This is a very important note, so I hope that people will read it. Even if they don't normally read the notes. I'm sure that you know that it has taken me a long times over the last few months to up-date. I have gone into the reasons for this a lot, almost every chapter, because I know how annoying it can be when you are reading a story and it stops, and you don't know if it over or a break or what.
The reason I am writing all of this is to say that I very strongly considering taking a break from writing for a few months. As I said before I have the time now to up-date at the very least once a week, but only if people want to read the story. I wrote this in the notes for the last episode about a week ago. So I know it seems odd to be saying this now, but it is very clear that there is not much of an interest in the story. I understand that this may seem very self indulgent, and it is alos very sad and pathetic. It is just that I am dyslexic, I was told that I would never be able to really write much, so being able to do this, having written so mush, is something that I am very proud of. I am proud of the story, and I want to share it with other people that may be interested. As the story has gone on I have liked it more, I have been able to write the stuff I was working towards, things have started to pay off, however fewer people are reading and fewer people are reviewing. As much as I love writing the story, it is getting feedback of any kind that I like the most. It helps me plan thinks out, encourages me to go on, and helps me fix things that aren't working and just make it better. This will sound very sad, but I liked that kind of feedback as it feels like having a conversation about the story. So I guess I was spoiled, I had the benefit of getting great feedback from people. It went into great detail about the story, lines, call-backs to the show, gave me ideas, and just made me love writing the story more, as I wanted to get the next chapter up as fast as I could to hear what they all had to say about the newest part.
I understand that it is along story and that there are a million more important things in life than this little story. There is for me to, I have just lost some of my enjoyment in writing it now. I do still enjoy writing it, I just feel like there is little point to it now. I just don't like the idea of writing and posting chapters that have important thing happening in them, stuff that I have wanted to write for a long time and then feel like it was a waist as no one reed it.
So to get back to the point, I am thinking of taking a break. I will finish the story at some point; it just might take a little longer. Thou to be fair it is taking a long time now. Therefore depending on how the reader and feedback go on this chapter goes I will take a break. I want to make it very clear that I don't want this to be seen as blackmailing or guilting people into doing anything they don't want to. I just don't want to get to a point when I'm not enjoying writing anymore. I am aware that this is being very dramatic, but as a sixteen year old, I think I can be forgiven for being dramatic. I feel I should also say that if there is for some reason more people just reading this chapter that the last, and there is more feedback, then I will do another chapter rather than take a break. I'm saying this so I won't be seen to be going back on my word. The point is that if more people read or review than I will up-date. It is up to you. I should also point out that I am also rewriting a sroty of mine. I will not be taking a break for that story. As I don't really expect to get many readers or feedback for it. I am more proud and interested in this one. That is why the lack of interest in it now hurts.
I like now respond the two reviews. The first one is a response to the question about what I think about the last episode, I got in a PM. So if you don't want spoilers for the last episode, I wouldn't read it.
DaveMc67. Thank you for your PM. It was much the same as what I thought it would be. I didn't find the Arthur, Merlin ending sad. As I believe that it was what they deserved. They I think have gotten away with a lot over the coruse of the show. So it was nice that that caught up with them. It was their actions, mistakes that got them there no one else's. I would have liked them to see, admitted to this but over all I was pleased with their ending. I'm sure it's not surprising but I didn't like Morgana's ending. I don't think she should get a happy ending; she had done too much harm for that. However I think she has suffered enough for that she has done, and deserved to find a little peace at the end. Living peacefully with those with magic, having it being returned, going to Avalon something like that. I'm not even going to start on Gwen at the end, it is just wrong wrong wrong. I have nothing against her really, it just feels like they couldn't figure out what to do with her, and that seemed like the only thing to do. There are things from it that maybe in the ending of this story, but a lot will be different.
To everyone, I would love to hear what you think of the shows ending.
LightningBolt21. Happy late birthday, hope you had a good one. Merry Christmas too. I like that part too, but I can't really take the credit for it. I got it form the pilot of the show firefly, a great show. I don't want to repeat myself and bore everyone, so some of what I thought of the ending is in the response above. Simply I thought it was the right ending for Arthur and Merlin, it was fitting and the right end for their journey. Morgana and Gwen, I was not happy with. Also Mordred, and Gwaine. Even though I saw it coming. I liked that the first three seasons did their own version of the story. Then the next two were more like the story. Which was a nice way of saying, that it doesn't matter where they star, it will all end the same way. The last episode ruined that. I went back to doing their own version, which I though was odd. Don't know if that makes sense.
Serenityskywalker. I feel bad about that part now. I have had a few negative comments about Arthur due to it. Thank you.
There are a few songs I thought fit with this chapter. Just like you by three days grace, works for the Merlin Morgana part. For the Arthur part misère mani by Eric levi this one works for the Merlin Morgan part too. I saw I video on YouTube to it. It was all Arthur, Merlin and Morgana. I always wanted to see more of the three of them as group.
If you have any other ideas for songs, for this or any other part I would love to hear them.
The full moon hung high in the sky, like it was going to be the only witness to the conversation between the two people who possessed the greatest possibility of affecting the future of Camelot and Albion. Steeping out into a clearing, Morgana fell into the pool of moonlight. Merlin stopped on the edge of the clearing. He watched her walk ahead of him. The moonlight made her hair shin like silk, and it cast odd shadows over the black coat she wore. It looked so strange, unreal, the image in-front of him. He didn't trust himself to step into the clearing till he was knew more about what she was planning.
As if reading his mind, when she reached the centre of the clearing, she turned her head back to face him. "Not scared are you."
Her face fell into a cold grin. Her pale skin took on a glow in the centre of the pool of moonlight. It all looked so unnatural. She looked to him like some kind of a spirit. Not real at all, so unnatural. As she turned to fully face him, her eyes stayed locked onto his. It was like she was channelling him, baiting him to move, to act. Like he was being drawn forward. Forward into her whatever she was planning. Slowly he walked towards her. stepping into the faint light.
"What is this all about." His voice was strong and steady, caring over the night air. "I thought we where allies, at least,"
"We are." Morgana agreed more easily then Merlin expected.
"Then why."
Her face seemed to soften a little. "You said I should keep all my anger for you."
Suddenly it seemed to click into palace for Merlin. Morgana had been ruled by her anger and hate for so long, but that had changed before she left Camelot. She, they seemed to be be moving forward. at lest he hoped so. While it had lessened when he crossed paths with her over the green knight, it was still there. Something had happened to her after she left Camelot that pulled her back to were she had been before she left. Whatever it was it effected her still. She had been unable to deal with it directly and needed something, someone to take all of her anger out on. He was the best target, he could take whatever she threw at him, he had done before. while it saddened him to she her still unable to move past her anger, even when he knew she wanted to. He was however glad that she was choosing to focus it in one direction. Even if that direction was toward him.
"So you're want to try and kill me." He joked.
Her head lowered, as she laughed softly. "Oh no, I'm not going to make it that easy for you."
"Then what do you want."
Her head rose up. "Revenge." The second the word left her lips, her eyes flashed gold. He was thrown back to the edge of the clearing.
The fire was almost burnt out, but still Arthur sat by it. Watching the flames dance in-front of him. They reflected back into his bright blue eyes. He could feel it, only a little, but it was still there, all around him, magic. There was an energy to this place, the people in it. It was strongly familiar, from a long time ago, what seemed like another life.
It reminded him of Morgana. He had always felt an energy from her. He thought it was her restlessness. Hating being forced to stay in the one place, not being able to go with him on hunts. Never really allowed to train as he did, though she was as good as him. Not that he would ever admit to that. Especially not to her. Feeling like she was never listened to. Now he knew it was her magic.
To his surprise this energy that surrounded him was not wholly unpleasant. There was a warmth to it, a comforting feeling. There was also an uncertainty to it, like it could change in an Instinet. Turn form warmth and comfort to cold and emptiness. That was what really scared him the most, made him the most nervous, uneasy, how quickly it could change without any warning.
He had seen it in Morgana. How quickly and unexpectedly she had changed. Gone form the compassionate, empathic person he had grown up with. Admired, for her ability to always do what she believed was right. Turning into a cold, empty shell that thought only for herself and those that saw things as she did. It was like she had become someone completely different but he knew better. What never changed was her stubbornness to do what she believed was right. She was just more aggressive about it now. So maybe magic, in had a similar core that didn't change. That core however seemed to be one of neutrality.
Morgana walked slowly towards the fallen warlock. His eyes opened, watched her get closer. Her face didn't show any of the anger or satisfaction he would have expected. Merlin would not underestimate her though. Stopping when she reached him, she looked down at him as he lay like a heap at her feet. His face was turned away from her, but she saw his chest rising and falling.
"Come now, I went easy on you" The mocking tone of her voice held no real hate behind it. "But only at first."
"What is this really about Morgana." He said as he pulled himself to his feet.
"Honestly Merlin, I'm disappointed. I thought when you said, to save take my anger for you, that you would at least put up a fight." Her right wrist rotated around slowly, as Merlin felt his right arm twisted behind his back. "Are you just letting me hurt you because you feel guilty ." Her eyes flashed. Merlin felt a powerful blow to his gut. "Or are you relay that weak. The mighty Emrys. Beaten so easily."
Before she had the chance to lash out again, Merlin's eyes flashed a bright gold. In a second a powerful force crashed over her. Sending the witch back to the centre of the clearing in the pool of bright moonlight.
"Neither."
Arthur felt Aglain taking a seat on the log next to him, but he didn't turn his head to look at the older man. He choose to stay engrossed in the fire before him, but he had to say something. "I am sorry for what my father has done to the druid people."
"Just the druid people." Arthur quickly turned his head to face Aglain. Surprised that his genuine apology was meant with such flatness. "Sorry to be so blunt, but it is the truth."
"I have lost count of the number of times my life, and the lives of people I care about, the people of Camelot have been in danger. Due to magic." His voice rose a little as he spoke. "Sorry. I cannot change what I have seen."
Aglain nodded his head. "No you cannot. Any more than I or others like me, your sister. Can choose our gifts."
"Gifts."
"Yes Gifts."
"Sorry…I just…."
"You have seen the harm that magic can do." Arthur nodded. "But that's not all you have seen is it Prince Arthur. You have seen it heal and save lives. What is that if not a gift."
Arthur had an answer ready, but he couldn't get the words out. His gaze once again drifted back to the dying fire. He felt Aglain relax a little next to him, as he too turned his attention to the fire. It was now all but burnt out. A word that he thought he had heard before, but could not say even if he tried to was spoken and the fire burst into life again.
"It can also keep you warm."
Arthur smiled, and left himself relax a little too.
Merlin watched her groan, and pull herself up. He didn't move towards her. He knew better than to move towards her. She would only lash out, and they would be back to where they started.
"What do you want Morgana." He sounded annoyed and frustrated, lifting his arms as he spoke.
"I told you revenge."
"On me." He sounded hurt but resigned.
"Not only you." She admitted.
He shook his head and turned from her. "What will that get you. More people dead. Is that really what you want."
She stepped towards him. "Of course not." She stopped again. "Is it what you want."
"What." He sound round to face her again.
"How many have you killed. Just to save one man…..can one man be worth that." She was trying to goad him, he knew but it still cut.
"Shut up." Merlin warned.
"All those lives." She went on ignoring his warning.
"Morgana." He tried again.
"Gone."
"you are in no position to judge me." He finally shaped back.
"Of course not. I'm merely pointing out a fact." Morgana said enjoying getting a reaction from him.
He lowered his head. Couldn't stand to look at her. She was right after all. All those gone and for what. Arthur was not king, and nothing had changed. At times the great future he was promised seemed like it was still as far away, out of reach as it had been when he was first told of it. It had to be worth it, he had to make it worth it. For all of them as well.
"I want to understand." Arthur spoke after a few minutes of silence.
Aglain nodded, then lifted his head to the sky. The stars seemed brighter than he had seen them in a very long time. "That is no easy task." Arthur tilted his head to look at him. "There are those that devote their whole lives to understanding the ways of the old religion. Only a select few ever fully do."
"Who are they, not druids."
"No. prissiest and priestesses mainly."
Arthurs moved head moved to face ahead of him. "Like Morgana."
"She is one of the few alive who have studied the old ways. One of a very small few." A deep sadness clear in his voice.
Arthur smiled a little. "She always was to smart for her own good." He lifted his head to look up at the stars.
Merlin lifted his head, and locked his eyes onto hers. "Has it been worth it. Has all the pain you have caused been worth it."
"It could have all been done with, been better if only you had-"
"Trusted you. You never gave me reason to. You tried to kill Uther, after Gwen's father was killed. As far back as then, you had hate in your heart."
She scoffed. "Does that really surprise you." He shook his head. "I never had a chance. Destined to be the one that fails. The one that can't be trusted. I suppose saving your life, Arthur's, Gwen's. that wasn't reason enough was it. You would all have died long ago if I had not acted."
"I know. It doesn't have to be that way. We are one same side. We are allies." In her eyes he saw a flash of pain. She hid it well, always had, but it was there. "What happened to you Morgana." He saw her role her eyes. how many times had he or others asked her that question, or one very like it. "Something happened to you when you left Camelot, before you were engaged to King Lot. What was it."
She shook her head as she took a few steps back. "That is not important."
"I think it is." He moved towards her. "I think that is why we're here."
She had gotten under his skin, as she always seemed to do it was his turn to pay her back in kind. "I think something happened to you. Something you don't want to talk about. Something that made you so bent on revenge."
She tried to scoff again, but it came out sounding forced. "Would something else have to happen for me to want revenge."
He nodded. "You know you will fail. If you try and hurt Arthur or Camelot, I will stop you."
"Of course. Fate is on your side after all." She turned away from him.
"You have chosen to hold that anger back, till you have a safe target. " Morgana moved to step back from him, but Merlin moved forward. Keeping her close. "You don't want revenge."
"Don't I." Morgana questioned unconvinced.
"Not at any cost, not anymore. That's why you only lash out at me."
Morgana couldn't deny what he said. That didn't mean she wanted to admit it to herself, let along Merlin.
"You don't have to fight all the time." He spoke gently, as he took a step closer to her.
Her laughter started off low, but quickly grew. "How naïve you are." Her head shout up. He only caught the shortest of glimpse of her gold eyes, before he was thrown back.
The last few tents that had had lights still burning in them had now been put out. Letting the stars in the sky shine even brighter than they had been. It was only when he was out of the city like this, that Arthur felt the vastness of the kingdom he would one day soon rule over. Also how tiny it was. It seemed so tiny, insignificant in the grand scheme of things. When you looked into the vastness of the sky above. It seemed too small it could be no bigger than a grain of sand in the expanse of the whole world. Yet it was, when all was said and done the most important thing to him. The thing that he would give his life to protect. The only other thing he felt that strongly about was miles away. How much of this protective feeling for Camelot was truly how he felt, and how much was what he had been conditioned to feel, he didn't know. Deciding long ago that it was better off in the long run not to know.
"Do you truly hate me. What I am."
Aglain turned to the face the prince. He studied his face before answering. "Why do you think I hate you."
"I am the son of the man that has killed your kind. Outlawed your way of life. I do not blame your kind for hating mine."
"And in return you hate us." Arthur did a very good job of stopping any emotion form showing on his face. "That is accepting that we are as different as you think."
"Aren't we."
"Maybe We are…I see a lot of your sister in you." The prince's head quickly turned to face Aglain. "You are both equally determined. Have strong ideas about what you believe is right." Arthur slowly turned his head away again.
"It is just unfortunate that we are on opposite sides then."
"It is most unfortunate." Aglain agreed. "Imagine what you could do if you worked together."
Arthur was quite for a while. Taking in all that was said. That he knew to be true. "I know that we are all people. All are the same underneath. All feel pain. I just see the differences so clearly. All of the things that make it so hard to….work together."
"Maybe you are not looking hard enough."
He wanted to ask how much harder he had to look. How much effort he was expected to put into trying to find a way to coexist with people who could kill with such little effort. People that's "Gift" killed his mother and broke his father. There were times when the weight of all the expectations placed on him seemed to be so great that it would crush him. No matter what he did, he would be letting someone down. There was no road he could take without making an enemy.
"Was it all a lie…a way to lure me here…so you could try and kill me." He spoke while he pulled himself to his feet. Despite what he said, he knew she was going easy on him. She could knock him out with one stunning spell if she wanted to. Then again he could do the same to her. They were both holding back, because saying what they had to was more important. For now.
"What makes you say that. I already told you. I'm not going to make it that easy for you."
"But it was still a lie. You don't want to move past all of your hate, bitterness."
She didn't answer. She just stood still staring him down, as the night air moved through her hair, as well as the arms and back of her coat. He had seen her look intimidating before, but this was different. He too took on a more intimidating appearance once he had pulled himself to his full height. It was impossible for Merlin to see in the moonlight, but Morgana's face, for a second faltered.
"That was not a lie. You telling me that I could trust you that was a lie."
Her hand rose, but so did his. The spells speed forward before clashing into each other, cancelling each other out. A strong gust of wind was all that was achieved for all their effort. Each was forced back a few steps, but recovered quickly.
"No it wasn't." Merlin yelled across the space between them.
"So I could trust you to tell me what I needed to know, could I." she yelled back.
"I already have. This, whatever you are planning will never work. That is all you need to know. You will not hurt my friends. I will not let you. Arthur is the once and future king. There is nothing you can do to change that." He took a few steps towards her. "You have to accept that. Not even the last high priestess of the triple goddess can chance destiny."
"You underestimate me."
Merlin shock his head, he would never underestimate her power or determination.
"I have tried…..Don't you think I've tried."
"Freya." Morgana said in a low voice he only just heard on the wind. "You would have given it all up for her. Wouldn't you." She sounded genuinely sympathetic." But destiny had other plans."
"Don't, not one more word." Merlin warned.
"Arthur killed her." Morgana pressed on, hoping for a reaction.
"Don't."
Still she went on. "Aren't you even a little curious. Which of us is stronger."
These words were followed by words of a different langue. From behind her many thick fallen branches lifted into the air and speed towards him.
"I told you not to underestimate me."
Yelling loudly over the rush weapons heading for him, Merlin lifted his hand out in-front of him. It looked like a small tornado grew out of the palm of his open hand. Growing in size and length as it speed forward. Clashing with Morgana's incoming attack. The branches were devoured by the funnel of racing air. Morgana clenched her hands tightly as they hung by her side.
"Don't make that mistake yourself." He yelled.
The cocky grin on his face was cut short as the tornado grew to difficult to control. The branches being thrown about inside made it hard to keep its shape. Finally he had to give up. Lowering his hand he ended the spell. Having nothing to hold them back the branches flew across the clearing in different directions. Morgana bent her knees, covering her head with her hand. Merlin didn't duck but moved back to the edge of the clearing out of range. He walked till backed into a tree.
"You carry a great weight with you…..but you are not alone in that."
It was no surprise to Aglain that Merlin had magic, he did not have to be told. The weight he carried was surprising though. Nor had he had to be told about Morgana's magic. He felt it even before he saw her. It was that feeling that lead him to her, and it was a good thing that that was the case. When he saw her again less than a month ago, he didn't know it was her at first. She looked the same, yet different. It was again her magic he noticed first. It was so much more powerful than before. To have grown so much in such a short time was almost unheard off, unnatural. He had known she had the potential to be this powerful. He had just thought it would have taken years for her to achieve. The boy, Merlin's raw power exceeded hers, but it was clear he didn't have a precise skill with it. It was impossible to tell who was stronger. They were so different. unstoppable force meeting a unmovable object.
As different as fire and ice.
He spoke one word as he strode back into the clearing. He had had enough of his. A bright stream of burning fire raced forward form his hand.
It only took Morgana one word too, to send a wave a freezing ice, made up of the water from the grass, towards him.
Fire and ice clashed in the clearing. Its power was so great that they created a bright light, and a huge shockwave, that sent the Warlock and the Witch that created it back through the air, landing onto the hard earth.
"There is no evil in magic. Only in the hearts of man. Magic is all around us. It is in everything. It is impossible to have any life, without magic. It's as essence as the air we breathe, the water we drink. It is also as neutral as the air and water. It is neither good nor evil. It simply is. That cannot be changed. Balance, that is what is important. Nothing can survive by its self."
Morgana's hand which rested by her head, started to twitch, but she made no other sigh that she was awakening. Merlin many feet away, on the other side of the clearing didn't make any. His chest rising and falling with each breath was all that showed he was alive.
An eerie silence hung over the clearing for a long time. The sound of the leaves being stepped on echoed over the area.
A cold hand moved a stand of hair from Morgana's face, brushing against her equally cold cheek. With a cold smirk on their face, Morgana was lifted from the ground. Her breath tickling their neck, as her head rested on their shoulder.
Thank you for reading. I hope that you liked it. I also hope that it didn't feel like a repeat of what had been written before, Morgana and Merlin arguing. I just keep thinking of things that they have to say to each other. This is the last big scene like that I have planned, so you don't have to worry about more of the same. I choose to split the chapter the way I did as I wanted it to end with Merlin and Morgana being knocked out. That would mean that Arthur and Aglain talking would have to be all ta the start. Which would not be as interesting as you would be more interested in the other part, I hope it worked.
I have also decided to end the competition. There has only been one entry and no other interest so it seems really stupid to keep dragging it out like this. I very much doubt it, but if anyone is working on something for it now, then you can still PM it to me and if you want get a prize.
Since this could be the last chapter for a while I would like to thank a few readers that I have alluded to before, that gave me great feedback and made me really enjoy writing this story. Who also made the title image and a video to the triangle of Morgana, Merlin and Gwaine. Thank you, Ai-chiii, Dawn Ruthless, maryamT, MerganaLover, TheNoxToYourLumos, beave1, Mergana94, and to everyone else that has reviewed it means a lot. I don't know if you are still reading, but I hope that you are. As I would like to say a very big thank you and say how much I have missed reading your great reviews, and the insight you gave me. You have no idea how much they meant to me. They made writing this for me. You have no idea how much I miss reading them.
So bye. I'll see you when I see you. Again it's up to you when that is, thanks.