Date: September 21, 2018
Divergence: 1.048596 (Steins Gate)
Time until Overwrite: 18 years, 1 month, 24 days.
"But I refuse!"
The 25 year old flipped his labcoat up and crossed his arms stubbornly facing away from their latest creation.
"What, why!?"
Kurisu was in shock, usually Okabe's the first to test out whatever new thing they came up with to confirm his hypothesis. What was so different about being the first to store his memories into a computer?! This is the first time anyone would be able to do so for crying out loud!
"Because I said so!"
He humphed and looked away from the memory converter. She couldn't help scoffing.
"Rintaro," she started calmly. "Either tell me a reason why you won't try out our creation or I will strap you into a chair and convert your memories into 1s and 0s myself. Maho said it was perfectly safe, hell, she even tried it out herself! It works!"
"I'm sorry what did I just hear?" he cupped his hand over his ear. "Please do say my name once again, Christina, you seem to have gotten a little confused."
"For the last time, there's no -tina at the end of my name!" she crossed her arms. "And why can't I just call you Rintaro instead of that childish name?!"
He finally looked at her with a soft smile.
"Because Dr. Leskinen still can't believe that we're in a relationship," he raised his arms in a way of saying "well what can ya do?". "Calling me an endearing name would certainly go a long way to convince him before he tries to set us up with other people don't you think?"
"Oh please," she scoffed once again. "I'd much rather call you Hououin Kyouma than that."
He chuckled, then laughed, then had his outburst of evil cackling. She just unwittingly wandered onto a landmine and it was all her fault for doing so.
"It seems like my assistant has finally seen the light and is calling me by the name that strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies!"
More evil cackling.
"One, I"m not your assistant," she put her fingers up to signal the number. "Two, I take back my statement, I'd much rather eat my own shoe than call you anything other than Rintaro."
The evil cackling died down and it eventually led to a sigh escaping his lips. She saw him eye the memory converter with contempt, a face that she'd never see him do at all in the 9 years that she's known him.
"Let's make an agreement," his tone had so suddenly changed it almost threw Kurisu for a loop. "You call me by the name we were supposed to agree upon, and I'll tell you why I can't be bothered by this invention."
They were the only ones occupying one of the many research rooms within Victor Chondria's Neuroscience Institute, this room only allowed clearance to Dr. Leskinen, Kurisu, Maho, and Okabe, but it was usually only Okabe and Kurisu in this room now that experimentation with it was done. They succesfully digitized Maho's memories into it for a start, of course she was kind of scared about a malfunction that would accidentally destroy her brain's neural network, but she went through with it once she was comforted by Kurisu to try it after her.
Now the university's restricted server had the memories of Kurisu (save for information of the time machine thesis that Okabe warned her to delete because of his suspicions behind the university) and Maho stored within it and it wouldn't be complete until the person who helped the two through the roadblock would do the same. Leskinen, Kurisu, and Maho were at a loss of what to do with their idea of the memory converter, sure Kurisu wrote a paper about digitizing memories, but it was one thing to write an unflawed theoretical paper on it and a totally different thing to actually apply it to the real world. She knew that without the ability to convert and store memories, the Amadeus project wouldn't be granted funding so the three did it on their own time and money. Then, almost as soon as Okabe found his way into her life, he basically solved the problem for the three. Okabe's guidance certainly surprised Leskinen and that was one of the reasons why he invited him to study and work at Victor Chondria once he finished his studies at Tokyo Denki. However, Okabe himself didn't participate in making the damned thing itself, he just talked like he knew exactly what was going on. Why wouldn't he want to put his memories into something that he created? There was only one way to find out.
"Fine," she conceded. "But you have to go first."
She eyed him carefully, Okabe took on a look of sadness, a sadness that she hadn't seen since a panic attack he had several years prior. This must be related to that other worldline he mentioned.
"This machine," he carefully put his hand on top of it as if it were gonna snap at him. "This machine already tells half the story of the technology necessary to time travel. Every time I look at it, flashes of of all those worldlines, of Mayuri, of you, they just..."
His breathing got caught in his throat. Kurisu understood why he was the way he was now. She approached Okabe who was lost in his own personal nightmare with such a softness to her step that he didn't notice she was next to him until she put her hand over his. She placed his hand that was resting atop the memory converter on her heart and sat there with him for a moment.
"You don't have to force yourself anymore," she tried comforting him. "Whatever you had to go through, it's over, you saved both Mayuri and myself. You don't have to suffer for our sakes anymore."
He grimaced then looked away, tears seemed to be wanting to flow down his cheeks. She grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, hugging him tightly so that he could understand that whatever he experienced is well behind them now. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and she could feel his shoulders shaking, he was still trying to hold back his tears.
"Just let go of it all," she whispered in his ear. "I'll always be here for you...Okarin."
"Kagari?"
Kurisu had never felt herself shift from sad to angry faster than she has at this very moment. First this man standing before her overwrites her husband and now he confuses her for Mayuri's 10 year old daughter?! She reached out and slapped him as hard as she could. Was he a pervert from the worldline that he came from? So many emotions were running and she was still seething.
"You're not him," she wanted to cry again. "You took him away."
She knew she wasn't being rational at all with this version of Okabe that was before her. Her Okabe told her all about how this man standing before her was the one that came up with the plan to save her; that she owes it to him and Mayuri that Okabe found the courage to try saving her once more. She stared at him as he rubbed his now red cheek with a sort of sad smile hanging on his face.
"I guess I deserved that, huh?"
He chuckled softly, but then quickly stopped.
"But Kurisu," he looked at her straight in the eyes again. "This is the Steins Gate worldline right? I didn't fail in guiding us here, right?"
She could sense the desperation in his voice, as if his whole life depended on the answer he was trying to get out of her.
She finally sighed and wiped away the tears from her eyes. "This is the promised worldline that he told me about, yes. The one where both Mayuri and I could live. The world that's uncontrolled by fate..."
Those were the exact words that he had told her when she asked him about his Attractor Field Theory. Just thinking about him made her want to break down again, as if he meant more than just the world to her. This man standing before her wasn't him anymore, she understood that now, but how could she just replace her husband with the Okabe that just overwrote him? She knew the best possible solution for her emotionally would have been to overwrite this man standing before her and bring back her husband with the memory storage unit, but Okabe never wanted to store his memories because of how much it reminded him of the Time Leap Machine that apparently she had created in the Alpha worldline.
She looked down at the ground.
"I presume by 'he' you mean the Okabe Rintaro I overwrote, right?"
That man just stood there, as if he was offering some sort of pity to her because of what he had just done.
She peered over at him once more and his face shifted from someone who was worried to someone who was trying to be understanding. He seriously just came here from a worldline where she died and he was actually calm about it? Hell, even at this moment she'd go crazy just to reunite with her husband and he's only been gone for under 5 minutes.
Kurisu chose not to respond and looked down at the cold floor in agonizing sadness. Her rationality was in the gutter and she knew letting her emotions take control of the situation was among the worst things to do at this point, but she couldn't help it.
"Looks like the consequences of Reading Steiner goes both ways, huh?" he sighed and leaned over the railing that her husband was leaning over moments ago. "Listen, Kurisu. I may not be the man you knew for the past 26 years was it? I hope he still got to know you for 26 years at least. But he and I are one in the same if you think about it."
She clenched her fists. He could never be the same as the man who her husband was.
"I've jumped from worldline after worldline, seen things no man should ever see more than once. I've lived more lifetimes than I could have ever possibly asked for, but each experience has made me the person standing before you at this very moment. The Rintaro Okabe that saved you, he doesn't know half the story of what it took to finally be able to rescue you, the suffering that I had to experience over and over and over again just to be able to find the right worldline to send that encouragement he needed to try once more."
His calm tone made way to a more emotional one. Each word that left his mouth felt like they stung.
"I may not be that man you've known, but we still are one in the same. Him and I - no - I love you, there was no secret to that no matter what worldline we were on. I may just be one of the many Zeroes who dawdled on the Beta worldline where you passed away, but each and every one of us, me, were drawn by the same thing. My love for you was something I wasn't going to let go."
She looked up to see him looking back at her, his eyes were locked onto her.
"I've traveled to a world where I'd been tortured and left for dead, a world where World War III started well before 2000, a world where your memories rested within Mayuri's daughter, I've even traveled 70 million years into the past, but in each worldline it was apparent that I still loved you. I'm sure the version of me that stood before you moments ago loved you just as much as I did, possibly more, but that only serves to strengthen the idea that our minds, our ideas, they're spread through multiple different worlds to make up the person we are here and now. We may not seem the same way at face value, but deep down, we all hold the same thing true to ourselves, and this time, it was our love for you that kept us all bound together."
That theory, it sounded so familiar to her. Almost as if she said those exact words at some point in her life before, but she couldn't remember when.
"This was the theory you taught me on my last day on the Alpha worldline, your encouragement to keep me from turning away from saving Mayuri," he looked away from her as he said it, as if he regretted saying what he said. "I'm sure I probably explained it to you before though."
No, he hadn't. It's almost as if she learns something new about her husband each day and it surprised her. Okabe tended to keep his thoughts to himself until Kurisu pried them out of him and each revelation he made about that other worldline was enough to shock her each time.
"And I stand before you now, Makise Kurisu," he spread his arms out wide and looked back at her. "You, the reason why I found the courage to go searching for Steins Gate once more, are the person I've been searching for, for lifetimes on end I've been looking for you. I stand before you now, not as the man that saved you, but as the man who instructed himself to save you. To you, I may not be the same person, but I promise you, no matter what, deep down I am still that same man who was here not too long ago."
For the first time since her husband had been overwritten she could feel the tension roll off of her shoulders. She finally smiled softly and looked at him, not with anger, but with appreciation.
"It's Okabe Kurisu now."
It was almost as if nothing was able to shake this man up, he traveled from a worldline where she died to this one and he didn't break for one second. But hearing Kurisu utter the name of the family she had married into revealed the most shocked expression she could have seen.
"Huh?" he dropped his arms. "You mean...you and I...we...?"
The stoic man who had first arrived to the worldline devolved to a bumbling idiot.
"B-but," he continued tripping over his words. "What?!"
She couldn't help laughing at his reaction. "Yes, I chose to marry you, you idiot."
Okabe, at a loss for words chose to lean over the railing and just hang from it. Kurisu mustered up her courage and chose to approach the man once more and lean on the railing with him.
"We've been married for 13 years," she explained to him as she looked out into the city reminiscing on the past. "But it almost feels like you proposed to me yesterday."
She remembered that day, a day she would mark as one of the best days of her life.
"Hey Kurisu," she heard Okabe mumble. "How did I propose to you?"
She rested her chin on her hand and looked back into the past. July 28, 2022, the first day that they had met 12 years prior, it was really romantic now that she looks back on it.
"You asked me out on a date to a Japanese restaurant whose seats you reserved in Santa Monica," she clearly remembers it. "You were actually really anxious at asking me, something that was really out of character for even you. Of course, being curious at why you were so anxious to ask me, I accepted the offer and went on that date with you."
"Santa Monica...?" she heard him mutter under his breath. She just ignored him and continued on with the story.
"Our usual life wouldn't allow us to enjoy ourselves for even a second, but it was refreshing to be able to forget about our problems for that day and just find comfort in each other in a place outside our normal location. That restaurant was pretty fantastic, the chefs were cooking right in front of us and we both just were salivating over the food. At least, I was. Each time I looked over at you it looked like you were just shaking uncontrollably and you could barely hold a conversation with me for longer than a couple sentences."
She let out a small laugh, seeing Okabe act the way he did brought joy to her. Never had she seen the self-proclaimed mad scientist be so awkward around her once they decided to try out the whole dating thing.
"I mean, of course I got pretty upset since you were taking me out on a date, but you were offering very little companionship to show for it. I guess I kinda have to admit, I almost walked out on you that day, but the food was just too good to pass up. Then, out of nowhere, Hououin Kyouma made an appearance, as if you finally had the balls to do something about that disaster date. That's when I got entertained and we started doing the usual bickering like we did back at Akihabara, I was finally having fun because you finally decided to man up."
The nostalgia was killing her, but she wanted to finish her story.
"Then, when it was all said and done, we were getting ready to eat dessert and you suddenly shrieked as if something bit you. You stood up from your seat and called the waiter over because you apparently had something in your Dr. Pepper that seemed unhealthy so you sent her off to get you another one; it almost looked like you were going to complain to the manager for it. I tried calming you down and getting you to sit, but you wouldn't budge and it felt like you just drew in way too many stares for me to not feel embarrassed about anything."
Second-hand embarrassment was kicking in. No matter how great that day was for her, she could never get over what it felt like to have all those people staring at her.
"Then, the waitress came out with just a box that she handed to you as if you knew what you were going to do with it. We finished our dessert then you asked for my hand and pulled me up from my seat saying that you already paid and that it was time to go back to our usual lives. Needless to say, I was kinda sad because it felt like it all ended too soon and I just wasn't ready to go back. But then you just stopped in the middle of our walking out, amidst all the tables, turned to me and got down on one knee."
It was then that she knew what the box was for and she was genuinely surprised at how well Okabe was handling everything up to that point in the date.
"You opened the box and said, 'I may have many names for you: Christina, Assistant, Zombie, Pervy Genius Girl, even using My Darling at times, but there's one thing that I'm yet to call you and I need your help establishing that name for me. Kurisu, will you be my wife?' Looking back on it, your proposal did sound pretty corny, but it was enough to make me the happiest girl on the planet that day."
A single tear made its way down her cheek and onto the streets below them.
"We got married about 8 months later in Tokyo, our lives didn't calm down until that point and it was finally nice to get that out of the way. It felt nice to finally be a part of a whole family again, your mom, dad, and especially you were more than anything I could have ever wished for. Now, 13 years later, I have no regrets about that day or any day following it. No matter what, I knew you were the only one that was going to make me as happy as you did, so I just went for it."
She looked over at Okabe who was peering out at the city with a somber look on his face.
"Sounds like I did a really good job with that proposal," he said. "I'm sorry I don't remember any of it, Kurisu, words can't describe the pain I feel for you. The feeling that you remember something that others don't, it's enough to drive anyone insane."
She finally did what she would have considered unthinkable 5 minutes before. She snuggled under Okabe's left arm and just sat there leaning into him.
"You may not have the memories that we forged together," she whispered next to his chest. "But I now have reason to think that you're still the Okarin I fell in love with all those years ago."
He shuddered when she finished the sentence.
"Hearing you say that nickname," he shivered. "It's really weird hearing it come out of your mouth."
She couldn't stifle a small laugh.
"You can blame yourself for that one," she told him. "You're the one that wanted me to start using it to begin with."
They sat there like that for what felt like an eternity, Okabe with his left arm around Kurisu's shoulders as she leaned into his chest. She wanted it to be like that forever, hoping that maybe, her memories will somehow find their way into his heart, but she knew that wasn't going to happen.
"Kurisu," Okabe said out of nowhere, did he remember? "I'm feeling kinda tired right now."
"Yeah," she responded feeling somewhat disappointed. "I'm ready to fall back to sleep now."
"If I may ask, what woke you up in the first place?"
The Alpha worldline, going through everything that just happened to Okabe right now made her forget about the dream, but it was back at the forefront of her mind.
"Nothing important," she lied. "Let's go back inside, it's pretty cold."
"Even now you choose to lie to spare my feelings, huh?"
He saw right through her, this man was exactly like her husband. No matter how well she masked her lies, Okabe was always able to sniff them out. She looked up at him from within his arms as he looked down at her. Perhaps...perhaps this man could pick up where her husband left off. There was only one last thing she needed to check.
"I'll explain everything tomorrow morning," she said. "For now..."
She pulled Okabe down by the collar and locked her lips to his. He got over the initial surprise and returned the favor to her. Yep, Rintaro Okabe was still a great kisser even in the worldline he was from. Her husband was still here with her, he just can't remember. This was still her Okarin, she believed that now.
They separated and she still felt fulfilled like she had when she usually kisses her husband.
"Still acting like a tsundere from some fanfic, huh?"
His quiet chuckling led to a loud yelp as she stomped on his foot for the remark.
"Now just who are you saying belongs to a fanfic, idiot," she snarled at him but then she realized the mistake she made. "I mean... I don't even know what that means, I could only assume it was an insult based on your tone, is that something you picked up on the Beta worldline?"
She hoped that this Okabe was dense. Didn't want him finding out that she memed the 2channel boards when she had the freetime away from him and the university.
"Nurupo."
"Gah," she quickly responded and then she realized that she had been caught in a trap set by him. "Wait, I didn't mean that."
"I still know of your exploits on 2channel," Okabe laughed then continued his revelation. "'KuriGohan and Kamehameha', you still go by that username, correct?"
She could feel her face flush. She was only capable of pushing him away and pointing angrily at him.
"Don't say that name so loud, idiot! I have a reputation to uphold!"
He yawned. "Who cares about reputation nowadays, it's 2036 for crying out loud."
A flash of her husband just appeared right before her eyes. No matter what he did or what he remembered, this man was still capable of feeling the same way her husband had always felt. He never cared about how he was perceived, he just cared for performing science and preserving the worldline.
"You're still tired aren't you?"
Okabe mindlessly nodded, it seems like he really was absolutely out of it right now.
"Let's get you to bed then, shall we?"
She grabbed him by the hand and led him back down the stairwell into their little piece of heaven. The place wasn't as big as a house, but it surely wasn't as small as the lab or her hotel room back in Akihabara. Kurisu guided him through the living room and into their bedroom.
"Here's where we sleep," she explained to him. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, I have to use the restroom really quick, it doesn't matter if you fall asleep before I come back."
It was another lie. He slightly nodded and proceeded to get under the covers of the bed, looks like he didn't have the energy to challenge her. She softly walked into the bathroom and just sat there for a bit. The bathroom was connected to their bedroom and it was next to the entrance to the room itself. She waited for about 10 minutes just lost in thought and waiting for Okabe to fall asleep, she was sure that if she showed up in bed with him he'd have trouble being able to close his eyes.
When she got out of the bathroom she saw Okabe lit by the soft moonlight piercing their curtains, his tired face apparent now more than ever. He must have gone through absolute hell to get here if he looked like that at 44 years old. His chest moved up and down in a soothed rhythmic pattern, his breathing quiet, his mouth open. She swore that if she didn't go through what she went through moments ago then she wouldn't have been able to tell if her husband had actually been overwritten, everything that this Okabe did was exactly the same.
She finally walked from her spot by the bathroom and climbed into bed with him. Maybe she can find her Okarin in this man again, he had everything but the memories nailed to a tee after all. She snuggled close to him and let herself fall asleep in his warmth.
Yeah, she thought as she drifted to sleep. Okarin's not gone, he's here, he just doesn't know it.
A/N: And now the introductions have been properly set. I'm going to start taking a lot more freedom from the SciADV universe in the remaining chapters considering I don't and can't know everything about the universe as a whole (looking at you Chaos; series). Chapter 4 is in the works, but it may take a little longer to come out since there's so much I want to do at once and I really don't want to sacrifice pacing to fit everything in at once. You'll get the notification anyway. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, if you want to write reviews about this you can, I'm always open to learning about what people think about the writing.
~Quil