Drabble 81: The Man I Love

A/N: Long time no see! I know it's been way too long. The episode this week made me really want to write a response, and this is the result. I figured I should post it as a drabble, since it focuses on Fitz-Simmons (though 99.9% of my writing for this fandom does, so...). Spoilers for 4x17 if you haven't seen it yet. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

"How do you know you're not the one waking up to reality?"

The answer came without a fraction of a pause, charged. "Because the man I love would never execute someone in cold blood."

The scene kept playing in Jemma's head as she sat in the room that, in the real world, was her and Fitz's lab. All the people were away, eating in a kitchen area, so she was alone to think. She kept seeing Fitz from behind those bushes, as he held a gun to Agnes's chest and looked at Radcliffe. She heard herself tell Ward that he couldn't take the shot, because it was Fitz, for goodness sake, wonderful, awkward, heroic Leopold James Fitz. The love of her life. She knew him better than anyone, and she was confident that he wouldn't kill anyone.

And then he fired.

She remembered how those few seconds after the bullet left the chamber had felt like an eternity as she'd looked at him. She'd stood and made to move towards him, exposing herself and crying his name, then screaming as it registered that he'd actually killed Agnes, screaming that her Fitz had done the unthinkable, the impossible, her throat raw from the wrongness of it.

He just stared back at her, light shock on his face. No remorse. No anything, really, except shock as his eyes glued to her face, for a few short seconds. Until the bullets started flying, and they ran in opposite directions.

That was the face she kept seeing now, her head in her hands. That shock at seeing her, hearing her. It had to mean something. It had to mean that he was still Fitz.

She had to move beyond her shock. She knew Mace was furious with her, and thought Coulson was the only reason she was being left alone this long. She had to get control of herself, and move out of this fragile state. There wasn't time for it. Fitz had killed, but that hadn't been her Fitz. No, her Fitz had only appeared for a second, in that look.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and lifted her head up, expecting to see Coulson. She was shocked to find it was Ward.

"You've got some explaining to do." He said, sitting down next to her. "I know you said you love the guy, but you saw what he did. He didn't even react to killing that woman."

"But he reacted to me." Jemma said. She straightened her shoulders.

"You said none of this is real." Ward said in a light tone. "Was that the shock talking?" he met her gaze and sighed. "Didn't think so. You're sure you're right, though? Maybe it's you that's confused."

"I'm not crazy." She said tiredly. "I know it's this world that's backward, not me."

"How?"

"Because the man I love would never do what Fitz just did." She met his eyes again. "Fitz isn't a killer. He isn't capable of murdering someone like that."

"You wanna tell that to the woman he shot through the heart?"

"It wasn't him!" she cried, standing up. "His mind's been tampered with, I've told you!"

"Why?" Ward asked, also standing. "Why would he have been brainwashed?"

"To make him think this world is real." She said. "All of this is coding, information on a computer. None of the places or people are real! But he thinks it is." She said, "and so do the rest of my team. Daisy and I came in here to find them and get them back."

Ward looked at her. "You want me to believe that I'm not alive."

Jemma bit the inside of her lip as she looked at him, gaining control of herself. "Yes." She said, realizing this had taken a very serious turn. "Essentially."

He brought his hand up and placed it on the back of his head. "I don't know how that's possible." He finally said.

"It doesn't matter." She said, trying to be gentle. "This world is real for you. You're a part of it. You just need to understand that me, Fitz, Daisy – Skye… we don't belong here. All I want to do is get home."

He was quiet for a few more seconds, and then he nodded. "Fine."

She couldn't keep the surprise from her expression at this. He actually believed her. Ward. "You'll help me get him back?" she asked.

Ward studied her carefully. "If the opportunity comes up. No way Mace will let a team go after the Doctor just to capture him."

"Glad you have some sense left." Mace said, walking in. He looked disapprovingly at Jemma. "You'd say anything to protect that madman if you love him."

"He's not mad!"

Ward cast her a glance warning her to control herself; she supposed that outburst hadn't done much to disprove Mace's claim. "Sir, I think she's telling the truth. Skye's been different recently, like a whole new person. Which she is," he said, looking at Jemma, "right?"

"We're from the real world." Jemma agreed. "We took over the roles our counterparts here had."

Mace slid his gaze back to Ward. "You really trust this?"

"I trust Skye." He said. "She agrees with Simmons. And they were right about the teacher. He handled the gun well for never having touched one. Here, anyway."

"The Doctor is still a problem." Mace insisted. "He's dangerous."

"I can get to him." Jemma said, demanding his eyes. "He recognized me. If I can talk to him, I can fix this."

"Or he'll capture you and torture you for information about the resistance." Mace said.

"Fitz wouldn't do that." She said.

"What do you think he's doing to Skye right now?"

Jemma swallowed and looked to Ward for help, but he was staring very hard at the wall. She supposed this Ward really did care for her friend. But she shook her head. "You have to give me a chance."

Mace considered her for a few seconds, and she felt his lack of trust like a scalding touch. "One chance." He said. "And if he doesn't 'revert to his normal self', Ward takes that shot." His eyes hardened. "Am I clear?"

She nodded tersely, and Mace narrowed his eyes and walked out of the room, obviously not happy. Her gaze went back to Ward. "Thank you." She said. She was surprised by how much she meant it. "He wouldn't have believed me without you."

"Don't thank me." He said. He looked at her, and there was a cold distance in his eyes that reminded her of the Ward she had known. "I want you to have your chance, but my main concern is Skye. If he hurts her, I will end him. Because I could have killed him before, but I didn't. For you. If she gets hurt, it's on your head."

And he walked out as well.

Jemma looked at the doorway and felt slightly empty inside, as if the others had taken something of her with them when they'd left. But no, that wasn't quite accurate. She knew what had been taken from her. Stolen, tampered with, but not gone forever. She could still get him back, bring him back to being the man she had fallen desperately in love with.

And she would get him back.

She just needed to see him again.

That image played before her eyes, his face so shocked and open as he looked at her. Both standing completely exposed, the world silent for a few precious seconds as they really saw each other: as he really saw her. If she'd had just a little more time, she might've broken through then. Fitz just needed more prompting, like Coulson had. She was the only person who could do it.

She walked out the same way Ward and Mace had, her determined gaze set ahead. She was going to get him back. She had to.