Hey, hope that you've all been well. To those of you that have reviewed, thank you and I am sorry that it has taken so long for me to up-date. I did say that I was going to take a break for a while. Once again I am sorry that I took a break in the first place. I have gone into all of the reasons as to why I took a break, and why I have not been up-dating as often. So I won't go into all of that again. I know it is very sad, pathetic and stupid, but it is just hard to put time and effort into something, and feel like it is for nothing. Also to see stories that have the same number of chapters, but twice or three times as many reviews as yours. It makes you ask what am I doing wrong. I ask and no one gives any advice on how to make it better, so you keep going and nothing changes. So it seems pointless. I don't know when I will up-date again. I do want to get the story done, feel I am moving forward with it. I just don't want to feel like it's pointless, a waste of time. So as I said I don't know when I will up-date again, that as always is up to you. For the next three, four months I have a lot of school work to get done and other things, so depending on you I will up-date when I can. After school in the summer I will have more free time to work on the story more. That too is up to you. I'll now more onto the responses.
LightningBolt21. I am so so so so very sorry that I have not read your story YET. I have just had so much work for school. I promise when things calm down I will read it. I'm sure it will be great. Can you tell me anymore about it.
SunnySmile1324. Sorry that is hasn't been as regular an up-date as you expected. Thank you so much for reviewing.
Dawn Ruthless. It's really hard to get that right. They have to get alone a little, because you can't have them having the same fight all the time. Yet you can't have then being friends again so soon. I worry they seem to yoyo between getting alone to hating each other too often. It would totally suck, after they let him live. Thank you.
maryamT. I should maybe have put in a break at the end of the dream. Then thou people would see it coming up and know that something would change. I didn't want to give it away. Thank you so much. Sorry you had to wait.
Guest. I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you so much. I am very sorry that you have had to wait so long for the up-date. I always felt more sympathy for her than any other character. If you look at it, everyone has someone that would put their needs, safely over their own. Arthur and Gwen pretty much have everyone, Merlin them and Gaius, the knights. Morgana only ever really had Morgause. No one else ever really thought about her. No wonder she was bitter, filled with hate.
The song first sung at the end of the chapter is the old duke by Heather dale. Those are the last two verses, the first two fit the story to, I just didn't want to put the whole song in. I thought that maybe to much. The second one is Morgana by Kellianna. I was only going to put in the first verse, but felt I should put the whole thing in. You can find both of them on youtube if you want to hear them.
Merlin saw the glint of the sword as it caught the light, flash in the corner of his eye. He froze just as Morgana did. The sword deathly close to her throat now. She was forced forward an inch by Merlin's sharp movement. In that second, when she watched the sword growing closer, her eyes lifted up. To see the person holding the sword that would strike her. Her breath caught in her exposed throat as her eyes met his. His eyes widened as they met hers. For a second after she stopped moving, the sword three inches at most from her bare skin. All three stood frozen, not daring to move. Morgana was the first to move again. An audible sigh leaving her mouth as she pulled herself up to her fall height.
"I know that I asked you that the next time I almost died, that you would make it a sword, but I didn't mean for you to try and run me through yourself." She tried to sound less shaken that she was.
Arthur placed the sword back in its holster as he took a step backwards. "Where have you two been. I have been searching for hours."
Merlin lifted his left arm, pulling Morgana's right arm up too. "It's a long story."
Arthur rolled his eyes, not that either of them saw this in the early evening light. He turned and walked back the way he had come. Back to the druid camp that still remained where it been the day before. Once their disappearance had been noticed, Arthur had gone to search for them. He had crossed paths luckily with the group of knights led by Leon that had came to assist with the locating of the druid camp. Arthur had told them there was nothing to find, but Merlin had fallen from his horse and needed to rest in a nearby village for a day or two and that he would wait with him. The prince told Merlin and Morgana this as they walked through woods after they they told him their version of what had happened to them. That Merlin had wanted to talk with Morgana, try and come to a truce. They went for a walk and were set upon by a group of bandits. Knowing that the druid camp was near they had chains that bound magic with them. Morgana had let Merlin tell Arthur the fabricated story, but she had jumped in at this point. She made sure that the Surrum was not mentioned. Knowing that she must have her reasons for this, and not wanting to give himself away Merlin went on. Telling of how they escaped, walked the woods for most of the day. Planned to rest for a while, but that they had been disturbed by him.
Arthur nodded his head a few times, but said nothing. Morgana for one of the first times in her life didn't know what he was thinking. Even if she could make out his face, she knew that she would still not be able to read his thoughts. Had he really been worried about them. She had tried to take his thorn, and Merlin was just a servant. Had he really spent the better part of the day searching for them. It also amazed her how easy it was for Merlin to lie to Arthur. The words that covered up his magic, what had really happened just spilled from his lips with little thought. How long had it taken him she wonder, till he was able to lie so effortlessly. About the same amount of time as it had her she assumed.
There was little light when they returned to the camp. One ten was already lit inside by a bright light. It was this tent they headed for. Just as they drew close, the flap was opened and Aglain stepped out. For a second he offered a faint smile. It fell quickly as he saw the chain linking Morgana and Merlin. Once they where all inside his tent he placed his hand over the chain. Uttered a few words, which were followed by the loud clanking of the chain hitting the ground. With words of thanks Merlin and Arthur left the tent for the rolled up blankets by the burnt out fire, were they would spend the rest of the night.
"So being saved by a girl." Merlin turned his head to face Arthur. "Can't feel good."
In his hurry to cover up parts of what had happened, Merlin hadn't thought to cover up that Morgana had tricked the guard into the cell and basically disarmed him. "Feels better than being dead."
"Really, I think I would rather be dead."
"Hasn't she saved your life enough times." For a second he smiled. Pleased at his comeback. He then realised how much things had changed since what he said had been true. To stop either of them thinking too much of that, he quickly changed the subject slightly. "And girl."
"You've noticed."
"No, I…you should sleep now sire. Don't want to miss out on anymore beauty sleep."
Merlin now lying on his blanket turned to face way from Arthur. He knew he had walked into it with his change of subject. It was all he could think at the time. At least Arthur would let it go now. Now that he felt he had had the final word, insult.
Morgana's eyes stayed cast down. Looking at the fallen chain. Not looking up to see them leave. It was only when she felt a hand on her shoulder that she looked up again. "It was him." She flatly stated.
"Did you see him." Aglain gently pressed.
"No, but I…..I recognised one of his men's voice." Morgana started to lose some of her composure and let her fear slip into her voice.
Aglain let out a sigh. "I'm sorry Morgana." He said as he squeezed her shoulder.
"Arthur can't know. If he does then Uther will as well." At that thought a chill ran through her whole body. "We can't risk them joining forces. Then all will surly be lost."
"Your brother spent the day searching for you. He sent his knight away to protect the camp. Whatever man Uther is his son is not like him."
Morgana wanted to laugh. Yet someone else taken in by Arthur, placing their trust in him. What had he ever done to deserve such faith and trust form so many. "You're a fool to put so much faith in someone have only met once."
Taking his hand from her shoulder, she turned to leave. Just as she reached the door flap, she was stopped. Stopped in her tracks by a deep voice calling her name. Her hand holding the material of the tent dropped to her side, as she turned round. He knew that harshness came from her fear of having just crossed path's with the Surrum again, nor from what he spoke of. She too believed in Arthur, not matter how much she might not want to.
"I am sorry for all that you have been through. This anger you hold onto, it will eat away at you."
"What makes you think it hasn't already."
"Self-pity does not suite you." Her mouth opened a little to respond, but nothing came out. He was not going to be put off my a show of her despondency. "We leave tomorrow after the prince and Merlin have left. We will need to have time to cover out tracks, if the Surrum and his men are close." He gently spoke the last part. She did not need to be told what would happen if the camp was discovered by the Surrum and his men.
She quickly nodded and left. Aglain was one of the very few people now that she would truly listen to. When she had joined with them a few months ago he had to firmly warn her that he would not help her mount an attack on the Surrum. To many of their own would be lost. After a few says to stew in her anger, she apologised and never brought it up again. She was still so full of stifled hate and anger. He saw nothing of the young women that came to him so many years ago, scared and wanting answers. It was like a dark cloud had fallen over her, blocking out all light. Merlin was also different. He seemed to also have a dark cloud hanging over him. He seemed to be wide eyed and naïve back them. In the middle of something he didn't understand. Worried about making a choice that was wrong. He saw the change of the years clearly in Mordred too.
The camp sprung to life around Arthur and Merlin just as the sun started to rise the next morning. They began to pack their things, ready to be on their way. They waited though, for Morgana and Aglain to appear and bid them farewell. They did not have to wait long, as they were two of the first to wake. The words between them the other night seemingly forgotten. They gave the prince and Merlin food and water for their journey back to Camelot. Aglain wished them well, not saying a word about his talk with Arthur the other night. Arthur offered him a smile of thanks, and promise. Promise that he would seriously think about what he had been told. The wise druid then left the three alone.
They were silent for a while, till Morgana spoke up. "It goes without saying that if you led anyone here or after us. It will not go well for either of you. I will make sure of that." Her tone was light, but there was a clear warning to it.
"What do you take me for." Arthur asked, feeling a little hurt.
"Your father's son." She sadly answered. "I know it's not fair. You have given no reason to distrust me. I can't risk-"
"I understand." Arthur affirmed as he stepped closer to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.
There was much more that he wanted to say. That she had long ago told him that he was a better man that his father. That she was the one that had proven on a number of occasions that she was the one that could not be trusted. He said none of these things. He didn't need to. She knew him well enough really to read between the lines. He knew her well enough, or at least hoped that he did, to understand her words. She was frightened that the place she felt the most at home, the safest, could be in danger. Of course she would threaten anyone she thought could be a danger.
"Thank you." After she spoke she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her brother's waist. "I can never choose him as my father." At first Arthur didn't what to do. Relaxing a little ne eventfully returned the hug. "But I will always choose you as my brother." She finished, her head resting on his chest.
Many words again played out in his mind, so much be wanted to say. He had been taken by surprise at her open show and words of affection. Realising that she already must now much of what he would say, he simply held her a little tighter and placed a quick kiss to the top of her head.
As he pulled back a little he saw a clear look of surprise on her face. That slowly slipped into a loving smile. The kind he thought he would never see from her again. A smile he gladly returned.
"Goodbye Arthur." She let him go and stepped back, but not till she kissed him lightly on the check.
There was a feeling of finitely to her farewell he did not like. "We will see each other again soon, on my wedding day."
"I hope so." Again he didn't like the undercurrent to her tone, but she sounded happier and a smile began to spread across her face, so he didn't push the matter any further.
He laughed a little under his breath, as he turned and walked away. Merlin didn't look at her as he turned to follow Arthur towards their horses tied up at the edge of the camp. He had been trying to step away subtly while they spoke, give them some privacy. It was only once he had tied the bags of food to the saddle, and untied his horse that he looked back at the camp. He saw her back as she helped another women carrying a chest to the centre of the camp where it was then placed onto the back of one of two carts that were being loaded. He then watched her enter a green tent that he assumed must be hers.
"I left something behind, I'll catch you up." He rushed out as be ran back to the camp.
"Merlin." Arthur yelled after him a few times, but quickly gave up.
With a sigh he pulled his horses rains and led him at a steady pace into the woods. Keeping to a trot he began his journey home alone. In the back of his mind he thought for a crazy monument that Merlin was running back to talk to Morgana. That something had happened the other day that they hadn't told him. The hapless manservant's affection for Morgana was a well known fact to the prince. He pushed this thought quickly away. There was no way that Merlin would lie to him. He would never get away with it, he would know. He also wouldn't dare to try and lie to him or make sure a bold move. Deciding he was better off not knowing what Merlin was up to, he began to think of how he would make it up to Gwen that their picnic had been disturbed, resulting in him being gone for two days.
Merlin glanced quickly behind him at the camp, making sure that Arthur had headed off already, before he pulled the flap of the tent open. He honestly didn't know what he was doing. What he was going to say once he saw her. He just knew that he couldn't leave things the way they were. This could be his one last chance to change the path of fate she was walking down. Save everyone so much pain.
Thinking that it was Aglain that had come to speak to her, Morgana turned round quickly, his name and words of apology ready on her tongue. Her face when she met the warlock's eyes scrunched into a frown. His name now left her lips, in the same confused manner it had the last time he entered her tent in the druid came all those years ago.
"What are you doing-"
"I couldn't leave things as they were." Both knowing they had to be quick rushed their words. She gave him a look to go on. "What will you do about-"
"No one else can know." She ordered moving a little closer towards him.
Knowing he would get no more from her on this he agreed to remain quiet about the Surrum and what had happened to her the past year. "Be careful."
"why do you care, wouldn't it make things easier for you."
"I don't want to fight you."
"Nor do I." She admitted not meeting Merlin's eyes.
A wide grin crossed his face as he moved closer. "We make a good team." She nodded still not meeting his eyes. "We should have always been a team, all of us. It should never been the three of us against you."
His words pained and saddened her and she tried to shack them off, but failed. "What dose that matter now." She bluffed her apathy.
"Are you happy." His simple question cut through her. "Don't you want to return-"
"Stop it. I am with my kind, I don't have to lie every day. You're the one that should be asking yourself if you're happy." She couldn't help but bite back. "So Merlin are you. Are you happy."
"With my friends safe yes, I am." He didn't have to think before he answered.
Morgana saw through it, the chink in his Armour. "You're such a good liar. It must come with the lifelong practice of lying to yourself."
He scoffed under his breath. "From you, I'll take that as a complement." His tone one of teasing.
She laughed a little. All that she was going to say left her memory. Her next words would have been designed to play with his male ego. Ask if he was happy living a life in the shadows, letting others take the credit for his actions. Never being acknowledged for who he was. They wouldn't have worked anyone. One of the first things that she found out about Merlin, liked at times. Was that he never looked to try and gain his own glory. Not like Arthur and all the other knights she knew. He was content with doing good with no acknowledgment. Now it irritated her, as she could not use pride to manipulate him as she could with other men. This irritation, need to hurt him, wasn't as strong as it used to be. Her hostility towards him had softened and she didn't understand why.
Merlin too laughed a little. It was all there was left to do. All their words to each other seemed to go round in circles. That had changed a little recently, they had moved forward, just a little. That would have to be enough. for now. They agreed on one large important thing. In that they were allies. There was also however something therapeutic about being able to say how he really felt for once to someone that would understand. He had stared to keep things from Gaius and Lancelot. He didn't want to worry them. Morgana despite everything was the one person that he could in a strange way open up too. She too seemed to feel the same way. He had no hope that they could have the same friendship again, but she would always be a part of his life, that was clear by now. It was good to know that they did not always have to be at war with each other.
"Arthur won't wait for long you should go."
Merlin hesitated for a second, then nodded and turned to leave. He stopped again, just at the entrance to the tent. Turning back to her one last time. "It's good to have you back."
Her anger was the same at it had been. Now hardened into a solid thing that she could push aside. But he had seen the person he first meat years ago. He saw her in the way she made sure the oldest and youngest got the most to eat at the evening meal. That she took time to entertain and teach the children. That she used her magic and knowledge to heal those in need. she turned to face him again as he spoke but he quickly left. Not wanting to argue a point he knew was true or be left to far behind by Arthur.
"You may think she's dead, but i know the old you, the real you is still alive."
His voice echoed in her head as she turned from the entrance again. Also not wanting to argue a point she already knew was wrong, she choose not to resound to that.
"Goodbye Merlin."
A few minutes later, once the rest of her things, not that she had much, were packed away she left her tent. A group of men and women who had finished packing stood by one of the now full carts singing. It was a song that Morgana had hear a number of times since joining this group of druids. She knew the words herself almost by heart. It rang through her head as she walked over to Aglain, standing by his now folded down tent.
He saw her walking towards him and gave her a smile in greeting. "Morgana."
"Aglain. I wanted to-"
"I know. It's ok."
She shook her head. "No, you are one of the few people that have tried to truly help me. I should not have spoken to you in such a way. I just-"
"I understand. You have much to feel angry and hurt over. It can't be easy to move on. However-"
"Please I know."
Knowing whatever he had to say were words that she had already heard before. In every possible variant. His eyes left her and looked to the group of singers.
"Why is it always that song." Her eyes followed back to where his had fallen.
"I think they thought you would appreciate it." He looked over at her.
"Why." Her eyes remained on the singers.
"It is about your father, Gorlois."
Morgana's breath caught in the throat, as she froze. Now truly listened to the song first time. Taking every word.
To those who thought my lack of sons
Would end a warriors line
I laugh and toast my daughter
Who upon her throne does shine.
My child and I are much the same:
Our actions swift and sure
A privilege rare, a crown to bear
The life I gave to her
A single tear slowly slide down the daughter's check.
So every passing year reserves
Familiar rhythms and the new
And through it all I lead and serve
With joy as I was born to do.
My land and I are much the same:
Our spirits swift and sure
Each oath I swear, each shouldered care
The life I give to her
Aglain gave a look to those a few feet away that had been singing. Realising that having learned the truth about that song she should hear more. The druids songs based on ancient legends were once famous in all five kingdoms. they told stories of those that were to become legend. Not many knew them now, the purge had almost wiped them form the knowledge of many. After a brief pause they started to sing again. At hearing the first few words of the new song, Morgana felt like all eyes were now focused on her.
Lady Morgaine of the Faeries
Priestess of Avalon, Ancient Wisdom
Lady Morgaine of the Faeries
Will you be lost again
In the otherworld
So many days, so many nights
no sense of place, no sense of time
Oh Morgana
Morgan le Fay
Born of Kings and Queens
Ancient powers and ancient mysteries
The Faery people they were her kin
And when she lost her way
They would take her in
So many days, so many nights
No sense of place, no sense of time
Oh Morgana
Lady of Avalon Woman Divine
Travels through the mists
and out of time
Lady of Avalon
She has found her way
and on the Isle of Avalon
She'll stay
Just as the final note was sung a drumming nose that had been downed out by the song, was heard throughout the camp. It grew and grew till it was around them.
Thanks for reading. I hope that you liked it. The part about being saved by a girl, is from the lamia episode. I know it may seem out of place, I just wanted to add a bit of Arthur and Merlin talking then, and couldn't think of anything else.
As always I would love to hear what you think. As I said before any ideas about what is wrong with the story, what I can do get make it better, get more people reading it would be great. There is also three other things I would like to ask.
Firstly, there are a few things that I have set up in the story that will be paid off later. So I would like to know what things like that, things that I have set up but not paid off, things that don't make sense are there. I want to make sure I haven't missed anything.
Secondly, is there anything from seasons 4 or 5 that you would like to see a version of in this story.
Thirdly, I had planned to have a few other song like this one worked into the story. So I would like to know if that works, or does it seem out of place would you rather not have the songs in the story.
Thank you. I look forward to hopefully hear from you.