Drabble 48: A New Kind of Fear
A/N: Hey guys! This drabble popped into my head after watching this week's episode. All of the drabble prompt's I've been given recently (weasleywarrior's, the one with Fitz's daughter's birthday, AOSISMYLIFE's, and the board game kiss), I promise they are in the works. Enjoy this one, and leave me a review!
"What did you give Coulson?" he asked.
"Nothing." She said instantly, not meeting his eyes.
"It didn't seem like nothing." He pressed.
"Something to fix Skye." She said.
"I'm fixing Skye!" she said, her words charged with emotion.
"Skye changed, I changed, but you've changed too, Jemma." Fitz said. "You're the one who needs fixing. You never used to be this scared."
Their conversation played itself over and over in her head as she lay in bed that night. Fitz had said Skye could be like an Avenger. It was logical that if Skye were an Avenger, she would be most like the Hulk at the moment. Fitz seemed to think that was cool. Jemma thought it was terrifying. She was glimpsing the Hulk up close, before he learned even the amount of control he had now. And it was in the form of one of her best friends. It scared her.
She and Fitz had been getting on fine just before Puerto Rico, a bridge to their friendship had been almost completely fortified… and then this had happened.
Fitz had lied to her about Skye's abilities. He had hidden results from her and lied to her face. She understood why he had done it; she probably would have helped Skye the same way if she had been the one to discover it. But she liked to think that she would have included Fitz in the secret, even if deep down she knew she wouldn't.
Since there was no horrible damage though, she couldn't blame him forever.
She didn't know what to think anymore. Skye, her best friend, had alien powers she couldn't control. Agent Triplett was dead.
Fitz was right to say she had changed. She had changed in Puerto Rico, after Skye had changed and Trip had died. And she didn't know if she could change back.
She didn't sleep well that night. She tossed and turned, and when she woke up in the morning she was completely tangled in her sheets, her forehead damp with sweat.
She got dressed and walked to the lab, seeking comfort from her old routine: wake up, dress, do some lab work, then eat breakfast. Then work with Fitz back in the lab and do whatever else had to be done.
She didn't expect Fitz to be in the lab when she got there. When she saw him she said an almost inaudible "hi", and he muttered one in return.
They worked in separate stations for some time, rarely speaking, until at last she couldn't take it anymore.
"I don't deal well with change, Fitz!" she cried.
He jumped at her sudden outburst and looked at her.
"Maybe I am scared now, but do you know why?" she didn't stop to let him answer. "The world is changing all around me! You changed, and I learned to adapt, to help you. Now Skye's changed, and I can't fix it! All the superhero things we always said were cool and amazing, all of it terrifies me now, and do you know why? Because now I actually know what it's like!"
He just looked at her.
"It used to be distant from us, Fitz." She pleaded. "Now it's completely personal. I don't know how to handle it."
He must have heard the desperation in her voice, because his stare softened in intensity. His voice was firm, though. "Skye doesn't need to be fixed, Jemma. She just needs to learn how to balance everything; control her powers."
"But I can't help her." She said, her voice almost broken.
Fitz looked at her for another second, and then, without smiling, walked up to her and held her close to him, tight in his arms. "It'll be okay."
She stayed in his embrace and realized something; Fitz was comforting her, but he was still upset with her. And as she realized this, she knew it was time for them to get along again. So she stayed in his embrace a moment longer and then separated from him, looking into his blue eyes.
"I can't promise I won't be scared," she said, taking a deep breath, "but I can try to stay brave."
A hint of a smile appeared on his face, his eyes lighting up with hope. "Really?"
She nodded. "I'll need time."
"I get it." He said. "Just don't take too long."
She nodded again. "I'll also need you. To help me stay brave."
He looked shocked for a moment, and then a determined look came into his eyes and he nodded, completely serious. "I'll be here whenever you need me."
She gave him a faint smile. Talking about it seemed to have made her relax a bit. She knew she really did need some time to fully recover from Puerto Rico; she had been thoroughly shaken.
Then she thought about Skye. Her expression must've changed, because Fitz looked at her differently. "Skye." She said.
"Just realized what she might be going through, eh?" he asked, his voice a bit cool.
She felt shame flood her for thinking of Skye as a problem and not a friend. She had been searching for a solution, a cure, when she should have been offering comfort.
They both spoke at the same time.
"I need to talk to Skye." She said.
"It's not too late." He said.
They smiled at each other lightly.
"I'm still going to try to help Skye get back to normal." Jemma said. "Not like she was before," she said quickly, "just enough to have her powers under control, or whatever she needs."
"I'm glad you're back." Fitz said quietly. His voice rang with sincerity, and Jemma's shame faded away, as well as a bit of her fear. If Fitz stood behind her, why should she be so afraid?
He would help her control her fear, and hopefully, eventually, master it.
It was a new kind of fear, but why should it be different from any other? They could beat it together.