The Comfort of Knowledge, Chapter 12
No. It just wasn't right.
The hair was too long; the hips were too wide; the moans were terribly high-pitched and distracting. And the skin...well the skin was just too damn hot against his forehead.
Merlin only knew why her green eyes wouldn't change color this time.
The dark-haired boy looked down at the blonde's back once more and stifled a groan of frustration.
For the fourth time that week he found himself in the second floor boys' bathroom with a very much naked blonde bent over one of the porcelain sinks.
Ever since seeing Remus half-naked and scarred in the dim bathroom light, it was like the switch that had been flickering on and off inside of him for months was suddenly and irreversibly shut off. No one but the shy, friendly werewolf could spark any hint of fire within him. Each encounter with Azalia was making it more and more difficult for him to forget that he wasn't actually touching Remus – no matter how good his imagination was at making him think otherwise.
Sirius found he had rearranged his entire daily routine since that night with Remus. Within a matter of days, he had been waking up hours before he normally would have; needing books from the library on the evenings he knew Remus would be there studying; suddenly starving when the fifth years had their lunch break between charms and potions.
The latest brief encounter with Remus was what had caused him to skip out on James and Peter's little excursion to the dungeon that evening.
He'd needed some sort of release.
But now, as he glared at the tan, smooth, curvy back in front of him, he knew that even his trusty imagination wouldn't hold out much longer.
He thrust forward into the blonde and turned his head away from the mirror in front of them. He didn't want to look at the girl's green eyes, heavy-lidded in lust; or his own gray-eyed gaze staring back at him accusingly.
He wanted to get this over with.
Remus had been laughing at dinner that evening.
His warm, honey-toned voice had travelled past the few students sitting between them and sent an almost imperceptible shiver down Sirius' spine. The sight of the golden eyes, downcast as he spoke, caused a rush of affection to course through Sirius.
When Remus combed his fingers nervously through his hair – it was as if he knew Sirius was watching him and was unsure how to react to receiving such attention. It only made Sirius want to watch him more.
But the laugh, his laugh was Sirius' undoing.
He had bolted from the Great Hall – again – and sought out the blonde for what must have been their fiftieth round of desperate, frenzied sex in just under a month.
Her whining voice brought him back to the present.
"Don't be a tease, Sirius. Move."
Trying to start over with a renewed sense of focus, he ignored her strong perfume and strangled noises as he gripped her hips and thrust forward once more.
Remus would be on his way to the study group by now; his eyes wide and bright at the prospect of more books.
The thought made Sirius smile.
He leaned forward again to rest his head on the girl's back, as he had with Remus, and silently pleaded with his imagination for one more vision.
There.
He could almost feel the cool skin beneath him again; the scars appearing on the flawless back one by one. He placed sweet, chaste kisses where he imagined each one of them to be and sighed.
His eyes fell shut.
Sirius knew then that he would have given anything to feel the smooth hands on him; to feel his kisses being returned. He could feel it building up inside of him and no longer heard the girl's moans – his own groans of pleasure drowning them out.
The familiar ache returned to his stomach. He was close.
"Remus," he whispered the boy's name softly against her back, unable to stop himself. His voice could not have been heard over the girl's moans anyway.
The door behind them flew open.
"Good god, Black! Was there no other place free but the boys' bathroom?"
He lifted his head sharply at the exasperated voice and glared into the mirror at the dark-haired Hufflepuff prefect standing in the doorway.
Had it really been necessary to shout? Surely all of Gryffindor tower had heard that.
The sound of more footsteps quickly approaching confirmed his thoughts.
He stepped back quickly from the girl and straightened his clothes, a frustrated scowl gracing his handsome features.
He had been so close.
Within seconds, several figures had appeared in the doorway behind the prefect. Most of them looked like third and fourth year boys, anxious to catch a glimpse of something they'd only ever heard about. Scanning their faces quickly, his heart sped up at the sight of brown hair and golden eyes.
A concerned looking Remus stood towards the back of the group, a faint frown line between his eyes.
He looked disappointed. That was the only way Sirius could think to describe the expression on Remus' face right then.
Although Sirius was clothed (and the blonde had pulled her robe on quickly to cover herself) it was clear what they had been doing.
"Surely you could have found a better place than here?" the prefect asked again, now looking slightly amused.
Sirius shrugged, unable to take his eyes away from Remus.
With a shake of his head, the prefect left – clearly under the impression that any attempt to discipline the dark-haired boy would be futile. Without much to look at, the crowd started to clear off as well, talking amongst themselves in disappointed whispers as they went.
Remus, too, only stood for a moment longer, a blush staining his cheeks, before he was gone.
Sirius heart clenched.
"Well! That's the first time we've been caught in ages and we didn't even get a detention," the blonde pointed out with a smile. "And ha! Poor Remus. Did you see how red his face was? He must be a virgin. Wait until the girls hear!"
Sirius turned to face the blonde, the glare returning to his face.
"'The girls' don't need to know anything about it," he spat.
Without another look at the shocked girl, he grabbed his cloak from the floor and stormed out.
He needed to find Remus.
It had been a long week.
Between the never-ending list of assignments; the recurring dreams that now plagued his sleep; and a foreboding letter from his aunt the day before, it felt like the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend – promising chocolate, butterbeer, and books – would never come.
To top it all off, he had just walked in on Sirius, sweaty and disheveled, finishing up with one of his girls.
He would have liked to get some fresh air but he knew he should at least make a start on his homework and so, with flushed cheeks, he found himself walking along one of the many aisles in the library.
Fingers grazing the titles distractedly, Remus didn't pay any mind to the people walking past until one set of footsteps stopped directly behind him.
"Remus," a voice breathed on his neck.
He dropped his hand back down to his side and slowly turned to face the owner of the voice.
Sirius, with still-tousled hair and a half-buttoned shirt on, was staring down at him with what looked like regret in his eyes. He studied Remus' face intently for several moments.
"I'm sorry," he said abruptly.
Remus frowned.
"What for?"
The dark haired boy looked deep in thought. "I don't know. I just didn't want you to see – I don't even really like her – I just... I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."
"Oh."
Remus' eyes flicked down to the other boy's parted lips.
Was there more he wanted to say?
"You don't need to be sorry, Sirius. I shouldn't have gone there. I just heard Williams shout your name and I thought something...might have been wrong."
Sirius let out a breath and gave him a small smile.
"So you were going to rescue me, were you?"
Remus hoped he wasn't blushing.
He could feel Sirius' intense gaze on him again and nervously reached his hand up to his hair, turning away from the gray eyes.
Sirius stepped even closer then, their faces inches apart.
"Don't look away, Remus," he whispered.
Remus looked back at him instantly, surprised at the desperate tone in Sirius' voice.
"Merlin Remus, if you only knew..." the taller boy continued, leaning in a fraction closer.
Remus opened his mouth on a question but before he could ask anything, Sirius raised a hand up to touch his face.
"Remus, I –"
But before the sixth year could get any closer, the smell of perfume, strong and wholly feminine, assaulted Remus' senses and he jerked his head back quickly - hitting it hard against one of the shelves behind him.
"Ouch!"
Sirius immediately dropped his hand and stepped back, looking apologetic.
"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.
"Yeah, fine. I just – the smell – it's a bit – erm – strong."
Sirius' eyes widened and he seemed to understand.
"Oh, right – of course. Sorry."
Remus thought he sounded relieved.
They stood for a few seconds in silence.
"It is a horrible scent, isn't it?" Sirius said finally. "I thought maybe it was just me but clearly not."
Remus' mouth twitched. "It could be worse," he said fairly.
"Yes, but not much worse... right?"
Remus let out a low laugh.
"No, Sirius, not much worse," he conceded.
A triumphant smile spread across Sirius' face and Remus felt his heart swell.
"Yes, well, I should go take a shower. Get this smell off."
Remus nodded. "I should get back to studying."
Sirius laughed softly.
"Of course you should." He gave Remus' face one last lingering look. "Night then, Remus."
"Goodnight, Sirius," he whispered.
As Remus watched the tall boy walk away, he marveled at the sight of the messy hair and rumpled clothes. How he still managed to look good – maybe even better than he normally did – after such an exhausting activity was a mystery to Remus.
He sighed.
No. Never had the end of a week been so eagerly anticipated.