Chapter 7
Paul forced himself out of the bed and went to the shower. He quickly washed himself and went to get something to eat. He had to go see Sam and tell him what had happened. He leaned against the counter with his hands and closed his eyes. He saw Bella's big, beautiful eyes turning from shining to dim and then filling with tears. She had taken it all better than he had expected, and he couldn't not smile remembering how she had reacted to his wolf. She was something else. He knew she would need few days to mull things over on her own, but she would come back to him, and they could get back to their lives together but in a better place: he didn't have to lie to her anymore. That was a big fucking relief!
But fuck he couldn't get over the fact that she knew one of the bloodsuckers. Why the fuck did those dead corpses mingle with humans anyway. The thought about any of those leeches being around Bella, touching her made him nauseous. Shit he couldn't eat anything right now. He left the kitchen, tied his cut offs to his ankle and ran to the forest. He phased and ran to Sam's house.
Things hadn't quite gotten back to normal between them after their row. Paul had apologized to Emily, and she had accepted it. When Sam saw that Emily didn't hold anything against Paul, he was more willing to let it go.
Sam was digging a hole to the ground when Paul got to their place.
"Sam, I must tell you something and I think it is easier if I just showed you." He would understand better if he saw his wolf's mind when he had smelled bloodsucker on Bella.
Sam grunted and shoveled the spade to the dirt.
"What about?"
"You'll see. Come on."
Both men jogged to the forest stripped and phased. They started to run and at the same time Paul showed everything to the point he and Bella went to the shower. He would show the urge to bite last.
What the hell Paul?!
She is the human, one of the Cullen freaks thinks, is his friend. They play music together and she saw him yesterday and I smelled him on her when she came to res. My wolf just snapped, and I couldn't control the phasing.
Damn. Why was she laughing?
She's just that cool Sam. She didn't freak out and she loved the wolf.
Damn. You lucky bastard.
Paul could not help but to feel smug. Yeah, his woman was something else.
Sam just huffed.
There is one other thing. I'll show you, it is very private shit, but I have to know has it ever happened to you or do you know what that is all about.
Paul showed him his wolf mind when he was fucking Bella.
What the fuck was that?
I was hoping you could tell me that.
That was totally weird shit. Let's phase back and have something to eat while we talk.
"Did you really want to bite her?" Sam asked him when they were back to human form.
"Hell no, I could never want to hurt her, but my wolf did, and it freaked the fuck out of me."
"I've never heard anything like this before. The elders haven't talked anything about wolf's urge to bite and not me or Jared haven't felt like that neither has Quil. No one would be able to keep something like that to themselves. I would know. Jake and Embry are still dreaming about fucking girls."
"Well damn. I was hoping you could tell me what the fuck it was all about."
They entered the house and Emily came straight to Sam, giving him a kiss. "There's food on the table. Rest of the boys have eaten already, I put your food aside so you would have something to eat."
"Thanks Em," Paul said and followed Sam.
"Could you ask from the elders about the compulsion to bite? They won't tell me shit. Old Quil throws me out of his house and rest of them tell me I have to talk to Old Quil. Fucking stuck-up prigs."
"Paul. Show some respect will you. You don't have to like the way things are and how they are managed around here but you are servant to the tribe, and you don't talk about your elders that way," Sam said with tired expression.
Paul just huffed and tugged in. He was starving, hell when he wasn't nowadays.
"I'll talk to Old Quil. I have to tell the elders anyway that an outsider is now in the known. They will flip their tops for sure."
"Well boohoo. There was nothing I could do about it, and the way I see it, it is easier that Bella knows. She's my mate and nothing," he pointed Sam with his fork, "will change that, and she deserves to know."
Sam sighed.
"They won't see it that way. And I must warn you, the pack and most likely the elders too will blame Bella being a friend with a Cullen and the reason why the family is back here."
"Well fuck that, it's not her fault! She didn't ask them to come here. She doesn't want them here," Paul shouted and started to shake.
"I'm outta here. I'll have patrol at six this evening," He spat, ran out of the house and phased hearing Sam shouting him to come back but not caring shit what he had to say he ran to the wilderness.
Bella was lying on her bed. Her head hurt from all the crying. She'd been crying for three days now, and she had probably run out of tears. She stared out of the window and watched the trees that were bending in the strong wind. It had been raining non-stop for last three days, how apt.
Every time she thought about what Paul had told her about imprinting, she started to cry. She couldn't help it. To think that she might lose him to a total stranger in a blink of an eye was heartbreaking. To think that they had to be constantly afraid him meeting his imprint made her sick to her stomach. How would they be able to live under that kind of pressure, constantly afraid if today would be the day. They really didn't know how powerful this force was they were trying to fight against.
Paul had texted her once on the day she'd left. He knew that it was better to leave her be, but he had wanted her to know that he understood how she felt and that he was sorry not telling her about the imprinting. But nothing had changed: she was the love of his life, and he would fight till his last breath for her for them.
She had replied shortly that she knew and that she loved him so much.
But did they have any hope? Sam and Leah had been so great together, she remembered the one time when Leah had confessed her how Sam had changed the way she felt about love, getting married and raising a family. Things she though she never wanted in her life she wanted them all with Sam, and that had been huge coming from Leah, she was very private person. Bella had seen the love Sam had for Leah. But it hadn't been enough. Sam didn't love Leah anymore but loved her cousin instead, his imprint. It felt so wrong.
She knew Paul meant every word he had said to her and believed it would be different for them, but in the end, it might not be enough. There was a reason why the wolf imprinted. Was it right not to accept it? Would it be dangerous for a wolf not to accept it. Would Paul put himself in a harm's way if he tried to fight the imprint? And what if he just couldn't fight it but had to accept it?
Was there any way to find out more about imprinting? It seemed they knew so little about it. She felt her anger rising when she thought about Old Quil who had thrown Paul out without answering his questions. How dared he belittle wolf's need to know more about something so huge. About something that could change his life forever in a flash.
Of one thing she was sure: she would never leave Paul. She just couldn't. She was willing to take the risk loving him and losing him because he was worth the risk. You never knew about life, there was no such thing as certainty in life, well in normal life anyway, the kind of that didn't have shapeshifters and vampires in it. In normal life relationships ended and heartbreak was part of it. So yeah, she was most likely set up for terrible heartbreak but being with Paul was so worth it.
What a mess this all was. There were so many things she didn't understand, wasn't able to put her head around: all that supernatural was real. Vampires were real, men turning into huge wolves were real. It was insane. And yet, she felt that in some level she'd always known they were real. The way she'd always been fascinated by the legends, how she made up more stories and made music to go with them when she was younger. How her brother feels about the stories, and he is very sensitive kid. He had known. She hoped she could tell Benjamin that she knew now that he had seen that big black wolf, he'd seen Sam Uley, the alpha of La Push wolf pack. That the supernatural world existed. But it wasn't her secret to tell.
She looked at her violin. It was laying on the desk by the window. She needed to play the song. She had a feeling she should add to it. As she got up from the bed, a melody started to form in her mind.
She tuned up her instrument and started to play. She first played the piece she'd made when she was 14, and then new notes just started to flow, and her heart started to beat faster. She looked for her phone. She needed to record this in case she didn't remember it later. She found the phone and opened the recording app.
And she played. She closed her eyes and saw Paul as a wolf as she'd seen him on the ground looking at her. Those huge wolf's eyes that were animal's eyes, but Paul was there, she'd seen Paul in his eyes. She pictured him running, all that silver grey all muscles and power. She tried to see others too. Paul had told her that there were six of them, Jared's wolf was brown, Jacob's rusty brown, Embry's pale grey and Quil's chocolate brown. They must be magnificent looking together, as a pack, like Paul had called them.
She played and played. She enjoyed the feeling of her instrument; it was like being in touch with the life pulse of her violin as the vibration simultaneously travelled through it to her chin and her fingers seemingly through her own heart. She poured her heart to the melody.
Finally, she put her violin down on the table. She felt dizzy, she hadn't eaten properly for few days now, three to be exact. She stopped the recording. She had played over two hours, she often lost track of time when she played.
She went to kitchen to look for something to eat. She missed Paul's food almost as much as she missed him.
She opened the fridge, and all the ingredients were something Paul had bought, and she didn't know what to do with them. She took a cookie and sat by the breakfast table. She didn't have any energy to go grocery shopping, maybe she should order something to eat.
She nibbled the cookie and though about Edward. What should she do with him? He had called her few times in last three days, but she hadn't answered and hadn't listened the messages he'd left her. He had texted her asking why she's not picking up and if everything was okay with her. She didn't want to speak to him now. Not before she knew what to say to him.
Should she have realized that there was something odd about him? He was unnaturally beautiful his eyes were once black when they normally were golden brown. What did that mean? His skin was very pale, cold and hard. Like marble. Yes, she should have noticed but how an earth she could have ever thought about him being anything else than a human. He was such a brilliant pianist and she really enjoyed playing with him. It was really all she'd ever thought about when she was with him. But it was pretty obvious now that she should have noticed he wasn't normal. His whole family was the same, looking like plastic supermodels, not natural at all. They all have seemed very nice though. She had met them all once when they all had come to hear the concert, she had played at.
Did it matter that he was a vampire? Was she afraid of him? It didn't matter that Paul was a shapeshifter, if you forgot about that imprinting bit. Paul couldn't help what he was and neither did Edward.
Bella's head started to hurt again. Too many open questions she didn't know how to answer.
Her phone buzzed. It was an email from the Luis Matterson, personnel manager of the Seattle Symphony Orchestra telling, that she needed to be in Seattle one week earlier than was first planned. It had something to do with some changes in the first concert program.
"Oh shit," she muttered. And here she had been wasting three days she and Paul could have been together. Their time would be very limited once the concert season started. She had hoped that Paul could've moved with her to Seattle, found a job as a chef while she'd been doing her music, but it was clear now that Paul couldn't move.
That was another thing she felt sad about: was Paul forced to forget his dreams, his aspiration to become world famous chef? There was nothing in La Push or Forks or even In Port Angeles that would take him where he wanted to. Was he tied to the reservation for the rest of his life? What about her? She wanted to be with Paul, but she had her own life that couldn't be tied down here.
But she had wasted enough time, she needed to see Paul. She called him.
"Baby!" Paul picked up from the first ring.
"Hey Paul," she said quietly.
"Hey. How are you?" Paul asked.
"I'm ok. Tired, haven't slept much. How are you?"
"I feel like shit. I haven't slept either and I've been so fucked up ever since you left."
"Oh Paul, I'm so sorry I put you through that. I've been a selfish bitch. Would you be able to come here? I think we need to have a proper talk."
"I'm on my way now. I have to leave early in the morning though."
"Would it be better if I came over?"
"No, I need to get out of this shit hole for a while. It's been crazy around here."
"Crazy how?"
"Two more wolfs phased on Tuesday and there had been one nomad coming close to the res but managing to get away. We're all on the edge here."
"That's terrible! Are you sure, you really can leave?" Bella was scared to death to think about Paul fighting against vampires. And all the others, Jacob, Embry and Quil were only 16. They were only kids for crying out loud!
"Yes."
"Okay, I'll see you soon then. Drive safely. I love you."
"Love you more."
Sam wasn't happy that Paul left the reservation, but he had been running patrols almost non-stop for three days now and deserved a little break. He hadn't been able to stay still and had been lucky enough to get to kill one of the bloodsuckers trying to get too close. It had satisfied him for a few hours before he'd grown restless again and had headed back to the forest. The one that kept escaping was driving him nuts. Slippery fucker.
He was exhausted but he needed to see Bella.
He needed to know how she felt about them. Was she able to put the imprinting shit behind them?
He needed to know what she felt about that fucking Cullen being a vampire. He had to know more, no - everything - that had gone between them. He hated that she was friend with them. Did she know other members of the leech family too?
Was he able to convince Bella not to see that fucker never again? If it was anything else he wouldn't even try, telling Bella to do something didn't sit well with her and he didn't want to force anything on her, but this shit was too important. He couldn't protect her, and it drove him mad to think her with the leech even if the only thing they did together was to play music.
He knocked the door and Bella opened it. They stared each other for few heart beats and then both moved at the same time mouths crashing against each other. Almost violent want rushed through Paul, and he needed her more than he needed the air to breath.
Paul moved them inside and pinned Bella against the closed door.
"I need you baby," he said sucking and kissing her neck.
"I need you too. So much. I need you inside me right now."
Paul pulled off her sleeping shorts and they both fumbled his jean's buttons fuck they didn't open fast enough he almost ripped them off.
He plunged one finger inside her making sure she was ready for him.
She was and he slammed inside her. They both moaned loudly.
"Fuck how I've missed you! Missed us!"
He panted and moved his hips fast driving deeper into her. He grabbed Bella's arms from his shoulders and pinned them above her head other hand grabbing her ass pressing her harder against him. He widened his stance and Bella sank deeper. He ate her face and kept thrusting. Fuck it was heaven.
Bella wrenched her mouth off his gulping for air, he attacked her neck sucking.
"Jesus Paul!" Bella threw her head against the door and closed her eyes.
"Look at me Bella!" he ordered.
Bella opened her eyes and they stared each other.
"You are mine!"
He rammed into her grounding his hips with fierce pace. He'd missed her like crazy. He needed her to stay sane. He needed her to feel human.
"Yes... Paul … ah …."
"I'm yours!"
"Yesss …. Paul"
"There … will... ever be... just us! MINE!"
"Yessss!" Bella screamed as her tight pussy started to milk him and he exploded inside her roaring her name.
"Bellaa!" His hips kept jerking and he felt again his wolf's need to bite.
Mine! Bite!
He had to close his eyes and bite his bottom lip to keep his wolf off Bella's neck. He tasted the iron of his own blood.
After he came down from his high, he felt the compulsion to bite vanish, and he opened his eyes seeing Bella looking at him.
"Are you okay baby? You bit yourself," she asked and wiped the corner of his mouth with her finger.
"Yeah.." he said trying to catch his breath, "but I felt … the wolf's need to bite you again, it was … stronger than last time."
"Oh. Have you found anything about what it might mean?"
"No. Sam knows shit ... and the elders won't tell me anything."
He pressed his forehead against hers.
"I missed you like crazy," he said.
"I missed you too," she said kissing him lightly on the lips.
Paul slid out of Bella and helped her to steady her feet. He tucked himself into his jeans and lifted Bella on his arms.
"Let me take you to the shower and then I'll make us dinner and we'll talk."
All the tension Paul had felt past three days was gone, and he was able to breath normally again. He knew that they weren't out of the woods yet, the ghost of the fucking imprinting would be hanging over them. He almost hoped that he would imprint so he could break it and get over with it.
Showering took longer than he had originally thought. He was hungry but he was starving for Bella, and they'd made love in the shower consuming each other and all the hot water.
When out of shower he went to the kitchen. He was going to make them spaghetti aglio e olio with kale and parmesan cheese with side meatballs for him. It was one of Bella's favorite dishes and she had ingredients ready for that. He took one big garlic bread and meat balls from the freezer and put them in the oven.
Bella came to stand behind him and wrapped her arms around him while he was grating the cheese.
She pressed her head against his back. Paul sighed. This was all he wanted from life: to love Bella, take care of her. Feel her pressed against him while he cooked.
"I'm so sorry Paul that I ran from you."
"Don't worry baby. I understand that you needed some space to think. It was pretty heavy stuff that I laid on you all at once."
"Hmm, I guess. But still. It was unfair to you."
"Let's not dwell on that. You were upset I was upset, but we are here now. That is all that matters."
Bella kissed him between his shoulder blades.
"Hmm … I love it, when you make food without your shirt."
"I love it when you touch me when I make food," Paul said his body shivering under her touch.
"Hmm..."
She skimmed her hands on his back and slid them slowly to the front. His dick twisted when her hands came close to his naval area.
"I composed some music today," she told him and kissed his back again. "I think I've told you that when I was about 14, I was so obsessed with your legends that I wanted to make music to go with the stories. Today I felt like adding to the tune and it became a full piece."
"That sound so cool. Would you want to play it for me?" He actually did remember Bella telling once something about making a song about the tribal legends. They had been drinking tea with Patric, he always made them tea, and Patric had wanted to hear some of the legends and as they were telling them to him, Bella mentioned about the music.
"Maybe. I Don't know yet, if I'm ready anybody to hear it just yet, but you will be the first. I promise. I still need to write it down. But I have a feeling that it might become something more than just a little melody."
"I'm so happy for you baby," he turned around and kissed Bella.
"Can you set the table, baby. Food is almost ready," he said and went to the oven to get the bread and the meatballs out.
"Sure. God that smells like heaven Paul."
They sat down for dinner.
"Dear lord I'm starving," Bella said.
Paul chuckled and fixed her a plate with the spaghetti and sprinkled the cheese over the noodles.
"This is so gooooood," Bella moaned when she put first forkful into her mouth.
Paul shoveled food his mouth and he had to agree, the pasta was excellent, and the meatballs were just perfect.
They ate pretty much without saying a word they were both famished.
"Your wolfy appetite is quite impressive," Bella laughed after he'd finished all 20 meatballs and three plates of pasta.
"Yeah, I guess morphing into a huge animal takes some energy." It was crazy really how much he could eat, and he never felt he had eaten too much no matter how much he ate.
Bella rose to clean the table. Paul helped her and it didn't take them long to get dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
"Okay baby, let's talk."
They went to sit down on the couch. They sat exactly the same way they had all those weeks ago before their first kiss.
"Let me start Paul," Bella said taking his hand, "I messed up, when I left you when you told me about the imprinting. I promise I never leave you again. Even if you imprint, I will be there for you as long as you want me."
"Baby..."
"No let me finish. I will always love you and if you imprint and you realize she is the one for you, I'll step aside but I will always stay as your friend. You are too important to me, and I don't want ever to lose you. I'm willing to take whatever you are able to give me."
"Bella. Stop please. I know that I've said this many, many times and I say it again: I won't ever want anybody else than you. I won't let imprinting ruin what we have together. I rather die than live my life without you as my best friend, as my lover, as my wife, I want to marry you someday, sooner the better. When I'm with you I feel my life has a meaning. To be loved by you, to be wanted by you is the most amazing thing in my life and I will love you and want only you till the day I die. Baby, you're It for me."
Tears were falling on Bella's cheeks and his own eyes were full of unshed tears too.
"Oh Paul," Bella whispered and hugged him. They stayed like that for a long time. Hugging tight, not wanting to let go.
"We won't have it easy. There will be times that we don't have hardly any time to be together. I'm leaving next week to Seattle and will stay for three weeks. And will be back here only for a week before I have to leave again, and you have to stay here, you cannot come with me," Bella said.
"Even if I got one day a month with you, I'm happy," Paul said.
"We might never have children."
"We can adopt, if we want to. World is full of children needing loving parents," Paul told her. He had never thought about having kids, of course he would want to have everything with Bella, but if their own kids weren't a possibility so be it.
"We'll have to be afraid of you imprinting whenever you meet new people or even pass one on the street or accidentally run into. That will be the most stressful thing for us. You have to promise to tell me right away if that happens. I need to know. Don't be afraid hurting me, tell me right away, okay," Bella said with thick voice. "You have to promise me that. It is all I ask from you."
Paul felt this throat thickening and he pulled Bella into a tight hug.
"I promise."
AN:
Thank you all for your comments! They are all important for me and for this story.
You who are missing my other story: I'm sorry that you have to wait for the next update. But I will continue it, I love my all-human Bella and Paul too much, not to.