The Comfort of Knowledge, Chapter 13
The chilly spring air was surprisingly refreshing to the three students making their way to the crowded streets of Hogsmeade.
The mousy haired boy had been whining most of the way and the two taller sixth years sighed simultaneously when he opened his mouth to continue.
"I mean, I can't believe she gave us detention, James...and on a Hogsmeade Saturday at that!"
"Yes, well," the bespectacled boy replied. "Instead of raiding the Slytherins' dorms maybe next time we should do the right thing and take a girl to the romantic hotspot of the decade for a quick shag like Sirius here."
"Yeah, you're right," the smaller boy said in agreement. "Sirius didn't even get told off!"
"It was a joke, Pete," James said with a sigh.
He turned to face the boy in question.
"The bathroom, Sirius? Really? And here I was thinking you had a shred of class left..."
The black-haired boy glared at his friend but said nothing.
"Even old Malfoy would have given the poor girl a bed. What will all the lovely ladies of Hogwarts think of the so-called Gryffindor gentlemen?"
Sirius snorted.
"You mean what will Evans think of you and as I've told you countless times before, it'll take more than one of my simple, little escapades to change her opinion of you, mate."
The hazel eyes narrowed.
"Yes, well...she won't be able to resist me tonight. Tell me I don't look positively dashing in red."
"You look great, James," the smaller boy piped up.
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Try not to encourage him so much, Peter...I'm beginning to think you're the reason he's two steps away from giving up on Evans and just carrying a mirror around with himself for the rest of his life."
He got a shove for his remark but no response.
They had arrived in Hogsmeade.
"Alright, I want each of you to keep an eye out for Evans. It wouldn't do for this," James pointed to his red sweater, "to go to waste."
Scanning the crowds, the three sixth years pushed their way through the masses, stopping to glance through the windows of a few choice shops along the way.
It was already late into the afternoon and most students had spent the entire day in Hogsmeade.
The boys wandered into several shops – James' eyes widening in excitement at some brooms on display – as they looked for any signs of the red head.
As Peter was ushering James into Honeyduke's for a quick 'sweet stop', the sight of a group of students across the street stopped Sirius from following his friends inside.
He squinted, hoping he didn't look too obvious, and quickly found who he was looking for.
Remus was standing between two short, curly haired girls who were eyeing him predatorily.
Sirius couldn't blame them.
Remus looked incredibly good dressed in muggle clothes. He had on jeans and a nice, black sweater over his collared school shirt. His golden eyes were glowing in contrast to the dark colors and Sirius could tell from where he was standing that Remus was laughing about something one of the girls had said.
Sirius stood for a short while, hoping Remus would look over, before students began to get annoyed at his position right outside the entrance.
He reluctantly turned away from Remus and followed a couple of third years into the sweet shop.
As he watched his friends race around in excitement he could feel a flood of emotions coursing through him – confusion, frustration and longing being the most dominant. The only thing that brought Sirius comfort was the realization that it was the first time in weeks that he felt no desire to search for the blonde after seeing Remus.
Due to the long queues, the boys were in Honeyduke's for almost an hour before James was back to pulling them briskly down the darkening streets.
They made it to the Three Broomsticks in record time.
Crowded as usual, the trio squeezed in at a table next to a group of women at the back. The women all had matching hats on and one of them had the words 'can't have me...Bride to be' flashing in bright colors on the front.
Ignoring the winks they got from the ladies, James searched the pub anxiously while the other two contemplated how best to talk Madam Rosmerta into giving them a few drinks.
"There! There she is! Move over Peter, quick! EVANS! HEY EVANS! THERE'S ROOM OVER HERE!"
The pretty red head turned, raised one slim, elegant eyebrow at the scene James was making, and shook her head. She turned away quietly and headed over to a table with a few other sixth year girls.
Sirius and Peter reached over to give their friend a comforting pat on the back but he nudged their hands away.
"Did you guys see that?" he asked excitedly. "She literally had to force herself to stop looking at me!"
Sirius shook his head and Peter frowned in the direction of the girls figuring he must've misread the red head's true expression.
Sirius shifted to the side and stood up.
"Firewhiskey, mate?"
James nodded.
"Peter?"
"Yeah, same for me."
Sirius pulled a galleon from his pocket and nodded at a couple of seventh years nearby.
As he waited at a table near the front for his drinks, he glanced impatiently out the front window at the few students milling around the various shop entrances. Sirius watched as a group of students waved over their shoulders at someone further down the street and headed over to the pub.
He saw a flash of black and gold and his heart sped up.
Remus.
The boy was heading into a bookshop on his own, a slight smile on his face.
Sirius would have liked to race across the street and follow him in but he knew he didn't have any reason to do such a thing.
He stood quietly debating with himself the reasons why he should leave Remus alone (and was about to turn away) when another figure hurried into the bookshop after Remus. Pale and lanky as ever, the sight of Shanks following Remus gave Sirius a decidedly unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach.
That particular Slytherin wasn't known for being studious.
Sirius was outside in an instant, crossing to the shop with an uneasy feeling building up inside of him.
He opened the door carefully and slipped inside.
A few of the students gave him confused looks as he passed by – clearly they didn't believe that Sirius Black could be in search of a bit of extracurricular reading material. He peered around various aisles of the large bookstore, searching for the familiar form and stopping abruptly at the sound of Shanks' harsh, raspy voice coming from an aisle at the back.
"I knew there was something I remembered about you," he spat nastily. "You better hope I don't tell him, Lupin."
A sudden wave of nausea hit Sirius. Shanks had figured out Remus' secret. But how?
He pushed himself off the shelf and rounded the corner in an instant.
Shanks was leaning over Remus with a look of disgust on his face. They both turned to face him.
"Déjà vu, eh Black?" Shanks' whispered maliciously. "Come to rescue your little boyfriend again?"
Sirius lunged forward and grabbed the front of the boy's shirt, shoving him away from Remus.
"Get out of here, Shanks. Now."
The boy glared at the pair as he dusted the front of his robes off.
"Fingers crossed, eh Lupin?" And with a one last satisfied look at them, he strode away.
Sirius turned back to find Remus, pale and shaking, staring in horror at the spot where the boy had been.
"Remus?" he whispered concernedly. "Remus, what happened? How did he find out?"
Remus turned away quickly, lowering his head.
"How much did you hear, Sirius?"
The dark-haired boy frowned.
"What does it matter? I already found out. You know that."
Remus turned back around sharply to face him.
"You do? But how could you...oh—oh." A look of comprehension came over Remus' face suddenly and he relaxed against the shelves – a soft sigh escaping his parted lips. "Of course. My...erm...condition. Yes. well..."
Sirius felt confused.
"I'm missing something," he stated simply, stepping closer to the boy. "All these secrets, Remus...it must be exhausting."
The big, golden eyes were full of worry again in an instant.
"Sirius, I –" the boy's voice was strained. He was thinking carefully about his choice of words. "You already know more than you should, Sirius. And I...I can take care of myself. Please. Please don't ask any more questions."
Sirius stared at the pleading eyes and the poor, perfect bottom lip being chewed mercilessly in the boy's nervousness.
He couldn't deny Remus anything when he looked like that.
He sighed and nodded in agreement.
"Ok, Remus," he said reluctantly. "But if you ever need anything..."
The boy smiled up at him, looking genuinely appreciative of the offer.
"Thank you, Sirius. That is very kind."
The golden eyes stared up at him for awhile longer, studying, and Sirius felt himself become a little self-conscious at the attention.
"Sirius?"
"Hm?"
"Are James and Peter waiting for you somewhere?"
Sirius was startled out of his daze by the comment and couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice when he replied.
"Oh. Yeah. I guess I should get back."
Remus stared at him with a puzzled expression on his face as he turned to go.
"Sirius – wait," the boy called as he reached the end of the aisle. "You...you can stay if you'd like."
Sirius knew he must look like an overexcited pup but he just didn't really care.
"Yeah?"
Remus laughed softly.
"Of course. I just...probably won't be as exciting company as James or Peter would be. You see, I've been waiting for this book to come out for ages and well...I was kind of planning to do a bit of reading today."
Sirius grinned.
"That's fine. I'll get a book too. We can read together," he said enthusiastically.
Reading together ended up equating to Sirius sitting with his head down and his eyes fixed on Remus as the boy eagerly read his new book.
They had both paid for their books and found a quiet area in the back with a few scattered tables.
Remus' eyes were glued to the pages but every so often Sirius thought he saw the golden orbs freeze on the page, as if he realized he was being watched. After awhile Sirius had to force himself to read ten lines for every two minutes he got to stare at the tawny haired boy across from him.
When he started to get nervous that Remus might notice the lack of attention towards his book he would turn a page or two without reading them. It had been well over an hour since he'd left the pub but he knew James and Peter would have assumed he had run into a pretty girl and gone for a quick snog somewhere.
He continued his ten line-two minute routine without interruption until a bushy-haired employee poked her head around the corner and cleared her throat.
"Hey...you guys are from Hogwarts, right? You might want to check this out."
The boys looked at each other in confusion as they rose and followed the woman to the front of the shop.
There was something going on outside.
Several rowdy students were crowded around something – cheering excitedly under the dim light of the streetlamps.
Remus walked up close to the window; Sirius just behind him.
It was not that Sirius didn't feel slightly curious about what was holding so many students' attention outside but he knew, without a doubt, that the figure in front of him was much more interesting than anything going on out there could ever be.
He studied the back of Remus carefully.
On his neck there was a small, white scar on the otherwise flawless skin. Without thinking, he reached a finger up to trace it.
"Sirius!"
His hand snapped back down to his side as Remus turned to look at him with wide, concerned eyes.
"Sirius, that's James doing that! You've got to stop him!"
He looked past Remus' golden eyes and out through the window.
It was indeed James.
His friend had Severus Snape hanging upside down in the air. He appeared to be throwing several hexes at him – much to the crowd's amusement.
The sight wasn't entirely unfamiliar to Sirius but he knew it wasn't something Remus would have seen much and, wanting to please the boy, he nodded and rushed outside.
"Oi! What's going on out here?"
The circle parted to let him through and he walked up to his messy-haired friend.
There was the strong smell of alcohol hovering in the air around them and as he got closer to his friend he saw the hazel eyes were glazed over.
"Sirius!" he shouted in greeting. "There you are! Look what I caught! He was trying to chat up Evans again."
To anyone but Sirius, James sounded amused, delighted even, at having caught Severus. But Sirius could hear the disappointment and hurt in his voice.
"James, mate, it's time to get back," he said quietly, taking his friend's arm in a careful but firm grip.
James narrowed his eyes at his friend, clearly struggling to see him in the dark.
"Sirius?" he whispered, all amusement gone from his voice.
"What is it, mate?"
James' expression was pained and he looked up mournfully at his friend.
"Oh Merlin, Sirius," he moaned suddenly. "I'm gonna be sick."
Several things happened at once.
Severus' thin form came crashing to the ground, the spell holding him vanishing in an instant – the circle parted again in two places – one so James could run to the bushes outside of the pub and another so Remus could hurry forward from the sidelines to help the Slytherin up. Several of the shop owners rushed out at once to make sure the boy who had fallen wasn't seriously injured.
Sirius fought down the jealousy he felt at the sight of Remus rushing to help the Slytherin and ran through the parted crowd to check on his friend.
Without the excitement, the drunken mass of students began to dissipate at an incredibly fast rate – most of them filed back inside the Three Broomsticks to grab another drink.
As Sirius stood guarding his friend while he spilled the contents of the evening into the bushes, he felt a gentle touch on his arm.
"Is he okay?" a soft voice whispered in his ear.
Sirius looked at Remus' concerned face and the soft, pale hand resting on his arm and he felt something inside of him settle into place so quickly it was almost startling.
He knew what he wanted.
He wanted to wrap one arm around Remus and the other around his best friend, and just go.
They were the only people he would ever need, weren't they?
Granted, he would eventually have to knock Evans unconscious and kidnap her so she and James could marry; but other than that it suddenly seemed like the most natural thing in the world to want what he wanted.
"Yeah," he whispered finally. "He needs to sleep it off. I should get him back to school."
Remus looked up at him and nodded.
"Do you need any help?"
Sirius shook his head. "No, you stay here and enjoy your books. I'll take care of him."
He reached forward and helped his messy-haired friend to stand, supporting most of the boy's weight himself.
Remus was studying his face again.
"You're a very good friend, Sirius," he whispered.
The entire student body could have told him he was the greatest wizard in the world – and meant it – and it still wouldn't have felt as good a compliment from Remus did.
Sirius felt a burst of pleasure and smiled softly at the tawny haired boy.
"Goodbye, Remus," he said. "Thanks for letting me stay with you while you read."
Remus watched silently as Sirius and a stumbling, barely-conscious James set off down the road. He hesitated for several long minutes until they reached the end of the street. Then took off at a run after them.
"Sirius! Wait up!"
"Remus," the sixth year said when he reached them. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine. I just...did you know that all the shops are open late tonight?"
The dark-haired boy nodded slowly.
"Well, I'll be in the bookshop for awhile longer..."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
They stood in silence.
"Will you come back, Sirius?" Remus asked finally.
Sirius wondered if it wasn't a little bit unhealthy for his heart to race so much. He could not bring himself to care much though as he looked into the other boy's eyes.
"Yeah," he promised. "Just give me an hour."
Remus gave him a shy smile in response and slowed to a stop, watching as the two boys walked away.
Sirius looked back at the dark silhouette. The golden eyes were glowing in the distance.
He faced forward again with determination and hoisted James' arm up over his shoulder.
If he hurried, he could get back in much less than an hour.