Ch 19: Drowning

~ Bella's POV~

Monday came all too soon, and I knew I'd have to face the reality of our separation sooner or later. It came sooner rather than later though.

"Edward not sitting with us today?" Jess asked as I sat down at our usual table. I watched her eyes shoot across the cafeteria, seeking him out.

"Um, no. We broke up." My voice was surprisingly even. Far more so than I would have thought. Seth and Jess exchanged surprised looks. "What?"

Jess put her head in her hands, while Seth sighed.

"Ugh, he's so perfect. I can't believe you broke up with him." Jess announced dramatically.

"I didn't."

Her head snapped up in shock.

"Wait. He broke it off with you?" Why was that so shocking?

I grimaced at her, trying to keep my composure.

"Yeah. Is that really so surprising?" I crunched down on a carrot, hoping I didn't sound as sad as I felt.

Her mouth hung open and she stared at me. Seth nudged her sharply, as if to suggest I might have hurt feelings. He wasn't wrong.

"Sorry Bella. I think, what Jess meant was, it seemed like he really liked you. I mean obviously Edward's never been in a long-term relationship before, but… you guys have been together for months now. It's just surprising." He clarified softly.

I shrugged.

"It's really not a big deal." I may have bitten into my carrot more forcefully than necessary.

Jess gave me sad eyes.

"It's so a big deal. You've never even dated anyone before, and I just can't believe he broke up with you. Like what the hell!?" Her voice had risen, and I was getting embarrassed. I really hoped no one had heard her.

"Calm down!" I threw up my hands. No matter how much things with Edward hurt, it hadn't been a real relationship, and I had no right to turn him into a bad guy because of it. "It's really fine. I agreed it was a good idea."

Her eyes flashed, calling me on my bullshit.

"You're just being nice Bella."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"No, I'm not. Yes, Edward may have decided to break it off, but I didn't disagree with him." She rose a disbelieving brow. "Look, I knew that when we got together it was just for a little while. I mean this is our last year of high school. Everyone will be leaving before we know it, to go off and do their own things. I'm not saying that these relationships can't work out in the long run, but I think it's pretty rare. Edward's not an asshole here. I promise."

My words had the effect of calming her down, but from the look in Seth's eye I could tell he wasn't entirely convinced. Still, he didn't argue, so there was that.

"So what about that Ephraim kid?" Jess hedged, making my brows draw in.

"Jake? What about him?"

She shrugged, but a devious smile lit up her face.

"Well, you two seemed to hit it off after the game. And, I mean if you and Edward aren't together anymore…" she trailed off.

I couldn't help my eye roll.

"Okay there are many things wrong with that. First, Jake's an old friend, so yeah that's why we hit it off. Second, which is kinda related to the first, we had a fling a while back. So been there, done that. Third, I'm not interested in seeing anyone."

"Wait, wait! You and Jake used to date?" Seth's brows rose to his hairline. Jess's face pretty much mimicked his.

Of course they would get stuck on that one.

"Sorta. It was just a summer thing a few years ago. But again, not interested."

Jess looked skeptical.

"Girl, he is Hawt, with a capital H. How can you not be interested? And if you had a thing before, you could so have a thing again."

I laughed at her obvious concern for my sanity.

"Really, we tired it and it wasn't for us. I love him to pieces, but I promise neither of us are remotely interested in having a romantic relationship with each other. He actually has a really sweet girlfriend. I'm gonna get to meet her this weekend." I smiled brightly. I really was looking forward to that.

"You're excited to meet your Ex's girlfriend? Are you sure you're human?" Jess poked me gently, making me smirk.

"I've never had a test done, but I'm pretty sure."

Seth was shaking his head at us.

"I think I'm on Jess's side for this one. Won't it be weird? I mean if you guys used to bang, won't she at least feel a little threatened by you?"

It was something I hadn't really given much thought.

"I don't think so," I contemplated. "I mean Jake and I had this incredible friendship first, so when we started dating it never really felt like dating. I guess what I mean is, our friendship sort of outweighed everything else. I wasn't shy or nervous around him. And he wasn't like that around me. I didn't get butterflies or stay up late thinking about where we were headed. It was more like just two friends hanging out."

I paused thinking about how different it was when he found Nessie.

"When he met Nessie, it was totally different. An instant head over heels type of thing. I remembered he would call me and ask me what to do or say. It was so cute. I've just been so happy that he found someone that made him feel that special sort of excitement that comes with a real relationship."

"So it was never like that with you and him?" Jess asked curiously.

I smiled thinking about it.

"Not even close. Seriously, it wasn't remotely romantic. I'd just be like, hey wanna fuck? And then we'd chill and eat Cheetos afterwards."

Jess snorted a laugh.

"You did not!"

"Hey, I'd give my left nut for a girl that's down for fucking and Cheetos." Seth put in.

I couldn't help my chuckle.

"Is that a proposition?"

"Fuck no! The only time Cullen's kicked my ass is on the field, and I want to keep it that way."

I rolled my eyes.

"He dumped me, remember?"

But Seth was shaking his head.

"And when he realizes what an idiot he was for that, I don't wanna be the one standing between you two."

I threw my hands up and laughed.

"No worries. I'm taking myself off the market. Shaving is too much work anyways."

Jess giggled but nodded her head in agreement.

"I'm down for no-shave November if you are." She smiled.

"Cool. Two kooks with hairy koots." Jess nearly died with laughter, while Seth blushed deeply.

The rest of lunch was spent making jokes about not shaving our lady bits. Seth was bright red by the end of it. I'm pretty sure he straight up ran to his next class.

For my part the day passed easily enough.

Focusing on the work in front of me made the time go by much faster. That, and it kept my eyes from wandering. I wasn't sure I trusted myself in Mr. Danvers class yet, and thankfully we didn't have team writing assignments due anytime soon. Hopefully enough time would pass before then, that I could get through a conversation without wanting to run away crying.

That would be good.

I was fortunate enough to have only minimal contact with Edward throughout the week. We occasionally saw each other in the hallways, or class. When it happened, I forced myself to give him a polite smile before turning away. Pretending that I wasn't a mere inch from losing my cool.

I just kept telling myself it would get better with time. I just needed to be patient. And luckily, I had the weekend to look forward to. I'd get to see Jake and meet Nessie for the first time. It was the only real thing helping me get through the days.

And when that was over, I'd just have to find something else to occupy my mind.

…

"You're coming over right?"

I nearly laughed as I held the phone close to my ear.

"Jake, it's 8 am… on a Saturday."

"But you promised!" He whined on the other end.

"To come over, not that I'd be there this early." I teased. Little did he know, I had left nearly an hour ago and was about to be at his place.

"Ugh, can't you get up and just come over already? I knew I should have come to get you last night."

I suppressed my chuckle.

"Come on, let me sleep for like another hour at least. Then I'll head over." This was actually quite fun.

"Bella! Get your ass over here!"

I pulled into his driveway.

"Why don't you get your ass outside." I returned and honked my horn. I heard it echo through his end.

"You're here?!"

The line went dead, and he came barreling out of the house.

My truck door was opened and he was dragging me out in a hug before I even had a chance to say 'Hi'.

"Oh Jeeze. What did you have for breakfast that made you this energetic? No more sugar for Jakey."

But his hug was wonderful and I was glad he was so happy to see me.

"What? I've just been really excited to have you over." He grinned unabashedly

"I guess I can agree with that. I am pretty awesome."

He laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Nice prank by the way. Making me think it was gonna be hours before I saw you."

I grinned.

"Wasn't this better though? I know how much you like surprises."

He tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Enough of you. Where's Nessie? Is she here yet?"

"I see how it is. You don't want to see me, just my girlfriend."

I laughed again.

"Damn straight. She's prettier than you."

"How would you know? You've never seen her before?"

"Such an ego. I'm surprised Nessie hasn't beat it out of you yet."

"It's something I'm working on," A sweet voice called from behind us. I turned to see a petite girl with long auburn hair and eyes of dark chocolate. I could feel my eyes light up with excitement.

"You must be Nessie! I'm Bella." Admittedly, I may have attacked her with a hug.

Her surprise was momentary, but a happy laugh followed.

"It's nice to meet you too," she chuckled.

"Sorry, I've just been so stoked to meet you since Jake first mentioned your existence." I stood back to appraise her more. The loving looks she shared with Jake was all I needed to know about her.

"Okay so you have to tell me all about yourself. And I will supply all the dirt you could ever want to know about Jake." I winked, making Jake shake his head in disapproval.

"Oh that's a deal I can't say no to."

Jake was decidedly not happy.

On the tenth or maybe eleventh joke at his expense, he started to crack. He was enjoying it as much as we were, and I loved it.

"This was a terrible idea. If I had known all you were gonna do was poke fun, I never would have invited you over. I ought to take you home now." A single brow was raised in feigned disappointment.

"Too bad. You're going to have to live with us ganging up on you for the rest of your life. That's just how it is now."

Nessie giggled.

"She's right. We're basically best pals. You wouldn't deprive me of a friend, would you Jake?" She laid on the puppy dog eyes and boy was he a goner.

"You two are the worst. I'm getting a drink." He play stomped out of the room.

"Okay, I know I've been giving him a hard time, but I just wanna say how happy I am that y'all are together. And that you're cool with letting me hang out with y'all." I squeezed her hand warmly, hoping it conveyed all the things I wasn't sure how to put in words.

She tilted her head and grinned.

"You know, when Jake first told me that you guys used to date, I wasn't sure if I was going to like you." She admitted, making my brows shoot up.

Ut oh.

Was this the part where she told me to get lost?

I don't know what I would do if that happened.

Okay I did, I'd back off, but just the thought of that made my heart hurt. And it already hurt enough this week.

"Oh." I swallowed. "I can leave if you're uncomfortable." She was shaking her head and I stopped talking, afraid of what sort of nonsense I might start spouting.

"No. I do like you Bella. I just wasn't sure at first. I didn't see how you could have been with him and not still want that. Part of me was glad, because that meant I got my chance, but another part of me was just baffled you'd let him go."

I nodded, following her logic.

"Jake explained a lot of it to me before, but it wasn't until I saw you two together today, that I really got it. You act like siblings, and honestly its hard for me to imagine that anything romantic ever even happened. I know you were there for Jake at a time when he didn't have anyone else. And that meant so much to him. When I came into his life later, he would tell me all the time how amazing you were, and how much I would love you if we ever met. I wasn't sure then, but I understand now."

I would not cry. I would not cry.

"I can tell how much seeing him happy means to you. That it's the most important thing. And you've been really inclusive, not just sharing inside jokes, but letting me in and wanting me to be a part of your inner circle. And that means so much to me."

Nessie's eyes had gone a little misty, and so had mine.

"I'm just so glad you're a part of his life. And I'm glad I have the opportunity to be your friend."

Damn, was she trying to make me bawl like a baby?

Not trusting my voice, I pulled her in for a hug.

Seeing movement, I looked up to find Jake standing in the doorway with stupid smile on his face and unshed tears in his own eyes.

I pulled back and wiped the moisture from my face, then gave Nessie a smile.

"So, you guys have a pool?" Confused looks ensued. "Cause I'm all about the waterworks today."

My silly joke broke the tension of the tender moment.

"Well, we don't have a pool, but we do have a lake."

I could already feel myself perking up.

…

A few hours later, we found ourselves swimming around, pretending that the late October waters were not in fact freezing our asses off.

"You know this was a much better idea when I was still warm and dry." I chattered slightly as I bobbed around. Jake snickered.

"You're the one that suggested this." He laughed sitting on the dock.

"I know. But I didn't bring a bathing suit, and I don't have a change of clothes. I'm gonna freeze my poor tits off."

I had jumped in after only taking my jeans off. I'd felt leaving a t-shirt on was a little more decent. Not it just clung to me, making me feel colder somehow.

"Shame, they are quite lovely," Nessie commented, swimming lazily beside me. Apparently, the cold wasn't bothering her or Jake. Must be some sort of genetic thing.

"The guys should be here in a few. We'll build a fire so, as you say, you don't freeze your tits off."

I gave him the finger and splashed water in his direction.

The sounds of vehicles coming had me smiling though. A fire sounded amazing right about now.

"Look at that grin. You're having fantasies about fire aren't you."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're just jealous a fire gets me going better than you ever could."

It was Nessie that died with laughter. I grabbed her shoulders, afraid if I let go, she'd drown.

"Trying to kill my girlfriend Swan?" Jake dove in, grabbing my ankles to pull me under the water, away from the dock.

The thing was, it was so unexpected that I inhaled as I went under. I felt ice cold everywhere and was so disoriented I didn't know which way was up.

Fear and panic kicked in, and I fought my way to the surface.

"You almost drowned her!" I heard Nessie's voice, but I was too busy trying to breathe and keep myself above the water.

Someone grabbed at me, pulling me out of the water onto the dock. I rolled to my knees coughing and heaving, trying to catch my breath. Warm hands patted my back firmly to help push the water out of my lungs.

"When- I- can- breathe- you're- a- dead-man." I panted at Jake.

"This is the thanks I get for saving you?"

Only the voice didn't belong to Jake.

"Ed-ward?"

I looked up to find a drenched Edward looking down on me, just a hint of a smile on his face.

For a moment I contemplated that I might have died. Because the world wasn't making much sense.

I sat back on my feet trying to get my bearings. Jake was half propped up on the dock now, Nessie right beside him.

"Damn Bella, you weren't supposed to swallow honey." He gave me an apologetic smile.

"Never heard a guy say that before."

His face was shocked for about two seconds. And then Nessie started laughing again.

"And here I was all concerned I almost killed my best friend." He shook his head. I glowered at him.

"Best friend," I scoffed. "I'll murder you in your sleep."

He placed a hand over his apparently wounded heart.

"Aww, but I'd miss him." Nessie pouted, basically jumping up on Jake's back.

"Okay. For you then… I'll only maim."

"Very generous." Jake sneered, but Nessie's grin got bigger.

I shook my head and forced myself to look at Edward. He was watching us with a sort of quiet curiosity.

"Thanks for not letting me die since dipshit thought it would be fun to watch me inhale water."

Jake sighed loudly.

"It wasn't intentional." He grumbled.

"Mhmm, you're just mad because I'm better at pleasing your girlfriend than you are."

His mouth dropped open.

"I'm just saying I had her panting before you decided to drown me. And she did say she liked my rack. Seems like you were trying to get rid of the competition."

He was sputtering when Nessie started giggling.

"See, look at that. Pure delight." I pointed to the shit eating grin on Nessie's face. Jake narrowed his eyes before wrapping his hands around her, pulling her away from me.

"I knew I should have never introduced you two." He back paddled, towing Nessie further away. "Stay away from my woman Swan!" He shouted from the middle of the lake.

"Maybe if you focused more on keeping her pleasured, she wouldn't be so willing to stray!" I shouted back, well aware we were making a spectacle of ourselves to the rest of the group that had showed up.

Jake mumbled something, but I couldn't hear from so far away. I just chuckled in return.

Standing slowly, I became more aware of the fact that I wasn't exactly dressed properly. I looked up to Edward to thank him again, but my voice caught in my throat when I saw the heat in his eyes.

It took me a moment to gather my thoughts.

"Thanks again." I crossed my arms over my chest feeling more than a little exposed.

And nipply.

He looked down at my shirt and I tried to keep from blushing. Crossing my arms only had the effect of pushing my breasts up further. As if I was putting them on display.

Smooth Swan.

"I'm gonna go grab a towel." I paused looking at him. His own clothes were plastered against his skin, letting me see more of his chiseled muscles than my still broken heart could bear. "You want one too?"

He still hadn't said anything, but finally nodded.

Though I was self-conscious about not wearing pants, I forced myself to stride confidently to where we parked Jake's truck. It was on the far side of the camp, away from everyone else, but I wasn't worried. Edward might have broken my heart, but he'd never hurt me intentionally.

Shaking off my thoughts, I grabbed two of the towels from the front seat. I threw one at Edward, before walking around to the back.

My shirt was soaked, and I decided it would be best just to take it off. The towel was more than large enough to keep me covered until I borrowed a shirt from Jake.

Setting my towel temporarily to the side, I pulled off the cold wet garment, wringing it out for good measure, knowing it would dry better that way.

When I looked up to grab my towel again, Edward was frozen in place, watching me. And my traitorous body reacted to the intense look he was delivering.

"Sorry. Didn't realize you were still there." I reached for the towel but he snatched it away, advancing on me. My heart thundered in my chest, and I feared he could hear it. When he was just a breath away from my face, I looked up, knowing whatever emotions I was feeling were on full display.

"You're not dating Jacob." It was a statement. One that baffled me.

"No." I agreed with total confusion.

I had barely gotten the word out when his lips descended on mine. They were full, warm, utterly wonderful. My skin tingled where he touched, and my heart cried for it to never end. And I thought, if this would be the last time that we kissed, then I would make it count.

I let go.

Every drop of sorrow, excitement, need, anger.

Everything.

I let it all out.

When we finally broke apart for air, I felt an extraordinary sense of calm knowing I had said, if not with words, everything in my heart.

"Bella." His voice was breathless, pained. My eyes met his, wondering if he was about to break me all over again. "I've missed you so much."

I felt moisture collect in the corners of my eyes, but I willed them back.

His thumb traced my lip, and he kissed me again. Gently this time.

"Tell me to go if you don't want me. But I can't go another minute without you knowing the truth." I watched his eyes dart back and forth, shining as he looked at me. "I want you to be mine. No pretending. Just completely, and totally mine."

AN: Seemed like a good place to stop… y'all are gonna kill me… aren't you.

Thanks for all the love y'all! So glad so many people are excited about the story and where it's heading.