A/N: Thank you for those who have taken time to read and review! Your thoughts really encourage me to keep writing though time has been scarce. So sorry for the delay. I'm trying to squeeze in time to write. Hope everyone is staying well! If you have a chance, I'd love to know your thoughts about this chapter. :)
Chapter 42:
Alone with Tryon, Eleanor forced a warm smile, hoping he would find it genuine, "How may I help you, your excellency?"
Tryon searched her eyes, "Why did you leave so suddenly?"
Eleanor's heart skipped a beat, "Leave?" she asked, quizzically.
"Don't be coy. You know of what I speak," Tryon said, his eyes intensely scrutinizing her.
"As I wrote to you, my children needed me." She forced herself to look at him, willing herself to be brave.
"No, I think not," Tryon frowned.
"I assure you it to be so," Eleanor said, evenly. "Do you find my word lacking, your excellency?"
"Not as a general rule, my dear," Tryon retorted, his frown easing slightly. "In this regards, though...tis convenient excuse to be sure, but is it the truth?" he asked, taking a step towards her, "You felt guilty...and you still do, even now, weeks later."
She opted for the truth because at least this line of questioning took her away from the real reason she had left- to warn Jamie, and in doing so committing treason and becoming an accessory to murder. "Y-yes," she stammered, "of course I did. What woman wouldn't?"
"Plenty," He moved closer to her and reached out to touch her face, "You are so very charming at times, Eleanor."
"You find my guilt amusing, do you?"
"Indeed. You have plenty of worldly experience, Eleanor, and yet, there is innocence to you that cannot be denied." He tapped his fingers against her flushed face, "Allow me to reassure you. Tis no reason to feel guilt. We both were willing parties. Very willing."
"But regardless of that fact," Eleanor's voice grew hoarse, "I wronged my husband by doing so. And I love Lord John very much as I'm sure you love her excellency."
He chuckled, "It wasn't meant as a slight, Eleanor," he said, his voice low."I do hope you didn't take it that way."
"I do not care either way," she said, swallowing hard, "We owe each other nothing."
"Except you owe me loyalty," Tryon said, his fingers moving to grip her arm.
"And I am loyal to you...and the crown," Eleanor tried to take a step back, but he pulled her back. "That doesn't mean I have to..." she paused, "Isn't it lovely to see Mistress Tryon back? And looking so well?" the words rushed out.
He laughed further, "Indeed, tis so. But we are not talking of Mistress Tryon. What happened to the child?"
"I lost her soon after I left the palace," Eleanor said, looking away.
"I see," Tryon said, "I'm sorry to hear it."
"Yes, it was a loss...for myself and Lord John," Eleanor said, trying to take another step back but Tryon's grip was still firmly on your arm, "Can you just let go of me?"
"I think not," Tryon said.
"I'm sure Mistress Tryon is looking for you," Eleanor said, grasping at straws.
Tryon laughed, "She is otherwise engaged. She enjoys these social occasions. As do I...because we get to meet the most intriguing people."
He pulled her against him.
"The barn door is open," Eleanor hissed, "My reputation and yours could be ruined."
"No, tis not," Tryon inclined his head, "My secretary shut it. As you can see, tis just you and I in here. And you look so fetching, Ellie. And the way you spoke to me earlier...with such spirit. I cannot deny..." he pulled her in for a kiss, Eleanor struggling to get away, but his grasp was firm.
"Give into me," he commanded, with authority, his eyes intent on her.
"I do not think so," Eleanor said, "As I said before it, it was unfortunate what happened before...and I do not wish for it to happen again."
"You say that now," Tryon chastised, "Let's see what you are saying in a few moments."
He pulled her close to him and claimed her mouth again. Eleanor managed to tear away from him again, "Wait!" she blurted out, "I told Lord John."
Tryon was aghast, "you did what?"
"Da," Hope toddled over to Jamie and put her arms up, "Hope wanna Da!" she cried, the tears staining her face. "Hope so scarrit. Hope so sad!"
Jamie immediately bent down and took his daughter into his arms, "What are ye lassies doing all by yerself?" he asked, his brow creased in worry. "Where is Mama, Hope?" he asked, giving his daughter a kiss on the head and holding her tight, trying to comfort his distraught daughter. He looked over to Rosie, who was crying silently.
"Mama with man," Hope said, "in b...barn."
Jamie juggled Hope and bent down to talk to Rosie, "Dinnae fash, leannan, ye are safe now..." he asked, gently, "but I need to ken who Mama is with in the barn."
"Governor Tryon," Rosie cried, "He said Susanna was outside but she wasna and we couldna find ye or Papa and I was scarrit. Tis so many people here. But we kept lookin until we found ye. I tried to be brave. I ken ye would have wanted me too, but I dinnae like all these people here, Da!"
Jamie sighed and reached to put his arm around his daughter, pulling her close, "Ye did verra weel to come and find me, alainn ros. I'm so verra proud of ye, takin care of yer sister even if ye were scarrit." He straightened and offered his hand to Rose, which she took and clung to. He scanned the groupings of people, chatting and dancing, "Come, lassies, there is yer Papa, talkin over there."
He strode over to where Lord John was talking to a group of men. He glanced in Jamie's direction, saw the girls and Jamie's grim face and immediately excused himself with a low bow.
He strode quickly to the trio and immediately reached for Rosie, who was still crying. "Come to Papa, darling," he said and she immediately let go of Jamie's hand and allowed John to pick her up and hold her. "I thought you both were with your mama," he said, "All is well, sweetheart, you don't have to be afraid." He kissed her head, sweetly.
"I thought I would never find ye," Rosie hiccuped onto his shoulder, "he said Susanna was outside the barn but she wasna and I dinnae ken what to do. I dinnae like all these people here. I dinnae ken them."
John looked to Jamie for an explanation, aghast.
"I found the lassies lost and searchin for us," Jamie said, "Tryon is with Eleanor in the barn. He had sent the girls away, thinking Susanna was outside with Mac and Sam. They must have left before the girls got outside. He must have pressured Eleanor to send the wee uns out without her, ye ken how fierce she is aboot her bairns."
"Great God in heaven," John grunted, "God only knows what he is trying right now...and with Mistress Tryon and myself only steps away."
"What is he trying with my mama?" Rosie asked, wide eyed.
"Never ye mind," Jamie said, catching Claire's eye from across the way. She immediately came to their side.
"Can ye take the bairns to Susanna? Or at least inside the house?" Jamie asked.
"Of course," Claire said, "but..."
"Mama with man in barn," Hope said as Jamie handed her to Claire.
Claire looked between Jamie and John, who had put Rosie down but still had his hand, protectively on her head. "Perhaps you should leave the matter to Lord John and assist me with your daughters," she suggested lightly.
"Ach, no," Jamie said, "I canna do that, especially when Lord John might need assistance."
"Jamie, the last thing you need is to involve yourself in Tryon's personal affairs...Lord John is a gentleman and has a different sort of relationship with Tryon than you do..." Claire argued. "Do not be foolish about this."
"I willna be, but I will go with him, as I believe he would do the same fer me," Jamie said, his voice firm, "Please take the wee uns back to the house."
"Very well," Claire sighed, knowing Jamie's look well. He would not back down. Her gazed traveled from Jamie to John, who was looking very tense, but was waiting for Jamie to join him.
Jamie and John began walking towards the barn.
"Do not permit me to lose my temper," John said, quietly.
"It is rare that ye do," Jamie said, clasping his shoulder.
"Yes, but if I see him and her...engaged in scandal, I cannot account for the actions I might take, especially if he is forcing the matter."
"I canna account fer my actions if he is forcin himself on Ellie, either, and I do believe he would be havin to fer Eleanor to permit such attentions again," he paused, "Ye dinnae doubt yer wife, do ye?"
"Of course, I do not," John said, "I just do not trust him."
"Aye, I dinnae disagree with ye there," Jamie said, "on multiple accounts...especially since he said he is waiting to be appointed to New York. Ye dinnae think he would do somethin foolish to prove himself worthy of that post?"
John sighed and then turned his head to look at Jamie, "I think it is a very good possibility that you will be called to war soon, my friend."
"Tis what I thought as weel," Jamie groaned as they approached the barn.
"Why would you do something so foolish?" Tryon demanded. "You are lucky John did not throw you out."
"I felt so guilty," Eleanor said, "especially after I lost the baby and he demanded to know what was wrong. John knows me so well, it is next to impossible to hide anything from him."
"Still he forgave you," Tryon said. "That is obvious by the way he admires you, especially when he thinks no one is looking. But you have made this situation precarious for me...Lord John's brother is the Duke of Pardloe...and as such he has connections in England that I do not."
"Yes, I know," Eleanor said, seeking to smooth the situation over, "But I do not believe John would want to admit that his wife strayed, so I do not think you need to worry. I only told you because he will be suspicious if he finds us together."
"But the last I saw Lord John, he was quite engaged in conversation with several of the men from the colony," Tryon said, his voice light, "I do not think you have to fear."
He pulled her against him again, his mouth claiming hers, but before anything else could happen the barn door creaked open and Eleanor jumped away from him, his hand letting go of her arm immediately.
She turned to see John enter the barn, Jamie behind him. John's face was impassive, but she knew he was well aware what was happening.
"Ah, Lady John, there you are," John's voice was low. He walked over to where she was standing next to Tryon and greeted her with a kiss on her flushed cheek. "My darling, Mistress Cameron has requested a visit from you."
Eleanor glanced at Jamie, whose expression was stoic, but she knew that he was seething from the tightly gripped fist by his side.
"Aye, Lady John, I think Auntie wishes yer company on such a special day," Jamie said, forcing an easy smile.
"I was unaware that Lady John was such dear friends with Mistress Cameron. I would think that Mistress Fraser could attend to Mistress Cameron on her wedding eve."
"Ah, no," Jamie said, easily, "Mistress Fraser is otherwise occupied. And my Auntie is of course verra fond of Eleanor, being the mother of her beloved wee grand niece and nephews," he added. "But I do believe she would have been fond of Lady John regardless of that association."
"Of course," Tryon said, "We are all very fond of Lady John. Tis quite easy to do."
The way he said the word fond caused John to cough, the only indication that he was upset.
"Aye, tis so," Jamie retorted, dryly. "Verra much so."
"Indeed," Tryon eyed Jamie, measuring his reaction.
"Eleanor, dearest," John said, firmly, reaching for her hand and pulling her towards the door, "You do not want to keep Mistress Cameron waiting. Tis not good manners." His tone held a stern rebuke causing her to flush further. It was rare John used that tone with her, especially in company but she understood that he needed her to remove herself from the situation immediately and let himself handle Tryon.
"Of course," Eleanor said, "Please do excuse me, your excellency," she curtseyed.
"Of course," Tryon said, "Be well, Lady John. Tis always a pleasure to be in your company," he gave her a low bow.
Eleanor left the men without a look back. When she had closed the barn door behind her, she rushed to behind the barn, away from the company that lingered around and leaned over, trying to still her thumping heart. She gave herself a few moments and then straightened and walked towards the house, to see Auntie.
"You will leave her be," John's voice was low as soon as the door closed behind Eleanor. Wasting no time, he turned around to face Tryon. "If all goes according to plan, you will headed to New York with your wife. She has told me the truth of the matter, but I doubt Mistress Tryon is aware that you have had carnal knowledge of my wife."
Tryon raised an eyebrow and glanced at Jamie before returning his gaze to John, "I did not force her, John. She was quite the willing party. Perhaps, she needed a bit of coaxing, she can be a shy one, but you can tell that Fraser trained her well. We all reaped the benefits of it, you included I suspect." He laughed.
Jamie could barely contain his anger, and John's hand immediately came out, cautioning him. He looked at him, meeting his eyes, a message of caution passing between them and Jamie retorted,
"I am loyal to the crown, yer excellency, and I will abide by my oath to ye, but make no mistake," Jamie's teeth gritted as he straightened his back, "I willna tolerate any man referring to the mother of my children as if she is some common whore."
"I do apologize, Colonel Fraser. Sharing three..." he paused, "I do apologize, no, four children with her, must endear you greatly to her."
"I am endeared greatly to the lass fer reasons that I dinnae have to nor willna ever explain to ye."
"Tell me, John, why do you give me such warning, when it is clear that yet another man covets your wife and yet you call him a friend, do you not?"
John cleared his throat, "Mister Fraser and Lady John share a history to be certain, but I do not fear what you insinuate."
"Perhaps you should," Tryon said, lightly. "Clearly, Colonel Fraser is just as jealous of Lady John with me, perhaps even more so than you are."
"I do not need to be jealous," John countered, "For I am confident in Eleanor's word to me that she will not be unfaithful again. But I will not have you seeking out her attention. She has made her wishes clear and even though you are the governor of this colony, I am a gentleman and she is my wife. There will be consequences to have, your excellency, if you do not respect her wishes."
Tryon laughed, "Ah, very well, Lord John," he turned to go but then swung around, "however, I must say young Hope is looking more and more like her father every day and sounding like him too. She has picked up some verra charming expressions. It would be a pity for Lady John's reputation to be ruined if it was found out. And little Hope being so precious to us all. Even being brought under the protection of Lord John as her stepfather couldn't save her from that unfortunate past as she grows into society. A pity, the whole sordid affair," he paused again, looking at Jamie, "You can explain away the others, but wee Hope? Tis so very hard to reconcile. It will be a very great pity, indeed."
John cleared his throat and responded before Jamie could, "A greater pity perhaps if her excellency finds out about you and Lady John..."
"Would you ruin the reputation of your family so readily?"
"Presume to threaten my daughter and then yes," John said, "I enjoy society, but I often find the quiet pleasure of being at home with my wife and stepchildren more than satisfies my desire for company. As you have said quite often, my wife's wit and intelligence is unmatched. I find an evening with her more lively than an evening than almost any one I have met so far. And I am quite content with being at Mt. Josiah with Eleanor at my side, living a quiet life...well, as quiet as it can be with five children occupying the home," John gave an easy smile, "Would you say the same for yourself?" he asked, lightly, but the implication was clear. Tryon was greedy for power.
"Your point is quite clear, Lord John," Tryon said, dryly. "I do hope this will not negatively affect our friendship."
"Of course not," John said, with another charming grin and bow. "Good day, your excellency."
Tryon left and John turned to Jamie, "there are far other methods more effective than a good clip to the jaw, but you cannot believe how sorely tempted I was."
"Aye, I can," Jamie said, with a smile at his friend. "Did ye mean what ye said though?"
"About what?" John asked, looking at the horse, who was trying to get their attention. He reached out to pet it, the horse snorting. "Your aunt has exceptional taste."
"Aye, she does," Jamie said, "Aboot Eleanor...and being content out of society as long as ye have her?"
"Well," John let out a long breath, still petting the horse, "you have been married to Eleanor before...is it so much of a reach for you to believe it be so...?"
"Nah, I felt verra similar with Ellie as weel," Jamie smiled, "I'm just verra glad to hear ye say so. There is a specialness to the lass and I am verra glad that ye value that in her as weel."
"I just feel the consequences of me being so forthcoming with Tryon will come back to haunt us."
"Dinna fash aboot that, Lord John," Jamie said, "I dinnae think that Tryon will wish to cross ye considerin yer connections. He will probably go back to pretending this never happened."
"But perhaps make your life more difficult?" John said, quietly.
"I dinnae worry aboot that," Jamie said, "fer he was always goin to make my life troublesome."
"Perhaps you are right," John said.
"Lady John," Jocasta smiled and reached out her hands, "Come and sit, my dear."
"I hope I am not intruding, but I need a place away," Eleanor said, softly, stepping across the room to grip Jocasta's hands, squeezing them gently.
"To hide away?" Jocasta asked, wryly as Ellie sat next to her on the sofa. She reached over to pat her hand, affectionately.
"Yes, Governor Tryon had cornered me to chat in the barn."
"Chat, do ye say?" Jocasta frowned. "In the barn? Did he make advances?"
"Yes, but Lord John is with him right now. Jamie is there too and Claire is none too pleased with me that I put your nephew in that situation."
Claire had stopped her in the hall and let her displeasure for the situation known- that the girls were left unattended and now Jamie was mixed up in her problems once again, this time in which the outcome could be far more severe for them since Tryon had such leverage over Jamie. Eleanor retorted that she never wished Jamie to be involved with Tryon at all, but no one consulted her about taking the land from Tryon. And that Jamie was quite capable of taking care of himself and keeping his temper when he puts his mind to it. The whole incident added to Eleanor's frustration, which was already high.
Auntie chuckled, "Ye canna stop my nephew from wishin to protect the mother of his wee bairns. He wrote to me, ye ken."
"About?" Eleanor breathed in.
"Askin fer me to consider not inviting either ye or Governor Tryon to the wedding. It dinnae take much to figure out why Jamie wouldna want ye to be in the same place as Tryon."
Eleanor took a deep breath and let it out, "He shouldn't have interfered."
"Aye, tis what I told him in my letter back to the lad. He canna interfere in yer affairs any longer, though it is admirable he wishes to protect ye still," Jocasta said. "he worries over ye, Eleanor. So verra much. And perhaps that is why Claire is so put out with ye at the moment."
"It wasn't what I wanted...Tryon I mean," Ellie said, quietly. "He had information that if read would have been harmful to Jamie...and I..." her voice trailed off.
"Ye dinnae have to explain," Jocasta patted her hand again. "Ye wish to protect Jamie just as much as he wishes to protect ye. I'm grateful to ye fer it, Ellie. Tis a rare woman ye are."
Eleanor smiled at her, "Thank you, Auntie."
"And as fer Claire," Jocasta smiled, "I wouldna worry too much aboot that."
"I'll try," Eleanor said, softly. "I just want us all to get along."
Jocasta quietly snorted, "Ye can wish fer that, lassie, I dinnae think ye can expect it to be, not considerin your past."
"Wise words, Auntie," Eleanor said.
Eleanor spent a long while with Jocasta before helping Susanna tuck the children into bed. The festivities were still going on outside and Eleanor went in search of Lord John, who had surprisingly had not found her since the incident with Tryon. She was headed towards the gathering when an arm shot out, pulling her to the side of the house. The other hand was clasped around her mouth and she heard the words, "I need yer help," in her ear, the gruff voice unmistakable.
She forced herself to relax and Murtagh let her go.
"You shouldn't be here," she whispered.
Murtagh put a finger his lip before drawing her further into the shadows of the house which was looming in the moonlight.
Eleanor studied him, "Are you well, Murtagh?"
"Aye," Murtagh nodded. "As weel as I can be."
"You must be careful," Eleanor retorted, "Tryon is here and there is a price on your head. And he is hoping for the appointment to New York which means he is going to wish to deal with the regulators harshly, to prove himself to the crown. You must take care, Murtagh."
"Aye, tis troublesome indeed, but that isna why I need yer help, lassie."
She paused, "You wish to see Jocasta."
"Aye, I do, verra much so. Will ye no help me, mo buidheig?" Murtagh asked. "Sneak me into the house?"
"What do you hope to accomplish?" Eleanor pulled her shawl closer to her, wrapping it around her hands.
"I dinnae ken, but I must try," Murtagh said, "Can ye not understand that? Tis what I should have told ye what to do with the lad."
"No, protecting my heart was the right thing to do," Eleanor said, "the practical thing to do."
"No, Ellie, it wasna," Murtagh said, softly. "And I regret I dinnae do more fer ye."
She studied him for a few minutes, "Okay. Do you have a plan at least?"
He chuckled softly, "Aye, I have a plan."
Eleanor was standing outside Jocasta's door keeping watch when John turned the corner.
"There you are," John said, greeting her with soft kiss. "I am sorry I wasn't able to find you before. Jamie learned some information about Stephen Bonnet and I was trying to help him."
"No worries," Eleanor said, trying to stay calm, but her voice cracked ever so slightly causing John to frown.
"What are you up to, Lady John?" he asked, studying her intently, "Why are you standing guard outside Mistress Cameron's room?"
"I'm not standing guard," Eleanor laughed, but John held up his hand.
"Yes, you are," John said, sternly, he leaned over to whisper in her ear, "And I do hope you are not aiding a fugitive under Tryon's nose because if you are, that would be a most serious lapse of sound judgment."
She gulped, "Can we discuss this later?"
"You may depend upon it," John said and then leaned against the wall, "And in the meantime, I will wait with you to ensure if you find yourself in a precarious predicament, I can intervene."
She stuck her tongue out at him and in a swift movement he tackled her against the wall, his mouth on hers, his tongue lashing against hers.
"Oh good God," Eleanor groaned as his hand reached behind her to tangle up his hand in her hair, pinning her against him.
It was then the door opened and Murtagh came out and John drew away from her.
"Everything okay?" Eleanor asked, quietly.
Murtagh avoided her gaze, "Aye. Thank ye lass."
And Eleanor knew that Jocasta would be wedded tomorrow.
"I'm sorry."
"Aye. I must go," Murtagh said.
Eleanor leaned to kiss his cheek, softly. "Please take care."
Murtagh glanced at John and then reached up to pat the side of her face, affectionately, "Dinnae fash aboot me." He turned to John, "Take care of her and the wee uns..."
John nodded. Murtagh turned and then he was gone.
Eleanor closed her eyes briefly, a feeling of dread coming over her. She was disconcerted.
John's arm immediately came around her, pulling her close. He kissed her head, tenderly.
"May we go to bed?" Eleanor asked, quietly.
"To sleep?" John asked, "It has been a long day."
She reached for his hand, squeezing it in hers, "to finish what you just started."
He nodded and then led him to their room, taking her into his arms.
John traced his fingers over her shoulder as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Are you angry about earlier?" Ellie asked, adjusting the blanket to cover them both.
"About Tryon or Mr. Fitzgibbons?" he asked, dryly, poking her hard.
"Oh dear," she laughed, "I suppose I haven't been on my best behavior today."
"Well, truth be told, I cannot fault you for Tryon," John said, gently, brushing her hair off her shoulders, to lean down and kiss her shoulder where he had poked her. "As for Mr. Fitzgibbons, I find that any anger I might have felt at you aiding him, dissipated when I saw his tenderness towards you and knowing the reception he most likely received from Mistress Cameron."
"The sad thing is that I think they could have been very good together," Eleanor offered. "Blasted Tryon."
"Tis not entirely on Tryon's head, Eleanor, my darling," John chided with another kiss, this time on her head.
She let out a long breath, "I know." She turned her head to look at him, "What will happen, John?"
John looked at her evenly, "I do not know."
Eleanor rested her head against his, "I love you, dearly, Lord John."
"As do I, Lady John," John said, "But do try to stay out of mischief tomorrow. Betwixt you and Jamie, I do not think I can take much more intrigue."
But that was not to be.
"Eleanor," Jamie greeted her after auntie's wedding, "John. Will ye no take a walk with me?"
"Both of us?" John asked.
"Aye," Jamie nodded, "I must speak privately to both of ye."
"Very well," John offered his arm to Eleanor as they walked together, away from the house, to stroll by the river.
It was when they were assured solitude, Jamie stopped and turned, "I leave for battle tonight."
Eleanor gripped John's arm harder, leaning into him. "No!"
John's other hand immediately came to cover hers, holding it against him. "Darling," he whispered, his voice soothing, wishing to ease this blow for Eleanor, who was sure to worry nonstop about Jamie's safety. He turned to Jamie, "Then it has come to it."
"Aye, Tryon is determined. It is what we feared," Jamie said, his voice even. "I wish you to take the wee uns back to Mt. Josiah."
"No, we should go to the Ridge," Ellie said, adamantly, "Wait for your return."
"Ah, no," Jamie shook his head, "I willna have the bairns so worrit aboot me. Ye will go on with yer life, Eleanor. Ye must go back home..to William."
"Jamie, please, we can send for William," Eleanor bit her lip. "How can you expect us to go on just like that?"
"Because it is what I want. And I want you to honor that as ye have honored me."
"Of course, we will take the little ones back to Mt. Josiah," John said, "And we will wait and pray for word that you and all the Ridge is safe."
Ellie groaned, "I just wish I knew more about North Carolina's history. Growing up in Virginia, I know about life in Virginia at this time- we studied our state's history, but not the history of another. Generally speaking, I think the Crown will win this uprising, but there will be causalities."
"Aye, it is a battle," Jamie said, his voice low. "Tis to be expected."
Eleanor chewed her thumb, "What should we tell the children?"
"Nothin," Jamie said, his voice gruff. "Ye will tell them nothin. I willna have them worrit. Being at Mt. Josiah will shield them from that."
"Of course," John said, patting Eleanor's hand. He exchanged a look with Jamie. "Do take care, Jamie."
"Aye, of course," Jamie nodded. "Claire will be with me to tend to any sort of mischief I might get myself into."
Eleanor's eyes widened. "Do not get shot, James Fraser!" she blurted out.
"I dinnae intend to, mo ghraidh," Jamie said, quietly. "Tis a precaution."
John gently detangled her hand from his arm. "I will give you two a few moments alone. Eleanor, I'll wait for you in the garden. Come and find me."
She nodded and John left them alone.
She was quiet, her anxiety palatable. Jamie watched her, trying to gauge how to respond to her. He wish to ease her anxiety, which he knew was weighing on her something fierce at the moment. When he spoke, his voice was gentle, the words tender.
"Ye dinnae have to fear fer my safety, lass. I have been to battle before."
"I know and I am sure you are quite good at fighting and killing, but the other side might be good as well, so I do not have to like it," Eleanor's voice shook and then she tried to reel her emotions in, "I'm sorry. I know you are left little choice but to do this."
"Aye," Jamie said, slowly, "If somethin was to happen, which I dinnae believe it will, but ye will be weel taken care of with Lord John."
"Of course," She nodded, "I'm not worried for myself, but for our children."
"I trust ye and John to raise them properly if...if somethin should happen."
She put her fist on her forehead and groaned, tears filling her eyes. "They need you, Jamie."
Jamie grunted and then reached for her, pulling her tightly against him, "I ken ye are scarrit...fer the wee uns." he whispered.
"It's not just on behalf of the children," she whispered back.
"I ken that too," he pulled away, tipping up her chin, "Ye must be brave, lassie. Promise me."
"Do not ask me to be something I am not capable of being."
"Ah, Eleanor, mo ghraidh, I dinnae have any doubt that ye are capable of it," Jamie said, tenderly. "And as such, I need yer word," he pushed her chin from side to side, "Ye willna fall apart in fear of what may or may not happen. But ye will carry on doing what ye must...for the sake of yourself and our children. Will ye no promise me?"
"I promise I will try," She searched his eyes. "It's the best I can offer you."
"I'll take it," Jamie said, dropping his hand.
"Please don't die," she murmured under her breath.
He reached out to touch her face, gently, "I will do my verra best."
She nodded and tugged off her ring. "Take this," she put it in his hand and shut his palm around it, "John gave this to me as a way that I would have both him and you forever with me...in this gem. And I give it back to you...to borrow, so I can have faith that you will live to return it to me safely." Her voice caught, "And you will then carry both John and I with you in battle in this gem, as we cannot be with you. But I do want it back, so you will take care. Promise me again."
Jamie took the ring, putting it in his pocket, "Aye, I promise ye. I will return this to ye...at Mt. Josiah, when I come for a visit. Thank ye, mo ghraidh." He wiped her tears with the pad of his thumb. "Dinnae cry fer me, lassie."
She nodded, "I will be brave."
"Aye," Jamie gave her a smile, "I ken ye will."
She managed a smile back, "Je suis prest, James."
His smiled widened, "Aye," he titled his head at her and then gave her a determined nod. "Je suis prest." He took her hand, kissing it affectionately, "But before we part ways, I do have instructions for the wee uns. If ye are willin to hear it..."
She nodded, "I am willing to hear it... as a precaution," she said, softly, "Nothing more."
"Aye, of course," Jamie said.
And when they at last parted, Ellie found John in the garden and he opened his arms up for her. He held her tightly against him.
"I gave Jamie my ring to borrow for luck," Eleanor said, "so he would have a piece of both of us in battle. Is that okay? I should have asked you first."
He pulled away from her, "That's very touching, Eleanor. And fitting. I could never be mad at you for that. I know how much you treasure that ring and how much I do because of how in that one stone, it entwines all of us. In friendship...and in love." He tipped up her chin and kissed her mouth, softly. "We must go home, Eleanor."
"I long for home, John," Eleanor said. "Take me home to Mt. Josiah. To Virginia."
He kissed her again and then offered his hand. She put his hand in his, knowing that her future was secure with John...and that could handle together whatever was to come.
And so Eleanor and John carried on, focusing on the children and tending to their needs. But after the returned home, John would find Eleanor's mind occupied and he would know what she was thinking on. It was in those quiet moments, he would reach for her hand, squeezing it softly...or rub her arm gently, providing her much needed comfort. Their eyes would meet and he would give her a small smile which she would return, their hearts meeting as one. And in those moments with John...those moments proved what she knew was always true- he was her rock. They carried on- there was business and socializing and for the children, lessons to be learned, scraped knees to be kissed and bandaged, fights to be broken up and in spite of the worry and ache both John and Eleanor held over Jamie's fate... laugher all around.
Eleanor was by the stream one afternoon, Hope and Rosie following her along as she picked flowers with the girls. She was telling them a fairy tale as the girls loved stories. She so wished she had all the books that she did for Charlotte and Harry, in her time, but for the lack of books they had, Eleanor made up for by recalling the stories she used to read to her own children...and her school children. This one was about Cinderella and the girls were happily enjoying it until, a twig snapped and Eleanor, startled, tripping over her own two feet. She managed not to fall, but her senses were alight. Her heart began to beat fast.
"Jamie?" she asked, breathing hard.
A man stepped out from the tree, a ways from them. "No, Auntie, it is I."
Eleanor's eyes widened and she dropped the basket, the flowers falling.
"Mama, the flowers fell!" Hope said, disapprovingly.
"Shh," Rosie said, wide eyed, staring at the intruder.
"Who that?" Hope asked and stuck her thumb in her mouth.
Eleanor ignored her daughters and ran to where the man was standing, "Ian! Oh, Ian!" she flung her arms around him. "Oh, God, it's Ian." Tears clouded her vision as she gripped his face in her hands. "Look at you. I never thought I would look upon your face again." She studied his tattoos and his hair and he had changed, but he was still Ian. And how she had missed him...never even got to say goodbye, to the boy that was so dear to her heart.
Ian studied her, "Dinnae cry, Auntie."
Her lip trembled, "I cannot help it. I am just so thankful. Are you okay? I mean...are you well?"
He nodded, but it was clear, from the his guarded expression, that all was not well.
Eleanor forced a smile, "Come," she looped her arm through his, "Your cousins will be so excited to see you."
He nodded again, his bow draped over his shoulder. He walked with her back to where Hope and Rosie were watching with wide eyes and thumbs in their mouth.
He bent down to right the basket and begin to pick up the flowers. "I'm sorry about the flowers. You probably don't remember me...you were so wee when I was gone."
The girls shook their heads, quite in awe of the man standing in front of them, who looked so different than what they were used to. But then Hope bravely squared her shoulders and said, "I Hope. Hope Emma-line Fra-ser Grey," she said, seriously.
"Fraser?" Ian glanced at Eleanor.
She smiled again, "Hope is also your cousin, Ian..." she put a hand on her daughter's curly head, "it all kind of came out a few months ago. Your Uncle Jamie is thrilled to have another wee lass to love."
"Aye," Ian nodded, "I kind of thought so...before. She looks like Uncle Jamie." He handed the basket to Rosie, "And you must be Rose. Ye are much bigger than I remember."
Rosie nodded, shyly. "Are you coming home with us, Ian?"
He nodded and then Rosie offered her hand, "I'll show ye the way, cousin." she said, her voice small, but sweet.
"I'd like that," he said, seriously, taking his cousin's hand. Eleanor smiled again and offered her hand to Hope. "The boys are going to be so thrilled, Ian."
"Aye, I've missed them," he told her, quietly, carrying the basket for her in one hand and holding Rose's hand in the other one, "And ye as well, Auntie."
"Tell us aboot the Mohawk, Ian!" Sam kicked his chair, excitingly at supper, "I wanna hear all aboot it!"
"Did they teach ye how to hunt like them?" Mac asked, curiously.
"And fight?!" Sam added, practically bouncing with glee, "Did ye ken how to fight like them?"
"Aye," Ian said, slowly, "I learned much from the Mohawk." He did not offer anything else and Eleanor exchanged a look with John.
"Shhh, boys," Eleanor admonished, "allow Ian to eat. He must be exhausted and famished from his travels."
"Yes," John wiped his mouth with a napkin, "Mama is right. Tis not proper to accost ones guest at the supper table," he reached over and ruffled Sam's head. "There will be plenty of time for stories later."
"Are you staying, Ian?" Sam asked, bumping his feet again.
"Samuel, you are disturbing the table when you do that," John scolded.
"Sorry, Papa," Sam frowned, "I dinnae mean to."
"I didn't say that you meant to," John said, his voice gentling. "Just perhaps, calm yourself bit, will you not?"
"Hope want to ken too!" Hope announced. "Hope learn to fight! Hope likes to bite!"
"That's not fighting, Hope," William said.
"Is too!" Hope retorted, sticking out her tongue.
"Hope," John shot his daughter a scathing look, "Do not stick your tongue out at your brother."
Hope started to wail and John's harsh tone. John put down his fork and then stood, reached over and scooped up his daughter. "We'll be back in a few minutes."
"Now Hope is going to git it!" Sam said, almost gleeful.
"Sam," William snapped. "That's not kind to be happy Hope is in trouble."
"She stuck out her tongue at you!" Sam retorted, kicking the table again.
"But she is a baby," William said.
"Samuel," Eleanor intervened, "William is right. It is not kind even though she shouldn't have stuck out her tongue. Eat your food and stop kicking the table or I am sending you to the kitchens with Susanna."
Samuel grunted at his mama, but did as she said. John returned a few minutes later with a much subdued Hope. But instead of putting her back in her seat, he held her in his lap. "Pass me Hope's plate, Mac," he said, his voice calm.
Eleanor raised her eyebrows at her husband, who gave her a gentle smile, "Sometimes there is a need to sit propriety aside, my darling," he retorted and she chuckled.
"I'm all for that, Lord John," Eleanor grinned at him.
John cleared his throat, "William, why don't you tell me about your lesson today?"
William nodded and launched into a story.
Eleanor took the opportunity to lean over to Ian, "I'm sorry the children are so...well...lively."
Ian leaned back over, "I wouldna expect differently, Auntie..."
"Yes, but I had hoped your first supper with us would be more peaceful."
"I dinnae mind, Auntie," Ian said, softly. "Tis verra gut to hear their chatter. I missed my cousins."
Eleanor smiled at her nephew, before returning her focus to her stepson.
"Ye dinnae have to make a fuss over me, Auntie," Ian said as Eleanor made sure that he had an extra blanket on his bed.
"You have to allow me to fuss just a bit, Ian," Ellie retorted. "It's an aunt's prerogative, especially in lieu of your own mama here." She smoothed the blanket.
Ian nodded, but pain clouded his eyes.
She studied him and then said slowly, "Can I get you anything else?"
"No, Auntie, thank ye," Ian said.
She nodded, "Pleasant dreams then," she smiled at him and turned to walk away before turning back and leaning to give him a kiss on the forehead. "I'm so glad you are here with us."
He nodded and she left him, with a click of the door. She leaned against it, her heart aching. She could tell all day that something was amiss with Ian. There was heartache and great sorrow, which he tried to hide, but he was altered from that innocent carefree boy she knew.
"Ian settled in?" John asked from his perch on the bed when she walked into their room.
"Yes," she frowned.
"What is it, Eleanor?" John asked.
She walked over and sat on the bed next to him, "Something is wrong, John."
He nodded, "I can tell."
She bit her lip, "What do I do?"
"You be Eleanor," John said. "There is a reason he stopped here before going to the Ridge. He wanted to see you. Clearly, he finds comfort in being around you."
"Yes, I'm glad he did," Eleanor said, "Should we tell him about Jamie and the possibility...?" her voice trailed off and once again, John offered his hand to her, which she took, holding it tightly.
"No," John shook his head swiftly, "There is no reason to worry him. News should arrive from the Ridge in due time. And I have the utmost confidence that Jamie is well."
She let out a long breath, "I thought he was Jamie, today by the river..." she admitted. "I was hoping he would come...to tell us he is safe."
"He most likely will," John said, "But he may not be able to leave the Ridge at the moment. We must be patient...and hope for word soon."
Eleanor leaned over to kiss John, "I can't thank you enough for being so steady with me since leaving River Run...well, always, but I feel closer to you than ever...and I'm so thankful for you."
"As I am for you," John kissed her back. "Now get undressed and come to bed, Lady John, so I can show you just how much."
She giggled, "If I must," she said, pretending to be put out.
He flung his book and pounced on her, "Never mind. I'll get you undressed myself," he grunted, before kissing her again, Eleanor squealing.
She found Ian early the next morning, curled up on the porch, the blanket she had put on his bed the night before, he used to lay on.
"Ian," Eleanor stooped down and put a tentative hand on his shoulder, "What are you doing out here?"
Ian sat up, "I couldna sleep in a bed, Auntie."
"That's fine," Eleanor slid to sit down next to him, stretching out her legs, adjusting her dress, "You are welcome to sleep wherever you wish." she said, softly. "Were you too cold last night though?"
"Nah," Ian shook his head, "It was a fine night."
"Good, then," Eleanor said, "I wouldn't want you to be cold."
He nodded. "I'm sorry, Auntie."
"Ian, I don't care," Eleanor said, "You know I don't. I don't care about propriety."
"No, not for sleeping out here, but...for being..." he paused, "quiet."
Eleanor put a hand on his arm, "Ian, you know I can be the same way. I will never judge you for being quiet. I am just worried that your heart is hurting...and I love you, so it hurts my heart to think of you in pain...whatever the cause of that pain might be."
"I knew I needed to come to you before going to the Ridge. I knew you would understand."
She nodded, "How about we just sit here for a bit? In the quiet, before the little ones make it not so quiet."
"Aye, I'd like that," Ian said.
They sat together in quiet as the minutes clicked by, and Ian suddenly rested his head on Eleanor's shoulder. She instinctively reached up to cradle his head.
"Are you scared to go home?" Eleanor asked, softly.
"Aye."
"Your uncle will be through the moon to see you. It was like part of his heart was missing, Ian."
"I'm not the same."
"It doesn't matter...not to those who love you," she reassured him.
"Are you happy, Auntie?" he asked, softly.
"Yes," she said, softly, "I am. I love Lord John."
"I dinnae think ye could...after Uncle Jamie."
"I didn't think I could either," Eleanor admitted. "But I do."
"But do ye miss Uncle Jamie?" Ian asked, "Did that part of yer heart just go away? Did it ever heal?"
Eleanor thought for a minute, "I do miss your Uncle Jamie. Very much. John didn't replace that part of my heart that Jamie held...but the hurt and despair, it has healed." She pulled away, "I have something for you. I need to go get it. Don't go anywhere."
"Aye," Ian said.
Eleanor returned a few minutes later with a leather journal. She sat back down and gave it to him, "I missed you, Ian. And I knew I couldn't write to you...but I did still want to write to you. So I did. These are letters to you that I wrote telling you about everything going on...in hopes that one day I could give this to you. And I am so very glad I could. I didn't want to miss a thing...and alot did happen while you were away."
He took it from her, "Thank you, Aunt Eleanor," he said, softly, "That means so verra much to me...that ye would do that."
"Of course," Eleanor smiled at him, "And honestly, Ian, your Uncle Jamie...he has always loved you as a father would love a son even though he knew what a good father you have. And no matter what, he will always be proud of the man you have become. Some things never change no matter how far you go away from home."
"I ken ye are right," Ian said, softly, "but I canna help to think maybe I dinnae ken where home is any longer."
She let out a breath, "I used to know of a saying...home is where your heart is."
"Then I dinnae ken if I will ever be home again," Ian said, forlorn.
"Oh, Ian," Eleanor reached to put her arm around his shoulder. "Whatever happened, there will be healing...even if it never feels like there will be. If there is one thing I learned, even in the depths of despair, there is always hope...it is why I named your cousin what I did."
"But how would ye feel if ye lost Lord John?" Ian challenged quietly.
"I cannot even fathom the possibility," Eleanor retorted, leaning her head against Ian's, "John is my world." She shuddered, "I can't even think upon that without feeling like my heart will shatter in a million pieces."
"I'm sorry, Auntie," Ian said, softly, "I should not have said that to ye."
"No," Eleanor said, "you are right. I would be completely devastated. And I would have a hard time accepting it and moving on. He anchors my soul and without him..." she shuddered again. "But I would have the children to focus on...and would have to be strong for them. But all this to say, I just want you to know that you aren't alone. Will you try to remember that and hold onto the fact that you are so loved?"
"Aye," Ian nodded. "I'll try, Auntie."
Ian spent two more days with Eleanor and his cousins before saying he must go on. On the morning, he left, Eleanor gave him a bundle of food for the road.
"One last hug," Eleanor said, wrapping her arms around Ian. "Ian, will you write to me?"
"Aye, auntie," Ian squeezed her before letting go.
"Promise me," she looked into his eyes, searching for some sort of peace and hope, but found only turmoil.
"Aye," Ian said. "I promise ye."
"And hopefully we will be back to the Ridge or Jamie back up here soon."
She had talked to John again about telling Ian about the battle and they decided to warn Ian that they weren't sure what he would find at the Ridge. Ian took in stride and was the one to reassure Eleanor that his Uncle Jamie would be fine. But Eleanor was still worried about Jamie's fate and most especially about Ian. He was clearly in so much pain.
"Aye," Ian nodded, "And I will tell Uncle Jamie to write ye as well."
Eleanor gave him one last hug before sending him on his way. John stepped out onto the porch a few minutes later and reached for her hand, kissing it.
"How do you fare, Lady John?" he asked, gently.
"I'm weary, John," she said, softly. "So very weary."
He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She leaned her head against him and they stood together there in silence until the children came out, searching for them, having awaken from their slumber. And the demands of the day, allowed for a distraction once again from the weariness of her heart.
Eleanor stopped in her tracks. She had been taking a walk, a break from the demands of the children and a minute to catch her breath before she got too weighed down in the squabbles of the children- which were great at the moment.
"Governor Tryon," she blurted out, "What on earth are you doing here?"
He dismounted from his horse, bowing to her deeply, "Lady John."
She blushed, "Forgive my manners. Your excellency, you surprised me." she curtseyed. She mentally kicked herself...John would have been horrified, but thankfully he was in the house.
"Indeed," he gave her a small smile, "I surmised that."
"I wasn't trying to be rude."
"I never doubt your manners, Lady John," Tryon tried to reassure her. "I'm sorry if I shocked you. I am headed to New York, but I have business with Lord John."
"We haven't heard from Colonel Fraser," Eleanor tried to quell her beating heart, "And I've been concerned."
"I'm sure you will receive news at any time," Tryon reached out to touch her arm, gently. "but rest easy, Eleanor. Colonel Fraser came through the battle well. Our victory was astounding. He served the crown well."
"That is good news," Tears filled Eleanor's eyes, "I'm glad he is safe."
"Of course, but I fear that I have sad tidings to bring, about Mr. Fraser's son in law."
"Roger Mac?" Eleanor bit her lip, "He isn't dead, is he?"
"No, he will survive, but he is altered. I was hoping for Lord John's assistance as well as a respite from my journey North."
"Of course," Eleanor's heart sank, "I will prepare a room for your stay."
"I am indebted to you, Eleanor."
She nodded and she waked back with him towards the house, her heart aching to know about the fate of Brianna's husband.
"Sassanach," Jamie sat down at the table with her, "I need to go to Mt. Josiah to let Mac ken aboot Murtagh. I've been delaying it long enough."
"Didn't you send Eleanor a letter?"
"A quick one saying I was fine and would write later," Jamie said, "but I canna tell her and Mac aboot Murtagh through a letter."
"You did once before," Claire retorted, trying to quell her annoyance that Jamie was leaving with things were so unsettled with their own family.
"She was in Jamaica at the time," Jamie said, "And I regretted having to do so through a letter. No," he shook his head adamantly, "I must deliver this news in person."
Claire frowned deeply, "But Roger is still healing. Bree needs you, Jamie."
"Aye, I ken," Jamie looked sorrowful at the thought of their struggles, "but I canna impose on Eleanor and John to deliver such news."
"She is his mother, surely, she can handle it," Claire retorted. "Write her a letter."
"And I am his father," Jamie countered. "And I have a duty to the lad."
"You are Bree's father too, you have a duty to her too, but doesn't that matter?" Claire said, her temper sparking. "We need you here."
"Roger is out of danger at the present and I have stayed as long as I can," Jamie said, "Bree is grown. Mac is still so wee. News like this...we canna expect him to take it as an adult would. Brianna said I should go. She understands and if she can, then surely ye can too."
"I don't understand, Jamie," Claire retorted. "You cannot leave now. Not when things are so unsettled at the Ridge. We are your family and we need you here."
Jamie paused, startled by her words. He took a deep breath before responding, "I may not have a marriage with Eleanor, but I canna pretend that I no have a family with the lass. I have four bairns that are both hers and mine...and they are so verra wee. She and John are already carrying the load with the wee uns. I canna put another burden on them. Mac will be devastated and I need to be there to soothe the blow."
"Surely it can wait a few more days," Claire said, "Just...until things are more settled between Bree and Roger. You can tell them in person when you see them next."
Jamie let out a long breath, "Verra weel. We will talk again in a few days. I willna wait months to share this news."
"Of course not," Claire smiled and leaned to kiss him, "Thank you, Jamie."
He nodded, but he still looked perturbed. But he knew that he had asked alot of Claire with accepting Eleanor and their children and he couldn't fault her for wanting him present for their family. Still...he knew that Eleanor and Mac deserved better than a letter if it could at all be helped.
She kissed him again, "Let's go to bed."
"Aye, I will be there in a few minutes."
Claire looked at him for a moment, "I am sorry, Jamie. I don't want you to feel torn between our family and Eleanor's, but I didn't get to have you when Bree grew up and she turned out well."
"You had Frank," Jamie's face darkened.
"Yes, and Ellie has John," Claire countered, "and to be honest, Ellie's marriage with John is alot healthier than mine was with Frank. They can handle what comes."
"Aye," Jamie said, slowly, "but that dinnae mean that I should shirk my obligation towards them...and not be there for them when it matters most."
Claire raised an eyebrow, "The kids or Eleanor?"
Jamie shook his head, wearily, "I dinnae ken how to answer that without ye gettin yer feathers ruffled. I promised Eleanor I would raise our wee uns together and obviously, I cannot be held entirely fast to that vow, but what I can fulfill, I will." He paused, "I said I would stay a few more days, what else do ye want?"
"Nothing, I guess," Claire shrugged, "I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"
"Aye, in a moment," Jamie nodded and Claire shook her head, wearily, heading to bed.
Jamie buried his head in his hands. He missed his godfather and he knew seeing his children would do him well, to let their laughter and the warmth of their innocent hearts warm his own...
Because he could not deny, his own heart was breaking at the moment.
A/N: thoughts?