A/N: I'm sooooo sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter and update. Kids started "virtual" school and it's been just a whirlwind. Not much time to write. But here is a new chapter. Alot of Jamie parenting moments in this one...thank you for EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter, and if you get a chance, I'd love to hear your thoughts! :)

Chapter 41:

"Hope," Eleanor picked her up and held her close to her, "Da is going to take you for a while."

"Hope go with Da?" Hope said, frowning.

"Yes," Eleanor sat down on the porch swing with her, next to Jamie.

"Hope no like Da," Hope said, frowning, "Da spanks Hope."

"Now, darling," Eleanor kissed her head and then smoothed down her fizzy hair, "When Hope doesn't listen, there has to be consequences, especially if you are making an unsafe choice. Papa or I would have done the same thing as you very well know. And I don't like to hear you say that Da doesn't like you either because he does. He loves you...just as much as I do or Papa does. Isn't that right, Da?"

"Of course, Mama is right," Jamie said. "Ye are my bairn...my last wee lass. That makes ye verra special, Hope."

"Hope have fun with Da?" Hope asked.

"Aye, ye and I are goin on an adventure, Hope."

"Mama go too?" Hope asked, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

"No, this is just an adventure with Da and Hope," Ellie said, "Just as Da would take Rosie or Sam or Mac on one. It's your turn. Isn't that fun? Mama always loved spending time with Da. You are such a lucky girl!"

Jamie grinned at Eleanor, who was laying on the praise thick. She leaned over to elbow him in response.

"Hope's dolly come too?" Hope asked.

"Aye," Jamie nodded, seriously, "It canna be a proper adventure without Dolly."

Hope smiled, shyly. "Okay. Hope go with Da."

Eleanor leaned to give her a kiss, "That's my very good girl! Go get Dollie and come right back out. Okay?"

"Okay, Mama!" Hope said as she hopped down and toddled off.

Eleanor turned to Jamie and looked him in the eyes, unable to say what she needed to say. She was afraid of Hope being in the water even if Hope was with Jamie.

"I will take verra gut care of our lassie, mo ghraidh," Jamie said, seriously, "Dinnae fash. She will return happy."

"I have no doubt she will," Eleanor stood, "But in the meantime, if Claire doesn't mind, I might do some baking with Rosie."

"Aye, a verra gut idea," Jamie nodded, "We canna have our wee sweet Rosie feelin left out."

"No indeed," Eleanor said.

"Da?" Hope asked, her chubby fingers gripping his shirt as Jamie put her down by the river. "Hope no like it here."

"Why is that, leannan?" Jamie said, his voice gentle.

"Hope want to play. Like Mac. Hope want fun. Hope got sick. Hope was scarry-ed."

Hope broke into long babble at the sight of the river, the same river in which she had her accident weeks ago.

"Aye," Jamie knelt down and then crouched so his face was close to hers. His hand took her wee hands in his own. "Hope, how much do ye remember aboot that day?"

"Hope wanna go on rocks like Mac. Hope wanna be big. Mama call for Hope. Mama really scarry-ed. And Hope fell. Then Claire helped my boo-boos feel better." Tears filled Hope's eyes, "Hope made mama cry. Hope feel sad, mama was sad."

"Aye, that was the way of it," Jamie said, wiping her tears that began to fall. "Are ye scarrit now?"

Hope nodded, her lip trembling. "River not Hope's friend."

"Ah," Jamie nodded, "but ye see...we have to make friends with the river," he said, solemnly. "Do ye ken how to make friends with the river?"

Hope shook her head, her eyes wide.

"Ye have to learn how to swim," Jamie said, "And until ye do, ye canna be in the River without us. Do ye understand?"

Hope nodded, "But what if the river no like Hope?"

Jamie titled his head, his mouth curled in amusement, "How can that be? We all love Hope."

"Oh," Hope said.

"And even when ye ken how to swim and are friends with the river, sometimes the river...weel, tis a wee bit grumpy. It likes to bite. Ye ken that way of that, dinnae ye no?"

"Yes," Hope's look was very serious.

"It can pull ye under and away with it, verra quick. So quick...before ye ken what tis happenin. So, we stay out of it, til it is calm again. And we can be friends again."

"Oh," Hope nodded.

"And ye should never get in the river unless Mama or Papa or Da or Claire or Bree or Fergus or Marsali or Roger or any other adult is with ye," Jamie said, "because the river's mood, it can shift verra quickly. Do ye ken what Da means, Hope, leannan?"

"Yes," Hope said, with another solemn nod. "Hope no go near River without grown up. Hope promise Da."

"That's a verra gut wee lass," Jamie kissed her head, "Now, are ye ready to make friends with the River?"

"Da hole Hope?" Hope asked, chewing her lip, much like Eleanor when worried.

"Of course. Da will teach ye how to swim. Would that be agreeable to ye, lassie?"

She nodded.

"Aye?" Jamie smiled at her.

"Aye, Da."

Jamie's smiled widened, lighting up his whole face. His heart filled with fierce love for his youngest bairn. And he ken...in that moment, Hope was fully his.

Later that night, Eleanor rubbed Hope's curls and leaned down to kiss her chubby cheek. She had zonked out early, exhausted from the adventure with Jamie. Jamie had spent extra time that night with Rose, complementing her on her fine cookies (the best he ever tasted) before settling her in his lap to play a game of chess with John. He knew Rosie was feeling left out and took great care to pay her extra attention that night. She always marveled at Jamie's understanding of their children's feelings.

Eleanor leaned over Hope's crib, stroking her curls and watching her sleep for a long while.

Jamie came in with a sleeping Rose later.

"She zonked out too?" Ellie whispered to Jamie.

"Aye," Jamie nodded, "John is puttin the wee lads in bed, but I ken they want a tuck in from their mama."

She smiled, still rubbing Hope's curls, her arm resting on the ledge of the crib.

Jamie put Rosie in the small bed in the side of the room, giving her a kiss before walking over to wear Eleanor was standing.

"I returned her to ye as promised," Jamie said.

"Of course, I knew you would," Eleanor said, softly. "She told John and I all about how she made friends with the River."

"Aye," Jamie chuckled. "She had a full on chat with it as we were in the water, blowin bubbles and movin her arms and kickin her legs." He paused, "Why so solemn, lass?"

"I just...we were so lucky, Jamie," Eleanor said, her voice cracking. "I'm grateful. And then...I think about how big she is. And how big the other children are getting...and I feel like I missed out on so much with our older three and I was so anxious about Hope and all the emotions that went with her being yours...and the handful that our other children are...and I didn't stop to breathe it all on. I tried from time to time, but then I got complacent and I forgot to appreciate the blessing...in the mundane. And the joy in the frustration..." She paused, "And I may never be able to hold another baby in my arms."

"Ye dinnae ken that," Jamie said, softly. "Hope is my last bairn, but I dinnae think she will be yers." He reached out to rub her arm, lightly, "I pray fer ye...every night...I pray fer yer safety and happiness...that of ye and our bairns...and I pray that ye get that last wee lad or lass that yer heart desires...fer both ye and Lord John...and that ye can feel yer family is complete."

"Thank you, Jamie," Eleanor whispered.

He nodded, knowing how much his words affected her.

Eleanor was hoping that after matters were settled with Hope, that they could have a last few days of peace before traveling to Auntie's wedding later that week. But she should have known, her lively brood would never make it that easy.

Eleanor's mouth dropped visibly open as she dropped the laundry was washing.

"What has happened?" she rushed out to meet Jamie, who was carrying Mac.

John and Claire were close behind her- Sam had trailed his father and brother, his head hung.

Eleanor reached out to put her hand on Mac's head which was drenched with sweat. "Mac, sweetheart, what hurts?"

"My arm," Mac murmured as Eleanor reached for Sam, drawing him close to her.

"I dinnae ken if is arm is broken," Jamie told her. "Sassenach?"

"Bring him into the surgery," Claire said, "We'll sort it out."

Eleanor looked to John, her arm still around Sam.

Jamie cleared his throat, "Perhaps, Sam would like to have a conversation with his godfather before talking with me," his tone was pointed. He knew he was going to be forced to discipline both boys, but need time to deal with Mac's arm. John also knew from Jamie's stance, that whatever happened, Jamie believed he would have to be harsher in his discipline that normal and if he wanted to keep peace in the family, he had to get Eleanor on board with his plan of action.

"Yes, indeed, that might be most wise," John said, "Come along, Samuel. Let's let Mama, Claire and Da take care of your brother."

Eleanor bit her lip and leaned down to give Sam a kiss and then gently nudged him in John's direction, who took his hand.

"Let's go for a walk," she could hear him saying before following Jamie into Claire's surgery. Jamie laid him on the table. Marsali hurried in and took one look at Mac and said, "How can I help?"

Claire put a hand on Mac's shoulder and then looked at Jamie, "I can take care of Mac. Why don't you let Eleanor know what is going on?" She could see how anxious Mac was especially with his father in the room. She didn't know what happened, but she suspected it was a bad choice that led to this injury.

Eleanor bit her lip, "I'm not sure I want to leave Mac, Claire, especially if he is in pain. I can hold him if he needs me to."

"I'm okay, Mama," Mac said, his voice quiet. "I am not a baby like the others. Ye dinnae have to hold me." His eyes did fill up with tears, as he gripped his arm.

"Oh, Mac, darling," Eleanor squeezed his knee and then leaned down to look into his eyes, "You will always be my baby. No matter what."

"Aye, even so, Mac will be fine with Claire and Marsali," Jamie said, firmly, taking Ellie by the elbow, and guiding her away from Mac and towards the door, "Come, I must talk to ye privately."

Eleanor's heart sank and she looked at Marsali, a message passing between them. Marsali reached to gently tug off the hand that Mac had put protectively over his injured arm, holding his hand in hers.

"Go on, Ellie," she said and Claire nodded at her.

Jamie didn't let her respond before pulling her completely out of the room and shutting the door.

"Giving Claire space to work is best without ye hoverin over them," Jamie said, his voice low.

"He's..." she swallowed hard, "Mac. And I'm his mama."

"Aye, I ken," Jamie said, "But I was makin the lad skittish and fer gut reason, lass."

"What is going on?" Eleanor asked, incredulously, searching Jamie's face.

"Come, I think ye need to sit fer it," He led her into the sitting room and then pushed her down on the sofa.

"Oh, God, is it that bad?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"He tried to ride Tairneanaich"

Jamie's horse, another gift from Jocasta, came by carrier a few weeks back. Jamie had been working on taming him, but he wasn't by any means broken in yet.

Eleanor's eyes widened, "Oh, shit," she gasped, horrified. She realized that Mac could be lying dead on the ground at this moment instead of with just a broken arm.

Jamie's eyebrows reached heavenward at the slip from her. "Lady John," he admonished, mildly, and then inclined his head. She hadn't realized that Hope and Rosie were playing with their dollies in the corner of the room.

"Damn it!" she said again, and then covered her mouth.

The corners of Jamie's mouth twitched, amused in spite of the situation. Eleanor's face reddened as Jamie came to sit next to her on the sofa.

"I'm so sorry for my language," she said, "especially in front of the girls."

"Ah, weel, if there was any reason fer a lady such as yerself to curse, I think this would be it," Jamie said, wryly. "I have to admit, I let a few out out as weel when I saw what was happenin."

She leaned over to whisper in his ear, "What the hell possessed him to do something as dangerous as that? Your horse is wild. He could have broken his neck. It is a blessing that he didn't."

"Aye, tis so," Jamie said, solemnly. "As fer the reason, he is a wee lad."

"But this is Mac. Usually, he is so steady," Eleanor said.

"From what I can gather, it was on a dare from some of the older Ridge boys. Samuel was braggin aboot it and he was dared. He couldna follow through so Mac took his place."

"Well, that certainty explains it better," Eleanor said, "But what were the boys doing with the older boys? They are still little."

"I canna keep the lads away from the other Ridge boys," Jamie said, "It willna harm them. Tis what lads do...encourage each other to mischief. And tis our job as their parents, to put a swift end to it when we see it."

Eleanor frowned, "Perhaps, we should keep them inside for few days. That would be torturous for them."

"I ken that is what ye think, but considerin the severity of their crimes, I do think that a heavier hand is in order, mo ghraidh," Jamie said, taking great care to keep his tone easy.

She winced as she knew full well what that heavier hand meant for her boys, "But Mac is already in pain and..."

Jamie put a hand on her arm, "Ellie." The way he said her name, under his breath, a mix of sternness and gentleness...she knew he did not want to go to battle with her over this and he was asking her not to fight him, without even asking. They had come such a far way to heal the strife in their relationship and to forge a friendship, cemented with the love for their children, but also with the highest regard and love for each other. Even so, Eleanor couldn't abandoned what she thought was just and fair for their boys, and how she wished to raise them.

She let out a long breath, "May we all discuss this together? And not act rashly when our emotions are all mixed up in it? I mean...I'm pretty angry about the whole thing. They know better. And we were so lucky that Mac wasn't hurt worse or killed. I can only imagine that you feel the same way."

"Aye, my temper is stirred towards them," Jamie admitted.

"Then, let's just all take a breath and figure out how to handle it. John is already talking with Sam. Perhaps, Sam should spend some time in his room when he gets home to think over it. And Mac's arm needs to be set most likely..."

"Aye," Jamie said, slowly.

"And then we can get Claire and Lord John's perspective..."

"Ye think they will agree with ye," Jamie titled his head, his eyes on her. He said it matter of factually.

"I just think we need an objective perspective. We have so many differing opinions of how to raise these children, Jamie, and to come to consensus over matters as important as this, then I think having Claire and John weigh in would be prudent. Don't you agree?"

He looked at her, "Is it really so objectionable fer ye?"

She bit her lip, "You would have to tell me precisely what you would do."

"I think, if any time calls fer it, a gut thrashing would be in order."

"Then, yes," Ellie said, "It is objectionable for me."

"Eleanor."

"I'm trying so very hard to be reasonable, James," Eleanor said. "Please meet me in the middle."

He raised an eyebrow, "This is Lord John's influence on ye, I can tell...the moderating of yer temper."

"Is that a bad thing?" Eleanor asked, eyebrow raised.

"Nah. Of course, it isna. Just surprising. Verra weel. We will consult Claire and John, but ye ken my thoughts."

"I do," Eleanor said, "thank you." She rose, "I should go check on Mac."

"Aye," Jamie reached out to grip her arm, stopping her. "At some point, Eleanor, ye will have to trust in the man that I am. I willna ever harm our lads...truly."

She nodded and left him to check on Mac.

"Are the wee lassies asleep?" Jamie asked as she came down the stairs. He had been waiting for her at the bottom.

"Yes, they took some extra snuggles, but they are."

"Then come," Jamie gestured with his head, "John and Claire are waiting."

"I should fix my hair," Ellie said, "Hope got her hands tangled in my bun as I was rocking her. I just took it down so she could play with it."

Jamie's eyes traveled to the pins that were in her hands. "Was she that distressed?" Jamie asked.

She nodded, "The girls can sense trouble, Jamie."

"I dare say Lord John will forgive the impropriety considering ye are his wife," Jamie said. "Yer hair is fine the way it is, lassie. Come, I am eager to settle this between us."

She nodded, "I'm just going to put these in the room. I'll be right there."

"Verra gut. Claire made tea fer ye. John said ye would prefer that over a drink."

"Yes, I think I would," she admitted, "My nerves are already shot."

He gave her a measured look, "I just want ye to ken before we talked with the others, my views on this with the wee lads, tis nothing to do with ye, mo ghraidh. If we lose our tempers, I wanted to say that before hand."

"I will try not take it personally," Ellie said, a small smile crossing her lips, "But as you know well, I cannot promise you that I will not."

"Aye, I ken that weel," Jamie said. He reached out for her free hand, squeezing it once, "Go on. We'll wait fer ye."

Eleanor entered the room and crossed it to sit at the table beside John. She gave him a weary smile which he returned and leaned over to kiss her cheek, affectionately. He put his hand on her shoulder as he leaned to whisper in her ear,

"Do not be so weary, darling. I believe we can find understanding to know what to do with this matter."

She nodded and then looked to Claire, "Thank you for the tea," she said as she gripped the mug that was waiting for her at her spot.

"Of course, Ellie," Claire said. "I think the key here is all to maintain our calm."

"And not provoke each other to anger," John added, his pointed look traveling between both her and Jamie.

"I'm goin to be calm, Sassenach," Jamie said. "And Lord John, I dinnae plan fer it to turn into a shouting match between myself and yer wife."

"A lady never raises her voice, James," Eleanor said, the sarcastic tilt to her voice, unmistakable.

Jamie laughed, appreciatively as John poked her arm. Her comment served to ease some of the tension.

"Aye, I ken, my lady," Jamie said, his eyes twinkling, "Perhaps ye sometimes think your audience is hard of hearing then?"

She tossed her braid over her shoulder as she titled her head, "Given your advanced years..." she paused, mischievously before adding, "of wisdom..."

John poked at her again, "Enough, darling," he chided, mildly though Jamie was clearly amused at Eleanor's teasing. They both knew that Eleanor needed to feel like she was on equal level with Jamie and their verbal spars often demonstrated that fact to all involved.

"Now then," Jamie said, his mouth still twitching in amusement, "What to do aboot our wee lads?"

"Why don't you each explain your perspective?" John asked, "And then Claire and I can offer our thoughts."

"Jamie, you go first," Eleanor said.

"Weel played, my lady," Jamie said, under his breath, "time to plan your counterargument?"

"I didn't go to college for nothing," Eleanor retorted, "It was preparing me for this day."

"Undoubtedly so," John said, his hand on her arm. "Believe me, my darling, nobody in this room, doubts that you are on equal footing with Jamie...in terms of wits. And I do believe, most heartedly that you are respected and valued by both men sitting at this table," He looked to Jamie, "Am I wrong, Mr. Fraser?"

"Not at all," Jamie said, "I do respect ye, Ellie. Truly, I do."

"Good," John said, "Now, Jamie, you go first. Let Eleanor have that."

"Verra weel," Jamie said, and he presented his argument to the group. When he finished, Eleanor had her turn before they both turned to their spouses, expectantly.

Claire cleared her throat, glancing at Jamie, "I do not believe Eleanor is in the wrong. Physical punishment is not the only answer. Clearly, there were more emotions in place here, one that needs to be explored with both boys. And she is also right that while it is not an excuse, both boys have been upended. Mac feels keenly the need to protect his siblings as the eldest and he is fully aware of more than we realize- with the war and Murtagh."

"And Samuel?" Jamie asked.

"Well, you often say you can beat Sam and it doesn't make a difference," Claire said, wryly.

"Aye, but this would make that message loud and clear. It wouldna be a few easy smacks," Jamie said.

"All the more reason not to!" Eleanor exclaimed. "Listen to yourself, James!"

"He could be dead!" Jamie retorted. "I canna ken what they have done and coddle them fer it. Tis not 2019, Ellie. Actions have consequences. Deadly consequences. But can the wee lads understand that, when their mother constantly shields them?"

"I have to! Look at what they have been through! They were taken from us and they have had their family torn apart. They have been shuffled between here and there. We are lucky they aren't more messed up over all of this."

John's hand immediately rested on Eleanor's arm, "Ellie," he murmured, softly, "You are losing your temper."

She swallowed hard, "Well, Claire clearly agrees with me...and she's a doctor, which makes her an expert so..."

Jamie raised an eyebrow, "Is there no one more person to hear from? Is Lord John no their stepfather? Or dinnae think yer husband willna go against yer wishes? I wish to hear from his mouth what he has to say. Considering he is an expert in what it means to live in these times..."

"I do want to hear his advice as well," Eleanor said, "I wasn't shutting John out, Jamie. Only saying that Claire would probably understand from a physician's perspective what is best. And that is important to me."

"Of course you weren't," John said, rubbing her arm, "I do think Claire's opinion as physician is valuable." His hand stopped rubbing her arm and rested upon it, his hand heavy. "Do you fully wish for my opinion?"

"You know I do," Eleanor said, softly, "You understand the children well. And myself. And you have a great judgement over matters."

"Aye," Jamie nodded, "Go on, John."

"I have listened to each of you and while in part all of you speak sensibly, there are two parts to this matter that weighs heavily on my own conscious. The first- Eleanor, you and I have tried to instill in the boys right from wrong. We have set boundaries and we have offered them chance after chance when they have gone astray. And yet, when they were faced with a choice in which they knew could be dangerous, they chose to do the very thing they knew that could bring them harm. Perhaps, we have been too lenient at times with them."

Eleanor bit her lip, "Do you really believe that to be true?"

"At times," John said.

"Go on, John," Jamie said, nodding, for he had thought that was the case for the longest time, but he knew that John saying so would reach Eleanor, more than if he had said it, "Ye said two parts. What is the second?" he pressed his friend.

"And then, the second matter, when it comes to the very heart of the matter, Eleanor, I believe..." he paused, searching for the words, "you have to trust Jamie's judgement as Mac and Sam's father. And his character- to know that he would never do something that he would believe that would cause lasting harm to the boys. And that he understands what it means to be a young boy growing up in this world...and sometimes that means you do truly foolish things in the name of...in Sam's case bravado...and in Mac's case, protectiveness...and that when you make such foolish choices...in this world, and in this time...the punishment could be severe. Better come from Jamie's own hand, then from the authorities later on."

"They are good boys, John."

"I know that, Eleanor," John said. "And I love them as much as if you bore them out of our love. But if it was betwixt you and I...and if it was our son, I wouldn't want you questioning whether I would be abusive to our child...and to know that my judgement as a father is sound. It's a matter of honor again."

"You men and your bloody honor," Eleanor sighed, exasperated.

"I cannot imply that Jamie would ever be the man who would be cruel with his children," John said, "Nor do you wish to either. You cannot condemn his character in this way by tying his hands as their father."

"I don't feel like we are, Lord John," Claire said, "Just from a modern perspective, what we know, is this type of discipline doesn't truly sway behavior."

"I always did mine," Jamie said, wryly. "But now we have it. Two and two, Lady John. And considerin..."

"Jamie..." Eleanor interrupted, her voice holding a warning, "Do not say what you are about to say."

"John is your husband and he concurs with my judgement."

"And Claire with mine!"

"But we dinnae live in yer time, Eleanor," Jamie said, "I am heid of this family. I have heard what all has had to say and since we canna come to a consensus, then I must do what I feel like I must. As John said, I am the lads' father."

"Jamie, I swear to God," Eleanor rose, her face pale. "I will not let you beat our children. And while John is my husband, he will not strong arm me the way you and Murtagh were apt to do when I disagreed with your vast wisdom. You cannot just walk all over me to do whatever you wish with our children...not ever again!"

"Eleanor," John murmured, cautioning her not to say something she will regret.

She pushed out her chair with her legs, "I need some air before I say something I'll regret. I'll stay on the porch."

"Lass," Jamie's tone was harsh. "We are not done."

"Clearly, you are." Eleanor titled her head, "Please move." she said, as Jamie stood in her way.

"Jamie," John intervened at once, "Let her pass now."

Jamie immediately allowed her to leave.

Claire reached for the mugs. "I am going to bed. I can check on Mac before I do."

"Aye, thank ye," Jamie said, reaching to give her a kiss. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," She nodded in John's direction, "Lord John."

"Mistress Fraser," John gave her a warm smile, "Pleasant dreams."

They both watched Claire leave and Jamie sat back down at the table.

"Yer wife is unreasonable."

"My wife can be unreasonable," John retorted, "But I am not convinced she is being so at this moment." He looked at Jamie, evenly, "Eleanor seems to have a particular incident in mind regarding you and Mr. Fitzgibbons. I need you to tell me to what she is referring to."

"This canna be over that," Jamie said, "Twas years ago."

"Clearly, she believes if she and I were not wed and I was not here to intervene on her behalf... that when you and she come to an impasse in regards to the children, that you will beat her into submission if that is what it takes for her not to fuss and question your authority...regardless of her wishes on how she wants the children raised. Why on earth would she think that is the way of it?"

"Because I did," Jamie said, his voice low, "Once."

"Did you?" John's voice was low. "When you and she were wed?

"No, she was marrit to Murtagh at the time."

"I see," John's demeanor was grave. "Why would you do such a thing to her?"

"At the time, it seemed like the best course to take," Jamie said, twining his hands, "I dinnae wish to. There were times when we were wed that I did wish to and we did, and times I wanted to and we did not, but this time...I did not wish fer it, John."

"Twas it not the usual way betwixt you and her? Did she offer her consent?"

"No, she did not," Jamie said.

"I see," John drummed his fingers on the table, "Murtagh's idea?"

"It was," Jamie said. "She was so verra stubborn...and we couldna reason with her...Murtagh was her husband. Either I would do it or he would. And speaking from experience, I dinnae wish her to be in that position with Murtagh. He was frustrated with her and I dinnae think he would go easy on her. She dinnae think I do, but ye ken I do...in those times between us. At the time, he was the only friend she had besides Jenny at the moment. I dinnae wish it to ruin their trust because she needed him to be different. So I did it."

John sighed. "She has not let go of those hurt feelings over that, Jamie, and she will not do so until you tell her what you just told me."

"It was years ago."

"And yet...to her, this matter just brought it all back up again. Surely, you can understand her perspective. At the time, it just seems like a betrayal on top of the betrayal you allowed in the first place of not fighting for her and your family," He sighed and rubbed his eyes, "To be frank, there are more wounds betwixt you and her and the moment, I think we have healed matters betwixt her and you, we find more and more that have been let to fester."

Jamie looked resigned, "Aye, I ken ye are right."

"I must have peace betwixt you. But...I will not continue to try to fix things for you, Jamie, in regards to Eleanor. You must do so yourself. She has every right to feel the way she does, especially over this. And you must find a way to make this parenting betwixt you and her...be amenable to both of you. Make it better, Jamie."

"You think I acted wrongly then?" Jamie asked, his eyebrow raised.

"I do," John said, without a trace of hesitation, "because all Eleanor ever wanted was your acceptance and love. To receive your censure without your husbandly love to sustain her in that moment? It is unthinkable...especially considering she thinks it is wrong. I did not fully understand how much so, until recently. And I vowed never to lay a hand on her again." He paused, "Better to have Murtagh do it and let him deal with the consequences of a very put out wife. And to be able to comfort her afterwards...as a husband should. Did you just do it and then take your leave?"

"She wouldna let me touch her," Jamie said, quietly.

John just shook his head. "You must find a way to talk to her, Jamie...you and she were always very close- in spirits as well as husband and wife. There was always an understanding betwixt you and her. Perhaps its was a well fought understanding, but it was an understanding none the less."

"She isna my wife any longer."

"No, but she is the mother of your children. And you cannot be allowed to just proceed without regard to her feelings or judgement over matters. And without her consent. If she doesn't offer it, you should handle these matters with Sam and Mac in a different way."

"Ye just said it wasna wrong...that ye agreed with me."

"Yes, but if Eleanor truly cannot accept it, I do not think you should proceed. But I will not convince her of it for you. You must do that yourself."

"Verra weel," Jamie grunted. "I will go talk to the lass."

"Take her shawl. It always so much cooler at night than during the day. Tell her I am going to bed."

"Aye," Jamie nodded and then reached for the flask of whisky, taking it as well, before taking his leave.

Eleanor heard the door open and shut as a small lantern illuminated the night air. She could tell immediately by the step who was on the porch with her.

"It's you," Eleanor said as he put the lantern down on the steps some ways away from them, not wanting to attract bugs to them.

"Aye, did ye think it was John?" Jamie asked. "He said that I must work this out with ye and wanted ye to ken he has gone to bed."

She sniffled hard and turned her face away from him, trying to hide the fact she was crying.

"Have ye been crying?" Jamie asked, his voice low as he wrapped the shawl around her shoulders before sitting down next to her on the porch swing, his weight shifting the swing considerably, Ellie having to plant her feet to stabilize it.

She wiped at her eyes, "Of course not, Jamie. I..."

Jamie interrupted her, "If ye are, I am sorry fer it, lass. I dinnae ever want to make ye cry and yet I ken the rivers of tears ye have shed at my hand."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, "I shouldn't be so upset. We should be able to have a mature conversation without me doing so."

"Why can't we?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know...when we get like this with each other...it just brings everything back up..."

"Aye," Jamie said, quietly, "I ken yer meaning weel."

"And suddenly, it's like I am the Eleanor who was never good enough for you..." her voice broke, "not the Eleanor that I am now that I am John's."

"Not gut enough fer me?" Jamie frowned. "It was never because ye were not gut enough fer me, Eleanor. I wouldna ever think so of ye. Ye were entirely too gut fer me."

"That's kind." She shuffled her feet, rocking the swing, as she wiped her eyes again.

"Ye dinnae believe me." Jamie eyed her in the lantern light.

She shrugged, "It's kind of the thing you want to say to make people feel better...to appease them."

"Tis not the way of it. Tis true." Jamie insisted, "And what I said at the start of tonight, I do respect ye, Eleanor. But that dinnae mean I have to agree with ye or I can let ye make decision fer our family. We have thrashed this issue fer years."

"But here is the crux of the matter and why we keep coming back to it," Eleanor said softly, "Respect means that if I hold a deep objection, you trust me as much as I would trust you if the roles were reversed."

Jamie eyed her evenly, "I do trust ye, but then in the same, ye must trust me that I willna ever harm our lads, not truly. And if we are truly at an impasse where we both hold deep feelins over the matter at hand, one of us must yield. There canna be another way."

"I shouldn't always be the one to yield, James," Eleanor said.

"Ye do so often with John." He pointed out.

"John and I are in a relationship," Eleanor retorted, "It's different. I can trust him because he loves me, he is committed to me. You are committed to Claire and the family you have with her."

Jamie paused, surprised by the bluntness of her tone, "I may no be yer husband, but when it comes to our four...I dinnae lose my rights to father them the way I ken is best when I lost ye."

"I know that. And I love that we have been able to spend so much time here the past few months. And you do have really good intuition when it comes to the children and what they need. But it is just so different...a few smacks, yes...fine. I was raised that way. But more than that? We are going to Auntie's wedding and Mt. Josiah afterwards and I don't know how long you will be away from our sons. Is this really what you want them to carry with them?"

"I think I can reassure them enough to my love fer them, Eleanor, that it willna affect as much as ye think it will."

"Mac is just so sensitive, Jamie. He isn't like you describe of yourself as a boy. He is strong, but he cares so deeply. And you are his hero."

"Dinnae ye think I ken that?" Jamie asked. "I willna be too harsh with them Eleanor. I ken how do this in a way that I think will get the message and be harsher than usual, but won't be cruel. Do ye really think that possible of me? To be cruel and unreasonable with our lads?"

She wiped her eyes and groaned, "I just don't know. No, I don't. But then...I feel like you hid yourself from me when we were married."

"No, mo ghraidh, I dinnae," Jamie's denial was adamant.

"Yes, you did. I knew what you were capable of as a soldier, but I didn't get it...not until I saw what happened with Knox. And I know it wasn't the first time you found yourself in a situation and you had to. But I would have tried to understand...justice in the world you live in. Did you think I wouldn't love you? To know that you have fought and murdered and lied and cheated? I mean, you ran a whole smuggling ring without even telling me! Isn't that hiding parts of yourself for me?"

"Truthfully, I dinnae ken how ye would feel aboot me if ye ken," He paused, "I dinnae want ye scarrit of me..."

"You should have given me a chance, Jamie. To be your wife..."

"You are so...innocent in the way ye see things. That people canna be capable of things ye yerself wouldna be capable of. I dinnae ken what I thought. I only ken that I loved ye...I loved ye so much that I wanted to wrap ye up in my arms and protect yer heart. And do everything in my power to keep ye safe and see ye weel. Ye and our wee uns."

She nodded, "I know, but because you did so, you also made me feel weak. Like I wasn't good enough to be the wife you needed. The wife that was your helpmate, your companion...and that is why I stepped aside...because Claire was that person for you. She was your person. And I was not. But I always wanted to be better for you."

"Ye never had to be," Jamie said, "Ye just had to be yerself. And I was wrong not to give ye the credit ye were due. Jenny always saw a great strength in ye. But she also saw that the tenderness ye brought out in me, was a gut thing, in the time when I needed ye. And I did need ye, Ellie. I needed ye safe and at peace. As I do now." He took a breath and then his voice grew determined and strong, "I vow to ye that I willna touch the lads without yer consent, but I need ye to show me that ye believe what ye said from the verra beginning...that I was a man that ye ken would be a gut father to our children."

Her lip trembled and she tasted the salt of her tears. "You would really not? Even when you feel that doing so is wrong?"

"Aye, I wouldna. John doesn't think I should without ye consenting and I dinnae either. It frustrates me and angers me, but I willna force ye to submit to my will...not anymore."

"When I was married to Murtagh, that wasn't the case..." Eleanor said. "You had no qualms about making me submit by physical force if needed."

"Weel," Jamie's voice was low, "I was wrong then as weel. I should have let Murtagh handle it as yer husband. I wanted to protect ye from what was sure to be an unpleasant experience. I ken that I could have moderated enough to go easy on ye but satisfy Murtagh's sense of justice. I just dinnae anticipate how much it would shatter yer heart...more than a harsher beating would have. I shoulda ken considering how weel I ken ye...but I dinnae. And fer that I am truly sorry."

She reached out to lightly grip his fingers, "I'm sorry as well. i was being difficult that day. I wanted to control you because I couldn't control everything going on."

"Aye, but I canna be so easily controlled," Jamie gave her a lopsided grin in the lamp light. "I am difficult as weel. I was angry that ye put us in this position to begin with over without nary a thought."

"Believe me, I agonized over what to do. We were both wrong. But perhaps it was all meant to be. Because I am happy."

"John is a verra gut man."

"He is. And I love him so much."

"And I love Claire," Jamie said, "As ye said, she completes me." He paused, "But ye are wrong if ye think that I willna budge because I do not love ye any longer, Ellie. Or that my disagreement with ye over how to parent our wee lads is because I dinnae hold yer opinion in high regard...that somehow ye arena worth me budging for any longer. No, I will yield to ye because I do love ye. I promised ye I would until the day I die and I canna say that will ever truly change. And I dinnae ever want to bring ye hurt again. If this hurts yer heart too much fer whatever reason, then I will stand down, Lady John...even if it means coddling our lads in the process."

Eleanor thought for a few moments, considering his words. She let out a long breath.

"What are ye thinkin?" Jamie asked, his fingers poking her arm.

"To be honest," She swallowed hard, "I feel the same about you. I feel like..." she paused, "I cannot ask you to be...not you. As a man and as a father...because that is the man that I honored every day in our marriage...and still do, just in a different way. As maybe an honorary member of the Clan Fraser?"

"Aye," Jamie nodded. "Of course ye are."

"And the children need you as their father. I would never want to take that away from you. So go on and do what you feel you must as their Da."

"I take little joy in this."

"Of course, I do not think you are sadistic to take joy in punishing our children. In winning our argument?" She gave a small smile, "Perhaps, Mr. Fraser."

"Weel, if ye must ken, I take a bit of joy to ken that I am a man ye still do trust." He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, sweetly. "Ye are verra important to me. Dinna doubt that fer a moment. Ye canna ever be replaced, Ellie."

"As are you to me," she said, softly. "Just...do it early. We have already made the boys wait too long." She stood, "I should go to bed. Hope will surely be crawling into my bed tonight."

He smiled, "And Rosie perhaps in mine."

"Most likely," She smiled back, "Sweet dreams, Jamie."

"Goodnight, mo ghraidh."

Eleanor crawled into bed with John, who immediately turned and gathered her into his arms, pulling her tightly against him.

"I hope you do not think I took Jamie's side with this. I did not wish to hurt your feelings by doing so."

"No, I know it wasn't about sides...and I'm grateful you love our boys enough to honestly say what you think...and then to tell Jamie he needs my consent. That was surprising."

"Ah, well," John said, "I will not have any man stomp upon my wife's feelings, no matter how justified they might be. And especially after Jamie told me of what happened when you were wed to Mr. Fitzgibbons, then I am especially determined that it will never be so again. But why didn't you ever say more about that? You hinted at it plenty, but never said..."

"It was really painful," Eleanor whispered, "And I didn't want to relive it. But I suppose Jamie and I needed to deal with it."

"And what conclusion was drawn in regards to the boys?"

"He is going to do as he sees fit."

John sat up, his face illuminated in the moonlight. "Are you truly allowing him to?"

She nodded, sitting up as well, wrapping her arms around her legs, drawing them to her middle. She sat her chin on her knees. "He told me he would stand down if I needed him to. But then I realized, all I wanted was to give Jamie that family he missed out on...with Bree and William. And that I have taken the children away to Virginia...and I simply cannot ask him to be the father that he is not when he has the chance to be their father when he can." She paused, "That sounded strange, but..."

"No, I discern your meaning. Jamie needs to be the father he thinks he should be. He is their father."

She nodded, turning her head and yawning, "Yes, precisely. And I am..."

"Their very sweet mother, who wants them to be warriors to survive this life, but to be good men, full of tenderness and mercy for others. It's admirable, Eleanor, my dear" I would not do to have it any other way."

"Exactly," Eleanor smiled at him, "By the way, Jamie said he would stand down if I needed him to."

John reached out to stroke the side of her head, "He wouldn't be the man we love if he did not."

the man we love...

Eleanor's heart overflowed. John understood so well that her heart would always contain a piece, reserved for Jamie, their love tucked away...in a deep and safe place. For he was the same. And being open with that, allowed Eleanor to love John...with even those parts of her heart that was reserved for Jamie. And love John she did...more and more with each passing day.

"Thank you for having my back tonight."

He gripped her chin turning it towards him. "And I always will. As long as I have your heart too."

"Gladly given," She leaned over to kiss him. "Bedtime?"

"Ah, yes," John said. "I can already feel that tis a night that young Hope will crawl betwixt us."

"I just told Jamie that," She laughed, "You are a very good Papa to our babies, John."

"Thank you," John said, smiling at her.

"And God willing...one day, I can see the look upon your face when we hold our own child."

"I look forward to that as well." John said, "But there are no regrets...no matter what the future might be." He flicked her cheek, "Bed, Lady John."

"Goodnight, Lord John," Eleanor said, crawling down and allowing John to gather her close.

Eleanor looked up from where she was rolling out the bread, flour smudged on her face. She had offered to take the task from Claire, who had a busy day ahead of her in the surgery. Bree had come early and taken Hope and Rosie back to her cabin and Eleanor needed something to distract her from her worries.

Jamie had steered Mac and Sam outside as soon as they had woken. Mac's arm was better this morning- Claire had declared it a sprain and even though he was sore, it had felt better than yesterday. They had been blessed...once again.

Eleanor pounded the dough against the small table in the kitchen.

"Good morning, darling," John said, coming into the kitchen, "There you are."

"Did you have a nice walk?" Ellie asked, rubbing her hand against her cheek.

"Very pleasant," John leaned to kiss her cheek. "Where are the girls?"

"Bree has them," Ellie said, "I think she sensed there would be a bit of drama this morning and wanted to help. Claire is working in the surgery, so I offered to do some baking." She titled her head, "What can I make you to eat?"

"Claire and Jamie were up early- I had breakfast with them before I left? Did you eat?" John inquired.

"I wasn't very hungry," Eleanor said, "I'll eat later."

"Very well," John reached for a cloth and dipped it in the bucket of water. "You have flour on your forehead, Lady John." He balled up the cloth and then used it to wipe it off. "And your nose. You must be very distracted this morning to create such a mess."

She nodded, "Very distracted."

"The boys will be no worse for the wear, darling. You must believe that."

She looked over at him, unable to respond.

"Ah, darling," he reached for her, pulling her against him.

"John, I'm going to get flour on your shirt," Ellie protested. "And that wouldn't at all be proper for a gentleman such as yourself! Lord John with flour on his shirt? God help us! What is the world coming to?"

He laughed and held her tighter, "There is a first for everything, my dear Lady John. Allow me to hold my wife...while no one is around...for I am in desperate need of it myself."

"Why is that?"

"Don't you know?" John murmured, "When your heart aches and is sore, mine is as well."

Eleanor twined her hands around him, taking care to not get flour on his shirt. "I love you so much."

"And I you," John pulled her gently away from him, "Now, Lady John. What can we do to occupy your time?"

"Well, this is almost ready...and then..." she shrugged, "I told Claire I would weed the garden."

"Great God in Heaven, you are desperate for a distraction," he told her. "Well, we will do so together. But you will wear your hat while doing so."

"I wouldn't dare not," Eleanor couldn't help but smile. She leaned to kiss him, "You are the best. Truly."

"I'm glad you think so," John said, "But before we do weed the garden, you will eat something. I will not have you swoon from lack of sustenance. Even when you are worried, you must still eat, Lady John."

"I was wondering when you were going to protest my lack of breakfast," Eleanor put her hand on her hip. "I thought you were going to let it pass."

"No, my darling, it is my job not to..." He put his arm around her, "Come, finish here and I will eat with you before going and tending to the garden. We shall keep you quite occupied, while Jamie spends some time with the boys."

She nodded, and allowed John to take control.

Jamie buckled back his belt.

"Now," He knelt down beside both boys, "It's over, my wee lads." He put a hand on Mac's hand and one of Sam's.

"I'm so sorry, Da," Mac whispered. "Tis so foolish what we did."

"I ken that," Jamie said. "You must learn, James Mackenzie, that you do not carry the weight of your brother and sisters choices upon your shoulders. And it tis not your duty to shield them from their foolheidness...especially if the result is being foolheided on yer own."

"I ken," Mac said.

"And ye, Samuel," Jamie rubbed his other son's head. "Ye must learn...that ye dinnae have to be so impulsive to flit aboot like the wind. Ye must think before ye act. Ye ken it was dangerous to ride and yet yer pride and yer lack of thinking caused ye to take the lads' dare. Twas wrong...yer pride. And to let yer brother do it in yer steed. Ye canna always depend on him to spare yer hide."

"Aye, Da, I'm sorry."

"I ken ye are," Jamie said, seriously, "Maybe ye should tell yer brother that as weel? Considering I dinnae think ye would have ever tried to get on that horse unless he was compelled to do so...to protect ye."

"Aye, I'm sorry, Mac," Sam said, wiping his eyes.

"Now come, I must hold ye both. Ye dinnae ken how this hurt my heart to punish ye lads in this way..." Jamie gathered his boys in his arms. "I never understood when my Da told me that. But twas true. Now I understand."

"What were ye like as a boy, Da?" Mac asked, burying his head in Jamie's chest, tucked in the crook of Jamie's arm.

"Aye, Da, did ye ever do anything as foolish as us?"

Jamie chuckled, "Aye, I'd say. Many a times. And I will tell ye aboot one of those times. To ease yer soreness...and to ken that ye are not alone...but we shall spread out on our bellies, how does that sound?"

"That sounds right gut, Da," Sam said, rubbing his bottom.

"Aye, I ken it would," Jamie nodded, solemnly. "Verra weel," he helped the boys to lay on their stomachs in the grassy knoll, before launching into one of his many stories about him as a lad.

Jamie, the born storyteller that he was, soon had the boys laughing and cringing and forgetting all about their own troubles, the guilt and soreness of their heart easing to know that their beloved Da...well, he had made so many mistakes too as a young lad like them.

When he was done, he asked, "Do ye both feel like ye can go back up to the Ridge? There are chores to be done."

They nodded and Jamie responded, "Verra gut, but before we do. There is something else I must say."

Mac rolled from his stomach to his back and then eased very carefully up to sit in the grass, Sam following his brother's lead. "What is it, Da?"

"Weel, tis aboot yer Mama..." Jamie said, his voice quiet and his tone had turned very serious. "Before ye act, perhaps it would be wise to think upon her. I ken ye both love her verra much as we all do...and right now, yer Mama's heart is breaking at the fact that she ken I had to punish ye and punish ye weel. She kens ye deserved it...and she ken how lucky we were that Mac, all ye have is a sore arm and bottom. It coulda been so much worse...and yer mama...her heart would have been broken. She dinnae deserve that."

Both boys hung their heads.

"But just as I forgive ye, she does too. She willna scold ye aboot it, because she ken what I did to punish ye both. But perhaps apologizing to yer mama, would be a fine way to make amends fer what ye have done...beyond the punishment ye have just received."

"Aye, Da, we will," Mac said.

"Verra gut," Jamie said, "And if we can spare just a few more minutes, I ken a place nearby where there are some bonny flowers growin. Pickin and bringin some to yer mama to show her that ye do care...that would be a fine start to show her how sorry ye are, dinnae ye think?"

"Aye!" Sam said, "Mama loves flowers."

"I ken," Jamie smiled as he pushed himself off the ground, "Let's see what we can find yer mama." He put an arm around each boy as he led them away.

Ellie looked up from where she was pulling weeds, her large hat resting open her head. When she saw the boys coming with Jamie, John straightened.

"Go on, darling," he coaxed, with a kiss on the cheek. She didn't need to be told twice.

She forced her voice to be calm, but her eyes anxiously searched each of the boys' faces.

"Hello, my darlings," Eleanor said, making her way over to them, her hat falling to her back as she did, held in place by the thick blue ribbon. "I was just trying to pick some weeds from Claire's garden while she is in her surgery."

"Aye, a fine idea to help, Mama," Jamie said, "Ye look hot though."

"I am a bit heated," she said, trying to rub the dirt off her hands, "John was helping though."

"Ah," Jamie smiled, his hands protectively on each boy's head. "Verra gut. Mac and Sam have somethin fer ye, mo ghraidh."

"Do they?" Eleanor smiled, "Are those flowers for me?"

"Aye," Mac stepped forward and handed her a bunch of blue and yellow wildflowers. "I picked blue because I ken how much ye love it- blue like yer bonny eyes, Mama. I'm sorry that we worried ye. I shouldna not tried to ride Tairneanaich. It was foolish of me to offer to do so when Sam chickened out. Tha mi duilich"

She leaned down to kiss Mac on the head. She looked him, intently in his eyes, "You are forgiven always, Mac, my dearest first born boy." She looked to Jamie, who smiled at her. "tha thu maitheanas"

Mac's eyes widened in surprise, "Ye ken how to say it in Gaidhlig?"

"Yes, of course," Eleanor kissed him again and then glanced at Jamie, "Your da taught me. Believe me, we have had plenty of opportunities to say those words to each other."

"Aye, mama is right aboot that," Jamie said, ruffling Mac's head.

Sam stick out his bunch of flowers pick wildflowers intermixed with yellow, "Here mama. I ken ye like pink so I got ye those. Tha mi duilich fer scarrin ye, mama. Papa said yesterday yer heart would burst when ye heard what we had done. I hope ye dinnae cry."

"tha thu maitheanas," Eleanor responded with a kiss, "They are lovely. And I didn't cry. I was just really worried about you...and the choices you were making. You are a brave boy, Samuel, but there is a fine line between bravery and foolishness, one that I dare say Da and I will try to get you to tow often."

"Aye, tis so," Jamie said.

Eleanor looked at her flowers, "Thank you so much for the flowers, they are lovely. Where did the yellow ones come from?"

"Da," Mac said, "He said the yellow were yer favorite. I dinnae think so, but he added them to both of our bunches."

"I love them all," She kissed each boy again.

Jamie leaned down and kissed them as well. "Why dinnae ye go see Papa fer a bit? Help him with the weedin. Yer mama looks like she could use a break."

"Aye," they boys said as they ran off to John, who greeted them both with a hug and quiet word.

"Are they okay?" Eleanor murmured to Jamie.

"Aye, nothin that time willna ease," Jamie said, reaching out to plop her hat back on her head. "Yer face is so flushed."

"Are you sure they are fine?" Eleanor said.

"Aye, verra certain. Dinna fash, lassie. Ye shall see. Dinnae then not seem weel?"

"They do," she took a breath, "I was so worried."

"Aye, I can see that. What did ye do while we were gone?"

"Baked bread and weeded."

"Ah, then I ken ye were worrit somethin awful. It was the first time, lassie, but as ye and I ken our laddies, most likely willna be the last."

"Unfortunately, yes, I think you are right." Eleanor said, eying him. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Aye, twas not pleasant to do my duty by the lads and rememberin all the times my Da did the same. I never realized that he was right aboot it being harder fer him than on me."

She smiled at him, "Well, I don't think it would be a very good thing, if it wasn't hard on your heart, don't you think?"

"Aye, I think ye are right."

"It's a sign of a very good father," she held up her flowers, "This was very sweet, James. Moran taing," Eleanor said, softly.

"S e ur beatha"

She paused, "I have a hard time letting go of my past...both in the future and here. And that's my burden to bear, James. I'm sorry."

"Aye," Jamie paused and then reached out to squeeze her shoulder, "But I dinnae think tis only yer burden to bear. For we on this journey together- ye and John, Claire and I."

"They will grow up to be good little people, right, Jamie?"

"We will do our best to ensure so," he leaned to kiss her cheek, "I need to go check on Claire."

She nodded, "And I want to go get the ladies from Bree now the boys are home."

"Aye, verra gut," Jamie said. "I'm glad this unpleasantness is over with."

"God help me, me too!" Eleanor exclaimed. "I think I got 20 more grey hairs overnight."

Jamie chuckled, "Nah, maybe only one or two."

"James Alexander Malcom Mackenzie Fraser!" Eleanor pretended to be offended. She poked at him, "You are lucky that you have red hair."

"Aye," Jamie laughed harder, "I am. Dinnae fash. Ye will always be younger than me."

She giggled, "Yes. I will. See you later, alligator."

"After a while crocodile," Jamie replied, not missing a beat as they walked away.

And Eleanor knew that the only way parenting their four would work, is if Jamie and her remained a team. They had their difficulties, but fighting for understanding always led them to a sweeter place than before. And she was grateful for him...as a father...and as a friend.

The journey to Auntie's was less trying with four adults to wrangle the children. And when they arrived, they met Susanna and Tom, the former who immediately gathered her charges in hand, giving the adults much needed time to recover as well as mingle with the guests.

And the next day, festivities were full in force...but what Eleanor did not anticipate was Tryon would be attending the gathering as well. She should have thought of it, but she had been so occupied by the children and the past few weeks, that she was shocked to see him, chatting with guests, his wife at his side.

"John," Eleanor breathed, turning away as they saw them from afar.

"All will be well," John said, softly in her ear, his hand firm on her elbow. "You look stunning, darling and you have nothing to fear from any of this."

Jamie leaned in away from Claire to whisper to them, "You can escape now, lass. We will make excuses. Blame the wee uns."

"She will do no such thing," John told him, "I will not have her shamed. Tis no reason for others to suspect something is amiss. She can fulfill her obligation to greet the governor of North Carolina properly," John told Jamie.

"Of course, she can," Jamie nodded.

"John," Eleanor swallowed hard, "I need you."

"I am right here," he said, "but you will do this. You must."

John slowly turned her towards Tryon, guiding her in the direction of the governor and his wife.

"Lord and Lady John Grey," Tryon bowed deeply, "What a pleasure it is to see you on this joyous occasion."

"Your excellency," Eleanor murmured, curtsying, John's grip firm on her elbow, as he bowed with her, "A delight to see you again. And Mistress Tryon, it has been too long," she said, softly. "We have missed seeing you on our visits."

"Her excellency," Tryon said, pointedly.

Eleanor could feel John's fingers grip her elbow even harder and while his face remained impassive, she could sense his tension in his body. Jamie on the other side of her, exchanged a look with him and then looked at Claire.

"I do apologize if I caused offense," Eleanor cleared her throat and then looked directly into Tryon's eyes, "I was unaware that the king's appointment of your position in the colonies extended to Mistress Tryon as well."

John coughed and turned his head away, but in doing so caught Jamie's eye, which nearly sent both men into spasms. Eleanor's wit was unmatched, especially when her temper was sparked.

"Nonsense," Margaret put a hand on Tryon's arm, "Lady John does not have to address me as such." She curtsied, "Lady John, you are looking well." She looked past her, "And Colonel and Mistress Fraser, how do you do?"

"Verra well," Jamie bowed.

"Did you enjoy your travels?" Claire asked.

"Indeed, immensely," Margaret said. "Lady John, you must be weary for home. I have heard it has been several months since you have been in Virginia."

"Yes," Eleanor smiled, "I do miss Virginia. We sent our son William home to continue his studies with his tutor. I miss Mt. Josiah, but I especially miss him."

"An ideal step mother to the boy," Tryon said, his eyes on her. "One might think step children might be a burden on a new marriage."

Margaret laughed, "Surely not. How many step children do you have between you?"

"I have four and John had one, but we are grateful for every single one of them," Eleanor said.

"Indeed, we most certainly are," John said, firmly, "Speaking of the dear ones, we must go and check on them to make sure they are not too underfoot. Excuse us," John tugged her aside with another bow and cursty, making their leave.

"Hope," Eleanor shifted her on her hip, "What do you think of this horse?"

"Hope touch horsie mama?" Hope asked.

"Yes, but like Papa taught you, very gentle, darling," Eleanor said, showing her how to pet the horse. "Rosie, I can pick you up and let you next."

"Hope still petting her!" Hope said, adamantly.

"Well, you do have to take turns," Eleanor said, "I can't juggle both of you in this fancy dress I'm wearing...and if I get it too dirty, Papa will be most displeased."

The girls had been restless, so Eleanor had taken them down to the stables to visit the horses, hoping from a distraction from the loud festivities. They looked darling in their dresses that Auntie had made for them and she hoped they wouldn't get them too dirty in the barn...but she was desperate.

"Would you permit me?"

Eleanor nearly jumped as Tryon greeted her.

"Yes, if you don't mind," she said, her heart beating through her chest. Her face flushed at the sight of him, and the memory of their liaison weeks ago.

"Not at all," Tryon said, easily as he bent down to greet Rosie and then ask permission to pick her up which she gave shyly. Rosie began to pet the horse as well.

"I was surprised to see Mistress Tryon," Eleanor said, softly.

"Ah, yes, she arrived a few weeks back."

"I'm sure you are grateful for her safe return to you," Eleanor commented.

"Indeed, I am," Tryon said, "Isn't she a beauty?" He paused, "The mare that is."

"Aye," Hope said loudly, "Horsie pretty!"

"Yes, very," Tryon said. He put Rosie down and then reached for Hope, placing her down too. "Young Rose, will you not take your sister to see your nanny? I saw her just outside the barn, watching your brothers. I wish to speak to your mama."

"I'm not sure that is wise, your excellency," Eleanor said, softly...but her voice was firm.

"Nonsense, there is plenty of people milling around...and you are the wife of my very good friend. I wish to speak to you. You wouldn't deny your king's appointed governor- your sovereign?"

"Your excellency, I am from the colony of Virginia..." Eleanor said, her head titled and her eyes pointed.

"Ah, but we are residing in North Carolina at the moment, are we not?"

"Very well," She leaned down to Rose, "Rosie, take Hope's hand and go find Susanna."

"Yes, mama," Rosie said, taking Hope's hand.

Eleanor watched her daughters and then turned to Tryon, her stomach in knots.

She was alone with him. The man she had an affair with...

God help her.

A/N: Had to split this chapter- getting way too long...up next Tryon and Eleanor have a conversation and John and her return to Mt. Josiah and a special visitor arrives.