He walked down the sidewalk, his yellow eyes gleaming as brightly as the sun beneath his trademark rapper shades. Bob Bobowski had nothing to worry about, today was a warm, late Saturday morning, and the Garo was strolling through the downtown district.
However, his day was no ordinary Saturday.
Quite recently, a construction crew had started working on a new hotel a few blocks away from the trash dump where Bob was living and the foreman came by to look for more construction tools. When the construction worker, who was a friend of SMG4, met with Bob, the man asked the former rapper if he could go to the hardware store and get some tools for him.
While Bob was a self-absorbed jerk, especially since he'd ditched his friends and had given them trouble in the past, he was more than willing to do the construction foreman a favor.
After all, a friend of SMG4's may as well be a friend of Bob's. So, what the heck, as long as WorkerBoi95 and the rest of the bois didn't start doing construction on the land that was his home and have him move somewhere else.
The cloaked hobo walked down 1989 Pisano Avenue and often waved to a couple Toads. Bob at one point spotted a guy wearing a T-shirt showing a picture of Bob in his rapping gear, which the Garo didn't think too much about. While those days were over, he was still fond of his tenure and would occasionally practice his rapping skills, if anybody wanted to hear him sing again.
He casually walked down the street, towards the place he intended to go to; Viger's Hardware. It was half the size of any other hardware store, but it was still the right place.
Bob stepped onto the mat and the door automatically opened, he strolled inside the store and the Magnemite manager himself appeared from behind a shelf with a box of wrenches right before the door shut behind the cloaked Garo. When Viger saw Bob, his eyes closed, which showed that he was smiling, and he waved a magnet arm happily.
"Oh, hey there." Viger said, "Viger's Hardware, and how may we help you today?"
"Yo." Bob waved a sword hand, "I'm lookin' for a 3-millimeter wrench and a 5. Callibur drill..."
"Wait a minute..." Viger's eyes widened, "I know you. You're Bob, one of SMG4's friends, and you're that rapper from a few years back."
"Ah, hell yeah." Bob nodded, "I was one badass rapper, wasn't I?"
"You were..." Viger's eyes then widened with fury and the shop manager floated towards the Garo with fire in his pupils, "You were a scummy, down and dirty rapper who did some nasty stuff. Kicking that kid down a well? tricking your friends into destroying your own mansion? SHAME ON YOU..."
"LOL, why can't we just…?"
"And the Diss Track? Oh, ho-ho-ho. You should not have done that, buddy." Viger wagged his magnet hand in a chiding manner while giving off a fake Pokémon smile before going back to angrily glaring at him, "And Darkest Hour was the perfect counter-diss, wouldn't you agree, Jackass?!"
"Um, that was a long time ago, maybe you should..."
However, just before he could finish his thought, Viger spoke again. But this time, the manager spoke in a rap; "/Welcome to my store where, for me, sellin' tools is my life's chore. But if you're someone like a Bob who is a Garo.../" Viger floated up close, "/You should wallow with sorrow. Look at yourself, you look like a hag, you're an ugly hobo wearing a drag and look like a walking trash bag!/"
Bob's eyes widened, he could not believe this nice store manager hated him for what he did during his rap career and was roasting him. Why couldn't he be civil?
His eyes then narrowed and turned red with anger, Bob glared at Viger and pointed a sword hand right at him.
"Oh yeah?" The Garo snapped, "How about, you're a big stinky metal ball who needs to not hold grudges!? Your magnets are unattractive despite your polish and you look like a failed science experiment, you get no women and neither do you get any magnetic oval eggs!"
Viger's eye widened... with shock.
"Ha-Ha! Looks like you just got roasted, bro!" Bob crossed his arms, "This is what you get when you mess with the king of raps and roasts, you chrome-domed, magnet-wielding loser with grudge problems who never met someone like me before. Maybe you shouldn't be running this place at all; maybe you should run a magnet house that's more 'attractive'!"
Bob laughed and Viger floated back in shock; the magnetic Pokémon would not stand for this outrage, especially when he was the manager of the most important store in the Mushroom Kingdom.
The Garo brought out his phone and was just texting some of his friends about his 'epic roast of Viger' when an angry metal ball smacked him in the face and knocked Bob to the ground.
"Ow, there go my oval-eggs again like every time!" Bob wailed with surprise.
"You can shop here as long as there is no trouble from you, pal." Viger told the Garo with disdain in his voice, "Do not start causing trouble or you're going on my hated customers list if you stir up a single ruckus in my store! This is your only warning; you mind your own business and buy what you came to buy and then get out. I'm warning you, Bob. NO! TROUBLE!"
"Screw you!" Bob swatted Viger aside, "I don't need to be bossed around by an ugly magnet orb Pokémon!"
With that, even with Viger grumbling to himself, the robed Garo began walking around the store. He looked at every shelf that had a screwdriver, a wrench and a power drill with boxes of screws, nuts and bolts everywhere he looked.
Bob brought out a piece of paper titled "Bob's Beeg List of Shopping for Losers", his shopping list. He had a few items listed on there, a "5. Callibur Drill" and a "3 Millimeter Wrench".
The Garo looked around the right wing of the store, passing by a Goomba along the way. There weren't very many customers here today, stores on Saturdays were very light on people shopping for items.
A light-brown male Inkling in overalls climbed down a ladder, having just picked a box full of hammers. The Inkling boy checked out with Viger, then he was out the door.
With nothing in particular on the right wing, Bob headed to the left wing where wrenches and drills were commonly sold together. He looked at the lowest shelf where items were easy to reach for and looked at all the tools there, Bob checked his list and scanned the shelf very closely.
Black Laser Drill, no.
Ten-meter wrench, not the right one.
Sixteen gigabyte battery-powered drill, not too important.
Bob kept looking, then his eyes fell upon a large wrench in a box with the numbering and letters; Three Milometer. Perfect! One down and one to go. Looking further to the right, a tall drill with the number five on it caught his very eye; the 5. Callibur, this was it!
Satisfied with his shopping finds, the Garo brought out a pencil and checked off the items. Then he grabbed a bag and scooped the two tools into the shopping bag; mission complete.
However, there was one more thing, something that he did not expect.
Bob turned around and he was about to head to Viger's counter to check out the items when someone appeared in the area. The Garo backed up as he lay eyes on someone he did not expect to see; a tall, mid-weight man had come by the sector of the store, sporting red shades, spiked boots, a vest and a skull necklace.
'Oh no.' Bob thought, 'Not him.'
He tried to back away slowly, but the man turned in the Garo's direction and caught sight of him. Bob froze, there was no getting out of this reunion and that meant a whole load of trouble.
"Well, well..." The man said, "If it isn't Bob Bobowski, I never thought this day would come. But, still. It's been a while, eh, Bob?"
"Damn! Garrow Rhapasode?!" Bob exclaimed with utter shock, "I didn't think I'd be seeing you again, especially after my rap career ended. Oh, man, you tried to sabotage my concerts and give me trouble.
"I'll never forget my Sun Valley tour, where you had some goons plant a fire bomb underneath the stage during the performance. You were really trying to discredit and dethrone me, LOL!"
"I WAS THE TOP RAPPER IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM BEFORE YOU CAME TO TOWN, BOBOWSKI!" Garrow shouted, "YOU WERE TAKING MY FANS AWAY FROM ME, BOTCHING MY PLACE ON THE TOP TEN GREATEST RAPPERS LIST AND DESTROYING MY LIFE!
"YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO RAPPING, THINKING YOU COULD BE THE KING OF RAPPING WHEN THAT TITLE BELONGS TO ME! AND WHEN I THOUGHT I COULD BEAT YOU IN SARASSALAND, YOU JUST RAPPED OFF MY ASS LIKE I WAS A JOKE!
"I LOST EVERYTHING I WORKED HARD FOR, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU BOOTED ME OFF THAT STAGE! YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! YOU ROBBED ME OF MY FAME AND MY FANS! I HAD NOTHING BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU WALKING TRASH BAG!"
"Nobody cares now." Bob told Garrow unapologetically, "That was a long time ago, but you can never get your dignity back. Just look at yourself; you're a fat hobo living on the streets with no beats! You're a loser; a loser with no practiced talent. And most of all, you're a fatass, a fatass who sounds like a bloated-up whale when you sing."
Garrow was taken aback by Bob's words.
"Don't even start!" Viger called sternly.
Bob watched his former rival and started snickering, the Garo was amused with himself, he was so good at roasting people. Bob was just turning around to leave when he heard Garrow yell at him, but when the disgruntled, humiliated ex-rapper spoke again, it sounded like he was yelling into a microphone.
"REALLY, BOB? YOU'RE CALLIN' ME A FATASS WHO SOUNDS LIKE A BLOATED WHALE WHEN I SING?" Garrow said with fury, "IS THAT WHAT YOU JUST CALLED ME? NOW YOU'RE WALKING AWAY LIKE YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SHIT LIKE THAT, YOU ROBED BASTARD!?"
Mildly irritated, Bob turned around. Sure enough, Garrow had brought out a microphone from his pocket. How it was working without it being hooked up to anything; that was beyond Bob, it didn't matter. The former rapper was glaring at the non-human rapper with rage in his eyes. And the next thing everyone knew, Garrow started making beat-box noises.
Then, music started blaring from a sound-box with the volume at full blast with such high intensity, the whole hardware store was vibrating to the beat and Garrow spoke again.
But this time, he spoke in a rap as loudly as he possibly could;
"You think you can walk the walk with no consequence and talk the talk without conscience.
Takin' away my fame, Bob. Oh, what a shame, it looks like you've got nothing left to rob.
You think you were a snap when you rapped the rap, but you're nothing but scrapped rapper crap.
Oh, Bob. Thinkin' yourself as a fine corn on the cob, well, you're now nothin' but a sad slob.
Go fall on a sword with your face, you yellow-eyed disgrace!
You say, when I sing, I sound like a strangled whale. Guess what? I say you were doomed to fail.
Oh, how that voice of yours sounds like a robot when you talk, nor are you hot when you walk.../"
Bob was shocked, he couldn't believe Garrow still actually had it in him!
However, the once-famous rapper was singing at such a high volume to a point where tools were shaking in their racks and the intensity was shaking the store. Several screwdrivers and drills fell off the shelves and crashed to the floor, smashing to pieces around Bob and Garrow.
The Garo ignored the calamity and focused on his old rival; he might as well be singing a diss track; The Garrow Diss Track. Garrow must have been practicing, but how often did he do so?
Regardless, Garrow still sounded like a bloated whale by Bob's standards.
"HEY! CUT OUT THAT RACKET BACK THERE!" Viger shouted.
The cloaked Garo ignored the store manager, his eyes were red with fury.
Bob was not going to let that stupid ex-rapper roast him, it was time to bring out his A-game and he did not care if their rap battle caused collateral damage. Garrow needed to learn a very, very hard lesson!
Bob whipped out a microphone just before Garrow could rap further, the former rapper turned up the volume and the microphone let out a loud whine on par with Garrow's microphone.
"Whatcha gonna do, Bobowski?" Garrow taunted, "You gonna rap my brains out!"
'Maybe.' The Garo thought.
He inhaled, taking a deep breath, and then he let it all out. Bob shouted into his microphone, yelling at Garrow and shaking the store to its foundation.
"YOU WOT M8!" Bob shouted, "YOUR ROAST HAS NO APPEAL AND YOU ARE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK LIKE MORE OF A SORE LOSER; YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BLOATED WHALE! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH TRASH LIKE THIS, I'LL GIVE YOU A RAP YOU WON'T FORGET!"
"/Now the crowd places its bet, ya think you've seen nothin' yet!/" Garrow sneered, "/What'cha got cookin' with that rap, I'm gonna start bookin' up your crap, by the time we're done and you've already had yo' fun. I say you suck, go run home and…/"
Bob interrupted quickly;
"/YOU STOP RIGHT THERE; THIS IS NO FAIR AND WE ALREADY HATE YOUR HAIR!
ITS TIME FOR YOU TO RUN! GO GRAB A GUN AND PULL THAT TRIGGER, YOU'RE DONE!
ALL WE SEE IS A BIG LOSER; YOU WERE ONCE A REAL DOOZER, NOW ALL WE SEE IS A SNOOZER!
YOU'RE SO OLD, YOU'VE BECOME FAT AS A CAT. LOOK AT YOU, THINKING YOURSELF BOLD!
GARROW RHAPASODE SUCKS, GO PLAY WITH THE DUCKS, YOU BIG FAT CHARGIN' CHUCK!
RHAPASODE, YOU'RE A FAT SLOB! RHAPASODE, YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE BOB!/"
Bob rapped so loudly, the hardware store shook and several tools started rattling dangerously on the edges of the shelves.
Garrow's temples were throbbing and his face was red; he did not like that he was being beaten by a Garo again. Bob stepped closer towards the disgruntled ex-rapper and kicked him hard in the groin.
Garrow cried out and doubled over, taken off guard by this move.
"Guess who would be ashamed of your career as a loser?" Bob declared, "Your mom!"
Appalled, the former rapping star glared at his rival with tears in his eyes. Bob went on, "AND ANOTHER THING; YOU GET NO CHICKS, NO WOMEN CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAT LOSER WITH A TERRIBLE RAP! Let me tell you, Garrow, the chicks get their kicks from Bob!"
That set off Garrow;
"/Oh, who cares about the babes, Bob? Nobody cares, you ugly cob!
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SOB, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S THE UGLY SLOB!
GARROW KICKS; I GOT THE HITS AND SCORED A LOAD OF CHICKS AND WE GOT OUR FAVORITE PICKS!
ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP, YOU DESERVE A.../"
Bob kicked a shelf and an electric drill fell off the edge, the appliance landed right on top of Garrow's head and clanged to the ground. The ex-rapper dropped his mike and rubbed his head with a groan, then, he fell to the floor and lay there in an unconscious slump.
The rap was over!
The Garo put away his microphone and reacquired his shopping bag. With Garrow taken care of, he could pay for the items and leave.
Bob headed to the front counter and brought out a wallet, the drill cost $1.05 and the screwdriver was two cents; he had plenty of money. Viger was waiting for Bob when he arrived, however, he wasn't too happy with what had just happened.
Once the Garo's payment was complete, Viger emerged from behind the counter and grabbed Bob with one of his magnet hands. Then he led the Garo outside the store and glared at him.
"You caused a massive ruckus in my store, you stupid idiot!" The Pokémon said with an angry scowl, "And on top of that, there was a lot of expensive tools you wrecked with that rap battle. Because of that, you're banned from my store, you disruptive menace to society!"
"Oh, yeah? Go f^%$ a wall, you magnet moron!" Bob snapped.
"HEY!"
The Garo walked away with his tools, his task complete, regardless of what had happened, even while Viger shouted at him; "COME BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE! DO YOU HAVE ANY DECENCY? YOU SHOULD BE SORRY! GET BACK HERE! BOB! GET YOUR TAIL BACK HERE! FINE! WALK AWAY, IGNORE ME! WHO'S GONNA CLEAN UP THAT MESS YOU MADE!? I HATE YOU, BOB! I! HATE! YOU!"
Bob ignored the ranting Magnemite and continued on his way, heading to the construction site by his house. Today was just another Saturday in the Garo's life and, after completing his shopping task and defeating an old enemy, it felt great, regardless of what had happened with Viger…
The End