praxis shadow - What did those students do to you?!
detrametal - I, honestly, have no idea what my brain is on myself. Am I a weirdo D:
Gowithebeat - With friends like that, no enemies are scary to you.
SmokyGhoul - Oh yeah, HPSC is soon going to realize that the rat's students are a whole new breed altogether.
TheGreatBubbaJ - Yep, he might have actually cracked a bit in this chapter ;v
AngelFallenDemon - After all the fics when Aizawa is the smart one and Yagi is the dumb one that's on the receiving side of verbal beatings or worse (stupid All Might Bashing tag), I've decided to write a payback fic. SUFFER AIZAWA
Foxydragon - :D
Syn1 - Yeah, I know, not a native speaker and sometimes my english falls flat when describing what I have in my heads comes around. Also - I don't think that we're getting more crack than the tank bit in this fic, so no worries :D
imaclone2 - ;)
(***)
Something was wrong. Something was deeply, deeply wrong. His instincts were screaming at him that this day is going to be a pain in the ass. But Eraserhead had no idea what was causing it.
Was it the fact that the sun was shining too bright on the day of the exam? Was it the fact that Shouta Aizawa, the cryptid extraordinaire, somehow obtained a wife and two adoptive children (plus several way too loud friends)? Or was it the fact that for some reason almost all of the 1-A students in the bus were wearing hooded dark robes with some weird, occult symbols on them?
"I hate democracy." Midoriya mumbled to himself from his seat right behind Shouta. Aiko, who was sitting on his lap, patted his head. Uraraka said nothing, but unlike her boyfriend, she was wearing a robe.
No. It was most likely the fact that Aizawa agreed with Izuku Midoriya on something. That was unnatural. And probably a herald of the end of the world as they all knew it.
Aizawa wanted to go home.
(***)
If other schools expected the UA chicklings (first years, seriously? is Nedzu looking down on them all) to go in happy and Plus Ultra yelling, they were surprised. Instead they got a group looking like cultists from some fantasy world.
Also no Plus Ultra, instead they got Praise Aiko. And any attempts to find the explanation for why two of them (Kirishima and Yoarashi) were carrying a young girl in a sedan chair (it looked like a throne, one decorated with black textiles and… wait, are those skulls?) were met with short rants about 'The Dreaded Aiko', the 'Great Young One' who has 'blessed the UA and their class' with her 'cosmic powers'.
There were also some ominous latin chants involved. Tokoyami was most likely the one who wrote them.
Aiko happily (or so Eraserhead guessed, her face was hard to read) played along. Giving the approaching students her signature intense and unsettling stares. Without saying anything at all.
Tokoyami looked like he went to Heaven. Everyone was as unsettlingly edgy as he was. And his quirk had the time of its life, really. Midoriya, in the meantime, looked like he was questioning his past life decisions and considered giving the living deity in front of him a house arrest for playing along with all of this.
Shiketsu group left, looking like they began to question the 1-A's sanity. Eraserhead related to them on a very deep level. Then the Ketsubutsu group showed up with Ms. Joke, who naturally repeated her pleas for Eraserhead to marry her so that they could build a family filled with joy and happiness.
Eraserhead promptly began questioning his own sanity for coming along with it when she asked him that question in private many months ago. Not like he had many reasons to complain, he simply failed to find the answer to the question of why he agreed to it in the first place.
Then she left, telling her students to never ever engage that particular class in combat during the exam. With very little fun and joy on her face. If anything, this managed to seriously freak out her students.
Why was she, the beacon of joy and happiness, reacting like that to those weirdos? What was wrong with them? And thus, the fame of the Dreaded Aiko grew by a small bit.
One of the Ketsubutsu girls decided to ask Todoroki for an autograph. He looked surprised by it. And then genuinely happy (and it actually showed on his face) when it turned out that no. It's not about him being Endeavor's son, nor about his school festival battle. She was a fan of his conspiracy theories.
Kaminari got to sign her an autograph as well. He looked happy and was maybe only a tiny little bit flirting with her.
(***)
"Izu." Uraraka decides to steel her resolve finally. It's time to do something very, very important! In fact, it might be a good motivation for him. And it's the high time for that. The exam is starting soon.
"Y…yes?" He seems a bit startled by it. He is often quite startled when she speaks in her super-confident mode. They still have a few minutes before they'll be all entering the stadium.
"I have something to tell you." She says. "If we'll all pass the exam, then I…"
She leans towards his ear and whispers the rest of the sentence into it. She is blushing intensely… and he looks like he almost fainted.
"GUYS!" He finally gets his acting together after close to ten seconds of going beet red in front of her. "WE'RE GOING TO CRUSH IT!"
"PRAISE AIKO!" His classmates yell in answer. For some reason, Midoriya appears to be alright with that for a moment.
Uraraka's blushing doubles in intensity after that. Seeing him this motivated is actually rather… no, it's extremely flattering, considering what she just told him.
"Uhm, Ochaco, I…" He calms down a bit, but only a bit, after that. "I know this isn't the same level of things, but… I just wanted to tell you that I finally figured out my hero name!"
Oh. That was bothering him for a long time. Most of his hero name ideas were rather… All Might-centric. Thus far, he was going with his name and surname, but… he made it obvious that it was a temporary measure. And the provisional license exam WAS going to give them… well, the provisional license.
With the hero name on it.
"I wanted to surprise you with it after the exam, but, uhm…" He looks at his feet. "I… look forward to hearing your opinion about it. Once we get our licenses."
Oh, he is way too adorable when he acts like that.
They both fail to notice that Himiko was close enough to overhear Ochaco's promise. And she promptly pulled out her phone and began to type on it furiously. She needed someone's help to do this.
She had a job to do as their friend!
(***)
Mera looked like he was about to fall asleep. Someone has put a Plus Ultra into the exam preparations. That, or the HPSC was cutting corners and didn't hire enough workers. Both options were a thing.
"There are 1540 of you here." Mera said, desperately holding on to consciousness. "The first stage of the exam is designed to whittle that number down."
That much made sense. At least to Midoriya. He figured out the reasoning - and so did Yaoyorozu and, in other test locations, Monoma and Nakahara. But Mera decided to explain it to those less up-to-date with events happening within the Hero Society.
"Thanks to events such as… Hero Killer rampages… yawn… and All Might's retirement…" Mera continues on. Honestly, it's almost admirable that he is still standing. "...the image of heroes has been weakened. We're entering the age of an uprise in villainy. We cannot allow people who cannot measure up to that become the heroes. Your failure… damn I want to sleep… would become further cracks in the Hero Industry as a whole."
Midoriya, Yaoyorozu, Monoma and Nakahara understood that logic. They simply considered it bogus. And par for the course with HPSC's belief in personal strength.
Strong heroes - good. Weak heroes - bad. Sure, it made a superficial amount of sense. But what about 'not destroying anything in their path' heroes? What about 'actually decent human beings off-work' heroes? What about 'working together and not hounding achievements for fame' heroes? What about 'maybe community service once in a while' heroes?
In Midoriya's opinion, a single clip from Endeavor's past training with Shoto would have done more damage to the heroics as a whole if posted online than any amount of unranked heroes losing fights with villains.
At least it was going to lower the potential casualty rates among the new heroes. That much was good. Everything else was questionable.
(***)
The HPSC has committed an ultimate mistake. Eraserhead understands that soon after he seats himself on the tribune, right next to Ms. Joke, the Shiketsu teacher, and the Dreaded Aiko herself. With several more teachers in the hearing range.
It was a mistake so grotesque that Eraserhead almost cried at what was going to happen now.
Only one hundred people will pass. Three points, one ball, who scores the third hit gets a 'kill'. The more kills you score before you are 'killed' (or the exam time ends), the higher chance of passing. As the one hundred students with the most 'kills' will get into the second phase of the exam.
Oh nonononononononononononononono.
"Uhm, Eraserhead?" The Shiketsu teacher asks. Eraserhead keeps forgetting his name. He is, honestly, a rather boring looking guy. The most interesting thing about him is that Emi once told Aizawa that he looks like time traveling Adolf Hitler who shaved his moustache off to travel incognito. Eraserhead compared their pictures and… well, he can no longer unsee it. "Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"
"This is going to be a massacre." He says faintly, slumping in his seat. "If they did it so that you pass by scoring a set number of kills and only the first one hundred passes, it would be alright. But now?" Eraserhead shudders. "My class is going to go on a rampage."
"You are already dead." Aiko states flatly, stopping her date with a strawberry ice cream that Eraserhead bought her for a second in order to give the teacher a death stare.
"What?" The Shiketsu teacher looks unconvinced. The other students in the hearing range seem to look like Eraserhead was for some reason looking down on them. Oh, if only they knew.
(***)
"FUCK. YES!" Katsuki yells as the walls undo themselves. They have ten minutes to move to a position. Mera doesn't want people so close to each other to suddenly start firing up their quirks at each other. "It's murder time! DIEEEE!" Some of the nearby examinees look vaguely concerned by it.
"Bakugou." Midoriya decides to… okay, this isn't the time for half-measures. For once, he can try to pump his childhood friend up a bit. Like Ochaco did to him. "If you score more kills than me, I'll provisionally promote you to the rank of a Kacchan. What do you say?"
At least they are wearing their hero uniforms now. Stupid robes. Stupid idea. Aaaaaargh.
The question takes the explodo-man off-guard.
"Why the fuck would I want you to use that stupid nickname again?" Izuku and Bakugou ignore some perking heads from their classmates. Kacchan? That sounds like some blackmail material.
"Because it would be a symbol of your victory over me, Bakugou!" Midoriya announces. He can see the gears turning on Katsuki's face for a few seconds before his right fist and left palm meet. There is a small explosion to that.
"FUCK YEAH!" He yells. "LET'S DO IT!"
Oh, he is so simple.
And now it's time to start the plan's preparation. They have five minutes. It should be enough.
(***)
The examinees spread throughout the exam area. When the time comes and the siren announces the start of the exam, they are greeted by Midoriya and Yaoyorozu's Plan A. It is a several stage plan that had to be done in a hurry.
Thankfully, the preparations were allowed during the first five minutes. They were merely forbidden from engaging (or getting close to, in fact) people from other schools.
Stage one: Midoriya detonates his Smokescreen quirk to the max.
Stage two: Yoarashi redirects the resulting cloud above them, to create a ball of smoke floating menacingly in the air above the stadium.
Stage three: Yaoyorozu deploys several specialized drones and a microphone. The former are used for sound propagation and to display a truly ancient video recording by using the smokescreen as a background. The latter is given to one of their classmates who really would prefer not to have to do this.
Oh, well.
The second the bell rings, the plan starts for real. Against himself, Hitoshi Shinsou starts singing.
(***)
"Oh, my, God." Yoichi looks like he is on the verge of a heart attack. He is staring in absolute shock and joy at the 'camera feed' coming from Midoriya's eyes. "He did it. That absolute madlad actually did it."
"Did what?" Lariat looks confused. They all are, but he is the only one to vocalize this. "I mean, I get this plan, and I think that it's devious, brilliant and maybe a bit terrifying. Just… Why are you reacting like that to this song?"
"It is quite catchy." En points, mostly emotionlessly, from his seat.
"Two centuries." They can see tears welling in Yoichi's eyes. "I was waiting two centuries for this. My life is now officially complete."
"...never gonna give you up…" Hitoshi continues singing. He is quite good at that, all things considered. "...never gonna let you down…"
(***)
It was so out of place, that it actually gave most of the examinees a pause. Many seemed to be examining themselves for any signs of active quirks. Others appear mundanely surprised. Few are angry.
Mera looked like he suspected that he fell asleep and failed to notice that. Emi Fukukado and Shouta Aizawa in the meantime stare at the smoke cloud in shock.
Midoriya refused to elaborate on what they were planning for the exam. Apparently not telling them about the UA crush invalidated Eraserhead's right to know things like that. So this took them by surprise.
Then they understood the plan. And they realized how incredibly screwed-up everyone besides the 1-A class now was.
(***)
"So…" Midoriya asks Shinsou when he stops singing.
"Five hundred twenty-seven examinees reacted to the song with any sort of vocalization whatsoever." He replies. He looks tired. And like he wants to hide under a rock. Midoriya asking him to sing a song was a… horror, really. "I have them all locked-on for the next two hours. Though I don't think I can brainwash more than ten of them at once, and only if they are in front of me to hear the orders."
"Awesome!" Midoriya is overjoyed that his plan worked. Of course, they did test beforehand if real-time transmission of his voice carried his quirk over. Turned out that yes, although he could still lock-on to only a certain number of people at once. And it requires some alterations to the voice amplifiers. Also there was a limit to his ability to actively influence them.
Recordings didn't work. But if all forms of electronic alteration to his voice interrupted his quirk, his voice-changing face mask wouldn't have worked. It was logical, really. He also had to be more or less close, so he couldn't just brainwash half of Japan after getting to some TV station.
"Stick to the plan, everyone!" Yaoyorozu takes over. They had it all planned. "Phase two starts now!"
They have some classmates that aren't THAT good in combat. Like Kouda. And they have to both teach other schools what the UA truly is AND make sure that everyone of them passes. Hence, phase two.
For the next ten minutes, the 1-A stays together. Every attempt to attack it ends with total (or almost total) annihilation of the attacking force. Shinsou makes up to half of it freeze, throwing the rest into a disarray, and allowing Midoriya and the others to promptly dismantle any resistance. The points are mostly given to those classmates that are seen as in the risk of failing the exam if something went really, really bad.
During those ten minutes, 1-A eliminates three hundred twenty-nine participants. They do not lose even a single point, and are at worst scratched or slightly tired.
(***)
"What…" Mera blinks a few times at the current point ranking display. "... what the fuck?"
(***)
"Alright people!" Midoriya yells. There is still some fighting around him, but most of it is over. The most gung-ho schools that banded up together for the UA Crush were promptly annihilated, leaving only the smarter ones left. Absence of Shiketsu and Ketsubutsu greatly contributed to the ease of the massacre. "Phase three! Free-for-all!"
"GIVE THEM HELL!" Uraraka in her most pumped up form imaginable ads, seriously startling a few of her classmates.
"LEAVE NONE ALIVE!" Katsuki yells back. The few still fighting opponents would be intimidated by that if they weren't already busy freaking out by being so thoroughly outmatched..
"MAY THE BEST ONE WIN!" Yoarashi chirps in. "AND THAT WILL BE ME!"
Todoroki sighs and freezes seven opponents at once. He has a feeling that he should join as well, but he has no idea what to say. What would Midoriya do right now? Oh. He would say something motivating.
"Something motivating." Todoroki deadpans. Kaminari, who was standing right next to him, began to laugh maniacally. He must have understood what was going on in Todoroki's mind.
The class separates. Some go alone, others in small groups. This is the time to go all out. More than that - it's time to go Plus Ultra.
(***)
Most of the teachers on the tribune are staring. Either at the stadium or Eraserhead. He doesn't like the latter. He is only slightly more okay with the former.
Why? Why is his class like this? Sure, they'll be wonderful heroes and will look splendid in his future resume, but…. why?!
They are having FUN. He spent so much time trying to make them understand that being heroes is dangerous and often grueling, but they grew so strong so fast that they are having FUN.
And he can't just tell them to stop, because it's not like they are underestimating their opponents. They are simply strong enough to not have to care about them. And bulldoze through every resistance while throwing jokes around.
"Eraserhead." Shiketsu teacher manages to speak. "What the hell are you teaching them?"
His students' plan for the exam was a secret. Their apparent plan to make fun with that while messing up with everyone else wasn't. And Eraserhead had a role to play in it, however he detested that.
They promised him a lot of coffee.
("Eraserhead." Snipe says after being confronted by his co-worker about the explosives. "Let me tell 'ya something important, all right?"
"What is it?" Eraserhead is about to commit a murder. This can wait for a few more seconds.
"If 'ya can't beat 'em, join 'em." Snipe replies. There is an ancient wisdom in his words.)
"That's the question to be asked to her." He says, while pointing towards the little girl sitting next to him.
The Shiketsu teacher looked at him like he wasn't sure if Aizawa was making fun of him or not. But Ms. Joke simply nodded with a solemn look on her face. And the girl in question gave him an almost regal (if unsettling) stare.
Emi was in on that, of course - she wasn't sure what the joke was about, but she hopped on the bandwagon without a second of hesitation. Emi Fukukado was like that.
"So, uhm…" The teacher really isn't sure how to react to this. The other teachers behind him appear to be confused as well. "What did you teach them, uhm…"
"I have many names." Aiko replies. Her face is emotionless, yet somehow incredibly serious. And maybe a bit unsettling. "You might refer to me as the Dreaded Aiko, Aiko-sama or the Great Young One."
She was probably having an unholy amount of fun with that, wasn't she? For now, the teachers appeared to be taken aback by this introduction.
"And I haven't taught them anything." Aiko continues. "That honour belongs to my great father. UA is delivering him periodic tributes in exchange for sharing his knowledge and power with its students.."
This is a rather odd way of saying 'my dad works for the UA as a teacher'. Odd, but technically correct.
Also, Aizawa is going to find whoever wrote those lines for her. It's Tokoyami or the Dark Shadow, isn't it? He is going to do something nasty about it.
Eraserhead really wants to be elsewhere. Alas, instead he gets to see the teachers from other schools getting persuaded by the demon child (with the help of the problem children) that UA is worshiping some goddamn Cthulhu and getting dark powers through those deals.
If Shiketsu (they all know how competitive they are towards the UA) starts sacrificing virgins to get their own Great Old One, Eraserhead is going to expel his entire class. And probably call exorcists on Aiko. He has to draw a line somewhere.
"Your great father?" Shiketsu's teacher mouths, clearly in a daze. Aiko uses that as an occasion to drive the nail deeper.
"Yes." She nods scarcely. "He used to be powerful enough to level cities with a gesture. People built shrines to him, and the entire society was shaped in his image. Alas, he lost most of his power. He decided to leave this world for his progeny to shape. That would be me and my older brother, who is taking the exam today."
She pauses, sighs and tilts her head a bit. If her intention was to appear confused about something, she succeeded.
"He took after his human mother." She finally says. "But he also has his great father's power in him. I'm really curious where this will bring him. "
Again. Odd, but technically correct. He did have the same quirk, except for the lightning and the smokescreen out of nowhere that Eraserhead had no idea how to explain. And Inko certainly is a human (not to mention the fact that Izuku got most of his looks after her), although so are everyone else involved in this. Except for Nedzu. And perhaps Aiko.
She just 'forgot' to mention that.
"If only he didn't try to keep it bottled down, hmph." She says. "Things like that are to be embraced, not hidden." And now he lost her. But it really fits the cosmic horror story theme, judging from the reactions of other teachers.
("Daigoro Banjo." Midoriya says into a mirror. The exam is the next day, and after learning what Tokoyami's idea is, he really has to get this one thing through. "I know you are there and I know that you can hear me."
He takes a deep breath. He needs to get the message through. No matter what. Otherwise… yeah, otherwise bad, no, horrible things might happen.
"I love your quirk." He decides to go with it through this angle. "It's versatile, allows you to easily restrain your opponents while also improving your mobility. Not to mention, you can hold and operate some tools with your whips! But…"
Alright, stay calm. Lariat was a good hero, he WILL understand. He is seeing everything you do from the inside, right? He knows you. And you're really looking forward to getting to know him. And the others. And probably writing a few history books about them to immortalize their deeds.
"But please, for the love of all that's holy, do not give it to me during the provisional exam." He is getting quite high with his Full Cowl percentage, and it's rather obvious that soon he'll get another quirk. He is really looking forward to this, just… "Please. If I start uncontrollably throwing black tentacles around, Hitoshi is going to add me to his Aiko Mythos. And all the other hero schools… I mean, I'm going to become a Number One Hero, hopefully, and this is a bit…intimidating, considering the circumstances."
He doesn't know that, but Lariat gives him a thumbs-up.
Lariat understands.)
Aiko actually pouts a bit. This is probably the most human expression that Eraserhead ever saw on her face.
She really is having fun messing with them like that, isn't she?
(***)
Omae wa mou shindeiru (NANI) AND rickrolling in one chapter? I sure do love the references. Next chapter, in the meantime, mostly reads like a slasher movie. No points for figuring out who's hunting who.
I need to make the 1-A scary enough so that I don't feel seriously WTF at them being involved in major operations from then on because honestly I find the canon presence of first years anywhere near the battlefield during the Paranormal Liberation War to be questionable at best. If all your regular heroes can't do their job properly and you need to send entire first year hero classes (while second years are absent, and only three third years are seen anywhere), please surrender to Tomura Shigaraki immediately. Ugh.