ye, Eleanor, more than obligation or honor or the passion we have found. And if ye are feeling the same, then I ask ye not to run from it and I will promise ye that I will not do so either. But what it comes down to, is that I need yer trust, in the man that I am. That what I say to ye is true. I can honor Claire and honor ye too, mo ghraidh. Ye dinna have to fear yer feelings or mine or if one is stronger than the other. We are muddlin through this together, lass."

She paused, "I just don't want you to feel guilty about anything."

"I have plenty of reasons to feel guilty, lassie, but I am determined that this will not be one of them."

"Or maybe obligated to force yourself..."

"Force myself to love you?" Jamie shook his head, chidingly. "That's not how love works, my sweet lass."

"Yes, I know, it's just..." she blushed. "I want our children to think we..." she paused, "have what Ian and Jenny have..."

"I have no doubt that they will," Jamie said, seriously.

She paused, the silence weighty between them, her eyes filling with tears. Jamie reached to wipe her tears with the pad of his thumb, but did not say anything.

"But I want it to be true," she said, finally gathering the courage to speak.

"And I have no doubt it will be...in time," Jamie said. "Dinna weep," he said, as the tears fell faster, "Dinna weep, mo leannan."

"I'm sorry," she said, reaching back for the handkerchief that had sat on the bed, but had propelled them into this conversation. She wiped her eyes. "I didn't mean to cry."

"Ach," Jamie clucked, disapprovingly, "Ye can cry, I just dinna like to see ye so upset."

She scrunched the handkerchief in her hand, "My emotions with the baby...I fear you are in for a lot of ups and downs."

"Is that what this is about?" Jamie titled his head.

She forced a smile, "Not really."

"Then, the question remains," He put his finger under her chin, pushing it up so she was looking at him, "Will ye trust in the man that I am or no?"

She nodded. "I do trust you."

"Did I ease yer worries?"

She looked him in the eyes, "Yes."

"Verra gut," He nodded, giving her a quick kiss on the lips, "Now are ye ready to sleep or do ye need more coddling? It's awfully late and ye exhausted me earlier."

"I exhausted ye?" She teased as she smacked him lightly, "And I would have gotten to sleep if you didn't start snoring."

"Aye," Jamie poked at her, "I am not the only one, alainn ros."

"What does that mean?

"Beautiful Rose."

"Oh gosh, just with a few thorns."

"Aye, yer a prickly one at times, but I find that most women are."

"Good Lord, that is a horrible generalization."

"Do ye deny it?" Jamie asked, quirking his head.

"For myself, no. For others, I am offended."

He laughed harder, "Ye are no verra sensible tonight, Eleanor, but I like ye all the same."

She smiled at him as he settled back in bed and opened his arms for her. She snuggled into them.

"The baby is moving again," Eleanor commented.

Jamie's hand moved to rest on her stomach. "I canna wait until I can feel what ye feel."

She covered his hand, "I can't either."

They were silent for a few minutes and Eleanor had almost completely relaxed in his embrace, their hands still joined over her belly.

"I do love you at times, James Fraser."

Jamie let out a long breath. "Yer precious to me, Eleanor. I do hope you ken that well."

"I do," she said, softly, rubbing her hand against his.

"raibh maith agat."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Fer trusting me," Jamie said, quietly.

"It only took alot of drama to do so."

Jamie chuckled at her coinage. "Just say yer welcome, mo ghraidh."

"How do I say it in Gaelic?"

"Se do bheatha."

"Se do Bheatha." Eleanor chuckled, "it sounds much more lovely when you say it, Jamie."

Jamie snorted. "Goodnight, Eleanor."

"Goodnight, love."

"Do you know where Jamie went?" Eleanor asked John the next morning as she slid into the table for breakfast.

"I do not," John said, "He left a note that he had business to attend to across town."

Eleanor thanked John who passed her food, taking some fresh bread and fruit. "He left one for me as well, but his details were sparse. Did he take Murtagh with him?"

"I believe Mr. Fitzgibbons did accompany him," John said, "Coffee or tea, Ellie?"

"Coffee, most definitely," Eleanor said, "I'm exhausted."

"I did not realize coffee was so stimulating."

"Oh, yes," Eleanor said with a nod, "I do find it particularly invigorating."

"Do you?" John said, "then we must oblige you. Did you not sleep well after our conversation?"

Eleanor took a sip of the coffee John handed her. "Jamie and I talked for a while."

"I'm glad," John said, his eyes kind.

Eleanor took a bit of bread and then asked him, "Did Jamie tell you what business he had to attend to?"

"He did not mention it, no," John said, "but then I only read his note. I can show it to you if you'd like so we can compare."

"No," Eleanor said, quickly, "Jamie asked me to trust him about things and I do, it's just..." she paused.

"Ah," John cleared his throat, "I find the policy of not asking too many questions unless it directly affects me serves me well at times like these. Jamie is a free man. He does not owe the crown any debt, unless, of course, he does something to change that."

"I do not think Jamie is naturally a criminal," Eleanor said, seriously. "I just worry about him, especially when he is less than forthcoming with me."

"I do not think Jamie is either," John said, equally serious. "Rebellion and treason withstanding."

"But," Eleanor took a sip, "I do think that was rather by fate not by choice."

"Do you?" John asked lightly. "He was pretty tight in the circles of the young pretender."

"The young pretender?" Eleanor paused, "oh, Charles Stuart. Yes, well...that can be deceiving, John."

"You intrigue me, Eleanor," John said.

"I suppose I will just have to leave it as a mystery," she smiled at him, "otherwise Jamie might be upset at me for revealing his secrets...and the past is long past, is it not?"

"Hum," John took a sip of coffee, "You, my dear, have just planted something in my head, for future use, perhaps."

"Perhaps," Eleanor said. "He's a good man."

"I have never doubted Mr. Fraser's finer qualities," John said, quietly.

"I know that," she said, "Enemies but now friends. There could be book written about it."

"Indeed," John said, "But who would want to read it?"

She laughed, her laughter filling up the room, "Plenty, trust me."

He laughed with her, "I take your expert opinion on it, then," he said.

"Wise choice, my Lord," Eleanor said, grinning at him.

Her eye wandered to the empty spot across from her where Jamie had been sitting. Her heart twisted as her smile faded.

John cleared his throat, "About Jamie's business dealings," he put his hand on her arm, "I am sure he is taking care. He is about to become a father."

"I'm sure you are right," She bit her lip, "But maybe I can coax it out of Murtagh later."

John coughed and Eleanor laughed, "You'd be surprised."

"With you, Madam Fraser, nothing should surprise me," he smiled at her and they finished their morning meal in easy companionship.

"There you are," John said, finding her reading in the sitting room. "A note from Jamie."

Eleanor laid the book aside and reached for it, reading it briefly. "What business could have detained him for the night?" she asked, aghast. "And what would compel him to leave even before saying goodbye?"

John shrugged, "I would not fear, Eleanor. I am sure all is well."

She frowned, disturbed.

"Regardless what should we do tonight?"

"We?" Eleanor looked at him, curiously.

"Yes," John said, a conspiratorial smile on his face, "Jamie can't have all the adventures here, can he?"

Eleanor chuckled, "What do you have in mind?"

"The theater perhaps? It's not as refined as London, but there is a traveling company putting on a play tonight. It should be amusing at least."

She thought for a moment, "I do think I would enjoy that. Alo...greatly. But I don't think I have the proper attire."

John waved her off, "I can sort that out. I will set Tom to the task."

"But is it very proper considering both of us are married?"

"It is most assuredly not, but considering no one knows us here, I think it will not be too damaging to either of our reputations."

"Well then," she grinned, "that sounds perfect to me."

Eleanor bit her lip, looking at herself in the small mirror. Her pregnancy had enhanced her figure and the dress did nothing to hide the cleavage. Considering she was used to women dressing in alot less clothing then these times, she was surprised how it made her feel at tad vulnerable. And she hadn't realize that spending time with Lord John, out, she might not necessarily know how to comport herself in these social situations. Still, the dress did flatter, she had to admit. So at least there was that...

She reached for her fan and made her way down the stairs, her hand on the banister.

"There you are," John stopped and paused, a small smile on his face. "Tom did outdo himself"

"I hope he wasn't put out too much by it considering he is a valet, not a lady's maid," Eleanor said, with a smile.

"Of course not," John said. "Though I strongly suspect that Jamie would have my head if he knew."

"If he was here, then he would be able to approve or disapprove but as such," she flung out her fan, fanning herself, "I am not sure I care."

"Well played, Madam Fraser," he held out his arm. "Are you ready?"

She nodded.

Hours later they returned to a fully lit house. John had just mimicked the awful lines from the play and had Ellie in stitches. He took her wrap and handed it to Tom, before they both stopped in their tracks to see Jamie sitting waiting for them.

"Did your business conclude early?" John asked.

"Aye," Jamie nodded.

"Did you get our note?" Eleanor said, lightly. "We were sorry you could not join us."

"I think you would have been amused by the spectacle," John said, "your wife is quite the witty critic."

"Aye, if I ken my wife, I am sure she had many opinions," he approached Eleanor. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, "I am glad you had a gut time, lassie. Thank you, John, for keeping her company."

"My pleasure," John said, "Eleanor is delightful company as I am sure you are well aware of."

"That I am." He pulled back to study her, his eyes resting on the cut of her dress, "I do hope you had a wrap in the theater, I wouldna want ye to catch a chill."

Eleanor blushed at his scrutiny and the implications of his words, "I thought it was rather warm in there."

"Quite so," John glanced at Jamie, "She does look fashionable, does she not, Jamie?"

"Aye, that she does," Jamie said, his Adam's apple bobbing, "verra bonny, Mistress Fraser."

"I thank you both," Eleanor stifled a yawn, "I am tired though. Are you coming to bed, Jamie?"

"In a few minutes, lass. I'd like to have a drink. Will ye join me?" Jamie asked John.

"Of course," John nodded.

"Very well," Eleanor gave a brief courtesy to John, "Thank you for a marvelous time, Lord John."

"My pleasure, Madam Fraser," he bowed slightly.

Eleanor bid them both goodnight and left them alone.

They retired to the study and John went over to pour them some brandy.

"Eleanor was worried about your business endeavorers," John said, handing a tumbler to Jamie, "I felt it was best to distract her."

"Aye, well," Jamie frowned, taking a sip and then going to sit, "the lass shouldna worry."

"She adores you, Jamie," John sat as well, "That much is clear. Of course, she worries, especially if your business dealings are suspect." He paused, "Should I ask?"

"No," Jamie retorted, gruffly, "and even if ye did, I willna tell. I have to be able to support my family, John."

"Of course," John said, slowly. He took a long sip, "I managed to talk to the player, discreetly of course. Eleanor didn't even notice."

"How stealth of ye," Jamie said, "she notices much and ye dinna ken how much because she can be so quiet."

"She was talkative tonight at times."

"Aye, when ye are her friend, the lass is different, much more animated and free."

"Then I should count myself lucky to be called so," John said, "You are not upset that I took her out, are you?"

"I dinnae think anything uncouth would happen between the ye two and we are not verra well known that tongues would wag. Ye are a marrit man too."

"Yes," John cleared his throat, "I am."

"Do ye miss her?"

"At times," John said.

"Ye dinnae have to help me with this. I can work on my own to contain the situation."

"Of course I will help you, as long as I am able. We are friends are we not?"

"Aye, we are."

"Then it's settled," John said, matter of factually, his tone not brooking argument.

"Yer wife will understand?"

"Isobel is used to me going off times on end," John said, "It is your wife we have to contend with."

"That much I do ken," Jamie said, "now tell me aboot the player- what information did he have?"

Jamie came to be a half an hour later. "I'd thought ye'd be asleep," he told her, surprised as she was reading by the fire a blanket around her shoulders.

She didn't lay her book aside, "I am still keyed up from the play."

"Keyed up?" Jamie asked, shrugging off his jacket and beginning to work on his shirt.

"Energized," she said, frowning, turning a page, "I'm just awake."

"Ah, aye," Jamie answered. "I heard ye were worried about me."

"Yes."

"I left ye a message."

"You did," Eleanor turned another page, "Thank you for that."

Jamie looked over his shoulder as he unbuttoned and removed his pants. "Ye are holding back, woman."

She carefully placed a ribbon in the spot where she was reading and laid the book aside, "I just was really vulnerable with you yesterday. You asked me to trust you and I did. But that does not mean that I do not worry when I know you are involved with things that you will not say, which must mean there is a reason you will not say, which means it might be against the law. You just became a free man, Jamie. Why would you compromise that?"

"I told ye, it was things that I was involved in before we wed."

"I'm remember what you said. And I'm saying that..."

Jamie held up his hand, "We need the money, lass. Fer us. Fer the bairn. Fer Lallybroch."

Eleanor closed her eyes tightly, "Just...be careful, James. Really, really careful. Please."

Jamie dropped to his knees beside her chair and reached for her clutched hands, gripping it. He put her hands to his lips. "Of course, I will take care, mo ghraidh."

She opened her eyes, "Good." She smiled, "You would have loved the play tonight. It was so bad it was good, if you know what I mean."

Jamie chuckled, "Aye, I ken yer meaning, my witty lass." He reached for her hand, pulling her up, the blanket falling off of her, "Is there a reason ye did not undress?"

"Well, considering my..." she paused, "neckline seemed to capture your attention tonight, I wondered if you would like to help me?" she titled her head.

"Aye, I would," Jamie's eyes held hers. "Turn around, Mistress Fraser," he commanded.

She gave him a knowing grin and obeyed his command.

Days turned into weeks. John and Jamie would leave for hours, sometimes overnight. Eleanor would overhear bits of conversation that would hush the minute she entered the room. She was concerned, but she knew that the two men were more than capable of caring for themselves. And when they were together, the three of them fell into easy companionship, genuinely enjoying each other's company. Until one night Jamie came to bed, looking grim.

"Eleanor," Jamie kissed her head, later that night. "Our business is taking longer than we had anticipated. We've exhausted all avenues here. We need to travel and ye canna come with us."

Eleanor stilled and then turned towards him, "No. I do not know what is going on, but I do not want you mixed up in God knows what."

"Aye, I ken yer feelings on the matter, but I am telling you that I have decided that I must. Murtagh has agreed to take you home to Lallybroch."

She shrugged, "I am not leaving you."

"Ye canna stay, lass," Jamie said, "Ye need to be home at Lallybroch with Jenny so ye can safely deliver our child."

"That's still months away," Eleanor said, frowning. "What is going on?" she asked, hugging herself.

"I canna say."

"Can't or won't say?" Eleanor retorted, frustrated.

"Won't say," Jamie answered, "And I dinnae have to provide ye an explanation, wife."

"No, you don't but whether you should or not is what should be discussed now," Eleanor took a breath. "And I believe you should."

"I'm trying to protect ye." Jamie crossed his arms, "A task I take quite seriously."

"Yes, I know all about that, Mister Fraser," Eleanor grumped, "How long do you think this will take?"

"I canna say."

"You will be back before the baby, right?" Eleanor asked, fear gripping her. She needed Jamie. They had time, but still, Jamie had to be with her when her time got closer.

"I'd should say," Jamie said, his voice soothing, "but if not..."

"No!" Eleanor looked panicked, 'You have to promise me, Jamie. Promise. You'll be back before the baby is born."

Jamie reached for her hands, kissing them, sweetly. "Verra well. I give ye my word, lass. No matter what I will come back."

She let out a breath. "What is so important, Jamie?"

"It's for ye and the bairn that I do this. Ye must believe me."

Tears filled her eyes as she looked at Jamie's distressed face. "Of course, I believe you, love."

Jamie leaned down to kiss her and then scooped her up and brought her to bed. He made love to her, her heart breaking with the tender way he did. He did not want her to leave without any doubt that she knew full well how much he did treasure her. And that shattered her.

"John," Eleanor sought him out in the study after breakfast. Jamie had gone to see to the horses with Murtagh.

John looked up from where papers were scattered. He stacked them quickly.

"I suppose I cannot persuade you to tell me what is going on."

"Ah," Lord John frowned, focused intently on making neat stacks of the parchment. "no."

"Lord John," Eleanor's tone was soft and his attention turned to her, his eyes meeting hers. "Take care of him."

John swept to where Eleanor was standing. He reached for her hand, kissing it affectionately. "You have my word, Madam Fraser."

"You will bring him home to me," Eleanor swallowed hard. "No matter what."

He squeezed her hand, not dropping it yet. "I will bring him home to you, Eleanor. I promise you."

"Thank you," Eleanor's voice cracked, "for everything."

"It has been my joy and honor, my dear friend," John said, squeezing her hand one more time before releasing it.

Eleanor turned to Murtagh, "Sorry that you got stuck with me," she said, patting the horse.

"Ah, tis no burden, lassie. The city wreaks. I canna wait to get back to the highlands."

"You have made yourself pretty scarce these past few weeks," Eleanor commented, lightly, "Anything interesting going on?"

Jamie adjusted the blankets on the horse. "Dinna even try, lassie," he grunted.

"It's going to be a long trip back to Lallybroch, I see," Murtagh drawled, but he was amused.

Jamie reached for her arm, pulling her aside, while Murtagh and Fergus finished getting the horses ready.

"Jenny will be glad to see you."

"And I her," Eleanor said, "Even though I did write. Anything you'd like me to tell her for you?"

"To keep my wife out of trouble, maybe?" Jamie said.

Eleanor laughed, "Jenny would most likely help me."

Jamie snorted, "Aye, that is right. Take care, lass, though. Ye have been verra open in Edinburgh with Lord John, but back in Lallybroch, remember who ye are."

"I will," Eleanor nodded, seriously. "I doubt I can do much in a few months to get myself into trouble."

"Aye," Jamie wrapped his arm around her and pulled him into his embrace. "Ye and the babe, yer my world, mo ghraidh. I will return to ye."

"I trust your word," Eleanor said, before he silenced her with a passionate kiss. When he pulled away, Eleanor leaned in for another hug, squeezing him tightly, wanting to breath him in.

Finally she pulled away and then leaned to kiss his cheek, "Goodbye James Fraser," she put her hands on his cheek. "I will see you later...alligator."

He laughed. "What should I say to that?"

"After a while, crocodile. Obviously..."

Jamie laughed harder. "Thank ye for always making me laugh when I need it."

"Se do bheatha."

Jamie kissed her soundly in response, his hand moving to cradle her bump. His heart was filled with gratefulness for this woman that stormed into his life and with determination to keep their growing family safe.