Ch 25: Too Late

~ Bella's POV~

Spending time with Jess and Ange was just what I needed. This weekend was shaping up to be one of the best I'd had in a while.

Not that I didn't love spending time with Edward, but there was just something special about getting to chat with your girls about any and everything.

We were just having so much fun.

"Okay so Ben update," I announced looking at Ange. She blushed deeply. "Okay now you really have to spill."

"Well," she trailed off a dreamy smile on her face.

Jess pinched her for making us wait.

"Ow! Fine." She couldn't stop grinning. "So, you know how he wanted to slow things down, after I, well, you know," she stammered making me and Jess give each other knowing looks.

"Right, right. No taking off clothes rules." She blushed again.

"Well, I was happy, really happy to go along with it. But then, well he wanted to touch me. And I thought that meant he was ready for more, but when I tried to do the same for him, he didn't want me to. I was just so confused."

I would be too. Hell, I was confused.

"Wait, so he wanted to pleasure you, but then not want you to return the favor?" Jess asked incredulous.

Ange nodded.

"Wow. I mean, good for him, but also like, what?"

I agreed with Jess.

"Yeah. I mean it's not like I didn't like him touching me, but I wasn't comfortable with it, if I couldn't touch him. It was just too… one sided?"

I could see that. It would drive me crazy if Edward didn't want me to touch him. I'd think something was wrong.

"I'm guessing since you don't look upset, that you talked about it?" I hedged. Ange nodded.

"Yeah. And this doesn't leave the room," she warned seriously. I worried briefly she was about to tell us some crazy secret about Ben's dick.

Oh shit, what if he was small?

My brain immediately remembered the rumor Victoria had tried to spread forever ago, and obviously I dismissed it because who fucking believed a word that came out of that serpent's mouth?

But maybe there was truth to it?

Not that it should matter, but it would explain why Ben didn't want Ange to touch him. God that made me so sad. A guy didn't have to be huge to pleasure a girl. As long as he was willing, there was plenty he could to with fingers, mouth, and toys to get her off.

Maybe Ange had told him that?

I brought my attention back to the present, waiting for Ange to continue.

"I don't know if you heard that shitty rumor that was going around at one point, but basically someone was saying he had a micropenis."

Oof. That was tough. That probably fucked with his ego hard.

"And?" Jess asked totally unfazed, making Ange smile. "What? I've been with a small guy before. I'm not saying it's easy to figure everything out, but we had a great time once he realized I didn't care."

I nodded in agreement.

"I totally agree with you, but that wasn't really the problem. He's not circumcised." She finally told us.

My confusion was at an all time high.

What the fuck did being circumcised or not have to do with this?

Ange sensed our confusion.

"It didn't make much sense to me either, but basically, when Ben was younger he was bullied at a different school when some guys in the locker room saw that he wasn't cut. It really took a toll on his self-esteem, and he thought that girls in general were grossed out or something."

What the fuck? Why were kids so mean?

"And then when he started going here, he wouldn't change in front of the other guys or take showers in the gym, so people thought maybe he had a small dick. Basically, it just made things worse, but I guess after a while people stopped talking about it."

Except that cunt Victoria.

"Anyways, when we started to get intimate, all his old insecurities came back, and he was worried how I'd react." Ange looked sad for a small moment. "I just hated that it happened like that. Because I wouldn't have cared. I really like him, and how he makes me feel in general."

"But everything's okay now?" I asked genuinely concerned.

"Yeah. When he started pulling back again, I brought up the rumor. I just thought maybe he was too embarrassed to talk about it and if I brought it up that maybe it wouldn't be so bad?" she blushed. "It was horrible at first. I could tell I caught him off guard, but then I just told him everything I told you guys. That it didn't matter, that I wanted to pleasure him and no matter what the issue was we would make it work."

God, Ange was such a sweetie. Ben better take good fucking care of her, or he would have no dick left to worry about.

"Then what happened!" Jess begged making Ange laugh and blush again.

"We talked for a while about everything. All the stuff I told you guys. And I guess it was just a really cathartic experience for him, because afterwards things got… heated." She was blushing so badly her scalp was red.

"Oh my god! Did you fuck?" Jess asked making me drop my head in my hands. I was usually more delicate in asking those types of questions to Ange.

"It's okay Ange. You don't have to answer that," I gave Jess a pointed look.

Angela shook her head.

"No, it's okay. It's kinda cool and weird that you care about my sex life," she laughed. "We haven't had sex yet, but we did go a lot further."

"Like, gave him head further?" Jess guessed with a grin. I didn't have time to tell Jess to back off before Ange answered.

"Yes."

Wait, what?

I looked at her stunned.

"Really?" I was so happy for her. It was a big milestone to be comfortable enough for that.

"Yeah. I mean it just felt right at the time. I was only gonna give him a hand job, but then he wanted to… lick me. And it was so amazing that I wanted him to feel that too."

She really was a sweetheart.

"You go girl!" Jess gave her a big high five.

"I know it's kinda silly, and that you guys have already had lots of sex so this is nothing compared to that. It's just been really awesome." Her smile was shy.

"Oh Ange, just because we have more experience doesn't mean what you're going through is silly. You should feel awesome and excited. This is a special time," I told her honestly. She could have had her first kiss and it would be just as valid to be over the moon about.

"Thanks B."

Jess nudged me with a small grin.

"Okay, now your turn!" She exclaimed.

My look was one of confusion.

"Come on Bella. You and Edward were together, then broken up, now back together. You gotta dish on that sweetheart." Jess told me waiting expectantly. Ange looked curious as well, we hadn't talked about everything that happened yet.

But it was going to be more difficult to explain unless I told Jess the whole truth, which I realized I wanted to.

"Okay, so Ange already knows, but the truth is Edward and I weren't really dating the first time around."

Jess's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in befuddlement.

"Umm, what?"

So I told her about the agreement I had with him, because of Mike and everything that happened.

"Holy shit. That's crazy Bella," Jess exclaimed. "But like you really liked him. And he really liked you too. So why did y'all break up and not just decide to stop pretending to each other?"

It was slightly harder to explain.

"It was a combination of a bunch of different things. But basically, he thought I was still hung up on Jacob, and I had convinced myself that Edward wasn't actually interested in dating me. So when he broke it off, I thought it was because he didn't want me."

My honest answer made Jess clutch her chest with a pained expression on her face.

"Fuck. That's terrible Bella. God, I can't imagine how much that must have hurt." She reached out a hand to grab mine with a tight squeeze. "But y'all are okay now right?"

I nodded.

"Yeah. Between Seth and Jacob's meddling, we wound up talking and getting together for real over the weekend."

"Wow," Jess grinned. "I'm glad it worked out. And thanks for telling me. I like that you guys have included me into your group. It's really nice having girlfriend I can chat with."

Ange and I gave each other a look, before we immediately grabbed Jess in a big hug.

"You guys!" she laughed as we squeezed her tightly.

"You can hang with us anytime Jess," Ange told her happily. "We really like you too."

Jess's eyes watered with happy tears.

"Okay, enough of the mushy stuff," I cut in after a few moments. "Who wants to make penis cookies?"

Simultaneous grins was the returning answer.

…

The rest of the weekend passed more quickly than I would have liked. Jess, Ange, and I really bonded, and we all decided to spend one weekend a month together moving forward.

I was looking forward to that.

As I pulled into the drive, I was glad to be back home, but also more than a little nervous about having dinner with the Cullen's tonight.

I just wasn't sure what to expect.

Would Esme want to grill me about my relationship with her son? Or just get to know me better?

It seemed like the latter based on our conversation the other morning, but then again, I was dating her son. Surely she wanted to know if I was good enough for him?

I sighed, knowing I was going to give myself a headache if I kept thinking about it. So instead I hopped out of the car and went inside, determined to make an awesome dessert and put my best foot forward tonight.

I hadn't quite made it to the front door when Edward called my name from across the yard.

"Hey," I smiled as he joined me on the porch. Instead of responding he went straight in for a kiss. It was long, sensual, and made me ache in all the right places.

"Hey," he said finally pulling back. "I missed you."

The admission was unexpected, but wholly welcome.

"I missed you too."

I really did. Going the whole weekend without seeing him had been difficult. We'd texted of course, but I tried to keep it light and only occasional, as the point was for me to spend time with the girls, and not be on my phone the whole time.

"Did you have a good time?" He bushed my cheek with the back of his hand, watching me intently.

"I did. It was really nice. I missed hanging out with Ange, and Jess was there too."

He gave me a small but happy smile.

"Good. I had a good time with Emmett too. I'm glad you suggested we hang out with our other friends." He leaned in to kiss my neck. "But damn am I glad you're back."

I shivered at the contact of his teeth on my shoulder.

"Edward. Someone could see," my breathing hitched as his hands cupped my breast while he nibbled on my collarbone.

"I don't care."

He pushed me up against the door, and I felt his body everywhere.

God that felt nice.

"But you could invite me in if it bothers you." He pulled back to look at my eyes when he asked.

I had no idea if or when my dad would be home, but since it was only around four, I imagined we'd be safe to go in. And boy did I want to invite him in.

I answered by turning to open the door, motioning for him to walk inside. I had barely shut the door behind me when Edward scooped me up and carried me upstairs to my room.

He was kissing me sweetly, but the tension in his body told me he was just waiting to pounce.

I groaned when the pressure of his body pushed into me as we landed on my bed. His lips were everywhere, making me tingle from head to toe.

He made quick work of the buttons on my shirt, groaning contentedly when it fell away leaving most of my flesh exposed.

"Fuck you look good enough to eat." Then he buried his head between my breasts squeezing them roughly, making me cry out in pleasure. "Fuck, I love hearing you."

I cried out again when he pinched my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling the sensitive bud around through the cloth of my bra until I was thrashing with want.

"Touch me!" I moaned, needing his skin on mine. My bra was pushed aside immediately followed by his hot mouth clamping down. "Fuck!"

My hips bucked against his seeking out relief from the tension building between my legs. And my hands were pulling at him, trying to remove his shirt, needing all of him touching all of me.

"So impatient," he chuckled, but obliged me by pulling the offending garment over his head. His pants followed shortly after.

His hands explored every curve while his mouth taunted me. It took only moments to turn me into a shaking mass of need.

God how I wanted him.

"Edward, please," I begged, rubbing up against him, signaling with my body exactly what I wanted. His eyes darkened considerably at my plea.

Deft fingers found their way into my jeans and the beneath the cloth of my panties. Slipping between the folds of heat, he found me wet and waiting.

"You're soaked," he whispered hoarsely while his fingers stroked me into oblivion. It was too much and yet not enough. I needed him.

"I need you." My fevered words made him shiver. I could see he too, needed me. "Condom, nightstand."

He quickly obliged.

We locked eyes as he slid into me, filling me completely. My breath caught with pleasure.

He tortured us both by keeping the strokes slow and even. I could feel my orgasm building with every thrust. I was so close.

"Edward," I panted his name while pushing up against him, seeking deeper contact. When he ground his hips into me roughly, my entire body reacted by arching back and exploding from the sensation.

I had barely registered my own orgasm when Edward found his.

There was something decidedly hot about watching his restraint shatter and feeling him pulse inside of me.

His head nestled into the crook of my neck kissing me lightly, while he held himself up on his elbows.

"Thanks," he murmured, nuzzling me sweetly.

I shifted my head to look at him curiously. He relaxed his body, cuddling into my side and watched me contentedly.

"Why are you thanking me?" I finally asked.

"For inviting me in." His gaze was tender, and I realized it more than just sex he was talking about.

I chose to snuggle into him as way of response.

He held me for a what felt like forever. But a quick glance at my clock told me we should be getting up.

"Leaving me?" He asked as I sat up slowly.

"Only for a little while."

His pout was so cute it made me laugh.

"I still need to run to the store to grab stuff for dessert and get ready before I'm supposed to be over at your place in an hour."

He sat up kissing my still naked shoulder.

The warmth of his lips made me tingle. I tried not to let it distract me.

"Plus, you need a shower now."

He sighed deeply but nodded his head.

"Fine. But if you aren't over in an hour, I'm coming back for you." He warned.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

His smile was warm, and he kissed me again. Slowly and tenderly this time.

When he finally left, I was already missing him, but I had too much to do to be distracted.

So I took a quick shower, and headed to the store grabbing everything I needed as quickly as I could. It was already just past five-thirty.

I sent Edward a quick text letting him know I'd be running late. Thankfully, he let me know Esme was running behind too, and told me not to rush since dinner wouldn't be ready until closer to six-thirty.

What a relief!

When my phone rang on the seat beside me, I smiled. Edward was probably calling to tell me to hurry up anyways.

"Hey," I answered a smile in my tone.

"Uh, hey Bella. It's Billy."

My stomach dropped. This couldn't be happening. Not tonight.

"Billy, hi," I mumbled dumbly, hoping this wasn't what I thought it was.

"Sorry Bella. I hate to bother you sweetie. But do you think you could come Charlie?"

Dammit.

This would happen when I had somewhere I needed to be.

"Of course. I'll head your way now. It'll be about thirty minutes." I looked at the clock angrily, knowing even with the extra time I'd still be pushing it.

"Thanks Bella."

I held back the tears of frustration as I ended the call. Taking deep breaths, I attempted to calm myself.

This wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

I would pick him up, take his drunk ass home, and then go over to Edward's. It didn't have to be complicated. I didn't have to baby sit him.

I hoped I wasn't lying to myself.

I made it to Billy's in record time, however it mattered little, because dad wasn't in the mood to leave. When we'd finally coaxed dad into my truck, and I managed to get on the road, my dashboard clock read six-seventeen.

There was no way I was going to make it. I still had another twenty-minute drive back and needed to get dad inside.

Even if I managed to do all of that, there was no way I'd be able to pretend that everything was fine when it really wasn't.

Hating myself for what I was about to do, I picked up my phone to call Edward.

Only, when I went to dial his number, my phone was out of service.

"Great. Just freaking great." I mumbled to myself angrily. I was going to be beyond late, and I couldn't even let Edward know because I was in the middle of freaking no-where with no service.

And, I noticed suddenly, because were getting late into fall, it was already getting dark and rain clouds were closing in.

When the first patter of raindrops hit my windshield I clenched my teeth.

Feeling pissed, I slammed my fist on the steering wheel with little more force than necessary. Apparently with enough force to startle dad out of his half-sleep.

"Bella?" he groaned clutching his head.

I was too frustrated to feel bad for him.

"Yeah dad?" thankfully my tone was nicer than I felt.

"You okay?"

No. I was not okay. I was angry, and hurt, and I just hated all of this.

But I couldn't tell him that.

"I'm fine." I paused for a moment. "Do you feel bad? I can roll the window down."

His nod was small, so even though it was already starting to rain a little harder, I rolled the window down.

He was quiet long enough that I figured he'd fallen back asleep, so I was startled when he spoke.

"I'm sorry you had to come get me." I was shocked he sounded so sober. My eyes cut towards him.

"It's better than drunk driving."

I saw his wince, but he didn't say anything.

I clenched the steering wheel hard, feeling the burn of tears prick my eyes.

Why did it have to be like this? He had to know how unfair all of this was to me, right? He wasn't stupid.

Edward's words about confronting my dad came back to me. And suddenly I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to tell him everything I had been bottling up for so long.

"Why do you do this?" I asked pain lacing my voice.

His head whipped towards me.

"Why do you drown yourself in booze and expect me to pick up the pieces?"

I couldn't keep the tortured sound out of my tone.

His mouth opened, but no words came out.

It made me hurt, and furious.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you kill yourself like this? To know that how you feel about her means more than how you feel about me?"

Tears formed in his eyes, as they rolled down my face.

Why wasn't I enough for him?

"Bell-"

I shook my head cutting him off.

"You're supposed to be there for me. I should be the stupid teenager getting into trouble and have to have her father come pick her up. You should be getting mad about me being home late. You should be grilling me about the boy I'm dating. Telling me to keep my grades up. God just anything."

How could he not see that none of this was okay?

Why was it that he expected me to do this?

I drew in a ragged breath.

"But I'm the one who constantly has to be the adult. I'm trying so hard and you just keep hurting me over and over. But you don't care, do you? All you care about is-"

My words were cut off as I realized too late there was a deer in the road.

And suddenly it was like everything happened in slow motion.

Instinct made me swerve.

The wet pavement made us slide.

A bump in the road rolled the truck.

A tree stopped us.

My ears were ringing badly, and my eyes couldn't focus. I felt disoriented, and pain all over my body.

It took me a long moment to figure out my seatbelt was holding me in place in the air, and my dad was gone.

The windows were shattered, glass was everywhere.

Only the glow of my headlights shined, illuminating the trees on the side of the road.

"Dad?" My voice was strange to my own ears, a croaky whisper more than anything else.

My head was spinning, but I knew I had to move.

Carefully as I could, I opened my door to see the truck had landed in a ditch, with the driver's side up.

Pulling myself carefully to the edge I eased out of the cab and pushed myself off to the land on the side of the ditch.

I cried out on impact, pain radiating up my leg.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I must have broken it, but all I could think about was my dad laying in the middle of the road.

I crawled towards him, praying he was still alive. He couldn't be gone. He just couldn't

When I finally made it close, I could see his chest moving up and down.

Relief flooded through me.

He was just unconscious. He was alive. We would okay.

But we needed help.

For moment I panicked, until I remembered I had placed my cell back in my pocket earlier.

Please be there.

The lump in my pants confirmed it was.

With shaky hands I pulled it out, trying my best to focus on the screen. Everything was getting so blurry now, my head felt so foggy.

I dialed the number and praised whatever creator was listening that it seemed to have service.

"If you are not on your way, I swear I'm gonna be pissed."

The annoyed voice said before I could even say hi.

"Ed-ward," my voice cracked.

"Bella?" Panic was in his tone now, as he realized something was wrong. "Where are you, what happened?"

"Deer, tree," I tried to formulate a sentence, but everything was so fuzzy.

He must have understood though, because I heard him curse and shout for his dad.

"Ed-" I tried speaking again, "help."

"It's okay Bella. Stay with me. Where are you?"

I knew this was important. This is how we would get help. I pushed back against the encroaching blackness.

Shit, where was I? I pushed myself to think.

"17. Ebe-nezer." It took so much effort to keep my eyes open. I pressed a hand to my head, shocked to feel warm sticky liquid on my fingertips.

Pulling my hand back I could see the red fluid.

"Blood?"

Oh no.

"Bella!"

The voice was so faint.

I couldn't focus.

Everything was spinning, and I felt that I just needed to close my eyes.

That it would make everything better.

Yes. Just a quick nap.

And everything went black.

AN: Poor Bella can't catch a break… maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks for all the love and support guys! Hope you are enjoying as usual