A/N:Thank you all for continuing to read and review...& for the encouragement to keep going! :)

Chapter 16

Eleanor twisted the fabric of her dress, trying not to scream out in pain. The wind was howling something fierce and it sounded like wolves were howling back. God help her, it was going to get dark soon. She knew that she would not have any way to protect herself. Fear consumed her. Her pains were still staggered, but there was no denying she was in labor.

"Will, how many minutes in between? Do you have your cell? We should time it," Eleanor said, twisting the sheet. "We should know if we need to call the doctor. Do you really think this is it?"

"Cell phone. Let me find it."

Eleanor struggled to get up. "Here, let me help you."

She waddled over to look through the mess of the night stand. "Here. Oh, God, another one...I didn't realize it would hurt so much."

"Here," Will look the cell from her, "I'll time it. Practice your breathing."

"Maybe turn on some music," Eleanor said. Will flipped on some music, the Christian hits station that she loved.

The pain eased. "Hey, Ellie?"

"Yeah," Eleanor forced a smile.

"I love you."

Now her smile was genuine. "I love you too. But are you sure you don't like the name Harry?"

"It makes it seems like you are obsessed with Harry Potter."

"I am...truth be told," Eleanor titled her head. "But it's not about that. Come on. It's a good name. Henry. We can all him Harry."

Another pain hit and Eleanor tried to work through it, focused on breathing, the music and Will's steady hand on her back. When it eased, he looked at her, in awe.

"Harry it is," Will nodded, seriously.

Eleanor's heart twisted at the memory. Her firstborn. How she missed him...and his sissy and his daddy.

Jamie and her hadn't even talked about names yet. Will and her had been in sync always...and with Jamie, it felt like it was a never ending battle of trying to reach for understanding between the two of them.

Jamie was so larger than life...a born leader. And she...she just wanted to fade in.

Jamie was agile and physical...Ellie was a klutzy to a fault.

She was from a century where women could be whatever they wanted to be-where they were valued for their intellect and abilities, where they were equal with men. And Jamie's time...well that was obviously different. She was subservient to him and while Jamie only pushed that issue on those rare occasions, it was still hard for her to accept his judgment as final and the consequences for her thwarting his direction as severe.

And yet, when it came down to it...they were learning which made each other work. They were going deeper, into the messy places of their heart and soul. He knew her insecurities, her anxiety...and she, the weight of his past. They had forged a passion together that was real and powerful- sometimes making her so vulnerable she felt she would break, but he would always treat her with the utmost care even when pushing her into deeper intimacy and guiding her into letting her inhibitions go with him.

And the way they could laugh together...the type of deep laugher that rumbles in the belly and makes your side hurts. He got her humor which considering the cultural divide they dealt with on a day to day, that was something special- a gift.

"Oh God," Eleanor gasped as another pain overtook her. And she kept hearing noises in the cave.

Jamie was going to throttle her for getting herself in this predicament. She knew better than to wander this far from the house without Murtagh or Fergus or Young Ian. She had no way to defend herself from human or animal or the elements of the storm that was starting to rage. And she was vulnerable at the moment, pain gripping her. She had to admit, if she ever got herself out of this mess, she would do whatever penance Jamie wanted her to...if she only lived and wouldn't be eaten by wolves. Or have to somehow figure out how to push out and catch the baby at the same time. How would that work? And would the wolves come? Maybe there were bats in the cave...maybe that was the noises. She began to panic, her anxiety at an all time high.

There was no denying it...she was freaking out.

"Stop, Eleanor," Ellie muttered, "This is not helping."

She forced herself to close her eyes and pray again, trying to quell the panic. She had told Jamie not to follow her and she knew that he would respect her wishes especially when he was probably angry with her still. And even if he did choose to look for her, there was no way he would think she would ever come here. It felt hopeless at the moment- it would have to be a miracle for her to get out of this situation.

"Where do ye think she could have gone?" Murtagh asked, tying the blankets to the horses. "the skies are about the fall."

"I wouldna have thought she would have gone far," Jamie frowned, raising his voice to be heard over the wind. "Eleanor kens not to wander."

They had circled around Lallybroch and the tenants' farms. She was nowhere. They had come back to Lallyroch to see if she had returned. When they realized she hadn't, they decided to take provisions.

"Clearly not, lad," Murtagh said. "She is about to deliver the bairn. What was she thinking traipsing around the highlands without one of us? She dinna ken how to defend herself if need be."

Jamie shook his head in disbelief, "I dinna ken. She must be in trouble if she hasna come home though."

"Put yerself in Ellie's mind. If she was upset, where would she be like to go?"

Jamie paused, thinking. "Weel...maybe...the cave?"

"The one ye lived in while on the run from the British?" Murtagh asked, aghast. "Why in God's name would she go there?"

"To be close to me," Jamie grunted. "Actually, it's exactly the type of place she would want to go when upset with me."

"I do hope ye will have a long conversation with her when this is all over and done with," Murtagh drawled. "She dinna ken her limits. She is gonna get herself killed one of these days if ye dinna do right by the lass."

"Ye can depend upon that, Murtagh, I canna abide her carelessness, especially when it puts our family in jeopardy," Jamie said, pulling himself on his horse. "It's worth a try to check the cave. Let's go."

"Eleanor!" Jamie carefully tied his horse, the wind was still howling and the rain had started to fall. He cupped his hand, "Eleanor, are ye here?"

He pushed out branches that had fallen to the entrance of the cave he had lived in for years on the run from the redcoats. "Eleanor, answer me if ye are here!"

"Jamie," the sound was faint and strangled, but Jamie heard it, nonetheless.

His heart raced as he ran into the cave. "Where are ye?"

"Here," Eleanor said, from her spot on the floor, leaning against the stone.

Jamie slid down beside her. "Thank Christ, I found ye."

"Jamie," She looked at him, his eyes wide. "Are you really here?"

"Aye," he put a tender hand on her head. "Can ye not feel my touch?"

"I can," Eleanor began to cry, her sobs echoed through the cave. She reached to put her hand on his face, rubbing his stubble. "You are here. You are. I did not think you would come for me."

"Ye foolish besom," Jamie said, tucking fallen pieces of her hair behind her ear. "I will always come for ye."

"I'm so enormously thankful. I did not know what to do," Eleanor continued to sob.

"Why did ye not return home? Are ye hurt?" Jamie's began to look her over, "Let me look at ye. Stop squirming."

Murtagh approached them as well. "Ellie?"

"I'm fine..." Eleanor reached up to push away Jamie's hand, "It's just...Oh God, not another one. I cannot."

She turned away, her body wracked in pain. She tried to stifle her cries, but the contractions were growing in intensity.

Murtagh immediately turned on his heels and went back outside.

"Mo ghraidh," Jamie's voice was hoarse upon seeing Eleanor's pain. "What can I do fer ye?"

"Give me a minute," she huffed and Jamie immediately fell quiet. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God."

The pain eased and she turned towards Jamie, "Jamie, I need you."

Jamie moved towards her and her arms immediately engulfed her. "Dinna fash, mo ghraidh. I have ye."

"I thought...I thought I would have to do this alone...that I would die in this cave. I was so scared. I think there are bats and the storm and the wolves and...I...I didn't see how I could push and catch at the same time. I was trying not to freak out...um, panic. But you know me and my mind..."

"I ken. Ye are safe now, mo ghraidh. I will see to it," Jamie held her tightly and kissed the top of her head, "Dinna weep so. All will be well now."

"Can we go home now? Please?" Eleanor sounded desperate, her head buried in Jamie's chest. "I need to be home."

"I dinna think so, not in yer state."

"But I can't deliver this baby in a cave!" Eleanor squealed, raising her head and gripping Jamie's arms tightly. "I will ride. I won't fall off. I swear to God, Jamie."

"Lass," Jamie chided, "ye must calm yerself. It is not gut for ye or the babe to be carryin on so."

"I cannot...you have to take me home," the tears flowed, "I will do whatever you say."

"Lass," Jamie wiped the tears with his thumb, "Come now."

"I'm serious," Eleanor said, adamantly, "If you want to punish me after I recover from the baby, I'll take whatever you think is fair. Just take me home. I cannot have a baby in a cave."

"I'm glad to hear that ye wish to abide by my judgment, but that matter is for another day. I am not trying to punish ye, lassie. With the storm and ye having such bad pains, I willna risk us getting stuck out. We are safer here. We are dry and it is not too cold." He smoothed down her hair. "Dinnae fash. Ye are not alone any longer."

"I was so very foolish." Eleanor managed to stop her sobbing, only left with hiccuping.

"Aye, ye were," Jamie said, his eyes drilling into hers, "But seeing as ye are bearing so much pain fer me to be a father, I willna chastise ye now."

"But later?" she asked, biting her lip. She meant what she said, she would abide my Jamie's judgement, but still the prospect made her weary.

"Let's talk about it later," Jamie said, "Put it away from yer mind, Eleanor. Ye must think on yer task in front of ye."

"I'd rather not think of that at all," Ellie grumped.

Jamie fought a smile, "Ye'd rather think of me punishing ye..."

"At least that is over quickly...this lasts for hours..." Eleanor retorted, "actually, come to think of it...I think this is punishment enough."

"Do ye now?" Jamie asked, his tone light.

"Talk to me after and see what you think," Eleanor said, glumly. She was not looking forward to this.

Murtagh returned with the blankets. "Here ye are, lad."

"Thank ye," Jamie said, unwrapping a blanket and then wrapping it around Eleanor's shoulders. "There ye are." his voice was soothing. "Ye are shivering. Are ye still cold?"

"Warmer with you next to me," Eleanor said.

Murtagh uncorked the water jug, "Would ye like some?" he asked Eleanor. "Are ye thirsty, lass?"

She nodded and reached for the water jug, but her hand was trembling.

Jamie took it from Murtagh and helped her with it, "Small sips, lassie."

She took a swig and wiped her mouth. "Thank you. What are we to do?" She looked between Jamie and Murtagh. "We have to have a plan."

"Aye," Murtagh said, "A plan is a gut idea."

"Weel," Jamie glanced at Murtagh, "I have some experience birthin horses, it canna be that different."

Eleanor looked incredulously at Murtagh, who shrugged.

"That lad is right. I dinna see how we have much of a choice," Murtagh said, gravely. "Ye can tell him what to do."

"I don't really know exactly what to do," Eleanor grunted, "Truth be told."

"Ye have done this before, Ellie," Murtagh pointed out.

"Yes, but...ah, Damn it," Eleanor immediately clutched Jamie's arm, her nails digging into his jacket. "God help me. I cannot." She took a deep breath holding it, trying to fight against the pain.

"Dinna hold yer breath," Jamie shifted her, so he could put his arms around her. "Here. Lean against me."

Eleanor shuddered and tried to breathe, her mind exploding in pain. "I cannot do this." she cried, stopping her breathing again.

"Breathe, Eleanor," Jamie commanded. "In. Out."

She took a shuddering breath. "It hurts so bad."

"Another breath. In. Out. Breathe. That's gut, lassie."

Eleanor sighed in relief when it eased. "I want my epidural," she moaned, wiping the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand. "I need my epidural."

"What is an epy dural?" Murtagh asked, from his perch across the small opening of the cave, close enough to watch over the two of them, but far enough to give them privacy.

"I'd like to ken the same thing," Jamie asked.

"It's the best thing ever," Eleanor said, "because when it got unbearable, like right about now...when I couldn't do it any more, I asked for it. It's a needle the doctor puts in your back in your spine."

"In yer backbone?" Murtagh asked, his mouth gaping.

"Yes...which sucks at the time, but then you don't feel anything. And it's glorious. Glorious," she squeezed Jamie's arm.

Jamie looked horrified. "It dinna sound glorious."

"Aye, I have to agree," Murtagh drawled. "Do they truly stick wee needles in yer back?"

"No, it's one needle and it's big. But I wouldn't feel anything after that initial pinch. This hurts way worse. I knew that I wouldn't be able to have the luxury of modern medicine, but I did not quite remember how awful it is. You forget once the baby in in your arms."

"I dinna realize that ye haven't done this...like we do in our time...I'd just assumed," Jamie's voice turned anxious. "Ye will be alright, won't ye lass?"

"Oh God, James Fraser, if you panic, I am going to become a mess. I need you to tell me I can do this. Do you understand me? Tell me I can do this."

"Lad," Murtagh's voice was gruff. "She's right."

Jamie snapped out of it quickly, moderating his expression and his tone. "Of course, ye can. I just hate to see ye in such a way. I canna bear yer pain. I would gladly take it from ye if I could."

Eleanor leaned against his shoulder. "I know you would. I will be fine." she swallowed hard, "I'm more embarrassed about what you might see. Childbirth is messy and..." she wrinkled her nose. "It will not be pleasant."

"Good Lord, lass," Jamie snorted, "I am a solider. I have seen blood and guts and fluids before. Dinna fash on my account."

Eleanor blushed. "Well, it's different when it is your wife."

He leaned to kiss her head. "Put yerself at ease. I willna think differently of ye. Focus on what ye need to do with birthin the babe."

"I'm just afraid I can't help tell ye what to do."

"It canna be that complicated," Jamie soothed. "I have been around the horses when they are birthin. Even had a turn a few in my days."

Eleanor's eyes grew wide. "Do you think that will happen?"

"No," Jamie quickly said, "Most likely not."

Eleanor took a breath and a let a long one out. She closed her eyes and fell silent for a few minutes.

"What are ye doing?"

"I'm trying to imagine myself somewhere else. Like...I don't know...a hospital with an epidural."

Jamie cleared his throat, "Is that helping?"

She opened an eye, "No." she grunted and Murtagh laughed.

"I'm glad you are seeing the humor in this...but just so you know, I am asking you to hold my hand while Jamie catches our babe."

Murtagh sobered up. "Aye, of course, mo buidheag," he said, but his eyes still twinkled, "Happy to do my part fer the wee un."

She nodded. "Thank you."

Jamie tapped his fingers against her leg. "Still, ye are right- ye need to work on calming yerself."

Eleanor took a breath, "Maybe I should take off my dress. It is going to be ruined."

"Aye," Jamie said, "I will help ye."

Murtagh turned his back and Jamie helped Eleanor up to take off her dress and stockings, her balancing herself by gripping his shoulders as he undressed her.

"Are ye goin to be too chilled in yer shift?" Jamie asked.

"Not if we wrap the blanket around me," Ellie said, "It's better than ruining the dress."

Jamie nodded and Eleanor leaned over, another contraction. "Good Lord."

Jamie held her steady as Eleanor tried to deal with the pain. It eased and she looked down, the searing pressure, easing. "My water just broke."

Jamie managed to keep his demeanor steady. "Is that so?"

"Yes, your boots are now wet, couldn't you tell?"

"Aye, but I dinna want to say anything."

Murtagh's back began to shake with laughter. "Can I turn around now?" he asked.

"Yes," Eleanor said as Jamie helped her down, wrapped the blanket around her and put another one to cushion the hard floor. He sat with his back against the hard stone and she against him, resting her head back on his chest.

They sat in silence for a bit, another contraction hitting, Eleanor trying to get comfortable- the combination of laboring and the dirt floor made her miserable.

"Will you or Murtagh tell me a story? I don't care about what. Just something to focus my mind. Otherwise, I'm not sure I can just sit here."

Jamie looked to Murtagh. "maybe aboot a time at Leoch? I dinna think I have told Eleanor verra much aboot Leoch."

"Aye, that would be gut. Lots of stories there," Murtagh said. "We could have hours."

"We might have hours," Eleanor said grimly.

"Do you think?" Jamie frowned.

"I would not know," Eleanor retorted, "I cannot look to see how far along I am...my belly is definitely in the way. I'll know when to push, I think. And it's going to get alot worse, which will also be a sign. It will be fine."

The wind howled and Eleanor jumped.

Jamie's arm went back around her middle. "Ye are jittery."

Eleanor frowned, turning her head around to look at him, "this isn't the most sanitary place to deliver a baby."

Jamie made a face at her, "If it is good enough fer our good Lord to be delivered in a stable, then I doubt ye should be worrit about the wee germs," he tweaked her nose.

Eleanor swallowed hard, "But what if..."

Jamie's eyebrows raised.

"What should we tell about Leoch, Jamie, lad?" Murtagh quickly interrupted. "Something humorous to calm the lass."

"Aye," Jamie nodded, Eleanor turning back around and leaning back into Jamie, "What about the time that..."

Jamie launched into a humorous story about his time at Leoch, Murtagh jumping in. They had to pause through Eleanor's contractions which were growing strong and longer and closer together. Jamie's demeanor remained steady but occasionally he would glance at his godfather, who would nod at him. Ellen was close to both of the men's minds, and the atmosphere of the storm and the howling wind and pouring rain and lightening created an ominous feeling in the cave.

It had begun to grow dark and Eleanor looked to Jamie.

"It will be fine. We have candles, but we have to be careful, how much to use them."

"Another story...Tell me more about your uncles...and your mom."

Jamie nodded and began another tale.

He was half way through when Eleanor suddenly began to shake.

"Lass, what is it?" Jamie's eyes grew wide.

"It's normal," Her teeth chattered. "I'm fine. But I think...I think I am going to need to push soon. I cannot control my shaking."

"Here," Murtagh stood. "I will hold ye steady, lass so Jamie can help ye with the bairn." They switched places. "Lean back against me. There ye are."

"I'm scared," Eleanor said.

"Eleanor, mo ghraidh," Jame's voice was calm, "It's almost over."

He reached to push up her skirts. He reached his hand in..."Christ, Eleanor. I can feel the bairn."

"I haven't thought of a name," Eleanor said. "We didn't talk about it. I cannot," her teeth chatted more as she started to cry out in pain, this time not being able to suppress her reaction.

"Go ahead and scream," Murtagh said. "If ye need to. Ye have been so strong."

Her cries echoed the cave. "I have to push."

"Then do it," Jamie said.

She began to try, but the pain and the exhaustion were weighing on her.

"The bairn is there, lassie, ye just have to keep going," Jamie said, when she began to falter.

"I cannot anymore."

"Ye can," Murtagh said, squeezing her. "Let's go."

"I cannot," she shook her head, crying.

"Lass," Jamie looked her in the eye. "Look at me now. Now." His voice was stern and she saw the highland warrior in him once more. "Ye are stronger than ye give yerself credit for."

"I am not," She shook her head, adamantly.

"Aye, ye are," Jamie retorted, his voice rising. "And ye need to push. There is no a choice here. Do ye hear me?" He leaned up, to get in her face, "Ye will push now."

Eleanor met his eyes and they locked for a moment.

"Okay."

"Gut," He gave her a quick kiss. "Now push." Jamie commanded.

"You have to count," Eleanor said. "To ten each time."

"Verra Weel," Jamie said, his voice still firm, sensing Eleanor needed him to be in control. "Go on, mo ghraidh. I want to meet our child."

Eleanor continued, while Jamie counted. "Again."

"The head is out," Jamie said, his voice conveying his wonder.

"Put your hand underneath, so you can catch it."

"Keep pushing," Jamie retorted. "Ye are so close."

Eleanor screamed and then pushed one more time and groaned in relief.

"Thank Christ," Murtagh murmured, but continued to hold her steady.

The baby began to cry.

"Jamie?" Eleanor's voice trembled as she watched him, holding the babe, staring at it. She could not read his expression.

"We have a son," Jamie's voice cracked and Ellie could see through the candlelight, the tears that were pooling in his eyes and beginning to fall down his face. "He's braw." He placed the babe on her chest and then retrieved a knife from his pocket and cut the cord. He reached for the blanket that had fallen off her when she was pushing, wrapping it around Eleanor and the babe.

She trembled as she held the baby, who was squawking.

"Hello, baby. It's okay, sweetheart," Ellie said. She reached to see his hand, holding it and examining his fingers. "Ten fingers."

"And ten wee toes," Jamie nodded, seriously. "He looks healthy, lass." He went to switch places with Murtagh, who went to retrieve more water, venturing out in the storm to give them privacy.

"Ah," Eleanor trembled.

"What was that?"

"Just the afterbirth. There is probably a mess down there."

"Aye, I think the blanket is ruined."

"Undoubtably," Eleanor laughed.

Jamie kissed her head. "Ye were so brave."

"I was difficult at times."

"Aye, but I canna fault ye," he laughed through the tears that were still trickling down. "The whole process is a trial, is it no?"

"Yes, very much so," The babe continued to cry and Eleanor struggled.

"What are ye doing?""

"Help me for a second," Eleanor said, "Hold him for me, against me while I try to see if I can maneuver this. It's been a while and it is not as easy as it looks."

"Aye," Jamie assisted her as she managed to adjust her shift and they maneuvered to get the babe to latch.

Jamie held his wife and his suckling child, his heart full.

"Eleanor?" She could feel his breath on her neck and his tears still wet on his face.

"Yes, James?"

"I love you."

Eleanor's eyes closed and she let out her breath. "Do you? It's not because of the baby, is it?"

"No, leannan. I realized it when I was in London with John. It has nothing to do with the bairn, though tonight has made me love ye even more. Ye went through so much fer us and fer our family. And I canna thank ye enough fer what ye have borne fer me."

"Look at him, Jamie," Eleanor said, "Isn't he precious?"

"Aye," Jamie retorted, "A fine lad a lad as I'd ever saw." He reached around her to touch the fine red hair.

"He has your hair," Eleanor marveled. "I always wanted a little one with red hair. I think they are the cutest."

"Then I am happy to give ye wish," Jamie said.

"Truth be told, yes, this was miserable and I'm going to be exhausted and sore for weeks, but I would bear the pain again and again. Seeing you hold our child, Jamie...my heart is so full. This child is a blessing I never expected, but one I am incredibly grateful for. I love him so much already."

"Aye, I do as well," Jamie said, "but the lad needs a name."

"Yes, he does," Eleanor retorted. "I have a suggestion, but I do not know what you will think."

"What is it?"

"I want our baby to have your name, Jamie."

"Won't that be confusing between Young Jamie and myself and now another wee Jamie?" Jamie asked, skeptically.

"James MacKenzie Fraser," Eleanor rubbed the babe's cheek, tenderly, "and we can call him Mac."

"Mac?" Jamie thought a moment, "Ye ken it means son."

"Yes, I know, Mac Dubh," Eleanor giggled. "That is the point."

Jamie chuckled and then kissed her shoulder, "A canny name, lassie. Fitting considering it is his mama who gave it to him." He paused, "It's simple."

"Simple, but fitting, right?" Eleanor said, still rubbing the babe's cheek. "Because this past year has been so crazy...unconceivable, yet...when it comes down to it, this love between us...it doesn't have to be complicated and sweepingly romantic...it can be simple though deep. And it can be beautiful...it can be perfect," She turned her head towards him. "Am I making any sense?"

"Aye, I follow ye," Jamie kissed her soundly, "We'll call him Mac. Welcome to the world, my wee un."

"Yes, welcome to the world, my love." She turned her head and kissed Jamie again. "Thank you...for helping me through this. I know we did not have a choice, but I'm glad you were with me. I love you, James Fraser."

"I'm so glad fer it," Jamie said, "Ye have healed me in so many ways. Dinnae ye ken how much?"

She looked at him, lovingly, "Somehow...someway...all of this was ordained. I know we will have our challenges, but right here with you...right now. I'm just so happy, Jamie." She reached released one hand from the babe, to wipe his tears. "I want to always feel the joy I feel now."

"Tis a gift," Jamie said, leaning his head against hers, "May it be so. I love ye too, mo ghraidh."