A/N: I hope everyone had a happy Christmas/holidays! Thank you SOO much to all who took time to review. Another very long chapter for you all...everyone is reunited and sparks fly! To answer some reviews- yes, we will definitely have more scenes of Jamie as a father interweaved throughout the whole story and how his 18th century parenting interacts with Ellie's 21st century ideals. :)

Chapter 24:

"Are you nervous?" John asked her as he helped her down. They had left William with the guide with strict instructions to behave. John wanted to make sure that he prepared Jamie before seeing Willie again. And John wanted to make sure that Eleanor had enough time with her own children before involving William in the family reunion.

Eleanor nodded, shifting a sleeping Hope. "I am their mother, but what if they don't want me here?" she paused, "and what if Jamie looks at Hope and knows that she is his?"

He frowned, "I do not think that is possible. And you are still their mother no matter how they respond to you," John said, his voice gentle.

She bit her lip and stood frozen. They could see the smoke coming from the chimney and Eleanor knew they were close.

"Now this moment is here," Eleanor swallowed hard, "I am excited, but scared. So very scared. They aren't going to know me. I'm going to be the outsider. They have a home and a routine. They have had months together...and I.." her lip trembled.

"Here," he extended his hand. "Let me have your hand," he said. She put hers in his. "There we are," he squeezed her hand. "Be strong, my dear."

She nodded and swallowed hard and allowed him to guide her through the woods, hand in hand. Her stomach was twisting, anxious with seeing the children and Jamie.

"It will work out," his voice was low. "Don't fear what is to come."

She nodded, her eyes fixed ahead. They saw the cabin. "Will you take Hope for me?"

"Of course," he said, "Look at me, Eleanor."

She put Hope into his arms and looked into his eyes.

"Everything will be well, if not today, in time," He held her gaze for a few minutes, Eleanor finding strength from him.

"Thank you," she nodded.

John smiled at her. "I'll be right behind you. I promise."

Eleanor picked up her pace. And in the distance she saw a little boy running out to her, his red curls flopping as he ran.

"Mac!"

Eleanor began to run towards him.

They met in the yard and Mac launched himself into her arms, Eleanor picking him up and hugging him tightly against her. "James MacKenzie Fraser, how I have missed you."

"Mama," Mac cried, burying his face in her shoulder. "I have missed ye ever so much."

"Oh my baby," Eleanor cried back, "Let me look at you. Oh my love, how big you are," she kissed him and he kissed her back, Eleanor's heart melting. She walked through the clearing still holding Mac in her arms. She knew he was too old for it, but she could put him down, not yet...her firstborn with Jamie.

She saw Jamie come down the steps of the cabin, hand in hand with her other two children. Tears splattered down his face, much like her own. She knew the scene moved him as much as it did her.

Eleanor eased Mac down and took him by the hand. She leaned down to whisper in his ear, "Will you help me with your brother and sister?" she asked.

"Aye, mama," he nodded, seriously.

Eleanor approached Jamie and smiled at him. He nodded to her and she bent down.

"Hello," she reached for Sam's hand. "Sam," she kissed his hand. "You probably don't remember me. You were so little."

His eyes studied her and then looked to Mac. "That's mama, Sam," Mac whispered to him. "Isn't she bonny? I told ye she was."

Sam nodded, his eyes wide. She looked up at Jamie, who winked at her. She looked back at Sam. "It's okay, love if you don't remember. We'll get to know each other again. I love you." she reached to kiss his head and his arms came around her.

"Mama, Da and Mac and Ian told me all aboot ye," Sam said.

Eleanor hugged him tightly, "I am so glad they did."

She looked over to Rosie, whom was taken from her so young...and was now a little girl. "Hello, sweetheart."

Rosie clung to Jamie's leg and Eleanor rubbed her arm, tears springing to her eyes. Jamie tried to dislodge her from his leg as Eleanor straightened. She leaned to give Rosie a quick kiss on the head.

"It's okay, Rosie." She looked back towards where John was standing in the yard. Their eyes met and Eleanor gave him a helpless look. He nodded at her.

She turned her attention back to Jamie, who had noticed the exchange between Eleanor and his friend, who very comfortably holding Eleanor's child. He studied her carefully.

"Hello, Jamie," Her voice caught. "It is good to see you."

"Eleanor, mo ghraidh," Jamie leaned into kiss her cheek in greeting, "Thank Christ. I am verra glad to see have prayed daily fer yer safe return to us. Welcome to Fraser's Ridge."

She smiled at him. "It's a beautiful piece of land."

"Aye, tis that," Jamie said, picking up Rosie, who was tugging at his leg.

"Mama, I have so much to tell ye," Mac tugged at her skirt.

Eleanor leaned down to kiss him again, "And Mama wants to hear all about it, Mac."

"I gots lots to tell ye too, mama!" Sam said and Eleanor turned to give her other son a kiss. "I want to hear all about it too, Sam!"

"But first," Jamie said, giving both his son's a stern look, "We have another guest. Do ye not see?"

"Come, boys, your Da is right. I want you to meet someone...actually two people," Eleanor said. She took each of her son's by the hand and she and Jamie went to greet John, who was still holding Hope, who was currently gnawing at John's jacket.

"Oh dear," Eleanor laughed at the sight.

"Yes," John smiled at her. "I am afraid we did not time this well."

Jamie looked between them, "The bairn is hungry, then?" he asked.

"She can wait a moment, especially if she is not screaming," Eleanor leaned down to hold each boy by the hand, pulling them towards her. "Mac. Sam. I want you to meet your sister."

"A lass, then," Jamie said.

"Indeed. I thought you would have known," Eleanor said, looking over at Jamie.

She let go of their hands and went to take Hope from John, "Thank you."

"Of course," John said, who then turned to greet Jamie who had extended his hand.

"Boys," Eleanor leaned down with Hope. "This is Hope Emmeline."

Rosie had wiggled down and toddled over to approach the others. "Baby?" she asked.

"Yes, this is your baby sister Hope, Rose."

"Rosie like babies."

"I'm so glad," she said, tears springing again to her eyes.

"She is bonny, Mama," Mac said. "May I hold her?"

"Of course, you may. But maybe after we go inside. I also have someone else I want you to meet. Sam," she reached for his hand, "You have never met your godfather, Lord John."

"That's Lord John?" Mac asked, with awe in his voice. "Da talks about him."

"Yes," Eleanor smiled at her son, "I know he would like to meet you as well. And you, Rosie."

"Indeed, I would," John said, crouching down beside her to get on the children's eye level. "It's a pleasure to make all of your acquaintances."

"Verra nice to meet you, Lord John," Mac bowed and then extended his hand, Sam copying his brother's movements, much to Eleanor's delight. She and John looked at each other, both stifling laughter, before John took Mac's hand with one hand and Sam's with the other.

"You as well as your Mama has told me all about you, Mac." He turned to Sam, "And you Sam. And you Rosie," he looked at each of them. "I am delighted to finally meet you all."

Jamie cleared his throat. "Mac, will ye no take Rosie and Sam in to see Claire? Ask her to have you wash your hands and tell her that Mama is goin to need to feed yer sister soon."

"Aye, Da," Mac nodded and took each of his siblings by the hand. "Ye arena leavin, are ye Mama?"

"No, sweetheart," Eleanor said, planting another kiss on his head as John rose and then offered his hand to her to help her straighten, balancing Hope in her arms.

She shifted the bairn and Jamie took a step towards her. "May I see her?"

Eleanor's stomach twisted, "Of course, you may."

"Hope," Jamie said. "That is a bonny name for a wee lassie," he said, as his hand reached to cradle her head, studying the bairn. "She is bonny, lass. How is she doin?"

"Well," Eleanor said, "Not sleeping well, but I am managing."

"Perhaps, Claire and I can help ye tonight, so ye can get some rest," Jamie said. "Ye are lookin shattered, Eleanor."

She nodded, "If you'd like."

"She's bald," Jamie commented.

Eleanor struggled not to look at John, who had also come by her side.

"Not uncommon, I would think," John said, "but I am no expert."

"I think I was as a baby," Eleanor said, quietly.

"Aye, yer right. Tis not uncommon, just a surprise. Emmeline," Jamie mused, "that is a verra English name. What made ye think of it?"

"Lord John suggested it," Eleanor said, "I was stuck so I asked for the assistance of her godfather."

Jamie paused, "Then, Lord John is her godfather?"

Eleanor froze and glanced at John, who inched even closer to her. "He is Sam's godfather as well and since he had done so much for me in the past few months and since we are such close friends," Eleanor frowned, "I did not think I had to ask any one's permission."

"Aye, but..." Jamie paused, "I dinnae think Murtagh..."

"I am the one raising the child, Jamie," Eleanor countered, a flush rising.

"But dinnae ye think that..."

"You all left me there in Jamaica for months!" she shifted Hope onto her shoulder. "I cannot even believe you would question my choice."

"I would like to make sure the memory of my godfather is honored and ye seem content to do the opposite."

"Can we not even be together for ten minutes before you lay into me for one thing or another?" Eleanor's tears came to her eyes.

"Jamie, William is here," John blurted out.

Eleanor let out her breath as Jamie's attention turned from her and Hope to John.

"Is he now?"

"Yes, and I told him to stay out of trouble, but I would like to fetch him. I just wanted to warn you before I did."

"Of course," Jamie shifted, "I'd love to see the lad again."

"I do not know if he will recognize you," John said.

"What does he know of Eleanor and I and the children...?"

"We tried to explain it the best way we could," Eleanor said. "John couldn't very well leave him in Jamaica. He is still a boy."

"Of course no. He is welcome here...always," Jamie said, adamantly. "But I just assumed he would stay with his mother."

John cleared his throat. "There is much to catch you up with. I see our letter did not make it to you."

"No," Jamie's voice was low.

Eleanor shifted Hope, "I think I will go and greet Claire and feed Hope." She turned to John. "Will you tell William where I am? I want him to be comfortable in his new surroundings." She lightly touched his arm.

"Of course, I will make certain of it."

She left without another look at Jamie.

John watched her leave, "Isobel passed away on the ship to Jamaica."

Jamie let out his breath, "I am so verra sorry fer it, John."

"Yes, it has been a trying time for all," John said. "There is so much to tell you, Jamie. I fear you will not be happy with all of it."

They continued to walk in silence before Jamie said,

"I dinna mean to seem so harsh with the lass," Jamie told him. "I ken ye think it was badly done."

"You should apologize to her, not to me," John countered as Jamie walked with him. "And it doesn't matter what I think. I am not your conscience, Jamie."

"Aye, I ken," Jamie nodded. "But so often ye point me in the right way."

"As you do the same for me, my friend," John said.

"I will apologize to Eleanor," Jamie said, "Striving for harmony between Eleanor and I has not be easy."

"How can it be when there is still so much unsettled betwix the two of you?" John commented. "Ah, there he is. Oh, dear me."

"Papa, get them off of me!" William cried, his foot covered in leeches.

"What do we have here?" Claire asked as Jamie and John dragged William in, Ian close behind. Eleanor was finishing up feeding Hope, and with her free arm building blocks on the table with Sam and Mac. Rosie had been tugging for Claire to lift her up. Jamie immediately went to pick up his daughter.

Eleanor quickly finished with Hope and fixed her shirt, putting Hope over her shoulder to burp. She gave both the boys a pat before rising to see what was wrong with William.

"Leeches," Jamie said as they sat William down at the table.

"Oh they won't hurt you," Claire said. "It's best just to let them detatch."

Mac went over to look, "Eww. I had them on me once too. They came off me."

"Aye and if I remember correctly, ye were none too happy aboot it at the time," Jamie said, ruffling his son's hair. "I had to hold ye the entire time."

"I don't like them," William said. "Get them off of me."

"William," John frowned. "Watch your tone."

Eleanor shifted Hope onto her other shoulder as she sat down next to William. "William," she said, her voice low. "I would be upset too. They look like horrid creatures, even if I am sure they have their purposes. If they are that troublesome to you, then I would ask Madam Fraser if she can come up with another solution. She is a healer so I am sure she has many solutions to this."

William cleared his throat, "Madam Fraser, is there another way we can get them off of me?" he asked politely.

Claire smiled, "Of course, if it bothers you that much."

Eleanor slid off the bench and began to pat Hope's back. She went to John, inclining her head.

He turned his back to William as Eleanor leaned into his ear, "Do you think Isobel was treated with leeches on the ship?"

John grew pale. "I did not think of that."

"I don't think he is being overly theatrical or pampered. I think there is a reason for this reaction."

John nodded and then went to sit on the bench by his son, his hand on his back.

Eleanor shifted Hope, who then spit up all over her and soiled her diaper. "Oh, lovely." She scrunched up her face. "Hope Emmeline...your timing is always impeccable."

Jamie caught her eye. "I see the lassie has already made herself at home," he chuckled. "Come, Rosie, let's help Mama find her bag so she can change Hope and maybe herself."

Rosie giggled, "My baby no do that."

Ellie laughed and then reached to smooth down her hair, "Count yourself lucky then, little one."

Jamie chuckled at the two of them as he and Eleanor stepped outside. "Which one is yours?"

"Blue trunk," she said. "But let's not take all of this in. I'll just grab what I need."

Jamie helped her open it and Eleanor began to rifle through the contents.

"I see ye got yerself some new dresses," Jamie commented.

"My clothes were so worn from traveling and while John was governor, he wanted me to attend some of his soirees with him," Eleanor said. "Surely, you don't object," she said.

"No, of course not," Jamie said, "I just wish...I dinnae ken that ye liked such fine things."

"Hum," Eleanor found the clothes for Hope along with extra blanket, "I do like them, but that doesn't mean I wasn't completely content with our life at Lallybroch." She stood and went over to the porch.

"Here," Eleanor laid a blanket down on the porch. "I will just change her here. It is already chaotic in there with the leeches."

He chuckled, "Aye, maybe a gut idea."

He sat down with Rosie on the steps, close by them.

"What were ye telling John?"

Eleanor began to change Hope. "I just thought maybe there was a reason for William's reaction beyond just being...you know...an Earl."

"Aye," Jamie nodded. "He had always been pampered though."

"He's a good boy, Jamie, when you get to know him past the pompous attitude," she met his eyes. "It's been a pleasure getting to know him better. Truly."

"I'm glad fer it," Jamie said. "Do ye think Lady Isobel was treated with leeches?"

She nodded.

"That was insightful of ye, Ellie," Jamie commented.

"I am glad that you think I do still have some good qualities, James," she said, wryly.

"Lass," his voice was low.

"Yes?" she asked, pinning the new diaper on the baby.

"I am sorry aboot earlier. I dinna have the right to question ye like that."

"Don't worry about it," she said. "I didn't mean what I said earlier...well, not really..." she gave him a wry look.

"We will strive to do better for the children, aye?"

"Of course," she nodded, smiling at Hope. "We can always strive to do better."

"It will take some adjustment, I ken. Fer us all."

She looked over at him. "It's been quite a few months."

"John alluded to that," Jamie said. "I look forward to hearing all aboot it when ye are ready."

She nodded. "I'm sorry Ian is not here."

"Aye, I ken ye are. And he will be sorry not to have been here to greet ye properly. But he will be verra glad to greet ye when he does return in a few days."

She smiled at Jamie. "As will I."

Jamie grunted, moving his chess piece, "I thought I told ye lads to get in bed."

"We wanted to see Mama one more time," Mac defended, Sam next to him.

"I already tucked you in three times already," Eleanor countered as she drank her tea, in conversation with Claire, who had been rocking Rosie to sleep. Hope rested against her. "And Da read you that new story that Lord John brought for us."

"Is William in bed?" John asked.

"Aye, Lord John, and he said not to come in again," Mac said, "but we wanted to see Mama just one more time."

"Because the other two times were not sufficient?" Jamie asked, his eyes on his sons. "Mac, what have I said aboot bedtime?"

"I should count if I am not feelin sleepy, but Sam is too little to count that high and if he is awake, I am awake." Mac countered.

Eleanor stifled a giggle.

"Canny like his mama," Jamie told John, wryly.

She put Hope in the cradle and then moved it closer to where Jamie and John were playing chess. "Here, Hope, you can watch. Maybe that will make you sleepy especially with how long it takes both of them to plan their strategy. I wouldn't do that move if I were you, James," she said as Jamie went to move his piece.

"Is that so?" Jamie asked as Eleanor went to retrieve the hands of the boys.

"One more time, little boys and that is it," Eleanor said, squeezing their hands. "Actually, Mama might climb in bed with you and tell you a story."

"If ye are startin that with them, Eleanor, then we might have a problem," Jamie raised an eyebrow at her.

"Just for a bit," Eleanor said. "And if they get out of bed again then," she gave her sons a look.

"Aye, Mama."

Jamie rose and went over to them. He knelt and gave each boy a hug and kiss. "I love ye rascals, but if ye get out of bed again, we will have a wee discussion aboot it, ye ken?"

"Aye, Da," Mac nodded, seriously.

"Aye, Da," Sam said.

"Verra gut," he kissed them both again before Eleanor led them back to their bed.

Jamie and John continued with their game and Hope was content until she wasn't. John looked over to her and then glanced at Jamie. Jamie had been sneaking looks at her all through the chess game, trying to be discreet, but John had picked up on it right away. Claire had gone to place Rosie in her bed and Jamie didn't bother moderating his expression as he studied her, crying in her cradle.

When John realized that Jamie wasn't going to move to pick up the baby, he did so.

"What is the matter, little one?" John reached into pick up the child, holding her against him and patting her back, Hope settling almost immediately.

Jamie's back had stiffened.

"Would you like to hold her?" John asked. "I didn't mean to overstep...it's just if you catch her cries early enough, then it is much better in the long run. She has a strong set of lungs, this little one."

"No, you are her godfather," Jamie countered, gruffly.

"Jamie," John's voice was low. "If there is something you wish to say to me, then just say it."

Jamie opened his mouth, but Claire had come back in.

Eleanor came back much later.

"Both of the lads asleep?" Jamie asked.

"Yes, and I may have fallen asleep as well," Eleanor said, yawning. "How's Hope?" she asked John, who was still holding her.

"She may need to be fed again, but we tried to stave her off as long as we could."

"I'm sorry she got fussy," Eleanor said as John stood and transferred the baby into her arms.

"Not to worry," John said. "She settled down again."

"Thank you for helping with her."

"Of course, Eleanor," he nodded at her as he sat back down.

Eleanor leaned back over the board and then whispered to John a move.

"Since when did ye become so knowledgeable about chess?" Jamie asked, his eyes on her.

"Lord John taught me," Eleanor smiled.

"Did he now?" Jamie looked between them.

"I did," John cleared his throat, "And she is the most worthy of opponents, I assure you."

"Then ye and I should have a match sometime," Jamie's eyes met hers. "If I had ken ye wanted to learn, I would have taught ye years ago."

"I didn't really know I wanted to learn," Eleanor countered. "We should have a match sometime, but I should warn you, Lord John has taught me well."

"I would have no doubt that he did a thorough job of it," Jamie said, with a raised eyebrow.

She went to sit next to Claire who had reheated her tea. She covered Hope as she fed her.

"Are bedtimes always this difficult?" she asked.

"Yes, usually," Claire nodded. "Jamie has been really patient with the children, but I think now that you are here, he is going to want to set up stronger routines."

"Do they talk about..." her voice trailed off as she allowed Hope to grasp her pinky while nursing. "what happened?"

"Yes, some. Mac more," Claire said. "Sam and Rosie were too young to process it."

Her eyes closed tightly, "Thank you for being here for them."

"Of course," Claire said. "I love them too, Eleanor."

"I know you do," she said. "Have the tantrums started yet with the boys?"

"Occasionally," Claire said, "Jamie often puts a stop to it quickly."

"They always responded to him so well," Eleanor said, "One look from Da and the boys turned around."

"He is a good father," Claire said. "He's very tender with the children."

She nodded, "I know."

"Have you thought about the future?" Claire asked, her voice low.

She nodded. "I do not think Jamie will like it."

"Jamie usually will come around if it is truly the best course," Claire offered.

Eleanor looked over and Jamie caught her eye.

"I think I need to go to bed and John and Jamie could be playing chess for hours more."

"Of course," Claire said. "You look tired."

"I am weary. Traveling with a newborn is not easy."

"I can only imagine," Claire nodded. Eleanor lifted the baby and began to pat her back. Claire looked over at the baby, "She doesn't look sleepy though."

Eleanor frowned and shifted the baby, "No, I thought she would fall asleep while nursing."

"I am going to stay up longer, I don't mind taking her," Claire said. "If you don't mind."

She looked over to John, who met her eyes. He nodded at her, discreetly.

"Of course, I don't mind," Eleanor said. "She might need changing soon though."

"I am sure we can manage," Claire said,"Get some rest. Doctors orders."

She smiled at her, handing her the baby, "Goodnight then, Claire."

"Goodnight Eleanor."

Jamie had risen and went over to give her a kiss on the cheek, "Goodnight, Eleanor. We are verra glad ye are finally with us. Ye and the bairn."

"Thank you. Goodnight, James."

She turned to John, "Lord John. Sleep well."

"Pleasant dreams, Madam Fitzgibbons," he smiled at her.

She took one last look at the others, before headed to a much needed good night sleep.

John decided to go to bed soon after that and Claire and Jamie were left, sitting by the fire, Claire still rocking Hope.

"Ye tired, Sassenach?" Jamie asked.

"I am," she said.

"I can take the bairn for a bit, if ye want to get some rest. I want to give Eleanor more time. She doesna look like herself."

"I noticed that too," Claire said, "It could just be traveling."

"Aye," Jamie nodded and Claire shifted the bairn into his arms. Hope wiggled but then settled right down against the warmth of Jamie's chest. "Claire?"

"Yes, Jamie?"

"Have ye noticed a change between Ellie and Lord John?"

Claire paused, "There is a familiarity there, but they spent so many months together, I would think that would be natural."

"She looks to him when she is uncertain. It has happened quite a bit today."

Claire went to kneel down to where Jamie was sitting. "This must all have to be hard for her, Jamie. Rosie isn't warming to her yet and while it has only been hours, I know it must break her heart. Finding the routine with the boys and stepping into the life we are making, it's natural, she would be having moments of trouble. Lord John is a sympathetic soul and he clearly is fond of Eleanor. If she needs to lean on him to make this transition, then why would that bother you?"

"John won't always be here," Jamie said.

"I know," Claire said, "But let Eleanor have her friends, Jamie. You cannot deny her that."

"Aye," Jamie leaned up to give her a kiss on the lips before she headed to their bed.

Jamie shifted Hope in his arms. "Let's have a gut look at ye, lassie," he said. Hope's eyes opened wide. He studied her carefully. "Yer brothers and sister all had hair when they were wee bairns, ye ken."

Hope began to fuss and Jamie picked her back up to pat her back, "I dinnae mean to hurt yer feelings. Yer hair will grow. A bonny brown color like yer mama's or perhaps..." he paused. "I made a right fine mess of things, lassie. But regardless, it dinnae means that ye are not loved. I never want ye to think that. Because ye are. Verra much. Regardless." He paused, "And I dinnae want ye to think that it wasna out of love, because it was. Ye will never ken the love yer Mama and I shared, not like Mac kens or even Sam. But it was real, Hope, leannan. It was. And if I am yer..." Jamie paused, "yer mama saved my soul again that night. Dinnae doubt that it was out of love. And I will love ye, no matter what. I canna keep the vows I made to yer mama, but I will keep the vow I make to ye tonight." He kissed the bairn on the head. "On my honor."

"Thank ye for traveling with Eleanor and bringing her here...and Willie," Jamie told John the next morning after breakfast, "It means the world to me to see the lad again."

John nodded, "Naturally, I would never permit Eleanor to make the trip by herself, with the baby being so young."

Jamie glanced at him. Something about his tone, surprised him. He had noticed it when Eleanor arrived and in the way he was interacting with her. It was almost like he was determined to shield her from him. And there was an intimacy and a bond between the two of them- a friendship and loyalty long in the making, but fiercely evident in the present.

"I am so sorry about Lady Isobel. She was a dear woman, very special."

"Indeed," John nodded, "It has been difficult as you can imagine, especially for William, who was there when it happened. He has relied quite heavily on Eleanor as have I during this difficult time."

"Is that so?"

"Surely that does not surprise you," John said.

"No, of course it does not. Eleanor has a rare soul," Jamie commented, brushing along the branches.

"One that you still appreciate," John commented, with a raised eyebrow.

"Aye," Jamie grunted. "Of course. I canna just turn off my affection for the woman who restored my soul and bore me three beautiful bairns."

"And what does the first Madam Fraser say about that?"

"She understands...or tries to," Jamie let out a breath, "She is fond of Eleanor on Ellie's own merits as well. They have a kinship beyond me once they both got over their jealousy."

"And are you quite certain that Eleanor is over that jealousy?"

"I dinnae think she has a choice but to be," Jamie said.

"That is terribly unfair for her, don't you think?"

"Aye," Jamie said. "I dinnae deny it. When Murtagh was alive, he was able to soothe her some, their friendship was deep, but now..."

"As fond as Eleanor was of her husband, I do think it was beastly to encourage that union to begin with."

"Do ye think?" Jamie said, quietly, his jaw twitching.

"Oh, it was highly practical and purposeful, but do you not think it as traumatic for Eleanor to jump from one bed to another after bearing yer child only three months before?"

Jamie was taken aback, "Aye, I ken it was, but she made her choice. I dinnae like it at the time. I could only trust Murtagh to be understanding enough with her feelings to make it work. Otherwise, I would have put my foot down."

"And which Madam Fraser would you have chosen if Eleanor had not chosen for you?"

He paused, "Our bairns are so young."

"Eleanor knew your sense of duty would have required what your heart could not give."

"The lass was well cared for and loved in our marriage," Jamie grunted. "Dinnae think she wasna."

"I do not doubt it for I was witness to it," John said, quietly, "It is only in her lowest moments that she implies otherwise."

Jamie sighed. "I ken she is hurt deeply. I dinnae ken how to make it well for her or fer myself for that matter. It keeps me up in the wee hours of the night. I have Claire and my world should be right again and in a way it is, but in a way, it can never be."

"For Eleanor still has a hold on part of your heart."

"Aye," Jamie nodded, "I willna deny it. A considerable hold. And to see her so...altered...I want to make it right for her again, but I cannae do that any longer."

"Yes, and now that Mr. Fizgibbons is gone...what will become of her?"

"We still have children together."

"Of course," John retorted, "But surely you see how difficult this situation has become. Eleanor cannot bear to see your closeness with Claire and not have a reaction each and every time. And you cannot deny her that right to feel upset."

"She chose fer us, John," Jamie said, his voice low.

"I do not think she felt that she had a choice but to give you up. Eleanor loves you so." He folded his hands behind him as he walked, "And you could have stopped her if you had wished to."

Jamie coughed a bit, "Ye have quite the interest in Eleanor."

"I do not deny it. As I said, she has become quite dear to me during her time with us," John folded his hands and turned to his friend, "I'd like to take her to Virginia with me."

"Ye would take Eleanor to Virginia?" Jamie swallowed hard, "Fer what purpose?"

"For the purpose of being my wife," John said, calmly. "We'll wait the appropriate mourning period but then we shall be wed. It is the only sensible thing to be done about this dreadful situation."

"No," Jamie's voice was harsh. "It isna sensible at all. It is foolish!"

"How is it foolish?" John titled his head, "Foolish in that you cannot see that Eleanor and I are well suited to each other?"

"Well suited?" Jamie snorted. "No, I willna allow it."

"Eleanor has agreed."

"Eleanor is over wrought and not thinking clearly." Jamie said."As for ye..." Jamie rounded on his friend, "Ye canna possibly give Eleanor what she needs."

"Is that so?" John asked, evenly. "You had absolutely no qualms suggesting that she stay with me in Jamaica. If you trusted me with her then, then why not now?"

"Ye canna have a proper marriage with her, man," Jamie said, turning around to face him, "And believe me, a woman like Eleanor needs one."

John raised his eyebrows. "And you truly think that she had that with Mister Fitzgibbons- a man who could have easily been her father?"

"Murtagh had been known to be popular with the lassies from time to time," Jamie said, wryly.

"Great God in heaven, James Fraser," John looked up to the skies. "If you doubt my virility, just have the compunction to say it."

"Clearly, we both ken yer preferences lie elsewhere and since ye and Isobel dinnae have an heir, what am I to think?" Jamie retorted. "If it dinnae work with yer first marriage, what in God's name makes ye think that it will work with Eleanor?"

John froze and stalked towards him. When he spoke his voice was low, but cutting in the way John often got when irritated, "As you very well know, it wasn't my choice betwix Isobel and I. There were other factors involved. But I can assure you that in regards to Eleanor...if Eleanor, as my wife, is in want of passion, I will give her whatever she wishes...in whatever manner that she wishes it. Is it my first inclination? No, but I will be a proper husband to her in every way possible and do not doubt that if she desires to come to my bed every single night of our marriage, I will never be the one to deny her. I will welcome to her to it. And rest assured, I will not allow her to leave from it wanting. So I beg you, Jamie, do not fear in that regard. I am more than capable of performing my husbandly duties," He patted his arm, hard.

Jamie's stance stiffened and he looked like he was about read to pummel John. "Is that so?" he growled.

"Tis so. And that's really what you cannot stand. The thought of Eleanor in my bed. Is that right? You would have here living here pining after you to the end of her days even if it breaks her heart, you selfish, arrogant fool."

"Even so, ye canna possibly give her what she truly needs," Jamie said. "A man who desires her."

"You are making quite a number of assumptions," John countered. "I do not anticipate our marriage being platonic, unless that is what she desires. And as far as myself is concerned, you do not know what I desire."

"I can pretty much assume it is not her," Jamie said.

"You know nothing!" John retorted, heatedly. "Do you have any idea what the past few months have been like, Jamie? Or do you simply not care?" John asked, his fists clenched, beginning to walk again."It wasn't my name she was crying for in the fits of labour. Hours on end, Fraser. Delirious with pain. Crying for you. Do not presume to tell me what or whatnot Eleanor needs because I was there..." he turned suddenly and put his fist on Jamie's chest, "and you were not."

Jamie's face had gone white. "mo ghraidh...God forgive me. I would have gone to her. I would have no matter what the consequences."

"I know that and moreover, she does too," John's tone softened, "But the matter is, you could not have gone to her then and you cannot go to her now. But I did go to her then and I can go to her now."

"You went to her," Jamie's voice betrayed nothing.

"Yes, I could not bear to hear the panic in her voice, so I went to her. She almost died, Jamie. She said you made her a vow. So..." he looked out the corner of his eye, "I arranged it so you could be held fast to that vow..."

Jamie stilled, "Did she almost die?" his voice caught. "How?"

"The babe was breech. I had to move heaven and earth to get someone to turn the child so she could deliver. The midwife had said nothing could be done for her. And when I found someone who would do it, I had to hold her down as she fought me and screamed from unbearable pain."

"My God," Jamie's eyes held unshed tears, "She does look frail. I thought it was from traveling and the bairn being so young. Was she really that bad off?"

"Yes, it was hell, Jamie," John said, his eyes boring into Jamie's, "But at the end of it...there was Hope."

"Hope," Jamie ran his hands through his hair.

"Hope..." John titled his head, "When one despairs of hope, they can do things that are beneath their characters, things they cannot imagine possible. Hope was quite a fitting name for the little one, don't you agree?"

Jamie let out a long breath, "She told ye of..."

"Ah, yes, she did."

"It is not entirely certain, ye ken. Eleanor...she hasn't said."

"Of course not, she is ashamed of the possibility, Jamie. You were free from your obligation in that moment, she was not. She has struggled since. Do you know how much? She is wracking herself over the coals. She thought that she was being punished for giving into you on that bloody ship. And that she was going to die because of it."

Jamie sat down on a log and buried his head in his hands. "She has always felt things so deeply."

"Yes, she has," John said, his tone softening, knowing his message had penetrated Jamie at the core.

"I dinnae ken what to do to help her."

"She isn't herself," John said. "That was clear from me from the moment I saw her again."

"No," Jamie sighed and looked up. "She hasna been in the longest time. It's like I took the light from her, between Claire coming back and the bairns being taken. That moment on the ship, I saw a glimpse of the woman I fell in love with. And she made me feel again...just like she did when we were first wed. I was selfish and it was unforgivable of me."

"Let her become herself again. I can help her, Jamie. She has to have space from you to be free to be who she is."

"But her freedom will be at a great cost to yers," Jamie said. "It is not yer responsibility to fix my errors of judgement, John."

"To be honest," John said, sitting next to Jamie on the log. "I do not think I am doing this for you. There would be a time when that statement would not be true as I think I would do anything for you...but this...this is for Eleanor, for she is dear to me as well."

"I ken she has always been," Jamie acknowledged, "but the bairns...we must be a family fer them...to help them heal. I will build Eleanor a cabin. She and Claire will just have to learn to abide by each other."

"And you and Eleanor?" John asked. "It will always be a struggle while Eleanor feels outnumbered. In the long run if Eleanor feels content and not so much of an outsider, then it will be better for all involved, including the children." John paused, "Will you at least not speak to Eleanor about it? Gather her perspective on it? If it seems at all dissimilar to mine, then you will know your answer. But if it seems in line to what I have said, then you can see that this is indeed what both Eleanor and I desire."

"Verra weel," Jamie sighed. "I'm sorry aboot questioning yer..." he shifted, uncomfortably, "ability to produce an heir."

John raised an eyebrow, "Count yourself lucky we did not come to blows over it."

"I would not have blamed ye."

"Yes," John nodded, "But I knew it came from a sense of concern over Eleanor. Do you doubt my character?"

"Of course I dinnae," Jamie said. "Ye are right- the thought of ye with Eleanor does bother me."

"Then," John said, rising, "you'll just have to get over it, Fraser. Ellie has to see you take Claire to your bed at night while she falls asleep alone. Do you not think it bothers her?"

He walked away without another word.

"Ellie, lass, will ye please join me for a walk? Take the bairn with ye if ye are worried about her."

Eleanor frowned and Claire interceded, "I can take Hope if you'd like Eleanor."

Ellie glanced at John who had come in behind Jamie. He gave her an exasperated look and she grunted, handing the babe to Claire, "She's just been fed. Thank you."

"Happy to," Claire said.

"Mama, don't leave," Mac wrapped his arm around her waist and Samuel looked scared as well.

"I'm just going for a walk with your Da, my loves," Ellie declared as she bent down to look both of her sons in the eyes.

"Aye," Jamie reached to ruffle both of his sons heads, "Mama is right. We just need to talk a bit. Dinnae fash, lads. I will take good care of yer mama on our walk."

The boys nodded and Claire coaxed them over to the table and reached for some treats for them.

"Get your wrap, lassie. It's raw out," Jamie said. "I'll wait fer ye on the porch." Eleanor went to retrieve her wrap, John meeting her by the hook. He helped her with her wrap, whispering in her ear, "He is in rare form, Eleanor. Do take care."

Eleanor grunted, "I can handle Jamie."

She stepped out onto the porch and then she walked in step with Jamie out into the woods.

When they were a bit from the cabin, he turned on his heels, stopping her abruptly. "ye canna be serious."

Eleanor let out a breath, "James."

"Eleanor," he countered.

She put a hand on her hip, "You no longer have a say in my decisions."

Jamie's eyebrows widened, "Are ye no the mother of my children? Did I not make ye a promise all those years ago for yer safety and protection a wellbeing? Am I not heid of this family?"

"I have four children now, Jamie and I am not married. How does that look?"

"You are a widow."

"You are the father of three of them! How do I explain that? How do we explain that? I can take them with me to Virginia. John and I can raise them with Willie."

"NO! Ye willna take my children from me after we just got them back. They need to be settled- and that means with ye and with me."

"What would you have me to do?" Eleanor cried. "John made me a decent offer, much better than I deserve."

"He's..." Jamie paused, "Ye canna be happy with a man like that."

"He's a dear friend to both of us or have you forgotten?"

"I ken he is, lassie," Jamie held up his hand. "but, fer God's sake, woman, must I say it?"

"I know where his persuasions lie and I don't care. He was heartbroken over Isabel's passing. And I don't need sex to be satisfied in a marriage."

"You do!" Jamie took a step towards her, "it meant as much to ye as it did to me."

"Did it mean anything to you?" Eleanor asked, cooly.

"Ye ken it did! Stop with this nonsense."

"I can't. I can't stop this nonsense. And moreover, you cannot either. Don't you see? It was bad enough before the ship. Now it is impossible."

"Is the bairn...?" Jamie paused, white lipped. "Do ye ken?"

"How would I know?" Eleanor threw up her hands. "There is no DNA test."

"We were wrong. I was out of my mind. It rests on me, not on ye."

"It rests very much on me," Eleanor snapped. "I allowed it. And I hate myself for it. It would have been better for all if I had just died in childbirth."

Jamie's eyes widened. "Damn you, women. Do not ever say that to me again!" Jamie pushed her against the tree. "Look at me." He shook her hard. "That is enough. Do you hear me?"

Eleanor swallowed hard as he forced her to look at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't truly mean it. It would just have made things less complicated if I had."

"ach, mo ghraidh," he reached out to smooth her hair, tenderly. "Less complicated, but not better. My own mother died in childbirth, ye ken. I wouldna wish that fate on my children."

"Oh, Jamie, I forgot," Eleanor said. "I mean, I knew, but I forgot. Forgive me?"

He forced a smile, "Forgiven."

"Still," Eleanor looked in his eyes, "This...between you and me...it's so hard."

"But the wee uns need ye. Ye have just reunited with them."

Eleanor gently untangled herself from Jamie's grasp. She went over to sit on a fallen branch.

"Rosie has no idea who I am. Sam barely remembers me. It is only Mac, who acts excited that I am here."

"You are still their mama, mo ghraidh."

"Claire is more of their mama then I can be. She has been with them for these past few months. They clearly adore her."

Jamie went to sit next to her. "That is not true. Sam does remember you. He talked about you to Ian nonstop when they were captured. As for Rosie, she was so wee when they took her. Of course she dinnae ken."

"I know that- in my head. But my heart, it just is so torn up Jamie."

"John told me your childbearing was difficult with the bairn. Perhaps, you should talk to Claire."

Eleanor laughed and sobbed at the same time, "You know why I can't."

"I'm verra sorry I was not there fer ye, Eleanor, when ye needed me to be," Jamie's expression was pained.

"Lord John was there," she said, quietly, "You should have seen him. He fought for me that night. He wouldn't give up on saving my life."

"Aye, I'm grateful to him."

"I was scared. I thought it was over, Jamie," Eleanor said, her voice low.

Jamie scooted closer to her and put his arm around her. "Yer greatest fear..." he kissed her head. "Mo ghraidh."

"It wasn't my greatest fear, James," Eleanor whispered. "I couldn't ever tell you my greatest fear."

"Oh?"

She swallowed hard, "Claire coming back was."

He kissed her head again. "I am a fool, mo ghraidh."

"You made vows to both of us, Jamie," Eleanor's voice was soft. "And I pushed you away and into her arms so if anybody was the fool...that would be me."

He scooted away from her and turned her face towards him. "Hope is beautiful, lassie. She looks like her mama."

She sniffed hard, "Thank you." She wiped her tears. "She is precious to me. John adores her too. And William. It's quite sweet to see."

"I ken, but ye dinnae belong with him. Ye belong with us. Ye are my family, mo ghraidh, my clan. We can made this work again, Eleanor," Jamie reached out to squeeze her hand. "Give it a chance."

"I am tired, Jamie," Ellie said, her shoulders slumped. "And I cannot see you and Claire day after day. When Murtagh was here, it was different. He understood and he let me be me and did not push me to be happy. And we had formed a connection in spite of my feelings, it was true. John does the same. He understands."

Jamie swallowed hard, "Does he?"

"You know he does- better than anyone. You know what I speak of, do you not?"

"Aye, of course I do."

"Then, we'll be content to love the same man, but never have him."

"Lass," Jamie let out his breath. "Tis such folly, that logic."

"We'll have each other instead. He is a good man. I have always been so fond of him. And being stranded with him throughout my confinement, we renewed our friendship in even deeper and stronger ways. I need him, Jamie. I cannot face this without his humor and kindness spurring me on."

Jamie squared his shoulders, "I am not denyin he is a good man, Ellie. For the sake of our children, I am askin ye to reconsider. They need us both." He reached a tentative hand to touch her cheek, "ye promised when ye severed our union that ye would submit yerself to Murtagh or my wishes when it came to our family. I am heid of our clan, lassie. The clan that is the our family. And I am holding ye fast to yer promise."

"Then, I am asking you to release me from that obligation. I can't be as brave as Claire, Jamie. Do not ask me to be."

"Lass," Jamie grunted. "Do ye truly wish to have a marriage in name only?"

She looked over at him, "Who is to say that it would be that way?"

"Then ye wouldna object to...especially when ye ken verra weel..." the tips of Jamie's ears got red.

"No, James, I wouldn't," Eleanor said. "If that is what John wants. Honestly, I let you bed me that first night when I didn't know who you were or anything of your character, why wouldn't I let Lord John, who is a man that I respect and admire more than perhaps anybody else?"

"Then," He paused and then leaned to kiss her cheek, "Ye must tell him the truth, mo ghraidh."

She looked stricken, "Are you mad?"

"You say ye trust him. Ye say that ye have a deep and abiding friendship. ye say ye cannot face life with me here without him. So tell him the truth aboot ye if ye trust him so much."

"No," Eleanor shook her head, swiftly.

He reached for her hand, "We'll do so together."

"Good Lord, Jamie, you are a manipulative bastard." She tugged her hand out of his.

"Do ye no trust him?"

"Jamie," Eleanor let out her breath, "the truth is not rational. I can hardly believe it myself and I lived it"

"If he dinnae believe ye, then he dinnae deserves ye," Jamie stood.

"You are placing an impossible task on him," Eleanor said, "It isn't fair."

"We shall see," Jamie retorted. "We'll tell him tonight after the bairns are asleep."

Eleanor stalked off, "Do not follow me."

Jamie kicked up the dirt around him and then sat back down to bury his head in his hands.

A/N: Jamie isn't his finest in this chapter...but I think it fits his scottish stubborn temper well. He'll improve... :) Drop a review and let me know what you think if you get a moment. Up next: some sweet parenting moments, some tough parenting moments, and Lord John learns the truth.